Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos

by old vagabond

01.. Introduction

02.. Oakport

03.. New Oakport

04.. Community of Our Divine Mother

05.. Paul Fieldstone

06.. Gathering of Mariatheos

07.. Myth of Fredonia

08.. Church of Our Divine Mother in Ohio

09.. Divine Incarnation

10.. Prayers

11.. Allegory of Books and Boxes

12.. New London

13.. New York

14.. Nebraska

15.. Spiritual School of Mariatheos

16.. Spiritual School of Fredonia

17.. Mariatheos in America

18.. Universal Creation Church

19.. Church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Omaha

20.. Our Divine Mother Maria

21.. Clarisa's Story

22.. Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos

23.. Meandering thoughts about Mariatheos

24.. miscellaneous stories and fragments

25.. Way to the Eastern Light

26.. Church of Mariatheos in New Bedford

27.. Church of Mariatheos in Newburyport

28.. First Church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Vermont

29.. Church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Berkshire County

30.. Wellfleet

31.. Epilogue

32.. Insights About Mariatheos

01 Introduction

Although the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos contains stories, it is also heavy on discourse, and some of the writing could be experienced as crude, redundant, boring, or unintelligible. Hopefully the reader will ignore what is relatively worthless to them and discover some of the writing that is of value to them. Everything is included because, to use a phrase usually applicable to collectors of anything from artwork to beer cans, one person's trash might be another person's treasure.

The purpose of the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is to be a contribution to those who are in the process of discovering spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. The book is metaphorically a map; a map can be useful to those on a journey of spiritual discovery, but the person on their journey is directly experiencing much much more than what they experience from reading a book. A map is not the path a person is walking on. On the other hand some journeys are impossible to be traveled without a map. However there are an abundance of other books available that can contribute to people in their spiritual awareness development and abundant video and many different spiritual teachers. At the time of the writing of this book it is not known if other people will discover Mariatheos as their Mother of All Life and Love.

02 Oakport

Oakport is a small village on Essex bay in eastern Massachusetts.

Its topography is two low hills that are surrounded by water except to the south which is marsh. Only one road connects Oakport through the marshland to the town of Essex about five miles to the south. In effect Oakport is an island and the road south is a causeway.

Thus Oakport has been geographically isolated for centuries.

It got its name in colonial times when it was a small port that was used to export wood. Timber from the surrounding area was felled and in the winter dragged by oxen across the frozen marsh. In Oakport sawmills cut the timber into thick rough boards that were shipped to England. Unfortunately logging is not sustainable in a relatively small area and in less than a century after its founding the timber trade was history.

Fortunately some merchants in Oakport could foresee that eventuality. They began to stockpile wood and started small woodworking shops. Furniture, block and tackle, and other small wooden objects including tools became products they manufactured. In the federalist era most of the small shops consolidated to form the Oakport manufacturing company.

In the latter part of the 19th century the Oakport manufacturing company was heavily investing in other larger companies in New England. The partners of the company often traveled to Boston to investigate investment opportunities. Some also traveled northwest to explore the industries in towns stretching along the Merrimack river. And southwest to Taunton, New Bedford, and Fall River.

By the 20th century the Oakport manufacturing company manufactured relatively little but was immensely wealthy. The approximately dozen families that held part ownership of the Oakport manufacturing company all lived on estates along Bay road on the western and northwestern side of Oakport. Upper Main street connected Bay road to downtown Oakport and the small harbor on the east side of Oakport. Upper Main street was located along the low area between the two hills of Oakport and became lower Main street where it intersected Commercial street. Going north on Commercial street on the right stretched the factories of the Oakport manufacturing company. They looked like standard New England mill buildings, three floors high brick buildings with large windows.

In the first half of the 20th century most of the workers who lived in town were actually servants of the rich families who lived on Bay road. Transportation was provided to the estates for the laborers. Only a few servants with higher responsibility lived on the estates. Although in effect an aristocracy the wealthy of Oakport tried to maintain some ethos of community solidarity. They funded some of the village institutions especially the few churches. As the working population of the town became increasingly Catholic over the late 19th early 20th centuries, the wealthy families (who because their ancestry was from colonial times were all Protestant) decided to build an extraordinarily beautiful large church for the Catholic parish of Oakport. They sat in the back of the church at its dedication ceremony in 1904. Obviously they didn't take communion and did not join in the Latin prayers, but many of them experienced a little religious excitement none the less.

Albert Peterson was born a few years after the dedication of Saint Mary of the Assumption Roman Catholic church in Oakport. The Peterson family lived on one of the estates on Bay road. He was well loved by his parents and extended family who lived there. The grand house and its grounds were his whole world until he went to school at a small academy in Oakport. The private school taught the children of the wealthy owners of the Oakport manufacturing company and the children of a few of the better off professionals and small business owners of Oakport.

After graduating from Amherst college in western Massachusetts he came back to live on the estate and became a junior partner at the Oakport manufacturing company. He sat in on meetings of the partners and learned much over time about the company and the companies that Oakport manufacturing company had investments in. The post war boom of the 20's seemed to be generating unending prosperity.

Marian Woodson lived with her parents in the back bay area of Boston after she had graduated from Mount Holyoke college in western Massachusetts. She chafed under the prim and proper household culture she was expected to conform to. She had a part time job at a lawyer's office downtown, which although a welcome escape from the confinement of being at home, was rather boring and a bit demeaning.

She had met Albert at a formal dance held at Amherst. Groups of young women from nearby Mount Holyoke were chaperoned and brought to Amherst for one of the infrequent opportunities for socialization. Marian danced with Albert and developed a crush on him. Albert took her slight flirtatiousness as permission to ask if he could write to her. They established a correspondence that lasted for years.

After Marian graduated a couple years after Albert did so, Albert was able to travel to Boston a few times a month and take her to lunch. She loved his relaxed confidence and even his few faux pas at etiquette. Albert knew he loved her even if he didn't know why. That he was patient in wooing Marian was proof of his commitment to her.

Finally Marian got the courage to ask her parents to invite Albert to dinner. Although she was fearful of their disapproval of his slightly rough edges she knew that they would be impressed by his family's greater wealth than theirs. The dinner went well and Albert compensated for his lack of polish by his natural charm which he focused on her parents.

They got married less than a year after the stock market crash which lent a sense of urgency to the wedding. Her parents did not object to the ceremony and reception being held in Oakport, especially because Albert's family was footing the bill. Marian's parents were both sad and relieved to see her move out and take residence with Albert at his family's estate in Oakport. The Woodsons were in debt and in a misguided concern for their daughter were living above their means for years. Although they survived the great depression without too much distress, they spent years selling off the silver and other objects d'art they had possessed.

Marian Peterson was very happy in her married life at the Peterson estate in Oakport. Not only did she feel greatly loved and appreciated by her husband, but to some extent by his family. This was new to her. In the past in her own family she did not feel much love. There was more a sense of contract and obligation that if fulfilled by all concerned yielded a sense of security and at times contentment. Thus in her new life her level of joy was as strange as it was wonderful.

She bore a son two years after the wedding. Honestly she was not prepared for pregnancy and the pain of childbirth. Although instinct and the help of others compensated, Marian suffered a shock to her sense of reality that changed her. Thankfully she loved her infant son intensely and enjoyed nursing. However she became a little distant and disconnected from others including her husband. She recoiled at his touch and out of a bit of fear and concern about how she had changed he did not protest too much. But he was hurt none the less and sulked a bit especially in the evening. He too became a bit withdrawn from his family at times. He read and drank whiskey until late in the evening.

By the time George was two years old, his mother had recovered some strength for existence in the world. However she became a bit eccentric in order to protect her fragility. Marian had been reading poetry during her estrangement from others. As her level of engagement with others in the household increased she developed a persona which was both likable and distant. This included how she related to her husband. As Marian became more cheerful Albert became more desirous of increased intimacy. She rebuffed his entreaties again and again until one day she both cheerfully and sternly told him:

"Albert dear, grateful am I for all you have given me and your love for me. But would you have me prostitute myself to you to insure your contentment? Surely you are not such a dreadful man! So please find a gentle contentment with what we have and prove yourself a gentleman. My undying gratitude for your patience and perseverance."

Albert exclaimed in reply:

"Marian my sweet, my love, never would I be so horrible! Do not think it for a moment! Of course I will adjust to whatever you want. Please forgive me!"

She reached out for his hand and gently spoke:

" My dearest of course I forgive you! And deeply I appreciate your sacrifice of what most crude beasts think is their right. Thankfully you have proved your true love to me, and you have my love in return. "

Albert smiled at her beautiful face but with a little sadness turned and left the room.

In truth it was a more difficult situation for him than he could admit. But he would find his ways to adjust to what was not a choice similar to how he had been coping for a couple of years. However some level of depression lifted with his limited acceptance of her as she was.

The Oakport manufacturing company did not lose too much money during the great depression. The company had a long history navigating American 19th century booms, busts, and financial panics. The company developed a rule of never investing in companies with a debt load of more than 50% of capital, and of selling off their investment if a company reached 85% debt to equity and their management did not listen to them and change course. Other business people snickered at how conservative Oakport manufacturing company was as it missed out on seemingly profitable opportunities. However the company survived when dare devils crashed to earth.

Although WW2 increased national industrial production and therefore the wealth of the owners of industry including the Oakport manufacturing company, the war effort generated anxiety for most people in America and fear for many. Albert went to Washington to work for the commerce department which was busy developing coordination between government and industry. Although not as important as the treasury department both departments increased in size and amount of bureaucracy as countless rules and regulations were issued and compliance efforts and information gathering grew huge. Albert found the work both exhausting and exhilarating. He felt a strong sense of purpose as did most everyone contributing to the war effort. Of course at times he felt a bit guilty he was out of harms way.

Marian was grateful Albert did not join the military. She was incredibly fond of him and missed his presence in their home. She loved him, perhaps differently than most wives loved their husbands, but she maintained her autonomy by being a bit distant. She was grateful that Albert was an attentive father but it seemed George was not too upset at his father's absence. George was caught up in the war effort in his own way. His play room became a pretend war room with a large map of Europe spread out over two low coffee tables. Albert had obtained the map and set it up that way before he left. He hoped George would realize why daddy had to go help save Europe. Little did he know how obsessed George would become with the war in Europe.

George asked his grandfather for many boxes of tin soldiers. Grandpa eventually was able to arrange for their purchase and delivery. He couldn't say no to a direct request from his beloved grandson. George was not usually the type of child who asked for gifts. When George opened up the boxes he was overjoyed. They were detailed and captured the many different uniforms and ranks of soldiers that fought in the Napoleonic wars. French, Prussian, Austrian, Polish, Russian, British armies were all represented.

George had been a precocious little boy. His mother taught him to read before he went to school. He had his own personal library with a children's encyclopedia and dictionary. By the time the war in Europe began George could read the newspaper which he then began to commandeer after his grandfather finished it. It didn't take long for his grandfather to order an extra copy to be delivered.

For whatever reason George closely followed the events in Europe starting with the German invasion of Czechoslovakia. Perhaps it was a way to share in his father's purpose. Perhaps it was a way to deal with the general anxiety most adults were experiencing. Perhaps it was a way to try and understand what is beyond comprehension. But George put his toy soldiers on the map and moved them and added and subtracted the number of them from each army as events unfolded as written in the newspaper and as reported on the radio.

Between going to school, doing his homework, and worrying about the fate of Europe, George was almost exhausted by the time of the long awaited defeat of Germany. He felt more relief than joy. His mother had been worried about him but could not do anything about his obsession. She was convinced it was how he dealt with missing his father. After the war Albert returned home exhausted himself. Marian watched and waited as they both slept much and recovered.

8 years after the end of the war, the Oakport manufacturing company accepted an offer for its purchase by a larger private equity company based in Boston. Disagreement over strategy had been growing among the partners during the early post war era. To be blunt, many wanted to cash out and make their own investment decisions. All the forced collegiality began to be felt an unnecessary burden. Importantly the younger generation did not necessarily want to limit themselves to participation in such a boring business. Also inheritance issues were starting to get too complicated. But the bigger problem was the younger generation did not want to stay in Oakport. It seemed like a wealthy enclave boring and far from civilization. Bottom line, few wanted to live as adults with their parents on the estates. There was really little choice but to sell and distribute the proceeds to the former partners. However some of them felt some grief; something that had been very good to them had died, swallowed up by a larger beast.

It didn't take long before half of the estates were abandoned except for a resident caretaker. Sometimes those grand houses were used for family gatherings for a few weeks during the summer; but rarely. The other estates remained occupied by the older generation, visited occasionally by their independent offspring.

Before the sale of the Oakport manufacturing company the actual factory buildings and the land were sold for a nominal amount to the Oakport historical society which promised to maintain them and in time set up a museum there. Although during the war some of the buildings were used to manufacture typewriters sold to the government and the army, a couple years after the war all manufacturing ceased for good.

Slowly but steadily the population of Oakport decreased over the decades after the war. Both the working class and the wealthy had less reason to be there and had more desirable opportunities elsewhere.

Deborah Cloudfer got divorced in 1972. She had to find a cheap place to live in a hurry. Spacious apartments in Oakport were renting at half the cost of a similar place in Manchester by the Sea where she worked as a waitress. Although a 30 minute drive through back roads it was worth it. She actually sort of fell in love with Oakport and found it to be the most charming town in that area of Massachusetts. Her kids liked it also and she felt fine letting them explore the town on their own.

Once settled she invited her friends to visit. One friend from Boston was getting sick of the crowded city. After visiting Deborah she impulsively rented an available apartment in a building on the same block. Deborah had no idea at the time but she was the start of a trend that reversed the decrease in population of Oakport.

While working and living in Washington during the war, Albert Peterson started to have affairs. As he was a good looking charming wealthy man, some women were happy to have a brief romance. Away from Marian his devotion to her faded and his resentment of her rejection of him increased.

After the war when he got home his guilt became difficult as his love for her rekindled. One evening slightly drunk he asked to talk with her. He sat down and started to cry. His confession and his profession of devotion gushed forth. Marian was not stupid. She had expected that to happen when he was away. None the less she was sad and took a moment to compose her words.

"Albert darling it is ok. Obviously I would prefer that you had not indulged but believe me I am grateful you were faithful to me those years before. Honestly I have no right to demand anything from you just as I have asked you not to demand anything from me. So it grieves me but it is not something I can expect. And darling I am sad to say it is not something I can realistically expect from you in the future. But if you do so it will necessarily put more distance between us. However that might just have to develop. Not much is in our control, the war has made that abundantly clear. So you are free my darling! But go now and protest nothing, you do not know the future. Good bye for now."

Albert was stunned. He stared at her and knew not what to say. So he did turn from her and leave the room.

Gradually the emotional distance between Albert and Marian increased. Unfortunately there was also some distance between Albert and his son. Albert's absence from the family for 6 years forced a detachment that could not easily be changed. When the war was over George was a teenager more concerned about discovering his capacity for autonomy than rediscovering a relationship with his father. Thus he was grateful if his dad helped him in that process but the love of a boy for his father was gone.

That Albert was charming indicated he had empathy for others and could defer to their point of view for a time. Thus he had enough intuition and capacity to adjust to what George needed from him. So he took on the role of teacher. Revealing to George knowledge of the world that he would not learn in school. They talked about the war a lot. Albert was surprised at how much George knew but there was still knowledge and perspective George could learn from his father. By the time George was going off to college they had a relationship of mutual respect and appreciation.

In 1975 George Peterson inherited his family's estate. His mother had remarried and although having gained a considerable divorce settlement from Albert Peterson decades before, was barely included in his will. George had visited his father a couple times over the years in New York. Albert moved there after the divorce. The estate was too closely linked to Marian and his feelings about her were intense even if full of confusion.

In New York Albert seemed to thrive. With his wealth he financed several money losing off Broadway plays. The directors, cast and crews were deeply appreciative of his subsidizing their craft, their purpose in life. Some women showed their appreciation intimately. He was both melancholy and a bon vivant. He loved New York and he took advantage of all it had to offer. He even made some money investing in real estate. However what New York has always been able to offer is abundant diverse cultural exploration of melancholy. Film noir, beat poetry, avant-garde theatre, jazz, abstract expressionist painting, all have strong associations with New York.

After barely graduating from Amherst, George decided to settle in Boston. His father had given him a generous trust fund and that was very fortunate for George as he became increasingly dysfunctional. Although Albert suffered from melancholy George was suffering from severe depression with perhaps some schizophrenic tendencies. He had been perhaps more deeply dependent on his mother than was conscious. He was expected to go away to college and start to become an autonomous adult. But something necessary was missing in the machinery and he did not know what it was. Psychological help was a joke, the best someone could do was listen and offer bogus platitudes. He was convinced no one knew how the mind worked. His own reading just revealed countless competing theories. He knew the mind could not be understood. He was unusually intelligent and yet knew nothing, but he was intelligent enough to understand the difference between conjecture and certainty. He was skeptical of anyone else who claimed certainty. Bluff and bluster is how many a salesman convinces others of his expertise. In any case no one could help him. He just had to suffer and survive as best he could.

George walked aimlessly around Boston incessantly. At least a small part of his mind could notice his surroundings as mostly he was preoccupied with his suffering. Not that his mind was making progress at discovering anything. Just repetitive musings or complaints or self judgement. What he would later discover the Buddhists called monkey mind. However at times he noticed the architecture of buildings, or the sky and clouds, or the faces of others. Sometimes he would pause in front of a church and wonder. Not quite consciously envious of others faith. But he dismissed religion as a cultural product of society, having no independent truth. He walked on.

The persistence of suffering yielded a not avoidable realization of helplessness. Ironically any acceptance of helplessness or powerlessness brought a bit of grace. Eventually George would learn this state of awareness was called emptiness.

As more friends of friends of Deborah visited Oakport and were enchanted enough to move there, this multiplying effect within a decade repopulated Oakport to exceed its past high point. This network of people who at least knew a few of the others in town jump started an intense sense of community. Many of them had much in common. On average they were college educated, majored in the humanities, were over qualified for the types of jobs they were doing, and they were mostly women. As more people lived in Oakport there was more demand for local businesses. And a few of the recent arrivals started the small cafes, restaurants, book stores, food markets, they had dreamed about for years. And since many of the recently settled residents had common sensabilities, there was an appreciative customer base for these new business. In the last two decades of the 20th century many who lived in Oakport felt it was as close to being utopian as it was possible in the real world.

When George Peterson moved back into his childhood home, it was empty except for the caretaker. George assured Harold he could stay. There was much to maintain in such a large house that was showing its age. George asked Harold to inform him about any major repair projects that would require tradesmen to be hired. George was not ready for significant renovations but he knew eventually they would be necessary. At the age of 44 George felt like a weathered vagabond finally finding a place to call home. This in spite of spending the last two decades in one apartment in Boston. It was because George had spent most of his days wandering around the city that he felt himself a wanderer. The restlessness was a reaction to his chronic grief. Walking and wandering distracted himself from himself. Although nothing about his psyche was solved for, he built up a stamina for maintaining a quality of awareness, what was in effect an instinctive capacity for detachment, that he could now maintain in a more settled pattern of life in his new (old) home.

George was amazed at the changes taking place in Oakport. He went to town often enough but his habitual isolation insured no one talked to him. If George was a bit confused or uncomfortable he tended to scowl. He didn't care about his appearance and wore clothes slightly ragged and stained. He drove a 25 year old Ford that he kept from his college days but because he barely drove it in Boston it sat in a garage and accumulated little mileage. The garage owner made sure it was kept in good maintenance. Thus all the recent residents of Oakport thought he was a poor crazy man who lived on some not known backwoods lot somewhere in Oakport, possibly in a tent. Somehow the old timers who knew who he was kept his identity secret. It was part of long running amusement they kept to themselves.

George was a frequent customer at the Dove and Dragon Bookstore. Although he became a compulsive reader of fantasy novels, he also started to read books on spirituality. The easy suspension of disbelief in reading novels left a residual limited openness to alternative awareness and understanding of reality. Especially within the eastern spiritual traditions he recognized a little of what he had already experienced but without naming it. Moments of awareness without thought he now knew was a goal of meditation. Unknowingly he had been practicing walking meditation for many years. This validation encouraged more openness to a spiritual approach to living. And within much of different spiritual teachings was a rejection of taking on the false expectations of society. This was a comfort to him because in spite of his inherited wealth, he was a complete failure in the world.

After several years living in Oakport, George began to feel an overwhelming urge to visit Europe. It took a couple months of preparation. He got a haircut, bought some new but casual clothes, applied for a passport, and visited a travel agent in Boston for an extensive package of bookings for travel and hotels. He planned to stay about two weeks in each city. He wanted time to wander and explore. He planned to be away for three months. About as much time as the British aristocracy had allotted for their grand tours.

In November of 1979 the heating system of Saint Mary in Oakport broke down for good. The parish was not able to afford to replace it and it was beyond repair. The Boston diocese decided to shutter Saint Mary after having all the water from the system drained. The small congregation was directed to attend St John the Baptist church in Essex. Honestly Catholics in Oakport had been expecting such a consolidation for years. The post war decline of population in Oakport was especially large for its Catholic residents. The number of people employed by the estates decreased drastically and almost all those working at the old factory buildings lost their jobs when the limited amount of manufacturing ceased for good. So although some stayed in Oakport and worked in other towns, especially those who were renting just moved out of town after losing their reason for living there.

The Diocese of Boston put the church building up for sale but past experience showed it would probably remain vacant for years.

When George Peterson came back from Europe he had finally found what he had no idea he was always looking for. He found his Mother of Love. During his wanderings in the cities of Europe, he often found himself wandering into a side chapel of a church. Commonly those chapels were focused on Maria, Mother of God. The different statues of Maria were at first just a subject of curiosity. However those chapels were where he felt the most comfortable, and he often just sat there grateful for a little more sense of calm than he usually experienced. What were in the beginning just places of contemplation by the end of his time in Europe were places of devotion to Mother of eternal Love. The love he experienced at times in those Marian chapels exceeded any memory of love he ever had or imagined. So he dropped as much as possible the secular assumptions about reality he always had. Obviously they had never served him well at all. However he did not convert to Catholicism. Christianity did not make sense to him either.

After George settled back into his home in Oakport, he began to read as much as he could about not only Marian devotion, but about all the different ways people (usually women) worshipped God as Mother. He discovered many had taken devotion to Mary or Maria and elevated that to worship or devotion to Divine Mother who was God. Many writers recognized all the different female deities around the world and throughout history as all expressions of the Divine Mother. So he was not alone but although there were many books there were few groups that met for worship of Divine Mother. The great diversity of spiritual experience insured that it was mostly personal spiritual awareness of Divine Mother that people experienced, and that was true for him.

August 15 is the feast day of the Assumption of Mary into Heaven. George felt a strong urge to make a pilgrimage to the now closed Saint Mary of the Assumption church downtown. But traditionally a pilgrimage is on foot, so he walked the two and a half miles from his home to the church. By the time he arrived spirit guides had already been suggesting to him that he was to make a major commitment to Divine Mother that day. A thousand feet away he felt Her Love overcoming him. When he reached the front of the church he stood facing it and threw his hands up in the air and looking up to the sky shouted:

"Yes! Yes I will!".

Then he collapsed and sat on the steps crying, feeling everything , love, fear, sadness and joy. Of course he had little idea of how to proceed so he was going to have to rely on faith.

So there was a purpose to his inherited wealth. He was to buy the closed down Saint Mary of the Assumption church and convert it into several chapels where people could come for contemplation and prayer. A series of sacred spaces dedicated to Divine Mother that would allow people to discover Her. But without having to conform to any doctrine or group ritual. In other words to give others the opportunity George had in Europe.

Buying the church building was relatively easy, he just offered the diocese their asking price. What would be difficult was how to convert a unitary space into chapels. He was going to have to find the right architect, he was going to have to be open to being guided to the right person.

George was convinced the architect had to be a woman. So he obtained a directory of architects in Massachusetts and only considered the names of women. He prayed over each name and put a check mark next to it if he felt some urging by Holy Spirit of Divine Mother. After a few days he had a list of 20 names. He wrote a letter to each one describing the project and asked if they would be interested. Only five got back to him.

Each woman architect traveled to Oakport to talk with George and look at the church. While talking to one of them at the church, he felt and almost saw her being anointed by Holy Spirit of Divine Mother. He selected her and placed his faith in her completely. When he told her she burst into tears and mumbled prayers of gratitude to her Divine Mother. "Ave Maria" was what Gladiola Fiorello said over and over.

The Chapels of our Divine Mother consisted of 8 chapels connected by corridors. At the corners of the former Saint Mary church were built four circular spaces each having tall stained glass windows within the round stone walls. Except for the additions the exterior of the church looked the same. One entered the building by the same doors as before but the entry space was part of a continuous large hall that followed along the four sides of the building. New abstract slightly geometrical colorful stained glass windows lined the hallways. Where the hallway turned at the corners of the building, a door led to each of the four round chapels. From the hallways on each side were the doors to the interior chapels which had no windows but utilized dramatic lighting. The interior chapels each had an altar like piece of carved furniture upon which was placed an exquisitely carved mahogany or walnut wood sculpture of Divine Mother, slightly abstract and not painted. The round chapels had no altar but the Windows were colorful slightly abstract portrayals of Divine Mother. Thus in all the chapels Divine Mother was of no discernible ethnic type. She was portrayed as universal eternal Mother to all.

The Dove and Dragon Bookstore in Oakport expanded into an adjoining retail space that was available. Although bookshelves lined the walls the new space remained fairly open so as to accommodate book readings. Most of the featured authors wrote books on spirituality or psychological healing which usually involved some kind of spiritual awareness development. Most of those who moved to Oakport had some self consciousness that they suffered from some degree of psychological woundedness. Although trying to define codependancy is like trying to define the shape of a puddle of water, the stories of codependancy are immediately recognizable to those with similar experience. Although some people in Oakport found what they viewed as self obsession barely tolerable, their buck up buttercup attitude if voiced was met with disdain and hostility. Oakport was a self consciously safe space. And if someone lacked empathy they might end up friendless. Perhaps they should move back to the heartless society they escaped from if they were so strong.

On the other hand people who were found too psychologically draining were also shunned. They were perhaps not knowingly oppressive but unable to change even if confronted by someone who had enough. Defacto there was a limited range of psychological states that people could have if they were to enjoy acceptance and participation in the renaissance community of Oakport. Oakport had its set of internal exiles as every society has. For those who for whatever reason found themselves shunned to some degree they found a way to stay in Oakport and adjust. Usually that involved staying relatively quiet and participating with a degree of anonymity. Total anonymity was not possible in Oakport, but relative to others they were more in solitude and did not share who they were with others.

It was mostly those who felt alone in Oakport who tended to wander into the chapels of our Divine Mother. Since they were used to relative solitude the solitude of being in a chapel was not as strange as it might have been for some others who were more fully engaged in participation in the community. In fact those who frequented the chapels found being there an exalted state of solitude. Some began to feel indeed they were not alone, but at times they were in the presence of Holy Spirit from Divine Mother. This was at times a gentle ecstasy. Those elevated to such a high spiritual state were extremely blessed. Whatever dysfunctionality or pathos they had in the world was in those moments totally inconsequential. Usually after they left the sanctuary of the chapels of our Divine Mother their grace dissipated and they were back in the world with their usual awareness containing chronic distress, but not quite. From time to time a memory of their grace faintly returned. And they looked forward to the next opportunity to visit the chapels of our Divine Mother.

Mary Coultier fell into a deep depression after her breakup with her last boyfriend. She became withdrawn and alone after having to push all her friends away. They had been incessant in gushing optimistic cliches that were meaningless to her. But it soon became apparent they were impatient with this stranger their friend Mary had become. Their friend was the former Mary who was a fountain of enthusiasm and fun. She could see they were not too disappointed that she was now avoiding them.

What was difficult was continuing to work the counter at cafe Bourgal where her natural former friendliness made it an enjoyable job. Now she was painfully aware of how much her customers had relied on her good cheer which she could no longer produce. She begged to work in the kitchen if possible. Luckily someone doing food prep was willing to switch jobs. Food prep could be relatively boring but Mary welcomed the relative solitude of the work.

Mary's depression lasted a long time but as it became familiar it became more tolerable. Ironically being withdrawn opened possibilities for different kinds of awareness. She became an observer and not a participant. She could not help but be cynical about what she now judged as the games people play. Especially the game of romance she developed a bitter disdain for. She no longer believed in the game of love. She had been particularly good at it for many years. But to be good at it you had to believe it was real, and now she believed it was delusional.

Mary Coultier began to spend time at the chapels of our Divine Mother. Although previously she had shared in the amorphous spiritual awareness common in Oakport, she never had motivation to explore spirituality seriously. Unfortunately spirituality is more necessary for those less able to find satisfaction with their self in the world. Although she increased the time spent at the chapels over the months, she did not read much about spirituality or religion. Only her own experience is what mattered to her.

To some degree Oakport was a victim of its own success. As its reputation grew in eastern Massachusetts as a hip wonderful place to live, more people moved there. However at some point Oakport was full. Geography and topography limited the number of buildable lots. The Oakport historical society exerted tremendous efforts to limit alteration of the historical look of the town. Although it did not have the force of law they were willing to file lawsuits to slow or impede development. It was best for any developer to negotiate with them before starting any project. However some increase in residential capacity developed. One by one the former estates were turned into condominiums. The preservation of as much as possible the historic character of the old estate not only satisfied the Oakport historical society but allowed for attaining a premium price. Some old timers began to sell their house for more than they ever imagined. Some people were being pushed out of Oakport by the increasing cost of housing and many who would have wanted to move to Oakport could not afford to do so. Those who came during the renaissance and bought their house stayed. And some who owned a few multi family houses and were friends with their tenants did not raise rents more than a little to cover costs. There were enough landlords with a conscience that more low wage workers stayed in Oakport than might have otherwise.

20 years after George Peterson moved back to Oakport he bought a high end camper van and packed a few dozen books and the usual necessities and headed out west. By that time he had bought a small house near downtown and sold the estate for a good price. But he was not sure he was going to return to Oakport anytime soon. He had another mission to accomplish for Divine Mother, and it might take years.

George bought another small house in Omaha. But he didn't plan on staying in his new home for that long. It was going to be more like a base camp for further exploration. He also rented an office space downtown and hired only one competent person to do everything, which would not be much for a while but would hopefully expand and require other staff. The community of our Divine Mother became a legal entity years before it became a reality.

George spent many months exploring western Nebraska. He had to remain open to angelic guidance as he was searching for 2 square miles of land to purchase. It took 2 years before that goal was accomplished.

The cooperative community of our Divine Mother in western Nebraska had over a thousand residents. They lived in 4 story multipurpose buildings that were interconnected with each other. Buildings contained various size apartments, schools, shops, offices, production workshops, and greenhouses. And also in the center were the sanctuary and chapels of our Divine Mother.

Mary Coultier moved to the community of our Divine Mother in Nebraska. She was the anointed one to guide the community. She had no formal role but most people there realized her spiritual authority. Holy Spirit of Divine Mother was more present with her than most. She could do nothing that was not within that presence. And she would do anything she was guided and enabled to do. Which was usually no more than just talking and listening to someone. Those she engaged with felt guided and what she said was inspired. But what she gave was darshan, that is a few moments of presence for the other of Holy Spirit from Divine Mother.

Mary Coultier had become a spiritual guide several years before George Peterson went out west. People came from increasingly longer distances to travel to Oakport for the chance to talk to her. She sat at a table in the cafe fantastique during the afternoon when it would otherwise be almost empty. Except for some business at lunch cafe fantastique was most busy primarily in the evening when they hosted live music. It was a little too expensive for most people most of the time. But the cafe was getting busier during the afternoon because of Mary. People came to sit and have something while waiting for a chance to talk to her. And if they did not get a chance they might try another day.

If Mary was not occupied she would look around the room and if her gaze settled on someone and she gently smiled that person would get up and sit at her table usually with a bit of trepidation. No one asked her a question, they just waited as she prayed to Divine Mother. After a few moments she would look at them with her enigmatic smile and deliver a message. Often the message seemed like a riddle. At times it was a suggestion, or a spiritual perspective, or a blessing. However what was almost always so was that the experience was an alternative state of awareness that could not be understood. Even though the experience was temporary, there was a lasting residual subtle effect. Mary refused any compensation. However Mary's rent, utilities and grocery bill were all paid for by the cafe fantastique.

Slowly at first in Oakport but later in the greater Boston area, there developed a community of people with a devotion to Divine Mother. Although Mary gave no talks or wrote anything, there emerged a woman who facilitated communication between those who had some personal experience with Mary Coultier at the cafe fantastique and had spent some time in contemplation or prayer at the chapels of our Divine Mother. At first just a growing collection of personal stories and descriptions of personal spiritual awareness, eventually Angelina felt inspired enough to write some brief articles portraying some common patterns within the diversity of spiritual experience of this tenuous spiritual community of our Divine Mother.

The only time some of this disparate community of our Divine Mother gathered together was a couple evenings a month at the cafe fantastique for performances by some singer songwriters inspired by their devotion to Divine Mother.

Mary Coultier was deeply grateful to George Peterson for the creation of the chapels of our Divine Mother. Because he would sometimes go to a chapel for prayer, one time she saw him as he was about to enter the chapels and she had just left. When she saw him on the path leading to the chapels she asked him to stop for a moment. She clasped her hands in prayer and then looked up at him. He was a little stunned. He knew who she was and had the greatest respect for her although they had never spoken to each other before then. She smiled fully at him but he could barely see her face because his vision was flooded with light but he heard her voice.

" Divine Mother has blessed you extraordinarily, and in turn you have blessed us with this great gift. Upon behalf of all who ever have or who ever will visit these extraordinary places for prayer to our Divine Mother, I want you to know you have our deepest gratitude. "

George knelt down on one knee and before he started to cry uncontrollably was able to mutter,

"You are the anointed one! Thank you so very much for your blessing."

She replied,

" Divine Mother has blessed you greatly. "

She walked away in the beautiful spring day with the trees in blossom.

A month after his encounter with Mary and several years after the opening of the chapels of our Divine Mother, George began to feel restless. The relative calm he had been experiencing since his return from Europe was starting to drain away leaving himself in a low level existential crisis he thought was gone for good. He also felt confusion, he was certain of being blessed by Divine Mother but he no longer felt as blessed.

There was a walking trail behind his grand house that led up to the crest of North hill. It soon became routine for him to walk the mile up the hill. There was a stone paved circle at the crest with a few stone benches along its edge. The views of Essex bay were captivating. He felt a little more calm sitting there and he spent about an hour there most days.

As spring became summer George was becoming familiar with this new chapter of his life. He was more often in contemplation or meditation than in prayer. He knew he was blocked from having a deeper spiritual awareness of Divine Mother. Frankly he knew this from his experience of being in the presence of Mary Coultier. He could not dismiss the possibility of a level of awareness closer to Holy Spirit from Divine Mother. That he was afraid indicated there remained habitual common awareness of his self that resisted its decrease, to put it dramatically, its death. Death of self is a familiar spiritual principle in diverse spiritual teachings. But it is a very difficult process. However he knew he was being guided and crucially he knew he had no choice. So his contemplative but purgatorial practice would go on indefinitely, probably years.

It took several years before George Peterson had the capacity to accept the next phase of his purpose. He discovered so much that was unconscious. His attachment to the grand old house he grew up in and inherited was larger than he suspected. A great possession greatly affirms its owner. George loved to ramble around the huge house, exploring different rooms and the memories evoked. Yes, he needed to have lived years in the house to help heal from the madness that he suffered from in Boston. But it was an extensive luxury that he must now give up.

Evidently higher levels of awareness from eternal Love require deeper levels of emptiness of false self awareness and false awareness of the world. In hindsight the 20 years of suffering in Boston was the necessary purgatorial decay of the extensive false awareness George Peterson developed as a child growing up into a young man. Seemingly without mercy habitual deeply emotional patterns of psyche intrinsic to who he was had to decay. Obviously he had no idea what was going on or that it had purpose. Thus purgatory is guided by not known spiritual forces and spiritual mind. Only when unconscious capacity develops that is relatively empty of common false awareness, is it then possible to begin to experience some spiritual grace. Only in hindsight is there even a little understanding of personal purgatory.

However years after his capacity for grace was seemingly sufficient, he had to undergo further purgatorial suffering in order to develop increased capacity for both grace and purpose. However this time he was a little wiser about his purgatory and could cooperate to some degree with the process.

Holy Spirit from Divine Mother was far from finished with the tasks George Peterson had to accomplish. After the completion of the chapels of our Divine Mother in Oakport, it seemed to George his work was done. However in the years after that, George was growing in subtle spiritual knowledge and grace. And then the difficult purgatorial years further increased his capacity for grace and wisdom.

A dozen years after his epiphany in which he gave himself up to Divine Mother and promised to help create the chapels of our Divine Mother, he was sitting at the crest of North hill looking out over Essex bay. Suddenly he was no longer seeing the natural world but saw a vision. In shock he saw a complex of buildings like those of the old Oakport manufacturing company but they were located in the middle of vast grasslands. Just as quickly the vision vanished and he saw the bay, the sky, and the surrounding area as before. Still in shock he heard in his mind a gentle voice of a woman saying to him:

"George darling, please build it. Angels and spirit guides will help you. There is nothing to fear. Return the love Divine Mother has given you by building a home for Her children. Her love is with you and will flow through you as you serve Her purpose. You have done this before and you can contribute to something even greater. You need know nothing. Faith is all that is necessary. And you have a great capacity for faith."

George was overwhelmed. He sat there until dusk when he made his way home.

In 1980 Paul Fieldstone drove from Salem to Kirkland Massachusetts about 50 miles away. The two cities were about the same distance from Boston but Salem was to the northeast and Kirkland was to the southwest. Kirkland had become a successful tourist town in the late 20th century. It was full of bars, music clubs, restaurants, and a few small boutique hotels for those who were wise enough not to drive many miles home drunk. People traveled from all over the greater Boston area to have a good time in Kirkland.

It started with just one very expensive but extraordinary nightclub that opened in Kirkland. The owner was convinced higher income people would drive to Kirkland if there was something special enough to motivate them. They had to drive to Boston anyway to go to the theater or a high end restaurant or a night club. Driving and parking in Boston was an ordeal, so why wouldn't they drive to Kirkland? It was much less expensive to buy an old building in Kirkland and renovate it than to try and do something similar in Boston. Not only was real estate relatively cheap but construction tradesmen charged a lot less. Owning the space was much more cost effective than renting especially in the long term.

The Star City Cabaret featured a retro show of song and dance by primarily women performers. The music had an early 20th century feel but was a modern mash up of world music and jazz. It was melodic and up tempo except for a few ballads. However the exotic quality of the music was maintained by having all the songs sung in foreign languages. The food was high quality and a fusion of world cuisine. Of course all the drink was top shelf and the mixologist quite creative. It was extremely expensive but that did not prevent the cabaret from being wildly successful.

Soon other entrepreneurs opened up their own establishments, but in a range of affordability. Starting with Star City, all the businesses opening up maintained a retro aesthetic, which was helped by the older architecture of the buildings downtown. For Kirkland had suffered the fate of many New England cities and towns that experienced economic decline as industry either shut down or relocated out of the area. Imported manufactured products replaced domestic production throughout America. Kirkland was just very fortunate that an alternative economic source of prosperity developed for the city.

Paul had dropped out of Salem State only after a semester. He couldn't concentrate on the course work at all. His mother blamed his pot smoking but he had been smoking weed for years and he got good enough grades to graduate high school and be accepted by the college. Something changed and he didn't know what it was. Having no sympathy at home he decided to leave and go somewhere he sort of liked and he knew that he could easily find a job. He had worked summers as a dishwasher in local restaurants and even saved some money. So he packed up the used car he bought cheap and with a slight sense of adventure left home.

In Kirkland he rented a basement apartment and quickly found a job. He was happy he was able to survive on his own. Walking around Kirkland on an evening he wasn't working was at first enchanting. However it didn't take long for him to feel an outsider who couldn't afford to have the fun others seemed to be having and he had no one to be with even if he could. Loneliness became chronic but depression didn't prevent him from working and surviving. Which he did so for years.

Barbara Fieldstone kept her married name so as to have the same name as her two children. However she had been head of household since she kicked the bastard out when Paul was five. Robert Fieldstone had been cheating for years and Barbara knew it. But she didn't feel strong enough to raise the family on her own until she told him to get out. It was difficult being a full-time mom and working full-time as a waitress at a breakfast and lunch coffeeshop in Salem. It was busy but she earned decent money. Robert was stingy on child support but it was better than nothing. After the divorce he lost his job from drinking on the job, and was only able to find lower paying work. That Barbara was a bitter woman she would not dispute. Life was hard and only the tough made it.

Somehow her daughter did well in school, always had friends, graduated from Salem State and got a good job in Boston as an administrative assistant. Barbara had reason to hope that she could find a better man than her father. Hopefully, but Barbara was going to warn her daughter if someone she was considering seemed suspicious.

Paul was hopeless, and she was relieved when he moved out. She was worried he would become a dead beat lay about after he dropped out. So she was pleased he had enough integrity to become independent. Hopefully he would eventually find a way forward.

Paul's older sister took pity on him. Laura and Paul had been close, as children of divorced parents sometimes are. Being somewhat abandoned by parents who have too many problems of their own can force early self reliance and mutual support. One day Laura visited Paul in Kirkland and offered to help him move to Oakport. A friend of hers lived there and a room had just opened up in the group household. Laura had already paid the rent for two months for him. She felt the friendliness and non judgmental attitudes of people in Oakport would be good for him. There was restaurant work available in Oakport . She had much hope Paul would have a better life there. After much hesitation from a confusion of feeling, Paul expressed much gratitude and accepted his sister's help.

Paul went frequently to visit the chapels of our Divine Mother. He remained an outsider in Oakport but it was perhaps better for him to live in Oakport than anywhere else. There was a lot he could do without talking to anyone. For he could not have a conversation with another to save his life. Too much humiliation and self consciousness made it impossible for him to talk with anyone beyond pragmatic necessity at work or shopping or ordering coffee and a muffin at a cafe. He enjoyed going to book readings and felt a tiny bit of community at them. But it was everything about Oakport that made him grateful to live there. Especially the chapels of our Divine Mother became his refuge from the world. The spiritual awareness he experienced there became an alternative to the world and superior to it. Although he read books on spirituality they did not contribute to his spiritual experience but they did contribute to his understanding.

Laura continued to live at home while she worked in Boston. Although her mother's cynicism could be exasperating at times, mostly they got along well and allowed each other as much time alone as wanted. Cost wise it was highly advantageous to both of them. And to be honest Laura was a little nervous about living alone in an apartment in Boston. She had a number of friends and their stories frightened her. A great guy could turn on someone in a moment if he was at all rejected. Even one story of a sexual assault was enough for Laura to be extremely cautious in the realm of going out for a good time. Unfortunately her resistance to early intimacy in a relationship often resulted in them ending.

In talking with her mother about men, at first she was a little frustrated by her mother's cynicism. Obviously Barbara's experience with Laura's father justified her mother's bitterness. However after a few years Laura was beginning to accept that there was some truth to sweeping generalizations about men. Laura was not bitter but anxious, she was in confusion as to how to proceed with her life.

From time to time Laura would visit her brother in Oakport and take him to lunch. She accepted his awkwardness and they sat mostly in silence during the meal. She asked a few questions about his life and was satisfied with short answers. She did find out he often went to be in the chapels of our Divine Mother. After lunch they would part but she would stay a while in Oakport. She liked being there. It was too far from Boston for an easy commute so she never considered moving there.

One afternoon in Oakport she walked to the chapels of our Divine Mother. She had never been religious. To be frank when she was a child her mother was too exhausted on a Sunday morning to go to church. Besides some religious platitudes it seemed Barbara was not religious and the question of god never surfaced in the household. Laura was a little surprised Paul had found such spiritual devotion and even more surprised it was so unusual. But Oakport had a reputation for being a small center for alternative spirituality including feminist spirituality. However Laura had adopted the seemingly intelligent secular skepticism about religion and spirituality that was common on college campuses. But Paul's sincerity struck an emotional chord that reason could not completely silence.

With a little bit of fear she walked into the chapels of our Divine Mother and circled the hallways twice before entering one of the round light filled chapels. She sat down alone and marveled at the stained glass windows. Each large window portrayed slightly differently a larger than life woman in flowing robes and hair, having a face barely discernible as multi colored swirls of light radiated from Her face and hands and center of Her being.

Laura sat for half an hour, and her mind wandered and her emotions fluctuated. She left the chapel and the building and walked a little distance noticing how beautiful the day was and feeling a subtle joy that was strange to her. She drove home to Salem knowing she would visit again.

Although Laura did not move to Oakport she visited often. She made some friends there and became part of the informal community of our Divine Mother. Eventually she had the privilege of sitting at table with Mary Coultier at the cafe fantastique. And Laura tried to attend the evening performances of the singer songwriters inspired by their devotion to Divine Mother.

Laura continued from time to time to have lunch with her brother. They were mostly entirely in silence but she did not feel uncomfortable. She now had great respect for her brother and had the strong sense he was a mystic.

Laura did not know her future but she had rejected the realm of sexual relationship which she now thought of as a hideous game people were trapped in. She also rejected marriage as some sort of cruel deception necessary for procreation. Although there must be a better way she did not know of it. She carried a residual low level grief that motherhood seemed impossible. However mostly she felt liberated and deeply grateful to have discovered her Divine Mother. Sitting in a chapel, at times she felt immersed in love from Divine Mother. Although this wonderful grace dissipated while in the world, it never entirely left her.

Although the people who composed the informal community of our Divine Mother were all growing in their capacity for grace, there also grew a longing for life with less limitations from being in the world. The wisest among them knew however that the limitations of the world mirrored the remaining limitations within each soul. The purgatory of living in the world required persistent acceptance of transcendence of one's self in the world. Those who had the greatest capacity for transcendence had the greatest compassion. Compassion is much more than sympathy or empathy, and in fact compassion might look to others sometimes like cold detachment.

The angels of Divine Mother responsible for those within the informal community of our Divine Mother centered in Oakport knew that eventually they would have the opportunity to coalesce into a community with more intertwined participation. A community with enough capacity for the extensive amount of Divine Love and Wisdom necessary to live separate from the vast limitations of society and the world. Both individually and collectively they were in the purgatorial process of spiritual awareness development that at some point facilitates the substantial evolution of their patterns of participation in the world.

Thus a few servants of the informal community of our Divine Mother were motivated by the angels to prepare the dwelling place for the future sanctified community. George Peterson primarily but others would help in its building.

George finally thought he found the land for the future community but he couldn't make such a momentous decision by himself. So he purchased from the owner a 6 month option to buy the land. He then communicated with Angelina who was a defacto leader of the community for help. Two months later a group of seven from Oakport arrived in Omaha. Two weeks later in two recreational vehicles they traveled to the land and camped out on it for a month.

In only a few days they they had consensus that indeed this was the site of the future community. But it took several weeks to discover what it would look like and how to proceed building it. Also it was an opportunity to learn how to intuitively relate to each other, as there would be a lot of work to do and decisions made that would require high levels of capacity for spiritual guidance as a group not just as individuals. In other words they were the beginning of the new community, an evolution of spiritual and social community that relative to the world would be almost utopian.

The community of our Divine Mother in western Nebraska was called New Oakport. Although a small town it was legally a religious cooperative. Only members lived there and new members were selected by spiritual evaluation by a committee of elders. However although most residents were from eastern Massachusetts, many were from other states and some from Canada and Mexico. By the time New Oakport was ready for people to live there, the informal community of our Divine Mother had grown beyond Oakport and the greater Boston area. With great hesitation and after extensive prayerful contemplation of the development, Mary gave a talk at the cafe fantastique that she permitted to be recorded. The video was blurry but the audio was clear. It was soon made available on the website maintained by Angelina Montebello that was composed mostly of people's description of their awareness and experience of Divine Mother. Some people wrote or talked about their experience of their time at table with Mary Coultier. Some people described their experiences at the chapels of Our Divine Mother; which sometimes inspired other people to start to pray to Our Divine Mother also. So increasingly over the years the informal community of our Divine Mother grew and included people who had no idea where Oakport even was.

Although the patterns of life in the community of our Divine Mother in New Oakport were highly unusual relative to modern society (but perhaps not that unusual relative to premodern societies), what was much more important than what was observable was what was invisible.

Very high levels of capacity for spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Divine Mother were crucial for the existence of the community. The patterns of life in community flowed from that common capacity for spiritual awareness. Life in community could not be organized and followed as if institutional patterns of life in society. Even if the form of all buildings and infrastructure were copied completely it would not be possible for others to live in community similar to the community of our Divine Mother in New Oakport.

03 New Oakport

In the middle of nowhere was the the complex of buildings known as New Oakport.

In the middle of the vast grasslands of western Nebraska.

Each building looked like a 19th century brick factory building.

Inside the apartments, offices, classrooms, workshops, etc. almost looked like they were from centuries past except some modern technology could be seen. People's clothing also looked old fashioned and perhaps a little crude.

Each building was connected to each other so one could stay inside and walk to every building. Winters in Nebraska are brutal. No one used a vehicle to get around. The amount of energy used per person was a fraction of that used in modern society. Some buildings were greenhouses and most of the food was grown there. Most clothing, furniture, even many of the tools were made in workshops in the buildings of New Oakport. The technology was partly modern but much was the same as that used centuries before.

The community of Our Divine Mother was a cooperative. The cooperative owned the land and the buildings and the infrastructure. On 5 square miles of grasslands was the complex of buildings, agricultural fields, and wind mills. The wind mills were shorter and wider than the tall white towers most people know of. The towers at New Oakport were constructed of brick, and within them were high racks of heavy weights connected to cables. The cables were attached to a system of pulleys and gears. The wind power was not converted into electricity but was used to raise the weights within the tower. Which then in a controlled descent were used to power machinery and pumps. There was a system of pipes in each building in which water circulated from the roof to deep in the ground. This moderated the interior temperature both winter and summer.

Moving cables ran underground from the windmills to the other buildings to lift weights in a center space the height of each building (apx 45 to 75 feet). Thus every building had its own independent source of power for pumps and machinery. However people in New Oakport had a lifestyle that had much less need for either electric or machine power. Hand tools and just the use of human lifting of buckets, bags, and boxes in the tasks of life reduced the late modern reliance on machinery for the tasks people could do. Since people could walk everywhere and push hand carts for the transport of stuff and walked up and down stairs carrying things, human energy replaced much of the need for the energy most late modern people require.

What made it possible for New Oakport to use such unorthodox systems of reinvented older technology was that they were not ruled by the principles of maximum efficiency and commercial viability. The systems of technology used in New Oakport were neither offered to nor obtained from the commercial market. What guided the use of technology was its value to New Oakport, not its value in the market place. The use of wind power would probably be laughed at by engineers who would see unacceptable loss of energy along the system. But wind power in New Oakport was more than sufficient for the needs of New Oakport.

Natural prairie grass was broken down by grinders and enzymes into mash and fermentation produced alcohol for fuel. Waste from the process was added to compost for fertilizer. The agricultural fields grew crops used for fiber or grain; most plants for food were grown in green houses. All waste was composted including human waste. Most materials used for clothing, packaging, furniture, almost anything, were natural materials. It was obvious to some that New Oakport was very similar to how the shaker communities of the 19th century must have been.

New Oakport was an intensely religious community. Only because of how high was the level of presence of Holy Spirit from Divine Mother within the community could such a high level of cooperation and indeed chaste love exist in New Oakport. Thus there was no need for coercion of any kind. Most important, children experienced such love. Thus their adoption of the customs of the community was natural and without resentment. Amazingly, this included the expectation of celibacy. What late modern people think is normal was rejected by people in New Oakport not because they were repressed, but because they were liberated from compulsions normal in society.

Thus New Oakport was unavoidably an elite spiritual community.

Those who were accepted as members of the cooperative were already at a high level of holiness. Very few people had the inspiration and motivation to join. There were however many other people who had some level of awareness from Holy Spirit from Divine Mother. And they composed the larger dispersed diverse community of Our Divine Mother in the world.

Omaha

Many people from all over America who had some awareness from Holy Spirit from Divine Mother moved to Omaha. Because the planning for New Oakport was done from Omaha, people responsible for the creation of New Oakport had come to live in Omaha. Mostly they came from Oakport and had a high level of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. For it was in Oakport that such a community originated. After some years communication of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother spread across America via internet. When news of the the move of some of the community from Oakport to Omaha became known, it inspired some people to also move to Omaha. As the community of people who had some spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother developed in Omaha, more were inspired to move there.

Frank had moved from Denver to Omaha. He gave up a well paying job and borrowed against his retirement fund so as to open up the cafe fantastique deux on Dodge street in central Omaha. The original cafe fantastique in Oakport was well known by the dispersed community of awareness of Our Divine Mother. Frank hoped his new cafe fantastique deux would be an informal gathering spot for the community in Omaha. Two evenings a week singer songwriters inspired by Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother performed. There was no other space for the community other than friends going to each other's homes. And for a while that was the major way the community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha coalesced. And indeed people who developed such friendships within the community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha were very grateful they had moved there. When the cafe fantastique deux opened there was much enthusiasm for it and it became an important place for the community.

Oakport

During the years in which much of New Oakport was being built, Mary Coultier remained in Oakport. She still sat at table afternoons at the cafe fantastique. Her reputation only grew over the years and people came from increasing distances to have a chance to sit at table with her. Cafe fantastique often reached capacity and often people did not get a chance to be with her at her table. But even sitting at another table people had some experience of darshan, that is the presence of Holy Spirit emanating from a saint.

More people were also visiting the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport. A few reported miracles of healings. Thus the chapels of Our Divine Mother became a place of pilgrimage. Oakport developed a reputation of being a sanctified place. This encouraged several alternative healers to offer their services from an office or storefront space in Oakport. Hotels from Salem to Gloucester started to gain guests who traveled far so as to visit Oakport.

There was no organized church community of Our Divine Mother in Oakport or Omaha. However prayer to Our Divine Mother was adopted by an increasing number of people over the years. Some people of wealth who visited the chapels of Our Divine Mother gave large contributions to the building fund of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother in Nebraska. The website for the informal community of Our Divine Mother communicated about the project and its progress. Although George Peterson provided the very large amount of money required to buy the land and begin the project, it could not be built without additional substantial ongoing financial resources.

As Oakport continued to gentrify in the 21st century, it also increasingly became a small center of alternative healing and spirituality. George Peterson had sold his estate which he had inherited decades before. Unknown to him the new owners were a wealthy middle-aged couple who had plans to convert it into a resort spa. Although they had to put their plans on hold as their focus turned to rescuing their adult daughter from an abusive relationship unfortunately bound up by addiction to alcohol. After several years she was on the path of recovery. The torturous experience forced the whole family to have an intense spiritual focus. So when the couple turned back to focus on the project in Oakport, they significantly altered its purpose.

The Atlantic inn was a place for retreat from one's circumstance and perhaps spend time in contemplation. The rooms were comfortable but not luxurious. The onsite restaurant served good healthy food but not sumptuous. There was a small wood paneled bar but it didn't serve fancy cocktails. A number of walking trails led from the property including one that led to the crest of North hill where there were a number of benches with views of Essex bay.

A shuttle bus went back and forth between the Atlantic inn and downtown Oakport frequently. Most of the guests at the inn came to the chapels of Our Divine Mother most everyday they were in Oakport. The Atlantic inn on their website prominently featured photos and descriptions of the chapels. Implied was that guests who wanted to visit the chapels would want to stay at the inn. Subtly implied was that people who did not want to visit the chapels would not want to stay at the Atlantic inn.

The Atlantic inn had a large room called the library. Although there were a few bookshelves with spiritual books available, the room was a good place for quite contemplation. There was also a large cafe with plenty of tables to sit at for hours if one wanted to. Thus although there was no formal spiritual program, the Atlantic inn was a good place for a spiritual retreat. Plus there was a lot to do in Oakport. From yoga classes to personal healing sessions to psychic readings, Oakport offered much to those who could afford it. There are those who critique the upper middle-class no matter how they spend their money. But pursuing a spiritual path ultimately benefits others; and is often embarked on because one's world is full of suffering.

Roberta Woodson was distantly related to George Peterson. Family lore mentioned a Marian Peterson whose maiden name was Woodson. She was George's mother. But she left the estate after her divorce from George's father. So when Roberta and her husband were looking for a property on the coast somewhere north of Boston, when a broker mentioned the property she jumped at the chance to see it. Both she and her husband loved it and offered asking price.

Roberta Woodson loved her daughter much. But when Linda started to get entrapped in a life of suffering, Roberta's anguish was coupled with helplessness. She was at a complete loss. Only reading other's accounts kept her a little in the world. Mostly they confirmed her helplessness, but a few accounts of a long road out of hell gave her a little hope. Because so many parents described their prayer life as a source of comfort, Roberta tried to pray but she had nothing, no shred of faith to start from. But because some people mentioned the rosary with special devotion, she bought a string of rosary beads and recited the set of prayers without any belief.

Eventually moments of relative grace developed for Roberta.

Linda knew her parents would pay for as many months in a top rehab facility as necessary.

So there was little else for Roberta to do but wait and worry.

Hesitantly at first but increasingly Roberta petitioned Mother Mary to keep Linda safe.

Slowly Roberta's disbelief decreased enough that belief in the reality of Mother Mary increased. But her faith didn't include faith in Catholicism or Christianity. She had some experiential faith in Mother Mary and Her alone.

Although they had no motivation to do anything about the property they bought a few months before they learned about the extent of the trouble their daughter was in, Roberta and her husband John visited the former estate a few times a month. It was a place of refuge removed from their home where their children grew up in. It felt like an indulgence to try and forget, but truth was there was nothing they could do anyway. So a little guiltily they enjoyed being at the estate and exploring Oakport.

Although Roberta and John had walked by the chapels of Our Divine Mother, they never felt like entering. Until one afternoon about 9 months after Roberta had been praying the rosary, as they were walking by Roberta had a strong feeling of wanting to enter. John resisted, if truth be told he was afraid, so they arranged to meet at a cafe later. Roberta felt a mixture of trepidation and enthusiasm. She entered and circled the halls a couple times before she entered one of the interior chapels. She was alone. The interior was dark with dramatic lighting upon a space several feet in front of a few rows of wooden chairs. Within the lighted space was a low dark wood table upon which was an elaborately carved yet slightly abstract statue of a woman. She was of walnut wood about five feet high, but placed on the table she was significantly higher than someone sitting, which is what Roberta had done immediately upon entering.

Although Roberta thought she should start praying the rosary, she was too overwhelmed to think. She looked upon the sculpted woman, who was glowing in the relatively dark space. Colors that were not there seemed to emanate from Her. Obviously She was Divine Mother. At the time in the chapel Roberta did not think about whether She was Mother Mary or not.

Roberta felt a strong presence, a quiet power in the chapel, but a calm subtle joy. Roberta did not then have doubt but she began to feel weak. A soft gentle woman's voice in her mind told her it was fine for her to leave.

Thankfully there were chairs along the wall of the hallway. Roberta had to recover from such a mysterious experience as well her eyes needed to adjust to the brighter light. She had to get back to the planet earth from some place she didn't understand but which affected her more deeply than she would have thought possible.

When Roberta met up with John later she could barely talk. Her mind was inward but not necessarily with much meaningful thought, just meandering thought and memory and feeling. She walked unusually slowly after leaving the chapels and had spent more time recovering sitting in the hall than the time she spent inside the chapel. Her husband while waiting was starting to get worried and when she walked into the cafe she looked strange. She assured him she was ok but remained quiet and distant. John had to accept he would have to wait to discover what happened to her.

Lexington

At her home in a suburb of Boston, Roberta began to spend much time looking at the website of the informal community of Our Divine Mother. She read the written accounts of people who had spent time at the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport, or viewed the videos some people made talking about their experiences. She became aware of the close association of Mary Coultier with the people of the informal community and learned of how some people had the privilege of meeting her at the cafe fantastique. Many recounted their profound experiences of briefly being with Mary. And Roberta was astonished to learn that George Peterson was the founder of the chapels of Our Divine Mother. That she and her husband had bought the estate belonging to him just seemed too incredible. All she was learning was evidence for her faith in Our Divine Mother and she had a shared understanding with others that Mother Mary was the same as Our Divine Mother; that the patriarchal Christian churches could not accept the full divinity of Our Divine Mother and could only accept Her as a lesser Divine being as Mother Mary. The protestant church rejected Her completely.

Several months after Roberta's first of several visits to the chapels of Our Divine Mother, Linda entered a residential rehab. Although Roberta and John were extremely relieved at this change, they knew it would not be easy for their daughter and much uncertainty persisted. Roberta continued to pray for her daughter. She had much more faith than a year ago and was grateful to Our Divine Mother for the recent favorable development. The horror of Linda's past suffering was difficult to contemplate.

John McCloud was always deferential to his wife. To be honest it was the major factor in how he gained and kept the love of such a magnificent woman. He was not a loser by any means, but his success in life had as much to do with how well he got along with people as it was about diligence and intelligence. But he had not been a man of faith since his disillusionment with the church he grew up in. He could not believe their fundamentalist faith. A 6000 year-old earth was impossible for him to accept, as well as other preposterous beliefs. His parents were good people, the people of the church were not bad. But John could not maintain a pretense of agreement with the church.

John knew emotionally he was dependent on Roberta. He loved her just a little too much but had learned over the years to find an inner place of peace distinct from his relationship with her. He had some hobbies which were a form of defacto meditation. He painted landscapes. Meticulous depiction of detail took much time; that was the point; it was a way to escape worry and futile churning of the mind over that which one had no control.

John marveled at Roberta's experience at the chapel and was glad for her in her growth of faith. But he personally could not join her; he could not adopt her experience as his own. However eventually he would discover faith in Our Divine Mother for himself. Not until after his daughter did so.

After 3 months at the residential rehab, Linda came home to live with her parents. She felt safer there than at a half way house. There were stories of people relapsing at them and she was very wary of people her own age. When people got sober they didn't necessarily give up the games of sexual seduction. And in her experience sexual codependancy and substance abuse were inextricably linked. Linda was incredibly grateful her mother found faith. Only a higher power rescued Linda. Only when she had been extremely broken by the relentless hell of her former life was she willing to surrender to a higher power. That was the only reason she couldn't accept her parents help earlier. No one who has a secular worldview could understand this. And Linda did not understand it until after a few weeks of being in the strange world of the program. She was grateful to her parents for such a wise and wonderful place with the most compassionate people. But the road out of hell contains much suffering also. Becoming conscious of what was partly unconscious while it was happening is at times almost unbearable. But the Holy Spirit is always there to guide one through it, often by the ministry of some of the most amazing people she had ever met.

The day finally arrived when John drove to the residential rehab and took Linda home. Roberta was too upset for some reason to make the trip. When Linda entered the house Roberta cried uncontrollably for a few minutes. When she hugged her daughter she cried:

" forgive me Linda, forgive me! Thank God you are safe! "

When both Linda and Roberta sat down, John served everyone ice tea before he sat a little distant from them both. This was a bit of drama he was perplexed by.

Linda was crying a bit also. She did feel safe after a long torturous journey.

"Why mom?"

" Linda my darling I know I failed you as a mother. Don't be polite and protest. My faith has allowed me to learn much. I had no idea of the polite hell I have lived until I had been lifted a little closer to heaven. "

Linda said nothing but a slight smile betrayed her agreement.

Roberta felt permission to continue.

" although I couldn't help you I read a lot of books on recovery, both from alcohol abuse and codependancy. Although I was trying to understand your situation, it began to dawn on me that children are codependent with their parents. Parents can be unconsciously dominant and dependent on the submissive love of their children. If adult children succeed in life the past can remain unexamined. But your hell forced me into my own. And my faith has allowed me to recognize that which is too painful otherwise to acknowledge. So I acknowledge it and ask for your forgiveness. "

Linda was overwhelmed. She had never expected such self knowledge from her mother.

" of course I forgive you! We are all lost souls looking to find our way home. I am grateful we are both on a similar path in a similar direction. Perhaps we can help each other. "

They both laughed, and Roberta's relief was immense.

Roberta continued to pray fervently for Linda's ongoing recovery. Linda attended local support groups and got a part time job at a clothing store in town. Linda was committed to avoiding relapse. And for her that meant increasing her spiritual devotion. But without a clear personal understanding of spirituality, Linda spent many hours a day reading. She rejected having a social life. She feared it could easily become something that eventually led to disaster. And outside of a formal support group, she had little interest in chatting with other sober people over coffee. This was just a personal choice and not a judgment of others, although she knew some judged her a little for maintaining that much solitude. Some thought social isolation was emotionally unhealthy. However Lisa felt her vulnerability was as much to entrapment in codependancy as entrapment in alcohol abuse. Thus like abstention from use of alcohol or other mind altering substances, abstention from participation in relationships or even friendships was necessary.

Atlantic inn, Oakport

By the time work began on renovations to the old Peterson estate, built by Jacob Peterson in 1897, Roberta Woodson and Linda Woodson had discovered each other as spiritual sisters, children of Our Divine Mother. They were both committed to serving Her and Her children.

When Roberta Woodson married John McCloud he had known that she would keep her own last name and that their future children would have her name and not his. She knew too many divorced mothers who were forced to keep the last name of their ex husband just so as to have the same last name as their children. To Roberta this was unconscionable, and the solution was obvious if unorthodox. However it took foresight and willingness to consider that divorce was a possibility for anyone, and not just for someone else. Fortunately John and Roberta went the distance, but there were no guarantees. John being an open minded man had agreed and saw it was a sensible precaution. It was exactly that John was able to transcend archaic patriarchal assumptions that insured Roberta loved him and was grateful to him.

After his daughter accepted faith in Our Divine Mother, John's capacity for spiritual empathy grew larger than his persistent penchant for rationality. He went to the chapels of Our Divine Mother and had an epiphany that overruled his common sense.

Although the Atlantic inn would offer accommodations to the public, some subtle aspects of a monastery would affect the quality of the experience of being there. This was intentional and yet had to be balanced against the expectations of its guests. But the purpose of the inn for the owners was unambiguous. To facilitate the discovery of Our Divine Mother by people and provide a place where they could deepen their awareness. Most important of course was that the inn was close to the chapels of Our Divine Mother. But also the inn must provide an atmosphere conducive for prayer, contemplation, and reflection. But it could not be too austere, it could not be uncomfortable. People who were guests at the inn were not disciplined monks but regular people exploring and developing their spiritual awareness mostly on their own.

Linda worked the front desk at the inn. She declined the role of manager because she didn't want to be anyone's boss. But she lived at the inn and had some level of responsibility. She spent a lot of time in prayer and developed some capacity for direct inspiration from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. Informally she sometimes was a spiritual counselor for guests. Then she had a strong sense of spiritual service. However as the face of the inn, the front desk was important in the subtle communication of spiritual purpose for people being at the Atlantic inn Oakport.

One day in late spring a woman arrived on the shuttle bus with a small travel bag and went to the front desk. She was a little older than Linda's mother; there was something strange and a little wonderful about her. Linda smiled fully at her:

"Welcome to the Atlantic inn; how may I help you?"

" hello, I would like to stay three days. "

When Linda found out the woman's name, she was in shock.

It was Mary Coultier.

Neither Roberta nor Linda had ever before met Mary Coultier.

They knew about her and much about people's experience of being with her at the cafe fantastique. However neither of them wanted to go seek her out. They knew more people were trying to meet her than those who actually got the chance. But for some unknown reason Mary had come to the Atlantic inn, and Roberta was coming to the inn the next day. Linda saw Mary to her room and did not engage with her out of deference towards a woman of such reverence. However Linda implored Mary that if there was anything that Mary might need to please let her know.

The next morning after having a light breakfast at the restaurant, Mary Coultier sat in the cafe with a cup of tea. The cafe used ceramic mugs bought from local potters so they were beautiful and individually distinctive. The cafe had large windows facing northwest and the view was of trees and glimpses of Essex bay. There were a few other people in the cafe who did not know her. But when she glanced over at a couple older women and smiled, one of them got up and approached her table not quite knowing why except for a strong sense of curiosity. Mary asked her if she wanted to sit at the table and join her. Gladys introduced herself and was shocked upon hearing the name Mary Coultier. So they both sat in silence for a couple minutes. Gladys was uncomfortable at first but then a wave of grace descended upon her. She looked out the windows more than at a slightly smiling Mary. Finally Mary softly spoke to her:

" my dear, you no longer really need your husband who has passed into the greater beyond. The dawn of the age of women has arrived. Take what you have and share it. If you have a spirit of service especially younger women who are carrying more grief than is obvious will need any grace you can channel from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. You are here to visit the chapels; You will receive what you can give. May Our Divine Mother bless you! "

Gladys smiled and replied, " thank you ".

After a moment she returned to her table and simply said to her intently curious friend, "wow".

Mary continued to sit at her table. A server brought her a fresh cup of tea and a whole grain scone. After a while Linda and her mother walked into the cafe but stayed near the open doorway. Mary looked at them and gestured but Linda left the cafe and Roberta went over to Mary's table and after hesitating sat down. Mary smiled and spoke first.

" hello my dearest friend who I have not previously met."

Roberta melted with quiet joy and slight embarrassment. Mary continued,

" the Atlantic inn is a great gift to the children of Our Divine Mother. Let me express my gratitude to you and your family for creating this wonderful place for those on pilgrimage to the chapels of Our Divine Mother. "

Roberta, " oh my! That is exactly how I thought of its purpose. "

Mary, "let me be clear about my purpose for being here. Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother wants me to minister to some of those who come here. As you may know there are many people who seek to see me at the cafe fantastique. More than I can meet with or even there is room at the cafe for. So many are discouraged. To be honest, not all who try to meet me are at a similar place on their spiritual journey. Only some are at the point where they can enter the chapels of Our Divine Mother. However it is those who are a priority for Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother to be with by my being with them. I am at the cafe fantastique most afternoons but I would like to come to this cafe several mornings a week."

Roberta looked worried, " forgive me but will increasing your ministry not increase the burden on you? "

Mary smiled for more than a moment. " thank you so much for your concern. No, as the years have passed my capacity for spiritual service increases and it gets easier. I am also on a journey closer to heaven and thus gain more grace and capacity to channel grace. The problem is that as my reputation has grown the capacity for grace of those seeking my presence has decreased on average. There is still great purpose for my being at the cafe fantastique; however the opportunity here is greatly appreciated. "

Roberta, "what a blessing for you to be here! Whatever you need please don't hesitate to ask for. Of course we cannot charge you for anything!"

Mary, " thank you. I have much joy in our shared commitment to Our Divine Mother. Her Holy Spirit is very much here. "

Roberta felt such presence. " yes it is such a blessing to have this inn. Indeed the presence of Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother is here. And it is a marvelous blessing you are here. Thank you so much! "

They both continued to smile at each other before Roberta got up and went to tell her daughter the good news.

Omaha

George Peterson had left Oakport before renovations started on his former home. He knew plans were on hold for some reason during the time he lived in a much smaller house in downtown Oakport. But his purpose in selling the ancient family estate was because he was planning to take a trip in a campervan to Nebraska and spend much time looking for the land for the future New Oakport. But first he had to set up base camp in Omaha. So he bought a small house in central Omaha and stayed long enough so as to set up an office for the future community of Our Divine Mother. Some organization had to exist which could own the land and prepare for building on it eventually.

After the purchase of the land about 2 years after he came to Nebraska, George stayed in Omaha. The Cooperative Community of Our Divine Mother was now a growing organization that had responsibility for building New Oakport. George hired a staff, some of whom were from Oakport and wanted to work on the project. The board of directors were from Oakport and only a few had moved to Omaha. Himself, Angelina, and Laura Fieldstone. Angelina and Laura were full time consultants to the professional staff who were hired knowing that they must consult constantly with Laura and Angelina so as to fulfill the purpose of the community. The board of directors were also considering communication from people in the informal community of Our Divine Mother. People from Omaha, Oakport, and elsewhere might or might not have useful ideas and insights. Laura and Angelina were in frequent consultations with the other board members still living in Oakport. George would stay at the building site and monitor its progress. The active board members listened to the staff and were always tactful and appreciative of their work. Often they had to urge people not to rush their work. There was no profit motive nor focus on efficiency. Quality of work was important as well as avoiding stress for those working on the project.

Nebraska

A few months before the official purchase of the land, a group of seven people had traveled from Oakport to Omaha where they met George. They all got into two crew cabin pickup trucks each hauling a large air stream trailer and drove to the land George had obtained an option to purchase. There they camped for a month. Although quickly agreeing this was the land for the future community, they spent weeks reaching consensus on how it should be built. It was that set of ideas that formed the basis for the plans that developed for the building of New Oakport.

The plans and designs for the infrastructure took three years to complete before it began to be built. It was then that the architectural plans and designs for the individual buildings were done. The brick windmill towers were built first since the windmills were the basis for much of the infrastructure. Twelve years after the decision to purchase the land was made by the group camped out on it, New Oakport received its first arrival of residents.

Everyone who lived in New Oakport, which was the same as the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother, knew what a tremendous gift it was. Thousands of people donated together hundreds of millions of dollars in order for it to be built.. Only some of them chose to live there. The people who donated often a significant portion of their wealth for the building of the cooperative community did not do it because they necessarily knew and loved the individuals of the community, but because they loved Our Divine Mother and therefore loved the community being created by Her Holy Spirit. The benefactors appreciated the informal community of Our Divine Mother of which they were part of. And they made substantial contributions out of the motivation for a more integrated community of Our Divine Mother to be brought into the world.

The cooperative community of Our Divine Mother was matriarchal. The largest residential apartments contained four or five women and up to five children. They were a family and shared in the care of their children. The birth mother had a special bond of course and physically nursed her baby, and longer than most modern mothers. But she was well cared for by the other women. Getting enough sleep was never a problem. Each building had its own spaces for group child care and play groups as well as small schools. School was nothing like the schools most people are familiar with. Sitting still was not enforced and most learning had some element of activity. Academic subjects were not emphasized. Computers had made most of 20th century assumptions about academic learning archaic. The cooperative community of Our Divine Mother was by far not the only group of people who were focused on recovering lost ways of knowing reality.

Adults maintained celibacy with rare exceptions for the purpose of bringing new life into the world. The cooperative community of Our Divine Mother had more women than men. Only some men could accept living in matriarchal community. But those who did were incredibly grateful. The men were liberated from archaic patriarchal assumptions. Which were really a source of torment for most men in modern society not the least because of their inherent conflict with reality. In other words society had already made many patriarchal assumptions archaic. Thus archaic assumptions decay and become twisted to adapt to modern society; in many cases men's assumptions of who they are have become dysfunctional. For many men dysfunctionality persists and cannot be solved for. Thus suffering can only be escaped from by cultural distraction and or mind altering substance especially alcohol.

Atlantic inn, Oakport

John McCloud was often behind the bar in the small barroom at the Atlantic inn.

John was an informal counselor for men who were guests at the inn. Most often they were the reluctant husbands of women who had insisted on visiting Oakport and the chapels of Our Divine Mother.

A middle-aged man walked into the barroom of the Atlantic inn. Before he fully sat down on the bar stool he a little too forcefully asked:

"Please, knob creek straight, water back."

In a few moments John placed the glasses in front of him.

"Oh my God. Not sure I can make it. Try and be accommodating, but the boredom is almost insufferable. Oh, sorry Jack. Bad day."

" actually it's John. "

They both laughed.

" thanks for putting up with me, John. "

"No problem sir"

" No need to say sir. Alex is the name. Trying to be a good hubby is the game. But it doesn't come natural, and naturally she is upset with me all the time. She tries to muffle any open expression. No fun for her either. Another if you would be so kind. "

John poured another into the short glass, just a bit more this time.

" Thanks much"

After a couple moments he continued:

"The games rigged I tell you! Men and women have different interests, different understanding of reality for God's sake. Yet we're supposed to be together forever everywhere together. It doesn't make any sense at all."

Alex fell silent and stared at the bottles behind the bar as John moved away.

John offered a quiet solidarity with the few customers an evening who had to release a little frustration with their situation. It wasn't often a rant like that of Alex, who however represented how some other men might be feeling. The barroom was rarely a place for romantic rendezvous. As with many a semi public place, the frequent customers set the atmosphere by the dominant conversations. And although the Atlantic inn barroom didn't have the same people as customers beyond a few days, it had the same type of customers who needed to be there. As a defacto men's club it diffused a degree of common resentment that men carried when they felt obligated to do something that they would prefer not to. Thus many women have had no choice but to put up with a bit of subdued grumbling from their reluctant partner on some days of their joint journey through life.

The Atlantic inn was not a place for romance. Every room had two full sized beds. If someone asked if a room with one queen or king sized bed was available, they were politely told no. If they expressed great disappointment, they were referred to other motels in the area. It was more likely than not that couples experienced some distance from each other while at the Atlantic inn. For at its heart it was a monastery which is where people make an inward personal pilgrimage. To discover Holy Spirit inevitability requires discovery of psyche. One's pilgrimage is always through a bit of hell before a little grace from heaven is revealed. The journey to Oakport to visit the chapels of Our Divine Mother is inherently a pilgrimage. One's stay at the Atlantic inn indicates that the pilgrimage is serious.

Oakport

Although many who visited the chapels of Our Divine Mother had a profound experience, a few experienced an epiphany. Which was thus life changing. Their awareness was significantly altered and deep spiritual awareness was much more available.

The reality of Our Divine Mother was experientially certain. Much more certain than that of the world. Thus their participation in the world was from awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother more than common awareness of the world. Without choice they were servants of Our Divine Mother, but deeply grateful for the privilege and deeply grateful for the joy, love, and grace from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother!

04 Community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha

Oakport, Massachusetts

Linda Woodson grew into her informal role as spiritual counselor.

Only a fortunate few sat with Mary Coultier during each morning Mary came to the cafe at the Atlantic inn, Oakport. Working at the front desk, Linda was more available not only as far as time but also because people felt less intimidation with Linda than with Mary Coultier.

Mary could sense who had the courage to experience the spiritual intensity that being with Mary involved. Actually Linda did not have the courage to sit with Mary. Thus it was not necessarily how far along one's spiritual path that determined if one had the experience of being with Mary Coultier but if one needed to jump over a spiritual limitation and had the potential to do so.

Linda took time each day to visit the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport. Linda's communion with Our Divine Mother grew over time. This gave her increasing capacity to channel Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother which increased her efficacy as a spiritual counselor. It was the possibility of spiritual counsel at the Atlantic inn that solidified its reputation as the best accommodation for those making a pilgrimage to the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport. ( Oakport is a town on Essex bay north of Boston )

Unfortunately for Linda she would not be able to stay too long in a relatively comfortable place it might seem she deserved to be in. There seems to be a spiritual principle that forces people to move into the next level of development in which their ignorance and inability become experiential while previous gain of knowledge and ability are not as relevant.

When Linda Woodson moved to Omaha, her mother was forced to make a move herself. She and her husband moved into the Atlantic inn which they were the owners of. John McCloud retired earlier than he had planned from his career in Boston. They sold the house in Lexington and fully committed to the Atlantic inn. Roberta was at the front desk and John was everywhere else. He didn't replace anyone especially the manager, but he was observant and tactfully brought to the manager's attention matters to be taken care of. He also did things the manager delegated John to do that the manager was a little too busy to attend to. But John was also often just sitting various places at the Atlantic inn not doing anything. He was often in contemplation and prayer. Which is actually a necessary spiritual job.

Omaha

After weeks of incessant spiritual guidance while in prayer, that urged Linda Woodson to move to Omaha and contribute to the development of New Oakport, one morning she woke up with her own motivation to do so. So she communicated with the office in Omaha and enquired if they were hiring. They were, and they gave priority to employing those with devotion to Our Divine Mother. About a third of their staff were such. The office was in growth each year. The first stage of construction had started on infrastructure and the complexity of architectural design work on the project increased steadily. The board of directors wanted as much as possible to be done in house so as to better monitor the work and make modifications as often as needed. The whole project was going to evolve continually. This would make the process slower than normal business practices, but New Oakport was not a business, it was going to be home for many. Obviously people with expertise were working on the project. So coordination and consultation and discussion would be ongoing. To be crude it could be a mess if not managed well. Linda was hired as an office coordinator. She traveled to Omaha with not many possessions and stayed in a room of a group household of other women with devotion to Our Divine Mother.

More people were moving to Omaha. Almost all of the board members had moved from Oakport. Other people from Oakport and beyond Oakport moved as well. Only some of them worked at the office of the New Oakport Corporation, which was wholly owned by the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother. The board of directors of both organizations were mostly the same. But a few of the managers of the office sat in at some board meetings of the New Oakport Corporation.

Before the corporation existed, there was a strong shared vision for the group camping out in air stream trailers on the land that would become New Oakport. However getting from vision to a reality in the world was not going to be easy and not necessarily understood. It would take faith and openness to spiritual guidance plus the continual process of different people's awareness being integrated into a growing understanding of how to proceed. This was not just limited to the continual process of reaching consensus for the board of directors, but to some degree for the whole organization.

The building of New Oakport involved many from the informal community of Our Divine Mother. For many years before the the first people came to Omaha to build New Oakport, there was a dispersed community of individuals throughout America who knew of others by descriptions of individual experience posted on the website of the community of Our Divine Mother or perhaps a few friends who shared similar experience. In Oakport there was some gathering of some of the community at performances at the cafe fantastique. In Omaha people who came from all over America were gathering first as a loose network of friends and later at the cafe fantastique deux. But it was formal employment in the New Oakport Corporation that further drew some people together in shared service explicitly devoted to purpose from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. This purpose was originally shared by a small number of people. But as it became increasingly real in the world more people were participating in the shared purpose of building New Oakport. And necessarily that included people with no spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. Because even if their motivations were for gaining financial compensation, their contributions were necessary.

Importantly all the employees and suppliers and contractors were natural defenders of the reputation of the New Oakport Corporation and the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother, which only existed as an organization with considerable financial resources but not yet as a community in the world. What that future community would be like was impossible for anyone to know. Its home was being built before it actually existed; but it was the building process itself that partly contributed to the formation of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother.

western Nebraska

A small temporary town had to first be constructed to house the workers building New Oakport. Strong prefabricated modular units assembled and anchored to foundations dug and built with the pipes for water and sewer and conduits for electric power cables already put in place. Water was supplied from wells and supplemented by water tanks filled by water tanker trucks. Toilets were modern compost toilets but all other wastewater was treated before entering a septic system. Several large propane gas powered generators supplied electric power. Satellite dishes provided all modern communications. In other words in most ways the temporary town would be the opposite of the town being built for future habitation.

The building of New Oakport would take an unusual amount of labor. Thick brick walls in sometimes convoluted shapes would take a lot of workers a long time to build. By necessity workers without experience in brick laying would have to be trained and employed. Employees were hired from Omaha and after a month of training in Omaha they had enough basic skills to start work under supervision. With time and experience they could learn how to do more complicated work. Many of them were from the growing informal community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha.

The temporary town lasted a decade, but most workers stayed for shorter periods. Almost no work was done over the winter. Most workers had a schedule of 2 weeks on site and one week back home. While at New Oakport most worked 50 to 60 hours a week. Even including time off, overtime rates plus generous base rates of pay brought their earnings to double or triple what they could earn back home.

The purpose of building New Oakport was not necessarily to provide a model of sustainable technology. The irony was not lost to some people that it was taking a huge amount of unsustainable technology to build New Oakport. But in microcosm that is how contemporary society could evolve. What has evolved is necessary for what evolves in the future.

But the bigger purpose for building New Oakport was to provide a place for an intensely religious and spiritual community, the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother. Thus a spiritual community inherently partly inhabits a spiritual realm. It is not about a model of how a community could exist in the world while maintaining awareness common in the world.

What motivated people to make large financial contributions to the building of New Oakport was a shared spiritual focus with those responsible for the creation of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother.

Omaha

The organization of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother set up a spiritual school to serve some in the larger informal community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha. There needed to be some organized path in which people could progress towards being accepted into the future community. Thus the school would both help people progress and evaluate their progress. The people accepted into the community would be at a level of personal spiritual awareness high enough so they could contribute to and participate in the community. There were a lot of subtle paradoxes in the process. Spiritual awareness is inherently fluid. It cannot be reduced to a conceptual set of understanding. It is far from academic learning and it is not an easily verifiable set of skills. Spiritual awareness is amorphous and obscure.

Ultimately the Angels and Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother were responsible for bringing the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother into being. Thus each individual was being guided. True motivation to join the cooperative community was also from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. Otherwise common human awareness would block any ability to join such a community even if that person had wishful thinking that it would be a good place for them. Thus it was not too easy to join. One had to complete a program of apprenticeship first.

The empty bowl was a cafe with an oversize kitchen. There were many tables but only sometimes were they were mostly full. The cafe was not open to the public, it was only open to members of the apprenticeship program of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother. Functionally it was a cooking school but people were learning how to cooperate in how to cook and prepare meals for a dining hall such as would exist in a future New Oakport. People in the apprenticeship program ate most of their meals there.

In the same building as the empty bowl were workshops. Those in the apprenticeship program learned how to spin linen yarn from flax by hand and to weave it into cloth on a hand loom. And they spent a lot of time doing it. A large aspect of being in the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother was doing mundane and what could be tedious tasks and learning to use that time as contemplation, meditation, or prayer. If one had little capacity for that then being in the cooperative community would not be possible. Not surprisingly more people dropped out of the apprenticeship program of the cooperative community than stayed.

The informal community of Our Divine Mother was growing in Omaha. Most of them had nothing to do with the development of New Oakport. But some worked at the office of the New Oakport Corporation, some went to work at the building site of New Oakport, and some were in the apprenticeship program of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother. Many went at times to the cafe fantastique deux and several performed there. Thus the intensity of community in Omaha was much greater than for the much larger number of people across America (and in other countries) who had some personal devotion to Our Divine Mother and perhaps at times looked at the website of the informal community. But year by year more of them were moving to Omaha.

The large community of people in Omaha who had devotion to Our Divine Mother contained a great diversity of people. Some were closely involved in the creation of New Oakport, and some not at all. People's personal patterns of life were very different. Some were poor and some were upper middle-class; some had a lot of friends and some were mostly in solitude. Some lived in group households and some lived alone. In other words they were mostly indistinguishable from other Americans in all their wide range of differences.

Oakport

Although the people building New Oakport were mostly working in Omaha and at the building site in western Nebraska, the people supplying the majority of the money necessary for the building of New Oakport mostly lived in New York and New England. That was where most people lived who made a pilgrimage to Oakport. Primarily to visit the chapels of Our Divine Mother but many went to the cafe fantastique in the hope of meeting Mary Coultier when she sat at her table there most afternoons. Although only some who made a pilgrimage to Oakport experienced something extraordinary, of those who were wealthy and had a life changing experience it was they who had the motivation to make substantial contributions to the building of New Oakport.

Thus indirectly but significantly, the ministry of Mary Coultier at the cafe fantastique in Oakport helped the building of New Oakport. It was the total informal community of people who had some spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother who contributed to the creation of New Oakport. Even those who had no direct participation or made no direct contribution were part of the obscure community of awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. Even those with less intense awareness than others.

Mary Coultier worked 3 evenings a week behind the counter of the cafe Bourgal which was located on Commercial street a couple hundred yards north of the cafe fantastique. Unlike the cafe fantastique which hosted live music in the evening, had a full bar and offered a menu of excellent food, the cafe Bourgal just served coffee, tea, baked goods, soup, and not much else. It was a place where people could sit and talk to friends and was often a meeting place before a group would go to a restaurant or music venue in town.

Mary did not counsel anyone at the cafe Bourgal and couldn't talk with customers beyond a few moments. However people would come to the cafe Bourgal just to meet her even if briefly. So there were a lot of people who had some spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother who spent time at the cafe Bourgal.

At one of the tables in the cafe sat a group of three.

John: " is it possible that awareness of Our Divine Mother can grow into a religion? It doesn't seem to be a religion now. But how could devotion to Our Divine Mother grow so large that it becomes an alternative to the Christian church unless we become a religion? "

Elizabeth: " it is impossible for it to become a religion because we are too different. Awareness of Our Divine Mother is more personal than what religion is. At least for me it is not even able to be put into words. It seems impossible to have a belief system or doctrine. It is doctrine and formulas to confessions of faith that I could not accept that drove me out of the church many years ago. "

a table at the cafe Bourgal

Robert: "our knowledge of the past is very limited, but traditional religion evolved from even older religion. Thus what evolves is probably already close to what people have accepted before. So the question is although many people have rejected traditional religion, is that rejection going to persist and spirituality will remain mostly personal, or after enough time has passed will people want to come together and find agreement in the same religious community?"

John: "yes, that's what I hope for. It seems close community fosters the greatest contentment in life. The argument against that is it can be oppressive. But I think that could depend on the level of goodness in the community."

Elizabeth: " Personally I am skeptical. Outwardly wholesome communities can have hidden oppression. Perhaps as a woman my awareness of how cheerful submission can look like happy cooperation makes me more skeptical. However some women have a radical idea of ideal community that is matriarchal and egalitarian. Some even mention something called the gift economy. But I doubt any men want to live in a matriarchal community. "

Robert: "traditional religion cannot be separated from traditional community. Not just the religious aspects of the community but all its social aspects. In America immigrant communities carried with them their traditional religion. However America decays the traditions of immigrant communities over the generations. There has been more possibility of choice. Catholics have become protestant and even some protestants have converted to Catholicism. And I believe church communities have become shallower with less bonds to any larger community which are themselves without much cohesion. In America everything is changeable and obviously many have rejected any traditional religion and explore all sorts of alternatives. This fluidity mostly prevents the solidification of religious community. So that would seem to apply to us who have discovered Our Divine Mother."

Elizabeth: " yes, it is just not possible. No one wants to go back in time and lose their freedom so as to belong to community even if there might be something good that has been lost. "

John: " its beginning to make sense to me now what is going on in this extraordinary effort to build New Oakport. Because it might be close to impossible to form community in this society as it is unless one makes an extremely unusual journey to achieve it. "

The board of directors of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother were mostly from Oakport and a few were from the greater Boston area. They had discovered Our Divine Mother either by first visiting the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport or by first having an extraordinary experience while sitting at the table of Mary Coultier at the cafe fantastique, and later visiting the chapels of Our Divine Mother. During their years of devotion to Our Divine Mother somehow they formed friendships with each other bound by a mysterious shared awareness of spiritual purpose, by a shared large capacity for inspiration from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother.

Omaha

The two people on the board of directors of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother who were held in highest esteem were George Peterson and Mary Coultier. However the chair woman was Angelina, she held the leadership position because she had the greatest capacity for the facilitation of consensus from the group. And it was agreed nothing would proceed without consensus. Several years after the purchase of the land, all the board except for Mary Coultier had moved to Omaha. And after another few years several people from Omaha had joined the board. By the time of the move of the first residents into New Oakport, additional members to the board from Omaha had doubled its size to 24, and by that time Mary Coultier had moved to Omaha.

When Mary Coultier moved to Omaha, the group who had been the board of directors of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother formally became known as the council of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother. For they were becoming responsible for a community of several hundred that would grow into a community of more than a thousand living in New Oakport. The council was increasingly devoted to the people of its community and less focused on the completion of New Oakport. Although the cooperative community owned the New Oakport Corporation, over the years the corporation's board of directors became composed of different people than those of the board of the cooperative community. In a word the cooperative had gained trust in the New Oakport Corporation to fulfill the purpose of the cooperative in the building of New Oakport. The leadership of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother turned all of its attention to the growth of the community in Omaha that would be moving into New Oakport. The facilities to serve the community in Omaha had grown to become something like a community college. Several small buildings were bought and renovated. Much time was spent in workshops learning and practicing the skills necessary for much of the day to day work of New Oakport. But it was the tedious work itself that was the training for being in New Oakport. It was the work that revealed if someone had some level of capacity for participation in the cooperative community. However that was only an aspect of what would be necessary.

It was George Peterson who had the original vision of building New Oakport when he was still living in his inherited estate in Oakport. It was not his vision but a vision given to him by Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. And angels gave him guidance as to how to proceed and encouragement to have faith. It was direct inflow from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother that gave him motivation and inspiration. But it was a previous few years of purgatorial suffering that enabled him to develop the emptiness necessary and capacity for such inspiration.

For even though George Peterson years before had the capacity for motivation and inspiration from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother great enough so as to be responsible for the creation of the chapels of Our Divine Mother, more capacity had to develop before he could begin to be responsible for the creation of New Oakport. Obviously others joined him in that responsibility, but he went out alone to Nebraska to look for the land and form the organization. However he was in communication with friends back in Oakport who were growing in motivation and inspiration to support such an incredible endeavour. When they traveled out to Nebraska and camped out on the land (in the comfort of two air stream trailers) to agree to its purchase, the month they spent there discussing how to proceed solidified the group of eight in a shared vision and responsibility for New Oakport.

Mary Coultier fully supported the vision for New Oakport. She was one of the original 8 people who visited the land that would become New Oakport. But upon her return to Oakport she had the least involvement in discussions about the project. Although she was a member of the board of directors of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother, in effect she said to Angelina to assume Mary would always agree with whatever discernment Angelina had.

Mary Coultier was the last member of the board to leave Oakport for Omaha. Although Mary did indeed have an attachment to Oakport, her reluctance was mostly because she foresaw her role in Omaha and resisted it. She knew that she would unavoidably become the guru of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother.

After 8 months of participation in the apprenticeship program of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother, apprentices were required to move into one of the group households of the cooperative community. For it was crucial that participants could cooperate with each other in the day to day life of a household. Some dropped out of the program so as to avoid such a move. It was stressed again and again that there was no dishonor in dropping out. The apprenticeship program was meant to reveal if one really had the motivation and capacity to live in the cooperative community of the future New Oakport. People had different ways to fulfill their purpose. And it was not inherently better to be part of the cooperative community.

One day in May a group of vehicles left Oakport for a two week trip through almost a dozen states visiting tourist towns before reaching Omaha. In one of the vehicles Mary was a passenger. When word got out that Mary Coultier was going to move to Omaha, others wanted to relocate also. Although not necessarily motivated to join the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother, they felt motivated to join the large informal community of Our Divine Mother who lived there. The development of New Oakport contributed to a degree of spiritual enthusiasm within the larger informal community even for those without any participation within the cooperative or in the building of New Oakport. Wanting to get closer to that enthusiasm was part of the motivation for people who decided to relocate to Omaha. And when Mary was making the move, many from eastern Massachusetts wanted to remain near to where she was. Especially those who once had the privilege of being with her for a few minutes at the cafe fantastique.

Massachusetts

Gladiola Fiorello had been retired from her architectural firm for a few years. She lived in Swampscot on the coast north of Boston. She had been divorced forever and her children when they became adults moved to the west coast seeking a better life than the one they grew up in. When her children moved away she had felt both guilty for the divorce and resentful at being abandoned. So she turned back to the church as a place of refuge. She was surprised to learn how much spiritual ministry there was for people returning to the Catholic church. Although mostly books and talks on cassette tape, she felt like she had returned home for a while. She immersed herself in the plethora of stories of saints, mystical writing, and religious art, and of course church architecture. Studying the architectural drawings of the great cathedrals occupied innumerable hours. After her focus turned to the church, mostly she forgot she was alone.

Evidently Gladiola had a latent capacity for mysticism. Ironically her immersion in centuries of Catholic culture led her on a path that diverged from the Catholic church in modern society. She unfortunately felt alone at Mass. She had no network of family and friends in the congregation and felt alienation from them, and that did not go away after a couple years after her return to the church. Sometimes she felt irritated by the priests who seemed to be performing the Mass as a repetitive task without spiritual focus. Of course she felt guilty about such judgement. But the contrast of her growing spiritual awareness while alone in contemplation of scripture or other religious culture, and her feelings of alienation while at an actual church service, forced her to be courageous and embrace the life of personal spiritual awareness development without participation in the institution of the church. Soon after she felt free to explore the writing of Catholic mystics at the edge of conformity with Catholic doctrine. Which eventually led to acceptance of personal spiritual experience without any limitations by doctrine and a conscious rejection of doctrine.

Several years after she left the Catholic church but remained intensely immersed in private prayer and contemplation, she received an unusual letter from a George Peterson who was looking for an architect to convert a former Catholic church building into a series of chapels devoted to Our Divine Mother. She wrote back immediately and stated she was immensely interested in the project. Gladiola prayed near continuously to Divine Mother that he would choose her as the architect, and to her great joy he did so. As soon as he met her at the church building he sensed Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother anoint her for the task.

Several years after beginning her retirement Gladiola was being urged while in prayer to move to Omaha. But she was very attached to her home and she greatly valued going to the chapels of Our Divine Mother a few times a month. In that she was not much different from many others who visited the chapels recurringly. That she had been the architect gave the experience intimacy perhaps unique to her. So it would be very difficult to leave proximity to Oakport. However the guidance became more persistent and started to interfere with her experience of prayer even at the chapels. Chronic frustration could only be solved by complying with the request from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother.

Omaha

Gladiola Fiorello bought a small house near cafe fantastique deux in Omaha.

She spent a lot of time at the cafe and unusually for her became friendly. She was curious about people and anyone who listens to others more than talks about themselves becomes a friend to many. Her curiosity was a little motivated by a search for understanding of what was the as of yet not known purpose for her being in Omaha.

Gladiola Fiorello was sitting alone at a table in the cafe fantastique deux in Omaha. Surprised she saw Angelina approach her table smiling.

Angelina: "hello, may I join you?"

Gladiola: " of course, good to see you. You look radiant as usual. "

They had previously met only a few times. Angelina sat down with her cup of coffee.

Angelina: " wonderful morning it is. Gladiola, when we had talked before a couple of months ago, you mentioned to me that you didn't know the purpose for your moving to Omaha. Well I know what it is. " Angelina was looking almost gleeful. Gladiola looked back at her in shock. After a moment of trepidation she replied.

Gladiola: "oh Divine Mother this is unbelievable, but I believe you are serious, ok, what is it?"

Angelina: "Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother requires you to be the architect for a modern large magnificent chapels of Our Divine Mother here in Omaha!"

The cooperative community of Our Divine Mother became concerned about the degree to which they were an elite spiritual community not available to most of the much larger informal community of Our Divine Mother. Even if spiritual, an elite community is going to evoke some degree of resentment by others outside of the community. Unfortunately this is going to be a development for those with more relationship to the elite community than for those who don't even know it exists. Thus it was a growing problem as more people dropped out of the apprenticeship program for joining the cooperative. The council of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother increasingly held discussions about the problem.

An understanding developed within the council that many in the informal community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha indeed had come to Omaha out of yearning for participation in spiritual community. Although they did find that available in Omaha, it was still at a lower level of being in community than some still yearned for. So naturally they looked to the cooperative community as what could provide that for them. Thus many suffered disappointment when realizing how difficult it was to join. Some knew that and didn't even try and join, but some tried and failed. It would not be an exaggeration to say some were heartbroken. Such grief yields self judgement or judgement of the source of rejection. So unfortunately the cooperative was accumulating increasing resentment from some of the informal community of Our Divine Mother. To be blunt this problem had to be solved and could not be ignored.

The solution was for the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother to provide another modality of community for people to participate in that did not require the high level of spiritual awareness and cooperative participation required for joining the cooperative. But something more than what was available within the loose unorganized informal community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha. The cooperative community was close to being a monastery; what people needed was something closer to being a church.

It was still not possible to create a church. The large diverse informal community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha did not have enough commonality of spiritual and cultural awareness to participate in the same expression of spiritual cultural awareness, which essentially is what a church service is. Diversity of personal awareness would have to be facilitated somehow. When Laura Fieldstone first mentioned the idea it was immediately apparent to all in the council it was the way forward, build a chapels of Our Divine Mother in Omaha. The excitement in the council was great. And other ideas were added. It was agreed to build a center of Our Divine Mother in Omaha including a large set of chapels of Our Divine Mother, and an auditorium for performances inspired by devotion to Our Divine Mother. Importantly those spiritual cultural expressions would be different and appeal to different audiences. If at some point there developed spiritual teachers inspired by devotion to Our Divine Mother, the auditorium would be a good place for such talks. And an art gallery for artists inspired by Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. Importantly participation at the center would not be a full time commitment. But working at the center might provide for some much participation and even immersion in community of Our Divine Mother. This would answer their yearning for community without the commitment of joining the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha and later in New Oakport.

The New Oakport Corporation built the Omaha center of Our Divine Mother. It was located on the outskirts of western Omaha.

After almost all of the design work for New Oakport was completed most of the work of the New Oakport Corporation was just actual building and construction in western Nebraska and the large office space in Omaha was much less busy. So it did not take much to devote a large section of the office space for this new project of designing and building the Omaha center of Our Divine Mother. Gladiola Fiorello was the lead architect and after working relatively by herself for almost a year was in charge of a small team that worked out the details. Unlike New Oakport, the architecture of the Omaha center incorporated a fair amount of modern elements, but the dominant aesthetic was of 19th century church architecture.

It soon became apparent to the council of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother that the Omaha center would take several years to complete. They needed something available relatively soon. So as Gladiola was working on the larger project other architects were working to quickly convert an old commercial building into a place of several chapels and a small auditorium. Nothing fancy, but as simply as possible repurposing the building. Second floor office spaces became chapels and the first floor retail space became a place for performance. Also on the first floor were workshops for people to learn stained glass making. The plan was to steadily supply stained glass panels to hang in front of the plain glass windows in the chapels. And those panels would be made by members of the community.

The Dodge street community center of Our Divine Mother was a separate organization from the cooperative. But the cooperative community funded them. The cooperative owned the building but the Dodge street center had full use of it. The office on the first floor was where decisions were made. There was minimal oversight by the council of the cooperative community. Relations between the council and the Dodge street community center were relatively good but it was not avoidable there was some resentment from the dependent organization. But it was mixed with gratitude and awareness of their shared devotion to Our Divine Mother. The office was busy managing the center and the volunteers that made it work. The community center did answer a need within the informal community of Our Divine Mother, and the council was grateful that they had discovered a way to serve the larger community of Our Divine Mother.

It took half a decade to build the Omaha center of Our Divine Mother. After it became known within the informal community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha that the council was planning to build a new chapels of Our Divine Mother and other facilities for the community, donations earmarked for the project were surprisingly numerous and some were surprisingly large. Many who moved to Omaha had extraordinary experience at the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport. Not just those who lived in Oakport or nearby, but those who traveled some distance to make a pilgrimage to the chapels. So many greeted the news that a new complex of chapels was being built with great joy. For many the makeshift chapels in old office spaces on Dodge street were not acceptable. That the lead architect was the same woman who created the original chapels gave many confidence the new chapels would be just as wonderful.

About 14 months after Gladiola started work, she and her team made available a computer generated representation of what the center would look like. The twenty minute video was viewed by most in the community and enthusiasm for the project increased. To be blunt the center would be for them. New Oakport was going to be only for the cooperative community which would be small relative to the larger informal community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha. Thus although the informal community in Omaha and through out America had generously contributed to the building of New Oakport, it would be mostly only a small group that would directly benefit. But motivation was from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother, so they made their contribution out of grace. Undoubtedly the Omaha center of Our Divine Mother would be a source of grace for many people.

05 Paul Fieldstone

Oakport

Paul Fieldstone stayed in Oakport as long as he could, but one day he got a notice from the landlord that the building was up for sale and it was almost certain a new owner would renovate the building. Thus it was necessary for all tenants to move out. The landlord realized this would be a hardship and so was giving the tenants up to 3 months rent free to find new quarters and vacate. Also 4 months rent payments were being returned to insure they could afford another rental somewhere else.

Although the landlord was being more generous than expected, it was still unwelcome news. It meant leaving Oakport because nothing else in town was affordable. But it was not that unexpected. There had been a steady slow exodus from Oakport of regular folk who weren't able to afford to stay. Many who worked in restaurants, cafes, and other local businesses were commuting from other towns as far away as Salem.

Paul Fieldstone decided to move to Kirkland. Although it was a successful tourist town it was before then almost a century ago a successful small city with much industry. So a lot of working class housing was built. Much of that barely renovated housing was still relatively available and affordable even though Kirkland had experienced an economic and cultural renaissance.

Kirkland

Paul got a job as a cook at Lucky's Diner. It was unusually large. 4 traditional looking diners were arranged in a square all connected to each other. Surrounded by sidewalks Lucky's Diner was its own city block. Each diner had a long row of tables with booth seating against the windows, and a long counter with swivel seats on the other side. In the middle of the four diners hidden from view was the main kitchen with pass through openings to all the diners which each also had its own grill upon which some cooking was done.

Lucky's Diner was busy during the first part of the 20th century, but with the decline of industry in the city during the post world war two era, eventually two of the diners were shut down. However with the revitalization of Kirkland in the last two decades of the 20th century, they were opened back up again. Lucky's was popular with everyone in Kirkland, town residents and tourists, relatively poor and relatively rich, those just having a cup of coffee and a donut, and those having a full dinner. The diner was open 24hours, and was often busy late at night with customers trying to sober up a bit after having a bit too much fun all evening in town. For there was a lot available in Kirkland, restaurants, bars and music clubs. All walking distance from each other and from the diner which was at the edge of the downtown. Across the street from Lucky's was one of several parking lots which most of the tourists used.

Paul loved Lucky's Diner. Because he could do his job without too much stress he worked a lot of hours. While concentrating on his work he could not think about anything else. He didn't worry about being alone in life or why he was alone or why women didn't like him. He knew he was different but had only partially accepted it. But he was a little aware that for many others being different was becoming more common.

More people were alone, more people weren't having children, more people were alienated from society, and more people were seeking alternative awareness, often spiritual awareness.

When he wasn't working Paul often sat at a table in the diner drawing in his sketch book or reading the newspaper but often casually looking at customers or out the window. The diner was a microcosm, its own world, that was small enough to be understood. The larger world was incomprehensible. Thus the world was a source of chronic anxiety. So it was necessary to ignore the world as much as possible.

Paul had an intense but intermittent prayer life, unfortunately prayer was only available when he gave up on his self in the world. Acceptance of emptiness of self awareness does not happen by choice, for the self cannot will itself to decrease. Self awareness decays unavoidably as conflict with larger reality is unavoidable. When self awareness realizes it is false, it implodes and dissipates, at least for some moments. Countless such cycles is how false self awareness slowly and incrementally decreases. Paul knew he was in purgatory, and that not understood forces were in control.

When Paul Fieldstone was in his apartment, he had to face the chronic low level grief of being alone. He had given up on solving for it by trying to be with people. Years ago when he tried to have a conversation with others intense anxiety cut short the conversation and he seldom tried to do that again. For all of his adult life he had no choice but to suffer loneliness. What did save his life was going to the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport. He missed going to the chapels after moving to Kirkland but recurring prayer to Our Divine Mother sufficed. He really didn't need the chapels as he used to.

Paul didn't draw from observation. He did slightly repetitive abstract drawing that helped in contemplation, that helped maintain detachment and a degree of emptiness. Outside of the focus of work, because awareness of his self in the world yielded low level chronic distress, Paul found ways to gain some detachment from the world. Sometimes he could read, and was grateful for any immersion in a book.

About a year after he moved from Oakport to Kirkland, Paul found an old book in a used book store. Its title was "Myth of Fredonia", written by old vagabond, probably a pseudonym. At home while reading the short book, his experience was profound. It answered questions he didn't know he had. It provided a model of an utopian community. For Paul, becoming aware of that model illuminated everything false about modern society and provided a hope for what could be far better. Paul knew the utopian vision could not be accepted by people in society. Nevertheless a source of hope is not about a realistic possibility, but about an experiential awareness powerful enough to displace the hopelessness of awareness of the world.

The reason Paul could be profoundly inspired by Myth of Fredonia was because his personal awareness was already relatively close to that of the book. For Paul god was Our Divine Mother, for Fredonia god was Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. There was an informal community of people in Oakport who had devotion to Our Divine Mother. Some of them had moved to Omaha and were working on developing a near utopian community in western Nebraska. Paul dismissed their attempt as futile and didn't know the details of what they were doing. However the idea of a cooperative community with intense devotion to Our Divine Mother was familiar to him. And his older sister was one of those who moved to Omaha to contribute to the effort. So he had some sympathy for their attempt.

It was his sister that helped him move to Oakport originally. In fact he was living in Kirkland at the time but he was worse off than he was now. Living in Oakport was indeed beneficial and he was grateful to Laura for her help.

The myth of Fredonia became for Paul a foundational spiritual awareness. Because he had an alternative to contemporary society, he could judge society as a failure. Thus society could not judge him, or that is to say Paul could reject society's judgment of him. In reality society didn't know Paul existed, but Paul could start to free himself from any self judgement derived from adoption of awareness patterns common in society.

But as Paul incrementally freed himself from societal derived self judgement it was just as necessary to incrementally gain spiritual awareness to fill the void. It seemed best to him that he pray directly to Mariatheos for grace. Mariatheos seemed a degree closer than Our Divine Mother and Mariatheos was the name of god in Fredonia, so he also was brought closer to the community spiritual awareness of Fredonia. Over months what was myth became experientially so real that Paul knew he had found his religion, in other words the cultural patterns of spiritual awareness that for him were intrinsic to all of his awareness, of everything, of himself and of reality, superior to any awareness of the world or society.

As far as Paul knew he was the only one who believed in the religion of Mariatheos.

However he was so familiar with relative solitude, that it did not bother him that he was not part of a religious community. Even if one existed it was still doubtful he could join. Because his alienation from people probably wouldn't go away even if others had the same religion.

However over the years Paul began to change. He had an intuition for a while that he might have to stop working for some reason before being eligible for social security. So he worked long hours, lived frugally, and saved as much as he could.

Although he did have some mystical awareness while living in Oakport, it didn't interfere with his day to day life. However in Kirkland it was slowly becoming a larger portion of his awareness. After a decade in Kirkland, he couldn't do his job anymore and had to quit.

For Paul Fieldstone, spiritual awareness of the utopian community of Fredonia was a portal into the mysterious spiritual realms. What he was experiencing could not be understood, but webs of moments of visual and emotional experiences were joined with visual and emotional awareness of Fredonia which was more able to be understood and was more familiar.

The incomprehensible webs of mystical experience led to some moments of immersion in Divine Love from Mariatheos. After a while it became certain to Paul that Love and Life continually emanated from Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. However that infinite generation of eternal universal Life and Love flowed through infinite patterns of existence; primarily through spiritual realms but eventually into the natural world, and also into humanity in the world.

Paul could not communicate what he experienced. There was no one to communicate to even if he could put his experience into words. But his notebooks of abstract drawings accumulated. Sometimes Paul would go to the diner in the afternoon when it was not as busy. He would draw and say hello to people he knew. Sometimes someone would sit down at the table and talk, and Paul would mostly listen.

Because Paul had much mystical experience, he was also psychic. But he knew that others were each in their own purgatory. Ignorance is intrinsic to purgatorial awareness development. Almost always there is no lack of information that hinders the process. To be crude he kept his mouth shut. However at times he was a messenger from spiritual realms. Then some force overcame his reticence and he blurted out something to someone sitting at his table. Usually this was a shock to the other; for not only was what Paul said unusual, it was unusual for him to say much at all.

One afternoon at the diner a middle aged woman who worked at the diner sat down at his table.

Rose: " Paul, my curiosity is getting the best of me. Hope you don't mind, but what happened to you? You were one of the best cooks we have had. No one knows why you quit. Did you have a nervous breakdown? Too much stress of working so many hours? "

Paul waited for a minute. "Not quite. It's difficult to explain. I just couldn't focus on the tasks at hand anymore. My mind traveled a little too far from the world. Not from substance use of any kind. Too be honest, too much prayer! This world is not the only reality. You go to church, maybe you might understand?"

Rose gently smiled. "God bless you. Yes, I understand. Perhaps you are a prophet. Perhaps the Holy Spirit has claimed you for a higher purpose. Well, got to get back to work. Good talking with you."

Paul: " thank you so much. Holy Spirit bless you! "

If Paul was to be a prophet, he had no idea how. At least so far he had no spiritual experience that would indicate such. However after his short conversation with Rose, his spiritual experience started to change slightly. He was getting guidance that he didn't understand but he followed anyway. He was being urged to travel out of Kirkland several days a week, usually by commuter rail.

Boston

A couple times a week Paul would take the train to South Station in Boston.

Usually he just walked around aimlessly for a few hours, usually buying a modest lunch somewhere. He would find places to sit, for at times he couldn't see as series of images ran through his mind. Brief visuals of different cities in different historical eras. He didn't try and understand what city or what era each was. Paul had long ago realized trying to understand his experiences would only yield frustration and confusion. Although he didn't understand usually he experienced some grace, so he accepted his unusual life; anyway he had no choice. However at seemingly random times he had a vision of Mariatheos, of extraordinary beauty, but always emanating different colors of light. In those moments the experience of love and vibrant life was exquisite.

Oakport

One day he was guided to get up unusually early and take the train to South Station. But instead of walking around Boston he was guided to walk through downtown to North station.

He took the train to Gloucester, and there he got on the bus to Oakport. He had not been to Oakport in over a decade. He had some anxiety and trepidation. But he was able to follow guidance, he had faith.

The shock of being in Oakport was immense. As soon as he stepped off the bus he walked the few blocks to the small harbor where he could sit on a bench and look at the water and the boats. But mostly he wasn't seeing the world but the visions within his personal awareness. Different harbors in different countries. Different types of people and different types of boats from different eras. At times colorful patterns both geometric and relatively chaotic. Abstract interior spaces and diverse recognizable rooms. And different people looking at him with kindness. And Mariatheos radiant and glorious. His emotional state was unusually elevated. Something close to bliss. When the world reappeared he stayed looking at the boats and the water and sky for another half hour.

Before Paul got up from the bench at the harbor, he heard within his mind a gentle woman's voice: "Paul, this will be difficult but take as much time as you need. You are required to move to Omaha. Your awareness must be communicated to the community of Our Divine Mother. They will not adopt all of how you know Mariatheos, nonetheless you will make a contribution. We will not ask more of you than what is possible. Have faith that Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is always with you as well as Her angels."

Amazed but still feeling some grace that blocked potential anxiety he got up and walked to Commercial street. Oakport was even more upscale than when he moved away. He walked up Main street a short distance to the chapels of Our Divine Mother and stayed a half hour. Although he loved being there he did not need to be there to have intense spiritual experience. He knew he was saying goodbye.

Omaha

Paul got a small apartment walking distance to cafe fantastique deux and to the Dodge street community center of Our Divine Mother in Omaha. He found himself frequently being in one of their second floor office spaces turned into chapels. Paul didn't mind the lack of religious aesthetic and valued a dedicated space for contemplation and prayer. But he was also friendly to people in the building, and talked to people in common areas. He experienced some degree of spiritual fellowship with people who had some similar spiritual awareness as he did. Our Divine Mother and Mariatheos were basically the same, but not quite.

At the cafe fantastique deux on Dodge street he sometimes met people with devotion to Our Divine Mother. He was genuinely curious about their spiritual awareness and appreciated the degree of commonality of spiritual awareness revealed. But Paul used the common phrase "Our Divine Mother" in describing his own awareness, and he avoided describing any of his mystical experience.

One day Paul was sitting alone at a table in the cafe fantastique deux, drawing in his notebook. An older woman had sat down at his table before he noticed and looked up at her smiling face.

"Hello, do you know who I am?"

Paul waited a moment. He had never met her before but he knew. Smiling he replied:

" Mary Coultier. What great honor is this? "

Mary: "Paul, we are more equal than you know. Perhaps your purpose is better known by me than by you. Please consider me another spiritual guide. It is important that you trust me. I will show up at times unexpected. It might becoming apparent to you that your life of solitude is ending. You are now part of the community of Our Divine Mother. Obviously uncertainty persists; but beyond your ignorance is purpose. So your understanding will slowly develop. I know you have great faith and devotion to Our Divine Mother. Bye for now."

Mary beamed at him before getting up to leave.

Paul was in shock; but also in a gentle joy. He drank from his mug of coffee and resumed drawing.

At home in his small apartment he was often in contemplation. His visual mystical experience had actually decreased once he moved to Omaha. However in his mind instruction from spiritual guides was increasing. In effect while in contemplation it was often as if he were listening to a talk by a spiritual teacher. Thus he learned much. But contemplation was also often just a process of further detachment from his common self in the world awareness. Any feelings of hurt in reaction to others especially if distressful over reaction could be held in contemplation, witnessed, and dismissed. Necessarily this involved transcendence of every day social participation. It was because Paul could do this that he could continue his limited participation in Omaha. Previously his tendency to over reaction insured he avoided talking with people except at work. After he quit working he could listen to people at times while sitting at a table at the diner; but there was no rapport and his feelings of alienation persisted. However in Omaha his conversation with others did have some commonality of spiritual awareness and Paul was more vulnerable to others. Either he misperceived judgement or he felt envious of their greater functionality in the world, especially if they were lucky to have an intimate relationship with someone. In spite of all of Paul's spiritual awareness, he was still a lost soul in the world. It was going to take a while to incrementally transcend a lot more of his false self in the world.

Whenever Mary Coultier showed up unexpectedly at cafe fantastique deux to talk with him, Paul knew some significant realization was going to develop. So he was nervous but the love that Mary emanated compensated.

"Hello Paul, good to see you!" she sat down with her mug of herbal tea.

Paul: " great to see you Mary. How are you? "

Mary: "just fine, very well. Paul, although you are now in community it is not really a community in the world. Although for others their participation in community is mostly in the world, to be blunt, you are not part of that. That is Not your purpose. Although you might have much envy there is nothing to be envious of! Everyone is in their personal purgatory and most people hide their suffering. Obviously they have life in the world, and life is a great gift; but it is false to assume they have more life than you."

Paul: " yes, what you say is true. "

Mary: " this is important, everything, everything in society is archaic. Everything, everything must evolve. But the evolution of society is a seemingly slow process. It is not really slow but humanity in society is very complex, very large and mostly not observable. So evolution takes time. Some people have to jump out ahead of where most people are. And that is often from forces not understood. To be blunt, your limitations in the world are intrinsic to being pushed out in front of the world. From there we can teach and be guides to others. Don't underestimate how far you have been traveling. You're not there yet but you're getting there. Our Divine Mother bless you! "

Mary smiled fully at Paul and left the table.

Two and a half years from when Paul Fieldstone moved to Omaha, New Oakport in western Nebraska was ready for habitation. The cooperative community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha had grown to several hundred people and they started to move to New Oakport. Some would remain in Omaha to staff and manage the apprenticeship program of the cooperative community. For It was necessary to complete the two year program before acceptance by the community.

Mary Coultier was moving to New Oakport also. She had said good bye to Paul but hinted she might write to him at some time. Paul knew his direct spiritual guidance was continual, but he would miss Mary.

After a few years in Omaha, Paul was able to go back to work. But the only job he could do was the one he first did as a young man which was washing dishes. His mind couldn't concentrate on anything more complicated. And he was able to maintain some degree of contemplation while doing his job.

The community of Our Divine Mother outside of the organized cooperative community of Our Divine Mother was large, diverse and mostly not organized. The Dodge street center was the only organization serving the larger community. Most people with devotion to Our Divine Mother did not necessarily want an organization. Informal participation with each other sufficed.

Paul Fieldstone was such a regular at the cafe fantastique deux that many people in the informal community knew him. Because he was interested in people and listened to them he became increasingly popular. However at some unexpected moment he might make a comment that was neither comforting nor offensive, just a little odd but just insightful enough not to be completely dismissed. Thus people put up with it because it didn't happen often. But perhaps weeks or months later that comment might be remembered and alter their awareness slightly.

Being in Omaha for several years, Paul learned much about the community of Our Divine Mother, both about the organized cooperative community and the larger informal community. Although he had much sympathy for the cooperative and some enthusiasm for their living as an alternative spiritual community in New Oakport, his inner spiritual guidance assured him that there was much spiritual purpose for the larger informal community.

Paul prayed to Mariatheos. The myth of Fredonia was dear to his heart and was integral to his spiritual experience as being superior to the world. But he knew society could never adopt the myth of Fredonia as a guide to life in community and society. However the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother in New Oakport was adopting patterns of community almost the same as those of Fredonia. This was wonderful but he was not upset he could not join them. He was certain they were missing something but he didn't know what it was. One hint was that it was too difficult to join them. He had talked to several people who had dropped out of the apprenticeship program. They voiced an unease with the program that was something beyond disappointment with their failure to be able to join. But they couldn't quite understand what was wrong.

New Oakport

Mary Coultier knew what was wrong. But it was her job to help solve for that. Unavoidably people who belonged to the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother had the awareness that the community itself was the highest reality. It is instinctive for people to have the awareness that their community is the context for their individual awareness. Unless they have so much alienation from whatever community they participate in that they are forced to be self reliant for their individual awareness. Some adhoc synthesis of various cultural knowledge and patterns of personal experience in their specific circumstance suffices without adoption of comprehensive awareness from a community.

Because the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother offered comprehensive community awareness, in other words it integrated spiritual awareness, a set of cultural awareness and patterns of participation in the social and natural world, people naturally understood the cooperative community as the source of their awareness of reality. People have most of their personal awareness dependent on their awareness of reality. Thus the community supplies their reality, both as circumstance or participation with others, and as cultural communication of the nature of reality. Many modern people do not understand this. Although society does determine much about a person's awareness of reality, the diversity of communities, circumstance and cultural communication obscures how that develops. And the amount of alienation from society is extensive. Many religious communities that try and provide comprehensive awareness conflict with dominant patterns of awareness that are secular. Thus when a religious community is able to be comprehensive for its members especially if that includes people's circumstance or patterns of participation, that religious community is often judged as a cult.

Omaha

One day Paul received an unexpected letter in the mail. It was from New Oakport, from Mary Coultier. It read:

Dear Paul,

Everything is well here in New Oakport. However I am fairly busy. But I need to tell you a few things.

Your awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is important.

Mariatheos can give people a slightly more intense spiritual awareness of Source of Life and Love. So your discovery has been a great gift. What you need to do is share that gift with others. If a small community of those with devotion to Mariatheos develops, that will actually help the community with devotion to Our Divine Mother. I cannot explain why but if you gain inner guidance to start being open about your slightly different way to know God as Mother it will not be a hindrance to the community of Our Divine Mother and might even benefit the community. To be blunt, you have my permission to do so.

Best regards,

Mary Coultier

New Oakport

The exhilaration of being in New Oakport was great for the members of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother. There was no way they could distinguish between their spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother and the joy of having their own community. An extensive home that included everything: food, shelter, work, fellowship, and sustainable relationship with nature. Most important New Oakport was free from society. Almost all of the worries of being in society were absent.

Those who had been working on bringing New Oakport into existence were overjoyed it finally existed 12 years after the land for it was purchased.

Everyone's gratitude for New Oakport was immense.

Mary Coultier knew the development of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother and of New Oakport was a tremendous creation from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. However she also knew that development was far from complete especially as to spiritual development. She knew that for a while, some unknown number of years, the miracle of New Oakport would insure that in effect New Oakport would be god for people in the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother. But that is ultimately a false awareness. To be overly simple, a diverse group of people discover a similar way to know God, a community of God coalesces into existence, then the community of God becomes God. It doesn't matter if people don't consciously know that, and still claim belief in God transcendent of the community, dominant in their awareness is the community, and in the reality of their awareness the community is God.

Mary Coultier was in New Oakport to be an alternative communication of spiritual awareness. That which agrees with people's conscious beliefs but conflicts with their actual personal and community awareness. Mary knew she must be subtle and inoffensive, she could not be righteous or judgemental. For inarguably the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother was a blessed community. However that blessing serves a higher purpose, not just the enjoyment of its blessed inhabitants.

Omaha

Gradually Paul was getting a little more courage to reveal his personal spiritual awareness when talking with people. More people began to know he worshipped Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. Often he would still use the phrase Our Divine Mother interchangeably with Mariatheos in the same conversation. Although that was for some a bit disconcerting, mostly they just overlooked it. They had established trust in Paul and appreciation of his interest in them. It was natural that those more likely to be friends with Paul would be those with lower status in society similar to his. More likely to be failures in finding romantic relationships. More likely to rely on their prayer life to compensate for the limitations of their lives in the world.

Eventually a few people who went to the cafe fantastique deux in Omaha began to pray to Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. Paul was open to describing his own personal history of spiritual awareness development. Originally he had discovered Our Divine Mother by going to the chapels in Oakport. His prayer life had increased in depth over many years. But when he discovered the Myth of Fredonia it so spoke to him that he knew Mariatheos was the name of Our Divine Mother. From then on his prayer life deepened further and his experience of Love from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos was at times overwhelming.

Although people listened no one followed his example. His experience was not their awareness. Until one evening in prayer to Our Divine Mother, Ruth Tropicaila was astonished to experience a brief image of a glowing woman who seemed to say within Ruth's awareness:

"Behold, I am Mariatheos your Divine Mother."

Because of heightened experiential grace, a gentle love, Ruth did not doubt, at least not then.

Ruth was tall and had much natural charisma. But she was not necessarily the most cooperative with others. She was an artisan and her jewelry sold well enough so she could live modestly. She knew a lot of people in the informal community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha. Sometimes she performed a few songs she wrote at the cafe fantastique deux. The evenings of performance at the cafe fantastique deux were not open mikes, but they included about eight different performers an evening. All sang songs of devotion to Our Divine Mother.

After months of personal prayer to Mariatheos, Ruth was convinced of the truth of the revelation. So at some point she did not hesitate to proclaim the reality of Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love to people she knew and a few she didn't know. When she performed at the cafe fantastique deux her songs of devotion were to Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. No one argued with her but people disagreed with her. Except gradually a few people felt inspiration to pray to Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love.

06 Gathering of Mariatheos

Ruth Tropicaila became the leader of the gathering of Mariatheos in Omaha.

She was tall and had natural charisma which had been transformed by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. She was almost frightening in her intensity of religious inspiration.

Slowly the numbers of the gathering of Mariatheos increased until about one quarter of the informal community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha had joined.

When Paul Fieldstone found out Ruth Tropicaila was worshipping Mariatheos, he lent her the small book " Myth of Fredonia ". She was mesmerized by it, it seemed to be a window onto heaven. Although she realized the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother in New Oakport was living patterns of life similar to those of Fredonia, ironically the Myth seemed more real. She could not explain that but Ruth trusted her spiritual intuition. Since Ruth knew she was going to lead the gathering of Mariatheos in Omaha as it developed, she wanted to obtain more copies of the book. However the book was many years out of print. An exhaustive internet search only discovered 6 used books for sale, which she purchased. After a couple years, since the book had no registered copyright and it was deemed to be public domain, the gathering of Mariatheos had copies of the book printed for its members.

People found it difficult to say no to Ruth. Being on fire from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos made her unstoppable. She asked to give a talk at the auditorium of the Dodge street center of the community of Our Divine Mother. Although it was free, to insure it was well attended she invited some of the more popular singers and musicians with devotion to Our Divine Mother to perform. And she personally invited many people to attend. At that time there were almost no others in Omaha who prayed to Mariatheos. The people Ruth invited did have devotion to Our Divine Mother.

The small auditorium at the Dodge street center for the community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha was about half full. Ruth was pleased that people came. The evening began with about a half hour of music and song by two different groups. After the musicians left the stage a slightly nervous Ruth Tropicaila walked on stage. After a few moments of looking out over the audience and a few moments of prayer, she began to speak:

My sisters and brothers with devotion to Our Divine Mother, I am overjoyed you have come here this evening to consider what I will say.

Let me get to the heart of the matter.

Mariatheos is Our Divine Mother. There is no difference except for what would be a deepening of your awareness of Our Divine Mother. This deepening is available to you if you pray to Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. However it will cost you more of your habitual awareness of your self in the world.

We have been on a journey home. Both as individuals and as society. However society is huge, never underestimate how large and complex the world is. It is because it is so large some people can be closer to the direction of the evolution of society. That is us! It is not a choice; if there was choice it was made before we were born. But now we have no choice as to our awareness development. It might seem like we have agency but that is an illusion. None of us had a real choice as to our move to Omaha. Some were more reluctant and some had more enthusiasm for the move, but we are here no matter what we went through to get here. We were guided and motivated by spiritual forces; and most of us are grateful to be part of the community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha.

Undoubtedly it is a great miracle that the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother lives in New Oakport. But none of us are there and our purpose is not there; our purpose is here in Omaha. Whatever your personal level of enthusiasm for the existence of New Oakport, it doesn't matter, because it is not our purpose. So let me offer a possible purpose for us.

It will be people in society that influence society. We can have a great influence if we both have participation in society and have spiritual awareness that is evolutionary. New Oakport has purpose but it is doubtful many other similar communities will develop, at least not in the foreseeable future. But we are here now in Omaha and our potential for contribution is large but not known.

If the intensity of Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother is great enough, not only will our lives obviously transform but we will contribute to the transformation of others. Let me urge you to worship Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. The intensity of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos in your life will increase. Yes that probably will require an increase of purgatorial suffering; but that develops capacity for an increase of grace, of life and love from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Although this is possible if you continue devotion to Our Divine Mother, if Holy Spirit reveals to you Our Divine Mother is Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love, please welcome that development.

After Ruth finished her talk, musicians came back onto the stage and performed for another half hour. Most people in the audience enjoyed the music and song which they were familiar with. Some were perplexed by Ruth's talk, some were irritated, and some were a little mesmerized by her spiritual intensity. No one left that evening with the intention of beginning to pray to Mariatheos. But a few did not rule out the possibility.

Four months after Ruth Tropicaila gave her talk at the Dodge street center for the community of Our Divine Mother, a small group had gathered around her who prayed to Mariatheos. They did not yet meet to pray together but they all talked to Ruth. Sometimes they would meet each other at the cafe fantastique deux by chance. Usually because Ruth would sit at a table with her cup of tea and someone would wander in and join her, and then latter perhaps someone else. This included Paul Fieldstone who was glad there were others who knew Holy Spirit from Mariatheos and was also captivated by Ruth. It seemed to him that Ruth was almost a manifestation of his past brief visions of Mariatheos.

One day Paul walked into the cafe fantastique deux, and after seeing Ruth was at a table, he went over to her and handed her a letter but then left the cafe. She was surprised but when she looked at the envelope she was astonished. It was addressed to her care of Paul Fieldstone, and it was from Mary Coultier in New Oakport.

Dear Ruth,

Paul wrote me a letter describing some of what has happened in Omaha.

Let me assure you that I fully support the development of the gathering of Mariatheos in Omaha. Since you are its leader, please know you have my full encouragement. Indeed Our Divine Mother is Mariatheos! Only some have awakened to that. However most cannot and it is not of divine purpose for them to do so. Especially here in New Oakport Our Divine Mother is how we know ultimate Source. That is appropriate for this community. Although it does serve divine purpose for a community who worship Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love to develop in Omaha. Thus what you are doing is very important. Mariatheos bless you!

Best regards,

Mary Coultier

Ruth started to softly cry after reading the letter. Truth be told she really did need the encouragement. She knew who Mary Coultier was but didn't know that Paul knew her. Ruth realized that she was part of a larger process of development of the gathering of Mariatheos; that she wasn't as alone as she had felt. She was a little more certain she was being guided and inspired by larger spiritual forces, indeed by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. Although she had much faith, this extra affirmation from Mary Coultier gave her more, which slightly shifted her attitude. Ruth became both more confident and a little more gentle in her communication with others. Which made her more effective as a leader of the gathering of Mariatheos in Omaha.

When Barbara Hillwood joined the gathering of Mariatheos the group gained a place to gather. She had a gallery displaying her own paintings with her working studio in the back. Her paintings sold sporadically but she lived off of an inheritance. It was a welcome space for the gathering. People played guitars and sang songs of love and life from Mariatheos. They could spend some minutes in silent prayer together. And some read poetry about their spiritual experience. And most talked to each other about it. Ruth was there of course but didn't necessarily talk much. She did however moderate the gathering; perhaps at times asking someone to stop their expression and perhaps at times encouraging others. People trusted her and did not take offense. Her benevolent smile was a source of grace for everyone in the group. Gradually the number joining increased and the gallery was being used for gatherings more often.

It was only fair to Barbara that the gathering of Mariatheos should compensate her for the use of her space. So Ruth asked people to formally belong to the gathering as an organization and pay a sliding scale membership fee. A group of trustees was chosen by consensus and they were responsible for the organization. As the organization grew the trustees could delegate some bureaucratic tasks to volunteers. Not only did the organization grow in Omaha, it grew in other cities. Some people from nearby cities had visited the gatherings of Mariatheos in Omaha. Some visited often enough that they were trusted to set up a gathering in their city. Ruth often visited those gatherings and could not help but take on the role of moderator. However others learned from her and could take on that role themselves. Without the continual not necessarily understood guidance by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, the gatherings would have disintegrated quickly. For cooperation is spontaneous when people are in common spiritual awareness. A community of awareness that allows both diversity of personal experience and a mysterious unity which is the heart of the community.

The growth of the gathering of Mariatheos was organic. The organization was necessary but limited. What was most important was the network of friendships. For over time as people grew in spiritual awareness they also grew in their capacity to contribute to others. And the most natural way to incrementally increase ones contribution to others is with the people one already has participation with. Over years some people realized they never really had friendships in the past. Either there were just people one did things with or there were people one had some ongoing pattern of emotional drama with. This was so of even intimate relationship. To contribute to someone else takes a minimum of inner strength. So that one is neither overly vulnerable to others nor overly indifferent. Inner strength is not self derived, it is from having a deep capacity for life from the universal Source of Life. Although any spiritual path can develop that, usually people must find the spiritual community that they can relate to. Other people's spiritual communities cannot be their home. They must search until they find the spiritual community they can join, the home they can belong to.

07 Myth of Fredonia

High in the mountains of southeast Europe, nestled in a few alpine valleys, was the very small land of Fredonia. They lived unknown and undisturbed by the outside world for more than a millennia. However the beginning of their story was in one of the largest cities of the world at that time.

About two centuries after Constantinople became the capital of the Roman empire, Christianity was dominant in the empire that survived in the east after the collapse of much of the empire in the west.

A bishop of the Church in Constantinople was especially devout and tried to pray without ceasing. One late evening in prayer to Holy Maria Mother of God, he inadvertently was softy chanting Holy Maria Mother and God, and before he quite realized his mistake, he heard in his mind a chorus of angels sing:

" Holy Maria Mother and God, Mother of All.

Holy Eternal Mother of Universal Life,

Blessed are those who know You and know Your everlasting Love! "

The bishop was in shock but his level of spiritual grace was so elevated that he began to believe in Maria Who is God, or Mariatheos.

Over several months the bishop secretly continued to pray to Mariatheos. His certainty of Her reality became solid as stone and he grew large in his capacity to be guided by Her angels. He was guided as to whom he should share this new revelation of Mariatheos.

The community of Mariatheos in Constantinople worshipped in secret in small gatherings at each other's homes. They all continued to be outwardly orthodox Christians and the bishop performed all his duties for the church as expected.

Over years all of the community had relocated to the edge of the empire in southeast Europe. They became peasants and servants of Stephen who was a large land owner there but who joined the community of Mariatheos during an extensive stay in Constantinople. The bishop gave up his responsibilities and moved also, becoming the priest of the church next to Stephen's household. Although outwardly Christian the church's devotions to Maria were extensive and all those from Constantinople in their hearts worshipped Maria as God.

Stephen was getting older and both he and the bishop saw the necessity for the community of Mariatheos to relocate again. Stephen could not promise his heir would treat them as fairly as he had. No one knows the heart of another and promises can be abandoned. Some of the most devout were open to angelic guidance encouraging the community to move again.

Shepherds with their flocks explored high mountain valleys and while walking in one valley were overcome by a visitation of angels telling them to settle there.

Simple shepherd's huts grew into a village. Stephen gave them supplies and his blessing to leave his land.

The people of Fredonia soon abandoned the trappings of Christianity. Free from any constraints from the world they developed highly unique patterns of community. Men and women lived separate from each other. People lived in large households. There was no money or exchange of goods. Each household grew food in their gardens and often did some sort of specialized work. Whatever was not kept for their household was given to other households.

Children were loved and cared for by all the women of their household. As boys got older they visited the men's households and learned skills mostly the province of men. At some point young men left their childhood homes and joined a men's household.

There was no marriage in Fredonia. Because life expectancy was long and the population remained the same over the centuries, sexual intimacy was infrequent and only occurred on special almost ceremonial occasions. These were determined by the women's household as to when an infant arrival into the household would be optimum. A young woman did have an emotional bond with a young man who visited and ate with the household from time to time. However only several times during their lifetime did they sleep together within a special sanctified room when she was fertile.

Creation of life within woman is the most sacred and powerful aspect of human life. Naturally women were recognized as superior to men by everyone. Any abilities or knowledge that men had more of relative to women never obscured how women were superior. And women had much knowledge and ability that men had less of. Households gifted to other households not only food, and goods such as pottery, fabric, woodwork, rugs, but also skilled labor such as carpentry. On average men's households gifted more to women's households. For women had primary responsibility for children. Boys spent more time at men's households as they got older and learned and contributed to the tasks of men.

Although everyone knew Mariatheos was the source of all love, women tended to convey a higher intensity of love than men did. Thus to some degree love was a gift from women to men. However men carried the experience of such love with them without needing to be in the presence of women. Obviously boys directly experienced love from their mothers and other women while growing up in their households. However not obviously men have limitations on the amount of love they can accept. This was the main force that motivated young men to leave their homes and join a men's household. But having grown up within the love of women was part of every man's psyche. Being loved was who they were. However men were guests from time to time at women's households usually for a large dinner. So they were reminded of how much they were loved by women. The intensity of love everyone felt in Fredonia completely displaced lust. No one felt lust for anyone. It was not possible and anyone would have felt disgust if they somehow ever had knowledge of lust. Similarly just the idea of theft was impossible. Fredonia was indeed sheltered from what was common in the world.

Agriculture was intensive and sustainable even with the smaller amount of land available in mountain valleys. Fruit and nut trees lived for centuries and were especially venerated for their contribution to the community. Herds of sheep were loved and cared for. People were respectful in the amount of wool and milk they gained. Milk was used to make cheese that could last for long time. There was a level of communication between people and animals and the sheep agreed to give the people of Fredonia what they asked for. When animals died of natural causes they were treated similar to how people would be treated upon death.

When a person or an animal died, their body was taken to an open field and encased in thick clay which eventually became dry in the sun. The walls of the dead accumulated over the centuries. That field was seldom visited except on special ceremonial days that honored the continuity of the present with the past of Fredonia.

The people of Fredonia had much joy but much humility. They near continually knew their dependency on each other, the natural world, and especially on their Mother of Life Mariatheos. Since Life was within everything and everyone, Mariatheos was everywhere, and everyone and everything were within Mariatheos. There was little fear of death because people did not much distinguish between their life and the life of all. However the natural boundaries of each form and each person were obvious and automatically respected. There was never any confusion of oneself and another even though universal Life flows through everyone and everything. Thus there was no eros nor lust. There was no self centric awareness that seeks to possess the life of others.

The older women of the household had some leadership responsibility. However the high level of spiritual awareness of everyone allowed for participation to be mostly spontaneous. Cooperation was natural and an expression of love.

A few of the older women would together visit a men's household from time to time. Sometimes they used their capacity for healing. Although they had a basket of a variety of herbs that might be used to make a healing tea, it was their openness to angelic wisdom that guided their selection of which herbs. However it was much more that they directly channeled healing energy by their focus and their prayers.

The visiting women learned about the men's household and talked with a few of the older men. During those conversations often the men benefited from the wisdom of the women. And as usual the men gained grace from being in the love flowing from women.

Twice a month the community gathered in a field for a celebration and expression of gratitude for all they were given by their Mother of all Life and Love. Hours of music, song and dance. Dance was done in circles of dancers that moved, merged and separated. Children took years to learn the complex dances. And it was especially joyful to fully participate in the dancing.

There was relatively little awareness by the community that the small area of Fredonia was surrounded by a vast not known world. Although their remoteness from other human settlements contributed to their isolation it was continual angelic protection that insured no one from the world beyond discovered their existence. Even when eventually some from Fredonia began to journey into the world, angels protected Fredonia from harm from the world.

Although Fredonia was able to maintain its isolation from the world for over a millennia, their guardian angels began to encourage some engagement with the world in the 18th century. Fredonian traders ventured out of the mountains and sold woolen rugs in market cities. Not only did they accumulate some silver but perhaps more important they gathered knowledge. By the time of the 19th century the traders had become investors in commerce and their wealth increased. Because the traders/businessmen were not working for themselves but to serve Fredonia, they did not keep much for themselves but could continually reinvest what they gained. On some level this was true for the knowledge they gained also.

Holy Spirit from Mariatheos was very incrementally partially withdrawing Her grace from the community of Fredonia. This forced motivation to seek knowledge from the world as their capacity for direct inspiration and knowledge from the spiritual realm slowly and incrementally decreased. This decrease was on average; some people in the community retained high level capacity for inspiration and knowledge from Holy Spirit and angels of Mariatheos. But now this included the sorrowful knowledge that Fredonia must change substantially. It must gain more ability to participate in the larger world and loose some of the innocence of joyful immersion in community fully aware of their Mother Mariatheos and totally ignorant of the vast world which had little awareness of Her.

A decade before the start of the 19th century guardian angels revealed to the elders of Fredonia the purpose for the accumulation of wealth and knowledge. Fredonia must leave their homeland and move to America by the end of the 19th century. This was a grief filled revelation only slightly bearable because it was so far in the future. But the people of Fredonia never had to contemplate such a horrible idea before.

In the beginning of the 19th century the encyclopedia of Fredonia was written. It contained as much as possible descriptions of the patterns of life in Fredonia. Fredonia did not have a written language; the stories to be contained in the encyclopedia were spoken to a few of the traders who had learned to read and write German. So the scribes had to translate what they heard into German before writing it down. Writing the encyclopedia was a slow process. After the completion of the encyclopedia the people of Fredonia began to change so as to conform more to the ways of the world. The trader merchants who had experience in the world beyond Fredonia also became teachers. Having responsibility for educating their people motivated them to learn more themselves. They taught some people how to read and write German and purchased some books for the community. Not everyone was learning much about the larger world. However there did develop some who were excited about learning as much as possible.

What was most important for everyone to learn were new ways of life. Men and women had to get used to marriage and living together as families. Although a large kinship group lived in each household, the psychological adjustment was to some degree stressful. In general as more changes were made to ways of life in Fredonia the more anxiety and dissatisfaction people experienced on average. People knew the changes were necessary, but ironically some people started to anticipate the much greater changes of the actual emigration with a bit of hope.

In the middle of the 19th century the elders of Fredonia communicated to the community a major reason the emigration of the whole of Fredonia to America was necessary. The elders were given knowledge that in the 20th century Europe would suffer from unbelievably brutal and devastating wars. It would be impossible for Fredonia to survive. Also the opportunity to emigrate to America would not necessarily remain as available as it would be in the last part of the 19th century. Thus fear became part of the motivation for the people of Fredonia to cooperate in all the changes necessary and to try and accept no matter how grievous the loss of their beloved village life.

In the last quarter of the 19th century year by year more people made the arduous journey from Fredonia to America. By that time their religion had changed considerably. They adopted much of Orthodox Christianity but their Marian devotion was intense. For most they were still praying to Mariatheos. However more important than the form of the religion was a not avoidable substantial change in their foundational spiritual awareness. Formerly spiritual awareness was virtually one with both natural and human environment. There was no church worship distinct from everyday awareness. But once they entered a strange and at times perhaps hostile world, they could not at all afford to maintain a diffuse spiritual awareness conjoined with their environment. Both religion and their community were distinct and separate from the vast world. They carried their religion and spiritual awareness with them to protect them and sustain them while living in large societies they barely understood.

Once settled in scattered cities across America they could maintain to some degree their sense of community in their neighborhoods. Their church then became extremely important, it was their fortresses wherein they could most be lifted into religious awareness that transcended the limitations of life in the city. Alienation was not avoidable in America. Different types of people could cooperate from pragmatic necessity, but they could not much understand or even trust each other.

The small Fredonian immigrant communities settled in cities in the Midwest with much larger German immigrant communities. The merchant traders of European Fredonia in addition to financing the emigration of all of Fredonia, were able to start businesses in America that could hire people from their community and treat them fairly. The immigrant communities prospered within the growing prosperity of America.

By the beginning of the 20th century, very substantial and beautiful churches were being built to serve the Fredonian communities in America. Although the Church of Fredonia seemed to be an offshoot of eastern Orthodox Christianity, some still carried the folk knowledge of worship of Mariatheos. The church libraries contained copies of the multi volume encyclopedia of Fredonia and other books written by a few educated members of the community both before and after the emigration.

Unfortunately slowly over the decades of the 20th century, the Fredonian communities in America dispersed and declined. Young men especially might search out greater economic opportunity in a different city. But marriage with those outside the Fredonian communities was the major factor. More often than understood, because a young man responds to the intensity of friendliness and flirtation of a young woman who wants him, he has little choice but to marry the woman who chooses him. Men who married women who were Orthodox or Catholic usually were able to orient themselves to their wife and her family. He attended their church and perhaps formally converted. Young women within the Fredonian community also married outside of their community, but less often. Some women were for whatever reason afraid to do so and remained in the old neighborhood unmarried.

In the Orthodox Christian tradition priests are married. As the Fredonian immigrant communities declined the church community became even more important to those who remained. The churches included women's monastic communities who did most everything for the church except for the role of the priest. The home of the priest often hosted diners for some in the community left behind by the dispersal of family members. Perhaps out of guilt or nostalgic memory, many with Fredonian heritage who made lives outside of the immigrant communities gave large gifts to the church especially in their wills.

When the priests of the churches of Fredonia began to retire, the congregations of the churches were very small. There were no younger men serving as clergy of the church. The women of the church were afraid of disapproval from society if a woman became priest . But defacto the women ran the churches. So the decision each church made when their priest retired was to abandon church services but to keep it open for prayer and contemplation. The church became a large chapel mostly used by the women's monastic community.

However the women were reading the encyclopedia of Fredonia and were well aware of the matriarchal nature of the religion and patterns of community of European Fredonia. They were discussing among themselves if the church should be restored to its focus on Mariatheos, if perhaps the church should abandon its adoption of Christianity in the 19th century.

By the time of the growth of the women's movement in the 1960's and 70's, the church of Fredonia had evolved significantly. They worshipped Mariatheos Mother of all Life. They had formulated a church worship service of prayers and song . They had replaced some of the stained glass windows with more contemporary slightly abstract colorful images of Mariatheos that had no indication of ethnic identification. The music was exquisite and transcendent. The women of the monastic communities were inspired by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos and dedicated themselves to giving full expression of the highest spiritual experience possible. Some were clergy and some became accomplished musicians and singers.

At first the women of the monastic communities were mostly the congregations of the churches. But slowly women on spiritual search for God as Mother discovered the church of Fredonia and began to join. Although there were many other groups for women centric spirituality in America, the church of Fredonia grew during the last few decades of the 20th century. However they changed their name at the beginning of the 21st century to the church of Mariatheos.

Luke Templeton worked as a cook at a bustling restaurant in downtown Cincinnati. He was good but the work was stressful and eventually he burned out and had to quit. He had saved a considerable amount because he dreamed of starting his own restaurant someday. So he had enough to live on for a while. He was despondent because his dream now seemed impossible. It seemed impossible to ever be the head chef at his own restaurant.

Although Luke loved women he didn't want to marry until he was a success. Now attaining success seemed an illusion. He wasn't sure even with months of rest he could ever get back in the game. Even if he could, how long before he would fail again?

Luke had been practicing meditation for two decades. Now he had ample opportunity for spending much more time at meditation. He pretended he was a monk and followed a disciplined daily routine. Soon he was entirely focused on his spiritual life. Thoughts about the future were meaningless. During his meditation endless patterns of psyche came up out of the unconscious to torment him. However he maintained his discipline and observed and detached from them as best he could.

Luke was not religious, he had not adopted any religious practice from Buddhism or Hinduism.

Part of his routine was to take an hour walk each morning. One Sunday morning he was walking by the church of Fredonia in a neighborhood of Cincinnati. His mind was quiet and suddenly like a gust of wind a voice in his mind almost shouted, "Go in!" Luke was stunned and stopped walking; he slowly turned and faced the church. Although not religious Luke did not dismiss the idea of the existence of the spiritual realms. Thus at that moment he could not dismiss the possibility that what he heard was a spirit guide. He went into the church which was open for worship.

Luke sat at the back of the church. Almost immediately he was mesmerized by the beautiful music and the beauty of the stained glass windows. But especially he was captivated by the wonderful singing of the women. Their voices were so beautiful, he felt a deep joy that was beyond belief. His experience during that hour flowed through him without any thought on his part. He heard the prayers without any judgement, and he could not help but silently worship Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. Much of the time he just felt bathed in sublime Love.

When the celebration and worship were over he just continued to sit there. Surprised he heard in his mind a voice:

" Please leave", he hesitated. Again a little more sternly, "Get out!"

Luke left the building and when outside he felt an overwhelming urge to hide. He quickly walked around to the side of the church and sat in the grass, his back to the stone wall. He began to cry. He sobbed uncontrollably. After twenty minutes he stopped crying suffering pain in his chest and stomach. He sat another half-hour and as the pain decreased somewhat he again heard a familiar voice in his mind.

" Go home Luke and rest. From now on you will be frequently guided. Your life has changed and you have much to learn. Have faith. "

Slowly he walked home.

Luke had given it no thought, but his slightly muffled sobs were heard by all those inside the church. Some in the congregation were a bit worried and dismayed. One of the clergy spoke:

" Do not be alarmed. This is actually a great day! This man will be a prophet who leads his brothers back to our Mother Mariatheos. "

Because he had intensified his practice of meditation, Luke had incrementally cleared out a good amount the unconscious patterns of psyche that controls an individual. What is conscious is just a little of the mass of personal psyche even though what is conscious can be experientially intense. But Luke had gained enough emptiness of patterns of the hidden mind that he was ready to have the intense alternative awareness he experienced at the church of Fredonia. However that capacity was limited, and what was immediately revealed to him when he was outside of the church was how much grief remained in his psyche mostly unconscious. Being elevated to such heights of awareness of spiritual Love he then crashed into his common self awareness. Thus he was given an extraordinary gift but it was just for some moments, and it would take much work to gain the capacity for such elevated spiritual awareness on a sustained basis. He knew he had no choice for once having that experience there was nothing else worth doing than to go on the journey towards knowing such Love again.

Because Luke developed the capacity for spiritual guidance, he was able to go beyond simple observation of psyche within meditation and begin to learn. He was taught that at a foundational level there is existential grief, fear, and rage. However life is ubiquitous thus existential crisis is based on fundamental ignorance of the universal and eternal nature of Life. In other words spiritual ignorance. All the diverse and extensive drama of humanity is from intrinsic conviction that one is separate from the unity of Life which could be called God. Unfortunately the concept of the unity of all life makes almost no difference to a person's extensive patterns of false awareness of separation from Universal and Eternal Life. A false spiritual certainty can be broken by any degree of unavoidable crisis.

Women have greater potential for instinctive spiritual awareness than men have. Because civilization has been patriarchal for many millennia, religion has been mostly patriarchal and its great leaders, teachers, and mystics have been mostly men. The spirituality of women has been marginalized, ignored, and sometimes oppressed. However matriarchal religion with women as clergy is possible, such as the church of Fredonia. Unfortunately men have little capacity to share in such a spiritual community unless they go very deep and become empty of much of the false patterns of awareness they have. Luke was being guided to attain that capacity; and when that developed he could then learn how to guide other men in developing such capacity as well.

The fraternal order of Fredonia was the men's organization that worshipped Mariatheos Mother of all Life. They only sometimes visited and worshipped at the church of Fredonia (church of Mariatheos). The men accepted they were not at the same level of spiritual awareness as were the women. The relationship of men and women in a matriarchal community is not of a false equality. Women are superior; they can cocreate another's life within their self and give birth to another human life. That superiority has all kinds of differences joined with it. Thus men have their differences from women but only the distortions of patriarchal society would claim those as superior. However patriarchal civilization has been in decay for long enough that its worst distortions have decreased to some degree. However very few people have the prophetic knowledge that matriarchal civilization is what will evolve.

08 Church of our Divine Mother in Ohio

Dayton Ohio.

John Cullen moved to Dayton so as to be able to do personal study at the Marian research library of the international Marian research institute at the university of Dayton. Only after a few days there Mother of Heaven told him to stop going. Which was a relief because he was not an academic and felt everyone looked at him with disdain. This was an exaggeration, but he did look out of place with torn clothing and long hair.

John had traveled by bus from Baltimore where he grew up. He had dropped out of high school and worked as a dishwasher at restaurants at Baltimore's inner harbor. With views of the harbor was a complex of what were in effect shopping malls that attracted tourists.

He went to church often, and his devotion to Mother Mary intensified over the years . He read a lot of devotional books; he read the books of Saint Louis de Monfort many times. At the age of 24 he felt the call to intensify his studies, to travel to Dayton and immerse himself in the Marian library.

Holy Mother told John that instead of study he should pray the rosary for as many hours as possible each day for a month. He had faith that when providential his not yet known purpose for being in Ohio would be revealed to him.

John lived in a barely furnished room, bathroom in the hall, in a poor part of downtown Dayton, and worked as a dishwasher. His natural stare and depressed look insured he did not make friends. He had an intense prayer life that made him oblivious to others; the world as it was did not much exist for him.

However his prayer life was purgatorial; evil and suffering had to be held in contemplation until the power of universal Love dissipated distress. After a month had passed in which he prayed the rosary hours every day, during prayer Holy Mother told him to purchase an acoustic guitar at a thrift store. He had played a little when he was a teenager.

Angels and spirits inspired and guided John in composing simple songs of Love about Divine Mother. He was encouraged to perform at various open mikes in town. When he did so, he experienced a higher level of joy than he ever felt before.

John's songs did not mention the name Mary; for many people think Mary was just a woman and not divine. His songs were to: Queen of Heaven, Mother of Life, Mother of Mercy, Mother of Universal Love, Mother of all who call to Her, and Mother of Eternal Life.

John's songs appealed to people who were not necessarily Catholic. Listening were some people who might be called new age, some who had left the catholic church, some who had left protestant churches, and some who were only vaguely spiritual. John's music appealed mostly to women but also to some men. One bar gave him a solo show every monday evening; and it became popular.

The joy John felt by performing was joined with awareness that his popularity was not about him. Others' discovery of Love from their Divine Mother was why they came to listen.

To be blunt, John did not take advantage of any of the young women who enjoyed listening to him; he remained chaste. He could not betray his Divine Mother and he could not betray any woman's love for Her, even if a woman made the mistake of confusing Her with love for him.

A few women were disappointed John did not respond to their advances; but others were glad he did not fall to earth. In fact such a mistake on his part would have broken his capacity for grace which would have stopped his ability to sing.

Eventually that monday evening performance included others who sang songs to Divine Mother. In a way those gathering to listen and play music about Divine Love were a church.

Over some months a small community of mostly women grew in their awareness of Divine Mother and each other as sisters and brothers. Several women discovered intense communion with their Mother of Life, and became defacto leaders of the community. They rented a store front space and began a church of Our Divine Mother.

Over time the church increased the number of gatherings held each week to accommodate the growing number of people comming to each church gathering. From the beginning of the new church John was guided to fade into the background. The enthusiasm of the church leadership and the beauty of the music of women singing and playing guitars together generated a larger church community that replaced the former small gathering of a devoted audience for John. And John was glad to be out of the center of attention.

The church of Our Divine Mother was not catholic. Some students from the University of Dayton who were catholic attended the new church. A few professors from the university who were part of the institute for Marian research condemned the church of Our Divine Mother as heresy. But they must have known that some Marian theological understandings have been condemned as heresy by others in the Catholic church; and almost all Marian devotion has been condemned as heresy by many from Protestant churches.

Because of chronic crisis in the Catholic church during the 21st century, for many catholics the charge of heresy was losing its power to intimidate. To some degree non clergy were challenging the episcopal structure of the church; and if not overtly, were seeking a congregational structure for the church. Which would be condemned as heresy.

Decades of covering up for the abuse by priests, decayed the moral authority of clergy and bishops. People stayed in the church because of faith and community; but many people were unhappy with the disgrace of the Catholic church. More people might have left if the protestant church did not seem so hostile to catholic faith and Marian devotion. 500 years of protestant/catholic conflict has left a legacy of alienation that for many people cannot easily be resolved.

The church of Our Divine Mother was a natural choice for some catholics with a deep Marian devotion who could no longer stay in the Catholic church. However the church of Our Divine Mother did not have any emphasis on worship of Jesus; and only some ex-catholics in the Dayton area joined.

Clara Pulaski was a professor of religious studies at the University of Dayton. She was knowledgeable about different religions and had enough empathy to be convinced holiness was possible within every religion; but full holiness is attained by relatively few. However there are different levels of holiness; and religion in general facilitates more holiness on average than secular society.

Clara was not enthusiastic about modern society. She was aware of how much suffering was generated by decay of community and decay of family. She understood the folly of individualism, and the loneliness and alienation that results.

She was Catholic but liberal in her understanding of theology. However she tried not to offend traditionalists as she had some sympathy for them. Clara avoided expressing any critique of Catholicism or belief that aspects of it were archaic.

Steubenville Ohio.

After Father Michael Scanlan died in 2017, many who knew him when they were students at Franciscan University of Steubenville were convinced he was a Saint, even if it might take many years for the Catholic church to affirm that. Thus many of them while in prayer asked for his intercession. Surprisingly some heard in their minds the advice, "increase your Marian devotion". Those who were given such direction, did so.

Since there was a network of alumni of Steubenville who maintained friendships, it did not take long for those receiving this private revelation to discover each other. Some of those alumni organized a meeting, to be held at the university, for the renewal of Marian devotion.

Father Michael Scanlan had been president and later chancellor of Franciscan University of Steubenville for almost 4 decades. He was credited with rescuing the school from closing down. However he did it by increasing the Catholic focus of the college, by making it one of the most Catholic of the Catholic colleges and universities in America, not by making it as appealing as possible to secular students.

The success of the college which later became a university was not the only achievement of Father Scanlan; perhaps more significant was the charismatic renewal on campus which he facilitated. Those participating in it, which included many if not most of the students, experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit. This gave them intense spiritual experience and great religious enthusiasm.

Although never growing beyond a small portion of the Catholic church, there were catholic charismatic groups throughout America. They had some similarities with pentecostal protestant churches; however catholic charismatic groups included Marian devotion.

By the time of the meeting of the alumni, the charismatic renewal within Franciscan University of Steubenville had faded. However the alumni had fond memories of youth filled with the excitement of living in spiritual fellowship. But the meeting was not a reunion; they were there to pray together: prayers to Mary, Holy Queen of Heaven, Fountain of Grace, Mother of Mercy.

What those who traveled to Steubenville did not expect was that about 20 minutes into their group prayers, they were all filled with such intense experiential spiritual Love, that most just started crying and began mumbling spontaneous prayers of deep gratitude and love.

Dayton Ohio

One evening Clara Pulaski visited the church of Our Divine Mother in Dayton. She was curious and in the future might teach a course on new religious movements; so it was natural to visit one in her own back yard. However she had not expected to be so deeply affected. She started to attend on a regular basis.

Many professors at the University of Dayton (including at the religious studies department) were not Catholic. There was no prohibition on joining a new church; none the less she kept her participation secret. She was afraid of ridicule, judgment, and loss of respect. All new religions are judged as cults and their followers foolish.

A professor needs to feel respected by colleagues and students. Otherwise fear of humiliation could shut down the false bravado necessary in order to teach. Credentials help, but the theatre of teaching is psychologically fragile if enough doubt develops as to its benefit. Because every teacher was once a student; and many a student at sometime has been convinced the whole college experience is meaningless.

Most students at the University of Dayton were either not religious or not much religious, and were from diverse backgrounds. Almost all were pursuing a normal secular university education. However scattered around campus were diverse groups that met for religious fellowship. Over years some groups formed of students inspired by the church of Our Divine Mother.

The church of Our Divine Mother was not Christian. Without the constraints of Trinitarian doctrine they were free to worship God as Mother of Life and Love; they were free to immerse their awareness within Her Life and Love. For some, their spiritual ecstasy was intense; and they could communicate to others who could then share in that experience.

The church of Our Divine Mother was mostly just celebration. People who had no capacity for such awareness either directly or indirectly just stayed away. Very little was there given explanation of how to gain such awareness. However there was a little guidance that if someone should lose ability to to experience the joy of Divine Mother's Love they should just wait until it returned.

However for some without experiential awareness of Mother of Life, the contrast with others' joy was an additional grief and they stopped attending. A few of them might even assume the others were not experiencing reality and were in delusion.

As the informal church of Our Divine Mother grew on campus, it also became more accepted. The intelligence and vitality of the young women and men who participated could not be argued with. Thus most of the larger community of the University of Dayton felt it would be an indicator of intolerance to judge them. Acceptance of differences was an expectation of any university community.

After a couple years Clara felt comfortable being open about her participation in the church of Our Divine Mother. However she could see some of its limitations, even compared to traditional religion. The longevity of Catholicism has been partly because it has given recognition to the whole of human experience.

Catholicism has provided a way to sanctify suffering and to show it as an aspect of the path to joy. Jesus suffers crucifixion, but then glorious resurrection. The church teaches people to follow his example. Thus life is purgatorial, and people cannot escape their portion of suffering; but especially if suffering is accepted, they will gain their portion of joy.

For any spiritual group that teaches only the joy of knowing ultimate spiritual reality (God or Divine Mother), some of its participants will suffer disillusionment when suffering blocks their capacity for having experiential awareness of god's love. However it is possible for a church or spiritual group to teach that suffering does not indicate God (or Divine Mother) has abandoned them; but that being human unavoidably includes absence of experience of God's (Divine Mother's) Love. Thus having wisdom is to not abandon faith when experience does not confirm it.

Clara understood the wisdom within Catholicism; but religion is metaphorical. Often people believe the metaphor as being reality rather than portraying reality. However to dismiss the reality that metaphor represents is worse than mistaking metaphor for reality.

Sophisticated people are sometimes perhaps too reliant on their use of language. They avoid contemplation of the reality of psyche, society, people, nature, or spirit. Language can obscure reality and sometimes, to be crude, becomes a game people play; while the reality portrayed by language is ignored.

Often people are vastly ignorant of reality but can pretend to have knowledge by use of language. The miracle is that people can live in much ignorance. Pragmatic knowledge is necessary and knowledge required to do a job is necessary,. However to a large extent people do not understand others nor even their self, do not understand society nor the world, do not know what is beyond the world nor what is causal of existence.

Religion can be good at guiding people via metaphor thru realms of psyche and spirit; which might help them to discover some peace and even joy; and that might help them in their participation with others and within the world.

The church of Our Divine Mother was related to Marian Catholicism (and also to the Eastern Orthodox Christian church which has much Marian devotion); but the new church had many differences. Most people who joined were not catholic or were only slightly tied to the Catholic church. The theology of Marian Catholicism was of no concern to them.

For those with more past involvement with the Catholic church, they had more focus on how the church of Our Divine Mother was an evolution of Mariology. They realized that devotion to Mary was very close to worship of Our Divine Mother, Creator of Life. Many from the new church believed that obscured by Catholic theological descriptions of Mary which were careful to place her at a lower level than the Trinitarian God, Marian devotion for some was actually worship of Our Divine Mother.

The deific titles given to Mary, such as Queen of Heaven, could be evidence that at its heart Marian devotion can be worship of Her as God. Thus those within the Catholic church who are deeply Marian must maintain a willful ignorance of the contradictions in their beliefs.

Over several years Clara Pulaski contributed to the transformation of the church of Our Divine Mother into a sustainable religion. She gave a small seminar in which participants learned general principles of religion and learned how religions use story to portray the basic stages and cycles of purgatorial awareness development.

Some dedicated participants of the church gained enough wisdom so as to be able to write stories inspired by various folk cultures of the world. The stories portrayed in different ways the purgatorial transformation of common awareness into transcendent spiritual awareness, especially awareness of Mother of Life.

Story cycles portrayed young women and young men: going on vision quests in the forest or desert or mountains, suffering physical and psychological distress, having communion with various spirit guides, confronting the Great Void and learning acceptance of it, gaining humility, experiencing Love from Mother of Life who shone bright before them, and returning to their villages to participate both in the tasks of life and in the gatherings of celebration of Mother of Life.

Over years the church of Our Divine Mother grew in the depth and complexity of its spiritual culture as more stories were created, some of which were put into song. The church and the informal groups on campus expanded their cycle of songs beyond those of celebration, worship, and gratitude to Mother of Life.

They also included songs that portrayed: suffering of those not experiencing Her Love, despair from the futility of seeking gain from others and the world, frightful contemplation of the Void within creation, and joyful discovery of capacity to know Love from Mother of Life.

Steubenville Ohio.

The second great spiritual renewal at Franciscan University of Steubenville was Marian. Some priests and professors, but mostly students, were focused on Marian devotion and celebration of Her outpouring of Grace. Although there was great joy, there were times of reflection. Some had regret for past false self and community awareness such as: judgment, arrogance, prejudice, selfishness, phariseeism, lust, materialism, status seeking, etc.

To be overly simple, a spiritual renewal can be a relatively easier purgatory; normal existence is often a more difficult purgatory. Those blessed by being lifted into higher spiritual life can provide hope for those who struggle in the world and might doubt there is any reality to spiritual life.

Marian spiritual renewal, which eventually traveled to other communities, was not dependent on priests. It was not facilitated by preaching; it was dependent on song and prayer. There was little leadership but any leaders were usually women. Marian spiritual renewal has been a folk movement which has mostly bypassed the institution of the Catholic church.

Dayton Ohio.

At the University of Dayton, several years after groups of students formed on campus to celebrate Our Divine Mother with prayer, song and testimony, transfer students from Franciscan University of Steubenville brought Marian charismatic spiritual renewal to Dayton.

Dayton had more substantial programs for engineering and science than Steubenville, as well as many other course offerings. For decades Steubenville had the reputation of having the most devout Catholic students. However it was the recent revival of Marian spiritual fervour that proved able to be easily communicated and received by others.

Marian charismatic renewal spread only so far at Dayton. Most students who were confirmed in their secular worldview did not participate. All the joy and enthusiasm of others was dismissed as foolishness and delusion. Hipster chic even while suffering depression was preferable to foolish vitality.

At the University of Dayton, as well as the many students, some catholic professors and a few priests of Catholic churches on campus and especially many at the Marian library and the international Marian research institute also embraced the outflow of Grace from Mother Mary. For some students and others, their spiritual joy was beyond belief.

Although the church of Our Divine Mother was not Catholic, after Marian charismatic renewal came to Dayton, Marian Catholics and members of the church of Our Divine Mother especially on campus embraced each other. They knew theological differences were of no concern; Mother's Love made them sisters and brothers.

One group called Her God and the other group called Her very close to God. Many Marian Catholics believe Her Deific nature is so high so as to make her one with the Trinity, God in all but name. But at Dayton it was experientially obvious Spiritual Love was beyond theological understanding.

Some people overly concerned with theology perhaps have had limited direct spiritual awareness; they have been trying to climb an intellectual ladder to heaven and unfortunately might not have gotten very far off the ground. Those in prayer who are blessed with direct communion are lifted up by angels' wings to great heights.

There is much history about various spiritual revivals that describe the rise and fall of spiritual inspiration within various religious communities. But this Marian spiritual revival was just beginning.

09 Divine Incarnation

An alternative myth of Divine incarnation.

Maria was born in Palestine over 2000 years ago. But even before She was born her mother knew her womb was filled with extraordinary Being who she could not help but worship. When the baby was born all in attendance were filled with Light; the midwife was guided by angels because she was almost blind with Light. When the baby was put to breast Her mother felt her milk was transformed as if into Light.

It was obvious the baby was God; and that continued to be obvious as Maria grew up. But only a few outside the family could see that.

Maria's family was Hebrew but spoke Greek. They were a merchant family who spoke the language of culture and commerce in the eastern Mediterranean. They referred to Maria as Mariatheos; Maria who is God. Maria said nothing as to Her Purpose; however Her family was filled with Love and Life that came from Her. Some of them wrote about Her and their experience of Her; those writings survived but at that time were not shared outside the family.

When Maria was with child, when questioned She said no man was responsible. So Her family arranged for an older cousin to be Her husband but without any intimacy. He knowing She was God, feared he was not worthy; but with Her nod of approval, he fell to the ground and placed his hands near Her feet.

Maria never left Her family; She gave birth in the house She grew up in. Everyone in the family knew Jesus was God also; only a few outside the family could see that in the child as He grew up.

When Jesus as an adult began His public ministry, some of His followers could see Maria was God, most did not. Not all of the followers of Jesus knew He was God until after His death. As the Christian community grew in the 1st century, some of them also worshipped Mariatheos; and there were also gospels written about Her.

There were many diverse gospels written about Jesus; only 4 were included in the New Testament. Many gospels became lost but some have been rediscovered. Writings about Maria that indicate Her Divinity have also been rediscovered. And today many christians have a Devotion to Maria that is very close to worship of Mariatheos.

10 Prayers

Ave Maria, Mother of Life;

Blessed are those who know You.

Mariatheos, Giver of Life;

Bless us, now and throughout our purgatory.

Our Mother Who art Heaven;

Holy You are, Your Holy Spirit flows forth

To transform our world slowly into Your Heaven.

Help us each day as we struggle

To accept transformation of our limitations,

So as to experience Your Life and Love.

Glory be to our Mother,

Her Holy Spirit and Her Angels;

Mariatheos, Creator of all Life,

Eternal and Universal,

Within us and within the world,

Ever evolving.

Holy Queen of Heaven, Mother of Mercy, Source of our Life,

Have mercy on us, suffering children of our society and the world.

Help us in our grief, fear, and distress.

Help transform our severe limitations;

So that we may with deep gratitude experience Your bountiful

Grace, everlasting Love, and eternal Life.

O Mother of all Life, Mariatheos

Deliver us through the Great Void,

So that we may seek immersion in

Your Universal Love.

11 Allegory of Books and Boxes

The Church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is a small box of gold and silver coins worth a fortune; however the box is locked. It is inside another box that is locked which is inside a larger plain box containing old books. Nobody knows there is a treasure in the box of books. Very few people even know the box of books exists and they are not interested in the books. Someone would have to start reading the books before they found the smaller box inside the larger box. Anyone who would read the books would also have enough integrity not to break open the smaller boxes. They wouldn't even know that there is a treasure inside unless they read many of the books. Reading the books eventually reveals not only the existence of the treasure but puzzles that if solved reveal the codes to the combination locks of the boxes. The books also reveal that if the reader can solve the puzzles they deserve the fortune. Actually there are several such boxes of books with smaller locked treasure boxes inside. Those who are eventually able to gain the treasure do not spend it in ways that are observable. But they are able to serve others in unusual ways. If they claim that they had discovered a box of treasure, almost no one believes them because they don't have anything that indicates they are rich.

12 New London

John Smith left new york city in a hurry. Elizabeth just had her period; so he could leave knowing she was not pregnant; and he did not want to see her again. Because if he did see her he would end up sleeping with her again. So he had to leave and not tell her where he was going. He broke up via voice mail and threw away the phone. He was certain she would not find him if he traveled by commuter rail as far away as New London. But in New London he better not get involved with anyone again.

She had often teased him that soon he would become a father. In the heat of desire it was difficult to use a condom. Elizabeth did not care; she was in love and wanted a baby; he was in love but feared being responsible for a child. There was the contradiction of love and lust being all consuming, and raising a child while poor being difficult and stressful. She did not care, but he knew the reality from observation of everyone around him. That contradiction was tearing him apart.

Fear is sometimes greater than love or romantic desire. Fear of the future if it included having a family in the uncertainty and distress of being poor in the city, that fear motivated flight even if flight included heartbreak. John might not have been conscious of it but fear of being hated was part of his motivation. His mother hated his father who was often absent, angry at everyone, or drunk. John did not want to turn out like his father, nor like some of his friends. A man might seem to start off well with his girlfriend or wife, and living as a family. But as the kids got a little older and if the stress and arguments increased, he might break and run; leaving a bitter and wounded family behind. It also happened sometimes that a good man might get pushed out if his girlfriend found a better man or a new love. The failures of family outnumbered the successes.

For some reason John ran before it was too late. Of course his running would cause Elizabeth to hate him; but at least there would be no little child that would grow up to hate him. But not only did he run, he made good on his vow to avoid getting involved with a woman again.

Sandra Oakfield grew up in New London and after going away to UConn at Storrs, returned to New London to teach at an elementary school. She suffered heartbreak twice at college; after several months she was dumped each time as her ex sought out a shinier faster model. It did not help her grief that they both ended up getting dumped themselves. Twice heartbroken was too much; and she did not test fate again. However after a while grief subsided somewhat and she became a bit bitter, cynical, and even disdainful of the whole realm of love. She did not trust men and she did not trust the game of love.

Observation of others in the realm only confirmed her convictions. Visiting home between semesters she became aware of the marriages of her older sisters, cousins, and their friends. Sandra was a confidante of a few women, and some of their stories were sad. The stress of motherhood ended romance sooner or later. And as often as not once the magic was gone someone's husband had an affair. The devil's bargain was to stay in the marriage to keep the family together and tolerate his affairs, or to get a divorce, be alone, be responsible for everything and hope he sometimes paid child support. Of course there were women who seemed to have good marriages; but perhaps what they did not know did not hurt them. When she voiced her suspicions about marriage in general, everyone contradicted her, even those with bad or broken marriages. She reasoned belief in marriage and family was not abandoned because there was no alternative. However Sandra refused to believe in a broken myth. She accepted being alone.

Amy Hunter was an artist renting one of the studios at 38 Green street. Her paintings were colorful, abstract, and popular. Her paintings sold at galleries in towns along the Rhode Island and Connecticut shore. She was from a high income family, and accumulated connections and gifts that insured her paintings sold and she was never wanting. As an artist in New London her lifestyle was inherently bohemian; and she was not lacking in friends or relationships.

One day she was doing abstract figurative work inspired by the early 20th century cubist painting "nude descending a staircase". To her shock the woman seemed to speak to her. "Amy my darling, you are wasting your time on trivialities. It is time to get serious; what is the purpose of your life? Not distractions darling, not even art. Ponder on what you do not know." Then Amy resumed painting again habitually. But she wondered, what the hell just happened? Was it her subconscious mind speaking to her? She did not know.

Confusion persisted off and on for weeks and months; and a general unease became chronic as Amy ceased to enjoy her life as she used to. The question arose in her mind too often: is what I am doing now a distraction? The question interrupted her while she was with her friends listening to a band at 33 Golden street, while at a restaurant on Bank street with a friend or with her boyfriend, sometimes even in the middle of making love, and much of the time while she was painting.

Reluctantly Amy decided to give up art. She started to read. She figured a good place to start was with the heavyweight Russian novelists of the 19th century. To lighten it up a bit she read English novelists of the same era. Such immersive reading did seem to quiet her nagging voice of chronic doubt. That became her guide; if her doubt was conscious she avoided that activity; if it was quiet she assumed she was in the process of discovering purpose. Over a year her life changed dramatically.

Old vagabond walked about in New London. In mild weather he would sit on a bench along the waterfront staring out at the harbor. Groton was on the other side of the wide river, and dominant were the shipyards of General Dynamics, which built submarines. Their large office complex was however in New London about 2 miles south of downtown. Old vagabond accepted the industrial environment; it was not a picturesque harbor but a realistic one. Old vagabond was both in severe alienation from the world and in acceptance of the world as it was. He had no political world view , which distorts understanding of the world. All political world views balance each other's set of distortions so as to yield a murky view of reality. But old vagabond did not have much focus on the world. He was immersed in the spiritual realm. Life in the world was a complex game in which incremental transcendence of the world was the task. By the time he was an old man he had gotten fairly good at the great game.

The small posters taped to utility poles in downtown New London read, "Mariatheos Mother of all Life". Most people ignored the message. A few people thought, "theos is greek for God, must mean Maria is God. Ok, never heard that before. Some wacko has a new name for God." That wacko was old vagabond. Although old vagabond knew the great game was to discover transcendence of the world; with enough transcendence some awareness of ultimate source of reality (God) is inevitable. But God can be known thousands of different ways; and ultimately knowledge is personal. But a religion is a shared way to know God, even if the experience of individuals is diverse. For old vagabond God appeared as Great Mother. Although God as Mother is most known within pagan religions and Hinduism, for old vagabond Mother Mary was a better known Divine image. So he gave God as Mother the name Mariatheos. From then on that name corresponded with his awareness of Her while in contemplation. God is Mariatheos.

Sandra did not much go out during the evening. However about twice a month on a Saturday she would have lunch with a friend or a sister at one of the restaurants on Bank street, and peruse a couple of shops for gifts and cards. She did her christmas shopping throughout the year, and also shopped for the birthdays of her friends and family. She was aunt Sandra to a lot of people; without children of her own she was happy to play that role. She loved children as would befit her job as a teacher; but she was perhaps overly worried about what would await them when they grew up.

One spring day she saw one of the posters that read "Mariatheos Mother of all Life". At first she was surprised to see such a piece of paper taped to a pole with such an unusual statement; but unlike almost everyone else she did not immediately walk on. She stared for about a minute. Her sister was perplexed but did not say anything; Sandra commanded a bit of respect so Mary felt it wrong to interrupt her. Sandra turned to face her, "Mary, this is very important. I felt an intuition of my fate unfolding. This could be huge and I have much to contemplate when I get home. Thank you for your patience with me." Mary replied, "of course, Sandra". A not understood welling of emotion surfaced, and she continued, "I love you Sandra. I will support you in whatever you do. You are a wonderful woman. " Then Sandra hugged her sister.

John Smith got a job as a dishwasher at a restaurant on Bank street. He rented a so called furnished room, bathroom in the hall, in an old run down building on Green street. He was pleasant but not too friendly; friends could get one into trouble as often as not. But he needed help in order to keep his vow (to avoid getting involved with a woman). A vow based on fear but a vow none the less. When he could he went to Saint Mary Star of the Sea, a roman catholic church nearby on Huntington street. It was large and beautiful. It had a diverse congregation; but without family or friends he was still alone.

John at times sat in the church when the church was open before and after services. He felt a comfort that a little healed his chronic grief. Guilt over his betrayal of Elizabeth, even if he was motivated by wanting to avoid commiting a worse betrayal in the future. But upon reflection the only way John could have avoided the grief of the loss of Elizabeth and the grief of hurting her by abandoning her so suddenly, the only way was to have avoided getting involved with her in the beginning. In other words to reject the realm of love and desire. All his former friends, everyone he knew, both men and women, all of them would never consider never entering that realm. Only monks and nuns renounce the realm of romantic love and desire. Oh, priests took the same vow but many were hypocrites. But John knew transcendence of the hell of worldly love did require some sort of religion. But it was an inward journey, not just attending Mass, which unfortunately he could not relate to. The Mass seemed like a long recitation of language that had lost its meaning, like a cookbook without any food to cook.

Old vagabond had become good at transcendence of the world; but he had begun to discover that is not all of purpose. The world has purpose. To be very crude, the world is a game that god is playing. That includes and even requires the vast ignorance of people in the world. However within that ignorance some awareness of god has been necessary; awareness that is necessarily limited.

People have great diversity of sets of limited awareness; both as individuals and as communities. The development and evolution of religion has been an aspect of human awareness development. In other words god has created the wide diversity of humanity in their limitations and ignorance and has provided religion and spiritual culture for their development.

Christianity was once a great innovation of religion. Many of the major world religions have historical beginnings; however each religion has its own myth of its origin which is well known. The human history of that development is mostly not known; and speculation, even by academics, is not knowledge.

Religion is not history. Myth is much more important than is commonly understood; and much of what modern people assume is history is actually more of myth than knowledge of what did happen centuries ago. What is put into writing is only a small fraction of what happened in the past; and anything in writing can be distortions if not fiction.

However the myth that is foundational to a human community can lose its power. Human beings can lose their faith, not only in a religious community but in a secular community. However people who lose their faith can discover faith in a new myth and a new community of awareness. The task of old vagabond was to somehow develop a new myth.

Amy was happy in her recently developed solitude. Novels portrayed people who seemed more profound and in some ways more real than her past experience with friends and relationships. She could not help but judge contemporary society as relatively vacuous and most people seemed focused on trivialities much of the time.

People lived in a thick fog of limitation. Music often had to be loud and harsh just so they could feel anything. Too many had to get fall down drunk to escape chronic anxiety and depression that could not be solved for. Weed was also a common escape that gave everything a false profundity that dissipated in the harsh light of societal reality.

Amy had no solution for others and most people were not looking for a solution; and they barely realized the limitations of their lives. She had not such a realization until a mysterious knowing broke through her habitual mind almost two years before. Since then she was on a search for that which seemed of purpose, not at all a conceptual understanding, but an unfolding intuition. And the search was going to go on for years in the future.

Amy had for many weeks dismissed the small posters on utility poles she saw downtown. Until one morning the sun shone full on one and she just stopped and stared. "Mariatheos Mother of all Life", she stood and pondered that, and then started on a long walk while thinking about it. Heretofore Amy was confident in her dismissal of religion. 19th century literature did not dismiss god entirely but mostly did not focus on Him. The drama of people was mostly secular. The Russians focused a little more on questions of god than the English; but Amy understood what she was reading as portrayal of an aspect of an individual's mind and not as a question about reality. However on her walk she seriously considered the question of God. It was easy to dismiss the idea of God; too much suffering in the world and too much hypocrisy in religion seemed to indicate the absence of God. From her intuition however, the questions of creation of life and the world and especially of the complexity of human experience were not satisfyingly answered by mechanistic explanations.

Amy's walk took her to Huntington street and when she saw the large grey stone church , she looked up at it and paused. Her mind quieted, and a realization developed: many people experience spiritual awareness. Whatever ultimate reality is, it is possible for a person to experience something they might call god or that confirms their belief in god. There need not be any argument or debate; either you experience something or you do not.

What had developed for Amy over two years was a partial detachment from the common everyday set of assumptions that make up modern contemporary secular culture. Her immersion in 19th century literature was an alternate reality. She had become more comfortable with the mystery of life rather than blocking it with a shared set of modern awareness that included much false certainty.

It was Saturday afternoon; Saint Mary Star of the Sea church was open for the sacrament of reconciliation, also known as confession. She saw some people enter the church. Impulsively she decided to enter also. Amy sat alone towards the back of the church; there was no worship service at that hour. She had seldom been in a Catholic church before. She was overwhelmed by the large beautiful space, and was mesmerized by the wonderful stained glass windows. She was amazed such a treasure existed in the city ignored by most people not belonging to the church.

Amy Hunter sat for a while. Surprised she heard in her mind the same woman's voice that spoke to her seemingly from a painting she was working on, two years ago. "Amy my darling, welcome home; not this church necessarily, but this openness to reality beyond your past knowing. " Amy was in shock, but in spite of some fear, experienced a subtle joy.

After a while old vagabond stopped putting up small posters with the words: Mariatheos Mother of all Life. He did not know if there was any effect from the previous months efforts. He had felt guided to do so and later he felt guided to stop. Old vagabond knew the world was a resultant realm; and he was happy to be a very very small actor in the evolution of awareness in the world.

It was evident to him that the high point of accomplishment of global patriarchal civilization was past. Recent trends indicated its slow decay. To be crude and a vast exaggeration, everyone was disillusioned. There was little faith in progress any more; there was little faith that technology would solve for anything important.

People still had faith; different religions and spiritual teachings contributed to people having faith. Mariatheosism was old vagabond's discovery of religion, but no one else participated. The small posters were his first attempt to share a little of this not yet known religion. It seemed like a fool's task. However for a long time old vagabond had accepted being a fool in the world.

Old vagabond was convinced not only was patriarchal civilization in slow decay, but also patriarchal religion was in slow decay. He believed there would be a long transition where matriarchal religion would develop and some societies would become more matriarchal. During any transition confusion is more prevalent than certainty. Although the future is not known; the past has become unreliable as a guide to the future.

Although old vagabond's communion with Mariatheos was not at all continual; he had enough experiential awareness of Her that he felt Her encouraging him to sometimes take on the role of trying to communicate Her new religion. So he was guided in writing stories that were a metaphorical portrayal of some of the principles of Mariatheosism. He wrote about Fredonia, the church of Fredonia in america, and about the fraternal order of Fredonia. He hoped that somehow the stories might contribute to a future church of Mariatheos.

John Smith saw one of the small posters taped to a lamppost on his way to work. Somehow he could not stop thinking about it while he was busy washing dishes. A continual relatively boring routine is conducive for thought unrelated to the tasks at hand. "Mariatheos Mother of all Life"; the phrase repeated itself in his mind. Although John was dependent on Saint Mary Star of the Sea church for the necessary but unfortunately limited peace of mind he maintained; he was not really Catholic. Much of religious doctrine as recited during Mass did not mean much to him. God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit did not make sense to him. This was an ancient formula for the mystery of god that insured that God remained a distant mystery. The parts of holy scripture read at church were disconnected fragments of story and doctrine that seemed to belong to an ancient people he could not understand. However the church was a comfort to him, and contemplation of the mystery of God was a source of grace.

Sometimes the ache of longing for Elizabeth physically hurt and could have induced fits of crying if John did not control himself by what was in effect a focused meditation to remain quiet. After some months that state of contemplation was accepted as beneficial; for there were some moments of peace. It was then that John had some moments of prayer to a not known god (which eventually became prayer to Mariatheos) and a sense that prayer was answered with grace.

Unfortunately grief of various degrees of intensity was chronic. Thus he welcomed work as it often displaced experiential grief; and he worked as many hours as possible. He did not go to bars to solve for loneliness and sadness. He had a fear of people; he did not want friends who could get him into trouble; and he did not want to meet a woman who could put him in the same dilemma he ran away from. So it was good he worked most evenings anyway. But after work he quickly walked back to his room; where he might have to face his grief again.

For a small number of people in New London and the surrounding area who saw the small posters in downtown New London, the phrase "Mariatheos Mother of all Life" was not only remembered, it was remembered again and again. And often each time the phrase entered their mind, they were surprised and even annoyed.

Mostly it just did not seem real.

Their idea of god was not Mother of all Life, and God's name was not Mariatheos. But they all had in common a not tightly held belief in what god was. They were at least somewhat open in their spiritual awareness; and at some point annoyance turned into reflection.

Questions in their mind were considered such as: Could god be mother? Does all life have one source? Is there one creator of all life? Is it not natural that the creator of all life is Mother? Why is the idea that god is Mother so strange? How did god as Father become near universal? Can one pray to God Who is Mother of all Life?... Why not?

The church of Mariatheos was located at 38a Green street, in a previously vacant retail space. Painted with translucent acrylic paint were 5 very large panels of half inch thick clear acrylic hung from the high ceiling about a foot from the large windows facing south and west. On each painted panel shown an abstract colorful portrayal of Mariatheos. The walls inside were painted a range of shades of blue and green, with accents of purple, silver, and gold. In the church of Mariatheos there was no altar, just a low platform against one wall and facing it were rows of simple comfortable chairs. Along another wall were tables upon which were a coffee maker, trays of food, bottles of beer and wine, and a pile of booklets.

The gatherings were held Wednesday evening and Saturday afternoon. A gathering was mostly music, singing and guitars. There was a 20 minute talk, some chanted group prayers, and 10 minutes of silence. After the organized worship people stayed up to an hour for conversation, food and drink.

The future church of Mariatheos was on the corner of Green and Golden streets. Amy spent 5 months preparing the space, painting the walls and the large acrylic panels, before the church opened. There was no sign indicating it was going to be a church. Most passersby assumed it was an unusual artist studio that perhaps at sometime in the future might be open to the public. People could see Amy painting; the glass doors were locked and a small sign read: "Artist working. Please do not disturb."

Lucy was a server at a restaurant on Golden street. On some afternoons on her way to work she passed by the future church and spent a few minutes looking at one of the painted acrylic panels that Amy was not working on. Lucy was enchanted. The colorful abstract portrayal of a woman was perhaps 8 foot tall, and radiated power and yet somehow also compassion. She was a Queen, of some not known realm.

One afternoon Amy walked near where Lucy was standing on the other side of the window. Lucy looked at Amy and smiled; Amy returned the smile and gestured towards the door. Amy unlocked the door and invited her in. They sort of both recognized each other as sisters almost immediately.

Amy told Lucy of how over months, her prayer life deepened so that she was blessed with visions of Mariatheos in Her wonderful shining Glory. Amy was guided to rent the vacant ground floor retail space of the building where upstairs she was already renting an art studio. She was to prepare the physical space for a future church of Mariatheos without knowing how the gathering of people would develop. In fact Lucy was the first person Amy had told about her enthusiastic devotion to Mariatheos.

Because of Amy's gushing testimony about love of and from Mariatheos and the larger than life paintings of Mariatheos Amy had completed, Lucy felt an intense awareness of Mariatheos being God.

After her talk with Amy, Lucy went to the restaurant where she worked. In spite of her tasks she had moments of contemplation and felt an awareness of Mariatheos. Lucy had a conversion experience; and she was filled with new and exciting joyful experience of communion with God. Mariatheos loved her and she loved Mariatheos.

There was not yet a church where Lucy could share such Love. So when Lucy got home she got out her acoustic guitar and softly spontaneously composed and sang songs of Love of and from Mariatheos into the dawn. When she finally rested she was not only quietly joyful but she knew her purpose.

The next day Lucy took her guitar to the future church of Mariatheos. Amy was glad to see her but was surprised and overwhelmed by Lucy's songs. After 40 minutes Amy just started crying and reached out to hug Lucy.

One afternoon while Amy was painting and Lucy was playing guitar and singing, a woman slightly older than either of them knocked on the glass door. Amy unlocked the door and invited her in, but had a slight sense of awe. Sandra spoke first, "please forgive what might seem presumptuous; Mariatheos has told me to be leader of this church. I am overjoyed to see what you have accomplished. This space is worthy of Her." Then turning to Lucy, "could you be so kind to play a few songs?" After a while a smiling Sandra said, "You are wonderful, and your music is a great joy!"

Amy and Lucy had no argument with what she said; only surprise and excitement that the church was becoming closer to reality. There was also relief, especially for Amy. What she had done and the money invested (some interior renovation had been necessary) was motivated only by faith. She knew she was not given the responsibility (nor did she have the capacity) for the gathering of the people of the future church. But clearly Sandra could take responsibility for the development of the church of Mariatheos.

Sandra left the church she grew up going to after the pastor tried to seduce her. Because it was not totally overt, she knew he would deny it and no one would believe her; so she said nothing but stopped going. Her parents did not challenge her; many if not most teenagers stopped going to church.

When she was in college her antipathy towards the christian church in general developed as she learned how historically it was often complicit in the oppression of various peoples by the powerful. She did not look past the sociological and historical aspects of religion to consider the possible spiritual aspects of human experience. That was until Sandra saw the words "Mariatheos Mother of all Life" on a small poster on a lamp post in downtown New London.

Because Sandra had associated patriarchal religion with patriarchal society she felt justified in rejecting religion. To be very crude she thought no matter how nice Jesus was, his father was a bastard. The old testament Jehovah seemed pleased at times to slaughter men, women, children, and even animals.

Mariatheos Mother of all Life was a completely different idea of God. Obviously most christians would reject the notion that god would slaughter the innocent.

However no matter what twists and turns contemporary christian theology traveled to distance God from the God portrayed in some of the old testament, because Christianity did not reject the old testament, Sandra was forced to reject Christianity.

Mariatheos Mother of all Life is not the old testament god. When Sandra was standing on the sidewalk in front of this new idea of God printed on a small poster, in only a few moments of contemplation the void that is the absence of spiritual awareness began to fill with awareness of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. She did not at the time tell her sister who was with her much about her spiritual experience; but in a few moments Sandra knew her life was going to change substantially.

Sandra's conversion was not gradual. When she got home she sat in a comfortable chair and began to pray by contemplation of Her name. Sandra just felt a communion, a gentle love, and the conviction of Her reality; Mariatheos Mother of all Life.

After Sandra saw the poster with the phrase, "Mariatheos Mother of all Life" she experienced a full conversion; her awareness of and from Mariatheos was substantial and mostly persistent, with the usual fluctuations of human spiritual awareness. But Sandra was in a quandary as to what to do. Usually people have a church to share their spiritual awareness and enjoy being in fellowship. Sandra felt alone; and for the first time was envious of the christian church. Her critique of Christianity softened considerably; although for her God was Mariatheos, she intuitively knew that somehow God was a unity dispersed to thousands of different communities of awareness of God. Not only the great diversity of religions but the great diversity within each religion were all somehow within the vast unity of God. She was not going to worry about how god was experienced by a small Hebrew tribe 3000 years ago. But tolerance is not necessarily full acceptance.

There was not yet a religion for Mariatheos. A Google search of Mariatheos yielded multiple women named Maria Theos; they were obviously Greek or of Greek heritage. Sandra was in a quandary, either accept her awareness of and from Mariatheos was only personal, or try and find community. Perhaps it would be necessary to try and facilitate the gathering of a community that worships Mariatheos. She was in confusion; so she realized she had to have faith Mariatheos would solve the problem for her.

Sandra began to search for how others worshipped God as Mother. There was a lot to discover; but she was not quite satisfied with what she was discovering. She both related to the experience of other women and felt a little alienation. Nothing matched her awareness of and from Mariatheos. Sandra started to keep a journal of her insights gained during contemplation.

The angels of Mariatheos were gathering Her church. About a dozen people who saw the small posters awakened to Her presence. Some of them shared their growing enthusiasm with a close friend or family member, who because of an already established close personal rapport could naturally receive a flow of grace from the others communion with Mariatheos.

Angels were spirit guides who, if there was enough openness, directly communicated with those who were in communion with Mariatheos. If openness was not quite enough, angels could give emotional indicators for guidance. They could nudge the person in the right direction.

One Saturday afternoon after Sandra and her sister Mary had lunch at a restaurant on Bank street, they walked down Golden street towards Green street. Thru the large windows of a previously vacant retail space on the corner, the sun shone full on the panels, ten foot high, some of which Amy Hunter had completed. When Sandra saw them she stopped and stared.

Mary recognized an even more intense prolonged focus from her sister than a similar stare more than a half year before when they were together and Sandra was looking at a small poster on a lamppost on Bank street. But Mary was also focused on the colorful larger than life paintings of a woman just inside the large windows.

Finally Sandra turned to her sister, "it is Her, Mary, it is Mariatheos! Obviously this is going to be the church of Mariatheos. I am not the only one!" Mary gently corrected her sister, "Of course you are not the only one. Do you not remember I believe in Her also?" Sandra quickly responded, "I am so sorry, of course. But I mean others also know Her. This wonderful artist knows Her magnificently. But I am not yet going to introduce myself. Let's go have that pint of ale at Dutch Tavern."

So they turned the corner on to Green street and went inside the old tavern just across the street from the future church of Mariatheos.

The Dutch Tavern was perhaps about a century old. Inside the relatively small space was the wooden bar and five round wooden tables. The tavern sold only beer and wine; it served food only for lunch. There were old photographs of New London on the walls and some mysterious memorabilia displayed in cubyholes along the wall behind the bar.

Mary and Sandra each ordered an ale at the bar and brought them to the table they sat down at. Sandra blurted out, "Mary forgive me, but I strongly feel that I will lead the church. I have been reading and studying and after seeing the home of the future church I know I will soon write a dozen talks I want to give, and even more later. I know a group of people no matter how well intentioned can generate conflict and look to a leader to resolve disagreement by choosing the path to journey foward on even if there is confusion among the members."

Mary replied, "Sandra, I feel you are the right person. But it is probably more likely you are the only person who even wants the responsibility. Leading a small church is the opposite of being for instance a well paid manager at a large company. You will gain nothing and give everything." Sandra laughed a little, "I guess you are right. But not only do I want to lead the church, I feel Mariatheos wants me to."

After a moment Sandra continued, "Thank you Mary, your support is of such great value. I am so happy you know Her also. Otherwise I would feel not only totally alone but perhaps fear I might be crazy. Partly that anxiety has motivated me to learn as much about religion as possible. What we believe, if others gather also, would be called a new religious movement. There are thousands but most in America are variations of christianity. The Mormons and Jehovah Witness were two 19th century new religious movements that have grown very large. But each one begins really small."

John Smith was at first excited that a church of Mariatheos was going to have worship meetings in March. But when March turned into April he still had not set foot inside. His fear was strong and he did not understand it.

One night after work at the restaurant, instead of going home, he walked up Bank street to State street, cossed the railroad tracks next to the train station and walked to the far edge of the city pier. He started to cry and then he knew why he felt he had to avoid going home. To cry in his room would have been an intense humiliation as many others would have heard him. Most men do not tolerate other men crying. But far out into the river no one could hear him.

At one point he cried out to Mariatheos, "Mother please help me!" He did gain some calm and heard in his mind an angel tell him: "John, it is ok. You do not need to join the church yet. But your grief is foundational. If you find focus you will find a solution; but it will take time. Spend some time in meditation each day. Have faith." After a few minutes, John slowly walked home.

After that night John redoubled his focus on meditation.

He practiced a simple basic form of meditation. He just sat in a chair and tried to observe his thoughts and emotions.

Most of the time thoughts and emotions are just experienced without any detachment; defacto experience is assumed to be reality. But at times without distractions (such as internet media or television) it is possible to realize awareness of experience reveals awareness which is distinct from experience, and which is really who you are. Thus who you are is a mystery once you realize the content of awareness is not really who you are.

But in the world everyone acts as if some content of awareness is reality; it seems each self in the world is real.

It was difficult for John to persist at meditation for more than short periods of time. Experience was often painful. He understood his grief was foundational, it was often experienced, and it was not always associated with memory of Elizabeth.

Over many months John could persist at meditation for longer periods of time. He experienced more moments of quiet mind; and importantly he experienced some moments of guidance from spirit guides.

John learned grief is foundational to human existence in that separation from the unity of reality generates grief. However attachment to others compensates. The most basic attachment to others for a child is to their mother. But that attachment decreases in different ways and more quickly for some than others. Romantic love is often a common attachment that seems to solve for barely unconscious foundational grief; but either romantic love cannot be attained or it falls apart after a while; and often then grief becomes conscious.

John was given the promise that with enough meditation, he could gradually decrease his foundational grief and increase his awareness of Love from Mariatheos. And when his awareness of Her Love was strong enough, he could join Her church.

The church of Mariatheos in New London was a gathering of mostly women. They were overjoyed to have each other as sisters and brothers in worship and celebration of Mariatheos Mother of all Life. The group slowly grew from about 25 people to 50 people over two years. They were inwardly focused; they were not interested in spreading the word; they had no missionary fervor. Of course many more people knew of the church than whom were members. Some were curious and visited once or twice; but most of such visitors decided not to join the church.

The group was not concerned there were so few men who joined. After almost a year of inward personal spiritual growth, John Smith joined. He was happy to be there but soon understood why he could not join sooner. The level of joy of the women would have been too much of a conflict with his often conscious grief. He knew it would not have been possible for the awareness of others to solve for the limitations of his own.

As for old vagabond, angels told him to please stay away from the new church for at least a year. The church was to find their own way without any influence from the wisdom he had.

In May, more than a year after the church opened, old vagabond attended a worship celebration at the church of Mariatheos in New London. Although he experienced the joy of the group's worship and celebration and the beauty of the music and the art, he was a little uncomfortable. The worship had a sensuous quality to it that somewhat conflicted with his interior prayer life. He knew he would not come back; however he was very satisfied that there was now a church of Mariatheos.

The next week he arrived a little early at the church but was not going to stay for the gathering of worship. Before the worship began, old vagabond went up to Sandra and gave her a plain loose leaf binder full of stories he had written. Before Sandra could look, he smiled full at her and simply said, "Mariatheos bless you and this church! " and quickly walked out the door.

When Sandra opened it the first thing she saw was the poster they were all familiar with, "Mariatheos Mother of all Life". Sandra realized the old man was the one who created it and posted copies around downtown more than two years before.

A talk by Sandra Oakfield at the New London church

Hello! Welcome to the first gathering to worship Mariatheos in New London. So much gratitude we have to Amy Hunter who by extraordinary faith, rented this space and worked months to transform it into this sacred space of Mariatheos. She by wonderful communion with heaven painted these radiant images of our Mother of all Life that flow forth with Her Beauty, Power, and Compassion.

Now, obviously life in the world has much suffering. So how do we reconcile our awareness of suffering with our awareness of Mariatheos Source of Life and Love? It is by acceptance of different realms. This realm of the world which often seems as if it is the totality of reality is only a small part of total reality. Thus simply the more awareness we have of Heaven, proportionally awareness of this realm of suffering decreases.

Thus Heaven is much in the world because Life itself is from Heaven which is the fullness of Mariatheos. Our awareness of Mariatheos is inherently limited compared to Her unfathomable Reality. She IS Heaven and Heaven IS Her! But when we visualize Her we might subtly reduce our awareness of Her infinite Source of Life. So although we know Her as Mother we must not confuse Her with being only human. We know her as Mother and thus in intimate relationship but we know Her as God, Creator and Source of all Life. Thus a fundamental principle is that most often what seems to be contradiction is just from our resistance to acceptance of different coexistent perspectives. Reality is both complex and integrated. It is our failure to accept reality that causes problems.

Ironically wisdom is to know not to reduce complexity into conceptual understanding. To just be in and accept reality in its totality. Thus capacity to be aware of different perspectives is from full awareness; not from reduction of reality into conceptual systems which are inherently limited. If you suspect that is a major limitation of society, then with just a little faith you could realize the evolution of society requires a restoration of our capacity to have nonconceptual wholistic awareness. But perhaps we need just enough understanding to avoid intimidation by others who want to incorporate us in their limitations of awareness enforced by conceptual systems. In other words wisdom knows how to protect innocence. My talks will be as short as possible. The fullness of religious awareness is mostly communicated by music and song. That is how we worship and gain experience of Life and Love from Mariatheos.

A talk by Sandra Oakfield at the New London church

Hello! So glad you are here. How is worship of Mariatheos unique? Most obviously it is that the totality of God is known by the fullness of Her as Woman and Mother. Although it is true the Universality of Source of Life can be known via all other religions; most religion we have been familiar with portrays god as man and father. An unavoidable conclusion is that our idea of ultimate reality is limited by our patterns of society. Thus some understanding of patriarchal society is necessary for understanding religion which contains patriarchal assumptions. Conversely if we worship God as Mother our awareness of community and society will shift. Unfortunately much of the needed progress for women over the past century has been limited to a large degree by most women's acceptance of much of the many assumptions within society that persist but severely limit full awareness of life.

Although patriarchal society seems to have been for the benefit of men, it has also benefited women. It is false and much too simplistic to reduce the complexity of society throughout the world and throughout history to just an understanding of men's dominance. The key factor in patriarchal societies has been war. War has been waged by men but men also die in war. Societies throughout history have oppressed, exploited, and enslaved men as well as women. So any privileges men have been given by society coexist with the demands on men and the sacrifices of men. Women have had a different set of privileges, demands, and sacrifices. Any reduction of the complexity of society into rhetoric that justifies ones resentments is false. However societies change and evolve. Past patterns of oppression and limitation can decrease; but since everything is interconnected a simplistic understanding of change might be false.

The great transition society is in has many aspects some of which we can be aware of. But the totality always will be much larger than whatever aspect we might focus on. This transition is much more than just a decrease in patriarchal patterns within society. Not obvious is an increase in matriarchal patterns. A key and foundational awareness that unfortunately on average has decreased to some degree in modern society is the awareness of being mother. This is a tragic unintended consequence of the gains women have made; by increasing participation in institutions that traditionally belonged to men, women have on average suffered decreased capacity, opportunity, support, and even motivation to be mothers. This is a controversial statement but it does not benefit women to pretend there has been no cost to progress. And especially this is NOT an argument to go back to oppressive patterns of community. But it IS an argument to go forward and discover more life affirming patterns of community. Specifically matriarchal patterns which are different than just a decrease in patriarchal patterns of society.

Old models of relationship have broken down; new models of relationship have barely evolved. Many people suffer from being mostly alone or in relationships that are mostly broken. Matriarchal community barely exists. However that is a major purpose of this church; to discover new patterns of community in which women have responsibility for its capacity to affirm life. To be blunt, instead of complaining about broken relationships we could be participating in the growth of new kinds of relationships that are very different from past expectations of how things should be. But this is only possible if Mariatheos is Source not only of our life as individuals, but also our life as community. As we learn to cooperate and truely nurture each other, some of us might become surprised that what we thought was necessary for our happiness was illusion and from false assumptions. For most women it is false hope and not possible to attain a good marriage. Many of us have no choice but to be without a man in our lives. But it is possible to thrive even so.

A talk by Sandra Oakfield at the New London church

Hello! So glad you are all here. You all have great courage. We are a small group but we are venturing far out to sea. We will discover new patterns of spiritual awareness and community. Unavoidably at times the process of incremental transformation will yield fear. Which will require courage to stay the course. As we spend more time together and develop more capacity for Love from Mariatheos, how we will relate to each other will evolve. Unavoidably this church might seem to others unusual or strange. It takes some courage to suffer others' judgments. Now, Mariatheos is Mother to us but that does not include indulgence of our self centered nature. Being self centered is not avoidable; but it inherently yields suffering. Thus suffering could motivate us to accept Universal Life from Mariatheos, but knowing Her Life is Universal should decrease our self centered and thus false awareness.

Once Mariatheos starts to pull us closer to Her Love, that which conflicts with Her Love decreases. Unfortunately our false awareness resists its decrease. Thus decay of false self seems like suffering until we realize it is false and accept its dissipation. Which often then allows an infux of Her Love. Thus although resistance generates distress, resistance decays. We cannot force the process either for ourselves or for others. At best we are wise to our purgatory, at worst we struggle against it and wail how unfair. Be warned, this community is not going to give you much sympathy for your struggling self; we will just acknowledge the difficulty of your personal purgatory but join with you in celebration of attainment of grace. That celebration is most intense when we gather here together to worship Mariatheos Source of all Grace.

Before any of us knew Mariatheos, we were in purgatory probably without understanding it as such. We developed capacity for Her Love that much later has been filled; perhaps relatively quickly so that we had an experience called conversion. But eventually more capacity must develop; coexistent false self must decrease more. It is the process of development that is persistent. Usually experiential grace is not continual but is recurring, in cycles. However as a community the fluctuations of personal awareness average out. Sometimes at worship you feel directly Her Inspiration; sometimes not as much but might share in anothers inspiration. The great difference of a religious community with a primarily individual spiritual path is that the community displaces some of an individual's responsibility for their spiritual state. To some degree people in a church surrender to the church community and the community can carry them.

Our communion with Mariatheos is within our personal awareness but also we envision Her as Universal beyond our personal awareness. You have joined Her community outside of yourself but also to some degree awareness from Her church community is part of you. This involves surrender of personal awareness both to Mother of all Life and to Her community. It is normal to resist that kind of surrender. Yes, it is common for people to have suffered oppression within various communities to some degree and to be justified to some extent in their distrust of different communities. But alienation is not joyful; self reliance is much less possible than the romantic notion of it suggests. So perhaps desperation has pushed you to trust us. However that trust is only possible because together we worship Mariatheos Mother of all Life and trust Her to bring us closer to Her Love. Even if at times our purgatory is very difficult. Fortunately at times we have faith and grace. At our worship gatherings we gain an extra portion of Grace from Mariatheos because together here we are especially focused on Her. In some ways we are are within Her Heaven here in Her church!

13 New York

Sarah Stonington opened another gallery in soho. It was a large square space with high ceilings and large windows. It was a gallery showing the work of only one artist, Amy Hunter. She had resumed painting after completing her work on the space that would become the church of Mariatheos in New London. At her studio she kept painting portraits of Mariatheos, mostly using colorful iridescent acrylic paint. She also painted abstract landscapes of her visions of heaven and a few abstract cityscapes of heaven; those required the deepest trance states to envision. Almost all her paintings, that after half a decade filled most of two studios, were shipped to manhattan. They were hung on two large brick walls of the new space as well as on 4 movable display walls set up as a large square in the center. An intricate set of track lights mounted on the ceiling had each light focused on an individual painting.

The Ouranos gallery opened in september 2025. Half the paintings were not for sale; small and medium sized slightly abstract colorful portraits of Mariatheos were for sale, but for a couple years few sold. However the gallery had a large number of visitors. There were simple wooden chairs scattered about that let visitors rest and perhaps be in contemplation. There was no feeling of sophisticated art world intimidation. The gallery seemed welcoming. There was no sense that the gallery was only for potential buyers; indeed that was not the purpose of the gallery. The purpose was to offer the possibility of awareness of and from Mariatheos.

Also available at the gallery was a book with an elegant binding containing elaborate decorative drawing and stories from old vagabond. They were about Fredonia, the church of Fredonia in America, and the fraternal order of Fredonia. These mythic stories communicated some awareness about the inchoate religion of Mariatheos.

Slowly over years, some people who visited the gallery developed awareness of and from Mariatheos.

On one wall in the center of the gallery was posted a short paragraph about the artist, and a longer artist statement.

About the artist: Amy Hunter grew up in Greenwich Connecticut.

After attending Connecticut College in New London and majoring in studio art, she rented a studio in New London and became a full time artist. Her work sold at several galleries in towns and cities along the Connecticut shore.

Artist statement: Everything seemed to be going well for me for many years. I was fortunate to go to a small college that I loved. I was passionate about art and was a prolific painter. Others enjoyed my work and my paintings sold. I had friends that I loved and a couple satisfying long-term relationships. I enjoyed going to restaurants and to clubs to listen to live music.

Everything was going well until some spiritual force threw sand in the gears. I developed a severe nagging doubt that my life was meaningful. Over a year everything changed. But by becoming reclusive and inward focused and adjusting to loneliness and subdued sadness, there developed an openness to spiritual influx. After I saw on a downtown lamppost a small poster with the words, "Mariatheos Mother of all Life", within a month of contemplation Mariatheos became God and Mother for me fully and absolutely. Everything I have painted since is from awareness of and from Her. Most of my paintings are visions of Her; but some are visions of Heaven. May Mariatheos bless you!

Old Lyme

Sarah Stonington grew up in Old Lyme Connecticut. When she reached thirty years she finally moved out of the large house she had lived in all of her life. Her mother was only somewhat sad to see her go. Arguments had increased each year for over a decade. Jessica could not pretend her own feminism and progressivism were wrong to any degree. She only had limited tolerance for her daughter's political apathy. It was difficult for Jessica not to take offense at Sarah's slightly sarcastic skepticism about her mother's world view. Sarah focused only on culture and was a total romantic, but a slightly timid one. Otherwise she would have moved out earlier in her life.

A couple years earlier Jessica's mother had died. She spent the last six months of her life in a nursing home nearby. Ruth was almost business like when she got the diagnosis but was fierce in rejecting hospitalization. When she could no longer take care of herself even with much help from hired caregivers in her own home, she had no choice but to leave her home in Manhattan. She moved into the nursing home in Connecticut with resignation and grief.

Ruth let Sarah know that she had left her townhouse on Thomson street to Sarah. Ruth implored her granddaughter to move into it and not sell it. Ruth told her she needed to have a life of her own, she was unknowingly suffocating in a comfortable cocoon. It took Sarah a long time to get used to the idea. She did not seriously consider acting on the opportunity until a year after her grandmother's death.

For about a year Sarah just visited her eventual home a few days a month. Sarah was a part time instructor at the Lyme Academy of Fine Arts. She had gone there after high school and completed its fulltime multiyear program.

Sarah's mother had been painting for decades but only really started selling her work after discovering the magic of the internet. After diligent internet search and communication, she was able to find gift stores and small galleries across the midwest that loved her water color seascapes, which could sell well if priced below two hundred dollars. Actually it was many years without selling her work that motivated Jessica to accept only gaining approximately eighty dollars a painting for herself. But eventually she was able to sell quite a few. Perhaps it was also the gushing appreciation of her paintings by the midwestern gallery owners that partly compensated for her relative failure in the art world.

Obviously the Stonington family did not need to make money. But money alone does not make a life. Both Jessica and Sarah judged themselves as relative failures in life.

Jessica kept her family name after being married. Robert had no objection; he tried to be progressive in his attitudes. He loved Jessica and gloried in her love. He was a computer engineer at General Dynamics in New London after he graduated MIT. They met at a party on Block island and that summer (although guests at others' summer homes) spent some time together on the island. Other times that summer and into the fall, Robert drove to Old Lyme and wined and dined Jessica in Mystic. In other words he had enough romantic sensibility so as to enable them both to forget the mundane world. But when they got married their limitations almost immediately started to slowly grind their marriage into dust.

The major not quite conscious problem developed when Robert moved into Jessica's grand old house in Old Lyme which she briefly lived alone in after her mother gifted the house to her and moved to Manhattan. And probably her increased anxiety of living alone (of course she outwardly told everyone how glad she was to live in such a beautiful historic house) made her susceptible to an early and perhaps hasty marriage. But although Robert loved the house, he did not love the fact that she owned it and he did not.

Robert's barely conscious humiliation was chronic and generated a chronic susceptibility to bristly irritability. If Jessica talked a little too long or seemed to criticize his opinion, his irritation became voiced, even if perhaps sometimes not directed towards Jessica. But it did make him hard to be with often enough. Which in turn tended to steel Jessica in her convictions. If Robert was stormy then Jessica had to anchor herself to her own mind; there was nothing else.

A baby was born and their mutual focus on the miracle of life softened them both for a while. But usually unvoiced judgment about the others parenting grew to reinforce their alienation from each other. Which became intolerable at some point , especially when they suspected their arguments were hurting their daughter. So when Sarah was six years old, Robert moved out.

It was a large house built in the 1920's and Jessica loved it. She knew from occasional outbursts from Robert that her house was a factor in his unhappiness. But he knew her financial position before he married. That her larger wealth than his made him feel emasculated, unfortunately he realized too late. Obviously the house was a constant reminder, but did he want her to give her wealth away and move into a small condo with him and be financially dependant on him? The breakup of the marriage fueled her feminism. Obviously men were only happy if they subjugated women. Women played grateful if the man earned most of the family income. And everything seemed nice and normal, until he mistreated her or abandoned the family. Women were either too vulnerable or too miserable if dependency on men was the expectation of normalcy.

During Jessica's lifetime women gained more economic independence. But two working parents means some unavoidable neglect of children to some degree and a lot of stress and lack of sleep. Jessica had seen this in the marriages of some former friends who were less well off than she. Occasional snide remarks about Jessica having it easy in life drove Jessica to avoid them. So when Robert left, Jessica was very alone. She had Sarah but love for her daughter only compensated somewhat.

Similar to many Americans, Jessica found an outlet for her unhappiness in a political world view that focused hostility on specific patterns of society. Often some groups or types of people would become subject to harsh judgement. Thus although in society world views are very different what is unfortunately too common is that some people within certain groups of people hate other groups or types of people. America has multiple locus of resentment and conflict.

Jessica's hostility towards patriarchy was not a total rejection of men. She was attractive and especially if focused on a man she was attracted to, her charisma enabled her to get what she wanted. But she engaged in romance as a game she could enjoy, but not to the point of marriage. No one was going to move in full time. Her boyfriends were house guests from time to time. However her sense of family was limited to her and Sarah. House guests did not overstay their welcome.

Sarah grew up in a grand old house suffering chronic low level conflict of her parents. Even after her father left the household her mother remained a slightly intimidating presence. All this forced Sarah into an early self reliance which was facilitated by the many comforts of an upper class household. She could explore and get lost in the house in safety and security. Toys, dolls, children's books were her companions. When she went to a good private school attentive and even indulgent to its young students, she felt loved and secure. Friends came to her house and played and studied with her for hours. Her mother was just attentive enough to take care of the children's needs but mostly left them alone. The circumstances of Sarah's life did not change much as she got older. Her friends were a constant comfort most of her life, except she suffered some grief when they dispersed to the four corners of the world after high school. That happened again after she graduated the art academy and began that difficult phase of life called adulthood.

The problem for Sarah was both there was not a need for nor did she have much capacity for full participation in society as an adult. Many young adults fail; some end up in prison, homeless, or dead. So although privilege kept her from suffering from her failure, an absence of privilege would not necessarily have forced full participation. One road she was not going to take was make the mistake of making marriage a life that could slowly disintegrate. But she had no desire to make a career her life either. She was not driven to compete with hundreds of thousands of hungry young people willing to make the necessary sacrifices. In any case by going to art school after high school she already had made her decision not to pursue a pragmatic career. She had little hope of success via painting; teaching art part time just seemed the natural thing to do.

Giving up her part time teaching job at the art academy was the most difficult loss from moving to manhattan. Only because it was starting to get boring was she willing to give it up. But it was the only source of community she had; the staff were her friends even if no one was a close friend. She knew it would be impossible to find a similar job in New York. She had not the stamina nor the credentials to teach full time in the public schools. In any case thousands of graduates from art schools from all of the united states descended into New York hoping to gain a place in the art world. Teaching was the last option before giving up entirely. No, she knew she was going to be alone. Her alienation from others had been incrementally increasing for years. Sometimes she resented her grandmother for giving her such a difficult gift to accept. Sarah did not have much courage; but living with her mother and a part time position at the art academy could not be the entirety of her life. After she turned 30 a sense of urgency propelled her into a new life.

New York

Being alone in manhattan was only tolerable because Sarah immersed herself in its museums. The Metropolitan museum is a small city. Sarah had the time and capacity to spend many minutes in contemplation of one painting or object of art at a time. She could come to the Metropolitan again and again and see something new. Some days she would take a taxi to the most northern place in manhattan and visit the Cloisters, a museum of medieval art. And there were numerous other art museums she visited. Although she went to the museum of modern art she avoided the Whitney. She shied away from most contemporary art and she did not much go to galleries. Although Sarah was immersed in art she lost interest in painting. Her grandmother left one room as an art studio but Sarah barely used it. She did however cary a sketch book with her. She was not at all focused on creating art work for others.

Ruth Stonington started to paint after her husband died at sea when Jessica was ten and her younger brother was seven. The whole family was in grief; but shock turned into dissociation for all three. Because Ruth became distracted and distant, Jessica and Christopher had to go inward also. Except they both increased their focus on school. Christopher flourished in college, went to grad school at Stanford and stayed out west. His wife, her family, and their family became his world. Traveling east was a burden and avoided. Both his mother and his sister seemed independent enough not to miss him. The few times he visited new york to visit his mother he did not bother to visit Old Lyme. Jessica however had found college difficult. After graduating she anchored herself to the house in Old Lyme with a tenacity Ruth could not help but notice.

Ruth was bored with Old Lyme. Over a decade and a half of painting gave her a secure inner realm of self awareness. It was time to take the show to a bigger venue. She bought the townhouse on Thomson street before real estate prices reached the stratosphere; and she gifted the Old Lyme house to her daughter.

Ruth made sure her paintings were shown to the public by investing in a small art gallery that depended on her for periodic loans to keep it afloat. She knew the other partners and she knew the record books. They never tried to cheat her. They were grateful to her and she was grateful to have a place to show her work. Sometimes one of her paintings sold. Although her style was old fashioned, her paintings had enough impressionist and abstract qualities to not be a total embarrassment. Other work in the gallery was much more contemporary.

Sometimes Sarah felt her grandmother's presence in the townhouse. At first it was faint and she doubted its reality. But over years as an inner reality Ruth's presence was not resisted. When Sarah was most open Ruth spoke to her. "Sarah my beloved, loneliness is the Stonington curse. However you should know millions of others suffer loneliness also. But you have been blessed with a purpose you cannot know yet. You are part of historical forces that are of centuries duration both past and future. The accident that ended your grandfather's life early was not random. It had a purpose. The grief that has afflicted the family for three generations has had purpose. You have my love and you also have the love of many angels." Sarah had similar communications from her grandmother from time to time. They were a comfort to some degree. But they were also of much mystery. Mystery she had to accept could not be solved for.

Although Sarah was not religious, her immersion in the museums of manhattan slowly developed intense spiritual experience. Her contemplation of a painting allowed awareness of or from alternative reality to develop; as if she were in a waking dream. After many minutes she would regain awareness of the painting she had been focused on. After years she had become so used to these shifts in awareness that the past discomfort and discombobulation no longer bothered her. She was sane enough to know her awareness was personal; and to be crude no one else had to know. But she was motivated to read books on others' mystical awareness; and often she recognized similarities to what she experienced. When in contemplation of a religious painting (often from the middle ages) her mystical awareness was more religious, but mysterious, with little correspondence to religious doctrine.

Ruth made sure her granddaughter would be well taken care of. She set up the Sarah Stonington trust that had enough capital to generate a generous income. Plus it paid the property taxes and insurance on the townhouse and had a property management company pay all utilities and do necessary maintenance. Ruth did not quite trust Sarah would be able to take care of the details of life. In that she was correct. As Sarah's mystical awareness increased her capacity to handle the world decreased; and that did not recover for several years. She could barely cook a meal for herself; and ate at restaurants or bought prepared meals to take home. She dressed in increasingly eccentric fashion; not necessarily expensive but borrowing from global folk cultures. Ruth's share of the Wakefield gallery also went to Sarah (held by the trust). When Sarah visited the gallery she was welcome.

The Wakefield gallery was in an ambiguous but potentially difficult financial position when Ruth Stonington passed away. Over a period of about three decades she had extended one and three quarter million dollars worth of loans to the gallery. Although she never asked for repayment, the loans were on the books and the Sarah Stonington trust now held the loans. Ruth had left instructions for the trust that no action should be taken to collect on the loans unless Sarah directed it to do so. The other partners of the gallery together held most of its equity. But if the loans were ever called due, probably most of the partners' equity would be handed over to Sarah to satisfy the debt. So they being indebted to her were careful to be deferential. Whether Sarah knew the financial details or not was not clear. Thus she was welcome at the gallery and her opinions were considered and never overtly dismissed.

Sarah had exquisite spiritual intuition. Although she did not understand much of what others talked about and did not care much about what she did understand, she was never dismissive or arrogant towards others. She showed enough quiet engagement so as to be considered a considerate woman, never offensive and only sometimes awkward, definitely eccentric but slightly amusing. At the gallery she asked to sit in on discussions about which artists were going to be accepted to show their work. For about a year she just observed and learned mostly without venturing an opinion. However she also observed which artists did well at the gallery and who did not. Only once did she express an opinion that was defacto a veto. One artist's work contained acts of violence and sexually explicit imagery. When examining photos of the paintings she exclaimed, "how horribly vulgar; and it is nothing new; just ugly."

As Sarah's influence increased over several years, the gallery became more successful. Importantly the three other partners were evolving both as people and in their aesthetic awareness. To be overly simple, they were becoming more spiritual. However the fortunate development was that there was more of a market for beautiful and mystical artwork than for what was being shown at the gallery previously. In hindsight the partners realized they were captives to trends in the art world that seemed innovative and exciting but were really just elaborate games that some artists were playing with image and aesthetic. Which they convinced others to subsidize. Sometimes that was the gallery that gave them the opportunity for the prestige of displaying their work; which really few people wanted to buy. But part of the game was the exchange of affirmation by the elite group that appreciated the artist's work and the gallery that was insightful enough to show it.

Old Lyme

Sometimes Sarah visited her mother in Old Lyme. Jessica was slightly pleased and amused at Sarah's slow transformation into a full fledged eccentric with a strong sense of autonomy. If she was at all jealous of the benevolence of her own late mother towards Sarah, she did not reveal it. Ruth had given Jessica more than enough to keep her well taken care of.

After Sarah had moved out it did not take long for something to shift in Jessica's heart; and a very good man became her second husband. Mark was kind and strong enough to be her man. Slightly submissive and indulgent of Jessica's whims; but self assured enough not to be hurt by her fluctuations of mood. And he was there for her in countless ways. Her gratitude was large. And she used her capacity for giving emotional affirmation to make sure on average he was very happy with her.

New London

Sarah had a friend in the area who had a showing of her paintings for a month at the Hygienic art gallery in New London. Robin picked Sarah up at her mother's house in Old Lyme and took her to New London so they could visit the gallery. Sarah liked Robin's work and she liked Robin. They had lunch together and walked a bit about downtown. Not far from the Hygienic art gallery was a former retail space on the corner of Golden and Green streets. Just inside the large windows were five very large paintings. Each painting was of a larger than life beautiful woman, slightly abstract and very colorful. The two friends stood on the sidewalk and looked at them for about twenty minutes, which was not long for Sarah but was longer than comfortable for Robin.

Robin asked Sarah, "how about we go to the Dutch tavern over there (on Green street) and have a pint of ale?" Sarah noticing Robin's discomfort quickly agreed. The Dutch tavern was very old but charming. Sarah took an immediate likeing to it. After they sat down at a table with their ale, Sarah asked Robin, "is that an art gallery?" Robin replied, "no, it is a church, the church of Mariatheos. Everyone I know in New London knows about the church, but no one I know goes there. I guess god as a woman is better than god as a man; but the whole idea of god just seems ridiculous to me. No offense, Sarah, if you are one who believes." Sarah said nothing for a while. Robin got caught up with the game of European foot ball on television; as were most others in the small tavern.

New York

Eventually the partners of the Wakefield gallery negotiated with Sarah to erase the debt the gallery owed her by giving her majority ownership of the gallery. Sarah was acknowledged as having the best intuition as to which artists to show. She was not bound by any art world assumptions. She would as seriously contemplate photos of work by someone from Cincinnati as those of someone from Brooklyn. Reputation was not a consideration. Only the work itself was important. The name of the gallery, after a transition period where both names were used, became the Stonington gallery. Sarah sensed her grandmother Ruth was well pleased.

The Stonington gallery gained a clientele who had high incomes but were outside of the community of collectors that other elite galleries served. Sarah was immune to others' criticism of the artists she represented and was successful at encouraging those artists to dismiss such judgment. Provincial, decorative, boring, lacking imagination, etc were common judgments by others in the art world about the art work shown at the Stonington gallery. But those who bought paintings from the gallery only cared that they were beautiful and gave a mysterious subtle joy when viewed. Which was sustained when the painting was displayed on a wall of their home. Often such buyers came back to the gallery a couple times a year for years. For the artists chosen to show their work, the gallery took care of everything: shipping the work to the gallery and back to the artist's home or studio, travel and hotel in New York for the artist's opening at the gallery. For a number of artists throughout the United States, being accepted at the Stonington gallery was a providential miracle.

After discovering, seemingly by chance, the Church of Mariatheos in New London, it took only one visit to the church for Sarah to be fully committed to the worship of Mariatheos. Sarah rented an apartment in New London near the church of Mariatheos. She tried to travel from New York to New London twice a month and stay several days. She wanted to attend church gatherings. Sometimes she hosted catered dinners for a few of the church members. The conversations were long and insightful. Sarah not only developed a deep communion with Mariatheos, but she also learned about others' spiritual awareness and the dynamics of a small church community.

Danielle and Elizabeth became co-managers of the Stonington gallery. Sarah had purchased the equity still held by two of the original partners of the Wakefield gallery who wanted to cash out after several years of being mostly silent partners of the Stonington gallery. She could then retain majority ownership while giving Danielle and Elizabeth each ten percent ownership of the gallery if they remained as managers for at least ten years. Part of their job was to reach agreement on all decisions. So part of their job was to discover ways to reach consensus. Because they knew that required some capacity to transcend the limitations of ones personal mind, the job required a spiritual focus for each of them. Sarah was available two days out of the week to resolve any persistent disagreements they had. Sometimes this was by video conference if she was in New London.

At the age of fifty Sarah had been focused on devotion to Mariatheos for about half a decade. She had been helping financially with the growth of the New London church which had to find and move into a larger space. However she knew she had the purpose of eventually bringing knowledge and worship of Mariatheos to New York. But she had to wait until that was possible. Partly she had to wait until the New London church was mature enough so that members of the church could help inspire and contribute to the development of a church in New York. But Sarah also had to continue to deepen her communion with the angels of Mariatheos so that she was attuned to their guidance without much resistance. It would take many successive miracles for the accomplishment of such an endeavour. However Sarah's discovery of Mariatheos was such an intense miracle that Sarah had little doubt that there would soon be a church of Mariatheos in New York.

Sixteen Sundays a year the Ouranos gallery hosted an afternoon concert. The center display walls were moved to the side and many more chairs were placed on the floor. The performers came from the church of Mariatheos in New London. Three guitarists and five vocalists were all members of the church and the songs had been written by a few members of the church over the years. The first few concerts were a little difficult for the performers who were comfortable participating in music and song at their church, where there was no judgment. They needed to pray a little deeply so as to feel protected by the angels of Mariatheos; but thus they also gained a sense of their service to Her spiritual church which was slowly communicating with more of the world. They were just blessed to have discovered the church of Mariatheos early in its development in the world.

Ten other Sundays a year, Sandra Oakfield, who was leader of the New London church, gave a talk at the Ouranos gallery. Although the size of the audience for her talks was smaller than those for the performances of music and song, those who came were sincere in their interest in what she was saying. Often the question and answer portion was longer than her talk.

Sarah Stonington was very pleased at what had developed over a few years at the Ouranos gallery. Some people had discovered Mariatheos as their Mother of all Life. A few had communicated their gratitude for the existence of the gallery. Some of them bought a painting to be the focal point of their home altar. But she was also getting a little pressure from some people to start a church. A few people who discovered Mariatheos in New York moved to New London so as to be able to participate in the already established church of Mariatheos there.

A talk by Sandra Oakfield at the Ouranos gallery New York

Hello. So happy to be here. My name is Sandra Oakfield and I am privileged to be the leader of the church of Mariatheos in New London. Our church has grown from about two dozen people to over two hundred over several years. So far we are the only church of Mariatheos that exists. Sarah Stonington who created this magnificent gallery, about five years ago visited our church and quickly grew close to Mariatheos and has deepened her communion since then. This space is her gift to New York; so that some people can begin to gain a little awareness of Mariatheos. This is not a church, most visitors to the gallery probably do not have communion with Mariatheos; they are not here to worship. But all of these radiant paintings are of Mariatheos and Her Heaven. Amy Hunter who is a founding member of our church painted all of them. So my talk is not to a church community but to people who have some interest in learning something about this strange new religion of Mariatheos. Thank you for being here.

Let's say I told you about a beautiful wonderful town on the Pacific coast called Carmel by the Sea. Many go there for vacation and some are lucky enough to live there. Let's say you wanted to go; you would fly in an airplane from New York to San Jose or San Francisco and then take the Monterey bus to Carmel. But what if I told you that the only means of transportation you could use was a bicycle ? Preposterous, but let's say that was your only choice. Would you go by bicycle? Very, very few people have bicycled from New York to the west coast. It is possible but almost no one does it. The allegory is to point out that those who have religion have awareness of their God by a means that is defacto a gift of fate. They are delivered to their destination by means which are beyond their power and understanding. But what is important to understand is not everyone is given those means. Thus those without religion have no choice but to be skeptical. They might believe there is no value to religion and perhaps that those with religion are fools.

What I am going to do is describe the path from secular awareness to religious awareness; it is not really possible to follow a path of understanding from secular mind to religious awareness. However if someone studies as much of that path as possible, perhaps something in their mind opens and holy spirit gifts them with spiritual and religious awareness. So people who are interested in spiritual matters might be waiting for such an experience. Let me begin where many of you are and that is having secular contextual awareness. That is you believe the physical world is all that exists and is somehow causal of everything within it. Thus all of human awareness has ultimate origin in the physical natural world. This is an assumption! That assumption is joined with either a simple or complex set of ideas about reality. People who are very intelligent might know more about all the complex sets of conceptual knowledge that confirms the assumption. Others cannot be bothered to learn about that but agree with those more learned that share the same basic assumption about reality.

If you have secular contextual awareness, perhaps a key understanding is that it is awareness. A foundational aspect of being human is awareness. An extreme idea, but perhaps very useful, is that awareness is who we are, is all of who we are. Everything and anything you know is a pattern of awareness. Even the human body and the physical world are only known within our awareness. All of human language and all ideas are modalities of awareness. I am sorry to be repetitive; but if you accept that your awareness of reality is a set of awareness, this might help you become open to other patterns of awareness and ultimately different awareness of reality. Perhaps you might not be open to that. Another observation is that patterns of awareness tend to persist. Thus people resist change to their basic patterns of awareness including attitudes and assumptions. Usually they do not change by force of argument; and even conflict with others' attitudes and assumptions does little to change people's foundational awareness.

As I portray secular contextual awareness and some hypothetical paths towards spiritual awareness, it is possible for you at any time to have an insight transcendent of your common awareness. Insights are usually ephemeral and common awareness is persistent. But after experiencing enough alternative awareness it is possible there is some acceptance of spiritual reality beyond common awareness of reality. Then life is experientially an alternation of these seemingly conflicting modalities of awareness. At this point you might adopt an already existing spiritual system of understanding or develop an adhoc personal synthesis of various existing systems. There are thousands of books by different writers descibing spiritual cultural systems of understanding. Many are within a larger but diverse set of a traditional religion but many are not. A great multiplicity of diverse spiritual culture is available to explore.

The church of Mariatheos is only one spiritual cultural awareness community out of a vast number. Although many people grew up within a religious community and have continued their participation into adulthood; many people perhaps since adolescence have been on spiritual search. Many have explored multiple spiritual systems or spiritual cultural awareness communities. Different spiritual cultures can coexist and not necessarily conflict. In these times you can choose which to explore and perhaps to settle within for a while. But choice can also be understood as fate. You cannot explore everything. But you will not settle somewhere until it feels like it could be home. Thus it can be dissatisfaction with purely secular awareness as context or home that motivates spiritual search. Or it could be dissatisfaction with spiritual awareness communities previously participated with. If your spiritual search has led you here, I am overjoyed to share some of the spiritual culture from the church of Mariatheos.

A talk by Sandra Oakfield at the Ouranos gallery New York

Hello, and welcome to all who are here in this beautiful space.

Some people know Mariatheos is god, but that is not how everyone else knows or does not know god. Universal god that can be known in a multiplicity and diversity of ways is also fully and totally known within the intimate relationship of someone who knows Mariatheos as their Mother of Life, both universal Source of Life and personal Source of Life. These are just a couple of perspectives of universal eternal spiritual life. It takes wisdom to go beyond the hold of a foundational aspect of western cultural awareness which is pervasive dualism. If one thing is true the other thing is false; if one thing exists the other thing does not exist. this type of foundational pattern of thought pervades all knowledge systems that have evolved in western civilization.

In the 19th century some within elite circles of western society began to egage with eastern religion and philosophy. This engagement has grown so that since world war two, eastern spiritual awareness has been available to anyone who wants to explore it. Also there have been more teachers born in the west who have made available spiritual knowledge sourced from the great eastern religious traditions. The church of Mariatheos has developed after a half century of millions of people in the west exploring and adopting alternative religious and spiritual awareness. Paradox, coexistence and inter-relationship of seemingly conflicting ideas, fluidity of perspective, are all more accepted.

We worship Mariatheos because we know She is available to us even as millions of others worship other Deity or God by other ways which are available to them. Many but not all others believe their worship is the only possible one and all others are false. Thankfully almost no one tries to force others to worship their way. Then why make the claim the church of Mariatheos is evolutionary? It is because our church is matriarchal. Matriarchal community is evolutionary; it solves for extensive alienation that most people experience to some degree. It solves for many problems that most families have that persist without solution. Matriarchal community involves the cooperation of larger groups than the normal family. At a future talk more detail will be provided about the patterns of matriarchal community. However it is only possible to have viable matriarchal community if the community has matriarchal religion. The community must be immersed in Love from Mariatheos to sustain their love for each other which then enables a high level of mutual support and cooperation.

Because of our understanding that infinite Source of all Life manifests as Mariatheos to us because we focus on Her, we can be supported by myth but do not need to be convinced it is historical. In this we are supported by postmodern understanding of all narrative. Postmodern critique has deconstructed the truth claims of western conceptual systems and revealed them as narratives coexisting within a multiplicity and diversity of narratives. This has greatly supported the ability of oppressed and marginalized peoples to assert their counter-narratives. The church of Mariatheos takes this a step further by creating or discovering narrative and myth that affirms our spiritual and community awareness. Thus in this postmodern era not only is it realized absolute historical knowledge of reality is not possible, but it is not necessary in order for community to be affirmed by their myth and cultural narratives.

If you take the postmodern tool of deconstruction far enough then all thought is revealed to be in some fundamental sense false. This supports the Buddhist spiritual idea of emptiness. Experiential emptiness is often gained by meditation and contemplation, from observation of and detachment from not only thought, but emotion, sensation, memory. Obviously reality continues but experiential emptiness allows different awareness of reality to develop. Acceptance of dissipation of familiar and habitual patterns of awareness allows an influx of new patterns of awareness. These might be spiritual. A shared way of experiencing spiritual awareness is a spiritual cultural community. The church of Mariatheos is one such community out of diverse tens of thousands. Such awareness communities are not necessarily organized. You can participate in discovery of awareness from Mariatheos without joining a church.

If you focus on Mariatheos as Mother of all Life perhaps you will experience life from Her. It depends on your capacity. Capacity develops from decrease of persistent common and habitual awareness. Some form of contemplation is helpful, observation of how extensive within common awareness are emotions, attitudes, assumptions, memory. Unfortunately resistance to decrease of common awareness yields distress before you can via contemplation observe and detach to some degree. Thus gain of emptiness which allows gain of Her grace is a purgatorial process. Grace, even if great joy and love, can dissipate. Thus purgatory is a continual process of incremental discovery of life and love. Perhaps you are in such a purgatory. This gallery is a space available to you for contemplation and prayer. Mariatheos bless you.

New York

Sarah had been told by angels that it would take much time to prepare for a church of Mariatheos to open in New York. Before that happened the number of people who worshipped Mariatheos must increase and their awareness of and from Her must deepen. On a pragmatic level enough people who were willing to give substantial financial resources would be necessary to buy and renovate a building for the church. Angels had cautioned her to avoid the seemingly easier path of renting a space or sharing the use of an existing Christian church. The Church of Mariatheos in the Spiritual Realm needed a fully dedicated and consecrated space for communion with the people in New York who would form Her community. American society was mostly hostile to awareness from Mariatheos. Within the world only a slow revelation was possible. Although each person who discovered Her was grateful; most people in society had almost no capacity to know Her.

Rachael Maplevale attended every talk and concert at the Ouranos gallery. She was at the gallery a lot to just sit in contemplation and be in prayer; and she had once bought a small abstract painting of Mariatheos. One day Rachael was sitting in the gallery in the early afternoon when Sarah came over to her and introduced herself. Rachael got up and reached out to hold Sarah's hand, smiling fully and with some intensity almost whispered, "thank you for this wonderful gallery, thank you! Mariatheos bless you." Rachael had a few tears from the corners of her eyes roll down her face. Sarah almost wept and held her other hand and they just stood there silently smiling at each other. Angels had already told Sarah this woman was the one to lead the church.

Sarah asked Rachael if she would join her for lunch. They went to a restaurant nearby. After ordering Sarah began, "Do not be shocked but angels have asked me to ask you to lead the formation of the church of Mariatheos in New York." Rachael said nothing for a minute but drank a little wine. "Yes, l am not as surprised as you might think. Angels have been telling me something similar." Rachael continued, "Angels have been suggesting to me for months that I have an important role in the church of Mariatheos. But I could not be certain if that was not grandiosity on my part which distorted their communication. Obviously it is a great responsibility and a great difficulty. Ultimately Her angels are responsible so I can have faith. But unfortunately fear is limiting joy, which surely will be experiential eventually. However thank you so much! I hope we will work together as much as possible."

They both ate in silence for a few minutes. Finally Sarah said, "I for one have great joy the ship is getting outfitted to sail. Finding her captain is paramount." She could not help but smile fully at Rachael. Sarah continued, "Yes, we have much to do together. But you understand this is a full-time position with moderate pay. Can you give up what you are doing now?" Rachel responded, "Yes, I am a teacher and I just need to stay thru June." Sarah, "Good, formally your job starts in August; but informally we should talk over the next few months; ok?" Rachael extended her hand across the table and they shook hands. Rachael replied, "Yes, wonderful! Mariatheos bless us and our new church." After lunch they left each other both feeling a subdued joy.

Saint Mary's Roman Catholic church was walking distance to Madison square park and walking distance to the office space of the church of Mariatheos in New York. Saint Mary's had been closed for years but the New York diocese was having trouble selling it. Nothing taller could be built on that parcel of land because the development rights had been sold decades earlier and transferred to a different building site. So when the church of Mariatheos was finally ready to purchase a building, they made an offer to the diocese for Saint Mary's and it was accepted. Whatever misgivings Catholic church officials within the diocese had about this new heretical church they did not make public. But a few of them were relieved the church building would not be turned into a night club.

Sarah Stonington was subsidizing the organization of the church of Mariatheos in New York but not the church itself. Rachael and a staff of four others worked out of a relatively large office space that contained a large conference room. The board of major contributors to the church met once a month. To be crude they mutually encouraged each other to give more to the capital fund. Only when it was large enough could the church organization buy a building and renovate it. But at the same time the inchoate community of people who had some awareness of Mariatheos had to grow both in depth of awareness and in numbers. This developed by visits to the Ouranos gallery, personal conversation, social media, personal contemplation and prayer. There was no organized promotion of the church. Growth of interest in the religion of Mariatheos developed mostly by an expanding network of informal communication. For those who wanted more knowledge, a few books had been published.

A talk by Sandra Oakfield at the Ouranos gallery New York

Hello! So glad you all are here in this extraordinary and beautiful space. Many people already know God as Mother, so why a religion of Mariatheos? A diversity of spiritual cultural communities is how original source is known in this huge diverse world of humanity. Thousands of spiritual teachers write books and give talks. Millions of communities gather for shared spiritual awareness and are to various degrees different from each other; within the same religion they can be different.

The religion of Mariatheos is just beginning. Inherently it includes a synthesis of previously known expressions of spiritual awareness. Most important is the Marian aspect of Christianity which is most developed in the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches. 2000 years of Marian devotion have a very rich legacy of awareness of Divine Mother.

Worship of Mariatheos elevates Maria the human mother of God, to Maria Mother who is God. This of course totally conflicts with Christianity. Catholics and Eastern Orthodox deify her to some degree, but lower than the Trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; protestant christians do not deify her at all. So the religion of Mariatheos is post christian; it rejects much of Christianity. The religion of Mariatheos is consciously postmodern. It uses myth to support its awareness but can ignore traditional myth. The new religion boldly reinvents myth to contribute to awareness of Maria as God. Thus only that which supports our awareness of Mariatheos is included. Jesus as Deity can be included; but the Mother creates and is superior to Her Son. Also non christian spiritual ideas can be included in the religion of Mariatheos. To some extent there are common ideas within different religions and spiritual teachings. Similar spiritual awareness can be portrayed by different spiritual cultures.

Mariatheos is source of all Life.

Mariatheos is universal eternal Life.

However there is a fundamental duality of Life and Void of Life.

Thus Mariatheos coexists with the Great Void.

Life from Mariatheos enters the Great Void and creates infinite patterns.

Thus some patterns are not eternal and not universal.

This great principle explains all of reality. But most of reality is not known. Thus we are limited by our extremely limited knowledge. So humility allows the realization of our intrinsic limitations. Although we can gain knowledge, it will still be limited. But we do not need much knowledge. We have life. If we just focus on life, we can enjoy our life; which is the portion of eternal universal Life given to us. Thus full spiritual awareness is simple. What is complicated are our extensive patterns of limitations of awareness.

We are in purgatory. Extensive limitations of our awareness of life persist. However those limitations can slowly and incrementally decrease. We are on a journey of discovery of Life. The angels of Mariatheos guide us. But the journey is often difficult. Experientially our limitations might become more intense; this forces us into uncomfortable contemplation of our experience and awareness. At times it is necessary to accept emptiness of awareness, or awareness of emptiness. This allows a letting go of assumptions and attitudes that are emotional, habitual, and joined with our sense of self, with who it seems we are. If we accept emptiness, we realize our self awareness has been false. Our assumptions and attitudes have been false. Unfortunately those realizations dissipate; and we go back into false habitual awareness of our self and the world.

Our purgatory contains cycles of awareness development.

Incrementally we transcend limitations of awareness and then return to those limitations.

The process is endless and progress is not obvious. Each cycle has its own dynamic. Gaining moments of spiritual grace is obviously wonderful and perhaps we have gratitude to Mariatheos for our awareness of Life; for some people perhaps at times awareness of Her Love. Unfortunately experiential grace dissipates; and our purgatorial process is not avoidable. Fortunately also not avoidable is recurring spiritual grace. A church gathering joins us in some shared moments of spiritual grace. But each of us goes back into our purgatorial life. In fact a church is not possible unless there are enough people who have made enough progress on their spiritual journeys so that they can accept its difficulty.

Void or emptiness is a foundational aspect of reality.

Acceptance of emptiness is necessary for spiritual awareness development.

Some awareness of emptiness (some acceptance of emptiness of habitual common awareness) allows higher spiritual awareness to flow into consciousness: transcendence, spiritual life, spiritual love. Thus although our church worships Mariatheos, people have limited awareness of and from Her. Although some people have more capacity than others, the community of our church in New London is slowly growing in our awareness of and from Mariatheos. There is not yet a church of Mariatheos in New York; but some who have come to this beautiful space have awakened to awareness of Her. It is my conviction that slowly there will be growth of the number of people who know Mariatheos Mother of Life.

New London

Two years before she opened the Ouranos gallery in New York, Sarah Stonington was very involved with the church of Mariatheos in New London which after a few years had outgrown its original space. She guaranteed the mortgage of the building the church moved into and paid for its renovation. It was an old church building that had changed hands several times as it slowly decayed. Repairs and renovations cost double the cost of the building. But after the renovations the congregation moved in and held two weeks of celebrations and festivities open to the public. Church membership grew faster than anyone expected. Sandra Oakfield was busy and it was good she was paid a salary and could work full-time as pastor. But once the New London church was secure in its new home and it's leadership confident in their ability to serve the growth of the congregation, Sarah turned her attention away from the church in New London and focused on her purpose in New York.

New York

One room of Sarah's town house in New York was her home chapel. Paintings, by Amy Hunter, of Mariatheos and of Heaven were on the walls; inbetween the paintings were hung abstract tapestry. On small tables were wood statues of Mariatheos inspired by the paintings but carved by sculptors commissioned by Sarah. She sat in a comfortable chair and spent hours a day in contemplation and prayer. At times she wrote in a notebook some of the guidance she was given.

It took less than a year of work for the Ouranos gallery to be ready to open. About two years after the gallery opened the office of the church of Mariatheos in New York opened. And about another two and a half years later the actual church of Mariatheos in New York opened. It was located in lower midtown near Madison square park. Rachael Maplevale was the church's director but Sarah gave most of the talks during worship gatherings. However there were guest speakers for many of the talks.

When the church of Mariatheos in New York opened in 2030, America was almost as divided as it was a decade earlier; but demographic change pushed the nation in a more progressive direction. However much was still the same. It was evident to some that secular progressivism had no hope of solving the multiplicity of problems in America. Over the previous decade the loose coalition of spiritual progressives had grown larger and was a larger presence within political, academic, and cultural discourse. Although their influence on institutional patterns of society was limited, spiritual progressives had a major influence on culture. Movies, video, literature, music, increasingly had spiritual themes. Romantic love almost ceased to be a focus of cultural work, even in popular culture. Culture often focused on the drama of personal decay or even disintegration, and a person's recovery and renewal by their focus on some form of spiritual awareness development. Few people believed anymore in the myth of redemption or salvation from romantic love.

In the third decade of the 21st century there was only a church of Mariatheos in New London. It would be much more difficult to start a church of Mariatheos in New York. Sarah was gaining knowledge as to how Holy Spirit of Mariatheos was slowly developing Her church in the world. Although Sarah knew the universal source of Life is known thousands of different ways including by the diversity of Deity who are Mother; It has been fate for a small group of mostly women to know universal source of Life as Mariatheos. Sarah must avoid judgement of other's spiritual and religious awareness and yet accept her fate to know Mariatheos as Universal Mother of Life. It was a basic principle of wisdom to know a multitude of different perspectives coexist. Angels of the spiritual church of Mariatheos were helping the small community of people in the world who worship Mariatheos to grow. Mostly in New London but more recently in New York since the opening of the Ouranos gallery.

Once Sarah had committed to creating the Ouranos gallery, it came together in less than a year. As the owner of the Stonington gallery she already knew what to do and who to hire to get it done. The perfect space was already on the market. Renovations were completed in only four months.

Amy Hunter broke down crying when Sarah visited her in New London and told her she wanted to exhibit in New York almost all the paintings Amy had done over five years. All the paintings were of Mariatheos or of Heaven. Amy's awareness of her purpose fulfilled was so overwhelming that she was in a vulnerable state of shock for two weeks. Sarah stayed in New London those two weeks and brought Amy food, made her tea, and just sat with her as Amy mumbled prayers to Mariatheos and at times was overwhelmed with intense visions. The experience transformed Amy Hunter into a sage. She stopped painting and wrote spiritual poetry. Her smile was enigmatic; she was often an honoured guest at people's homes in the church community.

Years before the church of Mariatheos opened in New York, Sarah Stonington was a well integrated mystic. In other words the spiritual realm was fully real to her but she could participate in the world without effort. Necessarily she saw the world differently than most people did. She did not make the mistake of assigning causality to anything in the world; the entirety of the world was resultant. Life flowed through the Great Void and created the infinite patterns of the world. Some patterns were more persistent than others; but the meta pattern of time itself was resultant. So Sarah fully accepted the patterns of humanity even if she was fully devoted to developing the church of Mariatheos in the world. Thus she had great patience and had no frustration as to the time necessary for the manifestation of the church in New York. In any case the Ouranos gallery was a presence of Mariatheos in New York even if it was not a church.

A talk by Sarah Stonington at the church of Mariatheos in New York.

Beautiful blessings on you!

Thank you for being here. We gather at this church to celebrate our relationship to Mariatheos, Mother of Life and Love. Many of you began your journey of discovery years before this church opened and in fact years before you discovered Mariatheos. Since Life and Love are universal, other paths of discovery are just as valid as the path that leads to our Mother Mariatheos. But we are on this path; this way of knowing; it is our fortunate fate to know Her. A great gift She has given us. But it has come with a cost. Many of us have had to accept the loss of much we once felt was necessary; ways of knowing who we were and ways of knowing others. The loss of what is relatively false is actually a gain; but often not realized at the time. Resistance to incremental transformation decays but is often felt as suffering.

It is necessary to hold different perspectives that only seem to be contradictions. Everyone can gain some awareness of universal Life and Love from every religion and spiritual path; but we have discovered Mariatheos as our true source of universal Life and Love. What is true for us is not true for others. This is where it gets difficult; our church is evolutionary. Thus some of us believe eventually more people will adopt Mariatheos as their Mother of Life and Love. But we cannot be zealots, we cannot claim superiority, and we are not necessarily at a higher level of holiness than others. In fact many people are at a higher level of holiness in various other religions and spiritual paths. Our church is evolutionary because society has evolved so much that some patterns of traditional religion no longer facilitate awareness of universal Life and Love as well as previously.

The church of Mariatheos has an evolutionary role in society. We can accept our purpose and yet remain in humility. Actually it is not possible to participate in spiritual community without humility. So part of what I will talk about is how the church of Mariatheos relates to the past and it's possible contribution to the future. In modern society the dominant understanding of reality has been secular; a defacto atheism even if not voiced. Because religion has been considered outside of the common understanding of reality that everyone could agree with, the common set of understanding has not recognized as reality what religion has had focus on. Even though today and throughout the modern era people have participated in secular institutions and an increasingly secular society even if they have been deeply religious and/or very spiritual. But secular institutions have operated with awareness, understanding, and knowledge that have been limited to secular ways of knowing. In other words without regard to spiritual awareness or religion. This has proved to be a severe limitation for society.

Secular ways of knowing and understanding are inherently limited. People seek spiritual awareness and there is a great diversity of places and spiritual cultural communication that people can go to discover it. Many if not most people in America go to a Christian church; many do not. Our church is not christian but we are inspired by the Marian aspect of Christianity; however we have altered the myth so as to claim Maria as Divine incarnation of Mariatheos. We do not claim that this myth is historical and this myth is not necessary for worship of Mariatheos. Experientially we know the Source of all Life is Mother; however the representation of Spiritual Mother is inherently spiritual cultural or religious. Important: awareness of Mariatheos is personal and you should envision Her the way that most inspires you; and probably She will have the color that matches your own. Obviously if you hear Her or Her Holy Spirit or Her angels, they will speak to you in the language you understand.

Because spiritual awareness is portrayed metaphorically and there is a great diversity of cultural expressions of spiritual awareness, unlike secular understanding, there is little agreement as to how to understand spiritual reality. This diversity limits the ability of spiritual awareness to be foundational for society. Thus a very large common set of secular awareness cannot solve for its own limitations but spiritual awareness is not known as a large common set of understanding that would allow agreement. However as the search for and discovery of spiritual awareness grows in society eventually it might be possible to discover larger sets of common understanding. Many people in this church are part of that development even if this church itself is a distinct small unique set of spiritual culture. Because we know metaphor is not spiritual reality, some of us are fluent so to speak in other spiritual cultural metaphorical awareness and can participate in larger communities of discourse and cultural creation.

If the quality of our spiritual awareness of Life and Love becomes obvious that it is at a high level, then our church will gain participation from those who have motivation and capacity to discover what is available here. In other words the church of Mariatheos will grow. It is not at all a matter of discourse; some discourse is necessary for us as we struggle on our purgatorial journey. It is not about a struggle to prove anything to anybody; not even to explain our church to anyone. We are a church, we worship Mariatheos, Mariatheos is Mother of all Life and Love. That is all you need to tell anyone. If someone wants to learn more there is information on our website. Thus what you need to do is what you already do every day; continue on your purgatorial journey of discovery of more awareness from Mariatheos. More Life and Love. And come together to celebrate our relationship with Her here at the church of Mariatheos in New York.

A talk by Sarah Stonington at the church of Mariatheos in New York

Beautiful blessings on you!

Thank you for gathering here together this afternoon.

Not only can we not claim superiority for our spiritual awareness but we must accept the magnificence of others' spiritual awareness especially those within traditional religion. Although we are evolutionary that is much more about the cultural and social evolution of the world. This evolution is necessary but it is very early in its development. The slow shift from previously patriarchal civilization to future matriarchal civilization takes decades and perhaps centuries. The past is not wrong, it is just past patterns are decreasing and new patterns are increasing. The transition is full of confusion because it is not necessarily obvious what is slowly changing. Unfortunately there is much suffering from the limitations of existing social and cultural patterns. Sometimes decay is obvious but often it is subtle. To be crude people survive but many are not happy. They do the best they can but are limited.

People are often ignorant about the limitations of their personal awareness; and in spite of their engaging in much conjecture, people are mostly ignorant about the limitations of society. Thus there are thousands of ideas; some of which seem bizarre to those who do not believe them. However it should be obvious that there is no consensus. Thus we live our lives as best we can within both personal and societal limitations. However awareness can evolve and patterns of participation can evolve. Society also evolves but not necessarily much understood and not necessarily to everyone's benefit. Some people have nostalgia for the past but others are relieved that many of the past patterns of society have changed. Sorry to be saying such simple observations that seem obvious but my further discourse requires a foundation of what is obvious but is often ignored. What spiritual awareness allows is acceptance of our ignorance. That is because nonconceptual grace solves for fear that is often covered over by false certainty.

It is grace that allows humility. Humility can accept our ignorance is vast.

Grace allows faith. Faith accepts that we can participate with others and in society without much understanding. Especially without knowledge of the future. For us, we have worship of, contemplation of, and prayer to Mariatheos. Mariatheos is Source of our grace, faith, and humility. To be simple we do not need to understand much. Some patterns of understanding will develop but more importantly, often a prerequisite for capacity for Her Grace is a decrease in patterns of understanding that are realized as false. False awareness generates false understanding, false assumptions, and false attitudes. Thus false awareness is emotional, and even more foundational than that; our basic sense of reality, how we automatically perceive reality, is relatively false. Thus decrease of false awareness is incremental; it is not possible for everything to transform at once.

The church of Mariatheos has its utopian vision for society, but it is of course utopian. It is not possible for those patterns of community to be in the world. If it is someday possible it will be perhaps far in the future. However the foundation for that utopian vision would be widespread attainment of holiness. To try and put those patterns into practice without substantial levels of holiness would be either not possible or dystopian. So we have almost no social agenda as a church. As individuals you of course can participate at working for whatever reform agenda you have motivation for. But as a church there is no encouragement to do so. That our primary focus is on holiness, spiritual grace, awareness of universal Life and Love; our church is in some ways premodern. Society is the way it is and will change in not known ways. We as individuals and as a church community are much too small to have an effect. However the church has insights for some of those who seek spiritual answers. Obviously many other religious and spiritual communities can provide spiritual answers.

Although the utopian patterns of community portrayed in our church culture are not possible to manifest in the world; they can be a source of reference as to how our personal patterns of participation in community are developing. Thus even if many of you are married certain expectations for marriage might decrease. There might be more acceptance of what seem to be limitations of relationship; but it might actually be a false assumption that they are limitations. Thus if you do not feel close to the other person perhaps that is real and the expectation of feeling intimacy might be false. If, to be blunt, your physical intimacy level is decreasing, perhaps that is not as unfortunate as most people assume. If you do not have shared interests, perhaps that is just realistic. The myth of Fredonia portrays large matriarchal households and men living in their own larger households. Although we do not live like that, that ideal justifies so to speak any informal domestic patterns of relationship that are not what was once expected. In fact recent developments mostly do not correspond to what was once normal.

The chaos and confusion as to what are viable patterns of family life indicate society is changing. Perhaps eventually the utopian model known to our church will be adopted to some extent. But to some degree daycare and preschool already augment the small family and it's limitations. However it is the slow increase in holiness that affirms life no matter what patterns of community we have. And it is growth of awareness of Life that allows acceptance for patterns of relationship to change. Without a focus on holiness and awareness of Life there is often the false assumption that certain forms of relationship are necessary; and thus that generates much suffering if those patterns are not available or are in decay. False assumptions can block participation in patterns of relationship that are available or that could develop but do not match what we assume are necessary. The loss of what we assume is necessary might be experienced as grief, but acceptance of that loss can reveal awareness of Life none the less.

The loss of what is relatively false is necessary for the gain of awareness from Life, and participation from Life. We know the Source of eternal universal Life is Mariatheos; but others know Source in other ways. The bible has Jesus say they who know Him shall have Life abundantly. For us since Jesus is one with His Mother, that would be true. So it does not matter how people know Life. But if some people need to oppress others then there will be conflict. To go beyond the exclusivity claims of any community is evolutionary. Unfortunately modern secular communities of awareness subtly claim exclusivity by denying the reality of religious and spiritual communities. To go beyond the limitations of secularism and to go beyond religious sectarianism is a necessary aspect of the evolution of human community. The church of Mariatheos is a micro part of the evolution of human community; thank you for joining us.

An introduction by Sarah Stonington at the church of Mariatheos in New York

Beautiful blessings on you!

The love I feel for this church is a great blessing from Mariatheos and from you who gather here. A blessing is a privilege and at times a responsibility. Mariatheos has blessed us not just for our own satisfaction but for our contribution to others even if subtle or not affirmed. Thus many of us have in different ways given contribution to our church and received contribution from our church. But after several years since we first opened our church, Mariatheos is now asking us to make a great contribution as a church. Other churches and organizations contribute to the larger community in countless ways; and especially inspiring are soup kitchens and other service to those in need. However that is not what I believe our church is called to do. What I believe our church is called to do is what the next person to speak will talk about. Please give your consideration to what he says. Beloved congregation here is church member Michael Valeplain.

A talk by Michael Valeplain at the church of Mariatheos in New York

It is a great privilege to talk to you this afternoon.

As some of you know, I have been blessed and lucky enough to have been able to give much to the capital fund that paid for the buying and renovation of this beautiful church building our home. After years of joining with you each Sunday afternoon with awe and joy to worship our Mother of Life Mariatheos, increasingly during personal prayer She has been asking me to lead a fantastic project. I choose that word because most of you will not think it is possible. Sarah and Rachael have suggested I give a talk a few times during the year explaining this project. Hopefully slowly an awakening to a commitment to this fantastic project will develop within our church. Thus I do not expect you to believe in it yet. Believe me I have had much doubt about it for many months.

Sarah has told us she has received guidance not to try and organize a matriarchal household within our church community in New York. She has told us it would not work. The church does have (as many of you are glad that it does have) a very loving day care, preschool, and day school for grades k thru 8. This is a very great contribution to our church community but a matriarchal household is not yet possible. What the angels of Mariatheos have been telling me is that what is necessary is to eventually form a matriarchal cooperative community as a distinct geographical community. It would require and facilitate a high level of integration of people into community. This community would contain both matriarchal households and men's households. But also all the other organized participation of work, school, church, and culture. Work would include sustainable agriculture, sustainable technology and power generation, and of course construction of the new town itself.

Because I have been given angelic guidance and I have enough financial resources; I have already bought 1280 acres or 2 square miles of grassland in western Nebraska. If the systems built recycle water, there is no limitation to how we can live out there. If you say that is too far away and in the middle of nowhere; that is an aspect of the purpose for the new community. The goal is to have intense awareness of life as community. To solve for the massive alienation within modern society that our church has only partly solved for. The Amish prove it is possible to successfully live in a spiritual, cultural, and social community distinct and significantly different from most of society. To live within modern society and necessarily participate with modern society but to remain separate from it as much as possible. The real limitations are we do not know how to do it, do not yet have capacity or ability to do it, and probably for many of you, do not want to do it.

Although our church is evolutionary so far our church has not been that different from other liberal church communities similar to ours, of our average income group, such as Episcopal, Lutheran, Congregational, Unitarian Universalist, etc. Although our religion is different, so far as a community we are not that different. This project is a large leap into as of yet not known patterns of social community. The new town will finally manifest the matriarchal households that our spiritual culture venerates. Men will live in monastic households that facilitate the development of high level spiritual awareness that would allow men to fully accept the loss of personal domestic or romantic relationships with women, accept celibacy, and fully support the matriarchal households without desire for personal gain. The monastic community will encourage the development of autonomy and integrity of personal experience and awareness. Gross and subtle codependent awareness and behavior limits true spiritual community. This might seem judgemental but it is just a reality of human community. Obviously people who don't like the patterns of life in this new community should not join.

The new community will be monastic. The difference from older monastic communities is that it will include children. As in the myth of Fredonia sexual intimacy will be rare but sanctified. Babies will be born within the community; children will have as their home a matriarchal household. However almost always celibacy will be the rule. Joining the monastic community is voluntary and leaving the monastic community will be possible. Some children when they come of age will want to leave the community and provisions will be made for them. Thus all the rules of the monastic community are agreed to from commitment and motivation informed by some degree of wisdom and some awareness of higher level love from Mariatheos for Her higher level church community. The monastic community and it's rules might be mocked by those outside of the community; but it will be a great privilege to live removed from the brokenness widespread in society. However we can have compassion for society as it is; which is a great massive purgatorial realm. Within society some communities of higher level purgatory, closer to heaven, can exist. These communities eventually help society slowly move through its collective purgatory to a higher place.

This future community is up to those of you inspired by this idea, much more than an idea, and true inspiration is from angels and holy spirit from Mariatheos. She will inspire some of you and not others. This church here is important and must continue. Those of you who are inspired or who become inspired in the future, please join the committee which will have responsibility for this great project. We will have a closed internet group for continual communication, and meet in person at the conference room of the church office twice a month. There will be many months and probably years of discussion, planning, research, more discussion and gathering of financial resources before any construction takes place. Depending on who joins us much if not all of the specialized engineering and architectural work will be contracted. Please pray about this even if you do not formally join us. The church as a whole is doing this even if some of you think it is foolish. How much time it will take is obviously not known. There is much to discover about what to do and how to do it. Ultimately the angels of Mariatheos are creating this new community. So faith is necessary. Thank you so much for listening to me this afternoon. Mariatheos bless you.

A talk by Sarah Stonington at the church of Mariatheos in New York

Beautiful blessings on you!

Some of you were upset after hearing Michael's talk last week. Rachael and I have been busy talking to some of you and trying to dampen some of the anxiety evoked. Please realize there is no pressure from any of us at the church for any of you to join the creation of this new community. If not enough people want to participate then very simply the new community will not develop. Perhaps it can develop one or two decades from now. Please realize the patterns of the new community that Mathew described have little to do with how any of us live our lives at this time, in this church community, in New York. Everyone has complete freedom to live as they do. A higher level spiritual community is not a judgement on our spiritual community here and now. Anyway it is only at this time a possibility and not an existing community. However people do slowly evolve and what was once a life of satisfaction might eventually be realized as a limitation. This would be a determination that only the person living their life can make. No one can make that determination for another person.

Angels from Mariatheos are not only exceedingly patient, they know much more than us how the slow process of transformation of community develops. No matter how long it takes to create the new community, Holy Spirit from Mariatheos will create from Holy purpose Her new community. Please realize the creation of the monastic community of Mariatheos is only a beginning. The new community will contribute to the growth of the future church of Mariatheos. Specifically bishops and ministers of future churches will come from the monastic community. The church of Mariatheos is not growing faster in America because Mariatheos requires deeply transformed individuals to lead Her church, and people with significant potential for transformation to join each church. However many other spiritual groups and religious groups have deeply transformed leadership and members with significant potential for transformation. We are not unique as far as those qualities. It is only our spiritual culture and how we know Divine Mother that is unique.

The church of Mariatheos is matriarchal. It makes no sense to us that mothers cannot live a monastic life. Our assumptions about what a monastic life would be are prejudiced by past models of monastic life within patriarchal religion. In actuality it will probably look more like village life but without men living in the domestic household. The patterns of the men's households might look more like traditional religious monastic communities. However women and men will participate together in the community outside of their households. The key factors that will make the community a monastery are: celibacy, devotion to Mariatheos as highest constant purpose, and to some degree more limitations on personal choice than in regular society. Although the use of the phrase monastic community might evoke some false assumptions, the phrase is useful in that the community will be very different than normal patterns of community in society. The key hope is that within the new community, a higher level of awareness of Life and Love from Mariatheos will be possible. Thus in order to develop that greater capacity, giving up much of what is normal would be necessary.

Only those who become inspired will participate in the creation of the new community. If you are not inspired please realize that is providential also. The angels of Mariatheos are guiding all our lives and our contribution to the people in our lives. It is all necessary. We will see if anyone eventually joins the committee for the new community. I hope I have explained both the vision for the new community and how that vision does not at all judge our church as it is. The new community when it develops will be a daughter of this church. A mother should not fear if her daughter becomes a different woman from herself. A wise daughter is always grateful for what her mother has given her. A wise mother is always proud of her daughter. The love between them should always be continual. However this new community is very far in the future. The angels of Mariatheos have communicated to a few of us that eventually it will develop. How it does, we shall see.

A talk by Michael Valeplain at the church of Mariatheos in New York

It is a great privilege to talk to you this afternoon.

It was 5 months ago that I spoke with you about the great project for a monastic church community. I am grateful that so far 9 people have joined the committee. We have had much discussion and we have made some progress. The capital fund is already over 12 million dollars; several people not on the committee felt inspired to contribute. Thus I am now confident this church congregation has a significant level of support for the new community; and I have faith that level of support will increase over time. We have been consulting with a few different architectural firms for design suggestions for the community. Obviously nothing has been determined yet. This progress is very heartening but it is just the beginning.

The committee is planning to travel to the site two months from now. We are going to travel in two trucks each hauling a trailer. We will live on the site for a month and try and be open to angelic guidance as to how we should plan the first stage of the village. When we come back we will better be able to work with architectural and infrastructure engineering firms so as to create detailed design plans ready for construction. These plans will hopefully provide accurate cost estimates. Perhaps two years from now we will have a computer generated video representation of the physical community ready for the congregation to look at. Then to be honest we will have to wait for contributions to the capital fund to accumulate so as to fully finance the project. We will not obtain a mortgage or loans; the monastic community will not generate an income. In fact the community might require some subsidy from this church just for operating expenses.

Some of you who belong to this church participate at very high levels in the economy. Some are managers of large corporations, some have investments that have had substantial returns, some have been given substantial inheritances. Whatever the source of your relatively high income and wealth, you have a choice as to how you can use it. Although many have already generously contributed to this church especially to the fund that purchased and renovated this lovely church building, please consider eventually making a large contribution to the fund that will finance the building of the monastic community. Unlike a contribution to this church, you will gain nothing directly from such a contribution. Only if you realize it is an aspect of your purpose, specifically an aspect of the purpose for your providential high level income or wealth, will you have motivation to give such a contribution. The angels of Mariatheos are creating this new community; and at some point they might give several of you motivation that is from beyond your own common consciousness.

Those of us with an intense vision of the new community feel it as a reality. We have been given a portion of grace, an awareness of an unusual intensity of Life belonging to the new community, and awareness of Love from Mariatheos for Her new community, which now exists in the spiritual realm, but we hope will exist on the earth someday. We are given this blessing of grace but that motivates acceptance of our responsibility to work for the manifestation of the monastic community of Mariatheos. For 17 years the collective church of Mariatheos has been slowly growing. From a couple dozen gathering in New London at the beginning, to hundreds gathering in New London and New York today. We are still very small compared to other churches and spiritual groups; but we were chosen for this path and we are grateful. Of course all of us are in different personal patterns of purgatorial development. However we are all together in this church community. Thank you for hearing about this project, especially if you have had little interest in it. Thank you and may Mariatheos our Mother bless you.

A talk by Sandra Oakfield at the church of Mariatheos in New York

Hello! So glad to be talking to you at this beautiful church.

My name is Sandra Oakfield and I have been the pastor of the church of Mariatheos in New London for 18 years. However just last month I handed over that responsibility to Lucy Tragoudia who has been the music director of our church from the beginning. I am here to tell you what I am going to do next. In a few months about 14 of us from the New London church are moving to Omaha Nebraska. We will form a new church of Mariatheos in Omaha and hopefully others from Omaha will join us. This is directly related to the development of the monastic community of Mariatheos in western Nebraska that your church is creating. Months ago angels of Mariatheos have been urging me to make the move. A church community in Omaha is necessary for the support of the monastic community. Specifically people who will consider joining the new community will need help, a place from which to begin discovery of the monastic community. They can live a while in Omaha and worship in the church there while being in contemplation of such a large commitment.

Although to us in the northeast the great plains are very far away and mostly not known, they are part of the heartland of America. Because of wind and solar power generation they have been growing in population. My vision for the church of Mariatheos in Omaha is that it will grow large, but more than that. In partnership with the monastic community of Mariatheos in western Nebraska, in future decades the church in Omaha will enable the creation of other churches of Mariatheos in the great Mississippi, Missouri, and Ohio river watershed regions. My vision might seem like spiritual grandiosity; and only a few share this vision for the church. However this vision is part of my motivation to serve the new church of Mariatheos in Omaha. Compared with creating the monastic community it will be fairly easy to start a new church, since its congregation at first will just be those of us from New London. More from New London will join us after the first group is settled.

The New London church is responsible for the creation of the church in Omaha, just as your church in New York is responsible for the creation of the monastic community. Our costs are modest. We will rent apartments and houses in Omaha and find work. Then we will rent a vacant retail space and transform it into a church; that is how we started in New London and we can do it again. Our church in New London has grown almost too large. It just seems natural for us to do this. Those with a sense of adventure, strong spiritual motivation, and great faith who have volunteered to make the move are a great inspiration to me and a confirmation of Angelic creation of this new church. Obviously we do not know the future but for me there is joy and a sense of awe as to the development of the church of Mariatheos in America. May Mariatheos bless you and your church!

14 Nebraska

A member of the church of Mariatheos in New London took the train to Omaha. He stayed in a hotel downtown for two weeks while making arrangements to rent two houses in central Omaha not far from Dodge street. John Smith was very enthusiastic about the move to Omaha. He got a job as a cook right away. He liked working and was good at his job.

John had been a dedicated member of the church of Mariatheos in New London and had been the leader of the small men's group at the church. The number of men belonging to the church had grown as the church grew but never was more than 20% of the church membership. Most of the men's group were young men who grew up in the church; they had been children when their mothers joined the church. Sandra Oakfield and others in the church were extremely grateful that the angels of Mariatheos had given John to the church community. He shepherded the young men and taught them how to accept the superiority of women, to accept that the purpose of men was to serve others. He only had to point out the obvious; that men in society who tried to primarily serve their self often ended up miserable.

When the caravan of rented trucks reached Omaha, the dozen from New London did not know the city at all. However enthusiasm fueled the busyness of setting up house, finding jobs, and for the few children, going to school. They were glad to find the people they met welcoming and open minded. There was a large portion of people in the city engaged in alternative religion and spirituality. The city benefited from the growth of wind and solar power generation in Nebraska. Relatively cheap electricity motivated manufacturing and computer data centers to locate in the area. The University of Nebraska at Omaha had grown larger in spite of the general decrease of traditional universities and colleges as online learning became dominant. The university at Omaha was a major supplier of such online courses. Especially in some of the alternative spirituality community, Omaha had an unusual sense of optimism.

The church of Mariatheos in Omaha grew faster than anyone expected. They moved into a larger empty retail space on Dodge street only two years after renting their first space. Many of the members lived in group households but without any formal organization by the church. The community of those who worshipped Mariatheos was part of the larger diverse set of communities of alternative spiritual awareness in Omaha. In other words in many ways the people of the church of Mariatheos were not that different.

What was very different was the monastery of Mariatheos hundreds of miles away in western Nebraska. The church of Mariatheos in Omaha did not have much participation in the creation of the monastery. The monastery was very small and occupied several prefabricated structures especially designed to survive the harshest of weather, even tornadoes. The small community was relatively self sufficient.

The monastery of Mariatheos in western Nebraska had no children. Although originally a goal of those planning the monastery, it was relatively soon realized the community would be too small and too isolated to nurture children. Only if it somehow someday grew into a town of at least 2000 would it be a community where children could grow up in. That would not happen for several decades at best. In fact the small community was disproportionately older; about half were over fifty. Those willing to give up on the world were often those whose experience in the world took decades to reveal a sufficient depth of disillusionment so that they could detach from whatever patterns of participation they had established. In other words an abandonment of whatever friends, family, work, cultural life they had. Often it was those with adult children who were at a stage of life where they could walk away from whatever remaining responsibilities they had.

Rachael Maplevale became the main person giving talks at the New York church of Mariatheos after Sarah Stonington gave up that role and also gave up providing informal counseling to members of the church. Rachael became the leader of the church and its primary human source of inspiration. She delegated more of the administrative responsibilities she had been doing for more than a decade as the director of the church of Mariatheos in New York. In a small private ceremony at the church Sarah symbolically transferred all spiritual responsibility she had for the church over to Rachael. Sarah had some relief but also much grief. She had an intense love for the church and had been fully dedicated to bringing it into being and nurturing it for almost a decade and a half. But success brings attachment and it was time to let go. Of course she knew she was only one out of hundreds who had contributed to the success of the church.

Although all of its participants were necessary for for the creation and continuation of the church of Mariatheos in New York, arguably Sarah Stonington had been the most necessary. However it was obvious to her the angels of Mariatheos created the church and guided Sarah in her role. But also obvious it was fate that gave her the inheritance she used to finance all she had contributed to the church of Mariatheos both in New London and in New York.

But now her focus was on the creation of the monastery of Mariatheos in western Nebraska. She contributed much to its capital fund and she was guided to take on a leadership role. She went with the small caravan that traveled to the unbuilt site and lived with the others in trailers there for a month. She was there to receive angelic guidance about the project.

There were others who were also open to angelic guidance. After a week there they were a little sad to realize the scale of the project was to be much smaller than previous hopes they had for it before they left New York. They realized their larger vision would take decades to grow into manifestation in the world. After a while they accepted beginnings are small. A large tree has its beginning as a small seed or pinecone and takes decades to grow large. All beginnings are necessary even if so small they are often ignored.

Living on the land in western Nebraska even with the comforts of a portable home, forced acceptance of humility. They were very aware of how small they were, and how large and vast the land and sky were. The size and success of large cities obscures what should be obvious; no matter how clever, humans are guests on the planet that existed fine without them for many millions of years.

Sarah and others of the small group who were open to angelic guidance spoke to others in the group who had not that specific spiritual gift but who had other kinds of spiritual openness. The discussions were fruitful and everyone not only discovered consensus but a more full appreciation of the way forward. It was agreed the first phase of the monastery would be created to hold about 80 residents but it might take several years before that number was reached. The residents must be carefully chosen from those who wanted to join the small community. Of the nine people who were on that first visit to the land where the monastery was to be located, five including Sarah made the commitment to move there; and to be simple, they all loved each other. Those five would have to be in agreement as to all who would later join. All nine of them felt the sustained presence of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. They had great faith Her monastery would be built there.

After the group returned to New York they met often at the church office. To be blunt they felt they were given a spiritual anointing in Nebraska. There was no sense of anxiety about the project. Just faith that everything necessary for the formation of the monastic community would unfold providentially. The committee expanded to 15 people with some new members with technical expertise who could research for the best prefabricated structures and the best systems for providing sustainable power, water, and other necessities of life, including indoor year round small scale agriculture. A few members of the committee traveled to Omaha to find the right contractors. However the manufacturer of the structures sent their own crew to assemble the buildings. It was only three years after that first visit to the land that the physical facilities were ready for its residents. Soon a group of 25 moved from the New York area to their new home in western Nebraska.

Sarah Stonington sold her town house on Thomson street in lower Manhattan. Over the three years from when she first visited western Nebraska, she became fully ready to move from her home of several decades. Increasingly she found it difficult to tolerate Manhattan which even after full conversion to autonomous electric vehicles was still very congested even if significantly quieter. Sirens were an historical oddity after emergency vehicles became the exclusive use of flying drones. But sidewalks were still crowded and people could not afford much empathy. Business and commerce still dominated the psyche of the city. The growth of organizations providing human services was limited by attitudes that relegated that phrase to dingy green walled hallways of the collective mind. Over a couple years it became clear to Sarah that she very much needed to leave New York.

Those who moved from New York to the monastery in western Nebraska were willing to give up a lot. They were disproportionately of higher income and a lot of physical objects had to be given away, sold, or put in storage. Some of them considered the possibility they might change their minds after living in the monastery for a couple years. After the train trip to Omaha they stayed in Omaha for a week before taking a church van to the monastery. The church of Mariatheos in Omaha greeted the travelers with great hospitality. The travelers knew there was a community that encouraged them and would be there for anyone who needed to escape from their voluntary prison in western Nebraska. No one who was making this pilgrimage was without some fear, not even Sarah. No one knew what was going to develop; but they knew a higher level purgatory awaited them.

Some of the buildings were domes and some were horizontal and partly cylindrical. These were naturally strong shapes with the added advantage of presenting the least resistance to wind. All windows were incredibly strong. That the structures were tornado proof gave the residents security which was to some degree compensation for not necessarily the risk of extreme weather conditions but symbolically for extreme storms of psyche which were probably not avoidable. Although not the massive stone or brick walls of ancient monasteries, the strength of the modern structures gave a similar comfort. This was symbolic of eternal universal spiritual Life from Mariatheos, a constant reality but unfortunately often not known.

Purgatory as often as not offers awareness of the Great Void of Life, even though eternal universal Life is greater. For human awareness in purgatory the Great Void is experientially dominant sometimes. Patterns of life seem to decay into the void.

At the monastery people's routines were going to be discovered organically, leaving as much as possible to individual inspiration. Naturally most people spent much of the day in the church, which was one of the domed shaped buildings. All the buildings were interconnected. In very cold or wet weather people did not go outside. Vehicles were barely used. Pragmatic and necessary tasks only took a few hours a day; which were often a welcome relief from the burden of contemplation, which was the major task of everyone there. Very little did people indulge in entertainment; media was available but barely used. Only a little did some follow journalism. However there was a library of old fashioned books including religious texts and books about religion, novels, and textbooks. What people read and for how long was inner directed. Surprisingly talking became awkward; increasingly the monastery was a place of silence.

Everyone felt the presence of Holy Spirit or angels of Mariatheos. Counseling was from interior awareness; it was not from others. People refrained from interpersonal interference in another's awareness development. However people were a comfort to each other just by everyday presence and subtle affirmation. It only took a couple months for people to feel they were home, a very unusual home of course but one they had chosen without knowing much about what would await them.

Mostly people came to the church at anytime for contemplation and silent prayer. However after two weeks Sarah was guided to give a daily talk in the afternoon. Not everyone came every day but usually about half of the 25 residents came to listen.

A talk by Sarah Stonington at the monastery of Mariatheos in western Nebraska

It is so wonderful we are here.

None of us knew what living here would be like. After only two weeks being here mostly we still do not know. However it is clear we all feel grace from Holy Spirit of Mariatheos more intensely here than many of us expected. This indicates we all developed enough emptiness to gain Her grace. Probably that is partly from our having to give up so much in order to move here. Also those of us here already developed much capacity for grace during our former lives in New York. Coming here is like going to spiritual graduate school. First we had to have motivation to come here but not all who applied were accepted. The angels of the spiritual church have selected us. Thus they are our guides and teachers. It is now evident the monastery serves their purpose; and as individuals we have all accepted Her purpose for our lives.

Back in New York upon seeing video of the monastery some in the church joked it looks like an outpost on another planet. Obviously we are on the planet Earth; but spiritual awareness from Mariatheos is so present here we do not live in the world here. This monastery is an alternate realm of awareness. We have memory of our time on the earth but our home is on a different world that we are just beginning to discover. The air is so heavy here that few find the ability to talk. Except for my talk at this hour I am just as reticent to talk as anyone. The quiet joy we we feel much of the time does not need song or verbal prayer to express. The gentle smiles we have for one another are more than sufficient.

At some point for some of you at different times you will reenter the difficult aspects of purgatory. Memory will at times be intense and anguish and grief over the world will develop. We are in a higher level purgatory here, it is not heaven but noticeably closer.

It took a lot to get us here. Metaphorically it takes thousands of people working full-time in vast facilities to manufacture and prepare a rocket to take a small crew into orbit. The crew is dependent on countless people to get them there. So obviously we are grateful to the church of Mariatheos in New York for making this monastery a reality. But the church of Mariatheos in New York has not been possible without the contribution of its members who in turn have been dependent on others. Those who are most fortunate in society have a not understood debt to all of society especially to those not as fortunate.

Thus this monastery has a purpose to serve society in general. But no one in society would know that. Most of you do not understand our purpose yet. However the grace we feel has inherent purpose. We are grateful for all Mother Mariatheos has given us.

Thank you for listening.

A talk by Sarah Stonington at the monastery of Mariatheos in western Nebraska

It is so wonderful we are here.

Mariatheos is only one way to know universal source of Life. Obviously for us She is universal source of Life. Do others need to know Her also? Not yet. But the very small set of people who know Mariatheos has grown over two decades; so it is probable the community of Mariatheos will continue to grow. Because of angelic guidance the church of Mariatheos is now in Omaha and this monastery is here. Sandra Oakfield, who as you know is the pastor of the Omaha church, has a strong conviction that the church of Mariatheos will expand throughout the great plains and the midwest. So it is possible and perhaps probable the church of Mariatheos will eventually grow much larger.

In the future many more people might know Mariatheos as Mother of all Life. This will be the work of angels and Holy Spirit more than the work of human beings. To be crude, the church of Mariatheos is not a matriarchal social organization. It is a church; a manifestation of the Holy Spirit of Mariatheos in the world. Holy and Spirit; not the common level of Hell in the world.

In this monastery we especially feel the strong presence of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. It has been a joy and a surprise but also perhaps a little discombobulation as we adjust to this intense awareness. Eventually we will help others attain this level of spiritual awareness and they will serve the growing church of Mariatheos in the world. We all have motivation to stay here for many years; but at some point others will come who plan to leave after a year or two and serve the church in the world. I do not know when this will happen but we must develop capacity to help them learn what we are just beginning to discover. Spiritual education is not conceptual, it is not even a set of skills. It is purely the capacity to know angels and Holy Spirit from our Mother of Life, Mariatheos. But guidance and teachers are still necessary. The ability to learn much directly from angels and Holy Spirit is a relatively rare capacity. Thus people must take on an intermediary role at times. This is what we must learn how to do.

The capacity for high level spiritual love is scarce. Some people have more than others; but it is a capacity that can grow and develop. Every spiritual group has some people with that capacity; and it is they who nurture the spiritual community. They are not necessarily those who teach the conceptual knowledge or spiritual culture of the community. The monastery has often been a place where large spiritual capacity develops. Many if not most religious and spiritual communities have established monasteries over the centuries. Thus this monastery is a necessary part of the larger church of Mariatheos.

We are grateful for all that She gives us.

Thank you for listening.

A talk by Sarah Stonington

It is so wonderful we are here.

However it is starting to get difficult for some of us. We are in purgatory and we still have much false self in world awareness. We are still in a level of Hell even though we are lifted close to Heaven. Both states coexist. Experientially at any moment we may be aware at any level on the continuum from Hell to Heaven. The spiritual realms are both within the world and much beyond it. One part of the eternal realms is Hell. Most traditional religions have known this. Unfortunately often enough some in some religions have distorted teachings about heaven and hell. Many if not most modern people have rejected such doctrines. However secular ignorance is not wisdom and is relatively helpless in the face of suffering which has spiritual origin.

Much of the purpose of the church of Mariatheos is to discover as much as possible about spiritual reality. To discover and eventually contribute an appropriate set of metaphorical language that portrays some of spiritual reality. Spiritual language that is not archaic but not naive; that does not claim exclusivity but does not avoid awareness of reality.

Everything in the world has aspects from both Heaven and Hell. Life is from Heaven. But form has limitations which are partly determined by conflict with other forms. This area of conflict is to various degrees from Hell. What makes human awareness prone to be in hell is ignorance of our limitations. Perfect humility accepts all limitations. Humility is from wisdom. Thus it is Hell that teaches human awareness it has limitations that are ignored. Thus for instance grandiosity is ignorance. This type of spiritual understanding decreases the tendency for self righteous common moral judgement but it does not ignore reality. One great fault of modern secular understanding is to ignore all kinds of limitations and support people's ignorance. This naivety just insures that people will suffer and have no understanding of it. Life just seems unfair. But humanity is in ignorance.

Traditional religion also has much ignorance. Ironically a lot of modern attempts to protect religion just compounds the limitations of religion in modern society. Although there is a diversity of religion and alternative spirituality that does contribute to gaining spiritual knowledge and wisdom. The church of Mariatheos is just one contributor to an increase of spiritual knowledge. We do not know what our contribution to others will be; but we all have personal motivation to develop as much spiritual awareness as possible.

This monastery is a place for spiritual awareness development. Angels and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos are the source of that development. We do not teach ourselves. At best we commit to being here and observe how our spiritual awareness develops. Mostly the process is a mystery; but hopefully we have a little understanding that enables our cooperation with Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. We are grateful for Her Love and Life.

Thank you for listening.

A talk by Sarah Stonington

It is wonderful we are here in this place where Holy Spirit is so present. Thus what is not holy is under continual pressure to decrease. So paradoxically we might be very aware of hell. Unconscious incorporation of vast amounts of false awareness is intrinsic to being human. It is primarily the decrease of false awareness that reveals hell. Thus only those who are growing closer to heaven know the hellish aspect of human awareness; which is distinct from just knowing suffering. It is those who begin to know the bliss of heaven who also know the torment of hell. Thus to teach those who do not know heaven about hell is cruel. It just encourages people to reject religion.

However we here might at times be tormented as our false self disintegrates, realizing how much grief is incorporated into false awareness, awareness that has severe limitations and ignorance of reality. Ignorance of eternal universal Life has inherent suffering. But it is often not conscious if awareness is full of focus on the patterns of life but cannot see through the patterns to Life itself.

Our life of contemplation is not easy but we cannot go back. We cannot pretend to not realize the inherent suffering from limitations of awareness to just the patterns of the world. Obviously it is possible to realize the life in those patterns; and many people in the world have that capacity. However for us it takes a decrease of participation in the world so as to increase our capacity for awareness from Life. Habitual limitations of awareness become conscious; contemplation reveals the depth of distress from the absence of awareness of Life. In fact it becomes possible to contemplate the absence of life, or the Great Void. However acceptance of emptiness is not distressful; and in fact is absolutely necessary. Implied is that awareness is an aspect of life; thus it is life that can accept emptiness. Life can accept emptiness of patterns of life because Life is distinct from the patterns Life flows into. Because patterns are only possible because they necessarily incorporate some degree of the Great Void, awareness from Life can contemplate the Great Void without fear.

Emptiness is key to our spiritual awareness development. Acceptance of emptiness allows Mariatheos to give us what She wants us to have; not what we want to have, not the endless attempts to try and think about how to get what we want. In other words emptiness of what is false allows awareness of reality especially spiritual reality.

Reality is that life is eternal, universal, and spiritual. If we do not know that, we are to some degree in false awareness. It is the decrease of false awareness that is purgatorial; and purgatory is at times very difficult. It is Grace that pushes us through those difficulties; and grace which becomes experiential when false awareness decreases. We are grateful for our eternal universal spiritual life from Mariatheos Mother of all Life.

Thank you for listening.

A talk by Sarah Stonington

It is wonderful we are here.

If we accept how vast the oceans of the spiritual realms are; if we accept how intense and diverse Life in the Spirit World is; we could accept the great diversity of spiritual awareness that humanity has. It is obvious that all spiritual culture is metaphorical; but it is not always obvious the intensity of spiritual life that conjoins with any spiritual culture. Thus unfortunately especially in the past it has been easy for many people to ignore the intensity of spiritual life conveyed by spiritual culture they have not participated in. Thus in the past those of different religions were often considered evil, damned, or lost.

However the easy way to accept religious and spiritual diversity is to mostly ignore those realms; and to focus on what is most obvious in the world, which can lead to a primarily secular understanding of reality. Such a secular worldview has inherent limitations, which might then motivate people to engage on spiritual search. In today's society many if not most people accept the diversity of spiritual cultures while focusing on their specific set of spiritual culture.

We are focused on Mariatheos as Source of universal Life. However an important aspect of this church is an acceptance of others' different spiritual cultures. The church of Mariatheos has spiritual culture that is evolving. If anyone belonging to any of our churches creates spiritual culture then it is part of our community; especially if others in our community are inspired or adopt aspects of it. Especially our worship services include music, song, prayers, story, talks that are most inspiring for us. However any or all of it can evolve in the future. At this monastery we do not yet have a worship service. I believe it will take quite some time before that will happen. When it does most probably it will be very different from what we have experienced at the New York church.

It is part of the purpose of this monastery for some of you to write something, poetry, essays, stories, that contribute to the growing collection of spiritual culture of the church of Mariatheos. Important, inherently as much as the individual who writes, it is the community that produces the cultural work. So those who are not creating specific spiritual cultural work are just as responsible as those who do. Because your spirit contributes to our community. So it is also true those in the total church of Mariatheos are a contribution to the community of the monastery.

As we grow closer to our Mother of all Life, our awareness will be more full of Her Life and Love; and as a community we will contribute to others some of that Life and Love. At some point this monastery will accept those who will come here so as to grow closer to Mariatheos. We will help them if we have the wisdom necessary. Probably most will go back to serve their church communities after a stay of perhaps 6 months to 2 years. Perhaps many of them will become pastors of churches that develop in the future or replace pastors who retire. Thus in some ways we will be a spiritual school. However more importantly a monastery is a place of spiritual transformation. Although transformation is always incremental, a monastery is a special place for that development. We are grateful for the grace we gain here. Thank you for listening.

A talk by Sandra Oakfield at the church of Mariatheos in Omaha

Beautiful blessings on us from our Glorious Mother of all Life, Mariatheos.

It is such an amazing blessing to be here talking to you this afternoon.

I do love you all so much for gathering here together at our humble little church space on Dodge street. When we gather together all having some awareness from Mariatheos we are unusually closer to Her Heaven than other times. So it is often a great joy to worship together! However since we all have day to day lives we struggle with, let me talk for a few moments about the day to day purgatory we cannot avoid. Our awareness of Life and Love experientially alternates with some level of distress we have from awareness of our self in the world. Everyone's self is limited. Capacity for participation in the world is limited and awareness of Life is limited. If you are in this church it is possible to incrementally realize that common awareness of self in world is relatively false. If at any moment you awake to that, then that indicates you are in a shift of basic foundational awareness; and some level of spiritual awareness displaces common awareness. Obviously this is a slow incremental process of transformation.

Necessarily our lives combine spiritual awareness and common awareness.

We share both spiritual and common awareness together in community and thus have participation in spiritual, cultural and social community in the world. Any such community in the world will have much unavoidable limitation of awareness of Life. In other words you might need to accept your personal limitations and the limitations of our community.

Fortunately evolution of both personal and community awareness is continual. However it is necessarily a slow incremental process of evolution that might not be obvious.

Let me plead with you to avoid throwing spiritual platitudes at each other! Many will not be able to keep from doing so but realize it is mostly not a contribution to others. Awakening to spiritual realization is always a process that cannot be forced. What is forced is decay of our common awareness as it conflicts with reality, including social reality or circumstance.

My talks are in a special place and context. To be blunt my talks can be mostly ignored because I am not talking to any specific individual. If someone remembers something at a future time it is probably appropriate to that moment.

Although part of a church gathering is a talk, most of our gathering is music, song, and prayer. However our church gathering is a small part of the patterns of life of our community. Each of you contributes to our community and receives contribution from our community. Unavoidably our community is in purgatory; growing in grace slowly but continually.

My enthusiasm for our community is intense and my gratitude is deep.

Thank you all for being part of the church of Mariatheos!

May our Mother Mariatheos bless us all.

Omaha

James was a devoted member of a Pentecostal Christian church in Omaha. He often felt inspiration from the Holy Spirit. One evening he was in prayer to Jesus Christ and suddenly he felt the presence of the Holy Spirit; he threw up his hands and felt a gentle ecstasy that was somewhat familiar. What was not familiar was hearing in his mind Jesus speak to him the following words:

" James my son, your sincere faith is deep; however if you love me then you must love my Mother who is superior to me. Few have accepted this new revelation. Do not stay bound by the convention of the church. Do not reject my Mother as God; if you do so you reject Her Son. Yes this new revelation is difficult to accept. However because your faith is deep I reveal my Mother to you; behold! "

James was flooded with a glorious vision of power and beauty. God as Mother shone before him and he was filled with deep Love. For a brief moment he heard Her melodious voice:

" You are my beloved child! Rejoice! "

James was filled with unsurpassed spiritual Love so intense he could not bear it. After a moment spiritual grace dissipated and he sobbed and cried for half an hour.

After he stopped crying, James came back to a somewhat more familiar awareness of reality. He was exhausted. Before he went to sleep he had an intuition to read the last two chapters of the book of Revelation (the last book of the bible). As he suspected, there was a way to interpret those verses so as to indicate that a new revelation of God as Mother was possible.

However there could be no doubt as to his experience of Her. Many Christians have argued against the Pentecostal church but people in the church knew their experience of Holy Spirit validated their faith. Christians have argued with each other for two thousand years and atheists have argued against Christianity for centuries. He was used to justifying his faith by his spiritual experience. So there was no reason not to accept this new spiritual awareness or faith in this new revelation. He went to sleep.

James joined the church of Mariatheos in Omaha soon after his epiphany. He felt Her presence at worship and at times during personal prayer. He was grateful for this new level of spiritual joy. But there had been some discomfort in saying goodbye to many people he had been close to from his old church and suffering their judgement.

James had suffered a similar round of judgment when he left the Baptist church for the Pentecostal church a decade earlier. James had a quality that some judged as pride and that was his strong sense of autonomy and independence. However that was only possible because of his deep dependency on faith in God. It did not phase him if his faith evolved over the years; in fact it was intrinsic to real faith to be open to development and evolution of faith. In other words James was not much dependent on others in the church or even on pastors and ministers to shape his faith. But leaving was difficult; saying goodbye was somewhat sad.

James did immerse himself in the church of Mariatheos. He felt like a child and was not used to women having so much spiritual charisma or spiritual authority. However knowing God as Mother completely altered his awareness of women. He recognized much more their spiritual strength and thus their intellectual and emotional strength was easier to accept. Although in the workplace that should have been obvious; in hindsight he acknowledged a subtle distancing and tendency to judgement that had obscured his awareness of women to some degree.

The church of Mariatheos in Omaha grew faster than some from New London expected. The church also evolved differently from what the church in New London was like. The new members from Omaha not only had enthusiasm but they had rich diverse spiritual backgrounds that they brought with them. Sandra Oakfield quickly adjusted to her new role of mediating the enthusiastic but different contributions of members of the church to a necessarily evolving community of spiritual awareness. Sandra was forced to accept not knowing how the spiritual culture of the church of Mariatheos in Omaha would evolve.

Church services, also called church gatherings, became somewhat chaotic. People would interrupt with messages from Holy Spirit of Mariatheos. The musicians and singers were often in Holy Spirit inspired improvisation. A discerning ear could hear African American, Latin American, and Native American influences in the music. At times Sandra would be filled with the Holy Spirit of Mariatheos and gently but firmly guide the chaos; sometimes asking someone to quickly finish and at other times encouraging others. The church adopted the term pentecostal to describe inspiration from Holy Spirit during the church gathering. Worship gatherings were long and held several times during the week. It was this pentecostal aspect that generated enthusiasm both from members and from visitors discovering the church. Such enthusiasm contributed to the growth of the church of Mariatheos in Omaha and then in other nearby cities.

When Sandra Oakfield retired as Pastor of the church of Mariatheos in Omaha, there were a dozen other churches of Mariatheos in the middle of America. There was a large group of women and men in leadership at the various churches. It was obvious that there would be continual growth of the church of Mariatheos for the rest of the 21st century and beyond.

15 Spiritual School of Mariatheos

A few months after Rachael Maplevale was director of the newly opened office of the church of Mariatheos, one evening at home in prayer Rachael clearly heard an angelic woman's voice in her mind:

" Rachael my beloved, you have more wisdom than you know. We of the church in Heaven desire you to teach. Angels and Holy Spirit will be with you. Speak to Sarah, we have given her similar guidance about your future. Our love and Love from Mariatheos is with you."

Rachael bathed in exaltation.

After more time in prayer, Rachael began to read from the collected talks of Sandra Oakfield given at the church of Mariatheos in New London Connecticut. Sandra was the wisest person in the small community of people who worshipped Mariatheos. Sarah Stonington was also very wise but was more of a mystic. Providentially Sarah possessed enough of a fortune so as to be the human force creating the church of Mariatheos in New York. But it was a slow process. The church office would exist for three years before the church of Mariatheos opened in New York.

Monday morning class held in the conference room of the office of the church of Mariatheos in New York. Teacher Rachael Maplevale

Good morning!

Welcome to our first gathering at the New York office for study of wisdom from Holy Spirit of Mariatheos. Most of you were at some of the talks by Sandra Oakfield given at the Ouranos gallery over the past two years. Those collected talks plus the collected talks she has given at her church in New London will be our textbook. I will try and communicate some of the wisdom I have learned from immersing myself in the small community of Mariatheos that has developed in New London and New York so far. I am grateful to Sarah Stonington for all she has done to bring knowledge of Mariatheos to New York and supporting the small community of Mariatheos here. It is my privilege to lead this class. Thank you for being here. We are here to learn together and what is most important is developing capacity for direct inspiration from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

We use language but words are very limited. Experience is not necessarily able to be put into words and often shouldn't be. However to share our experience often language can be useful. It is necessary to understand the limitations of language and to avoid making the mistake of believing the language is reality when it is just portraying reality. unfortunately often language does not portray reality, is a distortion of reality, or is just severely limited in its representation.

Thus often those who don't talk much are wise to the limitations of language and perhaps don't trust those talking. Please refer to your own personal experience more than what you hear in this room. A lot may not be relevant to you even if something is relevant to someone else. Hopefully what happens here will help us on our journey of discovery.

It is Holy Spirit from Mariatheos that inspires everyone in Her community.

We all have different kinds of capacity for such inspiration. Often we don't know how we channel such inspiration or how we are changing under such inspiration. Partly what is useful about spiritual understanding is the gain in ability to hold the mystery of spiritual awareness. Spiritual language is like a bowl containing the holy water. The bowl is necessary but what is precious is within the bowl. We must live in society which is not holy and makes little distinction between secular and sacred awareness, between what are distractions and what leads to heaven, between what is temporal and what is eternal, or even between what is of death and what is of life. There is nothing wrong with what is secular, some of it is absolutely necessary. However when secular awareness becomes all there is, when it is mistaken as contextual or comprehensive, secular awareness becomes a land of the lost; endless wanderings that never find a nurturing place to settle in as one's home.

We have much less choice about our lives than many people assume.

Especially for those who suffer it is more obvious they are powerless to change their circumstance or their experience. They barely tolerate the good advice or judgement from others. However many people assume they have more control than is real. What they do have is perhaps great capacity for participation. If one is good at their job or other tasks or at whatever game one is engaged in, naturally it seems one is in control. However a person does not create the circumstances they participate within, they rarely create the games that they play and they don't create the other players.

It is not obvious that who we are and what we have are from not understood forces of causality. Thus it is possible to confuse one's self with causality. Especially if one's self has much capacity for participation. However if one's capacity for participation is limited, especially if one is suffering from failure, someone might be willing to give up responsibility to unknown forces of causality. In other words to give one's life over to God, Who we recognize as Mariatheos. The irony is that God is the source of all Life, and indirectly the source of all patterns of life and circumstances for everyone. So in giving ourselves over to Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, we are just realizing it was false to claim self was causal. It is not a choice but a realization. The false assumptions about causality indicate we were lost in the world; and not understood forces were always in control. Unfortunately the more false awareness we have the more severe are the forces that limit and control us.

Elizabeth:

But Rachael, isn't it obvious that we have self agency?

Rachael:

Yes it absolutely seems that way. And it seems others expect you to have agency.

But when agency fails to bring desired results, or when the desires of oneself conflict with the expectations of others; to be crude, there is trouble. It is this often prolonged state of inner and even if subtle outer conflict, that indicates our assumptions about self and self agency might be false.

Elizabeth:

Yes, I can see that. Self doubt can become chronic and attempts to solve for our limitations prove hopeless after a while. But the assumption remains, we could be or should be doing something different. At times others seem to overcome their limitations.

Rachael:

Obviously things get better for some people sometimes. But Who was causal? That is really a mystery. Yes, people can learn to get better at whatever they were struggling with. But some cannot and suffer the consequences of their failure. However many many times people's lives get better after they embark on a spiritual path. Especially for those with addictions a key awareness development is the admittance of being powerless. And then having faith in some sort of higher spiritual reality. That recovery programs are usually inherently spiritual indicates the futility of secular assumptions about self.

A key insight that Sandra Oakfield has talked about is that the self is more a function of community than of the individual. To be blunt, the community is much more powerful than any individual. It is easier to recognize this in traditional communities that were comprehensive. Individuals mostly conformed to the patterns of relationship and participation that the community determined, especially by the family. Work, religion, education, household responsibilities, and even in some communities marriage partner were all determined by others.

However in modern society there seems to be much more individual choice. However the limitations determined by others are very real but often more obscure. But also important is hypocrisy. There is an ideology of personal freedom that obscures the countless limitations that are psychological, sociological, and cultural for every individual. It is because modern society is so incredibly complex and contains a diversity of communities that society cannot be understood, neither the web of limitations or of opportunities are much understood. It is society that says to us you have the freedom to be an individual, actually you are required to be an individual. No local web of community or even family is going to be consistent in their support. And in many cases family and community are barely functional or available. You are on your own! For some people that is an exaggeration but for others it feels very real.

Make no mistake, there are abundant opportunities for individuals in modern society. But the huge amount of limitations is not always obvious. Many individuals are trying to solve for alienation that is massive within modern society. Often people feel they have to hide their experience of limitations with false optimism. So the conclusion Sandra has made is that modern society is a transitional stage in which traditional community has slowly decayed and new community is slowly evolving. Thus it would have been impossible for the church of Mariatheos to have developed in the past when traditional communities were much stronger. Society does allow for a great deal of cultural and spiritual innovation. But perhaps most obvious has been the changes of how women participate in society. Developments that still leave much frustration and have generated other problems and dissatisfaction. Hopefully the church of Mariatheos can contribute to the further evolution of how women and men participate in society. But first there is a huge amount for us to discover.

Awareness generates corresponding patterns of participation, patterns of community.

Here we are discovering new awareness, new spiritual experience.

We cannot get closer to living in utopian community with habitual common awareness. Awareness that was generated by our participation in modern society, from infancy, even from in utero. For our human mothers were as much a part of modern society as our fathers, teachers, and every one else. Important, people's conflicts with society do not usually contribute to solving for the problems of society. Conflicts might contribute to decay of patterns of community in society; but to be crude, society doesn't care. Society just plows ahead incorporating all patterns of decay and growth. So we as a church community are focused on growth. Growth of evolutionary spiritual awareness which hopefully will eventually contribute to life affirming community in society.

Do not underestimate how slow the evolution of spiritual awareness is. The mistake is to gain too much enthusiasm from any moment of insight or realization. We must go through thousands of purgatorial cycles of awareness development. Each time some part of archaic common habitual awareness decays, there is resistance to its dissipation. Important, spiritual emptiness is more important to accept than spiritual Love or grace. For its easy to enjoy being loved or given grace, but it's difficult to accept emptiness of the patterns of common self and world awareness that block spiritual awareness.

Rachael Maplevale, Monday morning class

Good morning!

Thank you for your commitment to this class.

It has been over a month and not surprisingly some have stopped attending.

From the beginning of the ministry of the church of Mariatheos in New York,

Sarah Stonington was guided to avoid the easier path in the establishment of the church.

So that attitude has been adopted by all who are contributing to the church.

The Ouranos gallery has been a tremendous gift to New York. The paintings by Amy Hunter are magnificent and radiant communication of Mariatheos and Her Heaven. The every third Sunday afternoon performances by the New London church choir were wonderful and inspiring. And the monthly sunday afternoon talks by Sandra Oakfield were enlightening and revelatory. Thus the Ouranos gallery where all this took place was close to being a church but was not. Why not? Because the people who visited the gallery were not a religious community. They were a random set of individuals most of whom did not pray to Mariatheos. It is the slow growth of the number of people who have discovered Mariatheos as our Mother of all Life and Love who are the beginning of our church community in New York.

But now it is not just waiting for the numbers to increase, it requires that some of the people in the church community have relatively strong religious awareness of and from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Thus we are waiting for enough people who demonstrate their commitment to the church community before we have an actual church. Yes, it is partly about money. The people who are of higher income who worship Mariatheos must sacrifice a significant portion of their wealth to the building fund before we will have a building to worship within. But also we will need the significant commitment from a group of volunteers who will take care of the church. Not just the building but the community. This commitment, this sacrifice of time and attention, can only come from people of great faith. So that is what this class is about. You are in the accelerated process of developing great faith from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos!

How do we gain faith?

The blunt answer is it happens to us. We cannot strive for faith because from our common self awareness we resist Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. So, to be simple, we are chosen!

Now, millions of people have faith and are of diverse religions and spiritual paths.

But infinite Source communicates in many diverse ways. Defacto that includes this very obscure religion of Mariatheos. Thus for us here, we have been chosen to walk a specific religious path. One that is just coming into the world. It might remain very obscure to others for a long time. However it barely matters what others know, it very much matters what we know and how our capacity for spiritual awareness is developing. And it's important to realize that our motivation for development of spiritual awareness is given to us; because it should be obvious that we also resist the changes necessary. So this class is not really where our awareness develops; it develops continually all the time. Everything contributes, especially difficulty and distress. Unfortunately often it is difficulty and distress that are necessary to force decay of habitual common awareness. Gradually common self gives up; ironically it is hopelessness that allows acceptance of dissipation of common self awareness and common awareness of the world. It is recurring acceptance of emptiness that allows grace from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos to pour into us.

Now, we can claim responsibility for attainment of grace; and although we did suffer in the difficult part of the purgatorial cycle, we often resisted acceptance of emptiness. In fact it was difficult because we resisted it. So although it is possible to spin a narrative that we were responsible for the attainment of grace, that is actually false.

Only if we are given faith can we tolerate the purgatorial process of development of more capacity for faith. Maybe before some of you had the hope it would be easy; but by now it is clear our path is difficult. But life in the world is inherently difficult. So being on a spiritual path is just a little acceptance of its difficulty and the realization of it having purpose. The glory of incremental gain of grace reveals Love from Mariatheos even though we might mostly have too little awareness of Her Holy Spirit. In other words we are still lost but are being guided home. To be in the world is inherently to be lost. That is how this terrifying great game has been set up. We are born into massive ignorance. People are inherently ignorant of reality even if some have a little knowledge. So it's futile to blame society. Society is just other people.

Thus faith unfolds in the daily process of life.

However gain of faith is intrinsically related to loss of false self.

But we only realize patterns of self awareness are false during their loss.

So we are in much less control of our purgatorial transformation than we might admit.

Transformation is gradual and incremental. Because of our natural resistance it is false to claim responsibility. Thus at times it is apparent all of the process originates from spiritual responsibility which we only at times have some limited awareness of. The problem is forces of decay are not directly from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos but indirectly through more hellish spiritual realms. The complexity of the spiritual realms are not much understood. However by observation of the world, ourselves in the world, and our complex diverse patterns of experience, we can deduct certain principles about spiritual realms.

It is not necessary to know the multiple spiritual realms. There are descriptions in other religious and spiritual writings from different traditions and unique seers from outside any tradition. But as of yet we in the church of Mariatheos do not have such esoteric knowledge.

So we acknowledge the existence of spiritual realms without any focus on detailed systems of knowledge. However we accept that there is constant unknown spiritual causality to everything in the world, for everyone in the world. Because our prayer life is focused towards Mariatheos or Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, to be simple we trust that any causality from lower level spiritual realms is ultimately not in conflict with our trust in Mariatheos our Mother of all Life and Love. Thus although there is a distinction between Eternal Universal Life and Love and the multiplicity of patterns of all form, we can have faith the patterns of our awareness and circumstance are evolving according to Purpose from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

John:

Listen Rachael, with all due respect, we are mostly in confusion about what is spiritual and what is false. As you said one doesn't know if something is false until it has already dissipated. My experience is that I don't know what is true and what is false. Definitely your descriptions of our purgatorial development corresponds to experience. But then that just indicates we mostly do not know reality.

Rachael:

Beautiful. John thank you for being honest.

What John has just said indicates the need for humility and acceptance of our vast ignorance.

What I say here are abstractions, schematics of knowledge. But they are of limited value. As I have said our spiritual awareness development is in every moment every day. But as John has said, it is confusion most of the time. Common awareness is dominant for most of us. However for those of us on a spiritual path common awareness will be in chronic decay. If it wasn't we would enjoy much more false certainty. Ironically confusion, frustration and distress are indicators of progress in spiritual awareness development. Realization and grace develop incrementally after enough decay of false certainty allows it to dissipate into the emptiness that realization and grace can flow into.

Look, what I say here is not as important as your lived experience, whatever it is in every moment. Spiritual language is like a map. A map can be useful on one's journey but it is the person walking on their path that is making the journey.

Linda:

Rachael, could you please talk about relationships?

Rachael:

Well I would rather not.

(Laughter)

(Rachael smiling) Well ok, but I hesitated because most of you will not like what will be said.

Let's just get the bad news over.

Relationships especially romantic relationships are mostly false.

(groaning and mumbling such as: oh my God! oh no, muttered expletives.)

Ok, sorry. Yes it's horrible! But almost no one has a choice. You are with whomever it is providential for you to be with. Your joys and sorrows will be unavoidable, as are any struggles or heartbreak or drama. Relationships are a school where you learn about your self and others. However mostly what motivates participation in relationships is the false hope for love.

Linda:

But love is real! I have felt it!

Rachael:

Yes it feels real. I will put aside for the moment comment about what that feeling is. But it should be obvious the conclusions we have about those feelings are false. Like: this is forever; he or she will never leave me; I promise to never leave you; I promise to be faithful; I will never love another; I will never be angry at you; and so on. The feelings of love always eventually dissipate even if sometimes they fluctuate. You see we are inherently lonely. When we have the experience of commonality with another we can feel joy. But that commonality is always limited; and worse sometimes it is an assumption based on imagination, hope, or pretense. So when eventually our expectation conflicts with the reality of the other, we can feel disappointment or even devastation.

Robert:

Thank you Rachel for teaching us.

Please excuse me for this, but to be honest I don't know why I am here. I pray to Mariatheos at times and my level of anxiety lowers to some degree; but from my experience and from what you have said, it is beginning to seem hopeless that life gets experientially better. So why try? Why not just live life one day at a time without any spiritual focus?

Rachael:

Yes, that's a legitimate question. The short answer is you have no choice. Once awakened to some spiritual grace no matter how seemingly little, it is not really possible to forget it entirely. But ironically what you have said is actually a good attitude. Not to try, not to take spiritual focus too seriously. To just live one day at a time and to some degree just to observe our life develop each moment is a relatively mature level of spiritual awareness. To not try and force our awareness development and just to accept whatever develops. At best acceptance of the whole of each cycle. Common awareness, decay of false awareness, even resistance to its decay, disintegration of common self and world awareness patterns and their dissipation into emptiness, acceptance of emptiness and the grace and realizations that flow into awareness, enjoyment of grace and perhaps altered participation inspired by grace, and the dissipation of experiential grace and the automatic adoption of patterns of common awareness. However this description of cycles of awareness development is a simplification. We might go back and forth between parts of that cycle or seemingly get stuck in one part of the cycle for a while.

In maturity all this is not unexpected, not necessarily a big deal, but most importantly, none of the cycle is avoidable. It is not a choice.

For most people for most of human existence some kind of spiritual awareness has been natural and normal. Obviously spiritual culture or religion has differed from community to community. However this is similar to how language differs from nation to nation and especially in the past language dialects have differed from region to region within a nation. So most of us don't judge one language as superior to others but rarely does one abandon one's language and adopt another. However in modern society it is very possible to choose a different religion. Especially for those who have never had much religion or abandoned a familiar religion years ago, the opportunity for spiritual search can lead in many different directions. For however mysterious purpose is, it is providential that you are discovering Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Thank you for your openness to Her. Thank you for being part of this small spiritual community. May Mariatheos bless you!

Rachael Maplevale, Monday morning class

Good morning!

Thank you to those of you who have continued with this class for half a year. Some of you have joined more recently and thank you for attending. This class is about spiritual education. But spiritual awareness is not often conceptual. So why listen to me talk about spiritual awareness? It is about learning language and ideas that are counter to the vast set of societal secular understanding that is greatly entwined with language, ideas, concepts, knowledge, attitudes and assumptions. All of this has to be unlearned to a great degree. Modern society has elevated secular understanding to an unprecedented level. Never before has the vast extent of secular knowledge and understanding been so dominant for most people and all encompassing for a significant number of people. Thus even spiritual and religious people engage in secular understanding most of the time. Which unfortunately might limit their level of spiritual awareness. Thus to free ourselves from the limitations of often unconscious secular understanding and assumptions about reality, it is useful to engage in ideas, understanding, and knowledge that are of spiritual reality and awareness. That are alternative to what is familiar in secular society. Remember most people spend 12 to 16 years in secular education. The unconscious effect of education is more important than the conscious.

One common basic assumption people have is that people are causal. The individual is causal of their life or others are causal. Others might be parents, teachers, friends, coworkers, romantic partner, marriage partner, etc. Or perhaps organized groups of people, such as a company one works for, a school, the community, or society itself. Obviously organizations, communities, and others have great effect on our lives. But are they causal? To be crude, people are so limited in their knowledge that they can not be causal. Influence is not causality, even severe limitations put upon us by others is not causal. For we still exist within our set of limitations. So what is causal of our existence? Really we don't know. Existence is just taken for granted; we focus on the conditions and patterns of our existence. But any assumptions about the causality of our conditions and patterns of existence are guess work. Even if you know some factors you can't know all the factors that might contribute to the patterns of your existence and it is doubtful that you can know how they contribute.

You might think that academia has vast knowledge of human existence. But whatever is known is only an unknown portion of all possible knowledge. It is actually very little. So to have comprehensive understanding from limited knowledge will be inherently wrong. And much of that limited knowledge is itself so incomplete as to be false. However much of academia is just sets of understanding upon other sets of understanding. If the foundational principles and understandings are partly or mostly false, then the whole construction will be partly or mostly false. Obviously the marvels of modern technology are based on real scientific knowledge and understanding. But any system of knowledge and understanding of people is much more suspect. This includes medicine, history, even economics; and it especially applies to sociology and psychology.

It is because, to exaggerate, humanity does not know or understand much about reality including societal, community, and personal reality, we can conclude there is some unknown causal reality. Because there is nothing in the physical world that we can observe as causal it is reasonable to accept that the unknown causal realms are spiritual or non physical. This conclusion is supported by all the extensive yet different knowledge systems of diverse religion and spiritual writings. The easy secular assumption is that since they are so different and partly conflict with each other, they are all false. Science and secular knowledge can displace any and all religion or spiritual understanding. Pragmatically and historically recently, secular knowledge and understanding have to a large extent displaced religious and spiritual awareness and understanding. However continual low level crisis in all modern societies indicate there is something missing in the secular comprehensive set of knowledge and understanding.

Secular society is a transitional stage. It has allowed significant decrease of participation in traditional religion. Since society is neutral in regards to religion and to some degree dismissive of all religion, society allows religious innovation. To be crude society does not care about this small community of Mariatheos. Thus our growth is possible but experience indicates it is slow. It has also been dependent on the providential contribution of several extraordinary women. Some of you are familiar with the church of Mariatheos in New London Connecticut. Sandra Oakfield has been pastor of the church for almost a decade. Her wisdom and compassion have been relied on by all the members of that church. But she has also inspired many of us in New York who have heard her talks at the Ouranos gallery downtown. Her collected talks are available for us to read and have been invaluable for me personally.

The church in New London was only possible because Amy Hunter had the faith and the resources to rent the space for the future church before she knew if anyone else worshipped Mariatheos. She had the talent and the capacity for spiritual inspiration and the spiritual motivation for painting the huge abstract paintings of Mariatheos that transformed a vacant retail space into a sacred place for worship of Mariatheos. Lucy Tragoudia became the music director of the small church. She was open to angelic inspiration and composed most of the music and song that the congregation sang in worship and celebration of Mariatheos. The choir from New London has performed at the Ouranos gallery and perhaps most of you have been inspired by them.

Now, why am I recounting this? It is to illustrate the necessity for at least a few extraordinarily inspired people being devoted to a church community for a church community to thrive. The church of Mariatheos in New York when it opens will be larger than the church community of New London was when it began. So we are going to need more than a few inspired and devoted people. Now, we don't need pretense or less than spiritual motivation from our members who have such commitment. We will wait as long as necessary for those willing to devote their lives to the church. Those who make such a commitment should not do so out of temporary enthusiasm, but out of a sustained realization of purpose. It is more than fine to continue in this class and never choose to participate at that level. Obviously people can contribute much by participation with others in the larger set of communities outside of the church. And the church will welcome all of its members at any level of participation.

Mariatheos love for her children is not dependent on patterns of participation. Experience of Her Love is dependent on our capacity for such Love.

Robert:

It seems all my desires persist. Even if continually frustrated, I still hope for success and love. Those seem most real and the world is very real and my spiritual awareness is fleeting and ephemeral. I come here because I do have some hope for transcendence that I have experienced too rarely; but perhaps that is just imagination. I guess hope for spiritual awareness is stronger than doubt.

Rachael Maplevale:

Thank you for saying what is probably so for others as well. Let me try and address that.

Unlike some other spiritual teachings we try and avoid communicating false spiritual optimism. For it is relatively simple to just be enthusiastic about the Glory and Love of Divine Source. Because a performance is not day to day life. People come to what are in effect spiritual cultural performance and are legitimately inspired, but perhaps not given much help in living day to day. Thus it is best to give a realistic representation of what spiritual awareness development is really like. It unavoidably includes much regular habitual common awareness. This is the great game, to struggle in the world but to incrementally gain a little transcendence of it. It is like trying to find gold in the old days, one dug through tons of dirt to find a little gold at a time. But spiritual awareness is not tangible, we cannot see it accumulate. Mysteriously it does and our progress is known by our not known spiritual guides. The huge problem is that incremental transformation slowly changes who you are more than what you have. It is the set of awareness that is who you are that transforms; thus naturally you resist that development. Thus, again, slow spiritual transformation happens to you in spite of your resistance. To be blunt you don't want to change! Thus in the novice stage a person might have much enthusiasm for spiritual awareness for it has not yet changed who they are. But when it starts to dawn on them what is really involved, their enthusiasm decreases substantially. Even if they don't completely reject their spiritual community their level of participation might decrease. Now it is possible that when someone is ready to engage in the difficult process of incremental transformation they find a different spiritual community to be their guide and support. That might be so for some of you in this room.

The question about how little spiritual awareness one might have each day is: what is the alternative? To be blunt the alternative is worse. To have no spiritual awareness and only common awareness of one's self and of society is to be completely at the mercy of all patterns of psyche and culture that come into one's awareness and all other people and society that you must relate to. Sometimes you will be lucky and enjoy your life but other times not as lucky. Without some spiritual awareness you will have no recourse if somehow you are faced with existential questions or at worst suffer some degree of existential crisis. In other words, without recourse to having spiritual awareness you risk some hellish experience that you will be helpless to solve for. But then you might cry out to god to save you! And after that you might have to resume a spiritual path again.

The church of Mariatheos is a long path.

We have recently begun the journey.

It is important to consider that the church is a community.

A community is not just a collection of individuals.

A community has a not much understood integrity.

A community has its own awareness. Inherently the source of the awareness community is within the spiritual realms. Thus no individual knows but a portion of the awareness community they participate in. Obviously some have more awareness than others but it is all of the community that together know most their awareness community. However that still will be limited. Thus as more people join a larger amount of the awareness community is known by people. But within the spiritual realms is where the fullness of the awareness community is. Thus the spiritual church of Mariatheos is in continual communication with the people in the world who are part of the community of Mariatheos; even those who do not know that yet!

So no matter how lost or in confusion we are, we are continually being guided by spirits, angels, and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. So we could have faith even if we lack understanding. To be simple, we do not need to know what is going on.

Rachael Maplevale, Monday morning class

Good morning!

Some of you might have much to contribute to the church in the future.

But that contribution is not possible if your awareness remains mostly similar to what is normal for most people in society. The church of Mariatheos is not just a group of people who gather together for social fellowship or for a charitable purpose. The church of Mariatheos requires people who have significant levels of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Not until then will the church of Mariatheos open in New York.

Thus Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is causal of the development of our church. We can barely know how the church will develop. At this time the church is you. You are much committed to gaining more awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Your struggles within your personal purgatory are not in vain. Your difficult development of capacity for spiritual awareness is not just about you. To some degree it is more difficult for those who are at the beginning of the development of a church community. We have to struggle to maintain a space within society for an awareness community very different than most. What is most normal is most popular. What is more different, that conflicts more with large awareness communities with large participation, is more difficult to establish. To some degree it was easier in New London for a small obscure awareness community to establish itself in a small sorry to say relatively obscure city. But here in New York and especially in Manhattan, we are in one of the centers of the world. The dominant awareness communities here are very large and powerful. The unconscious psychic pressure from society is greater here. But Sarah Stonington is an extremely unusual person given great gifts. She has used her large financial resources to create the Ouranos gallery. But obviously it took much more than money to create it. In that magnificent space many of us awakened to Holy Spirit from Mariatheos; and within that space for many of us our awareness development was nurtured.

Sarah also established and subsidizes this large beautiful office of the church of Mariatheos. So I am especially grateful to her. However we are all giving what we were given. The angels of Mariatheos chose everyone who becomes part of this community of Mariatheos. Chose us before we were born! That is obvious for some people like Sandra Oakfield and Sarah Stonington because of how their personal histories facilitated their unique abilities to serve the church of Mariatheos. But it is so for everyone.

Personal history is within history of society and the world.

Ultimately humanity is a collective even though there is extensive diversity.

Now, it is a mistake to underestimate our differences. Thus there is much alienation and conflict in the world. Hence sometimes unspeakable brutality and severe oppression.

Thus unity is a utopian ideal. However what is utopian can be real experientially.

So our experience is not at all limited to the world. Many people live more in cultural awareness than awareness of others in society. In fact culture mediates our awareness of others. Language is inherently cultural. So any representation of people by language has already altered our awareness of them. It is because of how much humanity is cultural that it should be obvious that awareness is much more fluid than fixed. Thus spiritual awareness can develop; and the more we engage in spiritual awareness the more it will develop. But it is best to accept the fluidity of spiritual awareness; it ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes, is subtle or intense. For most people in traditional communities religious and spiritual awareness was just intertwined with all awareness. In other words it was natural. This quality is perhaps what some modern people intuitively sense was lost in the displacement of global diverse traditional communities by modern society. However some modern people do have much of that quality of awareness of life. That is an aspect of what we are hoping to attain; but it is going to take a bit of work to get there.

The world is always evolving. However we are mostly ignorant of that evolution as we are mostly ignorant of the world. But the little we know can be a basis for speculation. Although that might seem false, it is the quality of the awareness that inspires us that is of value. Thus inherently we are discovering stories that guide us whether facts confirm the stories or not. It is because of our interrelation with unknown others, however our community develops, somehow that is a contribution to the evolution of society. In other words, we don't have to know what the influence of the church of Mariatheos has in the world. We can, to be crude, do our own thing and hope it somehow benefits others.

But intrinsic to the awareness community of Mariatheos are notions about the direction of the evolution of society. To be blunt, we think we have some ideas as to solutions for many of the persistent problems of society. Unfortunately we are not yet able to demonstrate a model community that would solve for those problems. It is not certain we ever will. So we have to live with both having ideas for an ideal community but not yet being able to form one. Perhaps not for a long while. Thus we must moderate any critique of society with humility and acceptance of our limitations as a community. It is a very long journey we are on. But we can enjoy a certain level of grace while making the journey.

Linda:

I am not familiar with any utopian ideas about community from the church of Mariatheos.

It seems both you and Sandra talk about it without saying much about it.

I must admit I haven't read all of Sandra's talks given in New London. But could you please talk about it in more detail?

Rachael:

Yes, we have been reluctant to talk much about it. Fair observation.

Partly reluctance is because of the grief in having awareness of utopian community in contrast with, please forgive me, the hell of what community is like today. Part of how we adjust to that which is so lacking in affirmation of life is to regard it as normal. To adjust to whatever condition of grief we cannot escape from. This is more known in regard to abuse in families. But all families have much less awareness of life than is known, precisely because it is normal.

But the pressures on all families by society is tremendous and conflicting pressures at that. So it is not possible to expect anything from families more than what they are already capable of.

To be overly simple, the evolution of society has greatly decreased traditional communities and the support for families by community. On an adhoc basis families find various levels of support from diverse sources. Thus on average those with more financial resources fair better.

But still I have avoided talking about utopian community.

For the church of Mariatheos utopian community is matriarchal.

Women and children would live in large group households of perhaps two dozen people.

Men would live separately, work in the world, but perhaps live in a monastic residence.

Thus marriage would not exist!

A child would grow up loved and cared for by the household.

They would have a special relationship with their birth mother but much less of an exclusive relationship. Their father might visit but his influence would be much less than we assume normal. In other words the sometimes tortured codependancy of children with their parents would not exist. Probably boys would learn from men in schools or apprenticeships.

Before any one objects and points to potential problems, let me say this is not yet possible. For it would require a much higher level of holiness for all involved for it to work. Any attempt to establish these patterns of household community without holiness would create a horrible situation and it would probably disintegrate sooner or later. Implied is that both women and men would be relatively celibate and renounce the pursuit of romantic love. Men although living separately would have strong commitment to the women's households and contribute a portion of their income to the households of women and children.

Linda:

No! I will not give up on love!

Please, without hope for love, marriage and my own family,

there is no purpose to life.

Rachael:

Linda, please, no one is telling you how to live your life.

Perhaps you will get what you want. But there is no certainty about how our lives turn out.

So, you don't know and neither does anyone. However we can gain some faith that we are being guided in everything. Both things that turn out well and things that turn out badly. For very few people is it completely one way or another.

Now, the leadership of this church seldom tells people what to do. We would be foolish if we tried to. Everyone does what they have to do. However everyone is limited by circumstance. If circumstance cooperates with what you want, then you have the opportunity to get what you want. Whatever happens it contributes to your awareness development.

But let me emphasize, it is not now possible for what I have described to become more than an idea. And most people will not even see much benefit to these different patterns of household and community. That's why we don't talk much about it.

Let me briefly talk about utopian community. Obviously it would be more than just about the household. The wish list would include many things that you are familiar with. Environmentally sustainable technology, cooperative run companies, wholistic health care, local organic farming, alternative education, etc. But let me emphasize a wish list is not reality. What we are focused on is the difficult process of incremental transformation. We focus on the contrast between our everyday awareness and the too brief awareness of universal Love from Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. We cannot expect others to be a source of love if we are so limited in such love ourselves. All cooperative participation takes at least some capacity for love. It is important to make the distinction between real love that facilitates cooperation with others and romantic love which is experientially intense but sorry to say false. The proof that it is false is that it can turn into hate; perhaps not for you but you can admit that is the case for some others. But I know that upsets some of you so just let me say cooperation with groups of people requires some sort of good will that is different than interpersonal love, and using the same word for two very different types of awareness can cause confusion.

Obviously organizations, institutions, and families involve extensive cooperation of people. But the reasons there is dissatisfaction are several. The major problem is there is usually some level of coercion. Most people go to work for the income necessary in order to live. Children are dependent on their parents for their survival. Numerous laws and regulations determine patterns of behavior with threat of dire consequences for not following them. School is literally compulsory and fear of economic failure in the future motivates school work and college attendance. Although there are other emotional motivations for behavior other than fear; it is because fear is so pervasive but often not acknowledged that behavior patterns even if dysfunctional are so intractable. But desire is also a strong emotional motivation. Thus all the competition for best romantic partner or best job pushes people into striving for what they want. That might decreases their capacity for cooperation or even for appreciation of what they already have. And at some point conflict with reality might yield some degree of crisis.

Of course most people have some level of good will for others and good will contributes to their motivation and capacity for participation. So everything in the world contains to be simple both good and bad, or both affirmation of life and limitations to life, or both growth and decay. This over simplification must be balanced by recognition of how vast and complex patterns of life are in the world and how complex our personal awareness is. It is this complexity that limits the value of language in describing reality. Language tends to over simplify understanding. It is much more important for you to have wisdom in your moment to moment life that might not be at all conceptual. You don't need to and probably cannot describe your ability to live moment to moment each day.

Rachael Maplevale, Monday morning class

Good morning!

Thank you all for being here and especially to those of you who have been here for almost a year since we started this class.

As some of you know the capital fund for the future church building purchase has reached over 20 million dollars. But more important is that the committee for the capital fund has arranged for their members to guarantee any loans that the church of Mariatheos in New York will need for buying the building and for renovations. At this point the church membership is 150 people even though there is not yet a church to worship in. Sarah is adamant in refusing to use the Ouranos gallery for worship. Some have criticized her for that but her spiritual guidance is clear about it. Of course the gallery is available for contemplation and prayer at any time. Our communication to the church membership is limited but basically says we cannot have group worship in a sanctuary for communion with Holy Spirit from Mariatheos if we are not yet on average at a minimum level of holiness. Otherwise it would be pretense.

Thus everyone's spiritual progress by definition contributes to the average level of capacity of the community for influx from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. The implication is not everyone has to be at the same level. Obviously how this works is a mystery. We cannot judge either ourselves or others. We don't know. So we have to rely on the spiritual elders of the church community who have ability to be guided by the angels of our church. Thus you have to trust us. If we made a mistake the experience of being at worship severely lacking in spiritual communion would be horrible and people would not come back. All the work and investment would be for nothing. People don't set sail on a ship that is not seaworthy and would soon sink after leaving port.

Angels and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos are responsible for this church!

This is not a human creation but people are instruments of spiritual purpose.

Thus the church of Mariatheos in New York is not just for us.

We don't know how we contribute to others because of our spiritual awareness.

We don't know how the church will grow especially over decades. It is possible the church of Mariatheos could develop in other towns and cities. So this church might be a mother church for other churches. It might seem not important; but for each person who discovers Mariatheos as their Mother of Life and Love, nothing is more important.

So, why is the church of Mariatheos so obscure? Why have so few people discovered Her?

Existing religion and spiritual teachings are how most people discover Ultimate Source. To be simple, they work. Most people have much spiritual awareness development within existing religion and spirituality. Many people are satisfied with no focus on religion and spirituality and are not on spiritual search. For those who are on spiritual search there is so much to explore that they aren't going to consider the religion of Mariatheos. So it is only fate that has brought us to Her. In other words we cannot know why our awareness development has brought us to this path. Implied is we don't know why others are not on this path but obviously they are on other paths. Now, within the academic field of religious studies there is a phrase that describes what we are. We would be called a new religious movement. There have been thousands of new religious movements, so from the outside we are nothing special. There is another more common word for a new religious movement that is more judgemental. What is it? Yes, many people would call us a cult. Because a few cults have in the past been destructive, many people are suspicious of small religious groups. But it is also easy to be dismissive of religion that is different than the larger religions that have too much participation in society to be dismissed. So unfortunately you risk others judgement by joining the church of Mariatheos. Hopefully what you have gained outweighs the discomfort of suffering anyone's judgement.

Robert:

Yes, I get a lot of flak for my worship of Mariatheos. At first my enthusiasm would have me talk openly about it but after too much ridicule I don't say anything to anyone.

Elizabeth:

I always say to people that I pray to Mother Mary but I don't like the Catholic church. Mostly people accept that.

Rachael:

That is a great way to explain it. What people don't like is not being able to understand something. So if you represent your faith in ways that are easy for others to understand then you can avoid some disagreeable reactions.

To some extent as our faith grows our need for others approval fades.

We can be more emotionally autonomous because our dependency on grace from Mother Mariatheos grows. It might appear as if you have more inner strength but that is not from your self but from your surrender of self to Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

Awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is not awareness of the world, it is from beyond the world. So at times you might suffer from discombobulation! A funny word that portrays unusual and to some degree uncomfortable experience that you don't understand. Because common awareness of one's self in the world has a false certainty; it feels very real. But if that is in decay and not familiar spiritual awareness is in growth, then a confusion of awareness that is dissimilar will yield uncertainty at a gut level. Just suffer through it until you gain a little steadiness. Until you get your sea legs so to speak.

A useful phrase that describes an aspect of our common awareness is: self in the world.

Awareness of our self is going to correspond to our awareness of the world.

Thus it doesn't matter if your focus is on your self or on the world, both will be relatively false.

Thus if you are on a spiritual path they will both be in decay.

You might be unhappy with your self. You might suffer depression or anxiety. You might be less strong or smart or confident as you want.

You might be unhappy with the world. With your particular circumstance or with others. You might have many reasons to judge others or society. You might fear that the world is unsafe or suffering environmental destruction. And others will agree with you whatever your political world view is. Others will agree with your righteous condemnation of whatever source of evil you focus on.

You might think what I just said lacks compassion; but it is compassion to see the world as it is without the false certainty of a world view that will always conflict with other world views. It is this conflict that leads to destruction more than solutions to societal problems. Don't get me wrong, reforms are often beneficial. My judgement of political conflict obviously has no effect on its persistence. But if you are on a spiritual path it might lead you away from conflict zones. For if we want to cultivate a garden we need to find a good place for it.

Buddhism is a major contribution to the religion of Mariatheos.

Buddhism teaches emptiness and to accept emptiness is crucial for gaining more capacity for awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. But we don't need the religion of Buddhism in order to learn how to become aware of emptiness. There are many different ways to reveal awareness of emptiness and even within Christianity some mystics have written about it.

Now, I want to mention something about one way that the church of Mariatheos differs from Christianity. It seems to us that awareness of emptiness is gained within Christianity by contemplation of the crucifixion. If Jesus Christ can accept a painful loss of His humanity, then we can accept loss of patterns of human awareness. The crucifixion and resurrection of Christ into Glory shows us the crux of the purgatorial cycle of awareness development.

Although the church of Mariatheos does not suggest anyone give up their focus on Jesus Christ so as to worship Mariatheos; neither is it necessary to have focus on Jesus Christ for those who worship Mariatheos. In other words open minded Christians can discover Mariatheos but it is not necessary to be a Christian to know Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

Walking a long path you can't see that far ahead of where you are. Mostly we can only live one day at a time. We go through purgatorial cycles continually and it's difficult to know much more than the experience we are in at the moment, be it suffering or grace. So all you can do is keep on going and observe where the path takes you each day. Perhaps about a year or two from now we will be able to worship Mariatheos together in a beautiful church of Mariatheos. But even then we will still be on a path without knowing much about the future; and our cycles of purgatorial awareness development will continue. However awareness does evolve and our cycles of awareness development evolve. So we don't stay the same. Thank you for walking some of the path together. Our community of Mariatheos is evolving and we don't know how we will develop. It is sufficient that we have faith in Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

16 Spiritual School of Fredonia

Before the church of Mariatheos in New York opened in 2030, the office of the church of Mariatheos in New York opened three years earlier. It was in the conference room of the church office where old vagabond gave a series of talks a few of which are included here.

In 2028 two women who were both middle aged and one older man waited together on the platform at the New London station for their train. Sandra Oakfield and Sarah Stonington were shepherding old vagabond on their trip to New York. It was an important day in the development of the church of Mariatheos in New York. Reluctantly old vagabond was convinced that Holy Spirit from Mariatheos needed him to move to New York and help teach the community of Mariatheos there. old vagabond had barely spoken at length with anyone for almost half a century.

old vagabond taught in the conference room of the office of the church of Mariatheos. Rachael Maplevale was director of the church office and she also gave a series of talks on Monday mornings. For the few years before the church opened in New York, it was the office where all the efforts were focused in order to bring the church into the world. That especially included spiritual education for those who wanted to deepen their awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. old vagabond gave a talk Tuesday morning and Thursday evening. People could attend whenever they wanted, there was not a course one took. Once he accepted his new task, he was given motivation and inspiration from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. So it was easy and he even enjoyed it.

A talk by old vagabond

A blessed Tuesday morning to ye all.

I see we are a little less than a dozen this fine April day.

How many are tired? Ah hah, almost half. Well don't be afraid to half dream. This common world is little bit of reality. Tis all that most know. But most of you have discovered Mariatheos our Mother, eternal and universal. But that means a great bifurcation of your awareness. Either you know a little from Original Source, or mostly you know a lot that is so far from Original Source that it barely exists relatively. But you operate as if it is almost all of reality.

So this not known continuum between Mariatheos and this world, what do you think it is?

John: a chain of causality.

Elizabeth: the path of the angels.

Mary: a gradual reduction of the intensity of Life.

Linda: a gradual increase in false awareness.

old vagabond:

Yes, all of that. But those are ideas, not experience.

Experientially it is ignorance. Some how we cannot know.

This world that seems to you almost all of reality, you don't even know but a micro particle of. You have ideas about it. From school, books, media, journalism. But that is all just verbiage that you really don't know how far from accurate it is and how close to flights of fancy. Even if it is accurate, a short description is very far from lived and experienced reality.

So never underestimate how ignorant you are!

If you ever do realize you are afloat in an ocean of ignorance,

it is almost always apparent you are alive by Grace and Grace only.

Not known, not understood, unfathomable, incomprehensible.

Some Original Source has created us and gives us life.

Original Source gives us Deity for us to know

And She is Mariatheos. For others other Deities.

But if you accept your ignorance, you don't refuse to accept the paradox

that for us Mariatheos is Source of all Life and Love

and for others, they know Her not.

Modern Man!

That sounds now archaic and indeed it is.

It was patriarchal society that developed the modern way of life

And how very limited modern society is.

So in large ways and small, people have rejected modern society

and have suffered rejection from modern society.

What has been lost by modern progress has been immense.

However it disappears into the foggy ocean of ignorance.

But so many are in alienation from society, that they have been forced to journey a little into the unknown and discover little bits of alternative culture, knowledge, awareness.

All of which is seemingly inconsequential.

Modern society plows ahead massive and dominant.

However it evolves. Adopting and incorporating a bit of this and a bit of that.

Thus society still has massive alienation, but always changes.

So we here are a little bit of alternative awareness.

Mariatheos has entered the huge diverse human world

and given a few of us some spiritual awareness from Her Holy Spirit.

It matters not that others have other diverse spiritual awareness.

If we accept our ignorance of both the world and the spiritual realms,

we will have no problem with differences.

Reality has unity and integrity that we cannot understand.

John:

Why us?

I'm not sure how I became convinced that

Mariatheos is Mother of all Life and Love.

I was walking around SoHo and wandered into the Ouranos gallery.

Seemed nice but didn't think too much about it.

For some reason I kept going back. Attended some of the music performances and a few of Sandra's talks. I don't really remember when Mariatheos became real for me.

Linda:

A friend and myself visited the gallery and I was immediately captivated. But she was bored and uncomfortable. She didn't like the art, thought it was lacking grit and grunge. But I came back again and again. Felt the presence of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos more and more.

old vagabond:

As I have said, we live in an ocean of ignorance.

If we accept that, then we won't have fixed expectations about anything. And if a miracle of revelation comes to us we can joyfully accept it. We don't need to explain it or worse argue with it and deny it is possible. Thus false certainty blocks a lot of spiritual awareness.

If you can accept awareness of ignorance, you can accept the slightly less obvious awareness of emptiness. Emptiness is foundational. Most people are not much aware of the foundation of the building they are in. A large building has a large foundation. A tall building usually has a deep foundation. But unless you are a construction worker you probably don't realize how much materiel and work goes into the foundation of a building.

Emptiness is foundational to higher usually more enjoyable levels of spiritual awareness.

Emptiness of at least some of the vast diverse common awareness of one's self in the world.

That common awareness often seems very real. It is usually difficult to accept emptiness of habitual common patterns of awareness. So the gain of emptiness often requires the decay of common awareness in spite of resistance. Often this yields some suffering, confusion, frustration, and distress. At some point one realizes it is futile to persist in one's habitual awareness and accepts its dissipation, which reveals emptiness.

A giant steel ship holding thousands of people and thousands of tons of equipment has little problem staying afloat. All that steel for all the structure of the ship, the walls, the decks, the hull; all that steel without assembly into a ship would obviously sink to the bottom of the ocean. So how does a ship stay afloat?

John:

It's called buoyancy. The space contained within the ship is a total volume that weighs less than the volume of water the ship displaces.

old vagabond:

Very good. Another word that might be used is emptiness. The giant ship contains enough emptiness so it floats on the water. Within the extensive emptiness of the ship thousands of people can live. Within your capacity for emptiness, Holy Spirit from Mariatheos can live. But you must hold the emptiness. It still requires some structure of self, a person in the world who however has some awareness Not of the world. Has some capacity that is empty of awareness of one's self in the world. Total emptiness is not possible. But large capacity for emptiness allows large awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. So I am going to continually remind you about emptiness.

It is more difficult to maintain a space of emptiness alone.

A community of people can help each other maintain capacity for emptiness.

A community has its own awareness that is both separate from and inclusive of the people in the community. If an individual has joined a community, they gain much from appropriation of awareness from the community. Obviously different communities have different sets of awareness. Thus that does include some limitations. If those limitations become too burdensome or even oppressive, people will leave that community. Thus rejection of a community you have belonged to always involves some degree of loss even if one gains relief from its limitations.

However people naturally seek out community. Being alone is difficult. However joining this community is also difficult. Because it is so different and so small it suffers judgement from others. So the limitations of this community are significant. We don't offer easy grace. We don't give you an entertainment that gives experience of spiritual awareness. We ask you to do the difficult work of suffering through purgatorial cycles of development of spiritual awareness.

But we support you in doing that. We give affirmation of the possibility of gaining incremental transformation. And we give some understanding of the process. But it is Holy Spirit from Mariatheos that guides you and transforms your awareness. Mariatheos bless you!

a talk by old vagabond

Welcome to all of you on this fine Thursday evening in May.

Thank you for attending this talk here in the office conference room; because your focus on gaining capacity for spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is a contribution to the whole community of the church of Mariatheos.

Any benefit to you is a benefit to others.

If we have awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, we can participate from that awareness in community. The quality of that participation will be different than participation from common self in the world awareness. Even if the patterns of participation look the same, even if it is service to others, the awareness of both you and the other will be of a different quality.

There are a couple of simple answers to everything.

Ignorance and powerlessness.

Whatever you know is micro relative to what you do not know.

Whatever you do is micro relative to what you can not do.

Almost anything can be resolved by acceptance of the inherent limitations of being human.

Obviously people struggle against such acceptance.

To be crude most advice or even help is just prolonging futile attempts at avoiding such acceptance. It is possible to get better at something, to increase one's skills by practice and education. But often what is possible is much smaller than one might hope. Just because some people have great accomplishment at something does not mean it is possible for others. Failure is much more common than success. The limitations people have are substantial and not well understood, and even if understood cannot be solved for.

Modern society has greatly increased the diversity of awareness and participation patterns. However much of those are not necessarily satisfying and often generate suffering. So modern society is to some degree dystopian. And culture often expresses that.

Although it is not possible to solve for the many problems in society, it is possible to some extent to gain awareness transcendent of our awareness of society. To be crude society is a hell that it is possible to disentangle from.

Mark:

Yes! That's the hope.

So tell us,

How do we get out of hell?

old vagabond:

Yes, that is what religion is about, how to get out of hell.

Unfortunately religion has often distorted its description of the purgatorial process.

Religion has often portrayed an afterlife of either eternal hell or eternal heaven as one's destination. But if a person lives every day considering the possibility of either eternal consequence from their day to day attitudes and behavior, you can see how much attention they would give to the spiritual and moral quality of their awareness and participation.

Thus as a spiritual teaching it might be effective to portray heaven and hell this way. However as it might seem obvious from our modern perspective that teaching has some unfortunate effects. Fear of eternal hell can be used as a way to insure compliance with patterns of oppression. It can generate terror of errors of religious doctrine. Which has at times led to intolerance of other religions or differences within religion. So often enough people reject religion that has such teachings about heaven and hell. Conversely a belief in the certainty of eternal heaven could decrease one's focus on purging awareness that is of hell. To be crude, if one is certain they have an afterlife in heaven they might feel secure in doing whatever they want.

Heaven and hell are aspects of awareness.

We need not concern with questions of spiritual reality beyond our awareness.

Pragmatically we cannot observe the causal realms, but we can have a little knowledge based on what we can know. Until spaceflight no one saw the earth as a sphere but it was obvious from what we did know.

However we know a lot about human awareness including that spiritual awareness is available. But we can't much ignore everyday experience. If you are encouraged by others, you can realize it is possible to notice your awareness in such a way that you observe the content of your awareness. You can have awareness of awareness. This is like riding a bicycle, it is something you can do but not necessarily explain. However this quality of awareness of observation is not much valued. That is until by observation you can gain decrease of the intensity of being upset. In other words most people will not engage in the practice of observation of their personal awareness that often even if they are aware of its possibility.

Observation of experience is close to gaining awareness of emptiness.

Observation brings realization that you are not the experience itself.

You have experience of being angry but who you are is not the anger, you are not identified with being angry. So you don't have to justify it. You don't have to prove that you are right for being angry. You don't necessarily have to express it or act it out. You don't have to make it worse. You can back down, even apologize. That is if you can have observation of your emotions. It is not an easy ability to attain. Usually it takes a lot of practice. It takes a long time to get good at it.

So the slow climb out of hell begins by observation of your hellish patterns of awareness: attitudes, assumptions, emotions, sensations, thoughts. It includes observation of society and the world but not in a way to understand society and the world in order to gain mastery over it, but in a fluid way. Because there are patterns in society and of the world that correspond with your interior awareness. Thus to gain emptiness of patterns of awareness of society and the world is just as necessary as gaining emptiness of patterns of interior awareness. There is much intertwining of patterns of awareness that are interior and exterior.

Any significant decrease of patterns of habitual common awareness will yield confusion and distress. Discombobulation. Uncertainty about who you are and what reality is. Tolerance for such uncertainty is limited. You must go on each day without so much of a burden that you become too dysfunctional. So the climb out of hell is slow. It takes time to partly integrate significant changes in your set of awareness and experience. And as you make progress that set of awareness continually evolves. So reintegration is always necessary. Thus it will always be only a partial integration. You probably will seldom have complete certainty for very long.

Linda:

This sounds just too difficult.

Just too hard.

old vagabond:

You go at your own pace. You don't take on more than you can bear.

But this is important and the purpose for your being here.

You are doing it together.

Not everyone has the same burden. Everyone is different as to how they are evolving.

Not everyone has to focus on gaining emptiness, for some just have more spiritual awareness naturally and don't have to work at its increase.

Most important, if you experience life and love from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos nothing more is necessary. It is for those who are conscious of how far from heaven they are who might have motivation for the work needed to travel further from hell. And this is also relevant, in general men have to work harder than women. Because the hell of society developed as patriarchal, to make progress out of hell, men have more habitual common false awareness that they must free themselves from. Heaven is inherently matriarchal. Mariatheos is Mother of all Life and Love. Women are inherently closer to Her than men. But everyone is on the journey towards heaven.

a talk by old vagabond

Welcome to our Tuesday morning class.

Beginning today I am going to talk about Fredonia.

Fredonia is a myth.

Fredonia was a very small area in the mountains of southeast Europe, wherein resided a near utopian community hidden from the world for more than a millennia.

They worshipped Mariatheos, but unlike us, they had no need for a church because Mariatheos was everywhere. They knew Her Holy Spirit in nature and in the community. Babies knew Her Holy Spirit from infancy before they learned Her name. Thus the people of Fredonia were always immersed in Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. All culture and patterns of relationship and all work were part of their awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. There was no duality except between Fredonia and the outside world. The world was barely known. But it existed and it was not necessary to venture into it. But it was known that the world was not Fredonia. It was very different from Fredonia and not a place anyone from Fredonia would want to go. Although the specifics of how the world was not a good place were not known.

Fredonia is a myth.

But human beings have much if not most of their awareness in myth. Most of secular culture is myth including most of academia. If any system of knowledge and understanding is large and complex enough its underlying mythology is obscure; the foundational assumptions upon which everything else is based are usually mythology.

So the myth of Fredonia could contribute to the evolving knowledge and understanding of the community of Mariatheos. Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is leading us on a collective journey towards not only awareness of Mariatheos but awareness of Her heavenly community. Thus no matter how far away from it we are, we could be on our journey towards heaven.

A model of a utopian community can portray the community of heaven within which Holy Angeles live. Since we know nothing about that, we don't even know what angels are, we can know a cultural representation of a heavenly community. We can know a story of utopia.

old vagabond:

In Fredonia men and women lived separate from each other. But everyone in Fredonia loved everyone else. This can only happen if there is little to no eros. Because eros is intrinsically self centered, usually possessive, and sometimes brutally indifferent to others used to satisfy eros. Because of the distortions of modern society eros became integral to the widespread secular religion that many if not most modern people have adopted. Its unconscious assumptions are unexamined and its mythology unknown. But culture has incessantly communicated it. Intrinsically linked to the massive alienation within society, eros seems to be an escape no matter how common are generated tragic outcomes. I believe that indicates its mythology is deeply pessimistic. I think the assumption that life is inherently destined for death underlies celebration of desperate attempts for erotic transcendence that inevitably become tragic and result in decay or death.

In Fredonia awareness that Life and Love are universal and eternal was natural to everyone. There was no underlying pessimism, no assumption that death was permanent, or that the individual was centric to awareness. People in Fredonia had much more awareness of community than of themselves as individuals. Obviously individuals existed and everyone had slightly different patterns of participation and awareness; but those differences were never primary in people's awareness. Awareness of community or community awareness was always primary and the center of awareness. Something modern people might have trouble imagining.

Linda:

You paint way too dark a picture of modern society.

Yes, an addiction to eros is self destructive. But many people are hoping for or have attained love. Love contains eros but redeems it. Love is glorious, transcendent, and perhaps eternal.

old vagabond:

Romantic love seems to combine eros with virtuous love.

And to be fair some people are able to achieve that. Let us say you are one of them.

Because I really don't want you to take offense at anything I say. So this is not about you.

However many stories of romantic love are tragic. For a few people it is obvious love turned into hate. For many others it is hidden but still their experience. Often it is from the sense of betrayal. Someone felt they were virtuous in their love but their partner was selfish.

Unfortunately it is common to dismiss or be ignorant of one's own self centeredness and have much awareness of the self centeredness of another. It is the feeling of romantic love that displaces our awareness of another's self centeredness and gives the experience that we accept the other completely. However usually that feeling of love and acceptance of the other is temporary; and at some point awareness of the other's otherness develops. How and when romantic love dissipates is not understood. The betrayal is really that of one's own inability to maintain romantic love, which is not really from choice but from the mystery of psyche.

However marriage and partnership does not necessarily require romantic love. So it is possible for people to remain together for decades and remain fond of each other, or even grateful.

People lived in large households in Fredonia.

Their level of love and cooperation were beyond what most of us can imagine.

Where does such love and cooperation come from?

From Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

Also the wisdom necessary to live in such cooperation comes from

Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Where does the extremely fortunate gift of living undisturbed for more than a millennia come from? Providential beneficial circumstance comes from

Holy Spirit from Mariatheos!

We are never causal!

Everything we have is from not known and not understood spiritual causality.

However forces of decay come from lower level spiritual realms.

Forces of decay are not as malevolent as it would seem.

Forces of decay are automatic; they are integral to how the universe works.

Universal eternal Life intertwines with universal Great Void to create infinite patterns of life.

Because this is a dynamic process it produces change which manifests as time in the physical world.

In the 19th century forces of decay came to Fredonia.

However Angels and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos prepared Fredonia to adapt as best they could. Holy Spirit from Mariatheos could no longer continue to protect Fredonia from the larger world. Death and destruction would obliterate Fredonia in the 20th century if Fredonia remained in Europe. So it was necessary for all of the community of Fredonia to emigrate to America by the end of the 19th century. However it would take 2 centuries of change in order for Fredonia to be able to make the move. Especially in the 19th century changes would be significant. Those changes would decrease to some degree the level of enjoyment of life for the people of Fredonia. The changes would incorporate some degree of decay into the patterns of life in community. Fredonia would slowly move closer to the level of life experienced by people in the larger world.

In the 18th century small groups of men from Fredonia ventured out into the world.

They were especially skilled in listening to angelic guidance. For they were completely ignorant about the world and had to be guided where to go and what to do. They carried with them a few woolen rugs plus food and water. They were led to a market town on market day. They sat on the ground and set the rugs out before them. But mostly they listened to the Serbian language spoken all around them. And within their minds angels continually translated what they heard.

By the time of the emigration, Fredonia was very different. Men and women were married. A kinship network was the basis for each household. People knew their aunts, uncles, grandparents. The new set of relationships in each household brought less harmony than before. Men and women had very different awareness that partly conflicted. Marriage was an awkward forced joining of two people who didn't necessarily want to be joined. There was a separate church building with religious services very similar to eastern Orthodox Christianity. Thus nominally people believed in God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The new religion didn't seem natural to many people. However devotion to Maria Mother of God was substantial and most people prayed to Her as Mother and God. Although there was no exchange of money for the necessities of life within Fredonia before the emigration, most everyone was knowledgeable about how the world used money, how people were paid for labor and that there was an economic hierarchy. Knowledge of larger societies frightened some and destroyed the sense of security people had previously when Fredonia was all they knew. Fortunately the group of men who were traders and investors in commerce in the world had accumulated a significant fortune over one and a half centuries. It was they who made possible the emigration of everyone in Fredonia. And they were able to set up enterprise in America that could hire members of the Fredonian community in America and treat them fairly.

So we see that the utopian community of Fredonia had to severely compromise their community of awareness and their patterns of community in order to survive in the world. Thus it is not possible to maintain a utopian community if it is in the world.

A story of utopian community shows a little awareness of heaven. Obviously heaven is beyond the world. But we can gain some inspiration from heaven. We can gain inspiration from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Thus in having a little contemplation of community not that of the world, that might help us free our awareness from the limitations of our immersion in the world, from our deep assumptions that this is the only possible way to have community awareness.

Thus the story of Fredonia is a portrayal of a heaven like community that is not possible in the world. However we already are in the world; to be crude it is the hell we are all familiar with. But is it possible to escape from the hell of the world?

That is what the religion of Mariatheos is about.

It is a difficult journey but it is possible to make progress.

Because we at times have experienced life and love from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos,

we know directly that which we are making the journey towards.

Actually it is angels and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos who make our journey possible.

17 Mariatheos in America

Decay in America has been steady for many decades. The gulf between elites and everyone else is obscured by how much alienation has always existed in America especially between ethnic groups but inexorably between men and women. The decay of marriage as a stable framework for family obviously severely burdens children; but to obfuscate awareness of reality that generates too much grief and even guilt, people avoid paying too much attention to what they are helpless to solve for. However it is common for people to complain about larger patterns in society that they are powerless to change. Thus decades of political conflict generates what can be expected: gridlock, paralysis, and persistence of patterns in society people wish would change.

The church of Mariatheos grew from obscurity over a couple decades. Small church communities existed in many towns and cities. Group households of women and children shared responsibility for child care. Small church schools educated children very differently than secular schools. Men were about a quarter of the church community and half of them worked in small cooperative businesses. A few worked in the church schools. Some women and some men were well paid professionals and others held a diversity of jobs in society. But all who earned an income contributed a substantial portion of their incomes to the women's households even though men did not live there.

No one knows where the first church of Mariatheos came into existence. Because there were several small storefront churches by 2025 in several different cities. There were stories about the church of Mariatheos on the internet since 2020, but they were all fictional. Somehow some people were inspired to pray to Mariatheos. Eventually someone who worshipped Mariatheos also had the capacity for leadership, and could either inspire some others to adopt such worship or could find those in their area who already had such worship and call them into community.

New York

Alicia had hopes of a career in music that evaporated quickly after graduating college with a major in music. She soon reluctantly realized college had been a bubble that precluded awareness of the real world. So she had to make do as a server at a nice restaurant on Columbus Avenue. She shared an apartment just a mile uptown. One night after work she was on her computer tablet and came across a sponsored post that Read : "Mariatheos Mother of all Life. Available free, stories about the church of Mariatheos." She was curious and clicked on the link. She started to read, but got anxious and stopped reading. But a few days later her curiosity motivated her to go back and read the story.

Alicia spent a month reading all the stories available. She was alternately captivated and distressed. Distressed because if any of it was true, then everything would change for her in unpredictable ways. She cursed whoever wrote those stories and she especially resented a seemingly innocent sponsored post could lead to what was becoming a severe crisis of meaning in her life.

Two months after reading the stories about the church of Mariatheos, her life was thrown into turmoil because she had to move. The landlord had sold the building and no one's lease was being renewed. The new owner was going to thoroughly renovate the building. Their lease was up in three months. Her roommate was going to move out of New York back to her home town. For Alicia that was unthinkable but staying in New York might be too difficult. The prospect of a search for something affordable was daunting. She hated the subways, perhaps it was claustrophobia; so moving to the boroughs was really not possible. The landlord was gracious enough to give the last two months of the lease rent free. Alicia moved out with two weeks to spare.

New London

Because Alicia had no idea what to do or where to go, as bizarre as it might seem, she decided to follow the example of John Smith. In one of the stories she read John Smith moved from New York to New London. Supposedly there were a lot of restaurants on Bank street in New London. So one day she took the train to New London and walked up and down Bank street. She did have an overwhelming sense that indeed New London would be her new home. She went into a few restaurants and asked if they were hiring. In only an hour she found a job. Then she found an apartment on State street in a building just recently renovated. A nice one bedroom apartment for the same cost of what she was paying to share in Manhattan. Her sense of relief was large. In a few weeks she completed the move.

A couple weeks after her move to New London, Alicia walked by 38 Green street. She noticed there was a retail store at street level and apartments upstairs. In the story the retail space was the location of the church of Mariatheos and upstairs were art studios. Across the street there was indeed a Dutch Tavern; indeed it was old and charming and she soon became a regular. She loved New London, it wasn't overwhelming like New York; but it was old and interesting and with enough to do especially if one liked the comfort of going to same place on a regular basis. So that you got to know people and had some sense of community. She liked a few of her fellow servers at the restaurant and soon had a group of friends. She was surprised at how her life was now better than it was in New York, and all because she had the whim to look to a story for guidance.

Everything was going well for Alicia for several months. However one afternoon before going into work while sitting at her table having a cup of coffee she had a strange thought run through her mind: "is everything I am doing now in my life, really just trivial?" As soon as she recognised the thought she gasped and blurted out loud: "Oh My God, No!"

For she remembered that was an internal question that haunted Amy Hunter in a story she had almost forgot about ; but the same story that inspired her to move to New London. In the story Amy Hunter's life was turned upside down; and Alicia was afraid that might be her own fate. Also she was afraid because it might be that forces beyond her were in control of her life. Spiritual forces she didn't understand.

The crisis of meaning that disturbed her for a few weeks many months ago but subsided unresolved and forgotten in the focus on moving from her apartment in New York, that crisis returned; and she suspected this time she wouldn't be able to forget about it. She spent a week in some degree of anxiety without being able to focus any process of thought about it. But her low level chronic anxiety was easier to deal with at work than at play. In fact she couldn't enjoy anything like she used to. She was just honest with her friends; chronic anxiety made it impossible to do anything besides work; she was going to have to be a relative recluse; sorry. She silently dismissed all advice, but thanked them for their concern. In private she tried not to be dismissive of her friends entirely; but she started to severely doubt the value of so called friendships.

After two weeks of chronic anxiety Alicia just gave in. If her life was following a pattern similar to that of the stories she read a while ago, perhaps it was best to just use those stories as a guide to her life on the not understood path she was on. So she read the stories several times. Although she had no desire to pray, she did gain some insight into the process of decay of habitual awareness of her self in the world. Which was unavoidably happening to her.

The stories had much description of spiritual awareness of emptiness. This was valuable to Alicia as much of her previous assumptions about reality and herself were being exposed as false. Emptiness was actually a peaceful state of awareness. Eventually she did develop capacity and inspiration for prayer to Mariatheos. And surprisingly years later someone else started a small storefront church of Mariatheos in New London which she joined joyfully.

Boston

Theodore Sullivan lived in the back bay of Boston. He worked for a private equity firm downtown. He had relationships with wonderful women but they would end about 2 years in when it became clear that he resisted marriage and he didn't want children. It was something he couldn't quite admit to himself what was unfortunately obvious to his partners; that the relationship developed under false pretenses. Although usually the women weren't explicit about it either. It would ruin the romance if it seemed that they had an agenda. But a breakup always alters the perception of one's personal history.

However when Ted turned 35, some gear in his mind turned and unexpectedly released a gate that crashed down. He couldn't go on with the game as he used to. Too many breakups finally broke his ability to maintain self delusion. He became depressed because he was shut out of romance. He had prided himself that he wasn't callous enough to have casual intimacy; but now he couldn't ignore how false romance was. It was impossible to begin a romantic relationship while knowing it was false. So he stopped all flirtation. He was depressed to some degree for many months. Not enough to interfere with his job; but enough so he had to find something to replace what had been a major focus of his life.

Ted started to go the Museum of Fine Arts. He focused on the paintings and avoided looking at people. The more often he went, which meant looking at the same paintings again and again, the more real some of the paintings became. He was starting to get almost mystical experience. Because of the quiet joy he experienced he didn't have anxiety about what was slowly happening for him. But he spent as much time each weekend at the museum as he could. In fact he started to book a hotel Saturday night in New York and go to the Metropolitan and the Modern. A year after he stopped playing the game of romantic love, he could admit that he was obsessed with art.

By the time he was 40 Ted Sullivan had opened his own gallery on Newbury street. He searched the internet for unknown artists who had relatively old fashioned styles of painting. The paintings he showed at his gallery were vaguely impressionist or realist, and beautiful and transcendent. His gallery was the opposite of hip contemporary, and he knew he was laughed at by many in the art world. But he didn't care. He didn't come up through the art world, he was curating his own little world of art.

One recent artist he discovered did wonderful paintings all titled Visions of Mariatheos, and differentiated only by number. Mariatheos was unable to be identified by ethnicity, for her face was of multiple colors and her robe emanated rainbows of misty light. What could have been chaos was skillfully portrayed so as to be exquisitely beautiful. Every painting similar yet unique. Ted carried as many has he could and outright bought quite a few. For some reason this artist was overlooked by other galleries. Unfortunately many might judge her paintings as too romantic. They weren't romantic but absolutely transcendent; but perhaps only some could perceive that.

Kansas

Jennifer Montcloud lived in a suburb of Wichita. Her husband was a well paid attorney practicing corporate law. Her youngest had just left for college and empty nest syndrome is real if it hits you hard. Thankfully her husband was compassionate and understood her depression. She took up painting as a way to focus on something; not much else could distract her from her sadness.

It was something she used to do as a teenager. Back then she wasn't bad; her paintings were of stylized beautiful women in idealized natural settings. Even though a teenager she had just enough realistic self awareness to know her art work would be judged as fluff; but her friends loved them and begged her for a painting. She gave them away but some parents insisted to pay her for them. A couple hundred dollars was welcome and allowed her to avoid getting an after school job.

When Jennifer resumed painting decades later, she hadn't lost her skills but she lost a lot of naivete. Her paintings were still of stylized women but emotionally they were self portraits. Sadness, distress, confusion, even despair were expressions she evoked, both in the portrayals of the women and of the settings.

One day as Jennifer was browsing social media, she came across a sponsored post that read in part: " Mariatheos Mother of all Life ". For some reason she didn't ignore it, but paused not really in thought. Jennifer was brought up Catholic but tried to avoid going to church as a teenager. It was all empty ritual to her but she loved her mother who was devout. When she went away to college she dropped religion completely. When she met her future husband and found out he was Methodist and was a believer, she was relieved he didn't judge her. When they got married they both became Episcopalian mostly because of the social prestige. Although Jennifer didn't believe in God she enjoyed the beauty and peacefulness of the church and the church service. She knew that people who attended the Episcopal church could range from agnostic to devout; everyone was pleasant and non judgmental.

Jennifer clicked on the link and started to read the stories available. She had to stop several times and then completely. Something was happening to her that was overwhelming and not understood. What she would later know was an infilling from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. It took her two weeks to intermittently complete reading the stories. What was more important was the development of her spiritual awareness. Indeed she felt as if she was being inundated with a flood of barely tolerable sensation. Years of being in the church made her very familiar with spiritual language she previously didn't believe in. But now she was grateful she had some religious knowledge with which she could understand what was happening to her. Except Holy Spirit was not from the Trinitarian God, but from Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love.

After several weeks of fast development of new patterns of spiritual awareness, in which she could do little but take walks and sit looking out the window at the garden, Jennifer resumed painting. However what she painted changed considerably; she painted visions of Mariatheos.

Over years Jennifer's paintings were starting to fill the bedrooms of her children who came back home sporadically. They could not complain that they had to share their rooms with paintings. Her children were a little relieved that their mother had escaped from depression; but they were bewildered by her religious enthusiasm. Her husband was more than relieved, not only had he been worried but to put it mildly it is not fun to live with someone who is depressed. Howard was open minded and if Jennifer worshipped Mariatheos then that was great. Although she didn't want to go to church that often. For it did conflict with what she knew. It was helpful that the church was not dogmatic and accepted religious diversity.

Although Jennifer's art work was included by an online art gallery that contained hundreds of artists, her sales were few until the Theodore Sullivan gallery in Boston discovered her and asked to show a dozen of her paintings. Even more amazing was that the owner bought five of them. Jennifer knew this was the work of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos and she was grateful.

Boston

There were always about a dozen artists whose work were on the walls at the same time at the Theodore Sullivan gallery. It was a long deep space well lighted of course, so it could contain a lot of paintings. Ted didn't necessarily rotate artists every month. It was more according to how much he enjoyed the art work that determined how long some artist's work remained on the walls. It was not just that Ted's motivation was not about making money; if making money was his motivation he never would have left the private equity firm he had worked at. But also what sold and when was not predictable. An artist's work might have no sales for two months and then suddenly it becomes popular. Jennifer's paintings were going to stay indefinitely. Two paintings that Ted owned were displayed as not for sale; and three were hanging on the walls of his home.

Visiting the galleries on Newbury street was a pastime of many people who had no intention of buying a painting. That included many visitors to Boston from out of town. Over several months many people had seen the paintings " Visions of Mariatheos ". Some of them searched online curious about "Mariatheos"; and a few of them read the stories that originally inspired Jennifer Montcloud.

New England

First in eastern Massachusetts and later in New York and New England, a growing network of friends developed who discovered Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. Although loosely intertwined, most people were only aware of a small group of people who worshipped Mariatheos. So it felt like a secret club. Because if someone mentioned their new found religious awareness to others who did not share it, they were subject to ridicule from those who tended towards atheism and sometimes fierce argument from those who were Christian. Even a friend or acquaintance who tended towards alternative spirituality, really couldn't relate to them. Thus it was groups of people who knew each other and had similar spiritual awareness who formed the beginnings of the churches of Mariatheos.

America

Some people who discovered Mariatheos were at first so enthusiastic that they ignored the negative reactions of others. Because it was often via social media that they communicated, they could block or ignore criticism. But a few people might be intrigued, and ask questions. They might read the stories available on line. After a while people often became more reticent and less open about Mariatheos; but by then they had a small group of friends who also valued their awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

Thus slowly and organically worship of Mariatheos spread across America in spite of ridicule and argument against them. If enough people in an area developed awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, one of them would be inspired to rent a vacant retail space and open a storefront church of Mariatheos. They would not necessarily know if it would be well attended, but even a small group could grow once it was established. People contributed to their new church as inspired and a couple people accepted the role of leadership. Others became the source of music and song. It was obvious to everyone that the small community of their church was gathered by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos and that Holy Spirit is what inspired their cooperation with each other. It was Holy Spirit from Mariatheos in which they were immersed as a worship community as they gathered to worship Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love.

18 Universal Creation Church

There was a storefront church in Kirkland Massachusetts called the universal creation church. A lot of its members were workers in the restaurants, bars, and music clubs located downtown. Kirkland transformed from a small city of declining industry and commerce into a successful tourist town in the last few decades of the 20th century.

The church taught that everything exists in a dynamic unity. Patterns of existence are created, and they grow, decay and disintegrate. However one's awareness has capacity to transcend patterns limited to such a cycle. This process of detachment of awareness from patterns that are created and destroyed necessarily includes patterns people normally identify with such as the human body. But it includes all the specific patterns of life people assume are intrinsic to who they are: community, nation, culture, environment, circumstance, relationships, possessions, thoughts, emotions, and anything one resists the loss of.

Stephen Milos was the original founder of the church.

He had a life altering epiphany while driving a truck of produce from farms in eastern Oregon to Portland. It was a couple years after he had left a commune in the area. He had been often preoccupied with trying to understand his disillusionment with the religion he once believed in at the commune. It was a compelling version of Christianity that generated enthusiasm from the mostly younger people of the community. It was not the boring church of his childhood. But after leaving he realized it still had all the problems of the Christian church.

There was the separation of the saved who went to Heaven and the damned who went to eternal Hell. This just seemed wrong. It seemed impossible that a loving God would condemn people to an eternal Hell; perhaps for nothing more than not joining the Christian church. As long as people in the church believed that they were saved it didn't matter who went to Hell. But in hindsight this seemed an incredibly selfish attitude. And fear of Hell kept everyone motivated to keep in the good regards of the church and therefore of its leaders.

It was the instinctive resentment of being subtly controlled by the leadership of the church that eventually forced Stephen to leave.

Stephen lived in a group household with people who were also somewhat counterculture. The living room had bookshelves with books placed there by various people over the years. Stephen read books on spirituality very different from the Christianity he was familiar with. Although he was often fascinated by what he was reading the total effect from reading different books over time was a profound confusion. He was beginning to feel hopeless he would ever understand spiritual reality. After a while he grudgingly accepted ignorance was all he would know. He stopped reading books and just got on with his life.

However Stephen's awareness was different and continued to change. At seemingly random moments he would have a spiritual realization, often joined with some experiential grace. He didn't try and hold onto such realizations but sort of returned to his natural state of ignorance. At times he would have the realization that ignorance is the reality of human awareness. Emptiness of needless thought was a more natural state of mind, with less anxiety and depression, than yearning and searching for understanding.

Thus Stephen was not grasping for understanding. If a spiritual realization developed it was appreciated but when it dissipated that was fine.

One day however while driving his truck he had to suddenly pull over to the side. He couldn't drive as a flood of realizations would not stop. He barely knew what was happening but was fascinated with what he was learning. For it was more than just ideas but a deep knowing that he felt certain of. After a while he regained something like his familiar acceptance of emptiness but joined with a sense of fullness, ignorance but joined with knowledge.

After his epiphany, Stephen became much more talkative. Fortunately people were interested in what he was saying and they asked questions that he easily and spontaneously answered. So it did seem to many that he was indeed enlightened.

The house gained more visitors who wanted to hear Stephen; and a community of people gathered at the house. In only about 6 months the house was overcrowded. A few people felt strongly more people should have the opportunity to learn from Stephen. They moved to Portland and rented a storefront space. Within a couple months most of the community moved to Portland including Stephen. He gave talks at the storefront space that became known as the universal creation church.

universal creation church, Portland

Stephen Milos:

Thank you all for being here. It is great to be able to talk to you about the vast unity of creation. Unity is mostly just an awareness that you have. Just the idea of unity can give you some experience of it. But we live in a vast complex reality that we don't understand. Complexity includes a vast multiplicity of different patterns of existence. Most obvious are people, and most important is the difference between you and everything else. However to a great extent your focus or level of attention on your separation from everything else can change. The goal of this church is to help you decrease your awareness of separation and increase your awareness of not only the unity of creation but also your inclusion in the unity of creation. Thus no one is asked to deny their unique patterns of existence. The unity of creation includes every and all infinite patterns of reality in all their differences. It is false to deny difference and distinction; but it is also false to deny the myriad ways that everything is integrated into the vast unity of creation. It is false to deny commonality; to deny the reality of everyone else who is also human. Thus unavoidably humility is necessary to be fully aware of reality. To know that you are, that you exist; but that everyone and everything also exist. Thus because you exist your awareness is necessarily very limited. You can only know relatively little. But you can know general principles, you can have awareness of universal unity. Human beings have capacity for such holistic awareness. But the amount of detail we know as individuals is inherently limited.

Stephen Milos:

It is within your awareness that you have focus on what is in growth or what is in decay. Growth is a process of integration and has an inherent unity. Decay is a process of disintegration and has an inherent fragmentation. Thus it is in the microcosm of your awareness wherein you experience modalities that are vast and universal. We cannot know all patterns and aspects of the totality of creation; but we can have an intuition of the totality and unity of creation. Conversely we don't know all patterns of decay within creation; but unfortunately we are burdened with knowledge of some patterns of decay. What is available in this community of people is a shared focus on the universal unity of creation; not all the time but perhaps more than before you joined the church. We are human and must face the decay of patterns of life we are attached to. But by remembering universal principles we might more quickly shift our focus to the continual presence of life even if patterns of life change.

Being in community brings us into some degree of unity. Everyone contributes to our community by your very presence. However please try and be considerate of each other; it is not necessarily helpful to just repeat phrases that you hear me say. It is an intuition not to overly sympathize with someone's focus on disintegration and yet not try and force someone to change their focus. That never works and usually generates conflict or resentment. If you maintain your focus on universal life, another might be inspired by that. However community has its own mysterious source of inspiration and thus spontaneous participation. Our awareness of the unity of universal creation actually comes from universal creation. Our life comes from the Source of All Life. If this seems like that is a description of god, then it is possible to have different awareness of god than that taught by traditional religion. Unfortunately traditional religion has such a lock on the understanding of the word god that I am reluctant to use it. So it seems better to use other words to describe Original Source of universal creation and universal Life.

Stephen Milos:

Awareness of universal creation is deeply satisfying and can yield faith, not in anything specific but in the integration of anything and everything into the totality of universal creation. Faith in Original Source of universal creation. Thus even though you might know very little you can have an intuitive trust in universal creation. And yes, even in the patterns of decay. Thus it is possible to transcend common anxious anticipation of possible patterns of decay, in other words worry and anxiety. It is possible to transcend common resistance to experience of decay that is unavoidable. This can free our attention on the wonder of all that exists and the abundance of life. We can deeply appreciate Life as universal and stop selfishly focusing mostly only on one's own life. All of this is possible; but unfortunately not probable it can be sustained. It is probable moments of transcendence will alternate with more moments of the limitations of common awareness. But recurring transcendent awareness not only has its own grace, but contributes to the evolution of our awareness. Thus not always apparent we make progress in gaining more awareness of universal creation from original source. Also not always apparent we progress in attaining spiritual virtues that contribute to others. As a community we progress in attaining a degree of sanctification.

The universal creation church increased the number of times a week they held gatherings to accommodate the growing numbers of people coming to the church. Enthusiasm was high and many people went several times a week. A gathering also included much music. Some people were inspired and wrote songs to express their moments of transcendent experience. Some recited poems they wrote inspired by their spiritual awareness. And eventually a few gave spiritual talks and Stephen could be free from always having that responsibility.

After a few years Stephen felt the universal creation church could thrive without him. For he was feeling the urge to go to another city and start another universal creation church. Some of his friends also felt inspired to contribute to such a project. After enough discussion a small group committed to the plan. They would move to Santa Rosa California and start a new church there. Obviously many in the church community in Portland were sad to see Stephen go. However they needed to accept the loss and some were happy that others would discover the wonder of universal creation.

During almost 2 decades Stephen Milos and a small leadership group had traveled to 9 cities in America and formed a universal creation church in each. After about two years in each city the church was strong enough to continue on its own and Stephen and a small group moved to a different city to start again. When Stephen moved to Kirkland Massachusetts he knew that was the final move. He needed to settle into a community for a while.

Before Stephen and a leadership team moved to Kirkland, Stephen had stopped giving talks at church gatherings. Other people had developed that capacity and that included some who made the move to Kirkland. Stephen had become less active in the church and more withdrawn. In hindsight he realized he had been in a low level mania since his epiphany on the road many years before. Now he was in a low level depression, but he fully accepted that. He spent more time in contemplation and welcomed the evolution of the church that no longer depended on him. As an organization the church continued to pay him a small salary for being a consultant and a counselor to church members.

Stephen had never married. His awareness of universal patterns facilitated a high standard of personal ethics. He felt it would be unfair to have children who might suffer from recurring moves to different cities. He couldn't ask the church to pay him more so he could support a family and it would not be fair to his wife for her to be both mother and the major source of income. He knew women were attracted to him but he had to assume that they were conflating spiritual enthusiasm and romantic desire and perhaps status seeking within the church community. It was probable that any romantic relationship could end with a woman feeling betrayed by him because the fantasy did not match reality. It was always possible a woman might feel he abused his position of leadership for personal satisfaction. In any case his focus for many years was almost exclusively within the church. Countless hours talking, consulting, discussing, and planning with others consumed almost all of his time in addition to his being at every church gathering.

So to be crude after about a decade and a half he had burned out. So he withdrew from active participation in the church to a significant degree. Fortunately others were more than capable of replacing his leadership.

Although he had a strong commitment to avoiding romantic relationships, Stephen Milos suffered a degree of sadness from that void in his life. That suffering became more conscious as his life slowed down considerably and he was in contemplation much more often. Although he had capacity to accept any experience he was having, within contemplation he pondered the problem of loneliness and the problems of romantic relationship that seemed to be a solution to loneliness but he knew was not. For he had vast past experience listening to people troubled by their romantic relationships and especially their disintegration. It was a major source of suffering for people. The problems of marriage and of separation and divorce were also a huge source of suffering. The universal creation church did contribute to people having some capacity to transcend their suffering. However that capacity was limited and the more severe the emotional pain the less of a contribution the church seemed able to give. However it doesn't take that much spiritual awareness to generate community. Community has its own mysterious source of creation that is self perpetuating. People usually get much from the mutual support and affirmation of people who belong to their community. So it does not necessarily take a lot of transcendent awareness to keep the enthusiasm going. Just the hope of attaining some transcendent awareness might be enough.

Stephen had to avoid his household at times. Others would inevitably involve him in discussions about the church. So to escape always focusing on the church he would go to town. One place he liked was Lucky's Diner. It was unusually large and often busy. Between lunch and dinner however it was slow and he felt he could stay a while without ordering a full meal. It was a place that he could be in contemplation although at times he enjoyed the distractions of overhearing conversation and noticing different people. He knew that all he observed was equally a manifestation of universal creation.

Paul Fieldstone was also a regular during afternoons at Lucky's Diner. He would sit at a table and draw in his notebook unless someone he knew would sit down and talk to him. Usually he said very little and was attentive for a while. But if he felt overwhelmed or bored he would switch focus back to drawing. After a moment the other would wish him a good afternoon and get up and leave. Sometimes Stephen would notice Paul but the diner was large and often Stephen didn't notice him. One afternoon Stephen was sitting at a table and Paul walked over to him with an intense look, a mixture of anxiety and earnestness. Paul just placed a sheet of paper on his table and walked on. Stephen had never met Paul and didn't know his name. On the sketchbook paper were hand drawn just a few words: Oakport, encircled by complex abstract drawing that were reminiscent of leaves, and Chapels of Our Divine Mother, encircled by similar drawing.

Although Stephen was not disturbed by the incident it was one of the most unusual he had experienced. He definitely couldn't dismiss it as nothing. He didn't dismiss Paul as an unimportant eccentric. This was definitely a message that was worth pondering over. But he would have to wait until he got home and could do a computer search of both Oakport and Chapels of Our Divine Mother.

Stephen read the descriptions people gave about their experiences at the chapels of our Divine Mother in Oakport Massachusetts and of their spiritual awareness of Divine Mother in their lives. Some thought of Her as Mother Mary and remained Christian, while most did not and were not necessarily Christian. There was no theology of Our Divine Mother or rather everyone had their own personal theological understanding. Actually most people did not have any detailed theological understanding and probably had little use for the word theology.

Stephen was intrigued and was open to the possibility of contemplation of Our Divine Mother because there was no doctrine or belief system he had to agree with. But he did not yet feel inspiration to so. The idea of visiting Oakport and the chapels of our Divine Mother was only slightly considered; mostly for some reason he had resistance to the possibility. So after a few days he didn't think much about it.

Stephen couldn't quite admit he was on spiritual search. He was even a little disillusioned with the church he was founder of. Or was he? Two decades ago he started talking and a church formed around his talks. But it was others who organized the church. And now it was apparent the church didn't need him. In spite of the spiritual wisdom he had, Stephen felt he was missing something. And he didn't know what to do. He wasn't going to read all the spiritual books available in the world. He was going to wait for answers to come from within, from contemplation. What he didn't expect is that his dreams would become a focus of contemplation.

In his dreams Stephen was a boy wandering around a huge house, a mansion, with gardens and grass fields surrounding. People were everywhere, slightly familiar but unknown. They spoke both Greek and English and clothing and furniture and architecture were from many decades ago, perhaps a century in the past. But everyone was enjoying each other. Sometimes he witnessed a dinner around a large table, sometimes dancing to Greek music, sometimes a picnic, and sometimes a religious ceremony but not necessarily Christian. In one of the last dreams he had, there was a gathering in a field, everyone singing religious hymns, looking up to the sky. One word that he remembered them singing was Mariatheos, again and again. And before he woke up he saw in the sky a beautiful woman emanating different colored light, a vision of power and compassion. She was Mariatheos.

This series of dreams only lasted several days. But they were often a focus of contemplation for months.

Stephen's father was raised in the Greek Orthodox church but his mother belonged to the Methodist church. His parents were married in her church and that was where the family went on Sundays. But as a boy religion just seemed a formality expected of people but he never really knew why. Sometimes he would attend a Greek Orthodox church service if someone on his fathers side of the family got married. He loved his grandparents and sometimes his family visited them on Christmas or Easter and shared a little in the religious tradition of that side of the family. Other times they visited his mother's side of the family on holidays. So in hindsight he learned as a boy that religion was cultural, it had no absolute truth, only the tradition that survived from the past. Which when he was a young adult was relatively little. So he was not knowingly on spiritual search. And when he and a friend heard a band from a commune in Eastern Oregon that was touring the Midwest, they were captivated by the music and became so curious about the commune that they drove out there months later. Stephen felt he had come home. He fell in love with the community and wanted to join. His friend not so much. So Stephen stayed and his friend drove back to Wisconsin.

Although Stephen prayed while he belonged to the church of the commune he lived at for a couple years; after he left he lost his faith. Then he began to understand prayer as just an aspect of the awareness of whatever religious community one participated in. Awareness of transcendence is universal. It gets joined with whatever religious awareness one has and indeed with whatever personal awareness one has. Some people at the commune were unusually close to God, but their perception of God seemed to be unusually close to their personal understanding of reality including their specific circumstance. In hindsight Stephen didn't trust anyone's claim to know God. He didn't believe any church's teaching about God. It was obvious to him that everyone and every community had their own different spiritual cultural awareness and understanding. Unfortunately they often conflicted and sometimes in the world and historically that conflict was violent.

Stephen's spiritual awareness development seemed to solve for all the differences of religion and of personal spiritual awareness. Universal creation included everything and everyone in all their differences and even in their conflicts. People had welcomed his communication of this understanding and adopted it as their own. And now there was no need for him to teach it anymore. Others were the spiritual teachers of the universal creation church.

Stephen was becoming convinced that his spiritual understanding was incomplete. Something was missing and he was beginning to suspect that traditional religion contained wisdom he didn't understand. Something that was common to them all in spite of their differences and disagreements; and that was prayer. Stephen moved beyond his previous long held assumption that prayer was just awareness generated by the individual in contemplation of the spiritual culture of their religious tradition. He was beginning to accept the possibility that prayer was a way for an influx of awareness or even energy from realms closer to original source. Perhaps prayer was a modality of the spiritual forces of creation that manifest within the diversity of religion and spirituality and within the diversity of individual experience.

Perhaps prayer is a way to be open to to original source of universal creation more than one would be otherwise. Thus not having prayer is more possible if there is less need for continual inspiration from original source. Which is what modern society provides; people have much more power to gain what they want using secular knowledge and technology, and by participating in secular institutions and organizations. Modern society gives the false illusion of self sufficiency. However disillusionment with both self and society can develop when neither can solve for some level of experiential crisis.

People turn to spirituality when nothing else solves for distress. Obviously there is a great diversity of spiritual communities that one can seek inspiration from. And the universal creation church has been one such community. However after a time of participation in a specific spiritual community dissatisfaction may develop and one's spiritual search resumes. This happened for Stephen after a couple years at the commune in eastern Oregon and it was happening now after a couple decades in the universal creation church.

Stephen realized that original source of universal creation was too much of an abstract idea for it to be conducive to prayer. It was a great spiritual understanding but it did not provide what traditional religion gave people and that was Deity. Deity could hear prayer, know the person and communicate grace. Since Stephen already conceptually accepted all of universal creation he should be able to accept the existence of all Deities. But the contemplation of the reality of Deity was a shock. Previously, really without giving it much consideration, he had dismissed the intense reality of all religion and maintained the secular attitude that religion was just cultural. Now he realized all religion was extremely real. It was not too much of an exaggeration that he experienced the end of the world as he knew it. He now had the revelation of the spiritual realms joined with the world as powerful, mysterious, full of life, and not knowable. Frightened he felt an extreme need for prayer, but he did not know who to pray to. He half envisioned and half remembered the dream image of Mariatheos full of light. So he prayed a simple prayer: Divine Mother Mariatheos help me! Miraculously he still envisioning Her, felt Her love for him. He began to weep in gratitude; he was a child of Mariatheos, Our Divine Mother.

Unfortunately for Stephen discovery of Mariatheos as reality threw his life into chaos. The brief moment of experience of Divine Love revealed the grief that he came to understand as existential. Grief was chronic and only varied in intensity. Although it seemed to be about being alone he knew from counseling hundreds of people, relationship or marriage was not necessarily a solution. Immersion in the church community was partly a solution that he had to distance himself from for a couple years. But the church was still his home and he had nothing else. But now he was even more estranged; his emotional turmoil he couldn't burden anyone with and for lack of a better phrase, he was now theologically far away from that of the universal creation church. He would have to solve for his distress on his own.

Fortunately the church was compassionate and assured Stephen that he could take a sabbatical from participation in the church and continue to receive his previous income. That was a relief because he was no longer capable of being available for consultation or counseling. Although it was a humiliation to feel dysfunctional he accepted that he was on a purgatorial inner pilgrimage and he had faith Mariatheos would provide guidance. Mostly he just tried to observe his emotional experience. Not only was it part of his existence, millions of others felt similar grief. Grief was undoubtedly from universal creation as were all the distressful aspects of life. It was just time for him to be much more aware of it.

But he had to reorient his spiritual understanding. He began to consider religion as the most fundamental aspect of humanity. The growth of secular knowledge was historically recent and the assumption that secular awareness is sufficient and religion not necessary is an even more recent development. Of course not all believe that. However some people who have spiritual awareness still maintain much of that assumption. Because the contradictions and hypocrisy of religion seem too evident. However the vessel might be crude and old but still hold water. And it is not the language or beliefs of religion that are important but the essence of spiritual experience that is invaluable. A connection to the Source of All Life through Deity.

Barbara Tocqueville joined the church soon after it began in Omaha and she moved with the leadership group that started new churches ever since. She was one staff member who wasn't going to let Stephen distance himself for too long before she insisted on talking to him. So after a few weeks of his sustained inner crisis that he was stoic enough to accept on his own, he agreed to meet with her one afternoon at Lucky's Diner.

Barbara:

Stephen, we've known each other a long time. I hope you can feel enough trust in me that I am not going to judge anything you tell me. So please what is going on?

-Stephen was a little grateful for her concern and she probably was the person he felt could best understand if anyone could. So after a moment he spoke:

Thank you Barbara. It is difficult because it is not just that grief is much more conscious for me than previously. But truth be told I have suffered disillusionment with our church. So it feels like a dilemma as to my relationship with the church.

Barbara:

Listen, that's ok. It doesn't matter how much your awareness is different from before. The church teaches as an ideal, acceptance of any and all reality no matter how diverse. Surely that includes you!

They both laughed a little.

Stephen:

Yes, but as an ideal. The reality of the church is that it cannot be too diverse and maintain its cohesion. For almost two decades my communication has been consistent and the other leaders of the church have been not too different in their awareness and communication. Even when I started to withdraw from a high level of participation, my communication has not contradicted the awareness of the church community. But now I believe something very different and it is too incongruent with what everyone else understands.

Barbara smiled:

Try me!

Stephen:

Ok. Through my somewhat difficult process of contemplation, I have realized traditional religion possessed a great truth that previously I ignored. And that is prayer. Prayer is a real avenue of communication with original source of universal creation. However that phrase that we know so well is not psychologically conducive to prayer. It is a great way to understand spiritual reality but not a great way to experience directly high influx from spiritual reality. So religion has Deity. Jesus Christ is Deity who can hear your prayer, know who you are , know everything about you, and deliver grace. Those who pray to and trust Jesus have grace that perhaps many in our church do not.

Barbara:

So you are now a Christian?

Stephen:

Actually no. But I have much more appreciation of Christianity than I did before. However any and all Deity can provide an avenue of grace. Those who are Hindu might focus their devotion to one out of a multitude of Deities. Defacto for Catholics and Eastern Orthodox Mother Mary is Deity perhaps more important to some people than Jesus is. And that leads me very close to what I believe.

Barbara:

Yes? Please tell me.

Stephen:

Probably it is because of my Greek Orthodox heritage from my father. I had a dream that only later was I convinced was divine revelation. For me universal source of all life is Mariatheos Our Divine Mother.

Barbara:

Mariatheos? Doesn't that mean Maria who is god?

Stephen:

Precisely. Because I don't believe that any religion has an exclusive claim to truth and in fact every religion has a way to spiritual knowledge, it is possible for me to worship Deity that no one else does. However I think that millions of Christians with intense Marian devotion are in effect worshiping Maria as God. But the theology of the Catholic and Orthodox churches cannot accept that. However the difference between practice and theory is a well known principle that especially applies to religion. But I am not in any Christian church and have the freedom to follow the revelation that comes to me.

Barbara:

Wow. This is fascinating. Don't think I am dismissing anything you have said. Of course your experience is not my experience. But what you have said explains a lot. Including perhaps why the universal creation church has not grown much larger. And why the Christian church persists in spite of all the problems it has that seem obvious to those outside of the Christian church. Mariatheos! How marvelous. It was my serious problem with the patriarchal nature of the Christian church that forced me out of it a long time ago. And it has been the absence of the male deity in the universal creation church that has made my participation possible. But I guess I have maintained the partly unconscious assumption that Deity is not real. Which contributes to the mostly unconscious assumption that all religion is false. Although we call ourselves a church we don't claim to have religion but to have spiritual knowledge and understanding. So there is an implied critique of religion and many people who join us definitely have had a problem with religion.

Stephen:

Yes. Our church has been a refuge for people alienated from the Christian church. That was what drove me on a spiritual search to find an alternative decades ago. However recently I have been on spiritual search again. And by mysterious grace Mariatheos has been revealed to me. So it's not academic; it doesn't matter if there is some general spiritual understanding that explains what I experience. To be crude if I was stupid Mariatheos would be real for me. But only for me. She is not real to others. No one in the universal creation church is going to adopt belief in Mariatheos!

Barbara was silent before she smiled and responded:

Don't be so sure.

After her talk with Stephen, Barbara began to experience more distress in her life. She had a heightened sense of irritation with people and a higher level of chronic anxiety. Unfortunately this was not only making her less able to do her work for the church but in spite of her best efforts it was disagreeable for others to be around her. She was asked to take a leave of absence from the church. It was difficult to accept she was in crisis. But a little she was secretly glad to get away from the church. She had too much doubt and confusion about the church which had been her whole world for more than a decade. She had never married. Fear of divorce was part of that decision. But she couldn't help but compare her present situation with a breakup of a marriage.

While talking with Stephen she had no idea that its aftermath would be so unsettling. She regretted she had become so disturbed and thus so disturbing to others. But she had counseled enough people to know that the decay of a relationship is seldom without emotional turmoil or obnoxious behavior that no one wants. So leaving a long term relationship is often difficult because there are so many inner conflicts that only get resolved by making the continuation of past participation impossible. But she had no idea she was ever going to leave the universal creation church. Everything that developed after she talked with Stephen at Lucky's Diner was completely unexpected. And she couldn't help but resent him for it.

Although Barbara was feeling a little bitterness towards Stephen, he was really the only person who might be able to help her. So with a bit of dread and anticipation she asked for him to meet her to talk. So one afternoon they met again at Lucky's Diner.

Barbara:

You know it is good to see you. But I can't help but blame you for what happened to me. After our last talk I had no idea a hurricane of distress and trouble was heading my way. Guess you know I was in effect fired. I am no longer welcome at the church, the only family I have had for a dozen years. I don't know how severe your estrangement from the church is but you must be having a difficult time with being to some degree in exile.

Stephen:

So sorry for what you have been going through. Guess I understand how it appears to be my fault. However I must remind you that you asked to have that fateful talk. Wish you weren't suffering but it might have purpose.

Barbara:

Yes, I wanted to know what was going on with you. But I had no idea it would afflict me also.

-They both smiled a little.

Barbara:

Maybe you can tell me. What the hell is going on?

Stephen waited a moment before talking:

Ok, the short answer is it is purgatory.

Habitual awareness must decay before there develops awareness that is closer to original source. All previous gain of spiritual awareness has been at a lower level than what we will gain after the distressful disintegration of fundamental patterns of awareness that comprise who we are. The old self must decay to allow a new way of being aware of life to grow.

Importantly it is not much of a choice. It happens to us guided by not known spiritual forces. The process develops within cycles; patterns of awareness suffer decay and awareness from spiritual grace develops. Grace is not always obvious; sometimes it is just forgetting the problems that persist. But it might be a realization or insight. For me grace can be moments of prayer. But difficult and distressful awareness always returns. So it is not obvious if we are making progress.

Barbara:

Yes, sometimes I get realizations. But they don't seem important because suffering persists. Circumstance doesn't change. Exile persists.

Stephen:

One doesn't climb a mountain without leaving the village.

I have had a little high level spiritual experience. So I have faith my journey is being guided from a high level spiritual place. You might not yet have had such experience but eventually you might. Again we have no choice. Whatever made it impossible for us to stay in the church is from forces beyond us. For me there are moments of prayer which give some awareness of the source of those forces. Mariatheos.

Barbara:

No, prayer is not yet available for me. However it does seem that experience develops in cycles. Maybe eventually prayer will be possible. Ok, guess I can be a little stoic about my life and just bear whatever burden I have. The future is not known.

Thank you Stephen. Perhaps we can talk again sometime.

Stephen:

That would be good.

After a while Barbara suffered less turmoil as she partly accepted her situation. She still had the spiritual/psychological capacity for incremental transcendence that she developed over the years she had been participating in the universal creation church. She grudgingly accepted Stephen's assumption that a higher level of distress is prerequisite for higher levels of spiritual awareness and experience. However she had little conviction that was so, not even much hope, just some acceptance of that which is not avoidable.

Barbara settled into a less turbulent state and that was depression. Being without the constant immersion in the church community was a persistent loss generating persistent sadness. Ironically the church taught the value of acceptance of every and all experience; but she really couldn't accept the loss of the community of the church.

Barbara didn't know how to gain the capacity for prayer but she was starting to envy those who did. So she decided to talk to Stephen again. They met again at Lucky's Diner.

Stephen:

Good to see you. How have you been doing?

Barbara:

A little better. Thank you for talking with me.

Stephen:

Glad to.

Barbara:

What I want to ask you about is prayer. How does one gain capacity for prayer?

Stephen:

Ok, this is difficult. To some degree it is a mystery. But I have had some realizations as I gained capacity. Obviously millions of people have that capacity and for some it is as natural as breathing. However many go through the motions of prayer but they have no communication with higher spiritual realms. Thus for many people recitation of prayer is just a community ritual that might have some value especially in generating community solidarity. Even private prayer could be motivated by the need to affirm relationship with the community.

However millions of people have true prayer. They are in some degree of communication with higher spiritual reality. They do experience some level of grace. Many young children have natural capacity for prayer. They don't necessarily learn the ritual prayers of their community. All they might need is a vague idea of god or the name of Deity. Thus my conclusion is that people don't learn how to pray but learn how not to pray! They learn that it is more important to learn about and participate in the world. Especially in the modern age almost all knowledge is secular. Thus by ignoring our relationship with the spiritual realms we lose the capacity for prayer. If people rediscover religion their capacity for prayer might be extremely limited. Fortunately many people grow up in religious community that is truly spiritual and they never lose their capacity for prayer. However religion has often lost much of its true spiritual connection and become mostly a cultural community that people participate in that is not that different from secular community. It is always a matter of degree. Religious community can have cultural awareness that is to some degree an access to spiritual realms and to some degree only a version of secular awareness focusing on the world.

Barbara:

What about the universal creation church?

Stephen smiled:

That's also a little complicated.

The church is to some degree in communication with higher spiritual realms. But the wisdom of the church is at a relatively low level. It is only elementary school. Secular awareness is so dominant in society that learning that there is original source of universal creation seems like a huge revelation. It is just a basic understanding of any religion. What sometimes happens is that the harmful teachings of traditional religion especially their claims that they are the only way to know spiritual reality and that they are the only path to escape eternal damnation, have driven people away from religion altogether. The secular world then becomes the all in all and people are trapped in awareness devoid of much communication with higher spiritual realms. Thus the world also contains a world of suffering. And some people seek spiritual awareness to help solve for that. But what they learn is not necessarily at a high level. It might be significant and even life changing; but secular awareness and awareness of their self in the world might still be dominant. That is what seems to be characteristic of the universal creation church. The brilliance of the church is that it transcends the limitations of traditional religion. The stupidity of the church is that it ignores higher level spiritual awareness available within traditional religion. However it is very difficult to go to those higher levels if one has been during all of one's past ignorant of them. Because much false awareness accumulates that seems inherent to who we are and how we know ourself in the world. It is very difficult to unlearn what is deeply emotional.

Thus we have to suffer. That is how I understand what I have been going through and what it seems you have been going through.

Barbara:

Oh that is horrible to hear. It is almost worse to consider that there is purpose to suffering. Because the strong implication is that anything lower than high spiritual awareness will necessitate suffering. It could be endless!

-Barbara said nothing for a while. She just looked down and slowly drank some coffee. Suddenly she let out a soft groan. The waiter came over and quickly Barbara said:

Kind sir, I am in desperate need for a slice of banana cream pie and more coffee please.

-She softly laughed at herself and then looked to Stephen:

Oh my god! And that's the problem isn't it? We ignore god at our peril! For we are judged aren't we? And we suffer endless torment. Oh my god who I do not know, it is in a way all true. What religion teaches is metaphorically all true. But if we ignore the truth of religion and dismiss it as just metaphorical and thus ignore the truth, we are stupid. Yes, stupidity that justifies itself with great intelligence. But most people don't seem to have to deal with this. So it's not true for them. Ok, it is getting too confusing.

-Stephen waited a moment before responding. And Barbara was enjoying her pie. Then he spoke:

This is where returning to the basics as taught by the universal creation church is useful. Everything exists. Everything is from universal creation. But creation is dynamic. Only some are pushed into awareness closer to higher levels. Thus they are aware that there is purpose to suffering. Many others are not being pushed into such discovery. And much suffering has a different purpose than to force people to shed false awareness and develop capacity for higher level spiritual awareness. Thus religious teaching is mostly ignored until for some people crisis forces serious focus on those principles. The metaphors are no longer ignored and the reality becomes known. Fortunately that includes the reality of available intense experience of Source of universal eternal Life and Love. Usually through the revelation of awareness from Divine Being.

Barbara, a little intensely:

But which divine being?

Stephen:

Whoever is revealed to you!

After a few moments Stephen continued:

Listen, I haven't yet told you something that might be important.

It wasn't just a dream that revealed Mariatheos to me. Before that dream right here at the diner I was sitting alone at a table as usual and a man walked over to the table and left a sheet of sketch paper.. On it were just a few words, Oakport and Chapels of Our Divine Mother. Additionally there was some abstract drawing. So later I discovered by computer search that in Oakport Massachusetts there are the Chapels of Our Divine Mother. People who have gone there pray to Our Divine Mother. She is their awareness of Divine Being. And there is no religion of Our Divine Mother, no doctrine or belief system. So it's doubtful that dream would have come to me if before I wasn't reading about people's experience of Our Divine Mother.

Barbara with excitement:

We must go there! Will you go with me? I gather that you haven't been there yet? Please?

Stephen laughed a little:

Sure! No I haven't been there. I don't have a car and might have forgotten how to drive. Others in the church have always provided that for me. You have a car?

Barbara:

Yes. Oh thank you! Finally I have some hope.

Barbara spent several days reading descriptions people gave of their experience not only at the chapels, but also of their spiritual life and life of prayer to Our Divine Mother. Although strange to her she became familiar with their awareness. She was definitely envious of them. But just the thought of an attempt at prayer filled her with dread. She didn't know why. Perhaps Stephen was right and her normal sense of self was not capable of such awareness. To be dramatic perhaps it would require death of self before she could gain such capacity. So anxiety increased as she had more focus on the possibility of having a prayer life. She wouldn't have been reading about others who prayed to Our Divine Mother unless she wished to have that ability.

But after a while her anxiety level decreased and her sense of dread decreased to some degree. For her ability to observe her experience and accept whatever it was, enabled a partial development of a degree of transcendence. The intensity of her distress diminished. She gained not faith but some equanimity. She was now ready to make the trip to Oakport.

Barbara and Stephen started early on the long trip to Oakport. They stopped frequently as neither liked being on the road for too long, so the journey took twice as long. When they got to Oakport they walked around town for a while. It was an unusually beautiful and interesting town. It became apparent to Barbara that it would be intolerable to have to make the journey back to Kirkland the same day. So she insisted that they stay over. So they drove to the Atlantic Inn on the far side of Oakport and rented a room. Yes they would have to wear the same clothes the next day but not a big deal. It was late afternoon when they took a shuttle bus to downtown and walked to the chapels of Our Divine Mother. Although they had been together all day they entered different chapels.

By the time Barbara was at the chapels she had little anxiety. The trip was such a series of different experiences that she had just been focusing on the moment. She entered an interior chapel which was surprisingly dark. She sat on a simple wooden chair and looked at a large wooden sculpture standing on a low wooden table. Dramatic lighting covered the slightly abstract but elaborately carved sculpture of a glorious woman about five foot tall, but added to the two foot high table she was almost floating above Barbara who was staring captivated by her. Although not painted the dark wood glowed in the light. It did not take long for Barbara to go into trance and have a vision of Divine Being very much alive radiating power while floating in the sky. She spoke:

You are very dearly loved. You need understand nothing. You can always call on me.

I am your Mother. I am Mariatheos. My Angels are always with you. Have faith.

-the vision faded and Barbara was still looking at the glowing sculpture. She felt fear and then love. But because she was somewhat in paralysis she did not cry. She stumbled out of the room and immediately sat down on a chair in the hall. It took a while for her eyes to adjust to normal light. It took her longer to adjust to the world.

Stephen had entered a chapel enclosed by round walls with tall stained glass windows. Each portrayed a slightly abstract very colorful woman emanating light of different colors. Stephen was mesmerized by the space and felt an elevated sense of peace and calm. He sat in a simple wooden chair looking at the windows. Then he heard in his mind a woman's beautiful voice :

You are very much loved by your Mother Mariatheos; continue your contemplation and prayer.

-he continued to sit in an elevated state of joyful calm for a while.

He left the chapel and looked for Barbara. He found her sitting in the hallway looking disturbed. They went outside and sat on a bench before Stephen asked her:

Are you ok?

Barbara half smiled:

Yes and no. Never had a vision before in all of my life. So I am a little rattled and shaken up.

-they sat in silence for a while. Then with a little bit of distress Barbara spoke:

I hope it is ok with you Stephen, but I am so tired. Can we go back to the inn so I can sleep?

Stephen:

Of course.

While Barbara slept Stephen was sitting in a large space with an abundance of comfortable chairs facing the large windows. It was called the Library but evidently it was more geared for people to be in contemplation. Which was what Stephen was engaged in for a couple hours. Over the months since Stephen began to pray to Mariatheos, something was shifting for him. Previously he had realizations during contemplation and he gained a lot of insight from them. More recently however it seemed more that spirit guides were giving him spiritual understanding. Stephen was not the source of any wisdom he gained; he was just learning from a source of wisdom beyond himself. It was more evident there were vast spiritual realms between original source and the human realm.

Barbara woke up in time to join Stephen and go together to have dinner before the restaurant closed. Stephen was relieved to see her smiling. Although they didn't talk much during the meal Barbara assured him she was fine. The cafe was open late and after dinner they talked over tea.

Barbara:

I hope that you're not too tired.

Stephen:

I am fine. Although it has been a long day I am not ready to go to sleep yet. And I am curious as to your experience.

Barbara:

Unbelievable. And I mean it is hard for me to believe what happened. But it is what develops now that is important. And I don't know what will. Yes, Mariatheos spoke to me!

- Barbara stopped and cried a little before continuing:

She is so beautiful, radiant, powerful! And She loves me.

An incredible experience. But not sure what to do from here on.

Stephen:

Whatever develops each moment. Not sure there is anything specific to do.

The question that seemed to be of importance to you was about prayer.

Barbara laughing a little:

Who needs prayer if one is given a vision?

Well probably in the future I will have capacity for prayer.

Divine Mother Mariatheos is very real for me now.

After Stephen went to the room to sleep, Barbara stayed in the Library and sat in contemplation. After some minutes she began to hear in her mind an older woman's gentle voice:

Sweet daughter, you should expect frequent communication from angels and spirit guides from now on. Prayer is just an openness, there need be no effort or ritual. You are now more open than you ever could imagine. But everything in your life prepared you for this. Thus it was always your purpose. And it should be obvious your purpose is closely aligned with that of Stephen. Do not worry and it is not about marriage. Being chaste is necessary for being as open to the realms of spiritual purpose as you both are. However you are a team who will bring knowledge of Mariatheos to others. Thus the grace She gives you is not just for your benefit but also for the benefit of many others. Her angels are always with you. You are always being guided. Prayer is sometimes just asking for help. Love.

-Barbara was almost as surprised as she was about having the vision earlier. But it was confirmation something substantial had happened to her that will continue. What was just revealed to her was mostly a comfort but she must now have the burden of continual anticipation of revelation of purpose. Her life was not her own. However she had lost so much recently that she had not much in her life to hold onto. Now it was obvious that her loss of the church had purpose.

In the morning Barbara and Stephen were sitting in the cafe of the Atlantic Inn.

They were both in a subdued but cheerful state. It was clear their relationship was close but not romantic. However they had some love for each other. To some extent they had no one else. Estrangement from the universal creation church was a loss of community especially severe because they had no other.

A woman a little older than either of them entered the cafe and walked over to their table. With great cheer she asked:

Good morning! Do you mind if I join you?

-Barbara although surprised:

Please join us.

- the woman sat down and after ordering tea and a scone looked at Barbara:

Yesterday you went to the chapels of Our Divine Mother. You saw Her!

That is so wonderful and it has changed your life!

Barbara:

How the hell did you know?

Mary:

No, it is by heaven that I know. My name is Mary Coultier and I know much from Our Divine Mother.

Barbara:

Oh my, yes I know much about you. Many have written about their experience of being with you at the cafe fantastique.

Mary:

Yes, our Divine Mother has blessed me and given me certain spiritual gifts so as to serve others.

Now, you two are very important. Very few know Our Divine Mother by Her Name, Mariatheos.

Mary continued:

However you are not at all important in the world. You are not even important to others who know Our Divine Mother. You are important to the church of Mariatheos that is within the spiritual realms. And to the future church of Mariatheos in the world. Unfortunately you are without much support from other people in the world; so you must rely upon the help of spirit guides and angels. The most important aspect of your purpose is further incremental transformation. And this is totally dependent upon Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. So there might not be that much to do but much that you must become. So indeed you are children of your Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Stephen:

This is amazing that you are telling us this. Perhaps you can explain how knowledge of Mariatheos is different? I don't know why She has been revealed to me.

Mary:

Our Divine Mother is known in diverse ways.

However those words allow some distance between someone and their idea of universal and eternal Source. So although the intimacy of spiritual grace is available, in general Our Divine Mother can be somewhat distant and thus to some degree remain not known.

Mariatheos is somewhat closer to us and our knowledge more intense. This is potential awareness. Thus experiential awareness might be limited but one's purgatorial development might be more intense. Because the closer we are to Our Divine Mother the less we have of false self and false awareness of the world. But the process of incremental decrease of false awareness is unfortunately purgatorial and includes some experiential suffering.

Stephen:

Yes I am aware of that and unfortunately Barbara is also.

Barbara:

Thank you so much for your help in gaining knowledge of what is happening to us. Obviously we have no choice. This journey to Oakport has been an initiation into a realm of experience that I never knew was possible for me. Overwhelming. But I guess when we return to Kirkland we just live one day at a time?

Mary:

You will never know when you will have extraordinary experience.

Yes, much of your life might seem ordinary and you might struggle with anxiety or distress. But don't assume it about circumstance. Your circumstance will be limited because your participation in the world will be limited. The church of Mariatheos does not exist in the world. Even if it did the world will dismiss it as meaningless. A long time from now the world will change so much that the church of Mariatheos and similar spiritual communities will be recognized as a great contribution to how the world will have evolved. But that could be centuries from now. The future is not known. Spiritual truth is not about the future but about reality both in the world and beyond it. The world has great reality but people can have extensive false awareness that is ignorant of reality.

Stephen:

I have accepted that I am a servant of Mariatheos. But so far I have not known how that will manifest in the world and actually have never thought about a church of Mariatheos in the world until you just mentioned it. What do you think it will be?

Mary:

You must discover that only as it develops.

However you must not just be a servant of Mariatheos. You must continue to serve Barbara.

For it will be Barbara who will become a leader of the church of Mariatheos. The church will be matriarchal. The religion of Mariatheos is inherently matriarchal. And matriarchal community is what must evolve. So you see the evolution of spiritual community you are involved in is substantial.

Barbara:

Yes!

Stephen:

Ok, I understand the degree of humility necessary. And I admit that I am ignorant about matriarchal community. But I will learn.

Mary:

There is a vast amount to learn. However there are limits to the gain of conceptual understanding. The emotional foundation of understanding is mostly unconscious. Thus you cannot learn what you have no capacity to accept. Although you might have greater understanding than Barbara about spiritual principles, it is Barbara who has greater ability to know on a deep foundational and thus emotional level what spiritual truth is. And this is intrinsic to knowledge of Mariatheos and Our Divine Mother, women have inherently greater potential to know Her. So the evolution of matriarchal religion and matriarchal community requires that men accept the superiority of women, especially sanctified women. This is why this evolution is so much in the future. But many decades of the decay of patriarchal patterns of awareness has already been an aspect of the evolution of matriarchal awareness. So you two are in the vanguard of that evolution.

Barbara:

This is an incredible responsibility.

Mary:

You are not responsible. Angels and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos are responsible!

Never forget causality is from the unseen realms. You will be guided. Don't worry about your ignorance. It is of very limited value to gain knowledge of what other people are doing. Although the development of feminism has been crucial, mostly the secular assumptions about the world and society have not been transcended. Other women exploring matriarchal spirituality are doing great work. However discovering awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos will be unique. You have to balance humility with acceptance of your unique purpose. Anyway you will always be guided.

Stephen:

Thank you so much for all that you have taught us this morning. It has been a great privilege.

Barbara:

This has been incredible. Thank you so very much. You are an amazing woman and deeply inspirational.

Mary:

It has been a joy to talk with you!

May Mariatheos bless you both abundantly!

After Mary left their table they were both somewhat joyful and somewhat overwhelmed. They decided to take the walking path next to the inn that led up to the top of a hill. From there they could look out over Essex bay. They sat down on a stone bench and looked at sky and water before talking.

Stephen:

I guess we are in this together for a while.

Barbara:

Thank you for being so supportive while I was floundering not knowing what was happening.

However I now do have much more faith. However it seems Mariatheos wants you to continue to be supportive even when I am strong. And I have some sense that at times Her Holy Spirit is going to give me strength. It is easier for a man to be supportive when a woman is weak. It might be harder for you if I am strong.

Stephen:

This is all going to be new for me. But it is because of my faith in Mariatheos that I am willing to do what She wants me to do. Mary is Her messenger, that is clear as a blue sky. So my relationship is determined by the spiritual church of Mariatheos. This is how this new church works, women are superior.

Barbara:

Thank you for your acceptance of this new reality. Eventually others will accept it also. But the key to the growth of the church of Mariatheos is that She will require sanctified women to lead it. Most probably women who have gone through their purgatorial process of development. Thus men of the church would be serving Holy Spirit from Mariatheos as they serve the women of the new church.

Stephen:

Yes, that is good.

Barbara:

It would be best to head back and start the trip back to Kirkland.

This has been such a wonderful time in this wonderful place.

Stephen:

Yes. Yes it is.

Back in Kirkland the transformation of Barbara surprised not only her but people who had known her. She decided to waltz into the office of the universal church full of good cheer and apologize for being so horrible to everyone in the past. Then she left before any embarrassing conversation began about her position in the church. For she didn't want to work for the church. She decided to become a waitress and earn an honest income that had nothing to do with maintaining agreement with an organization and their belief system, especially one that claimed not to have a belief system.

She got work at Lucky's Diner. After a couple of weeks of training she became fairly good at the job fairly quickly. And she enjoyed it. Her observation and interaction with people taught her a lot and was to a small degree ministry to others. She communicated compassion and was well liked. She earned more than what she did at the church and saved some money. At some point in the future she would be called to do something different.

Stephen went back to contributing to the church part time. He came to accept the church as it was and was comfortable separating his more recent spiritual discoveries from the awareness of the church community and could conform his counseling and consultation to the awareness of others. This was just compassion. Since his inner conflicts had been resolved he had no conflict with the church community.

Barbara had sometimes served Paul when he came to Lucky's Diner. One afternoon she poured him a cup of coffee and smiled. Usually Paul was fairly quiet even while someone was talking to him. But at times a spirit compelled him to speak; perhaps something he barely understood. Often the one he spoke to didn't understand it either, but sometimes much later it was remembered and gave a valued insight. So both Paul and Barbara were a little surprised when Paul spoke:

I feel compelled to lend you this book. It is extremely valuable to me and have read it countless times. So please don't lose it. But keep it until you read it. It is important that you do. You might be amazed by it.

-Paul took the book from the table and handed it to her.

Barbara:

Sure I will read it and keep it safe and return it to you. This is very kind of you to lend me something of such great value to you.

-Paul felt compelled to also say:

Thank you. May Mariatheos bless you.

-Barbara almost dropped the coffee pot she was so shocked. She returned to behind the counter, placed the coffee pot on the burner, and the book in her bag. Then she stared at Paul a distance away. She silently prayed:

Oh Mother, who is he?

-A spirit said to her:

A saint of Mariatheos. He was the one who gave Stephen the message of the chapels of Our Divine Mother.

Even though it was a short book it took three days for Barbara to read it. The myth of Fredonia portrayed a near utopian community in a very small area high in the mountains of southeast Europe, their emigration to America, and the creation of a church that worshipped Mariatheos. Barbara couldn't read more than a page without getting inner visions of what was portrayed on the page. And her emotional reaction often meant she had to stop reading frequently. A mixture of joy and longing and grief. Grief over how limited society was compared to the utopian. Even grief that there was no church in the world that worshipped Mariatheos. However in prayer she was given faith that it was possible for the world to slowly evolve towards the utopian. And that a church of Mariatheos was possible in the world. But she must do the work necessary to help bring it into existence.

Barbara was able to obtain two used copies of the Myth of Fredonia after enough internet search and she had returned Paul's book to him. Barbara felt burdened by the knowledge that she must start a church of Mariatheos somehow. She knew she would be guided and she prayed frequently for the capacity necessary for her to accomplish the task.

Within her contemplation Barbara realized she had considerable fear of others judgement. That if she ever spoke about her new faith unavoidably some people would judge her, perhaps severely. Christians as well as atheists would judge her and perhaps anyone with different spiritual beliefs. So it was necessary to gain much more transcendence of the world if she was to bring knowledge of Mariatheos to the world. So it was going to be difficult.

The universal creation church was starting to lose membership. Perhaps in the 21st century as internet participation increased voluntary participation in groups decreased. Also the proliferation of alternative spirituality reduced how unique the spiritual understanding available from the universal creation church was perceived. But it was probable the mysterious generation of community cohesion was decaying for some mysterious reason. The universal creation church was only decreasing in participation in a few cities but that included Kirkland.

The universal creation church in Kirkland could no longer afford to pay Stephen a salary even though it was modest. So he stopped his work for the church and got a job as a dishwasher at Lucky's Diner. Although he was in the back and Barbara was out front, when he brought clean dishes and glasses out front and removed the bus trays full of dirty dishes, he had the sense that he was working for her. The job could have been a humiliation if he didn't frequently accept humility. Humility is not the same as humiliation and it requires some capacity for spiritual or transcendent awareness. So the job was good spiritual training. It was however one of the only jobs he was qualified for. He had no credentials as a counselor or as a consultant. His world had been the church for two decades and he hadn't had to work in the world for a long time. So it was a bit of an adjustment.

After one and a half years of working at Lucky's Diner, Barbara had increased on average her level of transcendence of the world. Persistent prayer and contemplation enabled her to have such intense awareness of love and life from Mariatheos that it was more real than her awareness of her participation in the world. Also her awareness of the inherent suffering of people in the world gave her compassion for whatever limitations that they had. And judgement of others is just a normal aspect of people's ignorance which is not a moral fault, just an inevitable limitation of being human.

She was finally ready for the job she had known she must eventually take on. So she reduced her hours working at the diner. She had saved much of her income. She met Stephen at the diner when they were both not working to talk about what to do next.

Sitting at a table in the dinner.

Stephen:

To be honest I don't think anyone wants a church of Mariatheos. I don't even think anyone wants to pray to Her. So it just doesn't seem possible.

Barbara:

Yes, it seems that way. However it still seems that is what my purpose is. So I am at a loss as to what to do.

Stephen:

Do you feel capable of giving talks that inspire people to pray to Mariatheos?

Barbara:

To be honest I don't know.

But how would I even have a group of people to give a talk to?

Stephen:

Music. If people came to hear music then you could give a short talk after. Then if a similar performance of music was given and people came back, then we would know that they at least tolerated your talks. This could just be repeated until it became clear people were beginning to worship Mariatheos. Then we would have a church.

Barbara:

Where?

Stephen:

The universal creation church is declining in membership. They might have need for a rental fee for their space when they are not gathering.

Barbara:

Would they not resist what would be in effect an alternative to their church?

Stephen:

Many Christian churches rent out a space to other church congregations. Even on Sunday at a different time.

Barbara:

Ok, it's possible. Now, what about the music? I have an idea. When I was reading about those with devotion to Our Divine Mother, I found out that two evenings a month singers and musicians with devotion to Our Divine Mother performed at the cafe fantastique in Oakport. Perhaps some of them might be willing to make the trip to Kirkland if we paid them.

I have saved some money for this purpose of financing the beginning of the church. I know you can't contribute financially. But if a church develops then at some point it should be self supporting. Depending on the costs I might be able to subsidize it for several months. Ok, it is possible but everything is uncertain. First is to find out if the universal creation church would agree. I will contact them soon. What do you think?

Stephen:

Yes it is possible. I am sure we will both be much in prayer about this.

Barbara:

Let us pray.

Oh Mother Mariatheos help us create your church. If this is the way forward give us the grace to continue. If it is not let us know. Let us ask now in prayer are we to proceed as we have discussed here at this table?

- they were both silent for a minute or two.

Then they both looked at each other and smiled.

Barbara:

It seems yes.

Stephen:

Yes.

Not only were fewer people attending the universal creation church in Kirkland, those who still attended were donating less to the church. The remaining staff were at half pay and still paying the bills was difficult. So when Barbara offered to pay 1/3 of rent and utilities for the use of the space on Mondays, the office manager quickly agreed.

Barbara wrote a request posted on the website for the informal community of Our Divine Mother asking if any singers and musicians inspired by devotion to Our Divine Mother wanted a paying gig on Mondays in Kirkland. Several responded to her.

With a little local advertising a few dozen attended the first free performance of music in Kirkland inspired by devotion to Our Divine Mother. Barbara was satisfied with the size of the audience. She actually preferred that for the first several weeks the audience would remain modest until she was more confident in giving talks. There would be two sets of performance and she would speak in between. Barbara loved the music. For Barbara did love Our Divine Mother. It was just that Barbara also knew Her as Mariatheos. She prayed intensely during the ten minute break after the first set. And then she spoke:

Good evening and thank you all for being here. I hope you enjoyed the music. My name is Barbara Tocqueville and before the second set I would like to take several minutes and tell you why I have organized this event.

Almost two years ago I traveled to Oakport Massachusetts and went into the chapels of Our Divine Mother. Before I went there I was not capable of prayer. When I was in one of the chapels the experience there revealed to me Mariatheos Our Divine Mother. And since then prayer to Mariatheos has been the most important aspect of my life. There are many people who have devotion to Our Divine Mother, but very few know Her as Mariatheos. The musicians and singers who I have invited to perform here on Monday evenings all have devotion to Our Divine Mother. So the spirit of the music is in devotion to Her. Although I ask nothing of the audience there is an invitation to consider prayer to Our Divine Mother or Mariatheos. You will not do so unless inspired. So let me thank you again for being here and now will begin the second half of the performance of music.

-after her talk Barbara stepped outside for several minutes to be in prayer again. She had to quickly seek grace from prayer to displace a surge of anxiety. Barbara felt assurance from Mariatheos that her short talk served divine purpose. As Barbara walked back in to listen to the music she looked at Stephen who was nearby and he smiled almost gleefully at her. Yes, the evening was what they had hoped for.

Each week Barbara spoke a little longer. The amount of time of performance also increased slightly. And the size of the audience increased steadily each week. But it was still not a church. However at some point Barbara started to ask for donations and explained that she did not have unlimited capacity to personally subsidize the ongoing performances. There was a donation box; and checks should be made out to the universal creation church.

Barbara brought the donations to the church office and asked them to deposit them into their account and deduct the amount from what Barbara owed them. Over months total donations were becoming a larger share of what Barbara agreed to pay the church for the use of their space. If at some point the amount of donations was larger than the agreed amount then the universal creation church should keep the donations.

Some people who came to hear the music inspired by devotion to Our Divine Mother became curious about the universal creation church and started to attend some of their church gatherings. Some were interested in the talks given by church leaders and in what members said when talking to the group. There was some music and song very different from that of the musicians who performed on Monday evenings, but it was enjoyable none the less.

The universal creation church actually began to gain members. There was a somewhat confusing blurring between the Monday evening event and the universal creation church. But it was welcome development for the church.

Barbara and Stephen were talking at a table in Lucky's Diner one afternoon about six months after the first Monday evening performance of music inspired by devotion to Our Divine Mother.

They both continued to work at the restaurant.

Stephen:

What we have prayed for has happened. And I think it has been very successful. What you have done has been marvelous.

Barbara:

Yes it has been wonderful but of course it has been a creation of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. However it still doesn't seem to be a church of Mariatheos. I don't know if my talks have inspired prayer to Mariatheos. And it still seems to be more of a performance of music than a church. All the song is about Our Divine Mother. Only I speak of Mariatheos.

What is curious is the growth of participation in the universal creation church.

Stephen:

Actually it all makes sense. Obviously Mariatheos is Our Divine Mother. If only a few people know Her as Mariatheos then that just indicates people have different spiritual awareness. But personal spiritual awareness evolves. So people who listen to the music might be inspired to pray to Our Divine Mother. Some people who listen to your talk might be inspired to pray to Mariatheos. And some people who pray to Our Divine Mother might eventually have revealed to them that She is Mariatheos.

Barbara:

Yes, that is good. Now what about the universal creation church?

Stephen:

Both you and I were immersed in the universal creation church for many years before we discovered prayer to Mariatheos. It is foundational spiritual awareness we perhaps take for granted. But others might have less of this foundational spiritual awareness. Thus even if they feel inspired by the music they might have no capacity for prayer. Secular assumptions about reality might probably be much too dominant in their personal experience and awareness. Thus the universal creation church might be very valuable to them.

Barbara:

Yes, your insight is true. It is all necessary. Perhaps this is what the church of Mariatheos is going to look like for a while. Let me pray about this for a minute.

- they were both in prayer for a while. Finally Barbara looked at Stephen smiling fully and said:

Yes, yes, yes! This is what Mariatheos has wanted!

Stephen:

Grateful we are for Her blessing!

Barbara:

Yes!

A year after the first performance of music inspired by devotion to Our Divine Mother, the universal creation church in Kirkland took total responsibility for the Monday evening music. Barbara was no longer responsible for any share of rent and utilities for the space, and the performers were directly paid by the church. Barbara no longer gave a talk at the Monday evening event. However every Tuesday evening she led a small gathering for the worship of Mariatheos. She gave a talk, but there was also music and song from the participants, perhaps a little crude, but heartfelt and expressive of their experience of faith. There was also both silent prayer and vocal group prayer. At the end they had tea and not too sweet whole grain cake partaken in a slightly ceremonial manner. And before people left they often spent time talking to each other.

Both Stephen and Barbara were hired to work part-time. The church needed their advice and consultation. And they both provided counseling to church members. Those who worshipped Mariatheos were as much church members as the larger group of church members who did not. Barbara and Stephen helped the other church leaders how to understand what was at first not understood and not totally accepted. But it was undeniable there was a renewal of the church because of what developed under Barbara's initiative.

Barbara and Stephen finally had a small church of Mariatheos, but it was part of the larger universal creation church. The evolution of the church of Mariatheos developed in ways unforseen by them, but in hindsight it seemed necessary for it to have developed that way.

Thus the secular assumption that the past causes the future is false. Spiritual insight realizes it is more that the future causes the past.

Two years from that first performance of music inspired by devotion to Our Divine Mother, the universal creation church in Kirkland had fully accepted worship of Mariatheos as an important aspect of their community. Even though most of the members did not pray to Her, a good portion of the membership did. The church also included other modalities of alternative spirituality. The church was conscious of the increasing diversity of alternative spirituality in the world and tried to be as inclusive as possible. Which was necessarily going to be limited; but as open as possible. Thus inevitably people in the church had their own unique focus. And it was the respect that they had for each other which joined the diverse individuals into community. But it was also the general principles of the universal creation church that helped people accept that their diversity was inherently within the unity of universal creation from Original Source. Even if in the particular patterns of their awareness people were very different from each other.

19 Church of our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Omaha

Barbara and Stephen were sitting at a table in Lucky's Diner in Kirkland Massachusetts.

Barbara:

It has been five years since the first performance of music inspired by devotion to Our Divine Mother was held at the universal creation church. Since then there has been a slow growth of people who worship Mariatheos at the church. Neither of us could have known back then that worship of Mariatheos would become so integrated into the universal creation church even though most people in the church do not worship Her. Somehow others appreciate the small group that knows Mariatheos even if they don't. I am grateful this is so but don't quite understand it.

Stephen:

Worship of Mariatheos infuses us with grace that we perhaps don't realize is observable by others. Grace allows us to communicate some of that grace to others. Indirectly others gain some awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. So the universal creation church benefits from the small community with devotion to Mariatheos.

Barbara:

Yes, that is good. And of course some people from the church do visit our group and eventually a few discover devotion to Mariatheos. So our group has slowly grown over the years. And now I don't think they need us for their continuation as a church within a church. There are several who can provide leadership for the church of Mariatheos.

Stephen:

Yes, that is true. But why do you mention that?

Barbara:

About 7 years ago you agreed to be supportive of my leadership for whatever attempt we would make to create a church of Mariatheos. And you have fulfilled your commitment wonderfully. As a team we have brought the opportunity for the joyous discovery of Life and Love from Mariatheos to other people. Not a large number of people but it has been deeply satisfying that we have helped others to discover Her.

Stephen:

It has been wonderful. And it has been a great privilege to be a part of this development of the church of Mariatheos here in Kirkland. Your leadership has been truly inspired.

Barbara:

Do you miss having primary leadership of the universal creation church?

Stephen laughed:

Not at all! That was so long ago I barely remember it. I gave up that level of leadership even before we came to Kirkland to start a church here. And growing dissatisfied with the universal creation church was prerequisite for my discovery of Mariatheos. Thus the growth of my awareness of Mariatheos has been primary, and my service to Mariatheos in any way I can.

Barbara:

Good. For now I am going to ask you to serve Her church in a way that might surprise you.

For several months at times in prayer Her angels have been asking me to bring the church of Mariatheos to people who do not know Her now. And I am asking for your help.

Stephen:

Yes, you have my support in however you are guided to serve Her.

Barbara:

As you might remember I joined the universal creation church when it came to Omaha.

Well I must move back to Omaha. We must bring the church of Mariatheos to Omaha. Will you go?

Stephen:

Yes.

Barbara:

Good! And I am going to ask for a couple people from our group to go with us. Thus we will have a tiny group that has devotion to Mariatheos that others can join.

It was a difficult move to Omaha for Stephen. Although he had moved to different cities in the past he had been in Kirkland for almost a decade and its familiarity had become a great comfort. He was becoming more vulnerable as he was growing older. He was more aware of his existential smallness in the world as his spiritual awareness deepened. He had no missionary zeal to spread the word of Mariatheos. He was immersed in the spiritual church which allowed his participation in the small church of Mariatheos in Kirkland. However he could only deal with the vast complex world by partly ignoring it as much as possible. The world was far from awareness of Mariatheos and it seemed impossible for the world to know Her. In his heart it seemed futile to try and grow the church of Mariatheos in the world. But he had committed himself to serve Mariatheos by service to Barbara. For the first time his resistance was significant. He said nothing but his depression was noticeable to others. Barbara asked to talk with him at the Diner.

Barbara:

I am getting the impression that you don't want to make the move to Omaha.

A few others have agreed to go with us so we could start a small church of Mariatheos in Omaha without you if necessary.

Stephen:

I am having more resistance than I expected when I agreed a month ago. It seems overwhelming to me and I am not sure if I have the ability to do it.

Barbara:

I have been given the knowledge that you are going but I am going to wait until you have the knowledge that you are going, that you have the motivation and inspiration to make the move. So just struggle in contemplation and prayer about it for a while until you have some certainty. Ok?

Stephen:

Yes, that is what I will do. Thank you.

For some reason Stephen was given an urge to look at the website for the informal community of people with devotion to Our Divine Mother. It was descriptions of people's experience of prayer to Our Divine Mother that helped him to become open to revelation of Mariatheos years ago. But since his personal conversion he had never visited the website again. So he was shocked to find out about developments in their informal network of people dispersed across America who had devotion to Our Divine Mother. A very physical planned community was being built in western Nebraska for people with devotion to Our Divine Mother. And the planning was being done in Omaha! Many people were moving to Omaha to contribute to the project. And many were moving to Omaha just be part of the spiritual enthusiasm generated by those who were working on it.

Stephen now understood moving to Omaha was not an arbitrary choice for bringing to others the opportunity for awareness of Mariatheos. It would be part of a much larger development of the community of Our Divine Mother. Since Mariatheos is Our Divine Mother it is evidently Her purpose for this extraordinary endeavor to be centered in Omaha. He gained enthusiasm for being part of it. He was moving to Omaha.

The group of five rented a house in central Omaha. It was going to be a house church for a while. Stephen couldn't help but be reminded of when he lived in a group household in eastern Oregon. After he had his epiphany on the road to Portland his household became a gathering place for people who wanted to hear him talk about universal creation. But after he and his friends moved to Portland the universal creation church became a storefront church in every city they started a church in. How the church of Mariatheos would develop in Omaha was unknown. For months the household was primarily focused on the adjustment of having moved. Fortunately everyone finding employment was not too difficult.

Barbara realized soon after the move that the group was not going to actively seek people to join them. In fact the job of the group was to learn as much as possible about the community of Our Divine Mother in Omaha. Any friendships that might develop must be of mutual respect. There must be no agenda to gain participants in a church of Mariatheos. However there was no need to hide one's devotion to Mariatheos. It might be quite a while before a church of Mariatheos develops. Except defacto the household was a church of Mariatheos. Thus the development of closer awareness of Mariatheos was an intrinsic purpose for everyone in the household.

The members of the household became a family. To some degree they were self conscious that their religion was slightly different from the larger community with devotion to Our Divine Mother. And there was great diversity of spiritual awareness within that community. Worship of Mariatheos generated a sense of belonging to the same spiritual community. Although the people of the household were different they had slightly less focus on their individual existence and slightly more focus on their existence as part of a spiritual community joined by Holy Spirit to Mariatheos Who is Mother of all Life and Love.

Over two years the household was developing a larger capacity for life and love from Mariatheos. On average people cannot tolerate high levels of spiritual life and love. People can only tolerate that which has enough similarity with who they are so as not to conflict too much with who they are. Although people have some degree of tolerance for those with different awareness, it usually generates stress and some sort of distortion of awareness, some sort of pretense.

Stephen and Barbara visited the universal creation church in Omaha. Although some of its members remembered them, most joined the church after Barbara and Stephen had left Omaha decades before. There was some curiosity but not any familiarity. It was clear to Barbara that it was not possible to recreate what developed in Kirkland. In any case within prayer she knew that was not the focus of her purpose in Omaha. She was not certain how her purpose would manifest. But she was being guided to have patience until it became clear. Often a spiritual path is mostly inward focused. But she was certain there was great purpose for being in Omaha.

Stephen was more than happy with what had developed in Omaha. Barbara was obviously head of household although her leadership was subtle and gentle. But most important she was a constant emanation of love. It was almost the task of the members of the household to develop the capacity to accept such an intensity of love. Prayer and contemplation revealed ones habitual emotional assumptions and attitudes that were from immersion in limitations of awareness. Limitations that seemed normal and inevitable. Limitations that seemed comprehensive and inescapable. Thus the members of the household had to break through their limitations of awareness within contemplation and discover increased capacity for prayer to Mariatheos, and discover more awareness of life and love from Mariatheos. Only such spiritual awareness development allowed them to experience Barbara's love. Barbara was not the source of love in their life but an important expression of love who's source is Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love!

There was a cafe in Omaha where people with devotion to Our Divine Mother gathered. The cafe fantastique deux was named after the cafe fantastique in Oakport Massachusetts. That was where many people over the years once had the privilege of being alone with Mary Coultier for several minutes at her table. People who had the experience of being with her often had some sort of personal spiritual revelation. Which either began or intensified their devotion to Our Divine Mother. But also of great importance were the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport. Thus Oakport was a center of the informal community of people with devotion to Our Divine Mother.

However the informal community of people with devotion to Our Divine Mother were geographically dispersed. People visited Oakport from increasingly larger distances as its reputation grew as a place for spiritual pilgrimage. There was a website where people described their experiences of being at the chapels or sitting at table with Mary Coultier. People throughout America and beyond began to discover Our Divine Mother. Many people had devotion to Our Divine Mother who never visited Oakport.

Sometimes Stephen went to the cafe fantastique deux and sat alone. However at times others joined him. He tended to be quiet but supportive of others who talked to him. So he was well liked. He realized that there was a large diversity of personal spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother. People with more intense awareness tended to work for the company building the new town in western Nebraska. Some people were preparing to live there. They were the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother. And the town being built was named New Oakport.

Although Stephen admired the people belonging to the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother, and appreciated their purpose of creating a community closer to the utopian, he knew their purpose was not his purpose or that of the others in his household. He knew his purpose was to contribute to the growth of the church of Mariatheos. Even if it was not yet growing beyond the household. He was certain eventually it would. Barbara had told everyone that it would wait until after the cooperative community had moved to New Oakport. For Mariatheos was Our Divine Mother. And it was Her purpose for New Oakport to be built.

Almost everyone in the informal community of Our Divine Mother was excited that the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother was finally moving into New Oakport. But many more people with devotion to Our Divine Mother stayed in Omaha and did not belong to the cooperative. After several months a good number of them were experiencing a degree of depression. The project of building New Oakport and the anticipation of its completion contributed to some sense of excitement for the larger informal community of Our Divine Mother.

Many people who did not belong to the cooperative worked for the New Oakport corporation. Some worked at the large office in Omaha where all the design work and planning were done. Some traveled to western Nebraska and worked at the building site. So when the project was complete many had to look for new employment that usually didn't pay as well.

Even for those without any participation at all, the project generated a sense of purpose for many people in Omaha who had devotion to Our Divine Mother. After the completion of New Oakport many of them experienced some degree of feeling lost. The people who belonged to the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother were undoubtedly at a high level of spiritual awareness. The grace they were in was also communicated to others. When the cooperative left Omaha for New Oakport, they left a void that many others to some degree suffered from.

Barbara's household slowly gained visitors over the years. They were friends of people in the household who were invited to dinner. Mostly the household shared meals together and increasingly guests participated. It was not unusual for ten people to be having dinner at Barbara's household.

It was because of the dinners at Barbara's house that a network of friends developed centered on the household of those who worshipped Mariatheos. The members of the household were open about their spirituality but did not try and convince anyone else to adopt prayer to Mariatheos. It would not be a friendship if someone tried to do that. But naturally friends have to have much in common. And often that is not obvious but a degree of shared experience or awareness. Most of the friends did have devotion to Our Divine Mother. And they accepted that Mariatheos was the name of Our Divine Mother for their friends who lived in the household. But they had no inspiration to adopt that spiritual understanding as their own. However everyone who knew her could not help but sense that Barbara emanated an unusual intensity of grace.

The members of the household had no children. Their purpose in life was to serve the church of Mariatheos. And their life previous to discovery of Mariatheos was now understood as unconsciously devoted to that purpose. Especially the decision not to have children no matter what their reasons were at the time, even if it was having never met the right person to start a family with. Obviously at some point the church of Mariatheos would have people with children. But not in the very beginning. Not for its leadership.

The household had saved a good portion of its members' income for the purpose of funding the church. 6 months after the cooperative community moved into New Oakport the household rented a vacant retail space in Omaha and started the church.

The church was called the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

It was to be as focused on Our Divine Mother as possible without denying Her name Mariatheos. It wanted to be a welcome church for those who had devotion to Our Divine Mother. Group prayers were to Our Divine Mother. In effect it was optional to have focus on Mariatheos.

The rows of chairs were arranged in almost a circle. The large space in the center is where any performance took place. But often the participants got out of their chairs and joined in ritual movement and song in gratitude to Our Divine Mother. If however people did not at that moment experience much sympathy with the group expression, they could remain seated. Because experiential grace enters and leaves a person's awareness without their choice.

From a talk at the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Omaha by Barbara Tocqueville:

Thank you all for being here. Everyone of you contributes to this church community. It doesn't matter if your participation is relatively active or passive, you are inherently part of this community by your presence. It doesn't even matter if you have severe doubts or even judgement about what we do here. Conversely it doesn't matter much to the community if you have doubts or judgement. We are just a community with its own purpose and human limitations that can not be all things to all people. But by being here you probably have some commonality with us. Which is some spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother, even for some of you who are just exploring the development of awareness of Her. For awareness of Our Divine Mother is really awareness from Our Divine Mother. The purpose of our church is to develop capacity for such grace.

Barbara:

Our capacity for awareness is limited. Thus if our awareness is full of stuff within lower levels than the level of original source we will not have room for much awareness from original source. Deity is so close to original source so as to be the same as original source. So it is necessary to accept the paradox that for us Our Divine Mother is original source but for others She is not. For most people in America Jesus Christ is original source or Jehovah or Yahweh or the Trinity is Original Source. If we accept that there is a diversity of Deity but most people focus on only One, then we can accept that for most people their worship of Deity makes all other Deity seem false. Thus unfortunately there is the tendency to judge others who worship differently. So we have to suffer others' judgment. Fortunately in America there is enough acceptance of religious pluralism that we don't have to fear persecution.

Barbara:

Most people in our church have devotion to Our Divine Mother. However a few of us know Our Divine Mother as Mariatheos. This probably seems strange to most of you and you might wonder why is our name the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos? It is not necessary to know Our Divine Mother as Mariatheos but it is necessary for there to be the possibility for knowing Her as Mariatheos. It is worship of Mariatheos that has inspired several of us to start this church. There is an intensity of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos available to some people. But only if Mariatheos is revealed to someone. It is not a choice. So most of us are inspired by Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. And that is Who we celebrate here at this church.

Although most of the people who participated in the church at the beginning were friends of people in Barbara's household, eventually the church grew in membership so that it was necessary to increase the number of times each week for gatherings of the church. And eventually other churches of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos formed in other cities and towns. Although Barbara had a special spiritual gift other women developed the ability to lead churches and to give talks. Barbara did not give the talk at every church gathering in Omaha. An increasing number of people had revealed to them Mariatheos Our Divine Mother. And usually the leadership of the churches were blessed with spiritual awareness from Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love.

20 Our Divine Mother Maria

Dalia was a student at NYU. She loved the village but wasn't doing good at her course work. She found New York fascinating but found college boring. In May it would be unavoidable that she would flunk out. She found a good paying waitress job and a room in a shared apartment. One year's student debt would be a burden for years, but she had no choice.

6 months after she dropped out Dalia was starting to get paranoid. The disappointment of her parents was a guilt that made her avoid contact with them which only increased her mothers sadness which increased Dalia's guilt which forced even more estrangement. Dalia felt herself alone in New York. Young men only wanted one thing from her and realizing that generated a simmering rage. Her emotional burden did not allow her to have much empathy for anyone. Her roommate she treated courteously but similar to how she treated her customers, with just a bit coldness that prevented any assumption of emotional intimacy.

Dalia felt less anxiety after accepting that she just didn't like people, didn't trust them, or even just didn't know how to relate to them. She felt grief about her estrangement from her mother. But there was no solution. Dalia concluded that young adulthood was a perilous time. Some young people ended up in prison or homeless. Others plowed their way through college and eventually became a success. Some young women suffered being beaten by their lover. Some found a good man who made them happy for the rest of their life. Some young men were lonely and bitter for years. Some were always in relationship. The game of life was inherently risky. She found a way that reduced the risk; but she was angry about how unfair the game was to so many people. There was something fundamentally wrong about life in the world. And this realization allowed her to be open to what was beyond the world.

When Dalia wasn't working she was often walking. New York was a wonderful place to be anonymous. There was much to look at while aimlessly wandering. Her dissatisfaction with the world made it difficult to sit still. Unlike many people, she did not take her dissatisfaction with the world as motivation to engage in a political world view. She saw through that as false. Both conservatives and progressives distorted and simplified the world to fit into their ideology. Neither their understanding or their agenda seemed to have much to do with reality. They weren't that different from those who were obsessed with video games or watched their favorite movies multiple times. Even feminism didn't really solve for the real problems women had with men. There is no policy agenda that would change what too many men wanted from women. Nothing that would change some men's violence towards women. Something was wrong on a very deep level.

Although Dalia wasn't religious, from time to time she would enter a Catholic church that was open but not holding worship. Usually she was alone and sat in contemplation, not of anything but just an openness to the mystery of it all. Because she knew that she didn't know but was skeptical of those who claimed to know anything. Her mistrust of people was not just on a personal level. Somehow society was failing too many people for her to trust society or any of its institutions. She did not blame herself for failing in college. Her boredom indicated something was wrong with academia. To be crude it seemed to her there was something wrong with everything in society. She didn't know what it was.

So she was open to the idea of transcendent awareness. But she wasn't going to trust the church to teach her. However she would use the sacred space of a church for her own contemplation.

Contemplation was giving Dalia some confidence in her intuition. Also she was developing faith. Not in the doctrine of the Catholic church but in the unknown spiritual reality both transcendent and within all life in the world. This is what sitting the sacred space of a Catholic church revealed to her.

Cafe Reggio on MacDougall Street was very popular. But there were times it was not too crowded and she could spend an hour and write. Because of how much time she had spent in contemplation she had much capacity for inspiration from realms revealed to her by her writing.

Eventually while in contemplation at a church, Dalia began to hear in her mind a voice:

Greetings Dalia,

You are beginning to hear angels of Maria your Divine Mother!

We will teach you as much as you have capacity to know. It would be good for you to focus on listening to our voice when you are writing at the cafe. Your Divine Mother has much eternal love for you!

-Dalia continued to sit as she was silently crying. She felt a mother's love after being without it for too long.

From a notebook of Dalia:

Beloved Dalia,

You are loved by your Divine Mother because your life comes from Her!

Our Divine Mother is Source of All Life! Mother of All Life!

Experience of Life is Love!

Our Divine Mother can be known by Her name Maria!

Do not worry about the theology of the established churches; the established churches are in decline. Society has much in decline, that is slowly decreasing in authority. We are in an age of transition and old ways of knowing are no longer true. However new ways of knowing are most often obscure. Much is being discovered and rediscovered. You are part of this evolutionary development.

From a notebook of Dalia:

You are part of the evolution of new awareness in society which eventually enables new patterns of community in society. Previous to your development of the ability to channel angelic wisdom, you instinctively rejected much of the common patterns of awareness and participation of people in society. You were on spiritual search that brought you to what you are learning now. Eventually you will be able to teach and guide others!

From a notebook of Dalia:

All suffering is from lack of experiential love! People desperately seek love but usually continue to suffer. Even if they gain what seems to be love it can dissipate, sometimes for no reason and sometimes for a reason that seems obvious but is often false. It is because human love is often false that it unavoidably dissipates. So all the drama, complaining, explaining, about the loss of love is false because the love itself is false! But the terror of loneliness can not be accepted and desperation motivates acceptance of the illusion.

Now, especially horrible is the desperation that drives lust. The desire for sex is not a natural instinct but a compulsion that is common when love is absent. But people can not give each other the love that is absent. The love that people need is what is intrinsic to who they are. It is all the relationships in a persons life, especially as a child, that communicate, that give, the person their foundational love. The myth of romantic love is that another can give you that love as a young adult or as an adult, or that you can give such love to another. Although the illusion can be convincing for a while, usually it disintegrates, and sometimes that disintegration generates severe distress.

From a notebook of Dalia:

There is only one source of love that can give people the foundational love that they need.

Maria Mother of All Life! Life is Love!

But people must learn to become open to Her Love!

That means unlearning all the false awareness, assumptions, attitudes that they have.

This is a process of becoming empty. It involves contemplation.

Then if capacity develops, prayer to

Our Divine Mother Maria will fill the void people have,

with Her Divine Love!

Dalia began to be filled with Love from Her Divine Mother Maria.

She no longer needed to avoid her own human mother, and after apologizing to her called her on a regular basis. Although Dalia was relatively happy, she still tended to avoid relating to people. At times she could minister to someone in conversation by listening and showing compassion. But she resisted others dependency on her, so she still remained a bit distant. She knew people's problems were deep seated, and she really couldn't help them. After a while it became apparent only something like a church of Our Divine Mother Maria could help people. But that seemed impossible.

From a notebook of Dalia:

You have grown much and developed much over the past year.

You are beginning to become ready to start your ministry to others,

to bring knowledge of Our Divine Mother Maria to others. A church is not yet possible. A church would be a community of people with mature spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Maria and that does not yet exist. So what you must do is somehow nurture such a group of people into existence. This will happen gradually. Probably starting with a few friends. So you will be guided in choosing a few friends. If you give attention to someone they will become your friend. You know that already. You have just avoided such a commitment. But if you know you will be guided in choosing the right people and if you have faith that they will not only discover Our Divine Mother Maria but they will eventually minister to others, you will know that all of this has great purpose!

Gregory was sitting at a small table in cafe Reggio staring at one of the large old European paintings hung high on the far wall. It was difficult to discern what was being portrayed except it was obviously a landscape. Suddenly a beautiful woman sat down in front of him while saying, "hope you don't mind if I join you. It is getting a little crowded in here." He said nothing but nodded. After she ordered she said, " hello, my name is Dalia. I come here quite a lot but I try not to take up a table if it's getting too crowded. But I know you wouldn't mind my joining you. You do look familiar. Perhaps you have been here before? " Gregory: "yes, often. I love it and there is no other cafe in New York that even comes close. But I am sure in Europe quite a few might look like this." Dalia drank her coffee and ate a little bit of her pastry before she said, " listen. I wouldn't have joined you if I didn't have the intuition we could be friends. To be clear I hate romantic relationships or anything of that nature. I am gifted with intuition and to be honest seeking those who might be open to spiritual purpose that was given to me. Don't worry and I will respect your awareness whatever it is and however it develops but you should know that is my purpose!" Gregory was smiling and enjoying being with Dalia. But he hesitated from a little bit of fear. He replied, " I have no choice! Your beauty and charisma have captivated me! Hopefully my spiritual development will be great enough to prevent me from the possibility of despair from falling in love with you! However I agree romantic love is illusory and generates nothing but suffering. I am a little surprised that your spiritual guides would not limit you to women for fulfilling your purpose." Dalia was pleasantly surprised at his spiritual maturity. She had been a little doubtful but her guides were unambiguous and told her to choose him. She asked, "by the way, what's your name?" " Gregory ". Dalia: " yes my spiritual guides obviously know who you are. You're insightful enough to know that I am indeed guided. Of myself, I know very little."

Because Gregory had renounced the pursuit of romantic love or sexual intimacy, women felt safe around him and he had several women friends. Like Dalia he had dropped out of NYU but he remained friends with students who stayed and eventually graduated. In effect Dalia joined his extensive friendship network and was introduced to many women she would otherwise not have met. And a few of them became her friends, after she was guided to choose them and focus her attention on them.

There was a cafe on the corner of Bleeker and MacDougall that was larger and less crowded than Cafe Reggio. Dalia arranged for her chosen group to meet there a few times a week. The group was of seven people but not everyone was able to attend every time. A good friend of Gregory was the only other man in the group.

At the cafe Dalia did almost nothing except listening to members of the group. When asked a question usually she said as little as possible. She did little to moderate the discussion of the others. But since everyone felt a little self conscious, rarely did people talk too much. Often people felt safe enough to share sometimes troubling personal history. Often people talked about their personal experience even if distressful. This unburdening generated gratitude for for each other. Because those listening experienced to some degree what the person speaking was feeling, one persons catharsis was also experienced by the others!

Dalia was continually in prayer. She held in contemplation any distress experienced from listening to the others which allowed the distress to dissipate. So sometimes she didn't even comprehend the details of what was being said. But it didn't matter to the others because her attention was almost always focused on them. Dalia's experience of the communication of the people in the group had a mysterious influence on the others. In a different situation the intensity of what some people communicated would have sometimes been intolerable. Someone's empathy might evoke so much distress that if they did not get up and leave, they probably would never come back. The memory of the distress would have blocked their participation in the group even if they felt fondly of the others. One noticeable effect Dalia had on the group dynamic was the permission to sit in silence. Others could enter their own capacity for contemplation. Especially if something was said that was a little heavy, people would look inward for some moments. The communication of people in the group was spontaneous. There was no agenda and yet there was a feeling of purpose. In fact there was an unknown spiritual presence that guided everyone. Dalia knew that, but sometimes others did also.

Dalia did not do any spiritual teaching. Everyone in the small group knew that she prayed to Our Divine Mother Maria. However she seldom talked about that. Although the others had some spiritual awareness mostly they did not pray. Rather in different ways they sensed the spiritual reality joined with the world. Some of them grew up in less urban areas and developed an appreciation of nature. Sometimes their profound experience while in nature could not be described any other way but spiritual! They were convinced of spiritual reality but did not recognize it in traditional religion. A few were interested in so called pagan spiritual writing and although not committed to any rituals appreciated what they read. And reading poetry and other spiritual writings is how they maintained their spiritual awareness while living in New York. But it did not involve prayer to any god, pagan or other.

A few of the women in the group had a strong awareness of the Goddess. But mostly that awareness was what they recognized within their own being. The Goddess was the highest experience of who they were. Much reading and viewing videos inspired such elevated spiritual awareness. Some of them had to grapple with their shadow side which tended to become more conscious as they developed awareness of the inner goddess. Fortunately there was abundant writing and video that helped them with shadow work. But they did not pray to the Goddess beyond them.

It was clear to Dalia that the purpose of the group was to discover Our Divine Mother Maria. How that would develop she did not know. It was also clear that the Angels and Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Maria were responsible for the group. Dalia was just doing what it was necessary for a person in the world to do to facilitate what the spiritual realm was responsible for. So Dalia couldn't know much of how the people in their group would develop.

Mostly all she could do is listen.

Elizabeth was a member of Dalia's group. After an evening at the cafe when she got home she was feeling unusually down. The heaviness of what some people shared stayed with her. She was feeling a general pessimism about people's lives. At that moment the world looked bleak; and all of the problems of the world reported by journalism flooded her awareness. She sat on her couch despondent. In another moment the panic of despair overwhelmed her, and instinctively she cried out loud, "God help me! Help me please." and she started to cry.

After a couple minutes she grew quiet and her mind quieted. And then she had an unusual thought that didn't quite seem to be her own thought: "you know you could pray."

Elizabeth was stunned. An invitation to prayer within her own mind. After all the emotion she had gone through that evening, she felt exhausted and she could not maintain her previous habitual skepticism about a transcendent god who could hear individuals in prayer. However Dalia claimed that prayer to Our Divine Mother Maria was possible. Dalia was kind enough not to talk about it much to people who did not think it was possible. Heretofore Elizabeth just accepted that to her prayer was not possible and just accepted that she couldn't understand how it could be possible for Dalia. It was just not something that she had needed to think about, but now it was.

At the next meeting of the group at the cafe, after Elizabeth described her experience from a few evenings before, she said, "so my question is, what is prayer? The question of prayer has stayed with me but I don't know what to do about it. Prayer still seems bizarre but although the sense of crisis I experienced dissipated, I am afraid something like that will return. And prayer was clearly offered to me as a possible solution. So I am in confusion and decided to offer up the question to my friends. Because, and don't take offense, I feel being in this group precipitated the crisis that I had, and I am afraid it could happen again. It gets very heavy around this table. We have all valued sharing with each other some very deep emotional experience, but perhaps the weight of it might becoming too heavy for us to bear. I might have been the first one to break, but you might be closer to the edge than you assume."

No one else spoke for a few moments. Some of them looked at Dalia but her face betrayed nothing. Finally Gregory spoke, " ok, it is time for us to start the next phase of our journey. Because traditional community is archaic we have all been forced to be self sufficient. But the individual is relatively helpless. Even the forces of psyche are too strong for an individual to bear. People need two things to deal with reality, community and spiritual help from beyond their own minds. The life of individuals in society is more precarious than it might seem, especially if work is successful and social life is enjoyable. Until crisis reveals our helplessness."

Elizabeth, "yes, crisis seems likely to return. I am aware of being helpless. That's why I am turning to the group. I am not sure we are a community or not. Gregory, have you experienced crisis? What about prayer?"

Gregory, "yes. As a teenager I was so despondent about my life that I wanted it to end. One day I climbed to the top a mountain, I used to do a lot of hiking, looked up at the sky and said -god if you are out there, please help me! My mind quieted as I looked at the beautiful clouds in the bright blue sky. When I got home I prayed: God please help me discover God. So I started to read. Obviously there is a lot to read but I wasn't limited to Christianity. However from time to time I would go to a Catholic church on a Sunday. Not only were the churches beautiful but I could feel anonymous. I wasn't going join a church or believe their doctrine. But I was going to pray to Jesus as my personal Deity communicating universal god."

Finally Dalia spoke, "yes we are about to enter the next phase of our discovery. Yes, we will become a community and know spiritual reality beyond us. How both happen is by discovering a common way of prayer. If you know the other is in prayer to the same god then it is very real that god is beyond your individual awareness. If we pray to the same god we can trust each other and share in the same foundational awareness."

During the next few moments everyone's personal experience was unusual. Sensation that was not quite emotional, their sense of reality subtly altered. Some were aware of their breathing or of a decrease in tension; for some a subtle exhilaration.

Suddenly Elizabeth exclaimed, "Our Divine Mother Maria! I love you! Oh.."

Then Elizabeth pushed her cup and plate towards the center of the table, folded her arms on the table and rested her head on her arms as she softly sobbed while muttering Ave Maria over and over again.

The others at the table had such rapport with each other that somehow they all felt to various degree what Elizabeth felt. Love from Our Divine Mother Maria was experienced. Some looked upwards and raised a hand in the air in rapture. Some folded their hands and bowed their heads. Some also began to softly chant Ave Maria over and over. Gregory easily recognized Maria as Mother and creator of her son Jesus. This wonderful revelation filled a void he wasn't aware of before. And in a moment he had an intuition as to the limitations of Christianity for 2000 years. Patriarchal religion was joined with patriarchal society. Neither could satisfy the deepest needs of people. But the next thought was a shock, does that mean a matriarchal religion would be joined with a Matriarchal society? There was much to learn about this question but it could be ignored for a while. Right now the miracle of revelation of Love from their Divine Mother Maria was saturating a small group sitting at a table in a cafe, and he just wanted to experience it.

The group continued to meet at the cafe but they were careful not to be as outwardly emotional. They all felt some frustration with the situation. The cafe could not be a place for group worship and prayer. Plus the love they felt for each other was intense. Although chaste their love was much higher than any romantic love any of them had experienced. Almost immediately all of them renounced that focus and some experienced intense regret for past participation in sexual intimacy no matter how justified at the time by romantic love which was now understood as totally delusional. Although they welcomed this new level of love, there was now frustration from living in the world that previously was not much experienced. All of them quickly agreed that they needed to leave New York, and that they wanted to form a group household somewhere outside of the city. So further meetings were focused on attaining that goal.

All in the group moved to Northampton Massachusetts.

Dalia had been given guidance as to where they would move but did not disclose it until someone else in the group had suggested the town. Lauren had a good friend from high school who went to Smith college in Northampton and Lauren had visited her several times there. Lauren liked the town and knew it was a small center of alternative spirituality. She was recently having dreams taking place in the town and thought it might be spiritual guidance. When in prayer she felt confirmation that is where they should move to. A few friends in the group visited the next weekend. Indeed they felt a strong sense that their future home would be in Northampton. The rest of the group visited and there was consensus. The two members of the group with the highest incomes bought a large house there. It was only a half mile from the center. They knew that their future household would have a good number of visitors.

Everyone found work similar to what they had been doing in New York. On average their incomes were less but their expenses were lower. More time was spent at home. Cooking became an elaborate group endeavor. Eating together was often a celebration. Cleaning became reverential service to their household. Indeed their love for each other was mostly fulfilled by living together. And they did worship and pray together in the formal living room of their grand older house. The unsettled questions were if or when or how they should invite others to join them.

Fortunately Northampton had a few cafes where members of the household would sometimes go as an alternative to being at home. And at the cafes they met people. After a while some new friendships formed. And it was only someone's good friend who was sometimes invited to dinner at the house. Eventually that person became a friend of the household. Although there was never any attempt at conversion, it was no secret that members of the household worshipped Our Divine Mother Maria.

Several of the friends of the household engaged in some sort of meditation. During meditation one of them was surprised by a vision of a woman glowing with light emanating from her, after a moment she appeared to say, "you can know me as your Divine Mother, Maria. You have my love!" then the vision vanished. David stayed in meditation for a while. He actually avoided thinking about it. He was afraid of how his life would change if he accepted Divine Mother Maria. Although he was friends with those in the household who worshipped Our Divine Mother Maria, and he valued their friendship, he maintained a degree of judgement about their religious practice. He actually judged all religion as foolish. Relatively simple people need religion because they are not sophisticated enough to have a philosophical understanding of reality. Buddhism was a valuable philosophical understanding of the mind but in Asia folk religion became part of Buddhism. Most of the people he knew who were inspired by Buddhism didn't believe any of the supernatural stuff, not even reincarnation. It was just a valuable tool for the reduction of suffering. So he couldn't help but feel superior to people who had any kind of religion. But if they were good people he could be their friend, and he tried not to voice any judgement.

Unfortunately for David one aspect of meditation is the observation and dismissal of thought. Potentially that was all thought, not just those which were obviously useless or meaningless. Potentially that included all of one's philosophical understanding of reality. After the huge complex web of conceptual understanding starts to unravel, it's unraveling might continue until some foundational understandings start to become observed and awareness separate from those thoughts and understanding is experienced. Emptiness of entrenched understanding becomes possible. David was familiar with emptiness, so when his formerly habitual understanding of reality began to incrementally dissipate, he maintained his meditation practice and began to accept the process.

David sometimes walked the bike trail from Northampton to Florence (about 2 miles). Off of the trail was a short path that included a boardwalk into the swamp. At the end of the boardwalk sometimes he would just stand and look. One afternoon the weight of what he was avoiding pushed him down and he sat on the boardwalk, the swamp a large and almost menacing presence, and he softly muttered, " oh Mother, please help me understand what has always seemed impossible. My friends who know you have much love of life that they say is from you. I have always doubted that, but perhaps I have been wrong. Forgive me that my doubt persists." David got up and slowly walked back to the trail and then continued to Florence.

In the center of Florence was the Florence Diner. David loved it because it was old-fashioned and served good food neither fancy or expensive. When he walked in he saw Gregory sitting alone at a booth. David joined him and said, " I hope you don't mind but I really need to talk to someone like you." After Gregory smiled and nodded, David continued, "I am struggling with accepting faith in Divine Mother, Maria. I had a vision of Her while in meditation a few weeks ago, but mostly I avoided thinking about it. My resistance to acceptance of Her has been decreasing yet I still cannot quite believe. It makes no sense to me."

Gregory, "it takes humility to accept the not much known spiritual realm is both beyond us and superior to us. It would require you to realize your vast ignorance is much greater than whatever you know. Then you can keep what is pragmatic to know without the false assumption that that you can understand causal reality. It is not your fault that you have thought so. Whatever you have learned is from a vast realm of secular knowledge that has grown since the end of the mideaval era and the beginning of the modern era many historians arbitrarily assigned as starting in 1500. So 500 years of growth of philosophical and scientific knowledge obviously has produced amazing technology and the success of societies that most adopted secular knowledge. Yet there has been a cost to all of this. And the problems are starting to outweigh the benefits. And it is clear that science and technology can not help. So to recover awareness that is not from secular knowledge and philosophy is going to seem childish. It will reveal our ignorance."

David, "thank you. That makes sense. It is easier to accept my ignorance if I can understand it, however It is frightening. I really never expected to adopt your religious awareness. And I guess I can admit to you now I did feel superior in my secular sophistication. I thought meditation was the only kind of spiritual practice necessary and it did not require any religious belief. Ironically in the past few weeks during meditation a little of my long held assumptions about reality began to enter the space of observation and become empty. So I have become less certain about reality and a little more willing to accept Her. Listen, I don't want to be presumptuous but do you think it possible for me to join you when your household meets for worship? Maybe that experience would make it easier to accept Her. Would help reveal the reality of Our Divine Mother Maria."

Gregory smiled, "yes, that might help. I am sure the others will be fine with that."

Dalia saw David joining the household gathering for worship as an indicator that others should be invited to join them. She remembered that after a year of the group meeting at the cafe, the others all experienced conversion at the same time. It might not be exactly the same with the friends of the household, but after two years since moving to Northampton, the time might have arrived for the growth of their small community of those who worship Our Divine Mother Maria. Indeed in prayer she was assured this was so. So she informed the household that it was time to invite their friends to their gatherings for worship. Just a simple invitation. The other must be motivated by their spirit guides to do so if and when they were ready.

Barbara was a member of the household. She had a friend who she invited to dinner at the house about once a month and who she talked to at a cafe in town about twice a week. After she had told Linda that the household had invited all who had visited the house to their gatherings for worship at noon on Sundays at the house, Linda started to ask about their religion. One evening at the cafe:

Linda: "Barbara you know that I value our friendship. You are an unusually insightful person. You have been perhaps too careful to avoid talking about your beliefs. So please forgive any skepticism that is communicated if I ask you some questions. Who is Our Divine Mother Maria?"

Barbara: "Oh I wish that was an easy question to answer! To be simple She is Who appears to you in prayer if you have your attention on Her. So it is very personal who She is. However there is a mystery to our awareness of Her that is common to all of us in the small group of us who gather for worship of Her. We have as little theology about Our Divine Mother Maria as possible. We agree on a few understandings. Our Divine Mother Maria is universal Source of All Life and eternal Source of exalted Love. This is our common experience. Obviously none of us experience Her love all of the time. It is important to understand a paradox, Our Divine Mother Maria is eternal and universal but others do not know Her as such. They have other ways to know eternal and universal Source of Life. This paradox becomes easier to know and accept after a while."

Linda: "Would I need to have a prayer life to Our Divine Mother Maria before visiting your gathering of Worship? Would I have to accept all the group prayers as true for me?"

Barbara: "Not at all. You could remain silent and just listen. To be honest we have no idea what will happen. We are a very close group that has shared an unique spiritual awareness for over two years. As others join us our awareness will evolve because our awareness is not just focused on Our Divine Mother Maria but inherently our awareness is much about our existence as a group, as a small community. There is a joining of our worship of Our Divine Mother Maria and our gratitude for our community of worship. So perhaps the best answer to, who is Our Divine Mother Maria, is the experience you have within her community of worship. The mystery of who She is should probably be more important than any understanding."

Linda: "That is good. If it is a mystery then it is a journey of discovery. Ok, yes, I would like to join you next Sunday. Thank you for the invitation."

The new participants at the worship gathering in the living room altered several aspects of the gathering. Bulky furniture was removed and comfortable yet functional stackable chairs were purchased. On Sunday chairs were moved from surrounding the dining table to the sides of the room. The dining table held trays of sandwiches and muffins and pitchers of ice water and ice tea as well as a large urn of coffee. After worship people ate informally both in the dining and living rooms. Conversation lasted about one or two hours.

The members of the household were unavoidably elders and counseled the recent members of the gathering. Fortunately it didn't take long for almost everyone to have the same level of enthusiasm and joy from their worship of Our Divine Mother Maria. New songs of worship were contributed and some poetry was written and shared.

The community of Our Divine Mother Maria had grown to 25 in half a year after the invitation was extended to friends of the household. And it stayed at that number for another year. No new invitations were given during that time. The house could not comfortably hold more people and the elders wanted the community to coalesce, to integrate the diversity of personal spiritual awareness into a community of spiritual awareness. The elders were becoming able to become aware of what has great reality but is not directly observable. One indicator was the intensity of experience during the worship was slowly increasing. The spiritual ecstasy was beyond anything anyone could have imagined before their conversion. And their chaste love for each other had also been increasing. There was a growing pressure to expand the community of worship of Our Divine Mother Maria. How to do that took another half year of prayer, contemplation, and discussion.

Zoe Theoskepasti came into a large inheritance when her father died who had majority ownership of the Theosk corporation which had investments in shipping, hotels, airlines, and ports. Over several years he sold off his equity to several private equity firms. He didn't want his estate to be too complex for his heirs. It was almost entirely converted into Treasury bonds. Zoe mourned her father who outlived her mother by several years. Although grateful she had no idea how to use such a large inheritance. She had just retired and was comfortable in her modest life in Northampton. She had little desire to significantly increase her standard of living and she knew that doing so could alter the delicate balance of comfortable mutual appreciation she had with her friends. So she said little about an inheritance except she was going to let it sit for a long time.

One late afternoon an hour after everyone left the Sunday gathering Zoe came back to the house to meet with the elders. Sitting in the living room on some of the chairs not yet put away Zoe talked to the elders about her idea, "Since the new members of our community are now mature members and there has been some sentiment to expand our community, I have an audacious idea for a larger expansion than probably any of you have contemplated. Three years ago my father died and left me a very generous inheritance which he could afford to do so because he was a very wealthy man. But as an adult I have mostly earned my own way and never asked for anything. I think my father respected that and was reluctant to detract from my self respect. My mother hinted to me many years ago that he wanted to be more generous to me but didn't want to do anything that might be experienced as a humiliation or evoke resentment. And actually that would be true. In any case I have a large amount of money that I do not want to spend on myself. So this is my proposal, as you may know several years ago the Catholic churches of Northampton were consolidated. St Mary of the Assumption Church is for sale. That is the building including the former rectory and the land are for sale for 3 million dollars. I can afford that! I would love for this community to own it! Yes we are only 25 but we might grow faster than we assume. It would be a commitment for decades of growth. What do you think?"

Everyone was stunned and it seemed preposterous. But because Zoe wanted to do it, amazingly it was possible. So Dalia said what many a religious person might say in any dilemma, " ok, let us pray together. Oh Mother Maria we come to you for your counsel. Let us empty our minds so we can hear your guidance." They all mostly silently prayed for the next 20 minutes. Some muttering and subdued expressions of joy emanated from those in the group. Finally Dalia asked, " ok, what did each of you get?"

"Yes", " Yes!", " definitely", "maybe", "yes", " it would be good", and Dalia added, "it will happen".

After Zoe left the household Dalia went up to her room for further prayer. She went into trance and saw Mother Maria smiling fully as streams of shimmering light emanated from Her. She spoke, " Dalia my beloved, as much as has happened during the past years, much more will happen in the future. It is good that your communion with Heaven is increasing for more from Heaven must pass through you for your community to grow. For it will grow in complexity and from your own self you can not know much. Only Heaven knows everyone in the community and as the community grows in size and complexity only Heaven can know and nurture it. As its leader you must channel more of Heaven than others, you must channel more of my Love than others, and you must channel more wisdom from my Holy Spirit. You know how to do that, by becoming more empty of your self than others!

Now a lot is going to change. One change is a slightly different name for your Divine Mother, the world must know me by my name Mariatheos! Mother Maria is fine in the intimacy and informality of the home. For the public it must be clear your Divine Mother is God! A new revelation of who Divine Mother is, not the way the traditional church has known me. You know you have my love and you are continually guided. Share this new name with the others. My blessings are on you and your community." Slowly Dalia came out of trance. She felt her life as not her own. She was continually surrendering to Life and Love eternal and universal from her Divine Mother Mariatheos.

For the gathering of worship to grow beyond the house the community must accept some level of organization. An organization had to be created that could provide the opportunity to worship as a larger group in a larger space. This would have to develop even if it was a modest space. It was even more necessary if such a huge space was purchased. Because Zoe was giving the organization such a large amount of finances, it didn't really matter that the church community was so small.

After renovations that were mostly focused on the lower level of the church, worship gatherings were held Sundays at noon and were open to the public. In effect the 25 members of the church were giving a performance even if they were mostly not aware of that. Also open to the public was the informal lunch and fellowship held on the lower level after the worship. By necessity most of the members did the work necessary, but they still had time to enjoy it themselves. Most of the preparation was done in the morning before the gathering for worship. Because everything was free it became increasingly popular. No one minded if some people came just for food and fellowship and didn't attend the gathering for worship. Of course some who came during the worship celebration did not participate because they did not (yet) worship Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. But listening to the songs and prayers did communicate a little the spiritual experience of those who were in worship. Unavoidably when Dalia gave her talk, she was as much or more talking to the visitors as to the members. In fact she was talking for the members in communicating about developing awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Northampton was ripe for a spiritual revival focused on Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. What was communicated during the gathering of worship was not contained in any set of doctrine, belief, or conceptual understanding. It was both intensely personal and communal. The mystery of eternal and universal Life and Love became experienced by people with diverse personal awareness and diverse personal histories. Community awareness grew and alienation decreased. Cooperation increased and certain chronic problems of the community decreased like homelessness and drug addiction. It became obvious to many people that past attitudes and assumptions about life in the world were false and that all the arguments and conflicts indicated all involved suffered limitations of awareness. Divine Love generates cooperation and decreases conflict. Divine Love is not a system of understanding the world (which is usually false) but allows comprehension of and participation in the world as it is. Thus nothing less than spiritual or religious revival alters the quality of people's life in the world. 300 years ago America had a spiritual revival called the great awakening and Northampton played a noticeable part. However this time the spiritual revival in Northampton is from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

21 Our Divine Mother Maria: Clarisa's Story

Clarisa worked at a clothing store in Soho. For some reason she was awkward socially even though she was friendly to customers and co-workers. But she had anxiety at any possibility of informal socialization. She never asked a co-worker to do anything after work and always made an excuse if anyone ever asked her. She hated bars and detested men hitting on her. If anyone ever tried her silence and icy look was enough to make them go away. However loneliness was still a burden and she avoided going home in the evening. So after work she would walk up to the village, grab a slice of pizza, and then go to a cafe and sit, looking at people often with a mixture of a low level of envy and judgement.

At the cafe Figaro Clarisa sat alone as usual but couldn't help but over hear the conversations of a group of 6 people who were sharing with each other some relatively heavy personal experiences. Clarisa was fascinated with what she was hearing. She became a regular at that cafe because it soon became apparent the group met there regularly. She got to know them all. Not everyone who belonged to the group always came. So after a while she realized eight people belonged. She could never figure out if they were an organized group or just an informal group of friends. It seemed to be neither. One woman whose name was Dalia said relatively little but was obviously the leader. Her focus of attention on the others was intense and a little weird. The others would often look at her seemingly seeking a little affirmation. It was almost like she was communicating unconditional love, like a guru.

After many months of being an observer of the group meeting at cafe Figaro, one evening Clarisa witnessed something extraordinary. Suddenly everyone in the group was overwhelmed with emotion. Some were looking up with their arm raised and the palm of their hand towards the ceiling. Others had their head bowed and their hands folded. Many were crying and some looked stunned staring at nothing. Many were repeating the phrase " Ave Maria" over and over. Every one in the cafe was looking at them. But no one disturbed them. And eventually the evidently religious experience of the group subsided in intensity.

Clarisa was deeply affected by the conversion experience of the group. Going to the cafe and over hearing their conversations established a bond with them, almost as if they were her friends. Especially because she had no friends of her own. So when the group experienced something extraordinary, to a lesser degree Clarisa also experienced it. She did not experience conversion but some mysterious awareness. She did not much think about it.

Over the following month Clarisa continued to come to the cafe as did the group. They were talking about their spiritual awareness of their Divine Mother Maria, of their new found joy in their devotion to Her and the love they experienced from Her. Clarisa did not have such experience and was both a little skeptical and a little envious. She was somewhat jealous of the love they had for each other. From their conversations it was clear they had renounced sexual relationships and understood romantic love as delusional. Although Clarisa could never get involved in intimate relationships, she had always assumed there was something wrong with her. This was the first time she considered that perhaps her instincts were true and that the secular assumptions about sexuality and love were false. This realization was a subtle exhilaration, and a level of depression lifted for her.

After a while Clarisa avoided the cafe Figaro. The others' awareness had evolved so much that she ceased to be interested in them. She started to feel judgemental; she started to see them as some sort of religious cult who possessed spiritual secrets unavailable to mere regular folk. The joy and love they felt she did not feel; and in order to protect herself from feeling inferior, from feeling the grief of absence of such joy, she had to assume there was something wrong with them. In any case because they made her feel uncomfortable it was easy enough to just avoid them. But not before over hearing that they wanted to leave New York. Good, let them move out of the city and try and form a commune or something.

Although the cafe Reggio was very popular, Clarisa could sometimes find an available table on a weekday evening. She didn't stay too long but being in the crowded yet very special space evoked something that soothed her loneliness. One evening she was surprised to see Dalia come into the cafe and shocked when she came over to her table. Dalia spoke while fully smiling, "Hello, I know you have a bond with us and have shared in the mystery of how our awareness has developed. I think you should know we are moving to Northampton Massachusetts." Then Dalia tore out a sheet of paper from her notebook and handed it to Clarisa. "This is our new address. Feel free to visit us whenever you want to. May Our Divine Mother bless you!" Then Dalia walked away and left the cafe. In the glow of Dalia's smile Clarisa's resentment of the others melted away. She was amazed that Dalia had acknowledged her and extended the invitation. She doubted she would ever visit.

After her experience with Dalia at cafe Reggio, Clarisa began to wonder about spirituality. She knew she was missing something that others experienced. Yet it was not possible for her to arbitrarily trust some spiritual teacher or join some spiritual community. She would have to explore the vast diversity of communication about spirituality somehow on her own. She would have to trust her own intuition. She started to go home earlier in the evening and read anything that seemed to be interesting. She started to spend time in book stores browsing the religion and spirituality section. Piles of unread books started to accumulate in her apartment.

At times something she read gave her some spiritual experience. Over the next year her experience deepened and yet it could not be explained. Different books had different explanations of spiritual reality that partly conflicted with each other. But Clarisa was not interested in a system of understanding but in any experience of what was ultimately a great mystery.

One morning Clarisa woke remembering part of a dream. She was sitting at a table in cafe Reggio talking to Dalia. Clarisa, "All this confusion of different ways people describe what is spiritual. Obviously they have great conviction and personal experience of spiritual reality, but it doesn't mean that I can experience it or believe it." Dalia, "Yes that is true. However eventually you will discover your experience and understanding of what is true." Dalia was smiling at Clarisa and suddenly the experience of being loved overwhelmed her. Dalia spoke, "Do not mistake me as the source of the love you experience. Our Divine Mother Maria loves us both intensely. We are sisters of Our Mother's Love!" When Clarisa woke up the memory of being loved remained.

After a year of spiritual search Clarisa was open to the simple but profound experience of Divine love from her Divine Mother. Clarisa could experience what she observed others experienced at cafe Figaro about a year and a half before. After a while it became evident why she had to wait. A year of reading taught her much and she drew on what she learned as she began a life of prayer to her Divine Mother Maria. Because Divine love is not much known by the world, reconciling living in the world and having a prayer life is difficult. It usually requires spiritual teachers or spiritual community to help in the confusion of two conflicting sets of reality. Clarisa had to rely on herself. Actually she had to rely on continual openness to being guided by angels of Divine Mother Maria. But it was very useful to have had knowledge she learned from reading. She did not necessarily believe everything she had learned but aspects could be incorporated into her evolving understanding that corresponded with her spiritual experience.

22 Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos: Part One

Saint Matthew Episcopal Church received a package in the mail in September. It contained a 3 ring binder holding about 70 pages. It was titled Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, volume one.

Donna was the pastor of St Matthews. Unfortunately, Donna saw the congregation of her church slowly decrease every year since she came to St Matthews as assistant pastor 15 years before. Only recently could she admit the increasingly smaller congregation was causing her to be depressed. Sometimes she even dreaded Sunday morning. Sometimes she couldn't sing the hymns and thank god there was a small but almost professional choir that the church paid for as well as a decent organist. But sometimes she couldn't help but think the church service was primarily a classical music performance in a beautiful space for a privileged audience. And she was just playing her role in the liturgical performance. But eventually the small older audience would unfortunately either be dead or too infirm to attend the performance. Some day the church will have to close. What was once something she worried about was now something she would be relieved if it happened.

Saint Matthews church received a package in the mail. It contained a book titled "Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos - volume one" . Donna took a week to read the short book. She wasn't sure if she was interested. She had conflicting feelings about it. First of all it was not Christian. It also contained some strange ideas about marriage and family. But mostly the key awareness of the book was worship of a different God, Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Donna was both disturbed and curious about this alternative path of knowing God. In some ways it was natural to think of God as Mother but 2000 years of tradition worshipped God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and for all Christians faith in God was understood that way. To follow the path portrayed in the book would lead one out of the Christian church and that seemed impossible. And yet for her the church she had served for 15 years was only a few years from closing. Her specific path would come to an end. Although obviously she could remain in the Christian church it was doubtful she could find a position as pastor of another church. Almost all Episcopal churches were in decline. Across America a number of Episcopal churches closed each year. Even other Christian denominations were suffering decline. The evangelical churches that were thriving would never hire her and they were not the kind of church she would want to belong to. Of course she could try and find a different job and just attend a church as a member of a congregation, but that eventuality just left her depressed.

One Sunday evening Donna went to bed more depressed than usual. But when she woke up Monday morning she was in panic. She kept it together while her children were preparing for school. After they got on the school bus, anxiety increased, so she left the house and walked quickly through her neighborhood towards town. When she reached downtown she calmed just a little. She walked around looking at others and at shop windows and at traffic. Her mind quieted somewhat. She walked to the small park by the harbor and sat on a bench looking out over the water. She knew she had to quit. The Bishop's office could find a replacement for her easily. She was only going to give one month notice. That was the best she could do.

Because she knew she was leaving, the remaining times at church worship service were easier. After telling the small congregation that she was leaving for personal reasons, the parishioners wished her well and expressed gratitude for her service to the church. Although she appreciated that, some part of her mind wondered how much they pondered about their own future last good-byes; it was not something polite people of faith talked about. She was not a therapist or counselor to her congregation. She didn't have that type of relationship with them and only rarely had anyone ever sought her out for that kind of conversation. Perhaps that was her fault. Perhaps she was too distant from them, but perhaps that was what they felt comfortable with. It was a huge problem that the congregation aging and leaving the church forever was also the end of the church. But it wasn't their responsibility. The church was a failure. No other way to say it. But for whatever reason the larger Episcopal church could not solve the problem. Implicitly everyone was accepting the decline and to be blunt the eventual probable death of the Episcopal Church as a separate denomination. Some people were talking about the eventual disappearance of the Church by 2050.

Donna had gone back to school a decade after she had graduated with a masters in business administration. Ten years of hard work in the corporate world was at first exhilarating but ended up just being exhausting. Her biological clock was ticking so she thought being a pastor would give her more time to raise a family. And after having burned out and become disillusioned with the corporate world, she thought being a pastor would be more meaningful. While being in divinity school her spiritual awareness grew and she graduated with both a masters degree and fervent faith. Her new found purpose gave her much enthusiasm for life. In a word she was very attractive with vitality and she had no trouble finding a worthy man to wed. Everything went according to plan and she had two children before hitting menopause. However slowly her life started to decrease in vitality. Perhaps some of the symptoms of menopause made her somewhat more irritable, maybe middle age made her less attractive, maybe her husband got bored with family life; but in any case Robert had an affair that did not end and the marriage was over after 12 years.

Donna had saved much from when she was working corporate and invested it well. She put up 40% of the cost of the house as down payment. So although Robert had a higher income than her during the marriage, she got ownership of the house in the divorce and she didn't press for unreasonable child support. Somehow it was an amicable divorce. Donna secretly desired autonomy and enjoyed being head of household. Her children were relatively independent and were cooperative around the house. When she left her job as pastor she stopped reinvesting the returns from her investments and that became her income. She was always relatively frugal and avoided unnecessary spending. She grew up lower middle class and because her childhood was relatively happy associated that level of lifestyle with contentment. In any case she considered herself as possibly having retired early and did not feel pressure to start a third career.

After she retired so to speak she enjoyed being home. Her children talked to her more than before. But mostly she just enjoyed having no pressure at all. She wasn't lonely and didn't miss Robert. In hindsight there was often a little awkwardness to how they related to each other. They weren't interested in the same things and had to force giving attention to each other. Subtle irritations had to be suppressed. They both had to try and be good to each other at all times. Yes they made it work; they had a good marriage. But having a good marriage took too much work for it to be really satisfying. Donna was relieved it was over and even grateful Robert initiated the breakup. Because Donna would have continued to make it work indefinitely.

Donna's children spent some weekends with their father and his new wife. It was an adventure and Robert took them to interesting places. It was indeed quality time and they didn't really need to see him every week. They mostly needed the comfort and security of their home. They needed their mother more than their father. Donna didn't think the divorce was a negative development for them. She was even beginning to suspect Robert was a slightly intimidating presence in their home before the divorce. They felt more comfortable expressing themselves after he left. She was beginning to suspect all the assumptions about marriage and family might be to some degree false. So she was a little open to considering the radical ideas about marriage and family contained in the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Not only did the book portray God as mother, the book described as ideal a matriarchal household of several women and children. Marriage would not exist and men who worshipped Our Divine Mother Mariatheos would live outside of the matriarchal households but contribute to them and serve the matriarchal community in different ways.

After a couple years without work Donna started to experience anxiety but without any obvious cause. She remembered an idea from the strange book she received in the mail years ago: people have the potential to experience existential grief or fear from the conviction of their fundamental separation from the source of all life. Donna knew her prayer life had been decreasing for years. Prayer had become limited to the ritual of the church. Even her personal reading of the Book of Common Prayer was more ritual than spiritual communication. She had lost some capacity for spiritual openness she had a decade and a half earlier. Somehow gradually she lost some level of faith. The liturgy, the immersive experience of the church worship service, substituted for personal experience. To be honest it was superior to whatever the individual could experience spiritually. But it could not help when people needed direct inspiration within their personal struggle with psyche and circumstance. To be crude when people needed to talk with God! The evangelical and the pentecostal churches much more focused on a personal relationship with God, with Jesus. Of course the mainline churches had the same ideas about personal prayer; but the formalization of prayer actually could displace an individual's capacity for personal prayer. Not for everyone fortunately but for some people, and that included Donna.

In desperation Donna read the Book of Common Prayer hoping for a connection to God. But although beautiful, the experience for her was of others spiritual experience, not her own. It seemed to her a book from centuries past that could not provide for her the experience of the presence of God. She actually began to cry. She was in grief because she knew faith was possible but she had very little. She knew faith was the solution but she did not have it. So grudgingly she accepted that she would have to embark on the journey of spiritual search. And that would have to include all the diverse spirituality alternative to Christianity. It could be a very very long journey.

If only she could shorten the journey of spiritual search somehow. If only she could discover faith without exploring the vast amount of diverse spiritual writing available. If only she could be guided by not known spiritual forces. If only she was given a sign. She realized such hope was a faint indication of faith. She had a little hope such small faith could grow over time.

One morning she woke up knowing she had already been given the way to gain faith. But because it was so different from what she had learned and different from what she had spoken about to her congregation when she was a pastor, she had mostly ignored it. It was the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos - volume one, that she read in her church office about half a year before she quit. It was relatively easy to dismiss the book as just another eccentric expression of spirituality only relevant to the one who wrote it. So she didn't think much about it since. Now she somehow knew she must take it much more seriously.

Donna read the strange book several times over the next month. The breakthrough was the realization that her backlog of grief blocked openness to faith. Being separated from universal Life and eternal Love generated persistent grief not usually conscious. Other people could not be a source of much love and her own capacity to love others was limited. These limitations of love are just accepted, but if compared with the desire for a life of intense love could reveal the grief of living in such limitations. But it was impossible to experience that potentially devastating flood of grief and survive. The key was to accept the space of emptiness. Interior observation of her experience could at times reveal the experience of emptiness. It was a subtle yet profound modality of awareness. Whatever came into the experience of emptiness dissipated. Her whole human awareness of life was inherently severely limited. Slowly and incrementally habitual patterns of human awareness had to become empty in order for grace to enter, for faith to enter. Donna could not determine how faith was revealed, and she suspected eventually she would be given faith in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Because she accepted that her chronic anxiety was generated from deeper not directly observable existential fear, Donna didn't have to pursue futile attempts to solve for anxiety by any of the diverse methods offered by other people. She could summon the courage to accept that existential problems require existential solutions. The only solution was to develop awareness of original source of life, or god. There could only be a spiritual solution to lack of spiritual awareness. The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos could be a guide for such spiritual awareness development. She would have to focus on the process of incremental transformation of awareness almost continually. Fortunately direct spiritual help even if not known would always be with her. She was developing some faith.

Slowly and incrementally awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos entered the space of emptiness that Donna was able to accept while in contemplation. Contemplation had become her job. Without a job in the world to focus on, psyche unavoidably became conscious. Not just anxiety but often enough a low level of grief would burden her. Even if her life was comfortable, others were suffering, and she could not avoid some degree of empathy for others. Also she felt the loss of her job as a pastor in the Episcopal church. It was because she loved the church that its relentless decline so troubled her that she could no longer bear it. Feeling helpless and powerless about it eventually became a panic that forced her to leave. And she couldn't even go back as a parishioner to any Episcopal church. It had become difficult to attend any Christian church and she didn't know why. But when anxiety became chronic for her she realized she actually didn't have faith. Church had become participation in a cultural institution, and one that paid her a salary. So she was grateful and enjoyed the culture of the church. If the church had not been in decline she would have been happy to stay there. But not understood personal experience of crisis forced her to leave. After a couple years of enjoyment of personal freedom and domestic contentment, personal experience of low level crisis returned. However now she understood it as existential, there was no escape, and she had gained some capacity to deal with it on its own terms.

After a few years, experience from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos was so solid for Donna that she was not only exceedingly grateful to Mariatheos, but she also knew she must help bring knowledge of Mariatheos to others. In fact Donna knew she must eventually lead a church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. How a community of people who worshipped Mariatheos would develop she had no idea. Actually it would be the work of the Holy Spirit of Mariatheos. Donna had to be open to being led by Holy Spirit each day and do whatever she must do to contribute to the development of a community of Mariatheos.

By the time her youngest had gone off to college, Donna was ready to significantly alter her life. She realized that for others to discover Mariatheos few would be able to do it on their own. Most people would need a spiritual counselor who could guide them through a very difficult purgatorial process. Thus she would need to be a spiritual counselor before there was a church of Mariatheos. Yet anyone who accepted counseling would have to know it was not normal psychological counseling and they should have no expectations. The goal would be to develop capacity for emptiness and thus capacity for spiritual awareness. Upon more contemplation and inspiration from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, Donna was guided to set up the Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. It would include both a class for teaching and discussion, and private counseling. Because the students must have some commitment, it would cost something: a half percent of monthly income of the student each month. But it would be explained someone could stop participating at any time without judgement.

An advertisement ran in the local paper apx 8 times in September:

Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is offering a free introductory talk every Tuesday afternoon (2 pm) and Wednesday evening (7 pm) during the first two weeks of October for an ongoing course that will start the last week of October. Low cost sliding scale monthly fee for the course. This will be very difficult spiritual work. No promises and no fast results. Your life could get worse. 351 Purchase Street, second floor, office # 19.

Introductory talk:

Hello, my name is Donna and I will be teaching a course on discovering Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. The fee I am asking is one half of a percent of your monthly income a month. So if you live off an income of 4000 a month it would be good if you would donate 20 dollars a month to the school. The course will be about 10 hours a month. So your fee is an indicator of your commitment. I expect the total of fees collected will only partly contribute to expenses. Mostly I will be subsidizing the school and I collect no salary. I am doing this out of love and gratitude for the blessings given to me by Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

However my journey of discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos has been long and difficult, even though I benefited from many advantages. I had much time and few worries so when I began to suffer from chronic anxiety it was obvious the cause was not circumstance. There was nothing to blame so it became clear the cause was within me and I had to find the solution within my personal awareness. Oh, and a crucial contribution was a book that for some mysterious reason was mailed to me years before I began to rely on it. If you participate in this course you will get a copy of the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos - volume one.

Introductory talk continued:

Although the course will be held in a classroom, it is not a course in the usual sense. You will not be learning information primarily or developing a set of skills. You will be discovering new patterns of awareness, and that awareness will be increasingly at deeper levels. It will be messy and full of confusion. You will be unraveling your awareness of your self and of the world. All of this is necessary in order for you to become open to awareness of life and love from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos! Unfortunately this difficult purgatorial process of awareness development is what is necessary for the average person to become open to Holy Spirit of Mariatheos. For some people it might not be necessary and they do not need this course. But if you are here probably you both hope to gain awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and are willing to do what is necessary so as to experience the grace She wants to give you. You might wonder why it is difficult, why isn't it easier. Being human is inherently to live in a not understood purgatorial realm. The world is a purgatory. Everyone has a different degree of suffering. People might have fantasies of the good life, but experientially what looks like the good life might not be so good.

Introductory talk continued:

It doesn't matter what we think the world should be, the world doesn't care. But conversely our fears about the world might be exaggeration and not necessarily real. Our ignorance is vast and whatever awareness we have about the world is to some degree false. So what we know is our experience. And this is both our problem and our hope. Because it is within your awareness that amazing experience can develop. Because others have described wonderful experience we know it is possible. But ironically we can't fully trust others' description of their experience. Because any description can be a distortion. In any case it is only your experience that you know, but not necessarily understand. So it is your experience of some hope that might motivate you to attend this course. But I am being as clear as I can that what you will experience over time will probably be more difficult than enjoyable. So your motivation might not be understood. It might partly be from not known Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Donna offered the course Monday and Wednesday evening and Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. Students could attend twice a week whenever they wanted to. About 20 people signed up and some of them came once a week so usually there were about 8 people in the classroom.

Donna would not be offering personal spiritual counseling until after the New Year. Before a class started she would offer to talk with someone for 15 minutes. She wanted someone to focus on a hindrance to their spiritual awareness and not as a time to talk about their life. Donna wanted to avoid someone mistaking her for a friend. In fact to someone's normal self awareness, the whole process of spiritual awareness development was a threat. She would leave the door open and sort of subtly encourage the other to talk in generalities and not use the time as a confessional. She wanted the other to take some responsibility for their process of spiritual awareness development and at the same time accept their dependency on help from the spiritual realm. And she wanted the other to avoid emotional dependency on her. She was not their friend. She was a teacher and a guide.

Hello, my name is Donna and thank you for attending the first Monday evening class for our ongoing discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. I assume that is your purpose for being here. Or perhaps you are hoping to discover if you could even believe it is possible. So let me tell you a little about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos but you do not have to believe what I will be talking about is real. Because you would need to have some experience to generate belief. It is perfectly fine for you to be skeptical of what I talk about.

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is the same as Original Source of all Reality. The Deity Who is how people know Original Source is experientially indistinguishable from Original Source. Thus Original Source is known through a diversity of Deities but for most people usually only one Deity is how they know the universal original Source of reality. It is possible to accept this paradox, that people know one god as universal but different people have different gods who are universal for them but not for others.

In the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches Mary or Maria is in effect a Deity but not original source. People pray to her but She has to take those prayers to a higher authority. Since Her Son is part of the Trinity, He is either closer to original source or is Himself original source. The Theology of the Trinity can become complex. So Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is heretical to Christians. Because we believe Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is universal eternal original source. We believe Holy Spirit emanates from Her continually and She is Source of Her Son Jesus Christ. This is a very different religion than Christianity but has evolved from Christianity. Christianity is 2000 years old and we are just beginning.

Emptiness is the crucial modality of awareness that facilitates capacity for awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos! Without some experiential emptiness the idea of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos can not be experienced. Our habitual patterns of awareness are persistent and usually we can only accept similar patterns of awareness. If potential new patterns of awareness conflict with the well established patterns of awareness we already have, the potential new patterns will be rejected and never experienced. Even if we want to experience them we will not be able to. And this is why I warned everyone that this path of discovery will be difficult: because established patterns of awareness resist their decrease, any decrease will usually be experienced as suffering. Because we resist decrease of habitual patterns of awareness, if they decrease it will often seem the causality is from beyond our self, as if we are being afflicted. Experientially it will be more like decay; it is when we accept the loss of habitual patterns of awareness that they have decreased. This acceptance usually requires the awareness of emptiness. Thus emptiness is revealed by the the decrease of patterns of common experience. This whole process is like riding a bicycle. An ability that is difficult to describe. So probably it will be frustrating for you to gain the ability to experience emptiness. Here is where it gets worse: the experience of emptiness can be the result of having experienced despair. So you might at times suffer so much that you feel despair. Despair is giving up on an attachment you have to some desire or to some assumption you have about what is necessary for you to have for your life. This is deeply emotional and detachment doesn't come from just understanding our desires or assumptions are false. So because this path includes suffering it is also long. Suffering must be tolerable and thus the decay of habitual patterns of awareness takes as much time as necessary.

If you want to practice any routine of meditation so as to cultivate mindfulness that is fine, but for many people such discipline is not necessary. And the ability to observe your thoughts and experience is not exactly the same as developing the capacity for emptiness. Contemplation can occur at any time; often it is just pausing while doing something else or even while doing something else, especially repetitive tasks that don't require a lot of thought. But as I have indicated the acceptance of emptiness is often a result of decay of common patterns of awareness. And that is a process that we don't control. So this school doesn't give you a discipline to follow. You have to determine if any spiritual practice is useful or even possible for you. But it is possible, perhaps probable, that if you're attending this class you are on a spiritual path similar to what is being described here. You don't have to attend twice a week if you feel too overwhelmed. You have to adjust your attention to what seems best for you from moment to moment and from day to day on this long journey you are on. Don't think that I have any expectations for how you live your life or how your awareness develops; and probably it is best if you have as few expectations for your self as possible. So until next time, may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you!

Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos: Part Two

The 20 people enrolled in the Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos were very different from each other. Different ages, ethnic groups, income levels, education. Somehow they were willing to follow a spiritual path they could not know much about. They shared a reliance on their own intuition. They had different past experience with different spiritual or religious communities, spiritual teachers, or spiritual books or videos about spirituality. For some reason they were skeptical of spiritual rhetoric that promised wonderful spiritual experience just by reading a book or taking a workshop or online program usually costing more than a nominal amount. Past disappointment or disillusionment enabled them to accept that the Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos promised little except further suffering.

Hello, my name is Donna and Welcome to Wednesday evening class.

I admire your courage for joining me on this voyage of discovery and your willingness to accept whatever suffering comes your way. We are being guided by not known spiritual forces. To some extent you might be able to accept the spiritual understandings that I communicate. However unless your personal experience confirms any understanding that you have, it will remain tentative. Even personal experience might not confirm it more than a little. Because everyday common secular awareness is usually dominant and coexists with developing spiritual awareness. For most of us bifurcation of awareness into secular and spiritual is not avoidable. So it is to be expected that you might alternate between enthusiasm for the spiritual understanding you learn in this class and skepticism. The real place where you learn is in your everyday life. Your awareness develops every moment no matter how trivial or mundane. Very subtly common awareness incrementally transforms. But you might not understand how.

Because we are on a spiritual path it is futile to try and understand it by secular awareness, which as I have said is dominant. Thus a paradox: spiritual awareness is a bubble of awareness inside of our larger secular awareness and yet at times it seems spiritual awareness is larger and contains our normal secular patterns of awareness. Paradox is important to be aware of. But because of paradox it is difficult to describe spiritual awareness. Thus it is not avoidable that to the secular mind spiritual awareness is foolish.

To be blunt, what I am doing is guiding you on the collective task of creating a religious community. Thus the Christian church is a great model of what we are developing. However increasing numbers of people have either left the Christian church or would never consider joining. So alternatives to the Christian church must develop. There have been new religious movements that claim to be Christian but are not recognized by most people as Christian. These include the Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, and even Christian Science. I mention these to show that religious innovation is an aspect of the evolution of human societies.

What we are doing has much spiritual purpose but seems foolish to almost everyone. If we accept our spiritual purpose we can also accept humility and understand judgement from others is not avoidable. But since our spiritual purpose does not depend on others no one can stop us. Other's judgement is just how they understand what they can not know. Unfortunately we will suffer much internal judgement; because our awareness is bifurcated. In fact we suffer internal conflict. Our common awareness of our self in the world limits our capacity for spiritual awareness and spiritual grace. Thus in order for our capacity for spiritual awareness to increase, our common awareness of our self in the world must decrease. And that is experienced as affliction of our self in the world. Until we accept the decrease of patterns of awareness of our self in the world, our experience of spiritual grace might be very little.

Mostly the purpose for our being together is a mystery. You can not expect much that will seem beneficial. Some grace will be experienced but not enough to justify what you are learning or how your awareness develops. If you are here some mysterious source of motivation inspires you. An unreasonable hope indicates a transcendent source of that hope. So as unreasonable as it might be to claim, we have been chosen by Our Divine Mother Mariatheos to discover awareness and experience of Her great love for us. However the journey we are on to Her Love is long and arduous. At times you will experience such subtle bliss. Not enough to solve for distress. But enough to remind you of your being chosen for this journey. Until next time, may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless us greatly!

Surprisingly by March only a couple people dropped out of the spiritual school of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. The camaraderie that developed among those who attended was a deep satisfaction that was only somewhat acknowledged. Slowly their conviction of their individuality was decreasing and their awareness of belonging to a strange group of people on a spiritual pilgrimage was growing. Not yet a religious community but a spiritual fellowship. Their respect and gratitude for Donna was large. Each had experienced at least once personal counseling with her. What they experienced was more than insight about their personal pilgrimage, but was some sort of mystic transmission of spiritual experience. Not able to be understood and with time only vaguely remembered. But it solidified their commitment to the spiritual school of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Donna had little premonition of how she would change once she started the spiritual school of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Indeed she became aware of the school as a spiritual reality communicating into the world. Although some of that communication was through her, most of it was directly to the people attending class, even if mostly they didn't realize it. The unraveling of habitual patterns of awareness was from spiritual forces and the growth of new patterns of awareness was inspired by spiritual forces. In other words there was spiritual causality to everyone's awareness development.

Hello, my name is Donna and welcome to Tuesday afternoon class.

Let me deliver to you my deepest gratitude for participating in this spiritual school for almost half a year. Although I have the responsibility for teaching, all of us compose the spiritual community in the world that is part of the community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos existing in the spiritual realm. Although you are mostly ignorant of the reality of our community within the spiritual realm, because of my responsibility for teaching, the spiritual realm is being more revealed to me. Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is being more revealed to me. In other words my experience of Her life and love has been increasing and it is wonderful! But I have been on journey towards Her Holy Love for almost a decade. So you can not expect to experience that level of grace. You only gain the grace you have capacity for. It is the development of capacity that is sometimes exceedingly distressful and difficult. For mostly the myriad and complex patterns of awareness of people's lives severely limit their capacity for spiritual grace. Everything that people experience of their self, of others, of society, of the world is complex and persistent. To be blunt, people might not have any room for Divine Love. Human love and its limitations might be the only type of love known.

It is absolutely true that other spiritual paths offer the opportunity to discover Divine love. Most obvious is Christianity and the numerous diverse Christian churches. But although millions of people are in those communities, not everyone can join them. Right now I am not going to discuss why; it is just not possible for many people and millions of people are participating in the huge multiplicity and diversity of alternative spirituality. So it is not really possible to know why someone is on one spiritual path amongst all the possibilities. It is good enough to just understand that as fate.

What we can observe in the world is directly joined with what is not observable within the spiritual realm. Everyone's spiritual awareness is different and communities of spiritual awareness are different. So it should be obvious that the spiritual realm is vast and complex and mostly not known. But if we have some humility we can discover spiritual awareness without the assumption that it is true for others. If some others are on a similar process of discovery they might belong to the same spiritual community. And that is what we have here. What is important is your personal awareness development. Because esoteric knowledge is not as important as your everyday experience. It is the transformation of common habitual awareness that is what changes your life. Since all patterns of awareness are intertwined, your awareness slowly evolves even if you have some especially vital realizations in some moments. So my talks in class are going to be somewhat redundant. Because you will have to make the same kind of realizations over and over again. Our awareness develops in cycles that repeat thousands of times. Our progress might not be observable because what is most conscious is the moment and how your awareness cycles in your immediate experience. Common awareness persists; it's limitations become known; patterns of common awareness decay often by conflict either within your self or with others or with the physical world; decay generates distress; at some point you start to observe your assumptions about your self or reality; then the moment of realization of how some aspect of your awareness is false; then you can accept emptiness of some patterns of common awareness; and then you might experience some spiritual grace; and then perhaps the cycle starts again. Or perhaps being in grace you participate in the world out of grace, before the cycle starts over again.

The spiritual realm is very very real. But we mostly only know the world. Actually that is how this game of life in the world is meant to be. But always throughout the world and throughout history some spiritual awareness is and has been necessary. Necessarily spiritual awareness is known culturally, thus religion. However in this modern age religion is not entangled in all the other patterns of society. Secular society allows for diversity of religion and personal spiritual awareness. Personal spiritual awareness has a cultural aspect. Books and all communication are inherently cultural. There is some representation of what is beyond knowing into what can be understood. And any system of understanding has some relationship with other systems of understanding. In any case this bifurcation of awareness into the common secular and the spiritual allows great diversity of cultural representation of spiritual awareness but limits the integration of spiritual awareness with awareness necessary for participation in the world. This internal bifurcation can be a severe limitation. But it is our challenge to integrate our internal awareness and reduce internal conflict. Actually we can not do this from the limitations of our self. Only not known spiritual forces can heal us. Spiritual reality is wiser than both us and the world. For us here, Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is transforming our totality of awareness, our self awareness, awareness of others and the world, our awareness of nature and our own biological organism, and our awareness of spiritual community. All of this is slow, complex, and barely conscious. But some consciousness is necessary. And this spiritual school is necessary for us. Unfortunately confusion and frustration are going to be chronic. If you accept not known spiritual forces are in control then you could have faith and accept that really you don't know much about what is happening to you. Because it is false to assume that you need to understand. So again another paradox: what you learn here is necessary but mostly you can not understand what is going on. What you gain here is more than some understanding. More important is the awareness of being together on this spiritual pilgrimage which is necessarily purgatorial. So you give each other courage on this difficult journey. Until next time, may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you all greatly!

Inevitably some of those in the spiritual school formed friendships. Because a friendship requires some mutual respect, friends learned not to try and help each other by just repeating stuff they heard Donna talk about in class. They learned to listen to each other and often unavoidably remembered similar experience that they have had. Friendship showed that they were not alone in their sometimes difficult purgatorial process of transformation. Which was slow and incremental, but at times wonderful, even if too brief.

Hello, my name is Donna and welcome to Thursday afternoon class.

In the lovely month of May when the trees are in bloom we are reminded of the great force and beauty of natural life. However we are mostly ignorant of nature and even of the amazing biological human being. Thus as much as it might seem instinctive, who we are is not the human organism. Who we are is a set of awareness that is almost totally ignorant of the living body we think of as ourselves. A good comparison is the driver of a car has some control of where and how fast the car goes but is not conscious of each stroke of the pistons in the engine or the spinning axles or the electric signals in the wires. But it is obvious that a person is not a car because a person can enter and leave a car. How our awareness interrelates with the body it assumes is identical with the self is not understood. Obviously we have sensation within the body but we know nothing directly of what is going on in each of the billions of cells. We know our thoughts, emotions, images of our mind but we do not directly observe all the cells in the brain and all the electrical messages and connections between cells going on. It is possible to understand the mind as distinct from the brain even though there is an intense complex interaction. So please consider the idea that you are not your body. Ironically you know more about the human body from other people, books, video, teachers and doctors, than you know from direct communication between your body and your self. Obviously our awareness has much knowledge that seems to come through the sense organs of our human organism. Touch, smell, taste, sound, sight. And our emotions are felt within our body. But much of our awareness is not obviously tied to what is perceived through the senses. Thought, imagination, abstraction, visualization, dreams, memory, and perhaps other types of awareness. Thus no matter how complex our awareness is and how complex the human organism is, I think you could realize the relationship between our awareness and our human body is complex but not much known or understood. It is a mystery, as much of reality is a great mystery. However if you begin to accept that who you are is not what you have assumed is who you are, your awareness of who you are has potential for evolution, for change, and for revelation.

I can not teach you what I do not know. So I can not tell you anything about how the spiritual realm creates the world. All I can tell you is that the world is not self created. There is a not known process of creation. However there are numerous different cultural understandings of creation. That includes the secular and seemingly scientific theories of creation. But they are mostly speculation. They are stories that have some correspondence to observable reality but are not necessarily the full explanation which is not possible to know. Every creation story has a beginning which is just accepted as being sufficient. If you ask what was before the beginning you are told it is a meaningless question. Because a system of meaning is self containing. Anything outside of that system is meaningless. So if you ask what was before the big bang you are told time was created by the big bang. If you ask what created the big bang either the answer is we don't know or it is not relevant. So it is human beings who determine what system of understanding is comprehensive. It should be obvious before the big bang is mystery. And much about the universe is mystery. We don't know anything about life beyond the earth. Although there seems to be evidence of visitation by extraterrestrial craft of some sort. So it is only a human decision to ignore the spiritual realm even though there are so many people who have experiential confirmation of the spiritual realm. Because society mostly is composed of secular institutions and systems of relationship based on secular knowledge such as the legal system and commerce, because participation in school and work requires secular knowledge, it is possible to participate in society with only secular knowledge. So it is possible to have no spiritual awareness and even believe that there is no spiritual realm. But most people do not only rely on secular knowledge and awareness. Most people feel some spiritual awareness is necessary. Because it is difficult to exist without some spiritual awareness. Most recovery programs include cultivation of spiritual awareness. People who do not belong to a spiritual community such as a church often try and develop spiritual awareness by personal spiritual practice, meditation, and/or prayer. And many have engaged on spiritual search. Somehow the spiritual realm guides all in their great diversity. An aspect of spiritual diversity is growth of new expressions of spiritual awareness. So on a micro level, this spiritual school is a new expression of spirituality.

This spiritual school is a micro part of the much larger spiritual movement of discovery of Deity who is Mother. India has always known Her but in areas with a Christian heritage, this is a relatively recent historical development. However millions of people know Divine Mother who belong to the Catholic or the Eastern Orthodox Churches. So in the Christian world for perhaps 2000 years people have known Divine Mother, but She is not the highest Deity, She is not God. God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But many people have left the Christian church and many of them have retained devotion to their Divine Mother and many regard Her as their highest Deity, perhaps God. Theology is not important to most people and they do not need understanding of original source. Perhaps it is best to let original source be a great mystery. My teaching is that Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is Original Source of all Life! But you do not need to accept that. You might want to leave original source a great mystery and accept Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as your Deity you pray to or seek grace from. Or you might reject the name Mariatheos and just have devotion to your Divine Mother. Basically the spiritual principles that I talk about do not require you to worship Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. In fact for some of you any type of worship is impossible and prayer itself might only rarely be possible. This school has been mostly focusing on developing capacity for spiritual awareness and there is no expectation that you have any specific kind of spiritual awareness. What I talk about is much determined by my intuition as to what is most necessary for you to hear at the time of each class. Obviously you are different as to your personal awareness. None the less there is some mysterious commonality of awareness development for the group.

At this time I want to let you know that in a month and a half we will take some time off from this spiritual school. We will not meet during the month of July and of course no fee will be collected for that month. I know I need the rest and I suspect many of you might feel similar. Let me thank you for undertaking this arduous journey with me. You have demonstrated much courage in exploring the foundational aspects of awareness, of who you are; and participating in the evolution of those foundational aspects of awareness, of who you are! Until we meet again, may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you greatly!

Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos: Part Three

During the July recess the members of the spiritual school of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos were able to discover that they could be responsible for their awareness development. Not that they were causal, it was obvious mysterious forces were in control of their moment to moment experience as well as their circumstance. Since attending the spiritual school it became apparent that previous understanding of their life in the world was mostly false. Any assignment of something in the world as being responsible for their experience was a common but false assumption. Even the assumption that their own limitations of ability to participate were responsible for their frustrations and dissatisfaction, was also false. To be simple, Donna had convinced them that the root of all suffering was existential crisis, which was chronic and only sometimes experientially severe. They had become trained to observe their experience and let it dissipate into emptiness. To accept the great void, which was the aspect of existence that was necessary for all distinct patterns, but which was the absence of life. Because it was possible to be aware of the void of life it was possible to accept any pattern of suffering, because suffering was resistance to awareness of void or emptiness. However being able to become aware of void of life indicates we are part of universal life. Only universal eternal Life has ability to be aware of the great void of life.

Hello, my name is Donna and welcome to Monday evening class. I hope that during the July recess you experienced some self reliance in your process of purgatorial awareness development. Not false self, but we automatically have a self that is a point of orientation and has no substance. Anything that we assume constitutes our self has potential to decay. Although persistent patterns of what we have and thus what seems to be who we are have purpose. It is just as futile to resist the persistence of what we are given as it is futile to resist change or decay of what we are given. It is normal to assume that persistent patterns of what you have are also what you are. Thus it is normal to assume any change to what you have changes who you are. False awareness is not avoidable. What we are learning to do is recognize patterns of false awareness when reality pushes or forces us to do so. There is a paradoxical kind of false self awareness that tries to become more enlightened than is possible at any point in time. This results in pretense or unnecessary rejection of what you are given by the forces of creation. In other words a certain amount of false self awareness is necessary for us to be in the world.

Although I gave you all a copy of the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos - volume one - last year, I haven't talked much about it. Since being back after the July recess is sort of like starting another school year we are going to start focusing on the book. The more we look at it the more we will find. Although there is much spiritual knowledge in the book, the book contains stories about people discovering Our Divine Mother. We have been in the process of such discovery.

The book starts off with the story of Oakport and the story of Oakport starts in colonial Massachusetts. This roots the story in history. Our stories are rooted in history. Society is where we live. Society determines much about ourselves, our limitations as well as opportunities. But society has evolved over time and has historical roots. The story fairly quickly summarises the history of Oakport and the history of the Oakport Manufacturing company. And then Albert Peterson is introduced. His story and his wife's story determines their son George Peterson's story which is crucial to the story of others discovery of Our Divine Mother. So even though a relatively brief description, Oakport shows how different people's stories are interdependent. Oakport loses population in the early decades after world war two but gains population in the last few decades of the 20th century. The community of Oakport changes dramatically but is still related to its history. It's history provided the opportunity for this evolved community to develop.

The story shows how seemingly separate developments are interrelated. Mary Coultier is a crucial person in how the community of Our Divine Mother develops. Many people both in Oakport and from beyond Oakport go to the Cafe Fantastique during the afternoon and hope they get an opportunity to sit at her table, and have the possibility of gaining a significant spiritual revelation. So her contribution to people in their growing discovery of Our Divine Mother is one factor in the development of an informal community of people with such spiritual awareness. Most of them including Mary Coultier visit the chapels of Our Divine Mother. For many it was in a chapel that they first experienced Our Divine Mother as a personal revelation. The chapels were built by George Peterson. Actually he didn't build them but paid for the alteration and renovation of an existing Catholic church building no longer in use. So there is always a preceding historical development to everything that develops in the world. We are immersed in a web of existence both in the present and in the past. And not so obviously also the future.

The story of Oakport introduces Paul Fieldstone and describes much of his story. George Peterson is rich but has suffered much alienation from others. Paul Fieldstone is poor and suffers much alienation from others. Because of his wealth George could be responsible for the creation of the chapels of Our Divine Mother. After Paul moves to Oakport, he becomes a regular visitor to the chapels. Different people have different roles in a community but the community includes all of its participants. In the beginning the community of Our Divine Mother is primarily an awareness community but has some patterns of participation in the world. The renovation of an older church building into the chapels is definitely participation in the world as well as people visiting them. People sitting at a table with Mary Coultier is participation in the world. But people's awareness of Our Divine Mother is not participation in the world. In fact it is awareness of that which is beyond the world. People's awareness of what is beyond the world is known within their personal awareness which does have much focus on the world. However personal awareness does not necessarily always directly relate to the world. Awareness is its own realm, often formless and not understood. A large area of awareness is engaged with culture. Relatively passive participation with culture generates much experience, sometimes intense. Someone reading a book or viewing video looks like they aren't doing much, but we know they could be experiencing much. Someone's personal awareness is not observable by others. Even if they communicate it would probably be a very little of their experience. They might say that was a great book or wonderful movie. But we would know almost nothing from that. Thus others awareness will almost always be almost totally unknown. Mostly we can at best know our own experience and awareness. But it is still so that communities of awareness exist. Although we can't observe individuals' awareness we can observe common cultural work they participate with. We can observe a little common patterns of participation. At next class I will talk more about the awareness community of Our Divine Mother that develops in Oakport. Until next time may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos greatly bless you!

Hello, my name is Donna and welcome to Wednesday evening class. The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos - volume one - has 5 stories that are interrelated. The first story is titled Oakport but Oakport is also the title of the group of 5 stories. In the town of Oakport are the chapels of Our Divine Mother. It is there that people discover awareness of Our Divine Mother. Although everyone's awareness is personal, there is some mysterious belonging to an inchoate awareness community of Our Divine Mother. But the chapels are not a church. There is no church service, no liturgy, no theology, no belief system, nothing that can be observed that indicates much about the community. No one even knows who belongs to it or even if it exists. But there are some indicators it exists. Mary Coultier is a key person in this community. People who get a chance to sit at her table for a few minutes at the cafe Fantastique experience some degree of heightened spiritual awareness. It is more than what she says to someone after some moments of prayer, it is that she mysteriously communicates to the other some presence of the Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. The experience of being with her could alter a persons capacity for spiritual awareness. Some were more deeply affected than others. Most of them if they hadn't already visited would then start to visit the chapels of Our Divine Mother. Years before, it was at the chapels that Mary Coultier had discovered Our Divine Mother and by visiting often developed her unique high level spiritual awareness and capabilities.

Angelina Montebello starts something like a newsletter or a zine that later becomes a website that contains some people's descriptions of their experience with Mary Coultier or their experience at the chapels of Our Divine Mother or their awareness of Our Divine Mother. Probably she started this after having conversations with others who had such experiences. So another aspect of community is informal conversation among people with some common awareness. Although such conversation is usually among just a few friends or acquaintances, because each person has a slightly different set of people that they know with similar awareness, there is an unknown network of people who have shared some common awareness of Our Divine Mother. Angelina gathered more of these descriptions of personal experience than an individual would know about. This facilitates community awareness. The unknown existence of a community of different people's personal awareness becomes a little more known. For the community of Our Divine Mother in Oakport had nobody who was teacher or preacher who is responsible for creating the awareness community. Angelina however does write some articles that summarize some of the patterns of spiritual awareness of people in the community. She also writes some spiritual principles that seem common to others descriptions of their spiritual awareness. So in some ways Angelina goes beyond just gathering other peoples stories and being an editor of an informal publication and does some teaching.

What is portrayed in the story is not a recognizable religion. The awareness community is not described, it is implied. Different people's experience of Our Divine Mother is not much known. People's devotion to Her is shown as central to some people's lives , so it is implied their spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother is profound. But unless the reader has some personal experience of Our Divine Mother they would have no experiential knowledge of what the story is about.

People are in purgatory no matter if they understand that or not. Awareness develops mostly without understanding. So capacity for prayer can develop without knowing how. Suffering can force acceptance of helplessness which is close to acceptance of emptiness of self centeredness which allows awareness of what is beyond common awareness. Since in Oakport it became increasingly known that some people prayed to Our Divine Mother, people knew such prayer was possible. So when it became necessary to be open to prayer, it was natural for people to adopt prayer to Our Divine Mother. For some they might visit the chapels of Our Divine Mother when they were ready for a conversion experience, a personal revelation of Divine presence.

Not everyone is shy about talking about their conversion experience with others. So people outside of Oakport learned from friends or family about the possibility of prayer to Our Divine Mother and of visiting the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport. So over the years the awareness community of Our Divine Mother grew beyond Oakport. During the 21st century the informal publication of different peoples spiritual experience of Our Divine Mother became a website. Increasingly people who had no idea where Oakport was visited the website and were inspired to pray to Our Divine Mother. So the informal community of awareness of Our Divine Mother grew larger. But by that time a major development had started that would drastically coalesce some of the informal community into something more organized and observable. Until next time may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you greatly!

Hello my name is Donna and welcome to Tuesday afternoon class. So the story of Oakport implies a religion of Our Divine Mother but does not describe it. A religion is both the observable and the non observable. Scholars of religion can describe all that is observable about different religions but the academics might not have the personal experience of those who actually participate in the religious community. All of the doctrine of any religion is almost intolerable for most people to read who do not belong to that religion while many inside the religion can spend hours studying religious writing and commentary and discourse. Because they have spiritual awareness and experience of what they are reading! So without the experience extensive participation in religion is too difficult or impossible. People can perhaps tolerate an hour church service each week. But if people have a choice they usually avoid even that if they have no spiritual experience of the religion they had participated in usually because of family or community.

So reading spiritual writing doesn't generate spiritual experience unless someone is searching for spiritual experience from the writing. Someone unconsciously has a little spiritual awareness for them to even engage in spiritual search. Some writing might yield a little spiritual awareness but not enough, so the search goes on. Thus the process of spiritual search is a process of spiritual awareness development. The story of Oakport describes some people in their awareness development. Usually their story contains some suffering that is only solved for by discovery of prayer to Our Divine Mother. But a conversion story is not that simple. Because as I have previously talked about our awareness continually cycles through common awareness, suffering, acceptance of emptiness, and gaining grace. Thus people read conversion stories over and over. Some are within the Holy Scriptures of a religion and some are in devotional literature. Sometimes people give testimony about their conversion stories, perhaps at a church service, bible study, or even during conversations. So we can go through the cycle of transformation of awareness by engaging with other stories of such transformation. Often these are conversion stories but sometimes they are stories of transformation beyond conversion. And the ultimate story most of us are familiar with is the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

In the book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is the alternative myth of Divine Incarnation. Maria is born in Palestine 2000 years ago and is recognized by her family as Mariatheos or God. When, without ever having had intimacy with a man, She gives birth to Jesus he is also recognized as God. The myth briefly acknowledges Jesus' ministry and death and resurrection. The myth recognizes the diversity of early Christian communities and that some people worshipped Mariatheos. It suggests that Marian devotion within Christianity is very close to worship of Mariatheos. So the spiritual awareness community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is not totally separate from Christianity. We are distant relations so to speak. Fortunately some modern Christian Churches are very accepting of religious diversity even if many are not.

Some people will want to maintain their devotion to Jesus Christ after discovering Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as the source of all Life and Love. But some people might not have any devotion to Jesus. The community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is not Christian but can include Christians. Our community can have great diversity of personal spiritual awareness and yet we have a mysterious integration into the community of spiritual awareness from the Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

To be honest I do not know how this little spiritual school joins with other not known people who might be part of the spiritual community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Millions of people have devotion to Divine Mother both within Marian Christianity and outside of Christianity. But as far as I know there is no group of people who know Divine Mother as Mariatheos. So I believe this spiritual school is unique. In any case we are discovering spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos without concern about others in their great diversity of spiritual awareness. We have no choice but to journey forward without much knowledge of how our journey is part of the larger journey of everyone. Until next time, may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you greatly!

Hello, my name is Donna and welcome to Thursday afternoon class. Although acceptance of emptiness is prerequisite for capacity for grace, it is also true that the experience of grace even as a memory helps one accept emptiness. Both Grace and emptiness are necessary modalities of spiritual awareness. Both are interrelated and coexist even if experientially one modality is prominent at any moment. Thus capacity for emptiness and capacity for grace both develop within your purgatorial process of awareness development. Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is the Source of Grace; and the Great Void is what we incrementally gain capacity to accept by our acceptance of emptiness.

Reality includes duality. Life and death, presence and absence, existence and nonexistence, and God and not god. For us, Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and the Great Void. As many people know the foundational aspect to all computer language is one and zero. Out of infinite patterns of combinations of one and zero infinite amount of patterns can be created. one and zero correspond to an electrical switch being on or off. Computer technology has enabled the creation of incredibly complicated circuits incredibly small that can produce all of these vast patterns that we are so familiar with and so dependent on. To be blunt if humanity can do something so miraculous surely the vastly superior intelligence of Source of all Life can create the vast miracle of reality only a little of which we know of. But all this explanation is to illustrate that to accept duality is to accept reality.

To be simple, if we can accept duality, we can accept everything. This is not to say that you should accept to participate in anything. You have the right and the necessity to reject participation with that which conflicts with your well-being. This is about acceptance of the reality of anything. Thus it is one thing to say that you disapprove of something horrible but to say it doesn't exist is false. But it is not false to say that you don't want to think about it or even to avoid knowing about it. It is not false to try and make your life as life affirming as possible. But it is false to deny the existence of suffering or decay. Transcendence of suffering and decay is possible. Awareness of the abundance of life is possible and awareness of reality is possible. Unfortunately many of us have much less awareness of life than it might be possible for people to have. People can have much experience of the fullness of life. However going from a deficit to an abundance of awareness from life is often a long difficult journey of transformation.

We can not avoid living in much false awareness. Only very incremental decrease of false awareness is possible. So it is cruel as well as futile to try and force decrease of false awareness. Yes, it will decay in spite of your resistance; but that develops according to purpose that you can not much understand. Humility accepts that we are in purgatorial awareness development that is not self determined. So to some degree we can cooperate in the process but inevitably often enough we resist incremental transformation of our awareness, which is who we are. So it does little good to assume that you should know better; but unavoidably you will experientially learn what you might have already known. Because it is not conceptual awareness but deeper awareness development that is how we incrementally transform. Thus it might seem like an endless process, because it is. However some moments of spiritual experience are so elevated that certainty of being in eternal and universal life and love obliviates common awareness of time. Endless purgatory is subsumed by awareness from heaven. Thus we don't wait for the afterlife to experience heaven but in unforseen moments experience heaven. For Heaven is Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Our life is from Her and when we experientially know our eternal life, time is not relevant. However we recurringly have to go back into our purgatory which in moments is hell, and in moments seemingly eternal. Being human we are in a realm between heaven and hell. We need not concern ourselves with the afterlife because as long as we are human we can only know what comes into this realm. The reality of the spiritual realm can only be known to a limited degree.

Unfortunately our purgatorial path is difficult. But having been on it a while it is not possible to be somewhere else. For we are too far away from other communities of awareness for our participation in them to be possible. For some unknown purpose we are on this path while everyone else are on other numerous diverse paths. Acceptance of ignorance is necessary and is similar to acceptance of emptiness. We don't much understand the path we are on. Partly that is because it is a relatively new path. It is not an older larger well established spiritual awareness community that has a vast complex system of spiritual cultural knowledge.

It would be wonderful if we could continually experience love and life from our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Unfortunately we are on a long purgatorial pilgrimage towards Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and Her Life and Love! Fortunately we at times do experience such grace and are aware of Her reality. But because purgatory is so dominant in our experience, we have to accept our purpose is to be in purgatory! So perhaps other people much more than us experience being in God's grace; so it might seem that their path is better than ours. But we can not know others spiritual awareness. We can only know others spiritual rhetoric and rhetoric is not reality. But even if others experience more spiritual grace than we do, we have no choice about our spiritual path. And often a low level conviction of spiritual purpose is a subtle level of grace. So even if it is not experientially obvious, let me continue to say, until next time may our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you greatly!

Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos: Part Four

Hello my name is Donna and welcome to Monday evening class. We have observed how an informal awareness community of Our Divine Mother has developed in Oakport and outside of Oakport. Now we will focus on how an organized community develops. The cooperative community of Our Divine Mother develops in Omaha Nebraska however and not in Oakport. George Peterson who once was so inspired by the Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother that he committed himself to the creation of the chapels of Our Divine Mother, 12 years later also was inspired to help create a small town in the middle of westren Nebraska for a community of Our Divine Mother. Although seemingly a preposterous project, George was unusually open to Divine inspiration and unusually fortunate in having the financial resources to be instrumental in divine purpose. A new town is of course a much larger project than a set of chapels. Thus George's capacity for faith had to become larger over those dozen years. The cost of the chapels only partly reduced his inherited wealth. The cost of the new town would exceed his wealth. George was making an open commitment that he could not know what it would all involve. He could only proceed in the present and have faith he would be guided. Importantly this project would involve a growing number of other people sharing the responsibility for its development. The growth of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother corresponded to the progress of building New Oakport.

So after many years of growth of an amorphous awareness community of Our Divine Mother, some of it starts to coalesce into something more integrated and also observable. The project gathers support and enthusiasm from those in the informal community, and participation in the project grows. The eight people who camp out in two comfortable air stream trailers on the land to be bought for building of the new town, are the first of the cooperative community. It is there that they discover the general ideas that will guide the project as it develops. And they also discover a higher level of being in spiritual community that reveals their love for both each other and the community as it develops. They discover their capacity for spiritual love and wisdom that will enable them to guide others as they join the community.

Creation is from spiritual mind and spiritual forces. The community of Our Divine Mother that gathered in Omaha was an ongoing creation of Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. This included the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother and the New Oakport corporation which did its planning and architectural work mainly in Omaha, although New Oakport itself would be built in western Nebraska. It would take over a decade to build New Oakport and in that time the cooperative community was growing in Omaha. The cooperative was an elite spiritual community. It was difficult to join and many had no desire to do so. What was most obvious was what the participants had do without and the tedious nature of some of the work they did. They had to give up some degree of autonomy. They had to live in a group household and cooperate on the day to day routines of the household. They had to spend most of their time with the cooperative at the tasks necessary for the functioning of the cooperative both in Omaha and one day in New Oakport. Because someone could drop out of the cooperative at any time, staying would indicate it was not experientially intolerable. In fact it was mostly experientially joyful to some degree. They felt some love for each other and felt closer to Our Divine Mother. They felt that they had much spiritual purpose. And they had great anticipation for their eventual moving to New Oakport.

Many more people with spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother moved to Omaha than the number of people who joined the cooperative. Unavoidably the cooperative seemed like a cult to many people who were outside of it. But the satisfaction and joy of those in the cooperative enabled them to dismiss such judgment. However there were many people who were not in the cooperative who worked for the New Oakport corporation including people with no awareness of Our Divine Mother. But the cooperative owned the New Oakport corporation. Large donations from people with intense devotion to Our Divine Mother were given to the cooperative for the purpose of building New Oakport and supporting the cooperative. Many of the benefactors had not moved to Omaha but most probably had at one time visited the chapels of Our Divine Mother in Oakport. A religious community has a shared spiritual awareness that can motivate participation with a spiritual purpose. Perhaps some of the benefactors experienced judgement by close friends and family for contributing to something that seemed bizarre.

We have to accept that growth takes time. If we have arbitrary expectations about how growth develops we will be frustrated and disappointed. Conversely there might be at times faster growth than we expect. Creation is from beyond us even as we are participating in patterns of creation. Most observable was the growth of the physical structures of New Oakport for over a decade. The magazine of the community of Our Divine Mother was independent of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother and reported on the progress of the building of New Oakport. The magazine served all of the dispersed community of people who worshipped or had devotion to Our Divine Mother and was how many people discovered devotion to Our Divine Mother. And it was through the magazine that people were asked to donate to the cooperative and the building of New Oakport. The support of the larger informal community of Our Divine Mother was most necessary for the development of the cooperative and the building of New Oakport. Thus the cooperative and New Oakport were expressions of the larger community and not as distinct as it might seem.

Growth includes differences in personal awareness and even in community awareness. After the completion of New Oakport and the relocation of the cooperative community of Our Divine Mother from Omaha to western Nebraska, some of the larger community of Our Divine Mother still in Omaha starts to evolve. People start to join the gathering of Mariatheos. Ruth Tropicaila does some evangelization and tells people Our Divine Mother is the same as Mariatheos, Who is creator of all Life and Love. Worship of Mariatheos brings more intense awareness of and from Our Divine Mother. And at a gathering of Mariatheos this becomes experientially true for people. I can not explain why but this mysterious difference explains why we here are a small unknown group of people engaged in spiritual discovery. Although we can find inspiration from the many people who have devotion to Divine Mother in diverse ways, we are on our separate journey. Until next time, may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you greatly!

Hello, my name is Donna and welcome to Wednesday evening class. Previously we have looked at the 5 stories of Oakport. This evening I would like to look at the core story of the Book of Our Divine Mother and that is Myth of Fredonia. It is here we discover the origin of the community who worships Mariatheos, Mother of all Life and Love. Paul Fieldstone in the 4th story of Oakport discovers the Myth and adopts Mariatheos as the name of Our Divine Mother. Eventually he shares that divine knowledge with others in Omaha and that is how Ruth Tropicaila discovers Mariatheos. Anyway, the first person who discovers Mariatheos is a bishop of the orthodox Christian church in Constantinople approximately 1500 years ago. Christianity is dominant in the Roman Empire that remains in the east after it's collapse in much of the west. The devoutly religious bishop one evening has revealed to him during prayer the reality of Maria Who is God or Mariatheos. From then on prayer continues to confirm this revelation and he in turn is guided in his revelation of Mariatheos to others. There soon develops a secret community who at each others homes worship Mariatheos. After a large landlord from southeast Europe joins the community in Constantinople, he provides a refuge for the community to more feely, but not completely, participate in life and love from Mariatheos. In a few decades the community relocates again. This time to a valley high in the surrounding mountains. It is there they stay and evolve to become a community we know of as Fredonia.

Before looking at the near utopian land of Fredonia, let me talk about the journey of the community. The community starts in a major metropolis but finds its full flourishing in a remote area. This indicates a new way of knowing reality is going to conflict with the older but common way people know reality. For most new religious movements some coexistence with the dominant societal awareness is possible and necessary. However society evolves. So it is possible that over time the new religious movement can express more its awareness into the world. Although being in isolation allows the fullest expression of awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, isolation also insures there is no contribution of that awareness to the larger world. The Myth of Fredonia does describe patterns of life impossible to be adopted by people in contemporary society but they can inspire people not only in gaining awareness of Mariatheos, Mother of all Life and Love, but also in evolving patterns of life in the world closer to those described in the Myth.

The utopian community of Fredonia is briefly but fully described. They near continually experienced great love for each other and from their Mother of all Life, Mariatheos. Their awareness of being immersed in nature was one with being immersed in Life from Mariatheos. Similarly their experience of being immersed with others in community was one with being immersed in Love from Mariatheos. However there was no confusion of separate patterns of Life. A person was aware of being a human being and not a tree and aware of having personal existence and not the existence of another. So although awareness of self hood was little relative to awareness of household, community, nature, and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos; no one abandoned their self for a false merging with others. No one had lust for anyone. No one had self centered eros that seeks life from others. No one knew anything that is common in the hellish realm we live in. For Fredonia was as close to being in Heaven as is possible for us to imagine. And this is the great gift of the Myth of Fredonia. It can show us what heaven is like which can inspire us and guide us in our purgatorial journey out of Hell.

For over a millennia the people of Fredonia live in utopia isolated from and undisturbed by much much larger societies in the world which are very far from being utopian. But starting in the 18th century, spiritual forces slowly guided them out of their isolation and ignorance and eventually out of utopia. This is most dramatic when all of the people of Fredonia emigrate to America in the last quarter of the 19th century. But the decrease of utopian awareness begins to happen in the last decade of the 18th century when angels reveal to the community that it will be necessary for all of them to eventually leave their home. During the 19th century the people of Fredonia must change substantially. More patterns of life common to the world must be adopted. Obviously this requires the loss of patterns of life found in Fredonia for over a millennia. Also necessary were changes in awareness. Unfortunately experience of intensity of life and love must steadily decrease. Levels of distress slowly and unavoidably increased. Emotionally the people when they left Fredonia for their journey to America were ready to suffer the common patterns of distress inevitable by being in societies of the then modern world. Once in America their immigrant communities were not different than other immigrant communities. Their concerns were for survival and if possible economic gain. They had to balance inward community focus and desire to learn as much as possible about America and the modern world. The church of Fredonia was a support for the community. Some spiritual awareness is necessary in order to transcend a portion of common suffering of life in the world. So the community supported the church and beautiful churches were built in the beginning of 20th century. However the forces of assimilation and integration into the larger society were too powerful for a separate and distinct immigrant community to survive the 20th century. After world war two only the churches of Fredonia remained after the dispersal of those with Fredonian heritage within America.

The churches of Fredonia in about a dozen cities in Midwestern America had libraries containing the encyclopedia of Fredonia. By the middle of the 20th century all the churches had become women's monastic communities which had discontinued church services after their congregations shrank and the priests retired. But the women were reading the encyclopedia and finding inspiration from knowledge of what Fredonia was like before all the changes were made to conform to patterns of life common in society. They discovered that Fredonia was originally matriarchal and worshipped Mariatheos. Over years several women during personal prayer had revealed to them the reality of Mariatheos, Mother of all Life and Love. They advocated for abandoning the adoption of Orthodox Christianity in the 19th century by the church of Fredonia. And of adopting Mariatheos as the center of their religion. By the middle of the 1960's the church of Fredonia had completely transformed. They worshipped Mariatheos in a church service full of beautiful music and singing. The clergy were women. Slowly over the years women with no Fredonian heritage discovered and joined the church.

What can we do if presented with a model of utopia such as Fredonia previous to the 19th century? It is easy to dismiss it as impossible in the real world. But if we accept that utopia is superior to the world as it is, then we might reject the world as God. The worship of Mariatheos was central to the utopian community of Fredonia. It is possible that worship of Mariatheos can be central for us. Although Our Divine Mother Mariatheos can not give us an utopian community in the world to live in, we have the opportunity to discover a community of awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Modern society allows an incredible diversity of awareness communities to exist. Not much stops us except the persistence of habitatual patterns of awareness. So we have to suffer through their gradual deconstruction. However the evolution of our awareness does lead to the evolution of our participation in the world. Some possible changes are a decrease in patterns of participation in the world that used to be compelling. It is possible new friendships are committed to. Maybe eventually a cooperative small business might be possible or a cooperative group household. However the spiritual awareness community from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos that is evolving has great purpose. Today it is small and obscure; but in the future it might be much larger and many more people could be experiencing much life and love from their Mother Mariatheos.

As we become a little open to the love from heaven as portrayed in stories of utopia, unfortunately we also become open to awareness of existential grief of separation from Her Love. Thus we must accept the Great Void. Although patterns of awareness of separateness are ultimately false, they dissolve by the acceptance of emptiness. After enough false awareness becomes empty there develops capacity for awareness of eternal universal life and love from Mother Mariatheos. Unfortunately the limitations are within our selves. Only incremental transformation of your habitual common patterns of awareness of your self in the world will allow incremental increase of capacity for awareness from Holy Spirit from Mother Mariatheos. So unfortunately too often Her Love is experientially not much available. However there is often some experience of low level grace that encourages us to stay on the path to Her Glory! Thank you all for being here week after week as we journey together on this spiritual pilgrimage. Until next time, may Our Divine Mother of all Life and Love Mariatheos bless you greatly!

Hello, my name is Donna, and welcome to Tuesday afternoon class. Let me acknowledge that some people have recently joined our spiritual school. I am grateful that recent students are willing to enter in the middle of ongoing talks and tolerate some inevitable confusion. But everything that is important I tend to mention again and again. The most important realizations develop in personal contemplation and prayer. Your real teacher is Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

A spiritual path is really indistinguishable from your moment to moment awareness and all of your experience. It is the path of your life and of your continual awareness development. Mostly you suffer confusion and frustration if you try and understand much about your life or your awareness. What I talk about are not beliefs that you must adopt but alternative perspectives for you to consider. If your awareness development evolves everything contributes to that and my part is relatively small. You all have spiritual guides even if you are not conscious of it. Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is responsible for how you evolve so as to become closer to Her. Mariatheos is creating a new way of human life in the world. But such creation takes time, it takes countless incremental transformations of people's awareness and participation with each other. The utopian communities of New Oakport and Fredonia indicate the possibilities for our evolution of human community. We can not know the future but our hopes help provide motivation for acceptance of the mystery of our slow evolution.

Characteristic of change is the coexistence of what is decreasing and what is in growth. What is in growth changes and evolves so we can't necessarily recognize what is in growth or understand much about it. Even that which is decreasing changes. Some things that look like they are in growth are really new versions of older patterns, and the new might not persist as long as anticipated. By observation we can know very little and our understanding might be false. To rely on our own awareness of what is true and ignore much of what is observable in the world is what can give us some experiential certainty even if others might judge us as foolish. Our faith becomes more important than knowledge of the world.

Acceptance of ignorance allows awareness without the futile need for understanding. A lot of understanding is false and yields false certainty. Unless an understanding is confirmed by direct participation with the part of reality being understood, our understanding might be false. Reality is not the same as confirmation by others. Large groups of people and even institutions can share the same false understanding. Most false certainty is about reality we can not confirm by direct participation. This can be about neighbors or government or the economy or other nations or the spiritual realms. Patterns of experience can be confirmed by false certainty and false understanding as long as reality does not require one's participation. Because the decay of false certainty and false understanding yields distress, people will resist that unless there is something experiential that can displace the need for what is false. This is what faith and grace provide. Faith in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos can more than compensate for the decrease of false certainty and false understanding of reality! Grace we experience allows us to accept our ignorance. In fact without the continual need to understand we can enjoy life in the world without constant internal commentary.

Most assumptions are not tested by reality and such tests might not be possible. However during contemplation it is possible that some of your assumptions might start to gradually partially disintegrate. For us Holy Spirit from Mariatheos might be especially tenacious in decreasing the vast amount of intertwined false awareness that we have. At the same time that you suffer deconstruction of patterns of false awareness , there is growth and development of new patterns of awareness from Holy Spirit from Mother Mariatheos. Your prayer is focused openness to spiritual awareness and does not necessarily need interior words of prayer. Obviously you can use words and whatever ones you want.

It could be realized that many of the assumptions about love, relationship, marriage, family, companionship, sexuality, romance, are all false. It might be necessary for you to become empty of the need for much of what you have assumed is necessary for happiness. The difficult way to become disillusioned is to experience chronic frustration in attaining what you want or to experience the absence of happiness from attaining what you want. Some people have some degree of happiness in attaining romantic relationships or marriage or family. So this teaching doesn't apply to them. But it is true for many people. For us there is the opportunity for a completely different orientation for seeking happiness. Paradoxically having this new orientation might allow acceptance of chronic distress (of different levels of intensity) as we suffer the purgatorial decrease of extensive complex patterns of false awareness. Even a low level of experiential grace might be enough if we have faith in slowly becoming closer to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, closer to being immersed in universal eternal Life and Love from our Mother Mariatheos.

Even a little experience of eternal universal life and love from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is greater than any human love. Even if human love is at times experientially intense, that is inextricably joined with suffering of equal intensity. This principle is learned through the purgatory of every day life year after year. It is because purgatory gives us ample time for contemplation it is possible to remember both extremes of our experience, but it is also necessary for the development of some insight, some realizations about our life in the world. There are diverse teachings that give context to the drama of our life in the world and most of them are psychological of some kind. It doesn't matter if they contain some degree of false understanding because their main value is to provide a scaffolding separate from your drama so you can observe it and eventually accept its deconstruction. So I avoid giving much psychological explanation about what is false. It is your job to learn what you need to so as to accept the decrease of what is false. You can't force the process but you can't avoid it either. It is Holy Spirit that is intimately involved in your purgatorial process of transformation of your life. Until next time, may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you all greatly!

Hello, my name is Donna and welcome to Thursday afternoon class. Thank you all who have attended this spiritual school. You are the beginning of the community of our Mother Mariatheos in the world. Over years this community will grow and develop in unknown ways. Its contribution to the world is not known. We do not need to know if we have faith significant enough so that grace displaces awareness of the world from being significant. We can marvel at the world as a vast complex result of creation that we can not understand. We can know original source of all life as Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, but we can not know how all of the patterns of life have been created. We can not know the spiritual forces of creation. The most I can understand is through some conjecture; so it is best to have no understanding, but some speculation can be helpful in the acceptance of forces we can not know directly but know exist from what we can observe in the resultant realm.

The spiritual realm is only very little known directly within your personal experience. There are countless books describing the spiritual realm but they differ considerably from each other. Obviously there are readers for such books. However I can't teach anything similar. What I can say is that the spiritual realm must be more vast, complex, and dynamic than the observable resultant realm. We should avoid mistaking our ignorance of spiritual reality for absence of reality of spiritual mind and spiritual forces and spiritual beings. What we do not know very much exists. We can greatly value what we do know by faith and grace. We are gifted with some awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, and we do not need to know anything about the forces of creation.

Our level of capacity for cooperation with each other will correspond to our level of capacity for divine love. For it is out of the love we have from Mother Mariatheos that we are able to participate without seeking gain from others. Such cooperation would have divine purpose which is to create community from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. We can not know how this will develop. Our capacity for community awareness and participation increases slowly, gradually and purgatorially. Continual incremental transformation of our severe limitations is necessary. So we can not yet know what we will become. Noticeably our numbers are slowly increasing and some of you are helping others who have more recently joined us.

It is possible that group households and cooperative businesses will form from people in this spiritual community. Obviously such places would require significant levels of capacity for love and cooperation, and they would be intensive schools revealing remaining limitations. Each of you is being guided by Holy Spirit from Mother Mariatheos and that would also be especially true for any group that forms from inspiration and motivation from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. So we can not know the future but we can have great hope. A lot of the work we do is tedious, even grueling, as we become aware of our limitations and extensive patterns of false awareness. What is false has a purpose, everything that has been created has had purpose; but it is also of purpose for archaic patterns of awareness and participation to decay. Decay is distressful, ugly, even horrible. We can accept decay if we can accept the Great Void, if we can accept emptiness of patterns of existence we have falsely assumed would persist forever. It is really not an exaggeration that all of past civilization is in decay. Coexistent is growth of future civilization. So not much can be understood. It is possible to have faith that Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is transforming the world. You can find evidence for hope in many diverse places. We can mostly only know our little world and that is where our awareness experiences transformation.

We are part of the vast transformation of society from what is archaic to what is evolving. We can only know very little of this except for our own awareness. Whatever you learn is important but it's important to recognize you can know very little. However vastly larger spiritual mind knows all of us. The great diversity of human knowledge in total is still only a little relative to universal mind, which for us is the mind of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

You can have faith that your specific patterns of knowledge develop from purpose of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Every one is different and their purpose is different. You can learn from others but others don't determine your purpose. Community has a shared purpose but how each of you contributes must be from some degree of autonomy. Although I have faith in the development of a community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, I have no idea how it will evolve.

The community of people who have been attending this spiritual school are the beginning of a community of Mother Mariatheos in the world. How it will evolve I have no idea. Each of you is part of it and each of you makes a different contribution even if it not observable. So let me thank you all for being here. Until next time, may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you greatly!

23 Meandering Thoughts about Mariatheos

The future is not known.

However it is possible that communities of spiritual awareness of

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos

will grow over years and decades.

As people develop more awareness from the

Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos

they will communicate some of their awareness to others.

Thus slowly and organically what is now totally obscure will grow,

and it is not possible to know now what will develop.

Faith does not need to know what is not possible to be known.

Although it is not possible to know much about society it is often obvious people suffer much alienation. Because it is impossible to change others and either difficult or impossible to change oneself, it might be the only available option is to discover transcendence of both oneself and the world. This is spiritual awareness. There is an abundance of available religious and spiritual teachings and even communities of people that offer ways to attain such transcendent awareness. However what path one takes is perhaps not a choice or a choice not much understood. It might be a path one walks mostly alone.

Although the church of Mariatheos does not yet exist, prayer to Mariatheos is possible.

However much habitual awareness blocks one's capacity for prayer. The decrease of such patterns of awareness is not of one's ability to to choose. Because it is self awareness that blocks such transformation. So unfortunately the self suffers persistently until the self begins to disintegrate. This suffering might be most of our experience. Thus it might not look like one is being blessed having to suffer such purgatorial experience much of the time. Much of the time it might not seem that God loves us. It is only tenuous faith, faint memory of past purgatorial cycles, that allows us to accept our suffering and have hope for eventual delivery from it.

The end of the world as we know it; indicates the beginning of an as of yet not known world.

I believe humanity might eventually shift to matriarchal civilization. This might include traditional masculinity but in service to matriarchal community. But it would also allow other kinds of service to community by men. But the amount of oppression, conflict, contradictions, distortions of awareness of reality, and alienation; that are the legacy of 6000 years of patriarchal civilization; can not be solved for without the growth of matriarchal community as the basis for future civilization.

There is a very deep paradox: spiritual culture (myth, religion, spiritual philosophy, poetry, liturgy, etc) is very diverse; spiritual culture is metaphorical. But the not known spiritual reality communicated by metaphorical spiritual culture is very real; and it is false to deny reality because it is known via what might seem arbitrary cultural representation.

Mariatheos.

Some of the people who know me might be annoyed that I am so focused on Mariatheos.

So I am going to try and justify my devotion.

I was taught from an early age that there was no god.

It took me many decades to discover that is false.

However some religious understanding is also false to some degree.

It has been a very long process of discovery that gave me an understanding of the metaphorical nature of religion. Metaphorical awareness is crucial to how we understand the most important aspects of our reality. Secular understanding is just as metaphorical as religious, especially in everything that applies to being human. Often people assume that their understanding is not metaphorical, that their understanding is real and all others are false. Obviously this yields conflict and judgment.

For me just as important as my discovery of Mariatheos as Deity,

was the discovery of emptiness. Buddhism has the most teaching about emptiness but it is not necessary to be Buddhist to discover emptiness. With enough contemplation, some observation of experience and detachment from experience, discovery of emptiness of experience is possible. For me at times gain of emptiness is filled with grace. Grace is often felt as being given from beyond self. Source of Grace can be known as Deity. De facto humanity has a multiplicity of Deities and if respect is given to all religions in the world, this implies a de facto polytheism. Your Deity is Original Source, but other people's Deities are also Original Source. If paradox is accepted, if transcendence of the limitations of either/or thinking is possible, then it is possible to have awareness of all Deities as universal. However usually a person has devotion to their Deity for awareness of Original Source.

Worship of God as Mother is very different from worship of God as Father or Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Worship of God is not only spiritual but importantly it is also inherently psychological. Worship and prayer is intertwined with the whole of a persons awareness even if it seems the individual is not obviously spiritual or religious. Thus the awareness of a person who worships God as Father and Son is going to be different from the awareness of a person who worships God as Mother. Awareness of their self and of others will be different.

Some people more than others suffer grief so intense and persistent that it could be realized that they suffer from existential grief. Existential grief is fundamentally separation from unity with Source of Life. Since Life equals Love, Existential grief is absence of Universal Love. Since the most fundamental human love is that of mother and child, experience of Divine Love must surpass that. Our Divine Mother or Mariatheos is Mother of All Life and Love. If a person has capacity for experience from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos then at least for a moment they can be healed from existential grief. In actuality we are in a purgatorial process of incrementally growing in capacity for such Divine Grace. Thus experience of existential grief will be recurring; but also recurring will be experience of Divine Grace, Life and Love. The purgatorial journey is often distressful. Habitual and deep foundational patterns of human awareness have intrinsic assumptions of our separation from Universal Eternal Life and Love. Especially our conviction we are a biological organism that unavoidably at some point dies. A spiritual idea is not enough to free us from our false awareness. However false awareness incrementally decreases. We can incrementally become closer to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Our experience is often some degree of hell. At times intense and at others relatively mild. Purgatory is the incremental process of transformation of awareness in hell to awareness of heaven. Since this is a lifetime process experientially we are in eternal purgatory. Thus everyone's experience of purgatory is different. Some experience less suffering than others. But our lives are given to us by not known forces of creation.

So since we have whatever life we have, we have to journey from where we are, not from a fantasy of where we are. Mother of All Life and Love has to slowly bring us out of hell through our long purgatory. It does not disprove Her Reality that our lives are still far from where we wish they were.

The religion of Mariatheos does not yet exist in the world.

A community of people with much spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos are those who create the religion of Mariatheos.

Communication about Mariatheos is not religious community.

Both the community and religion of Mariatheos will only develop if there are people who know Mariatheos Mother of All Life and Love!

The religion of Mariatheos does not yet exist.

Although there are stories that portray the Church of Mariatheos,

they are at best inspirational. At this time there is no way to know if a church of Mariatheos will ever exist in the world.

However personal prayer to Mariatheos does not require a church to exist in the world.

Eventually if enough people have enough spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos then a church of Mariatheos might develop in the world.

It is difficult to accept that a religion that does not yet exist has more to contribute to your spiritual awareness development than religion that is so large that millions testify of its great contribution to their spiritual awareness development. It is only because some people are on spiritual search that they might consider discovery of alternative ways to know Source of All Life and Love. Spiritual search has motivation from deep within one's awareness and is guided by mysterious spiritual forces.

The following statement will be disliked by many people:

Romantic love conflicts with holiness. Love from Holy Spirit is very different from love within a romantic relationship. If people are focused on the hope of attaining romantic love they will not be focused on attaining Love from the Source of All Life and Love.

Thus Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, Mother of All Life and Love, is only experientially real if we shift our focus from seeking gain from other people to seeking grace from the Source of Life. If we seek spiritual grace we are willing to give up the foundational orientation of our awareness towards world. If in effect the world is god we will not be able to find god. God can be known as Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Although traditional religion is fulfilling for millions of people, for whatever reasons many people are not inspired by traditional religion. Religious innovation is part of the history of religion. Some new religious movements of the past have grown over time to become large religious communities such as Mormons and Jehovah Witness. Many smaller religious communities coexist in the world. There must be some Divine purpose for religious and spiritual diversity. It is possible to both accept this diversity and focus on one's own specific spiritual culture. However during a time of spiritual search some engagement with different religious or spiritual awareness might be necessary. Ultimately our spiritual journey is guided by the spiritual realm.

The world is vast, complex and always evolving. Although it is normal to try and understand the world, upon reflection it should be obvious that is not possible. All the systems of understanding the world are diverse and conflict with each other. Being immersed in any system of understanding obscures our inherent ignorance. It is difficult to accept that one's system of understanding is mostly false. However transcendent awareness reveals that our awareness of both self and the world has been mostly false.

Thus wisdom accepts the simplicity of religious belief and spiritual focus as superior to complex understanding of the world that is mostly futile.

If people accept that they are mostly powerless in the world, then it is possible to have some transcendent awareness; perhaps grace from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

It is difficult to believe in Mariatheos if one is convinced that the world is all of reality. Fundamental assumptions about reality are deep and generate our emotions and thoughts. So it is not possible to change our foundational awareness by thought alone. Thus spiritual realization is a mysterious development.

Often enough people experience emotional distress within the family and within close relationships. Children as well as adults might not be able to change their domestic circumstance. Even if domestic circumstance changes for the better, often people are psychologically burdened for a long time. Many people discover some sort of spiritual awareness development is necessary for some degree of healing. This is a process that can continue for the rest of their lives. Although it might be necessary for a person for some time to blame others, at some point it might be necessary to realize suffering is an aspect of being human. Especially if someone realizes they have caused suffering as well as suffered.

Spiritual awareness is healing because it is transcendent of common human awareness that is so limited it can be trapped in persistent suffering. Spiritual grace can be experienced by some awareness of Source of eternal universal Life and Love. Unfortunately human awareness is often blocked from such awareness. The Sun is the Source of light and heat for the earth continually. But the earth has half of its surface facing away from the sun. Because the earth rotates all of the earth experiences cycles of day and night. No one escapes the cycles of awareness of Universal Source and absence of such awareness. But if we have some capacity our awareness of eternal universal Life and Love can grow. And perhaps contribute to others development of such capacity.

Many people are not happy with modern society. Although often the focus is on stagnant levels of income for most people, there are so many persistent problems in society that it is false to focus just on economics, and it is probably false to expect any significant increase in wide spread prosperity. Although real solutions to societal problems are not available, many people have strong opinions about what should happen. Thus social and political argument goes on for decades without much that changes in society that benefits everyone.

For some people disillusionment with the world motivates spiritual search. Which is really an interior process of awareness development. Because spiritual awareness intertwines with all personal awareness, the evolution of awareness can produce confusion and discomfort. Thus the process is gradual as patterns of awareness decay, reintegrate, and grow. Religion does not necessarily generate such obvious benefit that people will observe the religious and adopt religion with enthusiasm. Rather it is an interior contemplation perhaps engaged in at random times. Because there is a diversity of religion and spiritual teachings available, each persons spiritual search will be motivated by personal sense of what is true but also by fate. There is so much spiritual and religious communication available that what is discovered by someone might seem accidental.

People are often less than satisfied with the religion that they grew up in. This might motivate spiritual search. Spiritual search can be a long journey that engages with many different spiritual communities and teachings. The Church of Mariatheos is a very small spiritual awareness community. But hopefully it could be a contribution to your spiritual search.

We are in the middle of a transition to what we can not now know. We can look at the past and see how much has changed. We can look at what exists now and not much understand it. Much just seems to be decay and even chaos. Obviously life goes on and society continues while also slowly evolving. Many have hopes but some have despair about the future. The future is always uncertain and not known, even if in the near term there is a high probability that certain familiar patterns will continue.

Faith is what allows some acceptance of uncertainty.

Faith might even provide hope for the future.

Developing capacity for faith might require spiritual search.

Spiritual search might lead some people to

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, Mother of All Life and Love.

The world will resist awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Such Divine Awareness conflicts with most of our habitual self awareness and our habitual awareness of the world and of reality. Relative to awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother, our common habitual awareness no matter how sophisticated is false. Usually people resist the realization that their awareness has been false. However at times such awareness is not avoidable. False awareness eventually conflicts with reality even if almost everyone is in agreement. Decay within society indicates its commonly held knowledge is to some degree false. It is not necessarily oppression or exploitation by the powerful that is the cause of decay in society. The limitations of capacity for cooperation results in those who have more responsibility also having more opportunity for self gain.

But everyone has their limitations of capacity for cooperation. Often past suffering from relationship with others or participation in oppressive community damages a persons ability to participate. People who are more functional are not necessarily able to help others who are less functional. Not even those whose job it is to help people are able to do much.

Thus the limitations of the world are similar to the limitations of people. Although people have the tendency to blame others for the problems of the world, this is not only false but futile. So when we give up on our self and the world, there is nowhere else to go but beyond the world. This is the realm of spirituality and religion. We can focus on spiritual sources for grace and transcendence of the world.

Although it is really not possible to understand causal forces fortunately it is possible to gain capacity for spiritual grace. Some people discover the source of spiritual grace is Divine Manifestation of Original Source, in other words God. A religion has agreement on Who the Divine manifestation of God is. In Christianity God is a Trinity: Father, Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ. In the church of Mariatheos, God is Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and for some people also Jesus Christ. Ultimately it is only within personal awareness that awareness of God exists.

Since we are ignorant about the forces of creation how is it possible to have faith in a Deity Who is also Original Source? This might require some wisdom about awareness. All we have is awareness. Nothing can be known or experienced outside of our awareness. Awareness includes understanding. Understanding is a modality of awareness. Thus we can understand that there is vast reality outside of our awareness. But anything that we know is within our awareness. Thus it is possible to have awareness from Original Source Who manifests as Deity. We can not know Deity and Original Source beyond our awareness. So it is wise to have humility about whatever spiritual awareness that we do have. Conversely whatever spiritual awareness others have is not necessarily relevant to one's own. However a community can have some common spiritual awareness. Often that includes a common spiritual culture and understanding. The church of Mariatheos is not yet a community with a common spiritual culture. It is not yet a church in the world.

Society is continually evolving. But often what is obvious is the conflict of different communities of awareness with each other. Somehow these conflicts contribute to the evolution of society. Because it is almost impossible to have much awareness of all the diverse communities of awareness that exist in society, knowledge of society is not really possible. What we know is our very limited knowledge of the world and assume it is accurate. But upon reflection it should be obvious our ignorance is vast.

Thus denial of our ignorance allows us to have the assumption that our very limited knowledge is knowledge of reality. Acknowledgement of our ignorance forces acceptance of humility. Humility allows faith in not known causal reality. We can not possibly know how everything that exists has been created. Stories about creation whether secular or religious or spiritual are metaphorical. Secular stories are so incomplete that to take them as comprehensive is an act of faith. A creation story can provide some satisfaction; however if people have different creation stories then they might be in conflict. Thus the ability to accept the mystery of creation transcends attachment to any story of the creation of the world.

Original Source has been creating new religious movements for all of time. Many have been within one of the great faith traditions and have so significantly differed that they have been in conflict. However many new religious movements have only had a limited relationship with a larger faith tradition. The Church of Mariatheos is not yet a new religious movement because there is not yet a community of the faith. But the church of Mariatheos has spiritual culture in the form of stories and discourse. The spiritual culture of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is most inspired by the faith tradition of Marian Christianity. However the new church elevates Marian devotion to worship Maria as God, or Mariatheos. Mariatheos is primary Deity and Her Holy Spirit is what both inspires and transforms our awareness, our awareness of spiritual reality as well as our awareness of our self in the world.

The Church of Mariatheos is not yet a church in the world. It has the potential for development of a community that has great faith in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Until then it is the very dispersed and limited spiritual awareness of different people who have some and hopefully growing experience of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

It is Holy Spirit from Mariatheos Who has direct communication with people in their development of spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother. Any communication from other people is way less important in a person's spiritual awareness development. Some such communication might be a small contribution.

Hopefully eventually some people will develop much spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Perhaps a few might have the inspiration to communicate to others. Only then will there be the beginning of a community that can share in Love and Life from

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

Eventually it becomes evident that trying to gain anything for our self is futile. No matter what it might be that we might want. Career, relationship, money, knowledge, status, or even spiritual awareness. Either we can not get what we want or having attained something it proves a disappointment. At some point we despair of our self in the world. We might hate our self or hate the world or both.

However being in despair, being without hope, can be a state that allows for transformation of our awareness. For despair forces detachment from deeply held assumptions about who we are, what we want, what is necessary for happiness, or even how to be spiritual. It is while in despair that it is easier to surrender our life to Source of All Life, to realize not only are we helpless and powerless, but that it has been false to assume that we were causal of our life.

It does not much matter how we know Source of All Life, but mostly it depends on one's religion. In the modern world there is more choice as to religious awareness. But even that choice might be from not known causality. In effect the Deity you worship chooses you. They reveal Their Reality to you.

All the available writing about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos

has purpose for helping people discover Her!

For you to discover if She is your Mother of All Life and Love!!

-an allegorical very short story-

There are a thousand people hiking for many months in the woods on many trails not necessarily knowing where they are going. Some have been hiking through the forest longer than others. Some might be on the same path but in different places and not able to see the others. The paths are winding and intersect so it's possible to travel on different paths at different times. But these thousand people are all being guided by not visible guides who know their destination.

One by one they arrive on a large wide top of a hill. By that time they know the purpose of their individual journeys, and that is to build a community to live in that is better than the society they had lived in before. Their time in the woods changed them. They let go of their past assumptions about how to live and they gained the capacity, motivation, and inspiration to live in community closer to the utopian. They gained the wisdom and the capacity to cooperate and contribute to the development of the community. They no longer longed for patterns of life in society which were assumed to generate happiness. Most people never attained such a life and some who had attained it became disillusioned. But failing to attain it is not the same as not desiring it. For life in the new community requires freely chosen cooperation. If the patterns of life in society were still desired, people in their freedom would try and shape new patterns of life towards the ways of the past. The guides of the new community could not let people reach the place where the new community would develop until people were ready. A few people who thought they were heading to the new community found themselves on paths that led back to society.

Our personal spiritual awareness development is very slow because it is so complex. Spiritual awareness is an aspect of all of our awareness. Much of awareness is deeply rooted, unconscious, and not understood. Even our self is only an aspect of our total awareness. Thus the self is relatively powerless. For some people that is more obvious than it is for others. So some of us turn our lives over to the highest spiritual source we know. Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is available for you to turn your life over to. But only if you have enough awareness of Her and you have enough faith in Her that you can trust Her. For life is unavoidably purgatorial and at times experientially distressful. Much of the time faith is not experienced. Thus Our relationship with Our Divine Mother will not be experientially joyful much of the time. Sometimes we will experience grace but much of our habitual common awareness of our self and of the world blocks or limits awareness of life and love from Our Divine Mother. Purgatory is not avoidable and we must discover the patterns of false awareness that limit capacity for Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Because we live in society we also live within the slow evolution of society. Although it is not possible to know the future, the future arrives each day. What was once the unknown future becomes history over time. We were all once younger and our personal history might have developed unforseen by our younger self.

Thus what now seems improbable could develop in the future. Although some women are devoting much focus on egalitarian matriarchal community, their work is mostly not known. Most people would think it impossible because it would be so different from what is familiar. But change happens incrementally. How women participate in society is now significantly different from what it was 50 years ago.

However what facilitates substantial changes in both awareness and participation is discovery of new spiritual awareness. Evolved levels of spiritual awareness generate changes in cultural, social, psychological awareness and changes in awareness yield some changes in participation. Especially if evolved levels of spiritual awareness are within community. As with individuals, communities experience purgatorial development of community awareness and patterns of participation.

It used to be taken for granted that the church was the center of a community. However modern society has become increasingly secular and the cohesion of community has decayed substantially. These changes have been necessary and have opened up opportunities for people to become free of the limitations of archaic and to some degree oppressive communities. However much of value has been lost. There has been an increase in alienation and isolation. Decay of community also includes decay of family. It is not possible to restore past patterns of community or even family. Hopefully new patterns of community and family will evolve.

However it is important to discover new awareness of spiritual reality. For spiritual forces are much more causal than many people know. Traditional religion is to some degree archaic. Traditional religion was many centuries ago new and evolutionary. Although traditional religion is still a great source of inspiration for people, some of us are being pushed into new religious awareness. Matriarchal religion and matriarchal community are evolutionary. Divine Mother can be Source of healing Life and Love for individuals and also Source of community that fully nurtures people within community. Unfortunately at this time such community is only aspirational. We are in the difficult purgatorial transition from the archaic to the evolutionary.

Awareness can evolve. However sometimes the evolution of awareness is purgatorial. Archaic assumptions about reality are intertwined with how we know who we are. Thus transformation of awareness of our self in the world might seem like void of self. Thus as much as we hope for transformation we fear it and resist it.

Also patterns of awareness are dense. They are intertwined with foundational awareness of reality. We resist experience of the disintegration of our sense of reality. We of our self can not transform our awareness especially at a foundational level. It requires spiritual forces beyond our self to transform us. Usually this is a slow purgatorial process. Incrementally relatively limited patterns of awareness decrease and awareness of life and love increase.

However since Life and Love are universal, awareness of True Life and Love requires humility. Humility allows acceptance of reality especially human reality. Humility allows wisdom and wisdom reveals what is false.

Thus the growth of transformation of our self in the world will include the loss of what we might have assumed was necessary for happiness. The hope for human love might be revealed as false. Even past intense experience of romantic love will be revealed as false, as illusion. Similarly the hope for wealth might be revealed as false. The experience of luxury might be without satisfaction.

Faith can become the solution to our problems rather than trying to solve for them by human efforts and understanding. Such attempts are usually futile. Faith might simply be the ability to accept limitations of our self, others, and circumstance. Because wisdom reveals our satisfaction has much less to do with such limitations. Wisdom knows only our awareness of eternal life and love gives true satisfaction.

Hopefully you will become aware of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos,

Mother of All Life and Love!

Our ideas of what is utopian guides our awareness while we live within society most regard as far from utopian. Although these sets of utopian awareness are diverse and perhaps conflict with each other, to some degree they influence the evolution of society.

Within the stories about Our Divine Mother or Mariatheos there are some ideas about utopian community. These are not realistic but could inspire a different vision of society than what exists. Having such a vision can contribute to capacity for spiritual awareness transcendent of society. For living in society it is difficult to avoid the awareness that society is causal of our awareness and experience, of our understanding of reality. However whatever coherence societal awareness used to have, many have the sense that there is little consensus of awareness of reality. There is little hope that this fragmentation can be solved for. Pragmatically society can persist even if people have very different awareness of reality. Partly this is because machines do so much work that people have ability to focus on other than pragmatic necessity. Culture and spiritual awareness and secular knowledge does not necessarily have to be integrated with the pragmatic tasks of society.

Thus the evolution of society can not be known. It is not known which patterns that exist now will continue or decay or grow or how they might change. There are a huge amount of diverse spiritual culture and utopian visions in contemporary society. Hopefully the Church of Mariatheos can be a small contribution.

If a church of Mariatheos develops in the world it would be a matriarchal community. It is by worship of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos that men could accept matriarchal community. Experience of Divine Love would allow men to give up emotional dependence on women which would fortunately enable them to give up the perhaps barely conscious ways both subtle and overt that men try and control women. Conversely if women were fully supported by matriarchal community they could give up any dependence on men and thus be able to give up the perhaps barely conscious ways that women try and control men. The psychological conflicts men and women have with each other are a major aspect of alienation. Obviously men can have psychological conflict with other men and women can have psychological conflict with other women. It is all the mostly suppressed conflict people have with each other that entrenches alienation and lack of cooperation in community and society. Some people focus on the institutional patterns of society and assume reform agendas will improve the quality of life. But it is the existing conflicts in society that prevent reform agendas from being adopted or severely limit their benefit. In fact it is because of severe alienation and limited capacity for cooperation that insures that organizational and institutional patterns of participation are to various degrees coercive and exploitative. Major factors of subtle or obvious coercion are economic and legal. Countless rules and regulations are enforced by law. Property itself is defined and defended by law and the legal system. Economic rewards and economic needs motivate most employment. Business creation is mostly motivated by hope for economic reward as are most businesses decisions. Thus much of our participation in society follows complex patterns that we perhaps don't question but much of the barely conscious motivation to cooperate is fear of the consequences of not doing so.

There are other factors that shape participation in society. But it might just be that people have limited capacity for cooperation. Obviously cooperation exists but it is limited.

Spiritual awareness of Mariatheos does not require any awareness of Jesus Christ. However awareness of Jesus Christ is possible for those who have awareness of Mariatheos. No one needs give up their awareness of Jesus Christ. But many people do not have awareness of Jesus as Deity and are alienated from Christianity. For them awareness of Mariatheos as Deity is possible.

Also possible and perhaps necessary for some people is awareness of Emptiness. Buddhism teaches much about Emptiness but it is not necessary to be Buddhist to know Emptiness. Mindfulness is an almost secular way to develop some awareness beyond or detached from continual common habitual thought, emotion and sensation. Capacity for Emptiness can develop by contemplation, meditation, prayer, or just by moments of realization at anytime during any activity.

Development of capacity for prayer might require development of capacity for Emptiness.

It is not necessary to believe anything before engaging in prayer to Mariatheos. Most of the spiritual culture of a religion develops after a community discovers a new relationship to the Divine. Prayer is experiential and does not necessarily conform to any spiritual culture of the community. For some people the experience of Divine Mother conflicts with traditional religion. For millions of people experience of Divine Mother does not conflict with being Catholic or Eastern Orthodox. The little spiritual cultural communication available about Mariatheos is not necessary for people to have prayer to Divine Mother. And there is much diverse spiritual culture about Divine Mother that is not about Mariatheos.

It is important to have the capacity to know the metaphorical nature of myth and spiritual culture and the experiential reality of what myth and spiritual culture convey. Secular assumptions deny spiritual reality and religious fundamentalism denies the metaphorical nature of religion. Deity can be metaphorical or extremely and intensely real. Spiritual reality is active, alive, and gives myth and spiritual culture and religion to people. Deity is as fully source of all reality as the person has capacity to know. Thus it is our limitations of capacity to know Mariatheos Mother of All Life and Love that blocks awareness of Her being Source of Life and Love. That Mariatheos is a new revelation of Deity should not necessarily limit our awareness. Secular skepticism is easy and can justify our dismissal of the possibility of substantial evolution of our awareness. Traditional religion to various extent is archaic for many people and some people are open to new revelations.

Mariatheos is available as your Deity.

Deity is how people can relate to the unknowable original ultimate source of all. More so in the past most people could not accept the reality of any Deity outside of their own. In much of the world Jesus Christ is Deity or God. It is possible to retain prayer to and faith in Jesus and also have faith in and prayer to Mariatheos. A new myth of Divine incarnation could include both Mariatheos and Her Son Jesus Christ.

It is because spiritual reality is source of our reality that we can not know much about it. Visions and mystical knowledge might be given to people but that might be limited by the persistent relatively false awareness of self in the world. In other words Source of spiritual knowledge would have to shape what is given so as to conform somewhat with the existing awareness of the recipient. Thus religious cultures will gain spiritual knowledge via their mystics that corresponds to their existing awareness. Even significantly different visions and spiritual knowledge given to a mystic that so changes the basis for a spiritual cultural community that a schism occurs, would still have some commonality with what was previously known.

Prayer is personal. One's awareness of prayer might not be understood. Grace is often subtle and perhaps barely noticeable.

It is futile and foolish to try and prove the absolute reality of any religious or spiritual belief system. It is not foolish to offer any religious or spiritual set of understanding for consideration by people. For the detailed spiritual cultural understanding being communicated could convey the essence and mystery of spiritual awareness. Thus any of the diverse spiritual cultural understandings might convey such awareness even though they contradict each other. It is a mystery how different people discover the spiritual culture that most inspires them.

However it is not necessary to read anything about Mariatheos to discover Her. All one needs to do is pray to Mariatheos to experience Grace.

Reading might be helpful in decreasing limitations to capacity for such prayer.

For many people there is great uncertainty about the future of society. Since we live in society that uncertainty can not help but be distressful. Acceptance of uncertainty requires some sort of spiritual awareness, some transcendence of our awareness of the world. The spiritual is represented by metaphor, by language, by story. But it is a mistake to dismiss the reality behind metaphorical portrayal of spiritual reality even if the only experience of that reality is confusion or mystery. But it is also a mistake to accept the metaphorical portrayal as reality itself.

It is our experience that knows spiritual reality. There are no machines that detect spiritual reality as there are machines and electronic instruments that detect the vast invisible realms of the physical universe. Thus it might seem spiritual awareness is only psychological, and mostly it might not matter experientially if that is believed. However all beliefs are of the mind including beliefs about the mind. Thus all secular assumptions about being human are vulnerable to implosion if subject to enough contemplation.

There are millions of different religious and spiritual groups in world. There are millions of different religious and spiritual books and videos and other media. So why another different set of spiritual writing? Because inspiration and motivation are from beyond the person who is communicating. Somehow there is purpose to all the diverse communication and that includes each and every person communicating. Even if they communicate to very few people.

Awareness is both fragmented and integrated.

Understanding of awareness is necessarily problematic because understanding is only a part of awareness. Thus awareness is a mystery. And those who are best in their awareness are those who accept its mystery. Thus any insight is at best a contribution to acceptance of the mystery of our awareness of reality. Thus many realizations are going to seem perhaps paradoxical, self contradicting, mysterious, or strange. Past certainty might start to crumble as different awareness of reality develops. Attitudes and assumptions about reality are deeply emotional and we resist their decay as uncertainty is usually distressful. The certainty of faith is not necessarily easy to attain. But faith can have strong experiential certainty that needs not justify itself.

Thus unfortunately it is the purgatorial aspects of our awareness that are dominant. Everyday awareness is full of the mundane and sometimes the transcendent. It is the not much understood shifting back and forth that are the cycles of awareness development. Like wheels that spin countless times but enable the vehicle to travel a distance. But the only certain progress we know is time. Where we are going is often not known. Even where we have been might not be much understood. If we accept how little we know, it can be realized there are not known causal forces for our purgatorial existence. Humility allows faith in the ultimate benevolence of causality. It is faith that reconciles suffering in the world and the benevolence of Original Source. It is such faith that can experience love and life from Mariatheos Mother of All Life and Love, and also accept the vast limitations of life in the world and suffering in the world. Faith accepts this mostly can not be understood. Humility accepts the inherent ignorance of being human. Thus to deny the possibility of spiritual grace so as to maintain the false certainty of a secular understanding of reality might be possible for some people. However some levels of crisis are so intense that the limitations of false certainty are broken.

For whatever reasons, many people have rejected traditional religion. Many people who have traditional religion are also open to alternative spiritual awareness. There are diverse alternative spiritual ways of knowing. Defacto it is fate as to which religious or spiritual community has influence as to our development of personal spiritual awareness.

Mariatheos is an alternative way to know spiritual reality. Prayer to Mariatheos is possible. Mariatheos provides intimacy with Source of Life and Love. Unity with Mother of Life and Love.

However we may have limited capacity for such prayer.

Removal of our limitations to prayer is a purgatorial development of detachment from our common awareness of our self in the world. Often persistent patterns of awareness that block openness to love and life from Mariatheos. Unfortunately the decrease of our limitations is at times distressful. Our purgatory is necessary and not avoidable.

Thus it might be that experience of grace from Mariatheos is relatively brief.

But it is that experience of grace that reveals purpose for our purgatory.

Somehow our personal purgatorial spiritual awareness development interrelates with other people in their personal purgatorial spiritual awareness development.

If a community has prayer to the same way to know Original Source, the same Deity, then there can be some spiritual awareness community. If some people pray to Mariatheos then we have a community of spiritual awareness even if we do not know each other.

Acceptance of the subjective nature of spiritual awareness allows one to respond to the religion or spiritual group or spiritual teaching that is most compelling. And to ignore the claims of spiritual authority by any religious or spiritual community, which are sometimes made by clergy or preachers or spiritual teachers. The conflicts that religious communities have with each other and the conflicting claims of spiritual authority indicate the too common problem that many who are religious or spiritual have. And that is the inability to be fully immersed in one's religious or spiritual awareness and also acknowledge the validity of other religions or spiritual communities.

The diversity of religious and spiritual communities is vast. There are countless small communities that probably only a few people know about. And there are countless spiritual writers, some who are popular and some who almost no one knows of. Obviously almost no one knows about Mariatheos and even fewer have a prayer life focused on Mariatheos. However many people pray to Marry or Maria Mother of Jesus Christ. Most of them would not understand Her as God, but perhaps in the heart of prayer any theological doctrine is meaningless. There are many who do consider Mary or Maria as God. God who is Mother. Mariatheos means Maria who is God. Thus the name Mariatheos is explicit in communicating the idea of God as Mother Maria.

If religious and spiritual diversity is accepted, that decreases the attempt to gain absolute knowledge of spiritual reality. It becomes apparent that the quest for spiritual awareness is necessarily subjective. If humility is accepted, one can accept that one can never know more than a little. One can only gain a little more spiritual awareness than one had before. But if one is mostly in confusion then how does one learn what is not yet known? And if all spiritual teachings could be paths to greater spiritual knowledge, how does one choose? It might then be possible to accept the idea of not known spiritual guides, spiritual forces that guide us on our personal journeys of discovery.

Mariatheos Mother of All Life and Love.

It has taken decades to discover Mariatheos.

A lot has had to be learned and unlearned before it was possible to understand that it is possible to Worship Mariatheos. However it is not false to worship any other Deity or Name of God. It should be evident that different people know ultimate spiritual reality in many different ways. Within the same major world religion people worship and understand Original Source of Life in diverse ways. If there is acceptance of this great spiritual and religious diversity, then somehow all ways to know spiritual reality are true!

Meandering Thoughts about Mariatheos (2)

We are in the middle of the beginning of a massive transition of human civilization from patriarchal to matriarchal. This statement is made out of faith. Of course we don't know what the future will be like or how it will develop. We have a little knowledge of what has developed but not necessarily much understanding. We are mostly focused on contemporary circumstance. Everyone's specific circumstance is different and knowledge of others is limited. Thus people's understanding of contemporary society is different. People's understanding of the past is even more different. Since knowledge of the future is impossible what we have is speculation. We have different hopes and different fears about the future. Unavoidably all of this contributes to different political worldviews and different political agendas. However everyone to some degree has false awareness. Knowledge about contemporary society is limited, knowledge of history is even more limited, knowledge of other societies is very limited, and knowledge of the future is not possible. Yet we have to participate as best we can even if ignorant. So it is possible to participate from religious awareness without much concern for the world which is mostly not knowable. The massive world exists and evolves irrespective of any individual's choice. Conversely forces in the world determine much of people's lives without their choice or even much knowledge of what is happening to them. This includes spiritual forces. New religious movements gain participants even if from the outside they seem strange. At this time participation in established religious communities is decreasing. Participation in alternative spirituality is increasing; yet this is so diverse and so fluid and so private that it is not possible to understand much of all that is developing. So it is in this realm of alternative spirituality that much is evolving which is mostly obscure.

Because of many forces in the world it seems obvious that there will be much change in the world. But we have no idea what will develop. The forces of decay are more known than how people will adapt to those forces. Future innovation is not known and innovation is not limited to technology. All patterns of community have potential to evolve. To be perhaps overly hopeful, what seems utopian today might eventually evolve into existence. The technology of today would have been considered fantasy 200 years ago. But because of how much technology has changed it might seem less possible for other areas of human knowledge to change as dramatically. It might seem impossible that we could make as much progress in gaining the ability to cooperate, to attain love and happiness, to care for those who feel abandoned, to solve for alienation, and ironically in spite of how modern medical technology is, to solve for all the chronic illnesses that afflicts people. And the state of medicine gives a clue, scientific knowledge can be false and modern technology can be detrimental to life or without benefit to well-being. It must be remembered that much of technological progress has been geared to waging war. So without human progress in solving for conflict between human beings, technology alone will make little difference to human happiness. For lack of a better phrase, it is the soft realms of human awareness that are most important. We need to have wisdom about love. Love can mean many different things and can be incredibly selfish. We need to know what is nurturing and what is oppressive. We need to know what is a contribution and what is harmful. Thus both wisdom about love and capacity for love is much too limited for too many of us. So it is no wonder that the fantasy of love is explored in culture, as the reality of love in the world is limited.

If it is possible that in the future people could live in community closer to the utopian, it would be necessary for people in the future to be closer to holiness than they are now. Thus for people to have more of the quality of holiness they would have had to have changed from what they are now. This type of change is necessarily purgatorial! Since this is not something people want to accept, they might either assume it is impossible or have the false hope such change can be easy. Thus a lot of spiritual culture promises easy enlightenment or easily attained spiritual grace. And because there is some truth that Spiritual grace is a free gift requiring nothing from the recipient, people can ignore the fact that they are already in purgatory. Past purgatorial development might have generated the capacity for the openness to spiritual grace or some enlightened realization. However both grace and realization can dissipate with time. Yet because purgatory is inescapable, more capacity for grace and insight develops.

It is possible that society is entrenched in what is archaic. Since everything is interrelated and because so much is archaic, almost everything is suffering much decay. Thus problems are not being solved but persistent problems force new patterns of life that compensate for the decrease of older patterns of life. Society evolves but what is evolving is not necessarily observable to those not directly participating. What is evolving is in great diversity, and often in obscurity. It is that which either has large participation or has high status which is most observable and is most likely to be reported on by journalism.

If I can accept that I can not know more than a micro bit of what is in the world,

then I can realize that I don't need to know much of what is in the world.

I don't need to understand the world.

I don't even need to understand other people.

Emptiness of thought is easier to accept.

Without understanding, everything exists.

The older I get the less I know.

It becomes more apparent how vast, diverse, and complex the world is. Much too much to ever learn more than a micro fraction of. It also becomes more apparent any description of anything in the world is going to be very limited compared to personal participation in whatever is being described. Also any description will be as much about the person who is speaking or writing as it is about what they are describing.

As I have gotten older it becomes more apparent how much of discourse is filled with assumptions. If they are shared assumptions they are believed as real. But I guess I share fewer assumptions with others.

Having developed a worldview that perhaps no one else shares, unfortunately I don't believe any representation of reality by others. But I envy their participation in the world no matter what they believe is true. Thus everyone has life in the world. Somehow everybody mostly coexist. People who share the same worldview can talk endlessly with each other. They can affirm each other and disparage those with different worldviews. However a worldview even if shared by many people, can be easily dismissed by others who have different understandings of reality.

It becomes more and more apparent that we live in a realm of stories,

which are distinct from the reality they claim to be about.

Reality is mostly not known, but it suffices to know the stories;

and we live in the realm of stories no matter if some claim to be real.

But we don't really know!

Everything exists in the vast not known totality of all existence. Nothing is completely separate from larger realms of existence. To some degree separation is an illusion but each person is distinct. Unfortunately millions of people feel loneliness and alienation. Alienation and loneliness is not the fault of individuals; it is a result of the decay of traditional community. Society has evolved so that community has decayed. Institutions and organizations have grown as traditional community has decayed. Institutions and organizations incorporate individuals; in fact they are a form of community, but not necessarily a community that is emotionally satisfying. Unfortunately along with the decay of traditional community has been decay of family. Thus many children have suffered from some degree of neglect if not abuse. Blaming individuals is an easy and false understanding of the suffering people experience when family and community decays. Institutional and organizational response to people's emotional suffering is usually ineffective but is often the only help available. It is possible that people on an informal basis can help each other. It is also possible that individuals can discover spiritual help. This possibility is a source of hope. Because if enough people discover spiritual help they can also help others. Thus the source of hope for people in society is not necessarily established institutions and organizations, but is the aggregate of all mostly not known personal awareness development and informal community participation.

Everyone's spiritual path is different. Everyone has unique patterns of psyche as well as circumstance within which their awareness develops. For people who have a choice, different people are going to engage with different spiritual teachings that most seem to be helpful in their awareness development. So what is helpful for one person might not be helpful for another. People's disagreement with others about spiritual understanding is both futile and foolish. Thus any claim to exclusive spiritual truth is only useful for people in a specific spiritual community and is false for those outside of their community. This should be obvious but unfortunately is not. Some in alternative spiritual communities can be as lacking in acceptance of spiritual diversity as some people in traditional religious communities.

Trying to understand the world is a fools game!

There are a lot of fools and I have been one for a long time.

The world can not be understood. At best very very little.

Giving up on trying to understand is freedom!

Walking away from the wars of rhetoric is freedom!

Freedom to be without thought for some moments.

Freedom to enjoy something for a several moments.

Something right in front of you or outside the window.

But unfortunately freedom to notice the turmoil inside of you,

and everything that can arise from memory.

Be empty.

That pattern of awareness, be empty.

Any pattern of awareness, be empty.

Enjoyable pattern of awareness, when it changes be empty.

When grace fades, be empty!

The church of Mariatheos is at this time only a collection of ideas. However it is not possible to know how close to spiritual truth those ideas are. Only within personal awareness develops revelation of the truth of spiritual ideas. However this is often experienced with confusion, doubt, and frustration. Thus there is no spiritual certainty, because even experience of spiritual certainty will dissipate.

To be honest I know almost nothing about most of alternative spirituality. The church of Mariatheos is influenced by Buddhism but is mostly related to Christianity, especially Marian Christianity. The communication available from the church of Mariatheos is totally obscure in the ocean of both traditional religion and alternative spirituality. But no matter how micro the church of Mariatheos, it has some not known purpose. Just as everyone and everything has not known purpose.

Because the utopian patterns of community of the church of Mariatheos are so different from those of contemporary society, ironically that indicates how patterns of participation in society must decay so as to allow the evolution of patterns of community closer to the utopian. Unfortunately such decay generates much suffering. Because we do not yet live in community closer to the utopian, the only solution to suffering is spiritual awareness from beyond the world. Our faith in Deity such as Mariatheos can compensate for living in a world of limited and decaying community. However if a community of awareness from Holy Spirit of Mariatheos ever develops, then an island of community would exist within the larger decay of community in society. A church of Mariatheos in the world would be growing and evolving community of both awareness and participation, awareness of life, love, and wisdom, participation increasing in nurturing cooperation. Although this sounds utopian, existing spiritual communities and churches manifest this to some degree. However it is possible that a community of Mariatheos will evolve from Divine purpose. Thus it would be different from other spiritual communities. The ideas of a church of Mariatheos exist. It is not known if they will ever inspire the formation of a church of Mariatheos in the world.

Although totally obscure, the ideas of the church of Mariatheos are comprehensive. Although somewhat vague they could be a general guide as to awareness development and evolution of community. Without an increase in holiness an increase in voluntary cooperation is not possible. An increase in holiness is not possible without worship of Source of Love and Life. Also necessary is acceptance of purgatorial personal awareness development. And a key modality of awareness is emptiness. Acceptance of emptiness of previously persistent false awareness of self and of the world. If individuals grow closer to Source of Divine Love, then they can participate in community that is closer to being in Divine Love. Ideally this is what a church is. That churches in the world have significant limitations in their capacity for Divine Love has given many people motivation to reject participation in churches. However secular communities do not manifest much Divine Love. So judgement of others is easy. But others could judge our limitations severely if they wanted to. Although it is very difficult to progress towards the utopian, not only is it possible it is not avoidable. Because the evolution of humanity is from spiritual forces beyond our knowledge. Evolution is within the vast diversity of humanity. So mostly it is only observable on the personal level. Humility accepts our personal awareness development is somehow related to larger developments of human awareness without needing to know much about how others are evolving.

Because romantic relationships turn bad so often, and too often becomes an interpersonal conflict, it should be obvious that in general romantic relationships are false. But to most people that is not at all obvious. The romantic relationship is an important part of the web of assumptions about how life in society should be. But those other assumptions could also be realized as false. Especially those about marriage and family. Since actual patterns of life in society are so different from those that are thought to be what should exist, maybe it's necessary to question those assumptions.

The mystery of Our Divine Mother is greater than any awareness we have of Her. However our awareness is always evolving. Because we have limited capacity for awareness from Her Holy Spirit, to gain increase of capacity requires the evolution of our foundational awareness, of who we are. Unfortunately, difficult purgatorial development is intrinsic to gaining awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Any increase of capacity for Her eternal universal Life and Love often develops through difficult purgatory. Thus even if not known Her Holy Spirit is with us and guiding us throughout our purgatory. When we gain more experience of Her love we also gain more wisdom from Her Holy Spirit. Not necessarily conceptual knowledge but perhaps wisdom about people and psyche and the convoluted ongoing drama of our lives.

We live in massive societies and yet most of us mostly identify as individuals. Yet in the context of society the individual barely exists. If one becomes aware of how unimportant any individual is within society then it becomes more apparent how close existential crisis is to becoming experienced by an individual. To block awareness of such potentially unbearable experience, any and all patterns of awareness are potentially useful to the individual.

There are thousands of different spiritual and religious communications about Original Source. Many but not all worship a Deity Who is one with Original Source. Many claim their Deity is exclusively Original Source. The paradox is that is true for them but not for others. It seems to me that if we accept the paradox, cooperation with others who worship another Deity is possible. If the paradox is rejected, then it is more likely there will be conflict and alienation.

Whatever exists in the present at sometime in the past did not exist and at sometime in the future might no longer exist. This is so about patterns of participation in society, from family to institutions. Most people are mostly ignorant of patterns of life in the past and totally ignorant about patterns of life in the future. Thus what is not possible now might be possible in the future. The utopian patterns of community portrayed in the book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos might be possible in the future. A community or church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos might be possible in the future.

If it is prophetic that humanity will transition into matriarchal civilization, then all that is in decay can be understood as necessary for this evolution. Such a momentous change must take time. How long is obviously not known. The future is not known but some hope for the future evolution of human societies might contribute to the acceptance of vast uncertainty as not much understood changes develop. Since decay of past patterns of participation in society especially families is often tragic, only transcendent awareness not of the world compensates. Thus it is possible to acknowledge and even accept suffering from decay of previously more stable patterns of participation and have hope that new life affirming patterns of participation will evolve.

In going through our purgatorial journey of discovery and incremental transformation, we are solving for the problems of the world in microcosm. Which makes a micro contribution to the world. The world evolves from millions of people giving their micro contribution. Implied is unknown spiritual transpersonal mind which is responsible for everyone in their awareness development. Implied is that humanity in its diversity is also a community even if there are millions of different communities in the world. So it is possible to have faith in the evolution of humanity even if all we know is the microcosm of our personal awareness.

Spiritual awareness is an important aspect of human awareness. How the great diversity of spiritual awareness of people evolves will be an important aspect of the evolution of society. Increasingly people are on spiritual search. For the few people who discover this communication about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, hopefully it will be a contribution.

Although many people believe modern society is in chronic crisis that seems unable to be solved for, there are many diverse ways to understand our multifaceted crisis and many different proposed solutions. Since disagreement is intense, it is doubtful anything significant can be done. And even if something can be done it is doubtful there will be much benefit. Because the limitations of modern society are intertwined and the complexity not much understood. However society does evolve. Everything contributes to how it evolves including the forces that resist change.

Although there are thousands of obscure new religious movements, the church of Mariatheos is not yet a new religious movement. At this time it is just some ideas for a new religion. Perhaps these ideas will not be adopted by anyone. But the future extends a far distance and the further out from the present the more uncertain it is. So it is possible some time in the future the church of Mariatheos will exist.

The experience of Deity is personal. The most important Deity in nations with Christian heritage is Jesus Christ. But the beliefs about Jesus are so different that there is little agreement even among established Christian churches. And the beliefs of obscure Christian spiritual groups and spiritual teachings are so diverse that some might seem bizarre. And within different individuals' personal experience, it is not possible to know what their awareness of Jesus Christ is. All this indicates there is no such thing as agreement on religious and spiritual awareness even within the same religious tradition.

The church of Mariatheos does not claim its beliefs are true for those of other religions.

The church of Mariatheos is only for those who discover

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, who pray to Her, who accept Her as God.

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is NOT God for those who do not believe in Her!

However if we believe in Her, She is universal God, Creator of All Life!

This is a type of paradox that we must be aware of. The context of understanding must be known. Within the awareness of Mariatheos, She is God of All; within awareness of almost everyone, She is not God, and such a belief is false. Thus we must be careful of the context of spiritual awareness and understanding.

Spiritual awareness includes the ability to accept paradox. It is not possible to explain the acceptance of paradox. And to many people the contradictions within much of spiritual teachings proves they are false. But to millions of people the experience of spiritual awareness allows them to accept the prevalence of paradox within much of religion and spiritual understanding. If someone has never seen a bicycle it might seem impossible that they do not fall down. If after seeing enough people ride a bicycle it might still seem amazing. And if they tried to ride it they probably would fall. Learning to ride a bicycle is a mysterious process and because it usually happened as a child the ability is just taken for granted. Except by those who can not. Thus prayer is a mysterious ability that many people have but many people do not. Unfortunately the capacity for prayer is sometimes so joined with someone's religious beliefs, that if they become disillusioned with those beliefs, they might lose their faith altogether and lose their capacity for prayer. But others maintain faith and prayer but can change their spiritual beliefs or even explore different spiritual teachings.

In the middle of distress it might not be possible to know that we are loved by our Divine Mother! Because purgatory is about the loss of much of what we assume is who we are. Incremental transformation is resisted more than is accepted by us. Mostly purgatory seems unfair. But when we experience some incremental transformation we realize our resistance was from ignorance. And if we experience grace, we can accept that love from Our Divine Mother is constant, but it is not possible to always experience Her Love. So even when we are suffering sometimes we can know Her Love is constant and that purgatorial transformation is necessary for capacity to experience Love from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

Everyone is aware of major patterns of decay in the world. However patterns of growth are either obscure or so common they are barely noticed. What is certain is that the world changes. But the future can not be known.

The patterns of growth we participate in have an unknown future. Implied is that we have faith in how whatever we participate in will evolve.

This is so for the barely known spiritual cultural communication about

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Hopefully eventually people will discover life and love from

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Somehow we discover a path of spiritual awareness development.

If we pray to Mariatheos, Holy Spirit from Mariatheos guides us on our path. For there is no community of people, no church in the world, which will guide us or support us in our struggles. So it might be a lonely path. But this might motivate us to focus on Mariatheos as Source of love in our experience of life. We might learn not to expect love or affirmation from others and perhaps participate from motivation given to us by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

The church of Mariatheos is not yet a church in the world. It is so far just a lot of language about the discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, Mother of all Life and Love!

At this point it is not known if this set of language is of value to anyone. There are many other ways to know Divine Mother or God as Mother. Eventually it might be possible others will gain some contribution to their spiritual awareness development from the church of Mariatheos.

The spiritual path of the church of Mariatheos leads us away from the world.

To be crude the world is too huge to care about us and it should be obvious that we can not change the world. Rhetoric about changing the world is fantasy and grandiosity. The world changes from large diverse forces mostly not known or understood. Thus the world can not be known or understood. We at best can only know a little about the world and perhaps understand a little about the world. But any understanding can be mostly false and we might not know that it is false. False certainty is comforting. Because it obscures the potential existential terror of realizing our ignorance! However faith allows acceptance of our ignorance.

If we have some awareness of Mariatheos,

we are on the purgatorial journey of gaining capacity for awareness of/from

Holy Spirit from Mariatheos!

This journey will be full of confusion, distress, doubt, and frustration.

We are guided as we walk the path; for we are lost and do not know where we are.

As false awareness decays, it seems hopeless. But ironically that is what is necessary.

What is false must become empty.

Only into emptiness does flow Holy Spirit from Mariatheos!

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is Source of All Life and Love!

Her life and love can be experienced by prayer to

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

Because our capacity for such prayer is limited,

Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos

gives us our purgatorial awareness development.

Even if brief, experience of love from

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos

becomes superior to any other experience.

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos

becomes the goal of our purgatory.

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos

becomes our purpose in life.

Society contains everyone and everyone participates in its evolution.

So it is not necessary to take sides in a conflict of rhetoric or agendas or sets of understanding. Everything and everyone actually coexist and cooperation is greater than conflict. But cooperation is often mundane and taken for granted. However alienation is large and usually it can not be solved for. Ironically acceptance of alienation can allow focus to shift to discovery of spiritual awareness. But discovery is often difficult and limited, and it can persist for decades.

Mariatheos is Original Source.

Obviously most people have other ways to know Original Source.

There are many ways to know Original Source. They are all True. But because we can not walk on different paths at the same time, mostly we focus on the path we are on. Spiritual search might involve discovering a new path.

Mariatheos is Source of All Life and Love. Life is Love.

People avoid realizing their ignorance by false certainty.

False certainty decays if distress becomes too persistent.

Then we are going to be focused on discovering possible solutions to our distress.

New patterns of awareness are accepted and new patterns of understanding.

Others might judge us as having false understanding. But suffering other's judgment is just not avoidable.

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is a way to know Original Source. Thus although there are diverse ways to know Original Source, we must find the way that communicates Original Source to us. Many people claim their way is the only way, but that is true for them. People usually pray to only one God, and tend to disbelieve others who pray to different Gods. But it is best to accept the paradox that for us only one God is true yet for others their God is true for them.

Because we can experience life (with some difficulty) distinct from patterns of life, we can have the intuition that our life is from unknown Original Source of All Life! Thus Life is universal and eternal. What is not universal and eternal are specific patterns of life. Although this distinction might be difficult to realize, once the ability to have awareness of Life eternal and universal is realized, we can never entirely forget it. But we will forget it and the limitations of common awareness will persist. Our spiritual path is the alternation of awareness of our eternal and universal life, and the common awareness of the patterns of our life. At times awareness of the patterns of our life can be filled with uncertainty and distress. Then we might accept some detachment from those patterns; we might accept emptiness of awareness of patterns of life, and thus have capacity to become aware of eternal and universal life.

For many people the limitations of their awareness of life and love are severe. It can become obvious other people can not help. It is then that many turn to spiritual search for a solution. This might be direct by prayer or indirect by engagement with spiritual communication that is available from diverse writers, speakers, musicians, and within churches, spiritual groups, workshops and courses. So there is a lot available but not everything can be explored. Somehow we are guided on our spiritual search.

The utopian ideal communicated in the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos solves for human distress common in modern society. However utopia is not possible in the world. But utopian awareness reveals that the distress of living in modern society can not be solved for. Society is so distant from the utopian that the problems of society will persist. However it is possible to experience transcendence of the world. The utopian represents the unknown life of heaven. We can experience belonging to community in heaven by contemplation of utopian community.

Because archaic community has been in slow decay, and those who suffered oppression within it would not return to it, alienation has steadily increased. Thus some individuals suffer decay within personal awareness that drives the search for personal transformation. Attainment of such is usually slow and incremental and becomes one's lifetime journey of discovery.

Only a very high spiritual source can create human awareness that is comprehensive of reality to a greater degree than we have now. Hopefully the great diversity of different people's awareness of reality will coalesce and integrate into a community of wisdom greater than the many smaller wisdom communities that exist today. How that evolves is beyond our capacity to know now. We can only have our limited awareness and at best accept our vast ignorance. But we can have faith that no matter how our awareness has developed it is a small part of the evolution of human awareness; and we can not know much about what is evolving.

Modern society is exceedingly complex and incredibly diverse. Any attempt to understand society will be limited, and if that limited understanding claims a larger knowledge than is real, it will unavoidably conflict with reality. The realm of rhetoric is vast and diverse. But what is common is conflict of different sets of understanding. Unfortunately conflict is even deeper and is among different people's awareness of reality. Such conflict is almost impossible to resolve. However perhaps the only solution is the separation of conflicting sets of awareness of reality. Unfortunately that yields much alienation and even loneliness. And it also severely limits capacity for cooperation.

Decay of common awareness of our self in the world forces acceptance of emptiness of habitual patterns of awareness. Emptiness can be experienced as grace, relatively free of distress. Unfortunately often common awareness recurs. But eventually acceptance of emptiness recurs. Common awareness is persistent but incrementally transforms by acceptance of emptiness and revelation of spiritual awareness. Especially wonderful is any experiential awareness of or from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

Because everything is interrelated, there is a large amount of limitations on every individual.

None the less people strive to live a full life within those limitations.

For some there is more experience of life within the solitude of contemplation.

But how does one communicate to others what is discovered within solitude?

The world has too much numerous diverse expression trying to be communicated!

So far it seems all the available communication of the church of Mariatheos is mostly being ignored. But perhaps in the future more people will be interested in it.

Because we are lost, we must be guided. We are lost because of how much is archaic and in decay, and because of how much uncertainty there is about the future.

There is so much diverse spiritual culture available it is difficult to know how to choose. Unavoidably we rely on our personal intuition in our spiritual search. If something seems to be a contribution we engage with it. If it fails or ceases to be a contribution, we resume our spiritual search. But spiritual search is also by contemplation and prayer. Hopefully the spiritual communication available from the church of Mariatheos can make some contribution to you. May Our Divine Mother bless you!

Although there are many reform agendas the problems of the world are too vast and too interrelated for much hope that anything much will be solved for. Probably some things will get better to a small degree but other things could get worse. Although people working on reform agendas are necessary, focus on gaining spiritual awareness does contribute to service to others even if subtle and not observable. However the gain of spiritual awareness is not as much about changing the world (which is not possible) as it is about transcending the world. The world of 8 billion people can not even be known. We live in massive societies with extensive limitations. To escape those limitations requires awareness that is beyond those limitations. Spiritual awareness recontextualizes awareness of the world! Because normally the world is understood as causal.

The hell of life in the world is complex. So instead of trying to understand the world it would be better to assume that all people are being guided in their purgatorial journey. It is possible that the great diversity of people in their purgatorial development will eventually integrate their evolved awareness into community.

The hell of life in the world persists until we have climbed out of hell and are closer to heaven. Purgatory contains awareness of both hell and heaven. Progress is not obvious but countless realizations and persistent slow incremental transformation of awareness contributes to our evolution. We are guided by the mostly unknown spiritual realm but sometimes we have experience of Our Divine Mother.

Holy Queen of Heaven, Mother of Mercy, Source of our Life,

Have mercy on us, suffering children of our society and the world.

Help us in our grief, fear, and distress.

Help transform our severe limitations;

So that we may with deep gratitude experience Your bountiful Grace, everlasting Love, and eternal Life.

O Mother of all Life, Mariatheos

Deliver us through the Great Void,

So that we may seek immersion in

Your Universal Love.

Everything is given to us by unknown forces and unknown purpose.

If we accept our awareness is purgatorial, we can much more accept our ignorance.

At times we might have faith. At times we might experience grace.

But often we won't know what is going on, not only for one's self but for others and the world.

The more we can accept our ignorance the more we can accept faith without knowing anything at all.

Because spiritual reality is transcendent of space and time yet joined with all patterns in space and time, all awareness mostly focused on patterns in space and time will be mostly ignorant of spiritual reality. People can have very sophisticated systems of understanding of patterns in the world and yet be ignorant of spiritual reality. There is an all too common tendency for human awareness to deny the reality of that which they are ignorant of. Also to assign causality to something that they know about even if that is false. Thus the beginning of wisdom is to accept ignorance and to ignore the judgement of those who believe they understand reality but their understanding is more false than they know.

Spiritual focus shifts focus away from our self in the world. Necessary participation continues but much of the incessant commentary and complaints might decrease at least a little. For spiritual awareness can reveal much of our thought and emotion as false, as not necessary for our participation. Attitudes and assumptions about reality might begin to be revealed as false. It begins to be possible to accept our vast ignorance of reality that has been obscured by false certainty. Ironically acceptance of our ignorance can allow acceptance of myth as a foundational aspect of our spiritual awareness. Thus the church of Mariatheos contains myth that facilitates deep inspiration from not known spiritual reality. Language is inherently metaphorical. Words are not the reality that they describe. The test of reality is experiential. Thus the test of spiritual language is within your personal experience. There is an abundance of diverse sets of cultural representation of spiritual reality. No one can explore all of them. If you have stopped participation in the spiritual community you experienced as a child, then perhaps you have been on spiritual search. If your spiritual search has brought you to the church of Mariatheos, hopefully you will find some contribution to your spiritual awareness development.

Unfortunately for many of us our capacity for prayer is limited. Our awareness is dominated by focus on our self in the world. These secular concerns are most compelling and often necessary. Ironically it can be failure of our self in the world that reveals the possibility of shifting our awareness to spiritual search both by contemplation and engagement with diverse spiritual cultural communication, including books. If one already has much capacity for prayer spiritual search is not needed. But if capacity for prayer is limited and there is an inner motivation to gain capacity, spiritual search might be urgent.

Unfortunately people suffer in this world. Too often suffering comes from people who were trusted and proved untrustworthy. Unfortunately wisdom is sometimes gained via painful experience in the world. Too often spiritual rhetoric hides self centeredness. But we can not necessarily trust ourselves either. Ironically what can be trusted is that life is purgatorial! We can trust that we will learn difficult lessons. Our wisdom is gained slowly.

Although we are on a purgatorial journey, we barely understand it. Most obvious is any suffering. Also obvious is our circumstance. However our assumptions and attitudes about our life could be false. In other words our understanding of our life could be false and our understanding of life in the world could be false. Thus spiritual awareness conflicts with common awareness and spiritual knowledge conflicts with common understanding of life in the world. Because most people have both spiritual and common awareness, this results in a bifurcation of awareness. At times we have spiritual awareness and at times common. We have two conflicting sets of understanding. Somehow they coexist.

The church of Mariatheos has spiritual awareness both traditional and radical.

It teaches of a transcendent god, a causal spiritual realm, the superiority of celibacy, the false nature of self awareness, and the false nature of much secular awareness.

But it also teaches that God is Divine Mother, the foundational myth of the mother of Jesus being a full incarnation of God who is Mother or Mariatheos, that women are superior to men, that marriage is false, that romantic love is false, and that the ideal family includes several women and children, and men should live outside of the matriarchal household.

Thus the church of Mariatheos will be rejected by people who reject traditional religion and also by people who accept traditional religion. It will be rejected by people for many different reasons and by people of many different spiritual awareness communities. It will be considered unnecessary by those who know of it but also it is known by almost no one!

So what purpose is all of this language about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos?

That purpose remains not known.

Society can not be better than the people within it. History shows how different societies all have some systems of hierarchy. The hierarchy can be codified and open, let's say society ruled by an aristocracy, or the hierarchy can be partly hidden, let's say society ruled by a democracy that contains a great deal of corruption or a society with a government with little power and the hierarchy of ownership and wealth determines much of the patterns of life in society. Although people resent the patterns of coercion and oppression in society, coercion and oppression exist in all types of interpersonal relationship, especially families but also friendships and even small groups. It seems doubtful that any system of organization can escape power dynamics even if subtle, even if not observed or understood.

Religion has more focus on human nature as the source of suffering in the world. Transformation of human awareness is possible even if slow and incremental, even if barely observable. Spiritual practice is inward focused and fosters acceptance of responsibility for personal awareness. This itself can vastly reduce the level of interpersonal conflict which often spirals from blaming others for one's suffering.

However to reduce seeking gain from others which is bound to be futile, one needs to gain grace from somewhere. This is potentially available from contemplation and prayer. Contemplation of the myriad blocks to prayer. These are usually patterns of relatively false awareness. Capacity for prayer involves emptiness of false awareness that blocks the inflow of Grace. Such contemplation is actually guided by spiritual guides, or angels, or Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother.

Service to others is also a way to experience Grace. For service almost automatically decreases self centered awareness and the common desire to seek gain from others, even if just affirmation. But the capacity for service is limited, and sometimes it is the usual necessary participation in life that can become service with a change in awareness, a decrease in self centeredness. It is false to be too moralistic about our limitations of human awareness. Everyone has limitations to their awareness and it is not possible to be fully aware of them. Otherwise the grief would be intolerable.

The church of Mariatheos is not a church in the world.

It is just a lot of language that hopefully portrays awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Hopefully some people will find it a contribution to their spiritual awareness development. Perhaps years from now some people will gather together to celebrate their spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Fictional stories of such people form most of the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Religion is a spiritual cultural social awareness community and community of participation.

Ok, that sentence contains a lot of information and might seem like gibberish.

Spiritual awareness has a unique quality; it seems somewhat transcendent or from beyond normal awareness. It is mysterious and perhaps difficult to describe. Once it is described it becomes cultural. For culture is the communication of awareness or experience between human beings. All language is cultural, as is music, art, architecture, and actually everything humans produce, create, or manufacture. Social involves all patterns of human participation, from friendship and family, to organizations and institutions. Obviously the cultural and the social aspects of being human interrelate and even merge. The spiritual aspect of being human is more mysterious, but actually interrelates with everything but mostly unknown. Religion explicitly joins spiritual, cultural and social awareness together and usually involves groups of people, often participating in group prayer and song, and sometimes in ritual. Religion often has suggestions if not rules for how people relate to each other in community. This last aspect is to some extent ignored in the modern world.

Increasingly in the modern world spiritual cultural communication is separate from social community. From radio and television to books and internet videos and blogs, people engage with spiritual culture without necessarily relating to each other. The cultivation of personal spiritual awareness does however contribute to how a person relates to others. So it is not as self centric as some skeptics or those who go to church might assume. Society evolves and patterns of community evolve. Alienation can not be solved by archaic patterns of community that are in decline. However for many people what is traditional is still of great value. For those who for whatever reason have rejected or experienced rejection from traditional religious community, many of them are on spiritual search. Perhaps a few of them have discovered the spiritual culture of the church of Mariatheos.

Unfortunately traditional religion is to some degree archaic. Modern society to a great degree ignores religion and is secular. Many people accept a bifurcation of their awareness. They participate in secular society and they have religious awareness. But because traditional religion is to some degree archaic, many people have personal religious or spiritual awareness that is outside of organized religion and perhaps outside of traditional religion. There is an abundance of diverse spiritual communication available. Many people are on spiritual search. This is not only by engaging with diverse spiritual culture, but importantly by contemplation and prayer. One term for source of spiritual experience common to different religions and spiritual teachings is Holy Spirit. This helps support the understanding that in spite of significant disagreements and conflicts, ultimately all religious and spiritual awareness is from the same Universal Source. The word god is too strongly linked to traditional religion for many people and they can not use the word to describe their awareness of Universal Source. But others can accept the word god being used in alternative religion and spiritual culture without the limitations of traditional religious understandings.

For thousands of years people have experienced spiritual awareness. However

for thousands of years people have experienced awareness severely limited to circumstance and the world. Struggle for physical survival has been primary focus for many people. Because survival is dependent on others, awareness can become exceedingly complex even if the foundational motivation is survival. Society can not fully satisfy everyone's desires so most people are going to experience some frustration. They experience some degree of limitation in their attempts to attain an optimal life. To be crude, they survive but have chronic if barely conscious awareness of existential uncertainty. Since society puts limitations on our ability to gain what we want, we are forced to focus on gaining what we can. And what is abundantly available is culture. Our awareness is not about our direct participation in the world but our awareness is within a realm which is tangential to the world. Representations of the world which are to various degree fantasy. But often emotionally very convincing.

Thus our awareness is not limited to our self in the world. Culture indicates how common our awareness can escape from the world. Religion is cultural awareness that is spiritual and can transcend the world. Thus religious awareness can be contextual for our awareness of our self in the world. For most people through the ages this is just normal. To not have religious awareness would seem impossible. But for many people in the modern age it is religious awareness that seems impossible.

This is a purgatorial realm.

But we don't much understand it.

We have to play the game while trying to learn the rules; and they might be different for different people. To be crude, some people get away with things others can not. Put another way, some people attain mercy that others do not. Thus it is difficult to help others. One might have learned a life lesson that is not relevant for another's life in their world.

Specifically the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is probably not relevant for most people. But how can the book be discovered by the few who might find it valuable? Perhaps for a long while the few people who know it exists will be dismissive of it. Hopefully eventually some people who discover it exists will also appreciate it.

We desire love but we can not find it.

We desire to love but we are not able.

We desire community but we can not find it or

we can not help but reject the community available.

The above is a bit of an exaggeration but our experience of love is limited and

our participation in community is limited.

However spiritual love is different from human love.

Spiritual love can be experienced in the solitude of prayer.

Spiritual love does not necessarily require participation in the world.

Spiritual love might require rejection of much participation in the world!

Spiritual love might require waiting for sanctified community to participate in.

Spiritual love might require our purgatorial awareness development until we are sanctified!

At the core of a worldview is myth. Myth is comprehensive; it explains the world, it explains causality, and it has a vision of the utopian, and perhaps the way to get there. It is therefore a religion! There is no way to argue anyone out of their religion unless they have already begun to lose faith. And people sometimes become disillusioned with their religion. Even having faith in oneself is a religion that over the years can suffer disillusion.

When people have lost faith in their previously held beliefs, they might be engaged in spiritual search. After half a century of spiritual search what I have discovered is communicated in the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. But a real religion exists in community. And there is not yet a community of people with awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Perhaps years and even decades in the future a religion and community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will develop.

Developing capacity for prayer requires emptiness.

Emptiness of usually habitual patterns of awareness:

thoughts, assumptions, attitudes; but also importantly,

emotions, sensation, discomfort, even pain.

Obviously common awareness is persistent and it might seem not possible to experience emptiness. But a little bit of emptiness can develop at a time. Capacity for detachment from our common experience of our self in the world can increase over time. It is an ability that reveals itself often unexpectedly, and unfortunately sometimes out of desperation when distress is not tolerable and there is no other solution.

Ave Maria, Mother of Life;

Blessed are those who know You.

Mariatheos, Giver of Life;

Bless us, now and throughout our purgatory.

Our Mother Who art Heaven;

Holy You are, Your Holy Spirit flows forth

To transform our world slowly into Your Heaven.

Help us each day as we struggle

To accept transformation of our limitations,

So as to experience Your Life and Love.

Glory be to our Mother,

Her Holy Spirit and Her Angels;

Mariatheos, Creator of all Life,

Eternal and Universal,

Within us and within the world,

Ever evolving.

Because we live in a transitional era, so much of the past has changed that it is almost certain much will change in the future. But we can not know what it will be. Many engage in speculation; but speculation will likely prove false. So although we don't know, we can have hopes that guide what we do now. For me the hope that the church of Mariatheos will develop in the world motivates all these attempts at communication. The hope compensates for engaging in what seems a futile and foolish task.

Although the idea of having continual spiritual experience and awareness might seem desirable, attainment of such is almost impossible. Our spiritual awareness is very limited. Unavoidably we are on a long purgatorial pilgrimage to hopefully higher levels of spiritual experience and awareness. After a while it becomes apparent we are not in control of the process of awareness development. Recurring realizations and grace support our having faith even if our understanding is limited.

Although many people know god as Mother, this is a relatively recent development in the west. However the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox religions include much devotion to Mary or Maria as Mother of God. To an innocent it would be apparent that necessarily Mary or Maria must be God also! This awareness is the heart of the religion of Mariatheos. An undeveloped religion because it is a community of people that really form a religion.

Believing in Mariatheos necessitates the reworking of the foundational myth. If we accept that religion is powerful myth and not history, then we can discover new myth and new religion.

There is a huge difference between the self and life.

Life is eternal and universal and flows into every self.

What the self is and how it has been created is a mystery.

But it is the self that experiences numerous different limitations.

Perhaps the soul is different from the self; perhaps the soul has experience that the self does not. But the soul also has myriad limitations.

Thus the individual is inherently limited.

However we can experience what is eternal and universal.

Focus of awareness on Life, eternal and universal, is spiritual and religious awareness.

So the big question is:

Is there some historical aspect to the pursuit of holiness?

Is it possible that the average level of holiness can increase in a community or even a society over time?

In this secular age many people think the suffering in society is a result of exploitation, oppression, discrimination, etc. But the assumption is that these dynamics could change for the better. But they seem to persist not only over decades and centuries but seem to exist in almost all societies in the world. So it is doubtful that criticism of society changes it for the better. People have different understanding of society so conflict over reform agendas limit their implementation. But even if a set of reforms is implemented the beneficial effects often seem limited. Disillusionment with secular attempts to reform society contributes to engagement with spiritual awareness of society. Ironically because spiritual awareness is transcendent of the world, it becomes apparent that it is not possible to change the world! The world is a realm with severe limitations. However the world does evolve! How it evolves is a mystery and the future is not known!

The church of Mariatheos describes near utopian community that is probably not possible. But the ideas of such a community can be an inspiration. For we live in the world which is far from utopian. Paradoxically it is easier to tolerate the distress of living in the world as it is if we have spiritual awareness that is an alternative to it! So at best we can live in two sets of awareness; awareness of the world with all its limitations, and awareness of universal eternal Life and Love! Although such spiritual experience does not necessarily require representation to others, if people want to share in such awareness some cultural expression is of value. Cultural expression of spiritual awareness might be an inspiration for others. The church of Mariatheos is one of a multitude of different cultural expressions of spiritual awareness.

A lot of suffering comes from the failure of marriage becoming a failure of family. No one wants to feel guilty for the unavoidable suffering of children when a marriage is unhappy. But no one can make a marriage happy if it is not. Although there are some happy marriages and families, more people are realizing starting a family in this era is inherently difficult and that getting married is a gamble with severe consequences if it turns bad. However there seem to be no good alternatives.

The church of Mariatheos offers ideas for alternatives. But they require a level of holiness for everyone involved. So it is not probable the matriarchal household is possible at this time. And the matriarchal household would require the support of the church of Mariatheos! It would require a matriarchal community in which men support the matriarchal households but do not live in them. It would require the people of the church community to mostly practice celibacy and to love one another without the false love of the self centered. In other words a near utopian community that is probably not possible.

The church of Mariatheos is an idea, or set of ideas.

If people begin to recognize the truth of those ideas and especially if over time their awareness of Mariatheos develops, then it is possible some of them might gather and form a church. At this time there is no way to know if this will happen.

But it is possible.

A religion of Mariatheos would affirm celibacy.

There is a tremendous amount of suffering from the realm of sexual relationship. This includes those who desire it, those within it, and those after it ends. But it is also from the widespread false awareness about sexual desire. The assumption that it is necessary is false. The suffering it generates proves that. If we understand that it is not necessary for happiness and in fact is an impediment to happiness, we would affirm celibacy. If we affirm celibacy we could abandon marriage as an ideal. We could explore other ways to form families. If sexual relations were only for the purpose of procreation then the implied sexual contract of marriage could be broken and the brokenness of marriage could be avoided. An alternative family of a group of women supporting each other is probably only possible if they have a high level of spiritual love! Which might include participation in a larger church community. If men belonged to a church of Mariatheos then they would have motivation to contribute to the family households without having to live in them. There could be some shepherding of boys by men of the church. Thus the church community would be crucial for the support of children. And it is spiritual love from Mariatheos that would make this possible.

A religion of Mariatheos (such a religion does not exist yet) would incorporate much of the spiritual wisdom of traditional religion. It would not affirm the false awareness of secular society and secular culture. It would not celebrate decadence. It would not celebrate wealth. It would affirm celibacy but have compassion for those who are focused on their desires. It would understand the tenacity of suffering.

Thus for those who want to ignore the wisdom of traditional religion they are not going to want to engage with the wisdom of a religion from Mariatheos. For awareness of and from Mariatheos requires the acceptance of holiness! And holiness does not include most of our common awareness. Common awareness is more from Hell than is realized until the light from Her Holy Spirit reveals it as false.

Thus a religion of Mariatheos solves for the limitations of traditional religion but includes spiritual wisdom that can be found in traditional religion.

It is possible to transcend sexual desire.

The problems of sexuality are a large aspect of suffering for people.

Unfortunately secular society has much false awareness about sexuality. Thus suffering is extensive and can not be solved for. Spiritual Love is experientially superior to sexual desire. All pleasure seeking is from the limitations of common human awareness. Even if experience proves pleasure seeking is futile and sometimes yields much suffering, it can become compulsive. Unfortunately Spiritual Love is not often experienced. But are we focused on the path that leads towards Heaven or are we walking the road to Hell? This is not about the afterlife but about the quality of our awareness in this life.

Everything in the world is resultant. We make a mistake if we assume anything in the world is causal. So we don't know the causal realm. We can call it the spiritual realm but we know little about it. However people have spiritual awareness and experience. How that is communicated becomes spiritual cultural. A religion is a shared spiritual culture that people recurringly engage with.

The future is especially uncertain at this time. Different kinds of crisis are possible in the future. What is more known is what people are experiencing now. And partly what is common is hopelessness. But chronic hopelessness might actually be an aspect of the purgatorial process of spiritual awareness development! Because most of what we hope for might be false! Not a real aspect of happiness, not an aspect of spiritual love, not what really solves for anxiety. So disillusionment with false hope might develop after hopelessness, perhaps even despair.

A nurturing comprehensive community we long to live in seems impossible.

So what would be necessary for it to exist?

This is partly what is described in the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

And what is prerequisite, what is most necessary, is deep spiritual awareness that would enable people to participate in comprehensive community eventually.

My belief is that self centered spirituality can not do that. And that is the stage many of us are at. Self centered spirituality is necessary for a degree of healing from decay of community, from family or social participation that the individual experienced as oppressive, even if only subjective experience. So we can't expect more from ourselves than is possible. But it should be apparent many of us can not yet participate at higher level of love and cooperation.

Although we live in society full of decay of comprehensive community, we long for belonging within a nurturing comprehensive community. But not only does it seem impossible, we are suspicious that any attempt to develop such community would result in something oppressive to live in. So we grudgingly accept the dystopian society full of alienation we live in.

My theory of community is that it can have any degree of integration. Thus any group of people who share some interest or purpose could be called a community. Thus a school, workplace, as well as star trek fans, craft beer enthusiasts, or viewers of a particular television show, listeners to a particular musician's recordings, readers of a particular writers work, can all be referred to as communities. But these type of communities are very different from the traditional understanding of community which is a community that is comprehensive! This is the type of community that barely exists anymore. Society has changed so much for so long that it is difficult to imagine what living in a comprehensive community would be like.

People sometimes ask: what the hell is going on?

Whatever degree of consensus there used to exist 75 years ago in America has been in continual decay since then. That consensus contained a lot of coercion. So it is natural that people who experience oppression will struggle against it. Ironically the breakdown in consensus also liberated the capitalist class to increase exploitation. The struggle of all against all is ugly and results in a lot of brokenness and decay. If the unconscious message people get from society is that every individual is in a struggle for money and love, then many people will suffer from relatively little of either. The context for the individual is community and community requires an implicit consensus; decay of consensus indicates decay of community.

Acceptance of emptiness allows grace.

Often grace is subtle.

Sometimes just the ability to tolerate continual purgatory.

Emptiness is usually the solution.

However resistance to emptiness is persistent.

The distance between resistance and acceptance of emptiness is the purgatorial journey.

Politics fails, so I choose religion.

Religion fails, so I choose spirituality.

Spirituality is too ephemeral, so I rediscover religion and discover a new religion.

But this new religion is so far not known by others.

So I have to play the lonely role of prophet.

But Mariatheos inspires and motivates me.

There used to be a grand narrative of America that most people believed. Now a counter narrative has become increasingly popular. Ironically the counter narrative is associated with the elites. So a counter counter narrative has become popular that is supposedly conservative but seems radical. Although these conflicting narratives have political consequences, the evolution of society might have little to do with any of them. Society contains everything within it and everything contributes to societal evolution. The obscure might be as important as what is obvious.

The world is full of conflict.

Everyone is convinced of their righteousness

and convinced of the evil of those they are in conflict with.

Perhaps not evil but perhaps stupid, ignorant, deluded, selfish, etc.

Conflict is an aspect of the world.

To go beyond conflict requires transcendence of the world.

What has been surprising me recently in my ongoing development of personal awareness:

How much people are totally fully people, separate and not knowable.

Fortunately I have some understanding of my ignorance.

There is a mostly unconscious avoidance of awareness of others. There are many ways to minimize awareness of others. Reduction of others to a short story we can understand. Focus not on the other but on our own experience of them. Thus distress and good feelings are personal experience and more self centered than really appreciation of the otherness of the other. For full awareness of others might severely decrease self awareness and evoke some degree of existential crisis. Thus it is not surprising that many prefer to limit awareness of others by for instance interaction on social media. Texting rather than talking. Engaging with movies, television, novels about people rather than people. Since all of this has increased over decades, it indicates it has been an evolution of society that limited us so. It is not our fault and we have no ability to fix it.

I believe that in the old days we had much less sense of being individuals. We belonged to our community and our community thought for us. Our reality was determined by community. Communities might conflict with each other. But they also coexisted and evolved and contributed to each other.

Thus the sense of being an individual is forced if there is no community to belong to. Empires include different communities. The city is where people from different communities coexist and have more opportunity to interrelate. The city is the place where community decays and participation in organizations and institutions becomes most important. Work, school, government, charities, become more important than the decaying traditional community. And culture becomes huge. Popular culture, or elite or bohemian culture are all available.

With technology the city has become universal. No matter where you live traditional community has decayed and participation in the chaos and diversity of society becomes necessary. So it is necessary to be an individual. To take on the burden of the self in relationship with others. If people retreat to behind the screen, then that's the way it is.

Meandering thoughts about Mariatheos (3)

Although at the time of the writing there is very little interest in what has been written about discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, experience from Holy Spirit might eventually give some people some awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Faith facilitates motivation for all of this communication about discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Unfortunately faith develops from sometimes distressful purgatorial experience from life in the world. So the readers of these writings are probably in their own purgatorial awareness development. In purgatory hell is often more experiential than heaven. It is not an indicator of being on the wrong path if it is very difficult. Metaphorically to reach the top of a mountain takes hiking a foot path miles uphill; it might be slow and physically distressful. While one can drive in a comfortable car relatively fast many miles on roads through the land below.

The severity of purgatory can not be avoided. If life in the world is Not understood as purgatorial, then it might seem it is just a matter of good fortune or misfortune that determines our experience. The purpose of our purgatorial life in the world is more revealed by faith than understanding. However there are realizations that result from going through cycles of awareness development. The incremental decrease of attachments forced by suffering allows grace to be experienced even if subtle. Because patterns of participation persist and contain some assumption that attachment is expected, we often are not open about any degree of detachment we develop. Ironically because grace can flow into emptiness, participation from a state of grace can contribute to others in ways participation from attachment can not.

Because sometimes purgatory is brutal, it does not seem possible that we are loved by god. But Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is not god of the world! She is source of our life, but not the patterns of our life. Creator of the world (including us) is not known. However it is possible to have awareness of life distinct from the patterns of life in the world. Our purgatory forces us to do so. Distress from traumatic experience forces detachment from the patterns of life that prove to be vulnerable to decay or decrease.

Our awareness is created by not known reality. It is possible to accept that not known reality is greater than us. Therefore even the awareness of being an individual is given to us. Our awareness develops and it is possible awareness of being an individual can decrease and awareness of being part of a community can increase. Such a discovery is of course life changing. This is not a choice. A person might long for inclusion in community yet remain in isolation for a long time.

We really don't understand the past. There are many different aspects of society that interrelate. So if one aspect is studied the tendency is to assume it was causal; even if important it was not necessarily causal of other important aspects of society. Our ignorance is profound and no matter how much we learn we will still be ignorant. Faith is what allows acceptance of ignorance without distress. We can accept our ignorance of the past, the present, and the future. How to gain faith is a mystery. Really faith is given to us by what is a Mystery. We can adopt beliefs about this Mystery but they are metaphorical. Such metaphorical descriptions of Mystery can be very valuable.

Chaos is an aspect of disintegration. Whatever coherence society has had in the past as been in decay. What has been in growth is often obscure. Nothing yet is comprehensive and obviously displacing past patterns of integration of society. Critique is abundant and diverse but does not indicate what will evolve. So perception of chaos will persist.

If we accept that we live in a purgatorial realm, we would expect it to be a realm of suffering, but we might also have faith that there is purpose to the suffering. Also we might suspect that our personal awareness survives the suffering of the purgatorial realm. Especially we might know our awareness is distinct from the biological organism of the body and somehow continues after the death of the body. It might be realized that it is just an assumption that awareness is limited to the mortal human body. Ignorance of reality and ignorance of what our awareness is allows any assumption about reality to be accepted without knowing if the assumption is false. Sometimes secular false assumptions are welcomed because they facilitate rejection of the false assumptions adopted by some religious communities. Because we live in a purgatorial realm false assumptions are not avoidable.

If our expectations and assumptions are frustrated by our lived experience for long enough, it might be possible to be open to alternative awareness. Alternative awareness is not just awareness from the cultural and spiritual realms, but can be about our awareness of our life in the world. What we thought was most important might eventually be realized as false. What we thought was necessary to be happy or even to survive in the world might eventually be realized as false. Faith can increasingly be realized as what is most necessary; and then the focus of our awareness is about gaining faith. Since there are many different spiritual communities that offer ways to have faith and to gain faith, somehow we choose one path out of a multitude. At this point it is not known if anyone else will choose the path of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

The religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos can not be known unless past assumptions about life in the world have decreased. Although past patterns might persist, awareness about them would have to evolve so as to be able to accept spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. The descriptions of the utopian communities in the stories contained in the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos portray spiritual awareness that conflicts with our common awareness of the world, with our expectations and assumptions about how the world should be.

We live in a purgatorial realm. Vast ignorance is inherent to our awareness. Many people adopt some sort of worldview that gives an understanding of reality; this might be spiritual or secular and often includes both. Only if readily available worldviews are less than satisfying does one search for meaning. Often one is forced to synthesize as best one can a personal understanding of reality. If that becomes coherent enough one might try and communicate some of their understanding to others. However others will naturally be resistant to engaging with understanding very different than their own.

Religion and much of spirituality contains the idea of a soul that is distinct from the biological human. Because secular awareness is so dominant, many people are skeptical of the existence of the soul. Ignorance is not knowledge. It is possible to ignore areas of reality if one's focus is primarily elsewhere. In our society it is not at all necessary to focus on spiritual reality. Unfortunately if one tries to switch focus from secular to spiritual matters, there is such a confusion of at least partly conflicting teachings about spiritual reality that it might seem impossible to discover anything that seems true.

If one looks up at the night sky, and notices perhaps two planets very bright and countless stars, it can be realized that the earth which is so large to us, almost does not exist relative to the universe. The world and all its people including us do not exist relative to the universe. However since that is a pattern of personal awareness, some awareness must exist in order to contemplate nonexistence! This indicates that who we are is awareness and not the content of awareness. Unfortunately we don't know what this awareness is. We can only have ideas about it; people have many different ideas about what awareness is and they could all be partly false.

Our awareness is both personal and of community. The very language which we think in is from community, but also are multiple and diverse ideas, assumptions, understandings, etc. So if one experiences distress, it might be ambiguous if that is from one's self or from community. Because it is possible that a community of awareness is suffering distress from conflict with other communities of awareness. This is especially prevalent in contemporary society as many different ways to be aware of and understand the world conflict.

People exist with others: family, friends, co-workers, strangers. People participate with or within corporations, organizations, institutions, government. So the assumption that we have much self determination is to some degree false. Personal awareness does have some degree of autonomy yet how awareness develops might not be understood. Fortunately spiritual mind can communicate directly with people. Our awareness development might be more guided than we know. When a person has a spiritual conversion experience, they can acknowledge even past awareness development was unknowingly guided, and they have some faith that their future awareness development will be guided.

If the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is represented by New Jerusalem in the last chapters of the Book of Revelation in the New Testament, then most of the Book of Revelation represents all of the tribulation, distress, decay, and even destruction that must develop before people can live in utopian community. In other words a severe purgatorial process of awareness development is necessary for people to gain the capacity for Life and Love within utopian community. A church of Mariatheos in the world would probably not be entirely utopian but perhaps it must be partly utopian if it is to be a creation from the Holy Spirit of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

Although it does not seem probable that a church of Mariatheos will ever exist, because the future is not known, the development of the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos can not be proved impossible. We assume what exists in the present will persist in the future. But the further into the future the more will change!

Awareness of the world can enter emptiness.

Often acceptance of emptiness of experience of the world is from disintegration of experience of the world as contextual awareness. The world does not feel safe, or it is no longer possible to understand the world, or there seems to be too much chaos in the world, or the future is not knowable. Since these types of experience of the world are shared by others, cultural expression of great uncertainty about the world can gain an audience or readership. Some cultural expressions also have spiritual awareness. For spiritual awareness can transcend normal awareness of the world. Such stories can be about the end times, descriptions of destruction of the world, and either the deliverance of the survivors into heaven or the arrival of the beginning of a more utopian world.

Because many of us are in purgatory, hell is an aspect of awareness.

Some suffering is not avoidable.

However the solution to suffering is usually not acceptable.

The solution is awareness of emptiness.

Emptiness of the content of suffering:

both experience of suffering and the self that experiences suffering,

both what is distressful and what not distressful,

also sensation, emotion, thought, image, etc.

Grace enters emptiness but emptiness is difficult to accept.

No matter how much distress is experienced it is joined with some experience that one is attached to. This is often what seems necessary to be one's self.

Thus we are guided in our purgatorial processes of transformation.

Only incremental transformation of awareness is possible.

Gain of capacity for emptiness develops incrementally.

Gain of capacity for Grace develops incrementally.

Because the spiritual church of Mariatheos is utopian, the church of Mariatheos is not yet possible in the world. Transcendence of the world reveals awareness of Heaven.

Mariatheos is Heaven! However the Life of Heaven is very much in us and within the world. Transcendence and immanence are both aspects of Divine Life and Love.

Incremental development of spiritual awareness of Heaven and Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is possible. Such spiritual awareness development might be inevitable for some people. Reading any of the writing about Mariatheos could indicate you are in a long purgatorial process of development of spiritual awareness. Although such awareness development would include gain of awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, unavoidably distress would also be experienced. If this becomes true for you, you might somewhat resent this development, even if at times you are blessed with grace from Holy Spirit of Mariatheos. Even if you experience Her Love!

Although it seems no one is adopting Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as Deity, as God, as Source of All Life, as Source of Divine Love; because the future is not known, perhaps eventually some people will.

Although causality is not known and reality is mostly not known, we can develop some awareness of Universal Source by our capacity for spiritual awareness. However we must accept that everyone has different spiritual awareness. It is not too difficult to accept that Universal Mind communicates to different people differently. Thus different religions, different religious communities within each religion, and people within the same religious community, all have their different communities of awareness and different personal awareness. Communities give people some common patterns of awareness and especially group worship generates joyful common awareness.

The source of people's awareness is not known. The source of anything and everything is not known. Usually people don't care about the source of what they have, which to some extent is considered who they are. However we do have stories that explain our self and the world. Even if experiential crisis forces the search for new understandings they really are elaborate stories. If they are satisfying they remain unquestioned. If not satisfying then the search for understanding continues. But almost all understanding contains so many assumptions, it is really faith that confirms or affirms any understanding people have. Others affirmation of one understanding helps one's certainty. Thus a community of understanding supplies much mutual affirmation and confirmation. Understanding is an aspect of awareness. Thus one's patterns of understanding are joined with other patterns of awareness (especially emotions) that are more unconscious and more resistant to change. There is not known causality to our awareness, and that includes its evolution.

Although it seems presumptuous to offer awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as central to the development of a spiritual community, thousands of new spiritual communities develop over time. Most are so small that they are not known except for those who participate in them. There is a very long list of new religious movements on Wikipedia. But very few people are going to be interested in finding out anything about them. Somehow they all developed and persist, at least for a while. At this point in time there is no indication that the church of Mariatheos is possible in the world. However it does exist in stories; it exists as spiritual awareness, potential spiritual awareness.

A community is distinct from its spiritual culture. It is much more than the text that they hold as central to their awareness. In fact from the outside it might seem the awareness of a community has not much relationship to the writing they hold as important. Thus it really is difficult to understand a religious community. If you are within a religious community awareness and participation are immersive. Doubts and questions about your community usually indicate you are in the process of leaving it. Because from the outside the spiritual culture of a religious community is not understood, it is easy to judge religious communities as false. Spiritual culture is metaphorical but often experientially very real. Thus a religious community's awareness is a mystery not only to outsiders but perhaps to those inside the community. It is easy to dismiss or judge what we don't understand. It is easy to have false understanding of what we can not know. But it is more accurate to admit that we don't understand something, that we don't know much about it, that it is a mystery.

Mariatheos can be known.

However capacity to know Mariatheos is very little in most people. Thus it seems futile to try and communicate anything about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. However it is possible that over time some people's awareness of Mariatheos will increase. Probably any inchoate

community of awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will remain obscure for many years.

Although there is writing that portrays discovery of Mariatheos, inspiration is a mystery and if some people find inspiration from reading what is available, they are open to awareness given by Angels and Holly Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Any development of an awareness community of Mariatheos would be from Holy Spirit of Mariatheos.

Although prayer to Mariatheos is possible, probably almost no one prays to Mariatheos at the time of the writing of this book.

Only if Mariatheos is revealed to you by Her Holy Spirit, will you know Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

24 miscellaneous stories and fragments

Fredonia (older version)

After the capital of the Roman empire moved to Constantinople; the Christian church grew large and became the state sponsored religion of the empire. Devotion to Maria (Mary) has always been an aspect of the church; it was the protestant church that discouraged such devotion. But all Christian churches understand God as the Father; and God as the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Nowhere is there an idea that God is Mother; even though curiously there is prayer to Maria, Mother of God; but Maria is not God!

Approximately one and one half millennia ago, there was a bishop of the church in Constantinople who was fervent in prayer including to Maria Mother of God. But one night in prayer he could not help but pray: Maria, Mother and God; and in shock he heard in his mind a woman's voice, "yes my son, Mother who is God."; and he felt a gentle ecstasy. Obviously he told no one; but the same prayers and confirmation continued for months; and his confidence in the certainty of this revelation grew. However he went on as usual in performing the liturgy of the church as the Church expected.

Over years the bishop was guided as to whom he could share this revelation of Mariatheos. Mostly they experienced the new reality in private prayer; but in small gatherings at each other's homes they could pray together. Everyone knew they must be discreet; what was true for them would be considered heresy by the Church.

A wealthy landowner from the edge of the empire in eastern europe was staying in Constantinople for a while. One evening while visiting a relative's home, during dinner, his cousin was strongly motivated to share with him the love of Mariatheos. Stephen was immediately filled with grace. After returning to his lands, he was open to angelic guidance encouraging him to build a church and residences for a men's and women's monastic community.

After a couple of years, the bishop gave up his responsibilities in Constantinople and moved to and served as priest of the church Stephen had built. Many others also moved from Constantinople; they became members of the monastic communities or became servants of Stephen and lived on his land. The church was outwardly Christian but the devotions to Maria were extensive; inwardly they worshiped Mariatheos.

The community of Mariatheos that lived on the land that Stephen was lord of, enjoyed relative freedom to live in the grace of Mariatheos. However their angels could not guarantee Stephen's heirs would support their community, or that the land might not suffer conquest in the future. Thus the elders of the community were guided to seek out a more independent foundation for the community.

Shepherds with their flocks explored high mountain valleys; and in one remote valley they were overcome with a visitation of angels who told them to settle there. Over a decade simple shepherds' huts grew into a village.

Not long after Stephen had died; the bishop who was the original leader of the community passed away. Soon after his funeral almost all of the community of Mariatheos had relocated to the mountain valley village. Stephen's son was sad to see them go; but ambition focused his attention on managing his inheritance and finding a wife. The monastic communities had become empty; and the church with a new priest served the landlord's household, servants and peasants.

Over centuries of almost total isolation, the people of what became Fredonia evolved patterns of community very different than those of Europe and Asia. Fredonia filled several mountain valleys; but after a period of population growth the birthrate fell to maintain the same number of people for over a thousand years; even though there was almost no infant or child mortality and almost everyone enjoyed a long life.

In Fredonia the birthrate was low because women had sexual intimacy very rarely. The decision was not entirely up to each woman; the elder women of the household had to agree. The household as a whole was responsible for its children. A household contained approximately 25 to 40 women and children. Men lived separately; either in a field house or a village house.

Men only sometimes, and by invitation, visited a women's household. Only on very rare occasions did a man sleep over with the woman he was bonded to. But as strange as this seems to modern people; in Fredonia men felt greater love from women than most men of today, even those who are happily married. Marriage actually has less love within it than the community of fredonia had.

Fredonia was filled with love; worship of Mariatheos filled them with love that they shared with each other. Their patterns of community best engendered the cooperation that enabled them to gain the necessities of life from the land. Intensive and sustainable agriculture brought forth an abundance from a relatively small area. Enough to also feed the animals when natural fields of grass were not enough, especially in winter.

It was the cooperation and care for each other and especially for children which manifested how much love they had for each other. An intensity of love most modern people can barely imagine. In Fredonia the quality of their love totally displaced lust from their awareness. Unfortunately lust is all too common in modern society; and is often subtle and confused with love; lust is often all that some people in modern society know.

It must be emphasized that the source of love for fredonia was worship of Mariatheos. But also important was the understanding that the relationships of people with each other were to facilitate everyone being filled with love and life from Mariatheos as much as possible. Thus to hinder another's awareness of life was wrong; not only a wrong to another, but an interference with Mariatheos' love for her children.

Reverence for Mariatheos generated reverence for everyone. Since Mariatheos was the source of life; to seek gain from another, even to seek affection or attention, was futile; and possibly to some degree a hindrance to their life.

In Fredonia people respected each other's autonomy. Romantic love did not exist; for romantic love is a confusion of self and other. An unconscious false awareness that another's life is available to oneself. But since that is not actually possible, disillusionment is inevitable; and to some degree romantic love turns into its opposite.

What is normal in modern society did not exist in Fredonia; the small family household of one or two parents did not exist. The large matriarchal household insured that the tasks of childcare were the responsibility of about a dozen women; the birth mother had a special bond with her child but it coexisted with the love and care the child received from others.

Boys visited the men's households more as they got older; and learned the skills necessary for the tasks of agriculture, care of animals, cutting timber and wood working, pottery, tool making, and other craft work; eventually specializing in one set of skills. When young men were 17 years old, they left their childhood home and joined a men's household.

The economy of fredonia was gift based; most adults participated at some type of production; what was not kept for the household was given to other households; which might give some of that to other households. There was not a system of exchange of this for that; there was no money or its equivalent.

When eventually fredonia started to trade with the outside world; money stayed in the possession of the traders. If certain items fom the world were gained by trade, they might be given to other households. Trade with the world only grew in the 18th and 19th centuries. It was then that Fredonia started to change; their isolation from and ignorance of the larger world that lasted for over a thousand years, started to decrease.

The world was also changing; and it was not possible for fredonia to continue undisturbed as it had been for so long. The angels of the community encouraged trade especially with Vienna in the 18th century; and at the beginning of the 19th century gave a heart breaking revelation to the elders. All of Fredonia must move to America by the end of the 19th century; Fredonia would not be able to survive in Europe during the 20th century.

Fredonia had to learn a lot and develop a lot in order to accomplish the huge task of emigration. But a lot was lost; early in the 19th century the angels of fredonia requested that as much as possible be written down about their past ways of life before so much was to change. Fredonia must become more like the modern world. They must learn to live within it and conform enough so as to avoid persecution.

The most substantial change was the adoption of marriage and men and women living together. The extended family became the basis of the household for several decades before emigration.

Traders became business men, and helped by angelic wisdom, were able to gain moderate fortunes in Vienna over the 19th century; which they used to finance the emigration of everyone in fredonia; and which helped them to start businesses in America; which provided decent work for the fredonian community in America.

At the beginning of the 20th century there were fredonian communities in about a dozen cities from Boston to St Louis. The communities prospered in America; but they also adopted american ways of life.

Assimilation by the time of the 1960's had disintegrated any cultural distinction of those with fredonian ancestry; with one important exception. The Church of Fredonia persisted but with only a very small community of people who participated; most of whom either worked for the church or lived in its small monastic residences for women.

The churches were built early in the 20th century when all of the fredonian community in America participated. Gifts to the churches especially in the wills of many who passed away during the first half of the century; enabled the churches to accumulate large endowments which could fund the churches even as their congregations decreased.

The church libraries contained much knowledge of the history of Fredonia; and of its religion before changes brought it closer to orthodox christianity so that it would be accepted in America. Especially its matriarchal spiritual awareness was obscured and the trinity given prominence; but with substantial devotion to Maria.

The main cause of the decline of the church of fredonia; was that over time as young adults married other americans, they joined those larger established churches, especially the Catholic church.

There were some children of the fredonian community born in america who sensed the love from their family and extended family, was absent in the larger society. As young adults they saw their friends marry but were afraid to do so; there was too much uncertainty about life in America.

For these sensitive souls, they found refuge in the church of fredonia. They did not marry. Women joined the monastic community of the church. Men lived in small apartments in the neighborhood and either worked for the church or spent as much time there as possible.

After world war two, the congregations of the churches of fredonia were very small. Concern about the fate of the church was given to prayer by many. What some were beginning to be led to do was to rediscover the religion of fredonia before the reforms of the 19th century.

Some spent years in the churches' libraries; and in prayer many in many of the churches of fredonia were convinced the church should restore the matriarchal focus of the religion. To pray directly to Mariatheos; to worship Mariatheos. By the middle of the 1960's the Church of Fredonia had evolved considerably.

In the 1960's some women in america were exploring women centric spirituality. The church of fredonia started to gain women members who discovered in the church joyful awareness from Mariatheos, mother of all life; and for those who were open, sublime love from Mariatheos.

By the 21st century the churches were full; but it was not yet time to expand beyond the number of churches built by the fredonian community of the early 20th century. There was one problem that persisted; and that was how few men participated. However the churches were full of joy of women who found their mother of life.

Much of the focus of women in the church was on establishing matriarchal households inspired by those of european fredonia centuries ago. It took a lot of work to renovate a small apartment building or multi-family house to serve the new group households. It took a lot of prayer and discussion to develop the cooperative patterns that would nurture about 2 dozen women and children. It took a lot of love and wisdom.

Luke was one of the few men who from time to time attended the worship celebration of Mariatheos at the church of fredonia in Boston. He had extensive background in meditation and was able to attain what is known as emptiness. emptiness of thought and to some extent emotion; emptiness of the reactionism of the mind that most people do not question. Or if they do question it because it generates chronic suffering, find it difficult to be free of.

Luke had early in his adulthood dedicated himself to the practice of sitting still; observing his mind go on and on. But eventually it would quiet and he would feel peaceful. Over years his capacity for quiet mind increased; but also what developed was an openness to spirit guides; and it was they who encouraged him to go to the church of fredonia.

Luke's experience while at the church was a confusion of hope and distress, grace and grief; however he had the ability to observe his experience as best he could. But it was just close to intolerable. So he resisted going back to the church but was encouraged to do so;

which he did at times over the year.

Luke underwent an intense personal spiritual education that year. Spiritual guidance encouraged some reading of psychology books. At some point he realized within him was existential grief that almost everyone found a way to overcome; but it remained unconscious and at times like the molten rock underneath the earth, could rise to the surface and produce great distress.

Separation from an infant's mother generated such existential grief. Most people felt enough love so as to grow into autonomy; but that autonomy was to some extent limited. For some more than others it could disintegrate at times and existential grief might be experienced to some degree.

Autonomy is really beneficial relationship with others; even the countless anonymous cooperative patterns of pragmatic participation. If patterns decay or limitations of relationship are realized; autonomy can experientially disintegrate to some extent. Realization of powerlessness and helplessness is existential crisis.

Men are psychologically weaker than women. At some levels of crisis it is possible to compensate, for many women, by being their own mother. Men do not have that capacity.

Some women have the capacity to know God as Mother because women have capacity to be mother. God as Mother can affirm their self awareness; in other words awareness from Mother God does not necessarily conflict with self. But for men God as Mother is more likely to reveal grief of self beneath the compensatory self they have developed.

Some women joined the church of fredonia but almost no men did so. But Luke's intense spiritual development gave him the capacity to teach other men how to gain enough emptiness of their compensatory (thus relatively false) self so that they could become open to love from Mariatheos.

Existential crisis could itself be observed and become empty to some degree; which then allows an influx of awareness of life and love. It is possible to realize that eternal universal Life is the source of our existence. There can also be the realization that the self is an aspect or function of a person's being but not the center of one's existence.

Life and Love are universal; you are a portion of universal eternal life. Life is spiritual and pours into all biological life; but form is temporal and can decay. Patterns of awareness can also decay. Thus it is possible to transcend limited patterns of awareness that are habitual, common, and perhaps normal; but from a spiritual perspective they are relatively false.

Luke consulted with some of the elders of the church. They supported him and made available a space within which he could teach and guide a group of men to develop the capacity to gain awareness of Life and Love from Mariatheos. Many women of the church knew men who had some motivation to participate in the church but just felt too uncomfortable.

What was in effect a spiritual mystery school (much of what is mystery is psyche) was called the fraternal order of fredonia (FOF). From that first group came leaders of other schools at other churches. Eventually FOF established men's monastic communities devoted to Mariatheos.

The fraternal order of fredonia was a crucial part of the community of Mariatheos; they served the women's households; eventually they had a similar relationship with the matriarchal households as was the relationship of the men's field and village households with the women's households of European Fredonia.

During the early part of the 21st century the communities that worshipped Mariatheos were mature enough so that they could begin helping new communities develop in other cities and towns; and by that time the name of the church had become the Church of Mariatheos.

Mariatheos (fragment)

Many within the church of Mariatheos believe Jesus was an incarnation of god who fully knew his mother was God.

Mariatheos is source of love. People in prayer to Mariatheos experience Her love. People have various degree of capacity for such direct prayer. The difficult aspect of religious life is gaining capacity; usually contemplation is necessary for development of such capacity.

The church of Mariatheos does not explain everything; but it is comprehensive; in that it explains the context of experience. Life and void are primary reality; life interrelates with void to create multiplicity and diversity of pattern. Thus a vast complex reality exists; but very little is known.

To gain emptiness of relatively false patterns of awareness is the difficult aspect of discovery of Mariatheos. If you have capacity, She is there; in that sense Her love is unconditional. But Her Life and Love can not be known if what is being known is blocking awareness of Her; especially if what is being known is defacto contextual; if it seems somehow causal.

Ohio

A few years before this new millennium, 8 pilgrims to Lourdes in France (where an apparition of Our Lady in the 19th century became a place of healing and pilgrimage since then) returned to their home towns in Ohio and resumed their ordinary lives.

About a year latter each of them started to have vivid dreams of Mother Mary. After months the divine mother revealed to them that she is Maria who is God; that the true trinity is Mother, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Jesus knew his Mother was God; but had to talk to the people within the religious awareness they had. There are many angels and spiritual beings and the patriarchal god is just one of them. There can be no objective proof as to which deific spirit is primary; only personal awareness or community awareness makes that determination.

The 8 pilgrims were from different catholic churches in southern Ohio; but they were in frequent communication about their similar individual revelations. They were a spiritual awareness community distinct from the much larger institutional church. They were in a dilemma; no one yet wanted to leave their church.

One sunday a visiting priest spoke at one of the churches; he said that he belonged to a group of priests that had deep Marian devotion. Surprisingly he criticized the Church for partly abandoning the Holy Mother who was weeping for Her Church that was deaf to Her call for holiness. He called on all Catholics to repent of focus on the world; and return to the arms of their Holy Mother.

There was really little that the visiting priest said that was contrary to church doctrine. But the emphasis and tone were to the margins of what was usual. For almost everyone it was just another call to holiness that gets ignored by the gravitational pull of habitual awareness.

But one couple who had gone on pilgrimage to Lourdes, heard him; and the effect of his talk was to exert a gravitational pull out of the Church. Their conviction of their private revelation increased as the visiting priest's implied critique of the Church for rejecting the Holy Mother, allowed them to reject the ties of the institutional church that held them in place.

The group of 8 started a store front church in a town halfway between Columbus and Cincinnati. Maria Mother And God Church was open 7 evenings a week. Much of it was music; which quickly gathered not only an audience but several gifted musicians. Several of the women sang so beautifully that many who listened were in an altered state of spiritual joy.

Everyone participated in group prayer that was partly song and partly chant; which was easier for those with limited singing ability. There was almost no talk; there was avoidance of theological argument. Mother Maria communicates with those who are open. For those who were closed, they just did not go to Her Church. If someone becomes open, Mother God can be known.

Crisis and Conversion

Peter was a successful real estate developer in Columbus Ohio. Mostly he bought old large buildings that outlived their original purpose; schools, office buildings, factories; and renovated them into condos.

After 2 decades he was very knowledgeable and very wealthy. But his wife suddenly left him for a slightly younger, sexier, and more attentive man (but less wealthy). Peter felt a freight train hit him.

He took on no new projects and delegated as much as possible the completion of projects in process. He left his house as little as possible. He drank an half bottle of bourbon an evening and watched old Hollywood movies late into the night.

A year and an half after his wife left him; Peter had closed his office and became a total recluse. He resented others for their successful marriages; and at the same time was skeptical any marriage was safe from shipwreck. Obviously everyone assumed he was suffering severe depression that being stubborn he woud not seek help for.

Peter was judging the world as a realm that could cast anyone at anytime into catastrophe. The New York Times was a very good confirmation of how horrible the world was. Thus although he was miserable he also felt he was seeing reality more clearly.

Peter judged all who were happy as lucky in their illusions. He was lucky he could afford to avoid the world. He watched a lot of television; and out of curiosity he started to watch EWTN, the Catholic religious channel.

He lost his faith as a teenager; and assumed the catholic church was a holdover from the old days when people were ignorant and folk tales were all people had. But now he was not sure he believed in progress; human misery was not solved for by modern science and technology.

Peter was willing to suspend his disbelief at times and get lost in the alternative reality of Catholic television. One night he had a vivid dream ; mother Mary appeared radiant beautiful floating in clouds; she spoke: "Peter my son, my love is with you, believe in me." Peter woke up and felt loved for the first time in a long time.

Peter did not become a Catholic. He was still distrustful of people and felt uncomfortable around them; it disturbed his interior life from the contrast with their very different personal or societal awareness. Peter's private prayer life and devotion to Divine Mother did not conform to Church doctrine; he stopped watching Catholic television.

For him, Divine Mother was God; for him, Jesus was Her Divine Son who has been adopted by those who can not give up the world and thus need forgiveness. For those who have given up the world they need God as Mother to keep them in Her Love.

Five years after his conversion to Marianism; his prayer life was so deep that Mother Maria had clear interior communication with him: "it is time, Peter, for you to build my church. I know how much you love; it is time to love those in the world who have need of a church where they can more experience their Mother who is their God."

Peter felt joy to serve Her but dreaded having to deal with the world. "Just be in my love; do not look to others for anything. Only know that they might be able to more know my love if you give them a place to find me. You are primarily to provide the physical space. Others will lead the community; and they will be women."

Peter bought an abandoned church building in Columbus; had restoration and renovation work done; and waited for guidance. Then he put an ad in a women's spirituality journal asking for those interested in being director of a new church of Divine Mother Maria, to send letters.

He was guided as to who to ask to come to Columbus for an interview (expenses paid); and of those he was guided to ask one to accept the position. Gloria had a deep awareness of Maria as God, Mother of Life, for many years. She knew it was her destiny to serve Her via some large responsibility; but she must wait while developing the capacity to do so.

Gloria hired a team of women ministers. The Church of Divine Mother Maria grew at first in Columbus and then in Ohio; and eventually in much of America during the 21st century. Most of the membership were women but a good portion were men.

Church of Mariatheos

The church of Mariatheos requires holiness; not absolute holiness, which is not possible in the world; but relative holiness to what exists on average within modern society. Thus although the church of Mariatheos is an alternative to the Christian church (which is very diverse); the church of Mariatheos has much spiritual awareness that has some degree of commonality with that of the Christian church especially in past eras.

The church of Mariatheos' awareness of spiritual virtue conflicts with the common awareness that most people in the world have. Most participants in the church have some degree of common awareness of their self in the world; but are engaged in decreasing it. That process can be distressful; thus it is purgatorial.

In other words, some degree of suffering motivates acceptance of incremental transformation of awareness. For some people it might seem that god does not love them; but it is only false self in world awareness that is not affirmed. Thus in every day purgatory false self decays; this allows incremental development of personal awareness of spiritual reality; which includes god's love.

The Church of Mariatheos is an evolution of spiritual community. It is matriarchal. God is Mother of all Life. The leadership are women. Church sponsored households contain from 20 to 40 women and children.

There is a men's organization distinct from the Church but has as its purpose to serve the Church and the women's households; but men have no authority over women at all; only the privilege of service. The men worship Mariatheos also. At times they join the women at their church. But mostly the men engage in severe purgatorial process of contemplation, introspection, incremental transformation of awareness, and education. They are in a spiritual school named the fraternal order of fredonia.

The church originally came from small remote settlements in several mountain valleys in eastern europe. Fredonia was isolated from the rest of the world for over a thousand years. But the entire community emigrated to America in the late 19th century; which required that over the previous decades, the community had to change in order to adapt to the modern world.

The church of fredonia in America was different from the religion of fredonia; which was so integrated into every day life that there was no distinct church. The form of the church and much of its liturgy were adopted in the 19th century from the eastern orthodox church .

Much else was adopted from european society in order for the fredonian community to emigrate and be accepted in America. Especially the household changed; marriage and the living together of men and women was a fundamental change. The matriarchal nature of the fredonian community insured that men respected and served women. But women had to adjust to the needs of men who until the changes of the 19th century lived in their own households in fredonia.

It was necessary for most of the changes to happen many decades before emigration so the new patterns of community became familar and habitual. The disruption of emigration was severe; the adjustments necessary were only possible because of the many decades of change before.

Why would fredonia change so much and leave their homeland? Early in the 19th century the leadership of fredonia were being told by their angelic guides that fredonia must emigrate to America by the end of the 19th century. Fredonia would not survive in Europe in the 20th century. Brutal empires and severe wars would destroy much of Europe; and fredonia would be especially vulnerable.

The guidance was persistent and most of those open to angelic wisdom were aware; but the grief and shock were substantial. It took a decade of deep prayer by many before the community could accept such a burden. Their faith in Mariatheos and Her angels had to compensate for the loss of ways of life that provided deep satisfaction.

Their ways of life must change so as to more conform with the larger societies fredonia was in isolation from for more than a thousand years. The differences between fredonia and the societies of Europe or America, were large. The size of that gulf had to decrease substantially by the time of the emigration.

They had to learn how to live in normal society. To some degree especially in the beginning new patterns of life were engaged in as if a game. But a half century latter they were assumed to be normal; and even before the emigration, the ways of life of fredonia were history.

But early in the 19th century as much as possible was written down that portrayed those ways of life; in the middle of the 19th century the encyclopedia of fredonia was written and printed books produced by 1875. The encyclopedia would prove invaluable in the 20th century for those who wanted to discover the ways of old European fredonia.

Elsewhere is written more about what those ways of life were like; what needs emphasis is that they provided inspiration for developments within the Church of Mariatheos of the 21st century.

Not everyone who wanted to join the church of Mariatheos was accepted. There were two worship gatherings a month open to the public. The church was very forthright that only some had the capacity to develop holiness; if someone was rejected and they really did have such capacity, then they could develop holiness on their own or in other spiritual communities; so a rejection did not really harm the person.

Many wanted to join the church from an aspiration for community that was human but not necessarily spiritual; from a desire to be loved. Unfortunately in the human realm the desire to be loved is mostly thwarted. That grief is a foundational aspect of the purgatorial purpose of the human realm; which is mostly not understood.

For most people foundational grief is to some degree obscured; often by human love. But human love can decrease; no one can control others. Attempts at control eventually prove futile; and to try and force another's love is especially false. So human love is inherently uncertain; one can not even control one's ability to love.

The false aspects of human love can only be learned if there is also development of capacity for spiritual awareness. It is from some degree of spiritual awareness that develops realization of the false nature of most human awareness. That human awareness is limited and can generate suffering does not alone allow someone to be aware of how it is false.

Spiritual awareness has several modalities. One basic modality is observation of human experience; another is acceptance of human experience; another is transcendence of human experience. Other modalities of spiritual awareness are: spiritual grace, faith, and spiritual love which can be felt to originate from spirit, angels, deities, or god.

Depending on how one's religion portrays god, that has influence on how one experiences love from god. Thus in the church of Mariatheos, Mariatheos mother of all life is the source of spiritual love. Purgatorial transformation of human awareness allows awareness of love from Mariatheos.

Kirkland

About 30 miles south west of Boston was the small city of Kirkland. By the start of the 21st century it had become a successful and unusual tourist town; gaining visitors from the Boston and Providence metropolitan areas; and some visitors from further away who stayed in its boutique hotels.

The start of Kirkland's transformation was in 1975 when the Star City Cabaret opened. An extravagant expensive entertainment; a retro mashup of Brazilian carnival, world music and dance, and New Orleans jazz. The food was Asian/Cajun; and the ale, wine, and whiskey, very fine.

It was located in Kirkland by chance. The owner had capital and a dream. The company in town he worked for went bankrupt. But he liked Kirkland; and it was cheaper to buy an old building in downtown Kirkland and renovate it; than to try and do that in Boston.

He felt that if something is really spectacular people will seek it out. Most upper middle class people lived in the suburbs anyway; they had to drive to Boston to go to a fancy restaurant, nightclub, or the theatre; and driving and parking in Boston was an ordeal. So they would drive to Kirkland if it had something extraordinary.

After the success of Star City Cabaret, entrepreneurs saw a bandwagon they could jump onto. They copied the retro design of Star City but opened up less ambitious establishments. Over years, restaurants, bars, cafes, music clubs, all opened and adopted a retro aesthetic. The older architecture of Kirkland contributed to the alternative reality of a visit there. A prosperous tourist town had developed that continued into the 21st century.

The universal creation church was started in Portland Oregon by Steve Miller and his friends. A few years before, some of them had quit a commune in eastern Oregon and formed a group household in the same area. Steve got a job trucking produce to Portland. One day while driving he had an epiphany; frustration and confusion with the religion he was taught at the commune were solved for by the realizations that flooded him after stopping his truck.

Steve Miller's group household soon became crowded with people who wanted to hear him talk. He conveyed the experience of knowing all was in unity. Either one looked at how separate things were or how they were all interrelated and contained within larger patterns, fields, or realms. He portrayed god as the ultimate unity; thus no one was separate from god; even limited awareness that focused on separateness was part of the unity.

For many it was easier to be aware of the universal unity of creation while listening to Steve; so there was a hunger to listen to him talk; so Steve talked. Fortunately some were inspired to write songs expressing the joy of universal unity. They would perform with a couple other musicians at the gatherings at Steve's house.

The house was getting too crowded. Someone rented an empty retail space in Portland; someone else rented a house. Steve and a few friends and the musicians moved to Portland. The Universal Creation Church of Portland was begun.

After several years in Portland, the church had several who could preach/teach and others who could perform songs of celebration. Steve and a few others were feeling a strong urge to start another church in another city.

Over 15 years, Steve Miller and his leadership team had established a universal creation church in: Portland Oregon, Santa Rosa California, Boulder Colorado, Omaha Nebraska, Louisville Kentucky, Asheville North Carolina, Binghamton New York, and Kirkland Massachusetts.

By the time they resided in Kirkland they were tired of uprooting themselves every couple years. Some had young children and felt it would be unfair to them to continue relocating. So they all knew Kirkland would be the last stop on a journey that was basically west to east across the United States.

The church in Kirkland grew; eventually the original space was being used every evening and several afternoons a week. It was a store front on a side street off of the main entertainment and restaurant street of town. From the sidewalk a person could look through the large windows to rows of chairs facing a low platform at the back.

If a church gathering was going on they might see Steve facing front preaching, often gesturing with his arms and hands for emphasis. Or they might see a few singers and guitarists performing. There was no electronic amplification; so the sound was muffled for those outside. But a large sign stated: Visitors very welcome; please come in and feel free to leave at any time. And some of the curious ventured in.

The churches Steve left behind only suffered a little without his charisma and wisdom. But they had some growth. The Universal Creation Churches scattered across America provided a needed alternative church community for those alienated from their experience in the evangelical or pentecostal churches they grew up in. Some still hungered for a church community and welcomed the non-dogmatic and open spiritual world view.

The understanding of god communicated allowed individual personal experience without forcing it into a belief system; and without judging others' beliefs. The celebration of life is to some extent instinctive in humanity; diverse religion can express that....however unfortunately for some people suffering seems dominant; and available community can not necessarily solve for it. Their alienation is persistent.

Paul Stonefield moved out of his mother's house after he dropped out of college. He moved to Kirkland where he got a job as a dishwasher. He was lonely. Although he had a couple friends he could visit, get stoned, and drink beer with; he mostly kept to himself.

He walked Comercial street with all the restaurants and bars; in a slightly altered state of fascination, but also envy and depression. He would never go in any place; mostly he could not afford to; but also he was ashamed of himself. Sometimes he would go to Lucky's Diner, where there were customers of all economic strata.

Paul saved some money with the hope of someday leaving Kirkland. His resentment of visitors having a good time persisted; perhaps leaving town might partly solve for depression. After 5 years his older sister helped him move to Oakport; a friend of hers had a friend in a house in Oakport with a vacant room. She had been a little worried about her brother and thought his moving to Oakport would be good for him. It was.

Oakport was a small village on Essex bay about 7 miles north west of Gloucester. It was almost an island; surrounded by water and marshland; what was in effect a causeway was a road that went through the marshes to the town of Essex.

Geographically isolated, by some historical accident, it had become by the end of the 20th century an unique and desirable place to live. Populated from young people who thru a network of rumor and shared knowledge, discovered Oakport as being a hip place to live; removed from the intensity of Boston but not a boring suburban town.

Almost half depopulated in the early post world world war two era; its population grew until it reached a maximum shortly before the year 2000. Geography, zoning, and the moral force of the Oakport historical society; limited the number of residences, whether apartments, condos, or houses.

Although Paul's life got better in Oakport; he eventually became a cook at a local cafe; he still remained a little strange and thus alienated from people. He had some friends but no girlfriend; and that maintained a chronic level of grief for his 15 years he spent in Oakport. He did however begin a spiritual search that increased in intensity over the years.

By the time he moved back to Kirkland; Paul felt a level of satisfaction in his solitude; and could leave his few friends in Oakport; who were as much a source of distress for him as they were a source of a degree of happiness.

Paul expected to be alone in Kirkland. He got a job as a cook at Lucky's Diner; the diner became his world. He worked long hours. But often when not working he would sit at a table with a sketch book; observing others, being in contemplation, or talking with those who sat down to join him. He mostly listened; and to signal he was not listening anymore began drawing. He had acquaintances but not friends; he did not engage in the deeper rapport necessary for friendship.

A year or so after moving back to Kirkland; Paul became curious about the universal creation church and sat in on a gathering. He sort of liked it; there was nothing he was not already familiar with. But hearing what he knew was true; helped him to have experiential awareness of it. And the music gave him a bit of joy.

Gina was a devout Catholic in her heart. But she stopped going to church from disgust with the abuse scandals of the Catholic Church. She still prayed, especially devotions to Mother Mary. She started to go to the universal creation church in Kirkland, and enjoyed being in community. The theology was a little strange to her; but she was not dogmatic in her catholic understanding and could easily reconcile what she believed with what she heard at her new church.

The universal creation church recognized the value of all religion. Obviously they did not believe any group's exclusivity claims or their judgment about others. But all religion had some value in showing people some of universal spiritual reality; the universal source of all life; and some of the unity of creation. Unfortunately, often other religion was unnecessarily dualistic; emphasizing heaven vs hell, god vs satan, life vs death.

The universal creation church had much in common with the spiritual teachings of nonduality; which were gaining influence in the west and in fact had some western teachers. However in effect the church more communicated awareness of holy spirit; and had less emphasis on deconstruction of false awareness of self and world. Affirmation of holy spirit was welcomed by many with a christian background.

From time to time at a church gathering; there would be a guest speaker from other spiritual communities. One evening Gina was there when a minister from the Church of Mariatheos (church of Fredonia) in Boston gave a talk. She told of the "Love from Mariatheos, God and Mother of all life; life universal, eternal, and spiritual."

"However it does take humility to become aware of Her Life and Love." The minister explained that "humans are god for others; parents for children, and community and society for people. Thus, to be crude, personal awareness is full of corruption of life and love; for unfortunately people are severely limited in their capacity to serve and care for others; mostly out of ignorance but also from selfishness."

"Thus to discover God's Love is to detach from habitual patterns of awareness; including assumptions, attitudes, and expectations; that are as much emotional as of thought; and mostly unconscious. Thus contemplation of personal awareness is necessary. But it is helpful to know the angels of Mariatheos are with you always."

"The Church of Fredonia or other churches can help you; by showing you that it is possible to know Life and Love from Mother God . I thank the universal creation church for their ecumenical fellowship; you have a wonderful group here.".... For most of the talk, Gina was entranced; she did feel Love, and it was similar to what she felt at times while in prayer to Mother Mary.

Gina traveled to Boston to visit the Church of Fredonia and buy some books from the church store. But she felt called to share her joy of knowledge of Mariatheos with her universal creation church community in Kirkland. The church allowed her to lead a gathering once a week where prayer and song were devoted to Mariatheos; and Gina enthusiastically conveyed awareness of Life and Love from Mariatheos.

Unfortunately men avoided Gina's gatherings for some unknown reason; they just felt uncomfortable. Most women of the church kept going to the usual church gatherings where god was more amorphous and not a Deity. The Monday gatherings that celebrated Mariatheos remained distinct from the rest of the universal creation church.

Luke Smith attended some of the church gatherings worshiping Mariatheos. He did feel spiritual love while listening to Gina speak, and during the music and song; but he also felt grief that was distressful. So he stopped going but did not stop thinking about it. He knew men avoided Gina's gatherings; there must be something in men that blocked their ability to be aware of God who is Mother.

Luke was at the church gathering where the minister from the Fredonian Church spoke months before. He remembered what she said; humans are god for each other, especially parents for children. Luke speculated that unconscious memory of ones human mother filled ones capacity to know god; thus if awareness of god does not conflict with that then there is room so to speak.

Thus most people can more easily accept a distant god who's holy spirit can fill the available space within personal awareness and psyche. For most men, another woman in romantic relationship is god; being congruent with unconscious memory of human mother as god. Mariatheos as God might conflict with their need for a human woman to be their god.

Luke felt his thought was being guided by the angels of Mariatheos. He felt he was discovering wisdom not only of value for him; but for other men; if he could eventually teach what was being revealed to him.

Over months of contemplation, Luke began to experience some grace from Mariatheos; he had observed within psyche the intimacy of an infant with their mother; but also the grief of needs unfulfilled; from any degree of neglect. A child grew up and gained autonomy; and gained affirmation from different people; but the depth of need for affirmation is often larger than what is gained.

People are limited in what they can give; yet they look to each other to gain what they can. Inherently human community is limited.....thus a bowl full of dirt and stones can hold only a little water; an empty bowl can hold its full capacity of water. Human awareness is full of broken patterns of mind; but they resist getting thrown out.

There must be some decrease of relatively false self and world awareness before there is more openness to awareness of life; the source of which can be known as god. Thus Luke realized because awareness of god as Mariatheos is intense; that requires a deeper emptiness than most people have capacity for.

Some women are lucky in that their self awareness is relatively of life; thus awareness of god as Mariatheos affirms their awareness of life without needing their self awareness to alter much; and in fact affirms their awareness of being woman; of being mother. But many women have too much broken patterns of awareness to to be able to know Mariatheos.

Thus Luke understood almost all men and a good portion of women would need help in developing openness; would need in effect a spiritual school where they could do the work of slowly and incrementally transforming their limited awareness into awareness of Life; eternal, universal, spiritual; awareness of Mariatheos Mother of all Life.

The Church of Mariatheos in Boston had a program providing individual counseling giving guidance as to how to become open to god's grace. There were some women who had the wisdom and love necessary to help other women discover and transcend their false patterns of self and world awareness. Personal counseling was effective but also helpful were talks by ministers describing general principles and common problems.

Worship services flood the congregation with awareness of Love from Mariatheos, Mother of all Life. Spiritual Love dissolves limitations within personal awareness, but usually incrementally. Community participation also tends to decrease resistance to awareness of Life. Thus the church of Mariatheos has been a community of women growing in awareness of Life and Love from Mariatheos.

Church of Fredonia

The church of Mariatheos was an evolution of the church of fredonia. The formal change of name was in the spring of 2000. The church had been growing for several decades in the latter part of the 20th century; after having decreased substantially in the decades before that. The fredonian community had emigrated to America in the late 19th century but was small compared to the much larger European immigration of the same era.

In about a dozen cities in America the fredonians had a community, each of which had a church; including Boston, in an area west of Massachusetts avenue. In general the communities prospered; and most communities could afford to build aesthetically fine church buildings with attached facilities and residences for clergy.

The full use of those churches was not for more than a couple decades before the congregations decreased, especially after world war two. Ironically the success of the fredonian community in America generated its decline as a distinct community. Assimilation and especially marriage with those outside the fredonian community decreased cultural identity.

Participation in the church of fredonia decreased. Many people moved far away from the original immigrant communities. Fortunately the churches accumulated substantial donations before the fredonian communities dissipated which kept the churches going even as the number participating kept getting smaller.

Each church had a library containing hundreds of books including the encyclopedia of fredonia; both the German edition printed before the emigration, and the English edition printed in 1904 in Boston. The fredonian community had learned German in the 18th century and it was the language they printed their books in.

Fredonish was not much of a written language; their ancient holy books were written in ancient Greek; including some books of the new testament. Its language evolved from Greek, Latin, and Slavic influences. Fredonia was located in a small area in the mountains of eastern europe.

Fredonia existed relatively undisturbed for about 12 centuries before its elders kept getting persistent prophecy early in the 19th century that they must prepare to leave their homeland by the end of the century and relocate to America. Great catastrophe would befall them if they did not leave europe before the 20th century.

The community of fredonia had to change much about their ways of life so as to detach from their villages, make the journey to America, and live in the much larger society of America. The elders did not question their being given such prophecy; only they could not help being burdened with grief over their loss. But spiritual guidance compensated; and the religion itself altered so as to facilitate such changes.

Religion was fused with the life of people in Fredonia. Awareness of God, Mariatheos Mother of Life, was inseparable from the whole of the natural and human environment. Their social and cultural patterns were a necessary aspect of the community's sanctification. But before the emigration, their religion must be separated out from its association with their environment and traditional patterns of community. So it would be portable so to speak and could travel with them into the modern world.

Before Fredonia started to change there was little awareness of duality; except that Fredonia was separate from the larger world; unavoidably the larger world of humanity was considered closer to hell. Contact with the world was limited; but by the 18th century there was enough order and some level of prosperity within the Austrian Hungarian empire that fredonian traders ventured to Vienna to sell village crafts.

Trade was how knowledge of the outside world grew in fredonia. After the prophecy, there was more urgency for business in Vienna; the traders became investors in commerce. They gained some moderate wealth that was used not only to enable the emigration of the community but also its establishment in America.

They also gained knowledge that contributed to the ability of the community to function in society much different than the villages they were used to . So even before they traveled to America; their village ways of life were guided to change to conform somewhat to what life would be like in the new world.

The religion changed; it became closer to Orthodox Christianity. Prayer to Mariatheos became prayer to Mother Maria, or Saint Maria. God the father was brought back to the liturgy; more emphasis was given to Jesus the Christ.

But more experientially necessary was that the idea of mother god immanent within all natural and community life; evolved into the idea of god ( publicly Father God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, but privately Mother God,) being transcendent of the world. They had to accept that life in the world was only partly that of the fullness of Life in Heaven, which awaits people in the afterlife.

Thus suffering in the world was not avoidable; but those who could contemplate the Source of Life (god) would have more awareness of joy of life than they would otherwise. For unfortunately suffering would increase for fredonia especially after leaving; but the realization that they would have to leave already introduced more suffering into the community than during their centuries of sheltered existence within the mountain valleys of fredonia.

The angels of Mariatheos were giving the community as much advantage as possible. The more than half century of preparation reduced the amount of potential suffering during the journey and while in America. The fredonian merchants in Vienna were well suited to set up shop in America; they were able to create business enterprise that hired much of the immigrant fredonian community and treat them fairly.

After world war two, with the decline of a self conscious fredonian american community; a small portion of the community remained devoted participants of the church. Some were clergy, some led a monastic life. Each church residence had a group of celibate women devoted to prayer and study of the devotional texts of the church as well as its history and the history of fredonia.

Many of the devoted women of the church advocated for the return to a full restoration of the celebration and worship of Mariatheos. Post war America was tolerant of religious diversity. Fear of persecution motivated, before the emigration of fredonia, the adoption of some degree of conformity with orthodox christianity; but that was no longer necessary.

They had discovered in their reading of early 19th century prophecy; that was translated into german and later printed into books ( part of 19th century preparation in fredonia was to put as much as possible into text); that an aspect of divine purpose of the emigration was for the eventual blessing of the world with knowledge that the church had, and it alone.

The religious of the post war fredonian church understood that prophecy as motivation to bring as much as possible that was obscured back to full recognition. Both the religion and community of european fredonia were matriarchal. The post war decline of the worship community indicated the church had become archaic. Perhaps the older religion of fredonia lost in the emigration, might be more relevant.

By the time of the growth of the women's movement in America; the church of fredonia had restored its full matriarchal nature. Some women discovered the church and joined; not as many as who joined other women centered spiritual groups; but slowly the church of fredonia grew in the number of people who participated.

By the start of the 21st century there were also group households with women and children modeled after those existing in fredonia before the 19th century. For more than a decade there was growing enthusiasm for a change of name of the church. The church was in America; very few had any fredonian heritage; and a change of name would more clearly celebrate Mariatheos. So the church of fredonia became the church of Mariatheos.

Fraternal order of Fredonia

In spite of the growth of the church of Mariatheos; there was a problem that persisted (until Luke Smith created the fraternal order of fredonia).

A strong community of women is an intimidation to most men; there were no men who belonged to the church. Men who had their own spiritual life might be fiends of women in the church; some were partners; and some were fathers.

But many mothers had little contact with the fathers of their children; many women lived in large group households of children and their mothers and older women and younger women without children. These cooperative households were dependent on the grace of Mariatheos to live as a loving community.

Luke Smith traveled from Kirkland to Boston and met with some of the clergy; he discussed his idea of starting a spiritual school for men that would enable them to develop capacity to discover awareness of Mariatheos.

Luke had an extensive engagement with zen Buddhism for over a decade. He was to some extent detached from his emotional and thought mind. Thus when he became aware of his inability to develop awareness of Mariatheos; even though he experienced a little awareness of Her while listening to women who did have awareness from Mariatheos; he had capacity to focus on psyche and discover the blocks.

Also he knew angels were guiding his contemplation. Thus after a year of contemplation and prayer; not only was he open to the Life and Love of Mariatheos; but he felt his purpose was to lead other men to Her.

He wanted to call his spiritual school the fraternal order of fredonia; thus it would be a community of men tangential to the community of women who worshiped Mariatheos and might be of service to them.

To Luke's surprise, the ministers of the church of Mariatheos insisted he move to Boston; they would pay him and make available space for his program. They were convinced he would be successful; they had prayed for years for a solution to the problem of men being unable to join the church; and they received angelic confirmation.

The fraternal order of Mariatheos became an elite community of men; however characteristic of them was great humility; they were aware of their emptiness. They were grateful for the love from their mother of life, Mariatheos; thus the greater their awareness of Love; the less awareness they had of their self.

Their patterns of life were devotion to the Source of all Life. The men of the fraternal order of Mariatheos were also grateful to the women of the church of Mariatheos, who as human angels have shown (chaste) love for them; the men attended some of the worship celebrations and were filled with joy by the music and song of the women.

Some of the men worked for the church; other men worked in the world and gave much of their income to the group households of women and children. Some men were teachers at the church school; some were fathers; but a father did not live with the woman he had sanctified intimacy with if she was in a group household. Children belonged to their household, not their parents; those children grew up in a community of love that was unique in the world.

The fraternal order of fredonia was a substantial contribution to the community of Mariatheos; but it did not change the matriarchal nature of the community. The community of Mariatheos of both women and men required a high level of spiritual commitment; and thus a rejection of the ways of the world.

The church of Mariatheos and the fraternal order of fredonia both grew during the 21st century; expanding to other cities throughout America. It is debatable what their influence was beyond their own religious communities; but as they grow their influence might become noticeable.

Fraternal order of Fredonia -2-

The fraternal order of fredonia understood itself as a community of men suffering the common awareness of men in the world; but with the awareness that it was limited; and that it was possible to discover awareness of reality. Necessarily discovery was slow and incremental; but even a little awareness of spiritual reality was motivation to continue on a long and difficult pilgrimage.

Twice a month a group of men from the fraternal order of fredonia were invited to the celebration of Mariatheos at a church; there they experienced the love of Mariatheos thru the expression of prayer, song, teaching, and testimony of the women of the church. Often men were crying as they left the church; they experienced what they did not have; the joy they experienced also revealed the grief of what was their common limited awareness.

The men of the fraternal order of fredonia spent many hours each week discovering both how their common awareness was relatively false; and how to become aware of higher levels of reality. They learned how to observe their experience; they learned how common assumptions and attitudes were false. They learned to accept emptiness of common self and world awareness.

Via acceptance of emptiness, the men of the fraternal order of fredonia could gain some higher levels of spiritual awareness; including transcendence; and awareness of Mariatheos, Who is Life and Love.

School for Holiness

The angels of the church of Mariatheos kept people from joining the church who did not have the capacity to empty their awareness of common patterns of knowledge; that relative to higher levels of spiritual awareness are false.

Emptiness of self is difficult to attain; self can not will itself to decrease; it is alternative awareness to self awareness that can accept emptiness of self.

Acceptance of emptiness is gained incrementally; from countless moments of realization that awareness can transcend habitual self awareness and common awareness of the world and personal circumstance. Unfortunately often motivation to shift basic modalities of awareness is from seeking to solve for persistent suffering.

A person can experience transcendence; but how a person recurringly attains moments of transcendent awareness, is defacto a purgatorial process. Common self in world awareness often seems not only real but has some satisfaction. Purgatory is the unavoidable decay of satisfaction within common awareness and the development of suffering or distress; but purgatory is also the development of capacity to solve for suffering.

Women who joined the church of Mariatheos were able to accept loss of personal power over others especially as to men. The power to affirm others and gain their dependency, is an unconscious dynamic of many people that looks like love; and within common awareness is assumed to be love.

However if conflict develops then what seemed to be friendship or love can turn into some degree of frustration, hostility, or even hatred.

Usually satisfaction from mutual affirmation alternates with dissatisfaction; this is to some extent considered normal. If however the negative aspect becomes severe; that relationship might be considered dysfunctional; but that judgement does not necessarily end the relationship. If it does end, people suffer the grief of loneliness; which often motivates new relationship; which often develops similar cycles of satisfaction and dissatisfaction; but perhaps more tolerable.

However some people sometimes realize their personal awareness is what limits their capacity for relationship; and some sort of process of introspection develops; usually with the contribution (from numerous diverse kinds possible) of a set of spiritual cultural understanding of personal awareness.

Although many women in the church of Mariatheos were inspired by the matriarchal households of old European Fredonia; there was much hesitation to organize matriarchal households in America. Discussion brought up a multitude of potential problems; which might not be possible to solve.

The elders of the church knew that no system of organization could solve for the kinds of spontaneous conflicts that can arise within any large group especially a household that would be a very large family. Only a high level of love could sustain such a household; not common kinds of love, which are more limited than most people want to admit.

Common kinds of love have more focus on self affirmation than is often realized. Thus the limitations of people in their capacity to love are extensive and mostly not understood. To go beyond those limitations requires a higher level of love that is inherently spiritual.

Higher levels of love are from gaining a level of holiness. In other words awareness from the source of life and love; who can be known as god who is mother, Mariatheos. Those who have much awareness of love from Mariatheos can at a higher level love others.

Usually most modern religious organizations hold worship services and give teaching; but they do not attempt to discern levels of holiness of others; that is considered presumptuous and such judgment belongs to god. But the church of Mariatheos could not ignore the problem of attempting to discern levels of spiritual awareness of some of their participants (on average, for moments of spiritual awareness dissipate and common awareness persists).

Any attempt to create matriarchal households without all within having relatively higher levels of spiritual awareness; would doom the project; and failure could have severe consequences; especially for children. Thus the church would not be responsible for such a household community unless they were confident it would succeed.

Fortunately the elders of the church of Mariatheos were open to angelic guidance. They were guided to establish a school for holiness; in which a group of women were engaged in service, contemplation, discussion, and evaluation and guidance by elders. A part time program could be followed by a full time program which included being provided an income.

The school for holiness that was prerequisite for joining a matriarchal household was not graduated from in a set number of years; it could be as long as a decade and half, or as short as 5 years. Some women might have accumulated more entrenched patterns of false self and world awareness than others.

It might seem unfair that women who would want the support of a matriarchal household could not join if they were not able to go through the school for holiness. But their awareness would not necessarily be able to tolerate the level of cooperation necessary. A matriarchal household requires a high level of capacity for gaining and giving Love which is from Mariatheos.

Most women in the church of Mariatheos did not live in a matriarchal household; and they necessarily had much participation in the world; but they understood that as an opportunity for spiritual progress. The church gave them the awareness necessary in order to incrementally transform their awareness of self in world; to gain some transcendence of both self and world.

Not every woman of the church of Mariatheos joined the school for holiness; many attended the part time program but did not intend to join the full time program. Most women of the church did not want to join a matriarchal household. There was much participation in the church community both organized and informal for almost everyone; and was a major motivation for people to join the church.

On average women of the church had enough love to serve each other; and those in the church who needed help, especially with child care, benefited from belonging to the church of Mariatheos, who is Source of Love.

The fraternal order of fredonia was inherently a school for holiness; men who joined fof had no choice but to focus on gaining a level of holiness if they were to gain any awareness of the love of Mariatheos.

Thus all the men were serious students of false self awareness; and although incremental transformation was attained, persistent common awareness was an unavoidable burden that limited their capacity for grace.

The fraternal order of fredonia was a continual school for the attainment of holiness. It included guided contemplation in small groups, individual counseling and evaluation, service within the fraternal order, and service to the church of Mariatheos.

Service to the church of Mariatheos was considered a privilege; and acceptance into ranks of service was by evaluation. The highest levels of service were to the matriarchal households; and the highest privilege was a bond with one of the women of the household; which was called by its fredonish name, "marfereafreshona".

25 Way to the Eastern Light

One afternoon after school Michael was exploring an old abandoned house he would walk by on his way home from school. Back then at least in that town no one cared if kids did such a thing. He had pulled down the stair/ladder and went up to the attic. Two small windows from either end let in enough light to see by. After rummaging around he opened up what looked like a toy chest. It was half full of old books. For some reason Michael had the idea that those books held secrets that he had to know. So he took a few books home with him. Each afternoon he took more of the books in the chest home. One afternoon after removing a couple books he saw at the bottom of the chest a wooden box about the size of a cigar box. A little guilty but wanting to keep it, he took the box home. After that day he never set foot back in the old house again.

At home he examined the box. The wood was carved with designs similar to intertwining vines. The box had a latch that was locked with a heavy bronze combination lock with two dials one inside the other. Although it might be possible to break into the box Michael didn't consider it for a moment. It would be horrible to break the beautiful box; and he already felt some guilt and some fear about possession of the box. The only thing he could do is put the wooden box in a shoe box, cover it with some old National Geographic magazines he had saved and put it in the bottom drawer of his desk.

When Michael was 15 he got a job during the summer as a bus boy at a resort in the Berkshires. He worked as a bus boy at different resorts for the next 20 years. During the winter he worked in Vermont at ski resorts and during the spring through fall at various places in the Berkshires, Catskills, Adirondacks and on Cape Cod. There were only a few weeks between seasons that he didn't work, and then he stayed in his childhood room in the house his parents had lived in almost all of their adult lives. It was a large house that was increasingly renovated over the decades. His room was one of the few left the way it was. His parents were happy with the situation. They got to see Michael perhaps more than if he had moved out completely. Obviously he was independent and was never a burden. But they wondered, and of course never inquired, why he never got married or never mentioned a relationship with any one.

When Michael was 18 he had his first and last sexual relationship. At the beginning of August a waitress he had sort of been in love with since June, took a liking to him and invited him to her room that evening. Michael felt like he had been initiated into heaven. The bliss he felt when he was with her was beyond belief. But only after two weeks she asked him to stop coming over. When he sputtered out protests and asked why, she realized she had to be as clear as possible. Although she hadn't really thought of it that way, she had to tell him that unfortunately she had to break up with him. It wasn't working for her. He was a good guy but she needed seek her soul mate, to find her bliss. He was devastated and realized it was hopeless. He turned from her and almost ran from the porch of the dining hall where they had been talking. Out of sight he was almost running down a path to the lake, he got into a rowboat and rowed out to the middle of the lake where he put the oars in the boat and let it drift as he held his head in his hands and cried for ten minutes. The last words she spoke were especially hurtful because he had been in bliss but evidently she was not. So he couldn't blame her, he couldn't blame himself, he could only blame the world for being so incredibly cruel. In spite of his grief a question appeared in the back of his mind: how is it possible to be so deeply mistaken about what is real?

After Michael first obtained the old books from the abandoned house, he tried to read them but found them too difficult to understand. He kept them thinking that when he got older he would be able to understand them. What happened is that over time he just wasn't interested in them. Because they were associated with the mysterious wooden box, he kept the books.

When he was 18 and came home in late October, he was desperate for answers to his horrifying ignorance about life in the world. One way he had for keeping from total despair and to keep on functioning after his emotional distress was the determination to discover how to transcend the emotional mind. As soon as he could after being rejected, he went into town and bought a bunch of books in any way related to his quest. For the rest of the summer and into the fall he spent almost every moment when not working, reading. But when he got home he remembered the old books that as a child he thought very important. Now he had the earnest hope that was true. He spent the next few weeks at home doing little else but read them. He was also deeply appreciative of his parents. His emotional vulnerability he could not hide completely. His parents were a source of comfort. They noticed some changes in him and sort of guessed that he had suffered heartbreak over the summer. When Michael left home to work at a resort in Vermont for the winter, he took a couple of the old books with him. For the next many years he was seldom without one of those old books.

From: " The Way to the Eastern Light. A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen Who Seek the Greater Truth. " Volume 1. Presented by the Society for the Propagation of Enlightened Wisdom. Boston. 1907.

Preface:

Dearest seeker, you have been brought to these books by powers greater than your self. Even if perhaps a good friend or close relation has referred them to you, your inclusion in such a community of spiritual pilgrimage is itself a great gift from our spiritual guides.

From: " The Way to the Eastern Light "

Preface

The great and horrible war of just several decades ago that destroyed hundreds of thousands of lives, proves that we are far from the virtues that we pretend are enmeshed in civilized society. Christian virtues are unfortunately smaller in their actuality than in their rhetorical elocution. Although the abomination of slavery has been abolished, too many other slightly less obvious patterns of oppression and suffering persist. Unfortunately those of us who live in relative comfort can ignore their existence even as we indirectly benefit from them. But grievous guilt is extremely difficult to bear, and thus we are grateful for our Christian absolution of guilt that we no longer have to bear or even acknowledge. This absolution is not

necessarily from careful contemplation of holy scripture or earnest prayer to to a Righteous but merciful God; for most people their easy absolution of the sin of human kind that we unavoidably participate in is from participation in a church community. Whether he says so or not the shepherd of the flock gives some assurance to the church community that they have received absolution if they agree with the propositions of the institution of their church and if they follow their required responsibilities as members of the church, including importantly their financial obligations. Interestingly different churches have different sets of propositions their members must agree with, and slightly different patterns of expected behaviors. This indicates that these propositions and behaviors have perhaps little absolute truth, but only a communal truth. In truth they are necessary for the coherence and continuance of each church as an institution and community.

From: " The Way to the Eastern Light "

Preface

Many educated people in this modern age have distanced themselves from matters of religion and focus on trying to better the condition of their fellow humanity. Different charitable organizations contribute help to those suffering misfortune. However it is obvious that the need is always overwhelming and the supply of beneficence is always relatively meager. Many other people passionate for progress have turned their attention to politics. Although progressives support Theodore Roosevelt, and his rhetoric full of bravado have thrilled many a heart, what he can accomplish is less than hoped for, as battling the forces of opposition takes the major share of activity and the effect of enacted reforms are limited by continued conflict with forces of entrenched self interest.

From: " The Way to the Eastern Light "

Preface

Most of humanity has either been incorporated into empire or crushed by empire. Ironically some of those comfortably incorporated are uncomfortable with accepting the reality of empire. America has been a fast growing empire. That it has the government of a republic does not limit its imperial reality. Perhaps some progressives avert their attention from the boastful passion for empire that Roosevelt exudes. However imperial forces are inherent in the dynamic of states in human civilization. It is not avoidable and will continue into the foreseeable future. Which states are the centers of empires is not as important as to how humanity evolves. If we are fortunate to have benefited from living in the United States of America, we can participate in the evolution of human capacity for higher awareness even as we acknowledge the misfortune of those who have been conquered and oppressed. Human beings can do little to alter the forces of societal development. However we can discover the spiritual forces of creation which are transcendent of human misery and are the source of human life. Most people throughout the world and throughout history have been able to celebrate their awareness of life even if coexistent with awareness of human suffering, both for themselves and others. To be clear, Christianity has provided awareness of life and the source of life for millions of people. Yet there are also other ways to know our Original Source. The volumes of this book are a different way for such discovery. It is the hope of those who have published these books that those who read them will discover marvelous revelations.

The Way to the Eastern Light

Introduction:

The Eastern Light is the dawn of the transformation of human civilization into utopian societies that although diverse will be interrelated and cooperative. This dawn is not as much in time but available as enlightened awareness for those fortunate enough to discover Love and Wisdom from the Goddess of our transformation. For it will be growing yet dispersed communities of people gaining their own enlightenment who will contribute to the growing enlightenment of humanity, probably over the next several centuries.

The Way to the Eastern Light

Introduction

The light of transformation will be greater for some than for others. Yet it is not important what awareness others have because only your awareness is what you know. Others might contribute to your awareness development, but a contribution to your awareness doesn't necessarily indicate the state of awareness of another, even someone who has the role of teacher. So do not concern yourself with others. Your pilgrimage is being guided by beings in the spiritual realms; you don't necessarily need a teacher in the human realm that you place your complete trust in. Because such teachers are not perfect, and a few are actually charlatans.

Because this is a book and not a person, the reader is forced to retain responsibility for their incorporation of knowledge and wisdom. Your pilgrimage will probably be long and difficult; because indeed you are ignorant and must discover what is true in the present moment, which might be at some level of crisis. For it is in a sense of crisis that you will most have motivation to accept alternative and perhaps strange modalities of awareness. You will have to rely on intuition, incomplete spiritual knowledge, and guidance from the spiritual realms. Although some spirits are not benevolent and you must still rely on your discernment.

It is because the spiritual realms are full of multitudes of diverse spirits at all levels on the continuum from hell to heaven, it is best to pray to the highest ideal spiritual being that you can. In spiritual reality that is the Deity who is the same as God. Although God is universal, God can be known thousands of different ways. There is a Great Paradox: the Unity of Original Source of Reality is known differently by different people. There is no way to escape this paradox. Non acceptance of this paradox has lead to persistent religious conflict. Fortunately for many of us this conflict is almost entirely with language. However such conflict does yield extensive alienation between religious communities. Which can contribute to hostility and conflict between some people in different communities who believe the other is going to Hell.

The Way to the Eastern Light

Introduction

How we know most directly the Original Source of All Life as well as the Way to the Eastern Light is by prayer, contemplation, and devotion to Our Great Universal Mother. Our Universal Mother is from where we originally began and to where we are returning. Being cast out from the original bliss of existence within Universal Mother has been the way this great multitude of diverse patterns of existence develops. Being returned to Our Universal Mother is how this great multitude of diverse patterns becomes integrated and gains unity. This process is both out of time and within time. So we can experience unity with Our Great Universal Mother in a moment and experience great separation in another moment. You would not experience even one moment of oneness with Our Universal Mother unless you were on a long pilgrimage of attainment of more moments of oneness and making a contribution to others development of the capacity for such exalted experience. For our purpose is to develop community awareness from Our Great Universal Mother not just personal. Yet it might be only personal awareness of Our Great Universal Mother of all Life and Love that you have for a long while. Your pilgrimage might be mostly alone.

The Way to the Eastern Light

Chapter one:

The Cultivation of Capacity for Emptiness

The Buddha attained enlightenment and taught his followers the way to attain enlightenment. This tradition has grown very large and very diverse after 2 and half millennia. We can learn much from Buddhism yet this book will only describe some essential aspects which necessarily will be different from traditional Buddhism. We are grateful for the teachings of the Buddha and acknowledge Buddhism as deeply insightful and inspirational. Yet what will be presented here is not Buddhism.

No enlightenment is possible without the cultivation of emptiness. It is not possible to go into the water and survive if you don't know how to swim. But learning how to swim as a child becomes an unconscious skill that is difficult to describe. After you learn how to experience emptiness you have the ability to have the awareness of emptiness again. However there is a common resistance to the willingness to accept emptiness. We are usually very attached to patterns of awareness that would have to dissipate for us to have awareness of emptiness. In fact it is the dissipation of sometimes fiercely held patterns of awareness that reveals awareness of emptiness. The problem is that distressful patterns of experience are joined with often partly unconscious patterns of awareness that you can not accept the loss of. They are patterns of awareness that you assume are necessary for your existence or necessary for your satisfaction. If you could accept the dissipation of those patterns of awareness you would realize the assumptions that they are necessary for you is false. In fact the acceptance of emptiness allows the experience of satisfaction, peace, or spiritual grace, or even perhaps spiritual love and awareness of universal life. Metaphorically you realize you are not drowning but enjoying swimming.

The Way to the Eastern Light,

chapter one

Because acceptance of emptiness is often difficult and because acceptance of emptiness is often necessary for the experience of other modalities of spiritual awareness, even the capacity for prayer might be dependent on acceptance of emptiness, our spiritual path might include more suffering than we would hope. So it is not surprising that many people avoid embarking on pilgrimage on a spiritual path. So it should not be surprising that some people are pushed onto their spiritual path and their pilgrimage is motivated by seeking an escape from suffering greater than the suffering experienced on the journey. For some people the world can be experienced as cruel and tormenting. An early indicator that someone accepts some degree of emptiness is when in some way they renounce trying to attain satisfaction from their participation in the world.

The Way to the Eastern Light,

chapter one

Contemplation is necessary for the incremental development of the capacity for emptiness. Contemplation is available when participation in the world is not too demanding of our attention. Life in the world can not be either too difficult or too easy. The world can not be all that one knows. There must be available the possibility of attention not on the world but on awareness not understood, not explained, and perhaps without known purpose. Contemplation does not require specific posture, rituals, or place. Contemplation can occur while doing most anything. Sitting anywhere is probably best but walking is also conducive. It is being able to observe ones own mind, thought, emotion, sensation, memory. It is being able in moments to realize your awareness is distinct from one's experience, is distinct from the content of awareness. Once you get a glimpse of awareness separate from patterns of experience and patterns of thought, you begin to develop capacity for new patterns of awareness.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter one

Acceptance of emptiness allows the realization that assumptions about your self and about the world have been false. When you experience the dissipation of assumptions about reality as you accept emptiness, they are realized as false. After more experience of emptiness you can accept the possibility that all of your common habitual awareness is false even if it persists. This realization makes it easier to accept emptiness of familiar common patterns of awareness. However habitual common awareness is very persistent even if sometimes during contemplation it might dissipate into emptiness. We are on an endless journey of incremental transformation of our experience and awareness. At times the spiritual awareness that develops because of acceptance of emptiness is wonderful enough that we know our pilgrimage is a blessing even if often difficult.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter one

Emptiness is the gate to other realms of awareness. What you experience might be just some gentle realizations. You have to go through the gate thousands and thousands of times. Each time what you experience is not predictable. And sometimes it might be extraordinary. But unless you become extremely enlightened, which probably will not develop in your lifetime, and it is best if you accept that is a false hope, you will return to common limited awareness of your self in the world again and again. So although they experientially alternate, common awareness and spiritual awareness coexist, and everyone has a slightly different way they understand both types of awareness. We offer the example of a pilgrimage to indicate that you are on a continual journey of discovery but that you remain in the mundane world.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter one

Do not underestimate your attachment to patterns of awareness of your self and of the world. Most of people's awareness is not conscious. So if some of your common awareness dissipates by your acceptance of emptiness, much more will persist. Unfortunately as some patterns of common awareness dissipate others might arise from the unconscious that might be more intense and less familiar. You don't need to understand patterns of awareness that arise from the unconscious. It is right to be skeptical of modern explanations of the unconscious mind. Actually stories told and written throughout the ages and those contemporary communicate the secrets of psyche better than any modern philosopher. What is important is not understanding but acceptance and transcendence. Transcendence is from acceptance of emptiness. Therefore no matter what are the patterns of awareness that enter consciousness, what is best is within contemplation to accept their dissipation by awareness of emptiness. Because this is often difficult, sometimes distressful experience must be held within contemplation and observed; not necessarily to understand but perhaps to distinguish different aspects of those patterns of awareness that contain suffering, to disentangle them so to speak.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter one

Unfortunately our attachment to patterns of common awareness are so strong that at times only intense suffering motivates us to accept their decrease and eventually their dissipation. Ironically being on a spiritual path might increase suffering and decrease the many ways we have maintained patterns of awareness that most support our sense of selfhood and our familiar awareness of the world. Being broken is a dramatic but perhaps accurate way to portray the decrease of tightly held awareness of one's self in the world.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter one

You will not know what awaits you during your long lifetime pilgrimage of discovery of spiritual awareness. To assume that a spiritual path ensures you will always experience being blessed is false. We are continually being blessed but might only sometimes realize it. Because as difficult it is to accept, being motivated by suffering to detach from common

awareness is from being blessed so that we are able to accept emptiness and receive perhaps the experience of the Source of all blessings. In the next chapter we will look at the Source of All Life!

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter two:

Our Great Universal Mother

Although there are different Deities that people pray to as either original universal source or as close as possible to being original universal source, and people don't necessarily respect others who pray to a different Deity, it is possible to accept the paradox that for one community the Deity they pray to is exclusively Original Universal Source, and a different community will pray to a different Deity who for them is exclusively Original Universal Source. The teachings in this book accepts this paradox. It is necessary for a spiritual community to have primary focus on only one Deity who is exclusively Original Universal Source of All Life. The spiritual community who has published these books worships one Deity who we know as Our Great Universal Mother. If you are reading this book we would hope you also would pray to Our Great Universal Mother; however it is not necessary for you to do so; and you can pray to the Deity of your choice or perhaps you do not want to pray to any Deity.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter two

Although relatively historically recently the most learned men have discovered the unfathomable vastness of the physical universe, and some modern people would argue that it is archaic to envision the creator of the universe as having human form, there are many explanations to be given for devotion to Our Great Universal Mother. But first we must elucidate on what is foundational for knowing anything, and that is awareness itself.

Awareness is actually the substance of who we are. We know nothing except by awareness. We have to have awareness before we know anything. All the modalities of knowing have their basis in or as awareness. From our awareness arises all the different ways to know anything! So thought and especially assumptions are patterns of awareness. Thought and assumptions about reality are not reality itself. So although you might be convinced your thoughts and assumptions about reality are true, they could be to various degrees false, and you would not know it, until you might eventually realize they are false.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter two

It seems that discoveries about the physical universe are extremely important. But such knowledge is more limited than is apparent. To be simple awareness is most dense the closer it is to the center of your awareness, and awareness patterns that are the most dense are also the most complex. The confusion is that most of awareness is unconscious. So ironically it can be difficult to have conscious awareness of who you are, and yet it is the vast amount of dense complex unconscious awareness that determines who you are. As we have shown in chapter one the way to become conscious is to accept emptiness of some of what is conscious. That which is important will arise again and that which is no longer useful will tend to fade away over time. And what is most important is awareness of the Source of your life. Although it seems that our life is physical, that is an assumption held in your awareness. It has recently been discovered that much of physical energy is invisible to us. Light itself is invisible until it comes into contact with some physical substance. Spiritual reality is invisible but is known when it comes into contact with human awareness. Because there is an inherent subjective quality to human awareness, spiritual reality is most fully known when it is known most fully by subjective human awareness. The paradox of human awareness of spiritual causal reality is that it is more intensely human the more intense is awareness of ultimate spiritual reality. Thus ultimate spiritual reality communicates most intensely as intimate human relationship. Thus the most intense knowledge of Universal Original Source is by our knowledge and awareness of and from Our Great Universal Mother!

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter two

Because spiritual awareness is inherently personal, each person is responsible for their discovery of the deepest awareness of spiritual reality possible. Obviously it is possible to be skeptical, to argue against seeming contradictions in discourse about spiritual reality, to judge any hypocrisy discerned within others who claim spiritual or religious awareness, and to find ridiculous the mythology that the religious claim as real. People might feel clever or knowledgeable in the judgement that religion in general is just superstition, even though they might have some respect for the culture inspired by religion such as art, architecture, and music. It seems that secular knowledge is growing relentlessly and yielding industrial and technological progress that people find both marvelous and beneficial. Yet the ancient afflictions of humanity have persisted. Poverty, disease, war, grief, unhappiness, conflict and alienation have persisted even as progress has been celebrated. Affliction and suffering have always motivated alternative awareness to the limitations of the world. Mostly traditional religion has been sufficient for most people. However the history of religion reveals religion evolves. Diversity of religious communities has always existed even if many have belonged to the same religious tradition. Religious innovation creates new communities that may grow larger over time. We have seen in America during the 19th century much religious innovation and today many of these communities have at least grudging acceptance by most in society. There is no church of Our Great Universal Mother, and perhaps none will develop in the 20th century. The community of people who have published these books is small, informal, and totally obscure. Yet we hope that the books will communicate some of the wisdom that we are grateful to have been given. And the most glorious revelation we have been given is to know Our Great Universal Mother!

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter two

The most sublime experience possible is to experience union with Our Great Universal Mother. If extremely blessed, you can experience the bliss of Supreme Love. Love from Who gives you each moment of life, Who you are joined with as your life is from Eternal and Universal Life continually emanating from Our Great Universal Mother. Such bliss can not be sustained because inevitably we will focus on what is not eternal and universal which is one's awareness of their self in the world. Bifurcation of awareness is not avoidable. We experience both spiritual and common awareness. The developing patterns of relationship of these seemingly separate realms of awareness constitute your personal religious awareness. The sacred and the profane coexist and interrelate to yield your unique existence. An existence very small in the world and persistent for an unknown amount of time; yet an existence joined with eternal and universal life; which sometimes you are aware of.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter two

There is a direction to your pilgrimage and that is towards Our Great Universal Mother. Thus it is necessary for your pilgrimage to be purgatorial. You will experience the persistent but relatively gradual decrease in awareness patterns that conflict with awareness from Our Great Universal Mother. This develops by contemplation and your incremental acceptance of the emptiness of familiar, habitual, and even foundational patterns of awareness that are false compared to awareness from Our Great Universal Mother. False patterns of awareness are not just thought and can be emotion, physical sensation, even posture, attitudes, assumptions, memory, imagination, etc. All of these types of awareness are intertwined. So the decrease of relatively false patterns of awareness must be gradual enough so you can maintain some functionality and not fall apart completely. Importantly you must have some degree of cooperation with your purgatorial process. You must have some degree of faith so that your resistance is not total. As you gain more faith you can experience deeper levels of transformation. As you gain more wisdom you can tolerate more acceptance of emptiness of relatively false patterns of awareness of your self in the world.

In 1907 500 copies of The Way to the Eastern Light were printed. That was the first and final printing. It took over a decade for the group of people who published the books to pay off their debt to the printer of the books. In fact only about 25 copies were sold and the hopes of the community for the success of the books were quickly disillusioned. Yet their conviction that making the books available had great purpose was not abandoned. They received assurances in prayer that the books would find their way to those who could gain much from them. But this would take many years and even decades, and the books would not be sold but given to some people who had purpose to have them.

It was not rare that copies of The Way to the Eastern Light would end up in the attics of people who passed away, mostly ignored by people who inherited the estate. Perhaps sold off for a few dollars together with other old books at estate sales or given to the Salvation Army or Goodwill or a thrift store. Used book stores refused to take them which indicated that no one thought they had any value. But sometimes someone browsing at a thrift store bought the books for a few dollars after looking at them and being intrigued. Reading a page or two communicated a mysterious hope; and not only did some people buy them but studied them intently.

Michael's sense of determination served him well. After reading The Way to the Eastern Light he developed enough capacity to be in contemplation and experience just enough incremental transformation of his low level common awareness of himself in the world that he had faith he was on pilgrimage that had purpose. At times he experienced enough divine love from Our Great Universal Mother that he could accept not only a life of celibacy but realized the intensity of what he experienced with Linda when he was 18 was false awareness. It was an intense narcissism that in ignorance and innocence seemed like unquestioned love. Yes, kindness and beauty and pleasure can uncover a deep self love, but it is not reality and can easily become disillusioned. Actually Linda was merciful in so quickly and clearly revealing the illusion; and the pain prevented him from ever entangling himself in the illusion again. Others got entangled for years and decades in co dependency which he became convinced all intimate relationships were, even those that appeared successful. But he knew he couldn't convince anyone else that was so. Only each person could come to that conclusion when it was time.

In the middle of the 4th volume of The Way to the Eastern Light Michael found a folded piece of paper. It was a hand written letter that read:

To the person who has found these books,

Blessed are you if you have read them and learned much from them.

The owner of this set is one of the original group of people that published the books.

In the same chest as the books was placed a treasured possession that is a great potential spiritual gift to the person who is meant to receive it. The 258th letter in each of the first five chapters is the code to the inner dial spun clockwise first. The 342nd letter in each of those chapters is the code to the outer dial spun counterclockwise first. Unless someone is blessed by Our Great Universal Mother they will lose count. So I can rest assured that the gift will only be possessed by someone with a purpose to have it. The gift will be worthless to anyone else. May Our Great Universal Mother bless you greatly if you are that person!

This letter is written by someone who the reader will never know and so shall remain anonymous.

For several years Michael did not try and discover the code to the combination lock of the beautiful wooden box still in the bottom drawer of his desk in the room that he still lived in a few weeks a year at his parents house. When he turned 33 he felt ready to try; and one day in October he made the attempt and was successful. He opened the box and wrapped in a very old but beautiful linen cloth was a small disk attached to a plain cord. The center was a multi colored disk of hand made glass a little larger than a quarter, and surrounding it was bronze with only a little decorative etching. The medallion as a whole was about the size of a silver dollar and the bronze was only partly tarnished. Michael loved it as he looked at it. It was beautiful and somehow he was reminded of an old farmhouse kitchen. Also in the bottom of the wooden box was a hand written letter which read:

Congratulations to whomever is blessed by receiving this gift.

When wearing the medallion the person will have heightened spiritual discernment. They might much more easily hear or behold angels and spirits from Our Great Universal Mother. Unless the person has the sanctity in those moments to be blessed with such exalted communication, it will be extremely uncomfortable to wear it or impossible to have on. This blessed medallion can be worn by anyone who is worthy but the keeper of this unique gift should try and have discernment as to whom shall even touch it. There were several of these beautiful objects made and the hope of the people who commissioned their creation is that they will be of help in the eventual growth of communities who have communion with Our Great Universal Mother! Blessed are those who discover Her. Although the future keeper of this box shall never know the anonymous giver of this gift, know that the original community of Our Great Universal Mother has always hoped and prayed that future communities develop who know Our Great Universal Mother and serve the growth and development of such communities. May Our Great Universal Mother bless all who discover Her!

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter three:

Cultivation of Community of Our Great Universal Mother

A small group of people is responsible for the publishing of The Way to the Eastern Light. We have hope that many other people will discover Our Great Universal Mother and that some of them will form communities of devotion and service. We only have our experience of being in community yet we have wisdom to share about the general principles of a community of Our Great Universal Mother.

First, such a community is matriarchal. It will be composed primarily of women and be led by women. However cooperation is mostly spontaneous if the community is in devotion to and open to inspiration from Our Great Universal Mother. The contributions members of such a community make to each other are deep and profound. The wellbeing of each other is important to every person in the community and thus everyone is much better off than if they were all self centered. The gratitude and love everyone has for each other is only superseded by the love they have for and experience from Our Great Universal Mother.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter three

Community is composed of people but is not created by people. There is the mind of the community that is trans personal; it exists primarily in the spiritual realm and directly but mostly unconsciously communicates with everyone in their human community. The spiritual beings (who can be known as the angels of the spiritual community) who are the community are also a unity and can be known as one spiritual being. This spiritual being (who can be known as the archangel of the spiritual community) can communicate and sometimes reveal their existence to people in their community. Our Great Universal Mother is also the spiritual community of Our Great Universal Mother and can appear to people living in the world, but who to some degree have transcended the world, as their Great Universal Mother, usually in the most beautiful shining glory it is possible for a person to behold. Only the unavoidable limitations of human awareness limits the intensity of experience of Our Great Universal Mother. It is more usual to have less intense awareness from Our Great Universal Mother and it is more usual to be given awareness of or from a spiritual being within the spiritual community of Our Great Universal Mother than the intensity of the totality of the community in the spiritual realm that is Our Great Universal Mother.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter three

There is purpose for every spiritual or religious group and community that exists in the world. Although we are convinced of the greatness of Our Great Universal Mother and Her community, in the world we are so small that we barely exist. Our purpose for being in the world is mostly not known but it is known by faith. Because we worship and pray to Our Great Universal Mother we also inherently have deep gratitude for our fellowship of people with devotion to Our Great Universal Mother. Also out of faith we are writing and publishing The Way to the Eastern Light in the hope others will discover Our Great Universal Mother and gather into fellowship. Yet all of this is determined by the angels of the community of Our Great Universal Mother in the spiritual realms. We in our humanity are at best servants of our mostly not known spiritual community. Our Great Universal Mother reveals awareness to people in the world according to Her wisdom. For the world is afflicted by being partly in hell and resistance to awareness from Our Great Universal Mother is extensive. And to be sure, other religious and spiritual communities have effectively lifted people out of hell to various degrees and should have our admiration and respect. However we are devoted to Our Great Universal Mother and also devoted to the communication of this special revelation. And perhaps you who read this will join in discovery of and devotion to Our Great Universal Mother.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter three

The community of Our Great Universal Mother who is responsible for this book has unreasonable hope for the growth of other communities with devotion to Our Great Universal Mother. However even if our hopes are not borne out by future developments, there is great purpose for any awareness from Our Great Universal Mother given to anyone who has some capacity to gain that blessed awareness. It is most beneficial to focus more on invisible spiritual reality which is known within the center of one's personal awareness, and focus less on others in society who do not know and probably do not care what is within your core awareness of reality. Thus spiritual fellowship is so precious as others share the same devotion to and similar core awareness from Our Great Universal Mother. The smallest community that has intense spiritual awareness is joined with the infinitely intense experience of community in the spiritual realm who are one with Our Great Universal Mother. So a small spiritual community can be blessed with large spiritual awareness and intense spiritual experience. Out of that abundance of blessing they can contribute to others perhaps in ways mysterious and obscure. Hopefully the readers of this book will be especially blessed by Our Great Universal Mother.

After Michael's amazement in the discovery of the gift of the medallion and while reading the letter, his joy faded and was displaced by the burden of responsibility. He realized the letter basically requested that he somehow help form a community of devotion to Our Great Universal Mother. He was even reluctant to bring the issue into prayer for fear of confirmation by spirits from Our Great Universal Mother. Although a bit despondent he was grateful to be in the comfort and emotional support of his parents home. But it also dawned on him that any responsibility for the creation of a spiritual community might alter the way of life he had maintained since graduation from high school. Upon more reflection he began to suspect his past way of life would enable him to make a significant contribution to a future spiritual community. Although his work was low status he had saved a considerable amount of money. He had worked at places that provided accommodations and meals for their employees. He had usually been working over 60 to 70 hours a week. Even though a bus boy (he didn't have the kind of mind necessary for being a waiter, he had once tried briefly and failed miserably) tips were often generous. He didn't have his own apartment to pay for nor pay for food most of the time. But perhaps most important he was frugal. He didn't go out much with people and he didn't date. He had no expensive pastimes or habits. To be crude, he had never tried to buy happiness from the world.

Over the next two years Michael slowly accepted responsibility for development of a community of Our Great Universal Mother. Many many doubts and much skepticism had to incrementally decrease. Contemplation and prayer both confirmed this new purpose and assured him it would develop slowly; it had to develop slowly because his natural resistance could only decrease slowly. And his openness to the level of spiritual guidance necessary could only develop slowly. He soon realized that he did not need to know what would develop nor how it would develop. He was not responsible beyond a little because Our Great Universal Mother was responsible and community from Our Great Universal Mother already existed within the spiritual realm. He was only responsible for acceptance that his spiritual awareness must continue to progress but that it was angels from Our Great Universal Mother who were responsible for his spiritual development and the eventual development of community. After two years from when he first opened the wooden box he had the capacity for an increased level of openness to spiritual guidance. He had a higher level of faith and began to alter the familiar circumstances of his life in the world.

Michael stopped working in the world and started to work for the future community of Our Great Universal Mother. He did not need to worry about working and in fact could spend on whatever he was guided to do. He was honest with his parents and told them he had a religious calling that might look unusual. Although a little bit worried they assured him that they respected his inner convictions even if they could not understand them. He was relieved.

He got an apartment in Gloucester Massachusetts northeast of Boston.

Michael rented a small apartment on Maplewood avenue a ten minute walk to Main street. Although he didn't drink he spent much time at different bars drinking seltzer with a splash of orange juice. At times he was overhearing conversations and other times in contemplation. He had no idea what he was supposed to do but it was very clear for months before he moved that he was to move to Gloucester, a town he had only been to a couple times before. But it was special. Although some of the fishing industry survived, Gloucester had developed a mixed economy partly relying on tourism and second homes for people who wanted to spend their summers away from the city or inland suburbs. A few miles from the harbor was a beach large enough to accommodate its many summer visitors. There were an unusual amount of bars hosting live music and some people came long distances to go to them. There was a commuter train station in town. It was an hour to Boston. There were rich and poor and everyone in between. But almost everyone knew there was something special about Gloucester, partly it was the beauty of the harbor but partly it was a mystery.

After several months living in Gloucester, Michael bought the old Elks Club building on Middle street. Because it was a relatively small building and because of restrictions from zoning, municipal ordinances, and having an historical designation, the cost was not prohibitive. Michael didn't spend too much on renovations; the small kitchen was gutted, cleaned thoroughly, some repairs were done and new appliances, equipment and work tables installed. The building before looked somewhat rundown, and afterwards had been restored to look as beautiful as when first built 125 years in the past. Michael was more than pleased. He had the sense that if there had been a Church of Our Great Universal Mother when The Way to the Eastern Light was published, it might have been in a building similar to this one.

A sponsored post on Facebook and Instagram targeted to Gloucester read:

The future church of Our Great Universal Mother in Gloucester is looking to hire a singer songwriter willing to create and perform songs devoted to Our Great Universal Mother.

Auditions will be held from noon onwards on all Sundays in September at the old Elks club building on Middle street off of Pleasant street. Compensation for performing every Sunday at 2:00 pm starting in the middle of October will be 200 dollars for each afternoon's performance. Musicianship is not quite as important as the quality of transcendent awareness communicated.

Michael hired two women who he was guided to select. They performed both separately and together. Unbeknownst to them in the beginning, they would also become the leadership of the Church Our Great Universal Mother. It was their spiritual awareness that they communicated to the congregation not only by their songs but after a short while by talking spontaneously between songs. In the beginning there really wasn't a congregation but an audience for the performers; and a good number were friends and acquaintances. In a way it was just a fabulous gig for both of them. However over months the intensity of spiritual awareness experienced by all in the space gradually increased so that it became increasingly clear they really were a church.

Soon after the church opened Michael had very little to do for the church except pay for utilities, insurance, some other expenses, and compensation to Johanna and Maria. However the joy he experienced sitting in the room with the audience/congregation was beyond anything he had anticipated. He was exceedingly grateful for this unexpected blessing. Up to then he was just trying to follow spiritual guidance and by contemplation accept the emptiness of anything within his common awareness that resisted his purpose. But until the Church opened and even for a couple weeks he didn't believe that a Church of Our Great Universal Mother was possible. He had been completely alone in his spiritual pilgrimage for almost two decades. He assumed no one was interested in discovery of Our Great Universal Mother. Even after his purchase of the old Elks club building he didn't think it possible anyone would gather for devotion to Our Great Universal Mother. It was during the renovations to the building that it was revealed to him what the path forward was. Gradually doubt turned into enthusiasm.

After a year the Church was self supporting. 50 members and the membership fee was substantial. Johanna and Maria were no longer being compensated financially but their services to the church qualified them for membership so the membership fee was waived. Michael donated the building to the church organization and so he also qualified for membership without paying a fee. People could come to the church who were not members. But the membership was responsible for the church.

Michael got a job as a janitor for the Gloucester Historical Society on Pleasant street near the church. Income barely matched expenses but he still had a comfortable amount of savings. There was something he had almost forgotten about and that was the medallion. He had worn it once to gain confirmation for his plan to move to Gloucester. Although he vaguely saw a spirit what he heard in his mind was not too different in experience than what he was already familiar with, yet the communication was surprising; the spirit told him that the medallion was not for him; that Michael really didn't need it, his level of spiritual openness was more than sufficient. He should keep the medallion until he was guided as to whom he should give it to. Since then he barely thought about it.

So now having thought about it one afternoon he brought the question up for consideration during prayer that evening. He was guided to give it, wrapped in a linen cloth the same way he found it in its wooden box with the letter in the bottom, to Johanna and Maria. But he kept the heavy bronze lock and the letter explaining the code for opening the lock.

The chest in the attic of the old abandoned house had contained multiple sets of the 4 volume The Way to the Eastern Light. So Michael as a boy didn't realize he had brought home four complete sets of the book, as well as the wooden box, before he stopped going back to the old house. He hadn't looked too closely at the old books that he put on the bottom shelf of his bookcase. He had only tried to read a couple of pages from one book before he gave up and he didn't look at the books again for several years. But he kept them all and now that there was a Church of Our Great Universal Mother in Gloucester, Michael kept one set for himself and donated the other three sets to the church library. For a while it seemed to Michael that the development of the Gloucester church had little to do with the Way to the Eastern Light. He was assured in prayer that it did not matter. The members were in communion with Our Great Universal Mother and that was what was important. Although for Michael it was the books that enabled him to develop awareness from Our Great Universal Mother, there were other ways, and Johanna and Maria had discovered Her directly and could communicate Her Reality to the congregation. One difference between the 21st century and the first decade of the 20th century was a century of development of spiritual awareness alternative to Christianity. Another difference was the evolution of women's participation in society and the evolution of diverse communities of women's awareness. Spiritual awareness of the Goddess or Divine Mother or Gaia or the Devine feminine are all popular and have a great diversity of cultural expression. So it is not too surprising that when Michael invited people to discover expression of Our Great Universal Mother, two women would be able to do so marvelously.

To be crude the spiritual mania experienced by the Gloucester church grew for 10 months from when the church started. That level of heightened spiritual awareness was maintained for a year, and then it started to decline. About 6 months later people were trying to understand what was wrong. At times disagreement turned into argument but immediately people regretted that had developed and apologized to each other. Johanna became depressed because she thought she was failing the congregation. Not knowing what to do she decided to talk with Michael about the problems of the church. Although he said very little to anyone since the beginning of the church but came to every church gathering, and he seemed not to notice there were any problems, she was encouraged while in prayer to seek him out for advice. After one Sunday's gathering she asked Michael and Maria to stay after everyone else left to talk. As a ritual and as a way to calm a little of her anxiety she brewed a large pot of tea for the three of them to share. She placed the pot and three mugs on a small low table and they sat around it. After a few minutes of silence. Johanna started to softly cry. Plaintively she blurted out: "Michael, do you know what is wrong? You do know that there is something very wrong with what has happened to our church?"

Michael waited a moment. "Johanna, it is not as bad as you fear. Yes, the level of spiritual bliss has declined. But it could not be sustained. That type of experience is not sustainable. So, sorry to say it is false to expect us to stay there. We must come down from the mountain height back into the valley. For it is in the valley where we are most human. We have visited with the angels but we had to leave and come home. This is where the work is. This is where we transform our selves in the world, this is where the difficult work of transformation becomes sustainable. The valley is where food is grown, shelter built, and children are nurtured. On the mountain top we experience great inspiration and communion but in the valley we bring that inspiration into our life in the world. If we can incorporate awareness from Our Great Universal Mother into our awareness of the world and of ourselves in the world, we experience more transformation and deeper satisfaction than if we just enjoy the bliss of the angels. Anyway it is not up to us, we have been sent home."

Maria was smiling and Johanna still looked a little sad, but her distress had gone. They all sat in silence for some moments. Then Maria spoke: " Michael we definitely need your wisdom. We have been sailing fast in a strong wind and enjoyed the exhilaration of our journey. But now that the wind has faded the realization dawns that we are lost. We are too far from where we were when we started to go back and no one wants to go back. But we don't even really know what to go forward means. Again it is apparent that we are lost. So it seems clear to me that you must assume some responsibility for leadership. Johanna, I hope you agree. "

Johanna replied: "Maria, you are right. But you seem to have more faith than me. But yes, Michael we need your help. Your wisdom is greater than suspected. But probably we didn't need your wisdom till now. Yet now I feel Maria and I must stop any pretense. Next week we should communicate some of the reality of our situation, of this new stage of our journey together. We should write some new songs perhaps more sorrowful. Music has the inherent ability to at least slightly transform suffering. Yes, the way forward is a little clear to me now. We must acknowledge a different aspect of awareness, the more sorrowful. We can acknowledge where we are and ask the angels of Our Great Universal Mother to lead us out of the fog, out of the doldrums! To use an old sailing ship phrase. Ok, I feel some hope. Thank you Maria my most wonderful friend and thank you so much Michael. And Michael, if so led I might ask you to talk for a few minutes next Sunday. May Our Great Universal Mother sustain us and bless us."

Every one was smiling as they finished their tea in silence and then they left the church.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter four:

The Way of the Long Path

Because your journey is endless, there is never any final goal that can be attained.

Every moment is slightly different yet many are very similar. Any thought you have about your journey is probably false. Any assumption you have about your journey is probably false. Thus it is just as false to have positive expectations as negative. Being in unavoidable ignorance it is best to accept ignorance and just be in the awareness of the moment as it continually changes. Also if you accept ignorance you can realize that you are not causal of anything. Even a level of responsibility is not creation. You at best can participate in creation but the causality of the creation of anything is from beyond you and mostly beyond your knowledge. Others contribution to any creation is almost always greater than your own. Often you have nothing to do with what is created and given to you.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter four

The long path is the path of your life but it is also the path of your community. In this modern age there are people with less attachment to their community and some are even searching for community. In America the formation of new communities has been possible and many of them have had religious foundations. The earliest settlers from Great Britain who came to Boston were explicitly motivated by their religion and their influence on the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has only gradually decreased over the many years. So communities can sometimes be created and implicitly its members have abandoned their participation in other communities. That abandonment can cause resentment towards the new community from others. Yet established communities can experience decay. Sometimes economic factors will be blamed, but less obviously but more importantly, for lack of a better way to state it, the life force sustaining communities can decrease. This is not understood and is barely observable, but it is felt by many within the community and blame is thrown around haphazardly and sometimes zealously.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter four

For some people there is almost nothing about their life path that they can understand. If there is some understanding it might be false. We understand our self in the world from the understanding of others and especially the community of others we belong to. If your path has been leading you out of community, your understanding will be in continual conflict with that community. If you are far away that level of conflict will decrease. However being alone is existentially frightening and the tendency is to join any other community available. In the large city different communities coexist and people can come together to form new communities. Your individual path might be partly absorbed by the development of a community. Such a community might be a school or an institution. It might be a church or spiritual group. But it is also possible to absorbed by a community in the spiritual realm. There might be little to observe in the world.

The Way to the Eastern Light

chapter four

This book is a path into community mostly in the spiritual realm. If so for you increasingly this book will be important in giving you understanding of your life path. You might have had assumptions that you have been an individual responsible for your self, that you have made the choices that determined the patterns of your life and that you continue to have the power of choice. Yet you can not understand your own mind because it is mostly unconscious. A person's mind is created by forces not understood. Any assumption that you have about the human mind might be false thus your understanding of your own mind might be false. It is uncommon to have the realization that significant assumptions and conclusions that you have had are false. Such realizations are only possible if mind beyond you gives them to you. Some community either in the world or beyond the world is giving you realizations and revelations. Actually all communities in the world have mind from a spiritual community in the spiritual realm. The individual is incredibly powerless. All people have some significant relationship to community, even if it is one of rejection. Yet the path of rejection from one community might be the path of acceptance by another. If your path is leading you into the spiritual community of Our Great Universal Mother, although your path might be through some degree of tribulation, you will discover great joy in the awareness you are gaining from Her.

Gloucester mostly ignored the church of Our Great Universal Mother. Even visitors to the church congregation might only attend a few times before losing interest. Those who were members had commitment. However when the quality of the worship celebration seemed to decline some questioned their commitment but did not walk away from the church. Commitment was a mysterious quality that did not rely on self satisfaction. In fact their willingness to keep gathering as a congregation even when it was less enjoyable revealed awareness that they had commitment even if not understood.

The next Sunday after Maria, Johanna and Michael had tea and talked together about the church, Johanna felt some determination to lead the church out of the doldrums. When the congregation was seated she came up front alone to speak to them:

Beloved members of this church. Thank you for continuing your commitment to our church even though it has been difficult for the past half year. Forgive me for not acknowledging our plight a while ago and continuing to sing and speak as if it were a year ago when our spiritual bliss was so delightful and our enthusiasm unbounded. But I have been in confusion and only knew to communicate what seemed so real a year ago but slowly over the past half year has unfortunately become pretense. Fortunately in prayer I was guided to talk to Michael who is really the founder of this church even if he has remained quiet ever since. So after last Sunday's gathering of the church, Maria, Michael, and myself talked together and Michael's insights were profound. So having much realization from that conversation I want to talk to you, and I must say my love for you all is deep and my gratitude large for your presence and contribution to our church. We must acknowledge that the direction of the wind has changed. It is much more difficult to sail against the wind than to have it blowing strong from behind us. It is easy to enjoy running with the wind yet it takes good seamanship to tack into the wind and make progress. Yes it is slower but it is possible. So first we must acknowledge that spiritual forces are with us; sometimes they gift us with blessings but other times their purpose is to teach us. And the lessons are difficult especially when we don't know what is going on. So we have no choice but to slow down, start to pay attention, and learn as best we can. There is so much to learn and it might not seem we are making progress. However we are just as being guided when it is difficult as when it is easy. We don't control the wind! It has not been our inherent ability that has created blessings and when it is difficult it is apparent that we are ignorant and powerless. So let us all realize we are in a different situation, the good times are gone and we should adjust to the tasks before us. We must learn to be more contemplative, more open to wisdom, and more patient with ourselves and others. Actually we have plenty of time to learn. We just have to accept that is necessary.

Johanna sat on a chair to the side on the low platform in front of the congregation and faced Maria as she came up front to speak. Her smile was wide as she began:

Oh how I love you all so much! It has been such a privilege to have been given the opportunity to sing, play the guitar, and worship with you all this time. Thank you so much for your trust in Johanna's and my leadership, and I have great faith the changes we will go through will be fruitful. Suffering in life is not avoidable; that is just an aspect of being human. Thankfully much is not suffering and it is common to call something enjoyable a blessing. But it can be a blessing to experience difficulties. What we most want is to be as much as possible on the path that Our Great Universal Mother has chosen for us. We have experienced so much joy from worship of Our Great Universal Mother that perhaps the assumption developed that it would always be so. By joining this church we entered through a door into Heaven and believed we would always reside in the joy and love from Our Great Universal Mother. However now it is apparent that we were just visiting. For almost two years we experienced a reality that we couldn't have imagined before the church existed. I believe it was actually a very long time to be so blessed. Because we are not angels but human. And human beings have much awareness from hell even if our life is from heaven. The angels set aside our false and limited awareness so we could experience the joy and love of our inner life which is eternal and universal, continually emanating from Our Great Universal Mother! We had to on a deep level develop trust in the reality of Her Life and Love; so that we will always remember it and maintain our trust in the reality that Her gift of life and love is continual even when we don't experience it. Because we can not always experience it. We must experience the limitations of being human in the world and those limitations are extensive, complex, and seemingly inextricable. So to give us faith that it is possible to make the long and difficult journey out of the morass of the realm of limitations, dense and vast, we had to experience so much of heaven that we are willing to struggle on our journey. We will experience the joy of heaven from time to time, which will help us maintain faith, yet I am sad to inform you of my conviction that the purgatorial path that we are on is very very long. Yet again we would not walk this path if we did not have great faith and we would not have great faith if we did not have such great and extensive experience of the reality of Our Great Universal Mother! For we did not know Her before and few know of Her today. Although there are many many other paths for discovery of the Source of eternal and universal life and love, we were chosen for this path and this way to know the Source of eternal and universal life and love. For us, and perhaps for no one else, Our Great Universal Mother is Source of eternal and universal Life and Love! So we don't have to judge other spiritual and religious communities. However I doubt that any of you wants to jump ship, even if you know it will be rough going. And for that I am deeply grateful. It seems to me that we are closely bound to each other; thus we are a community and have been brought into a level of unity. Let us see what the angels want to teach us and more importantly how we will develop as people and as community. Thank you for being here and please be assured that we are greatly blessed by Our Great Universal Mother!

Johanna and Maria arranged two chairs on the platform and then went and got their guitars and sat down facing the congregation. Johanna mentioned that both she and Maria had experienced much inspiration over the past week for writing new music and song appropriate for where the church had been for a while. They sang separately and together and especially when they harmonized the effect was stunning. The songs were mostly a lament for having to leave the joy and love of experiencing heaven. Metaphors such as leaving the banquet hall, leaving one's home and family, remembering resting in a summer meadow, and so on. The congregation was intensely focused, some were softly crying, and all were relieved that they could experience sorrow and the memory of joy in such a way that the richness and depth of life could be appreciated. The congregation was deeply appreciative of Johanna and Maria for the gift they were being given. Their ministry of music and song was indeed a great blessing.

After Maria and Johanna had finished performing, Johanna spoke:

I hope you all have at least a little faith in the unknown evolution of this church. Maria and I will be as sensitive as we can to inspiration from the angels from Our Great Universal Mother who are ultimately responsible for our development as a church. We hope you pray to Our Great Universal Mother and seek inspiration and wisdom for your personal journey of development as well as your contribution to our church community. Please realize you all have our gratitude for your presence and attention, for just being a member of the congregation. Feel free to communicate any insights that you might have. Michael did not want to talk from this platform this afternoon, however he has much potential to reveal some of the hidden wisdom that he possess. So I have asked him to teach a class on Monday evening at 7:00 here at the church. Anyone who wants to can come and it is not necessary to come every week. Again thank you for being here this afternoon. May Our Great Universal Mother bless you greatly!

Monday evening Michael was standing just in front of the low platform from which Johanna and Maria perform and speak on Sunday afternoon. In front of him was a small movable standing desk he used as a sort of lectern. About ten people sat scattered among the chairs facing him. Although nervous he had a strong sense of purpose for being there and even a vague sense of hope. He spoke with an earnestness that he didn't expect to have:

Thank you for being here this evening. Although I have never done anything like this before, when Johanna asked me to do this it made perfect sense to me that it could be useful. A little reluctantly I feel that I need to share a little of my personal history as it is linked with how the beginning of the church developed. And that is joined with what the church is. For we are beginning to discover more fully what the purpose of the church is. For about two years we were primarily enjoying the discovery of love from Our Great Universal Mother during

worship and celebration. Metaphorically we came to a great restaurant every week and enjoyed the food and fellowship. Now we must go back into the kitchen and learn how to cook, and do all the routine chores necessary in a kitchen like washing dishes and scrubbing pots. It is not just the enjoyable aspects of a restaurant that make it work but also difficult and uncomfortable tasks. If anything necessary is missing the restaurant soon can no longer function. There is much more mystery to a church. Much of the contribution to our experience is from the invisible spiritual realm. It is not obvious what we must learn to do and what we must accept is necessary for us to do. But we are being guided while we are in ignorance. However because of my past development of some spiritual understanding, it is now my job to try and help you in your development of spiritual awareness and understanding. But forgive me if I am often uncertain, because I have never played this role before. So what makes me qualified for this job? It is how much that I have learned, and my learning started 20 years ago. It is then that I began to read in earnest the 4 volume book, "The Way to the Eastern Light." There are 3 sets of the books in the church library. It will probably be impossible to find more copies so I request that you don't take any of the books home with you. The church is open to its members most of the time. The library has several tables and some comfortable chairs. Or you can take a book out into the larger space we are in. The book is intense. It will be difficult to read more than a little at a time. Probably you will need to be in contemplation and maybe prayer at times between reading. Much of what I will be talking about is based on what is in the book. So it is not necessary to read any of it and it might not be possible for some of you to do so.

From a talk by Michael, Monday evening class at the Gloucester church of

Our Great Universal Mother

All mind is ultimately spiritual. That includes the vast continuum between hell and heaven. We don't realize that because mostly mind is communicated by human beings in our physical world. However the physical world is actually a continuous creation from spiritual causality. Obviously we don't know how. Mind is not physical, our awareness is not physical, but awareness can be much about the physical. Nature and biological life is much more mysterious than most people know. Mostly because what they know is limited by assumptions about reality that are part of a very limited way to know reality. This is the secular and scientific focus on observable physical measurable reality. Although that area of reality is very limited, knowledge within those limitations has increased incredibly over the past centuries and has yielded industry and technology that are very powerful in the physical world. But in the 21st century the limitations of secular knowledge means there is much suffering in the world that can not be solved for. Disillusionment with society is general and no type of institution is exempt. Obviously there is no agreement on possible solutions; so it is pragmatic to keep what is archaic to prevent descent into chaos. However countless smaller groups, organizations, and communities have been developing alternative ways of knowing. This includes alternative ways of healing and maintaining health, which often includes alternative ways to understand biological reality. Some of these ways come from other cultures and include knowledge of the close relationship of spiritual and natural reality. To be simple a mechanical understanding of biological reality is a vast distortion. In some cases what modern medicine can do is very effective but in many if not most cases the beneficial effect is very limited and in some cases harmful but not acknowledged. Beneficial or not it is very expensive, it consumes a lot of resources financial and human which are not being employed elsewhere.

Sorry for a bit of digression. Our secular way of knowing is good at certain things but limited if not harmful for much of human life. Because some things have gotten worse in recent decades disillusionment is extensive. Because we as a society have no agreement on how to solve for ongoing problems, this indicates the culture as a whole is ignorant. Many people are convinced that they understand and have a program that will be effective, but because they cannot gather consensus nothing can be implemented and their suppositions remain untested. To be blunt their understanding could be mostly false and they would not know it. So perhaps the conflict in society is beneficial as different communities of false understanding limit each other and the potential harm of their false understanding.

So what can be done? As I said countless small communities of alternative awareness and understanding exist and will continue to evolve. The massive world goes on as it always has and how humanity evolves we can not know. So there is nothing that can limit hope but there is nothing that can be known about the future. Hope is from faith. So what generates faith? It is some experience of what is eternal and universal. Humans have much but limited capacity for such experience. Religion throughout the world and throughout time has provided some awareness of the universal and eternal. But it is very difficult to experience what people experience within their religious community if you are outside of it. People who don't experience much within a religious community leave when they have the opportunity. So their descriptions of their former religious community might be mostly focused on the negative aspects of that community. And any human community is going to have negative aspects, and sometimes horrible. In general traditional religion has been in decline and alternatives have been in growth. And we are one very small group that has grown within this much much larger development in society.

From a talk by Michael:

If we accept humility we can accept our ignorance. Non acceptance of ignorance leads to acceptance of awareness and understanding that is to various degrees false. So people think that they understand but their understanding might be false. It is futile to argue with someone and try and prove that they are wrong about something. Usually they will either get hurt or hostile. Either way they will not consider your argument unless it is to counter argue. Thus reality is not easily known. Conversely much if not most of our participation in the world does not require much understanding. It takes very little understanding to use an elevator yet most people don't know how they work and especially how all the component parts work. Society is amazing in how very many diverse sets of specialized knowledge are integrated. Yet it is possible that no one understands how everything is integrated. Perhaps some areas of patterns of integration are understood by a few people. However it is possible to accept that trans human spiritual mind is much more intelligent than any person, or even groups of people, and is continually communicating with our limited human minds. Yet we know nothing about mind beyond us except for some deductions from what we know. Thus mind beyond us is not necessarily from heaven and exists at different levels between hell and heaven; and is more responsible for human communities of awareness and understanding than we know. If we accept that what we don't know does exist, and we have some indication that reality beyond our knowledge does exist, we could accept any realization that some patterns of awareness and understanding that we believed were true are actually false.

Because you have experienced so much spiritual awareness from angels from Our Great Universal Mother, you probably accept the reality of the spiritual realm and the reality of Our Great Universal Mother. But you also have a lot of awareness about the world and of your self in the world. All that common awareness didn't disappear, somehow, and I don't understand how, the congregation was brought into exalted spiritual awareness for an unusually long time. But now it is obvious your common awareness persists. What I will try and teach is some knowledge and understanding of ways to discover spiritual awareness of Our Great Universal Mother that are more sustainable even if less intense. We are going to discover the path to heaven that others can follow. However it is a long and difficult path because it is purgatorial. We can not be in heaven with much awareness from hell. So slowly we must be transformed. This is the long path that I been on for a while. But I am still walking it. I am still undergoing incremental transformation. But I am capable of being your guide on this journey. Yet the metaphor of a journey is not quite accurate. Because you will at times experience being in heaven. What you must learn to accept is the dissipation of experiential grace and your recurring experience of limited common awareness and at times awareness of hell. Because unfortunately some experience of being in hell could much contribute to the purgatorial decrease of false awareness of your self and of the world. Because awareness is much more than thought. Awareness contains much emotion. Much deeply held emotion. Emotion binds assumptions and attitudes deeply within your awareness and mostly unconscious awareness. Awareness includes memory and unconscious memory from your personal history. All of this indicates how dense are patterns of false awareness. But false relative to what? False relative to reality that is beyond most people's knowledge and awareness. Only if reality is being revealed to you will you realize what is false. For it is spiritual reality that teaches you, that intimately within your awareness both reveals what is true and conflicts with what is false. So unfortunately you might experience more distress, not less! Primarily it will be memory of the bliss of heaven that will allow some acceptance of this difficult purgatorial awareness development that is the path you will be on for a long time.

The Way to the Eastern Light

Chapter 5:

Creation

In this modern age we have a multiplicity of creation stories. Anthropology has discovered different creation stories from different cultures of the world. If you accept that your culture is not necessarily better than another, you might even accept since all of your knowledge is learned from your culture, you don't have any absolutely true knowledge. Because Modernity has made available knowledge of the relativity of knowledge, we have the potential for an incredible evolution of culture and knowledge. Evolution includes the decay of the archaic. This yields chaos. Multiple endeavors to discover knowledge produces multiple diverse awareness and knowledge communities that have little relationship to each other especially those without sponsorship by an institution. Ironically society will experience a decrease of integration with the increase of knowledge. Because diverse awareness communities might have little awareness of each other, can not communicate or understand each other, or might be in conflict with each other.

The very small community that is responsible for this book understands how incomprehensible it will be to most people. However we have hope that some people will find them of great value in their journey of discovery of Our Great Universal Mother. We know that She is responsible for the development of the community that gains awareness from Her. So it is not possible for us to know how that will develop. We do not know how a very small awareness community relates to the much much larger world. But this is how society is evolving, an increasing multiplicity and diversity of awareness and knowledge communities who have limited awareness and knowledge of each other. We can only have faith in the purpose of creation. Ultimately there is One Original Source for the infinite multiplicity and diversity of creation. Humility accepts the inherent limitations of human awareness and human spiritual awareness. It is an extraordinary gift to have a little awareness of Original Source, Who we know is Our Great Universal Mother. We can also acknowledge that everyone else knows Original Source differently. So our house is distinct and we are nurtured within it as everyone else live in a vast multitude of other houses.

The Way to the Eastern Light

Chapter 5

If for whatever reason you have not accepted any creation story from different cultural communities, you might realize and even accept that you are ignorant of the origin of creation. It is possible to accept ignorance and live in your experience without reliance on a cultural understanding of creation, and it is possible to participate fully in the world. However it is also possible if in relative emptiness of cultural assumptions to experience grace from beyond common awareness. Grace can reveal the source of grace, and you might be given a way to comprehend that source as Deity. If you are reading this perhaps you will know the Source of Grace is Our Great Universal Mother. So yes, this is cultural spiritual awareness. Every spiritual awareness community has its cultural aspect. You can adopt the spiritual cultural awareness of one community and respect the spiritual cultural awareness of other communities. If you have some humility you can recognize it is beneficial for a person to belong to a distinct community of spiritual cultural awareness and have participation within that community. Yet how one person belongs to one community and not another is a matter of fate. Some people are on spiritual search and do not belong to any community; they might be learning from different books or teachers and have not joined any specific community. At some point they might discover a community they can belong to.

The Way to the Eastern Light

Chapter 5

It is crucial to accept paradox. For us Our Great Universal Mother is Creator of the universe, yet for all others their Deity is Creator of the universe, and we can accept that. So you do not need to argue with others about their creation story. However you do not have to adopt other creation stories either. It is an aspect of spiritual awareness to have some idea of what creation is but it need not be detailed and extensive. Most of our awareness is within the infinitely small set of patterns of our personal awareness which includes specific circumstance and specific people. The culture you engage with is only a small sub set of all culture. This book (in four volumes) is only one book out of millions. You are only one person out of millions of people. Thus humility is just acceptance of reality. Because your awareness is a micro set of all other awareness, it is best to accept ignorance. Much of this book is just an intelligent way to understand our ignorance. If you accept your ignorance then you do not necessarily need to know much of a creation story. Some simple creation story is useful for having comprehensive awareness. Importantly comprehensive does not mean an extensive amount of knowledge; comprehensive means to have some way to at least partly integrate your total set of awareness, all the different aspects of it. The simple creation story offered by this book is:

Our Great Universal Mother is Source of all existence, all life(and love), and all awareness. Emanating continually and eternally are infinite Life and Love from Our Great Universal Mother into the Great Void, the Great Void of existence, life and awareness. Eternal and Universal Life by combining with the Great Void generates infinite patterns that are to various degrees limited in their incorporation of existence, life, and awareness. This includes what you have and have knowledge of. However people have the potential to become aware of the eternal and universal aspect of life, and that life is eternal but patterns of life are not. You can become aware that your existence, life, and awareness are one with the Original Source of All existence, life and awareness, and such awareness is experientially exalted love.

The Way to the Eastern Light

Chapter 5

The infinite multiplicity of finite patterns coexist with the unity of creation,

Universal and Eternal Creation from Our Great Universal Mother!

It is natural and necessary to focus on the finite patterns you have, but except if you have overly identified with those finite patterns including patterns of awareness, you can be aware that you are a portion of eternal life and awareness. Thus to know you are eternal you must know Source of all eternal life, existence and awareness. To know who you essentially are is to know Creator of you. So this might be an inchoate awareness, not necessarily expressed by a more detailed awareness. But if you are given a more explicit awareness of the creator of eternal life, you might be given awareness of Our Great Universal Mother.

So you will need to accept the fluidity of awareness. Awareness can flow back and forth from the exalted to the mundane, from the infinite to the finite, and from the universal and eternal to the circumstantial and temporal. The incredibly dense and complex awareness that we have is not much conveyed by the abstractions described in the language of this book. It is your opportunity and privilege to develop as full and rich awareness of reality in all of its dense complexity as you can. It is you who are a precious creation from Our Great Universal Mother and hopefully it is you who are learning to know who you are.

Maria and Johanna started a private prayer vigil Friday evenings and soon were guided to invite three other women to join them. They established a routine of segments of silent prayer, spoken prayer in unison, and discussion. After meeting a few times Maria in prayer was strongly guided to start to wear the medallion for several minutes while in prayer at the vigil. It became part of their vigil for two or three of the women to wear the medallion for several minutes while in prayer.

Maria was keeper of the medallion and she had the responsibility to choose who to give the medallion to and when. Whoever wore the medallion would remove it when she felt uncomfortable and hold it wrapped in its linen cloth until she could give it back to Maria. One Friday evening Maria asked Rosalia to wear the medallion during a time of silent prayer.

Rosalia placed the cord of the medallion over her head and around her neck and adjusted the cord so the medallion was centered, about over her heart, before she went into prayer. They were all seated in a circle about 8 feet in diameter facing each other.

When Rosalia went into prayer while wearing the medallion she felt a gentle ecstasy she had only a few times before experienced during prayer, but she was in shock when standing before her, while her eyes were partly open, was a woman. Rosalia accepted that she was in a waking dream state because before her was a vista of mountains, and standing on the grass on a slope of the mountain valley was a woman wearing multiple layers of clothes, some having colorful patterns. Her forehead, neck and hair were loosely wrapped with colorful scarves that extended fluttering into the air. Her skin was brown and her face was slightly smiling but her voice was earnest. "Rosalia beloved, thank you for the courage to behold me, an angel guiding your church. You must both keep in humility and know how important your church is. Dedicate yourself to your church as much as possible. We have a specific request for you. Cook and host a weekly dinner at your church for your congregation. Ask for the help you will need from others. Prayerful service to others will grow the cohesion of your church community and bring it closer to heaven. The others will be grateful to you. A dinner is the most concrete way to nourish and communicate love to others. You will also have the gratitude of the angels of your church." The angel deepened her smile towards Rosalia and Rosalia felt washed in sublime love. Then as if jolted awake Rosalia only saw the others in the circle in the space of the church. She bent her head slightly to remove the cord from the back of her neck, wrapped the medallion in its cloth and held it while closing her eyes and reentering prayer of gentle gratitude for Our Great Universal Mother.

Sometimes on a day off Michael would take the bus to Rockport east of Gloucester. On the northeastern side of the small harbor were rocks jutting out into the Atlantic that Michael would sit on. Looking out over the vast ocean he could feel the world behind him was not important. That included even the church. Although now he had some responsibility for leadership, he didn't like the burden; he didn't want to feel responsible for others. He knew he did not have to feel responsible, but he had to go into deeper prayer to have the experience that the angels of the church were responsible and he just had to do what he was inspired to do in the moment. But deeper prayer requires deeper emptiness of common self centered awareness. Michael's participation in the Gloucester church was as large a change from his normal self centered awareness as it was for anyone. Over time awareness of belonging to a community had increased so his sense of being an individual had been gradually decreasing.

A church is not just a group of people who believe what seems to outsiders like an arbitrary set of doctrines. The beliefs of a church are metaphorical descriptions of spiritual reality. Thus different churches can have different beliefs but they are similar in their inspiration from the spiritual realms. The grace people gain from worship in a church is beyond anything that they can gain from other ways to participate in society. Thus the commitment of church members including their financial commitment is not understood by those who do not belong to a church or other religious or spiritual community.

Although Christianity has been massively accepted by millions of people, and is the way they find their communication with heaven, many people are alienated from Christianity and can not consider joining a Christian church as the way to know anything of heaven. Because Christians are people with large sets of limitations, it is easy to observe those limitations and conclude that Christianity is limited, and perhaps false. But if people are alienated from Christianity then they might be open to alternative spiritual awareness communities if they are also disillusioned with secular cultural awareness as a way to convey grace.

The Way to the Eastern Light has been an almost totally ignored communication of alternative spiritual awareness. Over a century after it was written a small community of alternative spiritual awareness formed in Gloucester, some of whose members have gained much from study of at least some of it. Especially of course Michael. Yet mostly the spiritual awareness of the church has not been directly dependent on the book. There has been incredible direct inspiration from Our Great Universal Mother and Her angels with the members of Her church, especially Johanna and Maria. The Gloucester church is not dependent on a set of beliefs. Johanna and Maria have been inspired in their songwriting in discovery of metaphorical language that along with their inspired music has communicated so much spiritual grace. Michael in his Monday evening talks also uses metaphorical language at least slightly different than the text of The Way of the Eastern Light. The Gloucester church is in continuous inspiration from the spiritual realm, from Our Great Universal Mother.

26 Church of Mariatheos in New Bedford

In 2025 the first storefront church of Mariatheos started in New Bedford on Union Street.

Maria Vistagrande had been reading the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos for several years after a sponsored facebook post promoting the book intrigued her. The book was available for free on Facebook. Evidently the writer only wanted for people to read it. It was an unusual way to make a book available but Maria became very interested in it.

It didn't take long for Maria to begin to pray to Mariatheos and at times the grace she experienced was overwhelming. Maria grew up Catholic but once in college she learned enough secular understanding of reality that she could give up religion entirely. Because for years her discomfort with the Church had been increasing. She found it both mostly empty ritual and full of contradictions and hypocrisy. No one was acting like Jesus; no one was exuding bountiful spiritual love; everyone was mostly concerned with their own circumstance and their work in the world; and the clergy just seemed to be doing their job; and she discovered many of them weren't even celibate. Although the Bible didn't really make sense to her, the mystery of spiritual awareness was to some degree communicated by the Church. So she couldn't reject it completely as long as she lived at home and went to church with her mother every Sunday. But when she went away to college she could ignore the church and was grateful for the opportunity to learn as much as possible. That there were pragmatic reasons to do well at college affirmed her focus on learning secular knowledge and the assumption that this was the way to solve for the mystery of reality.

When Maria graduated college and began to live and work in the world it became increasingly apparent that college barely prepared her for life in the world and did not provide any understanding of life in the world. Work was to some degree oppressive, she had to spend time at home dealing with work, without her choice and without extra compensation. Her salary barely covered her cost of living and she could save relatively little. She was grateful she didn't have to work at a really low paying job but she didn't see how she could afford to have children, but she wasn't going to depend on a man and his income. She wasn't going to rely on something that was intrinsically risky as all relationships were. Getting married didn't change how precarious such relationships were. She knew too many horror stories of failed marriages. She knew the contradictions of expectations for marriage often created intense pressures that could cause some people to buckle under. Some women lost their children to foster care because life became intolerable.

Maria had some friends but on a gut level had rejected romantic relationships. She didn't flirt and she didn't respond to any man's attempt to engage her. She had a close encounter with sexual assault in college and the trauma stayed with her. Everything she heard from other women only confirmed her distrust. It seemed there was no way of knowing if a man would freak out on you especially if you rejected him, especially if you wanted to end the relationship. Even if most men didn't behave badly, it seemed every encounter with a man was a gamble that could pay out disastrously if one's luck ran out. Maria didn't gamble.

From the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos she learned that romantic love was false, that marriage was a false foundation for family, and that Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is the source of true love. For the first time her partly unconscious convictions about marriage and relationship were affirmed.

After beginning to pray to Mariatheos, the experience of Divine Maternal Love was sublime. Unfortunately such Love was only experienced sometimes. Maria understood that her life was a purgatorial journey to the heaven of Mariatheos. She accepted that she could trust she was always being guided by spirits and angels through the suffering that was unavoidable while on a purgatorial journey in the world. The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos was helpful but increasingly she became open to direct guidance and teaching from the spiritual realm. And after a few years she was being encouraged to become a teacher herself and start a Church of Mariatheos in New Bedford.

When inspired Maria Vistagrande exuded charisma. Although charisma has been often used by people to manipulate other people, because Maria was serving Mariatheos, she could trust that Holy Spirit of Mariatheos was responsible for her participation with others. She knew Holy Spirit was within others even if not known. Maria knew she was just representing Love from Mariatheos in the world. As much as possible, after the church opened, Maria would try and shift others focus to contemplation and prayer to Mariatheos. Because such contemplation was experientially distressful at times, because contemplation inherently must focus on one's limitations of capacity for prayer and reception of grace, Maria had to encourage others to have a spiritual focus even if difficult. In other words Maria would have to as gently as possible shift peoples awareness away from the charisma Maria emanated and to the source of the charisma given to Maria. Thus Maria was also inspired from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos in her teaching. People came to the church to listen to Maria because of her charisma but Maria's job was to show them the Source of all Life and Love, their Divine Mother Mariatheos!

The church started out as a growing group of friends meeting on weekends at a cafe on the corner of Union and Purchase streets. Although they didn't necessarily talk about spiritual awareness of Mariatheos, there was often talk that was about spirituality. It was the Holy Spirit of Mariatheos that guided the gathering of those who would become the group that formed the church. This was a process that was unconscious to most of the group. Outwardly it just seemed like a clique of people who both attracted and rejected people. The process of group formation had a mysterious purpose at first only known by Maria but also by a few others who grew closest to sharing the same spiritual purpose as Maria. For Maria was not completely reticent about talking about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. However she only did so when inspired by Holy Spirit or angels of Mariatheos. Some of her friends started to read the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos available on facebook. And over time some started to pray to Her. A few got together and created some devotional songs; by the time the church opened a group of two guitarists and three vocalists could perform more than enough songs for a church worship service, and several of them were simple enough for the congregation to sing.

Five people became the leadership group of the church. They both donated much and asked others for donations for the purpose of starting the church. They rented the storefront space and did some simple preparation of the space like cleaning and painting, buying chairs and a few tables, as well as a large coffee maker. They built a simple low platform stage. Maria suggested that the church not use electronic amplification. It really wasn't necessary especially in the size space they had. Everyone was excited on opening day. Everyone they knew was invited. At 2:00 pm on a nice September afternoon about 50 people showed up, some just out of curiosity. The next Sunday about 30 attended and that was approximately the average attendance for a while.

At the first gathering of the Church of Mariatheos in New Bedford.

After 20 minutes of music and song, Maria Vistagrande walked onto the low stage and spoke:

Hello and welcome to our first worship gathering. Let me acknowledge that many of you have not yet adopted Mariatheos as your focus for prayer. Some of you might not believe in a spiritual realm. It doesn't matter what you believe because the discovery of spiritual awareness is a journey. No matter if you are just beginning the journey or have been on it for decades our awareness development is an ongoing process. If much of what I say does not make sense to you, if you can tolerate that yet still want to be here then that is wonderful. Spiritual awareness is not conceptual anyway. Music and song communicates more than talk; but for those who need an alternative understanding that supports their spiritual awareness, these talks might be helpful.

Mariatheos is Mother of all Life and Love.

However most people do not believe that and there is no way to prove that is so.

People have a great diversity of ways to worship god. All ways are valid and valuable to those who are focused on their way to know the Source of all Life. We live in a society that guarantees the right to worship anyway people choose to. And as well as the major religious traditions there are many small obscure groups that have different ways to worship. I believe that there is mysterious spiritual purpose to this great diversity. Thus although in this church we worship Mariatheos, we must respect everyone else who worship differently.

So we really don't know why we are on one path and not another.

Mystery is often the only explanation for much of reality. If you can accept mystery you already have much capacity for spiritual awareness. You might have less of a struggle than those who more need to understand. My talks are more useful to those poor folks, (a little laughter in the room while Maria smiles). So if you're blessed with acceptance of mystery then just have some compassion for those who are limited in their capacity to do so. But also for those who are gaining spiritual understanding, be a little humble and don't assume others want to hear your spiritual wisdom. As I have said my talks will be helpful to some people sometimes, but what is more important is everything else in this small community of people who are attending this church. Both what happens on this platform and what develops within each of you sitting here. Both what develops during our worship gathering and more importantly what develops throughout the week both for you as individuals and you as a community. Everything is guided by spirits, Angels, and Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos! Thank you for being here even if some of you decide this community is not for you. This small church is a great contribution to those of us who have wanted it to develop. And thank you all who have contributed to its development. And now I would like to invite back to the platform our marvelous musical group.

Maria walked back to her chair as the guitarists and singers came up.

A talk by Maria Vistagrande at the church of Mariatheos in New Bedford:

Hello and welcome to our church. I am privileged to be giving these talks but please don't concern yourself with understanding what I say. Spiritual awareness is mostly not conceptual. Only a little of what I say might be relevant to you. So don't worry if you don't pay attention, I won't take offense, (Maria smiled during some subdued laughter). Holy Spirit is universal but for us here Holy Spirit is incrementally revealing Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Humanity is very diverse but all are interrelated to some degree. Although patterns of secular knowledge can be adopted globally fairly quickly, religious and spiritual knowledge can also be adopted by different people across the world to some extent. Although we are familiar with the adoption of Christianity by many people across the world, Buddhism and some aspects of Hinduism have been adopted by some people in America. To some degree awareness from Eastern religious traditions has changed as it influences Americans. So although Buddhism has influenced the teachings of the church of Mariatheos, that influence is not at all the same as the religion of Buddhism. Similarly the Marian Christian tradition heavily influences the church of Mariatheos, but our awareness of Mariatheos is very different from Marian Christianity, either Catholic or Eastern Orthodox. So it is best to understand the church of Mariatheos as a unique religion. To most Christians it is a heresy, however the church of Mariatheos is not Christian, so it's not really a heresy, it is a completely new religion, but one with so few people that it is just not known to most people including most Christians. Actually the religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos almost doesn't exist yet. A community of people expresses a religion; a religion needs a religious community for the interrelated aspects of religion to exist and be known. A text alone is an incomplete expression of religion. Just reading a religious text will reveal relatively little and unavoidably the reader will imagine more than what is in the text. Thus the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is not the religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. This church is developing the religion of Mariatheos. If other churches of Mariatheos develop they will be developing the religion of Mariatheos. However it is likely what we develop will be influential for other churches. So what we create here might be an important contribution to future churches. Of course I hope future churches develop. I have faith but no knowledge of the future. So we are just beginning to discover the religion of Mariatheos. As we become open to inspiration from Angels and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos we will discover Her Life and Love and as we express that awareness into our community, we will be discovering the religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

We can not know much of purpose for our little church. Some of you are here out of friendship more than spiritual awareness of Mariatheos. You are as much a part of our small community as anyone else. As I have said before mystery is more important than understanding. Holy Spirit infuses your awareness even if you have no conscious awareness of Mariatheos. However others do have some awareness of Our Divine Mother. We can experience love from our divine Mother without knowing Her by Her name Mariatheos. So the only obvious commonality is we are all in this room together. But since the leadership of this church does talk and sing about knowing Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, that is what we as a group communicate. And implied is that as a group we are growing in awareness of Mariatheos, even if not all of you have much of that awareness. But let me stress no one should feel pressure to conform to the spiritual cultural communication of this church. It is ok not to say the group prayers or sing the songs. Inspiration must be from within more than from others. But if you are here at least to some degree you are accepting the spiritual culture of the community.

It is sometimes difficult for me to contain the intense love and gratitude that I feel for this small community. Only by the formation of the church of Mariatheos can I experience such elevated awareness of Love and Life from Mariatheos, from Her continuous emanation of Her Holy Spirit! So your contribution to our church is deeply appreciated. Thank you so much! However I do often contain my expression of my experience out of respect for the experience of everyone here. And many of you do not yet experience much love and life from Our Divine Mother. We are all in purgatory; we are all in the world which is soaked in hell. The climb out of hell has been the purpose of humanity. But mostly humanity still is in various levels of hell. So life is purgatorial for everyone; and it is the purgatorial struggle that gives us the subtle but profound experience of compassion; we know suffering but have experienced some capacity to transcend suffering. So some of you here are in a deep prolonged purgatorial process of slow transformation. You may not exude much happiness and it might seem you are stuck in depression. I am unfortunately not going to be able to help you solve for the suffering you experience. All I can do is respect your purgatorial struggle. I can tell you that Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother is within you not much known during your unavoidable suffering. Because there is purpose for the world purgatory. And everyone has a unique journey within it. So you might not benefit much from others blessings. But to some extent we do contribute to each other according to our blessings. This church would not be possible without all of your contributions to our church. So to each of you, thank you so much! We are a small church but we are greatly blessed by Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

So let me ask our wonderful musical group to come back onto the platform.

A talk by Maria Vistagrande at the church of Mariatheos in New Bedford

Hello and welcome to our little church.

Although we pray to Divine Mother Mariatheos, our awareness of Her is limited.

So we are on a purgatorial pilgrimage towards Her Heaven. It is not at all obvious that this is real. Thus only faith gives us indication of our hope and belief in our purpose. And our faith might be limited also. But purpose doesn't necessarily need our faith or hope for it to be real. The church is like a ship sailing in the middle of nothingness. It is reasonable to doubt the ship is going anywhere and it is normal to regret leaving the imagined comforts and security of the land we once lived in. Yet a more accurate memory would know how much distress and lack of security we experienced back in the world we left behind.

Somehow we are on this mysterious journey together. Although I have been blessed with much spiritual awareness, I also have much ignorance about what will develop. To be simple mostly we should focus on the moment and observe what develops each moment. Each of us has different personal experience yet we as a group have a not necessarily obvious community awareness which is not necessarily even what happens on this platform during a gathering of our church.

As far as I know we are the only church of Mariatheos. However if some people in another town start a church of Mariatheos and leave no digital foot prints no one outside of town would know. And I have been guided to avoid setting up a website or social media presence for this church. The Internet can allow some hostile people to communicate some nasty stuff about any person or group that they consider outside of their tribe. Hostility towards women is unfortunately too prevalent. So you can imagine how some people would react to a church with a matriarchal religion.

So there is purpose for the church of Mariatheos to remain small and obscure for a while. The book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos suggests that humanity is in transition to matriarchal civilization. Patriarchal society has been decreasing in the intensity of patriarchal assumptions about reality. Even a half century ago women had less legal autonomy than today. Go back a century or more and it was even worse. The women's movement has been very effective over the last century. Unfortunately women still suffer from living in contemporary society. Yet men suffer also, and there is evidence that on average men are to some degree suffering more than women. So society is to some degree in hell. But who is responsible? It is false to assign blame to any group of people, not even the rich.. Society is too large, diverse, and complex for it to be understood. Everyone exists in an at least slightly different and often very different set of circumstance. Everyone learns from and participates in their circumstance differently. Although there are many different understandings of society they might all be to some extent false, because it is difficult to even know more than a little of societal reality. So both complex and simple stories about society have an audience or readership. But popularity or affirmation from those with high status does not provide proof any story is true. And in fact fiction is extremely popular. So people find great value in stories irrespective of what is true. The value of stories is from something more mysterious.

Stories correspond to people's awareness of their self in the world, their participation in community, and their awareness of the cosmos and spiritual reality. Thus stories are as diverse as awareness is. But that some stories are very popular indicates similarities of some people's patterns of awareness. It doesn't really matter whether the stories are fiction or nonfiction. But much of nonfiction is more like fiction than is obvious especially to those who believe those stories are real; yet for others those same stories might not be believed as real. This supports my belief that stories correspond to real experience, and reality is not able to be much known. My belief is that reality is mostly a mystery. But my explanation of how we can exist in such ignorance of reality is that we are continually guided from the spiritual realm. The stories that I tell about reality correspond both to my awareness and the community awareness of this church as it develops. Probably for many of you many of the stories of how you know reality are decreasing, perhaps yielding confusion and uncertainty. Alternative ways to know reality are in growth but perhaps develop incrementally and tentatively. Hopefully what I talk about might be helpful in acceptance of this difficult transitional process of awareness development. But again all of it is a great mystery. And if you accept the mystery of it all, you are very wise.

So let me ask our wonderful musical group to come back onto the platform.

After about 6 months the church of Mariatheos started to gain new members. Mostly they were people who knew someone in the church and sensed something about them that seemed to be a mysterious confidence, and different from the self confidence some people had that could be somewhat oppressive to others. In fact the members of the church often seemed to have compassion for others. And if one experiences compassion it is rare enough that it seems like a blessing. Although members of the church were careful not to proselytize, some were open about their experience of faith in Mariatheos. They didn't expect anyone else to adopt such faith, but some people they knew became curious enough to ask if they could visit the church. There was a small sign on the large window of the church facing the sidewalk that stated the time of the worship gathering and that visitors were welcome. But since it was a small church most people who passed by would feel a little intimidated to intrude on what seemed like a private group. So there did need to be at least an aquaintanceship with someone in the church for a visitor to feel at least a little welcome.

The church grew slowly because the contributions people were capable of giving each other could only increase slowly. People have a limited capacity for acceptance of and service to each other. All spiritual awareness is tested in the day to day life of a community. And spiritual rhetoric is much easier than spiritual service. People's intrinsic self centeredness often decreases reluctantly, and one proof of the spiritual realm is that we must be helped, inspired, motivated, and loved from beyond ourselves for us to incrementally slowly transform our common self awareness. Others in a church community can provide much of that but there is always a contribution from Holy Spirit. And especially at the church gathering people could feel the presence of angels and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

After a few years the church of Mariatheos held multiple worship gatherings throughout the week and twice on Sunday. The storefront church was often near capacity. But instead of trying to find a larger space, they decided to rent another storefront space on Purchase street north of downtown, and then later another on Rivet street south of downtown. In this way the churches became neighborhood churches and each church community had more of a local focus. By this time other people than Maria Vistagrande had enough wisdom and compassion that they could lead other churches. A church opened across the river in Fairhaven and undoubtedly the Church of Mariatheos would continue to grow in southeastern Massachusetts and beyond.

27 Church of Mariatheos in Newburyport

Patricia and Theodore were an older retired couple who lived about a mile northwest of downtown in a small house on a very small lot on Ocean place. They walked into town almost every day unless the weather was unusually severe. They spent a lot of time at the Mediterranean cafe on Pleasant street, usually reading; they felt comfortable with each other and they didn't need to be in conversation much of the time, after all, there wasn't much that they didn't know about each other.

One afternoon a young woman, after buying a coffee and a muffin at the counter, came over to their table and asked if she could join them. Surprised, but they replied, of course.

Darlene introduced herself:

Thank you for letting me share your table. I have only gone once to the Unitarian Universalist church in Newburyport, ( in fact it was on the other side of the street close by) and I think I recognize you as having been there; are you members of the church?

Patricia: Yes, we really appreciate belonging to the church. And we appreciate its openness to all expressions of spirituality.

Theodore: Yes, it seems foolish to narrowly believe in one religious doctrine. They all end up arguing with each other. Seems it is impossible to have Christian unity, although they all preach it.

Darlene: Well I am not a Christian so I thought I would try the Unitarian Universalists, but sorry, I didn't like it enough to go back.

Patricia: That's fine, but what didn't you like about it?

Darlene: Just too formal for me. It just seems like an Episcopalian church without Christian doctrine.

Theodore laughed: Sort of true. The worship service is definitely old fashioned. It still relies on much of Christian spirituality without the belief system. The churches heritage is Christian and only slowly moved further away from the Christian religion. But the tradition is still present. I think the tradition as far as music and spiritual language is what prevents the church from a descent into chaos if there was a serious attempt to make it contemporary. At this point in history there is knowledge of a great diversity of global religions and you only have to go to a good bookstore to see how much diverse contemporary spiritual teaching is available. It would be impossible to have consensus. So tradition supplies consensus.

Patricia: Unfortunately Darlene has confirmed my suspicion that tradition is keeping young people away. We live in a time where growing numbers of people do not belong to a Christian church and are on spiritual search. Our church should be where many of them would find welcome, but a relatively small number join us. I am not sure of the numbers but I think the Unitarian Universalists as a whole are in a similar decline as other mainline Christian churches. Darlene, what is it that you are looking for in a chuch?

Darlene: To be honest I would love to go to a church like the one I used to go to in New Bedford. I just moved to Newburyport a couple months ago. I was looking for a promotion and an assistant manager's position opened up at a branch up here of the bank I was working for in New Bedford. But now I regret it.

Patricia: It's hard to move to a new town especially if you have left your circle of friends. But I thought you said you weren't a Christian. What kind of church was it?

Darlene: The Church of Mariatheos in New Bedford. We believe in Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. We believe that religious language is metaphorical; thus like you we believe all religion can be the way to know the Universal Source of Creation. But we have our own myth and more importantly spiritual understanding. And it is important to us that Source is Mother. Very very important.

Darlene was starting to feel depressed, so before it became too obvious she decided she had better leave. Before taking her dishes to the bus bucket back at the counter and leaving the cafe, she said to the others:

Thank you so much for including me at your table for a while. Was very nice to meet you. But I better be going.

Patricia: It was lovely to meet you. Best of luck with your transition to your new life in Newburyport. It really is a great town. Bye.

Both Patricia and Theodore were smiling at Darlene who was grateful to have met them.

Darlene was lonely and that is why she was presumptuous enough to ask to sit at Patricia's and Theodore's table; having recognized them from the church was just an excuse. This wasn't exactly conscious. Their kindness was appreciated yet unfortunately soon her underlying sadness became too strongly felt. On her walk back home from the cafe Darlene could do nothing but pray and ask Mariatheos for help. After a few minutes she had the realization that her recent solitude was pushing her to accept that a life of prayer could be the purpose of her life. Her past immersion in the church of Mariatheos was enjoyable but she had been more focused on life in the community of the church and she had less need to focus on her prayer life. But now that was going to be what would keep her from despair. In Newburyport she had tried to participate in other social activities and even other churches, but everything left her feeling at least somewhat uncomfortable or even more lonely. Financially it would be very difficult to go back to New Bedford. Her old job was gone and it would not look good to future employers if she quit. It would be a very poor choice if she wanted a career path that would be advancing. In prayer she felt like she was being encouraged to stay, that it was not a mistake to have left New Bedford.

Patricia and Theodore had been a little captivated by Darlene. As an older couple they had little interaction with young people. Darlene for some mysterious reason wanted to talk with them. Her vitality mixed with some regret over leaving her former home gave meeting her a heightened experience relative to the calm contentedness of their everyday lives. Her enthusiasm for her former church and her implied criticism of their church left them a little unsettled. Perhaps their assumption that the Unitarian Universalist church was the highest expression of spirituality available was a comfortable falsehood. Perhaps their spirituality was worn as a comforting coat that protected them from existential questions so elegantly and intelligently solved for by the church so that on a personal level they can be ignored. Darlene in her innocent enthusiasm for a religion that they never heard of before slightly awakened their need for spiritual answers more deeply known. But unfortunately that would first mean that spiritual questions would be more deeply troubling.

When Theodore did a search for Church of Mariatheos in New Bedford he could find nothing about a church in New Bedford but he could find the Church of Mariatheos on Facebook. However it was not about a physical church but just ideas about Mariatheos and links, also on Facebook, to fictional stories about discovery of Mariatheos by different people. To be crude it was just a bunch of propaganda for a religion of Mariatheos. Theodore was both intrigued and dismissive of what he was reading. Cleverly the writer short circuited criticism of the stories and discourse by stating that spiritual language is metaphorical. So the writer was not claiming the text was the truth but a way to the truth and all diverse spiritual communication could reveal the truth. Spiritual reality was known within personal awareness and community awareness. Which was a way to put the responsibility for spiritual awareness on the reader. Theodore found this frustrating, he was limited in his ability to critique the writing because the text would at times push the reader's focus back on their self. The text offered itself as a map but was clear that the reader was walking on their path no matter what the map or no map they were looking at. Theodore gave the writer his grudging respect. But Theodore's discomfort limited his engagement with the writing, and there was a lot of it. There were multiple links to different stories, and there was a long blog titled "Meandering thoughts about Mariatheos"; and meandering it was; Theodore at first read very little of it.

Patricia was more enchanted with Darlene than Theodore. Darlene was to Patricia a vision of her past much younger vibrant beautiful self. Time gradually wore away at enthusiasm and vitality. Gain of wisdom compensated; and also growth of capacity for acceptance of the inherent frustration of living in the world, and an increase in tolerance of chronic chaos, especially after children came into the world.

Patricia's life was as eventful and common as those of many other people. She tried to juggle motherhood and a good paying job and just about managed to keep everything from crashing. Everything had to be compromised with. She knew women could seldom admit that the quality of everything had to suffer if everything was to be maintained. That included one's physical and mental health. Chronic stress becomes normal; partly covert bitching and moaning becomes normal, regular self congratulation becomes necessary, and the deterioration of one's marriage becomes inevitable, because marriage is one aspect of one's life that isn't absolutely crucial to maintain.

Things got easier as young adult children miraculously demonstrated that they could fly on their own. Not every parent is lucky and the burden might continue indefinitely, perhaps until the parent child bond broke completely and the adult child rejected completely. Then the grief and guilt might persist indefinitely. Patricia was blessed to have avoided that fate and could even enjoy being proud of her children. Unfortunately they would have to suffer their own burdens with uncertain outcomes. So middle age brought some blessings and the opportunity to at least somewhat begin again, specifically to search for a new life partner. Fortunately Patricia wasn't afflicted with self delusion. She could intuitively know what she was worthy of and even more important, she could accept the vast limitations of most men her age. And it was that quality of acceptance that made her desirable. She met Theodore via a mutual friend and they were together ever since. When the both of them met Darlene, they had been married for 24 years.

Because Patricia was a little enamored with Darlene, a brief encounter with someone can leave a deep impression sometimes, Patricia was open to learning much from what was available from the church of Mariatheos on Facebook. The stories were without the depth of detail most literature contained and seemed to be secondary to discourse about spiritual awareness of Mariatheos; although sometimes just the phrase Our Divine Mother was used.

This was a deep idiosyncratic vision of Matriarchal religion. Patricia was not critical and gave the text the benefit of the doubt when it seemed a little crude. The only really important question was: could Patricia adopt any of the spiritual awareness communicated as her own? Could Patricia begin to pray to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos? Probably not yet. Maybe not for a long time.

Darlene was spending much time reading what was available from the church of Mariatheos on Facebook. She read slowly and spent much time in contemplation which might at times lead to prayer. After many months in Newburyport her level of distress from the loss of being part of the church community in New Bedford had declined. She had greatly increased her immersion in personal spiritual experience from reading, contemplation and prayer.

After a year in Newburyport Darlene became a different person. She had experienced much transformation of her awareness of her self in the world so that she did not orient her focus to others to satisfy her need for confirmation and affirmation of her existence. Although loneliness is from the absence of affirmation from others, loneliness does not decrease unless one's deep need for others has been displaced by more transcendent awareness. She had developed enough capacity for an abundance of grace that she was assured of being continually loved by her Mother Mariatheos, even during times she didn't experience such love because her focus was elsewhere.

The Unitarian Universalist church was willing to rent their downstairs meeting room; for instance Alcoholics Anonymous met there once a week. Darlene asked if she could rent it once so as to give a free talk about Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. The church agreed, they would include her talk on the calender of the church website, and someone from the church would take care of the minimal needs such as lights and locking up afterwards. Darlene was grateful but she would be a little anxious until she gave the talk five weeks from then. She would have to deepen even further her openness to spiritual inspiration from Mother Mariatheos. She was going to talk extemporaneously, her preparation would be frequently being in prayerful contemplation of inspirational ideas and language being given to her. But what she would actually say she would not know until she would be speaking. By the time of the talk she had more assurance that angels from Mother Mariatheos would be communicating through her. Darlene was just a servant of Mother Mariatheos; it was a blessing and a privilege to participate in the unknown spiritual purpose there was for giving a talk inspired by Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love.

There were over 50 people who were in the room to listen to the talk. Several people who saw it listed on the calendar of the church website shared about it on social media. So people who weren't members of the church were there also. Darlene was sitting in a chair in the third row at the side. No one knew she was the speaker until she got up and walked up front. There was no microphone but she spoke in an almost theatrical voice and everyone had no trouble hearing her. While sitting she was so deeply in prayer that she went into trance; and it really wasn't her who spoke.

Hello and thank you so very much for coming out this evening to hear me relate some knowledge of Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love. Many of you will agree that spiritual language is metaphorical. But all language is metaphorical in that words are not the thing itself. The unfortunate tendency is that if language is not portraying something immediately in front of you that requires your participation with the thing itself, you can to various degrees ignore the reality that the language is referring your attention to and just have awareness of the language especially if what is immediately described by language are ideas. Because ideas can be known at different levels of depth. Words are ideas themselves. So unfortunately modern people can be lost in realms of extensive complex patterns of ideas that seldom lead to experience of the thing itself, to the reality behind the idea. Again this is all a matter of degree. You might have a little experience of reality portrayed by language or concepts or you might have much experience and even participation with the reality described.

The unfortunate trade off in religion is to believe your religious language is directly joined with spiritual reality itself or to believe religious language is metaphorical and indirectly is joined with spiritual reality itself. The former might encourage much experience of spiritual reality but encourage intolerance of other religious language. The latter might encourage much acceptance of different spiritual and religious language but allows one more easily to ignore spiritual reality. Knowing great diversity exists there can be doubt as to the reality represented. The suspicion arises that it is all just language and ideas, perhaps imagination. Religion and spirituality are understood as culture, which can be appreciated as culture but not really as real as the world.

When religion becomes culture it might be limited in the degree it can be inspirational. Conversely if culture becomes so inspirational it transcends awareness of your self in the world, it becomes religious and perhaps even religion. For the great problem is not just the world but awareness of one's self in the world. This is existential awareness and is more unconscious than conscious. It is possible to have awareness transcendent of both your self and of the world. This contributes to transformation of your self and your relationship to the world. Unfortunately what I have just said are ideas that can be mostly ignored even if you agree with them. To go beyond spirituality that is mostly limited to the idea realm is difficult if your spiritual culture is mostly ideas. Then what is deeper than abstraction and conceptualization, even if beautiful and poetic? Worship of a Deity. Even though spiritual language is metaphorical, the power on the other side of spiritual language is much more real than most of us know. There are a great diversity of Deities whom it is possible to worship. Worship is inherently religious. The spiritual reality of every Deity is infinite and thus every one is equal to the original source of creation. But it is usually necessary to focus on one Deity primarily. If you accept a multiplicity of coexistent Deities then your spiritual awareness has already shifted and it is no longer possible to deny the superiority of the almost entirely unknown spiritual realms; and it might not be possible any longer to hide behind a primarily western perspective of reducing reality to the realm of ideas and language that can be held in both personal and societal awareness without threatening the self centeredness of the individual and the assumption of superiority of the knowledge of modern society held in its institutions.

We can hold paradox. Human experience is most fully understood if we realize that many different perspectives coexist. All language is a distortion of awareness of reality because words and ideas are vast simplification and reduction of extensive diverse aspects of reality. Awareness of reality can not be directly known by words or language. Language and words and ideas can direct attention to patterns of reality but direct engagement and experience with any microcosm of reality is greatly different.

So it is in our subjective experience that we know spiritual reality. And what I am suggesting to you is that prayer to Infinite Original Source will be much more fully known by communication from Infinite Original Source through Deific expression. The Infinity of Original Source generates experience not only through diverse religious portrayal but within all the vast diverse multiplicity of subjective experience. Because we know how vast the universe is it might seem reasonable to speculate that Original Source of Creation must be vastly beyond the human like representation of Deity. But it is because we are human that the most full experience of spiritual reality will be by experience of the human like manifestation of the Deific face of Infinite Original Source of Creation. Because we are human God must have as much human quality as possible without obscuring awareness of Divine reality. We don't do this, we don't imagine god in our image; Infinite Source communicates with us by Divine presence that as humans we can most fully know. So if you are thinking, well she is just describing Jesus Christ; well yes I am. Jesus is as fully God as you have experience of His Divinity. However I am also describing His Mother: Mariatheos is as fully God as you have experience of Her Divinity. So someone might ask, why didn't I just say so in the beginning? Because I am offering the possibility of worship to Mariatheos without making the claim that our myth of Her Divinity is historical. You do not have to believe our myth is more real than other myths. And even our myth is not necessary, all one needs to do is pray to Mariatheos for someone to begin to experience grace from Mariatheos. But especially for educated modern people, some understanding of the paradox of worship is valuable. 2000 years of widely adopted religious tradition gives validity to worship of Jesus Christ. And for 2000 years, religious tradition has included Marian devotion by millions of people. Marian devotion is the tradition that has inspired worship of Mariatheos. We have elevated the Queen to possession of the throne. In our religion Mariatheos most fully communicates Infinite Original Source. Because some of us need a new religion.

The church of Mariatheos is substantially different from traditional religion.

Who gave birth to you? Who created you? Your mother!

God as Mother is much truer to our most foundational human experience than God as father. God as father is only possible if society is patriarchal, if everything in the social and cultural community people live in teaches and enforces awareness that the highest authority is the king or its equivalent, maybe a council of men. Today the historical memory of how severely society has been patriarchal has faded. However we still live in its legacy and since most of modern society derives from the limitations and assumptions of the past, we are very heavily burdened by patriarchy even if it seems we have moved beyond it.

To know Infinite Original Source as Our Mother is an incredibly more intimate relationship than God as Father. Christianity offers the relationship of God the Son. This has allowed a wide range of awareness of relationship to Infinite Original Source and is deeply satisfying for millions of people. I am not here to argue against Christianity but to offer an alternative to those who for whatever reasons are alienated from Christian religion or who have not been able to establish their personal awareness of spiritual intimacy within a Christian church. Mariatheos is available as intimate personal awareness of spiritual reality. However people have extensive limitations of their capacity for spiritual grace, for the experience of being in eternal and universal life and love.

To be simple, Mariatheos is as real as your experience from Her. So discovery of spiritual awareness of and from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will be intermittent. For our normal awareness is persistent and only incrementally decreases as discovery of spiritual awareness develops incrementally. The path of one's spiritual awareness development can be difficult, full of confusion, distress, frustration, and ignorance. There seems to be choice as to our journey of discovery, yet after a while the realization might develop that we have always been guided and have less choice than we thought.

So, thank you for listening to me this evening. Please forgive me, but giving this talk has drained my ability to sustain an outward focus. I must sit down and go inward, so I will be unavailable for questions or discussion. If you are interested in exploring more about the church of Mariatheos, please go on Facebook and read what is available. You could also visit New Bedford and visit the church of Mariatheos there. And now before I sit down I must beg Patricia to please come up here and moderate any further discussion that people here might want to have. Patricia is a member of the Unitarian Universalist church here and did not know that I would ask her for this favor. Again thank you for listening and good night.

Patricia was shocked when Darlene spoke from the front and asked Patricia to come up front, but she was also a little thrilled. She could never forget meeting Darlene a year before but was pleased Darlene remembered and recognized her. She had gotten used to the fact that older women are mostly forgettable. Although Patricia could not have prepared for what she didn't know would occur, she was perhaps better capable of fulfilling Darlene's request than anyone else.

When Patricia came up front Darlene smiled with gratitude and reached out to hold her hands and softly said, " Thank you so much Patricia. May Mariatheos bless you greatly! "

Patricia also was smiling and replied, "You are entirely welcome my dear."

Then Darlene slowly walked back to her chair, sat down and closed her eyes exhausted.

Patricia looked out at the people many of whom she knew. Nervous she involuntarily thought, Oh Mother help me please. Recognizing that the thought was a little prayer she smiled and began to speak not knowing what she would say:

"Beloved members of this church and others who are here this evening. Indeed this has been a very unusual talk by Darlene, a young woman I have met only once before but am pleased she remembered me. During that brief conversation with her she related just a little about the church of Mariatheos. Being curious at home I started to read what was available on Facebook as she had mentioned in her talk here. Over time I read quite a bit so it is appropriate that I should be up here. So you could ask me a question or make an observation or an understanding that you have. Just try and not go on too long. Ok, who wants to say something? And please remember to talk loud enough so we can all hear. Lets see, John, you first."

John: " Thanks Patricia. Yes that was an unusual talk. Yet I doubt anyone is going to change their spiritual understanding. We have developed our understanding of spirituality gradually over decades, it is part of who we are. At our church we recognize the inevitable diversity of personal spiritual awareness and have no need to agree on anything. I guess that could include belief in Mariatheos if someone was somehow convinced of that. But I doubt if that will develop for more than a few people if that. As I said we all have firmly held personal spiritual understanding."

Patricia, " Thank you John. Anyone else? Ok, you can go ahead. Obviously I don't know everyone here."

" Hello, my name is Lucia, and I am so glad I came here to listen to this evening's talk. What a breath of fresh air! Women have had to suffer conformity to systems of knowledge that have an inherent patriarchal bias and suffer participation in institutions created by patriarchal society even if most of the participants are women as in education and healthcare. We are constrained by patterns of thought, assumptions and attitudes that can not be questioned without being ostracized or expelled. Our institutions are juggernauts that help less than they claim and crush more people than they admit. Religion has been foundational to society even if society becomes mostly secular. So definitely, we need a matriarchal religion and eventually a matriarchal society to nurture us within. If the church of Mariatheos will help us evolve in that direction, then that is wonderful!"

Patricia smiling, "Thank you Lucia. I must admit I agree with you. Yet it is difficult to hope for the evolution of matriarchal community. That prospect scares most people, both men and women. So we must have mercy and not talk about it. Ok, who else, (laughing) yes I see my dearest husband Theodore."

Theodore smiling: "Thank you my love. Patricia and I both met Darlene at the Mediterranean Cafe about a year ago. I too spent some time reading about the church of Mariatheos. Although more skeptical than my wife I can recognize much that seems true. Yet even within the text is recognition that habitual patterns of awareness tend to persist and resist change. Especially that which is deeper and more a part of one's self awareness, and one's awareness of reality. For indeed it is very threatening if one's foundational awareness is being forced to change. For I don't think it can change otherwise. So it's a dilemma, we might recognize our limitations but can not accept any alteration of foundational patterns of awareness. The only way that this might develop is by slow careful deconstruction of the old structure and slow reconstruction with evolved patterns of awareness of reality including one's self. Perhaps so slowly it is barely noticeable."

Patricia: "Thank you dear Theodore. Anyone else?"

Patricia recognized Kathy who spoke:

"Even if we don't pray to Mariatheos, I think some of us feel that God as Mother has been ignored. Obviously Christianity does not recognize God as Mother, but interestingly both the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches include Marian devotion. Mother Mary or Maria is definitely divine, but her divine status is less than the Trinity of God. To be blunt no matter how high Mary is in Heaven She is not God. If She was God every assumption within Christian theology would be overturned. I come from a Catholic background, on the folk level Jesus and Mary are equal. Many women pray more to Mother Mary than to Jesus. I believe that at the folk level people do not make careful distinctions as to the hierarchy of Divinity. At the institutional level it is very important because it justifies the hierarchy of the institution. But fewer people believe in the sanctity of any institution, and especially the institution of the Catholic church has failed miserably historically recently. Those outside of the Catholic church probably don't care that much about the church but the Catholic church is still larger than all the protestant churches combined. Sorry to go on about this but I agree it would be revolutionary if Marian devotion was liberated from Christianity as we know it as a mostly patriarchal religion and set of institutions. So I am very happy that the church of Mariatheos has accomplished this. I definitely will be looking at what is available online."

Patricia smiling: " Thank you Kathy. I am definitely seeing a pattern here, women are more receptive to the idea of the church of Mariatheos than men are. Yet I don't know if acceptance of the idea will lead to acceptance of devotion to Mariatheos."

Patricia called on a man who she did not know.

" Hello, my name is Patrick and also have a Catholic background. Yes, prayer to Mother Mary was always comforting to me. The judgement of God was always a frightening prospect and it was never clear if Jesus was condemning or forgiving. When the Boston Globe broke the stories about the abuse and the cover up it made me sick. I was almost ready to accept the extreme protestant churches accusations that the Roman Catholic church was demonic. But I just ran away as far as I could from Christianity in general. I have explored all sorts of alternative spirituality but also have suffered at times disillusionment. So I have been on spiritual search for many years and I hope it will be possible to find some fulfillment of my spiritual quest from the church of Mariatheos. I am grateful for the opportunity to hear Darlene speak. But I must admit it is partly her spiritual charisma that indicates something amazing is possible by devotion to Mariatheos. So I am hopeful it is possible for me."

Patricia was moved by Patrick's speaking. She paused before she spoke:

"I think it best to wrap up the evening. Probably some will want to talk with each other so try and arrange to go somewhere to talk further. Thank you all for being here; something extraordinary has occurred even if we don't quite understand what it is. My deep gratitude for your talk Darlene. Mariatheos has blessed you greatly!" Patricia and Darlene who was still sitting were looking at each other smiling, then Patricia looked at the others, "Good night everyone and may Mariatheos bless us all!" Patricia had to admit that she was now a believer in Mariatheos; how that would develop could not be known.

Awareness of Mariatheos steadily increased for Patricia after the evening of Darlene's talk. Unforseen Patricia was initiated into the spiritual church of Mariatheos. When she and Theodore were sitting at the Mediterranean cafe sometimes someone would ask to join them. Usually they wanted to talk to Patricia about understanding Mariatheos. Mariatheos seemed both intriguing and ridiculous. They might feel foolish for taking the idea of Mariatheos seriously or just feel confusion about the possibility of taking the idea of Mariatheos seriously. Mostly Patricia said little and just listened to others think out loud, voicing their confusion and conflicting ideas. However others' meandering pondering only strengthened her faith because the other was just obviously lost in their mind, and revealed how inconsequential most thought is. She never revealed her discernment because the other had no choice but to wander in their journey of discovery that only the angels could guide. But if someone was talking to her about Mariatheos then Patricia could be confident that was the direction their journey of discovery was going towards.

When Patricia was asked by Darlene to come up front and moderate any discussion after Darlene had completed her talk, although Patricia was extremely surprised, she seemed to handle the responsibility very well. Theodore was impressed with the leadership shown by his wife. He could appreciate the enchantment of the evening and accepted what seemed to be Patricia's conversion that evening to faith in Mariatheos. Although this was not so for Theodore, he could not help but have faith in the reality of Patricia's faith, and in fact he was a little envious. So he was supportive of Patricia not only in her faith but in her new role as someone others were seeking out to talk to about Mariatheos. He enjoyed listening to others and was curious about how others were trying to understand what could not much be understood. For it became clear to him that faith was a mystery and that how someone came to faith is a mystery. Of course it was a huge mystery that it was Mariatheos that some people were exploring developing faith in.

Gradually about ten people who were at Darlene's talk discovered faith in Mariatheos. Although they had all at times spoken with Patricia, they mostly didn't know each other, even those who belonged to the Unitarian Universalist church. They usually felt the need to keep their new faith secret, mostly out of fear of unvoiced ridicule by others.

Because Patricia had been listening to the people who were developing faith in Mariatheos, she knew of their fear of judgement by others and their reluctance to be open about their faith. Because she felt it would be good to gather as a group, after much contemplation and prayer about what to do, she was given inspiration with an unusual plan for meeting as a group.

The Captain's Table was a large seafood restaurant on Center Street off of Water Street. Patricia rented the upstairs room for private parties the second Friday of every month. She gave the group a funny name to hide the serious nature of faith in Mariatheos. The Seabirds of the Merrimack ostensibly met for a fun dinner at The Captain's Table once a month. It was a closed group and impossible for outsiders to join, but if someone had a close partner who knew them well and could keep a secret, they could join the group.

Patricia and Theodore would pay the bill for the dinner. Patricia had privately spoken to everyone and assessed what they could afford to contribute and everyone agreed and was grateful. Darlene was the honored member and it was agreed her contribution was her presence and nothing else.

Everyone was excited to meet for dinner the first time the Seabirds of the Merrimack met. Patricia encouraged everyone to order whatever they wanted, there was more than enough to pay for everything. Although she didn't mention it, that was because Patricia had been encouraged in prayer to heavily subsidize the dinner; Theodore agreed. During dinner most of the talk was people curious about each other and some knowledge of each others circumstances was gained. It was over desert and coffee after the dinner dishes were removed that the serious talk about faith in Mariatheos began. The coffee and a second round of desert lasted for another hour.

Patricia: "I am overjoyed to be having this fellowship with all of you. Thank you for being here and a special thanks to those of you who do not believe in Mariatheos but who want to be with your partners on this special evening. Please feel free not to pay attention. You can even look at your phones, on mute of course, if you want to. Faith in Mariatheos is a gift from Mariatheos, if you do not have faith you have as little choice as those who do have faith. If you do not have faith in Mariatheos but support your partner who does, you should know that you have their gratitude. You also have our appreciation that you are willing be here."

Theodore: "Although my wife has faith I do not, and am just a bit envious. Yet it makes no sense to me so it is impossible. Yet I marvel at what has developed for Patricia and it has been necessary to accept that our relationship has changed. In fact I accept the matriarchal principle inherent in the religion of Mariatheos as it has manifested by the leadership quality of Patricia. Being retired I have no role in the world that requires leadership or even competency, so it is easier to accept that our marriage has the quality of being matriarchal. It could not exist otherwise, at least without constant conflict."

Patricia: "Thank you dearest, and I am fortunate that you accept what I believe is the truer aspect of the relationship of men and women. However eventually any type of marriage might become archaic as matriarchal communities evolve. At this time such partnerships are necessary precisely because matriarchal communities have yet to develop. It is the implications of worship of Mariatheos that makes it difficult to accept Mariatheos; because both women and men can not accept matriarchal community. What matriarchal community would be is a mystery that can be barely known. There is a little portrayal in the stories of the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos available on Facebook, but they are very lacking in detail. The bigger problem is that it seems impossible for them to exist. But what can exist is faith in Mariatheos. It is substantial faith in Our Divine Mother or Mariatheos that makes the fictional utopian communities possible. It is easy to conclude very high levels of faith would be necessary for such a matriarchal community to develop in the world. So perhaps our development of faith in Mariatheos will contribute to gradually growing communities of faith in Mariatheos so that eventually such a community will exist."

Lucia: "I fell in love with Fredonia even though the portrayal of it was too short. It is tragic that such a community is impossible. The portrayal of New Oakport was also too brief but it is at least possible to build something like that today. Yes, they both require high levels of spiritual awareness from Our Divine Mother or Mariatheos. But I have to believe that is very possible. Because the hope of living in community closer to the utopian depends on communities of high level spiritual awareness, that should be our priority! Perhaps I am naive but that is what we must work towards. It is now obvious to me that nothing else will work, not technology or science or philosophy or political theory. Everything about secular society is near bankrupt, is almost a total failure. Yes, I am convinced the only hope for humanity is spiritual hope and for me the most hopeful spiritual expression that I know of is the church of Mariatheos!"

Kathy: "For me also. However my focus is more personal. I have less hope for humanity and believe the world is created to be difficult. The world is purgatory. We must literally pray our way out of purgatory. It is an endless road but we walk only one step at a time. Discovery of Mariatheos has been wonderful! My prayers to Her are deeper than what I have experienced previously in years of Marian devotion. Probably because Mariatheos as Creator of all life, as the continually flowing Source of eternal and universal Life, is more powerful than the ideas associated with Mother Mary. Because Father, Son, the Holy Spirit are supreme, Mother Mary is secondary. And implied is Her power to give grace is less than the Holy Trinity. In other words She is not God. But glorious Mariatheos is God! This has made all the difference. Unfortunately it still seems to be heresy, and I can not be open about my new faith. This is the only hope I have, that someday it will be more acceptable to believe in Mariatheos."

Patrick: "For me I am grateful that the text is honest about how difficult the purgatorial path is. It suggests that it is more difficult for men than for women. Yet it also seems most people reject the church of Mariatheos. The dates of the entries of the posts on Facebook that constitute the text are many years old. It doesn't seem that people have flocked to discover Mariatheos. One post revealed a you tube channel devoted to Mariatheos, those videos are even older. Nothing available online about Mariatheos has been widely shared. It is just not popular. So I don't understand the path we are on in relation to other more popular spiritual paths. It doesn't matter if we just focus on our personal awareness and personal prayer life."

Mark: "It doesn't bother me that the church of Mariatheos is so obscure. Every new religious movement starts very small and most remain small. There must be a purpose for every different spiritual community just as there is purpose for every different person. We don't have to know our purpose for us to have purpose. Spiritual and causal mind is very much mostly not known. Yet there is a church of Mariatheos in New Bedford and perhaps elsewhere. If a church of Mariatheos formed in Ohio we wouldn't necessarily know about it. The text available on line could be inspiring more people than we know."

Finally Darlene spoke: "Popularity is not important at all. What is important is the depth of awareness of and from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. She wants people to know Her and Her Holy Spirit within their awareness of life as intensely as possible. For only deep awareness facilitates spiritual leadership. Yes, the path leading towards heaven is intensely purgatorial. But because it is very long the intensity is spread out over time so it is bearable. So it takes a long time for the church of Mariatheos to become more real in the world. From a historical perspective it is probably faster than it is going to seem to us. The formation of spiritual community takes extraordinary leadership. The founder and leader of the church of Mariatheos in New Bedford is Maria Vistagrande who is an extraordinary woman. Although Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is responsible for Her churches, She must partly operate through the women she develops to become leaders of the church. Although I had a very intense spiritual development for over a year after I moved here from New Bedford that enabled me to deliver that talk at the meeting room of the Unitarian Universalist church, I hope that I never have to do something like that again. Fortunately angels from Mariatheos had already chosen a wonderful woman to be the leader of whatever small community develops in Newburyport who know Mariatheos. So I am incredibly grateful for Patricia. My love for you Patricia is deep."

Darlene started to softly cry. Everyone else was moved and a few softly murmured: "Yes, yes, yes." There was silence for a few moments as people sipped at their coffee.

Patricia: "Darlene my love, everyone here is eternally grateful for your willingness to serve Mariatheos and deliver your talk that has profoundly changed the lives of the members of this group. Perhaps being older my life experience has prepared me for leadership but it is relatively easy because we are a small group of people each of whom has assumed responsibility for their personal spiritual awareness development. It is wonderful to come together once a month for fellowship but mostly we are on our own. And Darlene your insights are going to be especially helpful. So perhaps we will call it a night. Thank you all for your contribution to this great evening we had together. Until next month may Mariatheos bless us all greatly!"

Mark raised his coffee cup and said: "To the Seabirds of the Merrimack!"

Everyone else laughed and raised their cup and said with gusto in unison:

"To the Seabirds of the Merrimack!"

Some of the people at the meeting of the Seabirds of the Merrimack exchanged contact information. There was some communication between members during the month between each time they gathered for dinner at The Captain's Table. Lucia was the most interested in communicating about Mariatheos, but she sensed some resistance by some of the others. She arranged to talk with Patricia at the Cafe Mediterranean, and if Patricia was there Theodore was also there. When Lucia came into the cafe and saw them already seated she went to the counter, got her order and came back to sit down with them.

Smiling Lucia said: "Thank you so much for meeting with me. Forgive me but I am beginning to feel frustrated. I guess my enthusiasm comes off as oppressive. But I don't know what to do. What do you think Patricia?"

Patricia actually waited a few moments to be in prayer. She wanted to answer from inspiration and not her own judgement. She looked up at Lucia and said: "My dear precious servant of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, your enthusiasm is inspired by our Mother's Holy Spirit. What you need to do is to seek answers in prayer as to where you should direct your enthusiasm. In other words you must develop wisdom to balance your enthusiasm for Our Mother. Accept that you can not know how you will be guided. You are a servant and can not much know how the future church of Mariatheos in Newburyport will develop. You must listen as closely as you can for instruction on what to do. But mostly you don't need to know what you are doing or what its effect will be. Be assured that I know you are a leader of our church before it develops. You will be very important in its development. Mariatheos bless you greatly in your contribution to Her church!"

Lucia was mesmerized by what Patricia was saying; listening she was almost in trance and said nothing in response. She broke the spell by finishing her coffee and scone. As she got up she intensely but in a half whisper said, "Mariatheos has blessed you immensely. I thank you with all my heart. Bye." She walked her mug and plate back to the bus bucket by the counter and on her way out paused by their table and placed her hands together and bowed to Patricia. After she left Theodore looked at his wife adoringly, and said:

"My darling, you are marvelous."

Ironically the enthusiasm Lucia had for communicating about Mariatheos, when brought into prayer forced a deeper openness to the spiritual church of Mariatheos. She began to be able to listen to spiritual guidance within her mind. She had become open to gaining wisdom directly from the spiritual church, and there was a lot to learn. So for a while she ceased her outward focus and became more of a quiet contemplative. She knew that Darlene had gone through a similar inward development for more than a year before her fateful talk at the meeting room of the Unitarian Universalist church that had changed Lucia's life.

Lucia was learning that it is necessary to have transcendent awareness of the world if one is to contribute to transformation of the world. She could have faith that Mariatheos was very slowly transforming the world. Most agents of transformation have different spiritual awareness than those who know Mariatheos, although Original Source is the same. However over many years and decades into the future more people would discover faith in Mariatheos. Lucia could not experience the future, but she could experience heaven to some degree. It was the task for Lucia to plow through as much purgatory as possible persistently, so she could experience more awareness from Heaven recurringly. So Lucia accepted the life of a contemplative. Yet she knew eventually she would be given some responsibility for evangelization. It would be necessary for some sort of public communication of the opportunity to discover Mariatheos before it would be possible for the church of Mariatheos in Newburyport to exist in the world.

As Lucia's prayer life deepened, habitual awareness of her self and of the world had to decrease. Sometimes that was because distress and confusion about either her self or of the world became so intense as to become intolerable, and the only solution available was to give up, to accept the strange experience of her awareness full of something seemingly real and persistent suddenly become empty. This is the miraculous mystery of incremental transformation of common awareness into transcendent awareness. Emptiness is a basic type of transcendent awareness and often the space of emptiness is filled by other kinds of transcendent experience, the highest of which is eternal love flowing from the heart of Mariatheos which for Lucia at times included the vision of Mariatheos radiantly regarding Lucia with marvelous exalted love.

The problem of suffering in the world can not be solved for in the world. It is necessary to accept the paradox that anyone who makes a contribution to others in the world can not solve for the general persistence of suffering in the world. Reluctantly Lucia accepted that the world was inherently a purgatorial realm, that for some extremely mysterious purpose Mariatheos somehow creates this horrible purgatory but She is the only way out! So it is possible to accept purgatory if one knows the Source of eternal life, if one knows one's life is eternal, if one knows Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love!

The monthly meetings of the Seabirds of the Merrimack ended after 12 months. By that time everyone had figured out that Patricia was heavily subsidizing the monthly dinner. So when Patricia informed everyone that it was time to discontinue meeting at The Captain's Table, everyone was agreeable and expressed gratitude for the year of gathering together in such an enjoyable way.

By that time most in the group had established friendships with some of the others. Such friends had already been communicating and meeting with each other, so spiritual fellowship would continue. However a few of them had conviction of purpose to somehow create a church of Mariatheos in Newburyport. After the disbanding of the Seabirds of the Merrimack, Lucia asked those she knew who shared that purpose to meet twice a month at a cafe for discussion about it.

Somehow it seemed more comfortable to avoid the cafe Mediterranean. They wanted to reduce the chance their conversation would be overheard by people they knew downtown. So they met at Dunkin' at the traffic circle about a mile and a half south of downtown. At a table next to large windows looking out over the traffic circle five people with devotion to Mariatheos met.

Lucia: "Thank you all for meeting with me to discuss how a church in Newburyport can develop. Even though there is a church of Mariatheos in New Bedford, we must find our own way. We are different people living in a different community and it is not possible to recreate another church's unique way they came into the world. Neither can we imitate another church's worship experience; we don't necessarily have the same talent or capability of those who lead the church there. I made the two hour drive to New Bedford one Sunday to visit the church. Indeed the charisma of Maria Vistagrande is without equal. And the music ministry was outstanding. None the less I had the discernment that if everyone from the church of Mariatheos in New Bedford came up here to recreate their church, it would mostly not be welcome here in Newburyport. So we have no choice anyway, we must discover how our church is to develop from our capabilities and talents; and from continual inspiration from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos."

Kathy: "I also want to thank everyone here. To be honest I don't quite want to work towards bringing a church of Mariatheos in Newburyport into the world. But within prayer it is very clear that is what I must do. What I want to suggest is make the church more of a place of contemplation than of celebration. The model of a raucous Pentecostal store front church has little appeal to me. I would like a beautiful sacred space for prayer to Mariatheos. Perhaps a formal liturgy with beautiful sacred music might bring us closer to Our Divine Mother than contemporary pop praise and worship music. Maybe no one else feels this way."

There was a pause for some moments before Patrick spoke:

"This is part of the problem in forming a spiritual community, finding consensus that also fosters enthusiasm. Perhaps Kathy's vision is how we should go. But it might be a while before we are ready to form a liturgy or church worship. We don't yet have enough people who pray to Mariatheos to form a church."

Mark: "The immediate problem and opportunity is evangelism. Any normal person is going to be resistant to subjecting oneself to judgement and ridicule from others. Perhaps like me you might have felt that way towards other people proselytizing. They are thought of as fools, deluded, perhaps psychologically captured by a cult, and they are felt to be oppressive and obnoxious. So since we don't want to appear like that, how do we communicate the possibility of discovery of Mariatheos, knowing others mostly will not welcome the communication?"

Although a little reluctant to be there, Darlene felt it was important to contribute to the effort to bring a church of Mariatheos into being here in Newburyport. A little softly Darlene spoke:

"My love to all of you who love Mariatheos enough to suffer at least slightly in order to serve her purpose; specifically to create a church of Mariatheos in Newburyport, which now seems almost not possible. Let me gently remind you that it was my willingness to publicly communicate about Mariatheos that brought you into awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Yet I had little consciousness of others potential judgement because I was so inwardly focused on prayer to Mariatheos. Yes I was nervous for weeks but I wasn't that conscious of potential judgement, probably that was a factor in my anxiety but consciously I was just worried about being able to as best I possibly could serve the purpose given to me. However because I could not communicate from my own knowledge I had to go deeper and more consistently in prayer to have the capacity to speak out of inspiration. What I said that evening was beyond my normal ability; I was channeling an angel of Mariatheos. That is how that evening was enchanted and you all began your discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!"

Kathy: "What Darlene so tenderly revealed is how paramount prayer is, how we can do nothing spiritual from our common human awareness. Thus the solution to the concerns Mark has spoken of is prayer. Prayer will allow us to be inspired by angels from Our Mother and not from any concern for affirmation from others. This should allow us to be sensitive to others and reduce the tendency to try and argue or convince someone of the truth we believe. This should reduce the tendency to appear oppressive in our communication and increase our discernment as to when silence is appropriate. Ideally it should always and only be angels from Mariatheos who communicate through us. Thus I am more convinced than ever that what is sacred is of most value; and our capacity to be aware of what is holy and sacred is of most importance."

Lucia: "Yes, I agree. We don't need to know before hand what we will do. We need to continually gradually develop capacity to become aware of our eternal life from Mariatheos and with that will be wisdom as to what to do and what to say in any moment that it is possible to serve our purpose for the development of the church of Mariatheos in Newburyport. So when we come back here in 2 weeks maybe some of us will have revealed to them something that will contribute to that development and maybe not. It is enough just to have fellowship in a shared purpose full of mystery and hope. Thank you to all here for joining this fellowship of purpose. Until next time, may Mariatheos bless us all greatly!"

Because the five people who met for coffee at the Newburyport traffic circle were dedicated to their prayer life, their focus on the world was incrementally decreasing. Ironically it seemed less important for the church of Mariatheos to develop in Newburyport. Darlene and Kathy had already felt that way however they were open to spiritual guidance to support the project. For a while the five were just a spiritual fellowship sharing conversation about devotion to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. It was very clear that each person had a substantial personal prayer life that was mostly private. It seemed even less possible or desirable for a group to form for community prayer and worship. Yet it still seemed Mariatheos had the purpose for such a community to be created, but perhaps not for a while.

During prayer one evening Patrick became open to a simple idea for public communication about Mariatheos. He felt a wave of enthusiasm and spent several hours working on the new project. He created an online site for communication about Mariatheos and he placed sponsored posts with a link to the site on social media targeted exclusively to Newburyport. Most of what was posted on the online site was just consolidated and slightly cleaned up text that had been available on Facebook they were all familiar with. He had pondered what to name the website. Eventually he was inspired to call it just: "Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love"; at 3:00 am he sent an email to the five to inform them about what he had just done. Then he went to sleep.

After a month of promotion most people in Newburyport knew of "Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love" and some people read some of what was available. But it was impossible to know if anyone else had begun to pray to Mariatheos. However the angels of Mariatheos knew and guided people in their inner journey through purgatory. What Patrick had facilitated was the growth in the number of people who were focused on their personal spiritual awareness development by contemplation, prayer, and some reading of available text about discovery of Mariatheos. Yet the five could not observe this development, they could only have faith that was so. What was developing in Newburyport was almost the opposite of what had developed in New Bedford. Yet there could be a way to have a little knowledge of others awareness of Mariatheos. It was Lucia who worked on that development.

Patrick had set up the website so it would not be able to receive comments. He was afraid of trolls and did not feel he could monitor comments and block trolls. It was not just the time involved but he didn't want to expose himself to potential hostility and he did not want the sanctity of "Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love" violated. In prayer he was assured his instincts were right. It did not necessarily serve the purpose of communication about Mariatheos for it to be open to comments. Only after several months did Lucia take on responsibility for altering what was possible for the site. She posted on the website that they were now accepting letters from the public about anyone's experience of discovery of Mariatheos. The letters (emails) would be reviewed before being published. This would greatly discourage people lacking sincerity because such communication would be sent to the trash.

Lucia took over being responsible for the online "Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love." Finally she had an outlet for some of her latent enthusiasm. She wrote an article of several pages about her awareness of Mariatheos and published it. She invited and encouraged the others to write as much as they wanted to and had those articles published. From the public she received just a few letters for publication and also some emails with questions. So she would write articles addressing some of the questions.

Although the online "Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love" could be viewed by anyone, because it was only promoted in Newburyport, mostly those who read it were from Newburyport. Slowly over a year or more an unknown number of people developed devotion to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Very few of them shared their experience via the online "Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love", but Lucia received some emails not intended to be published from some people who wanted to express gratitude for their discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Two years after the start of the online "Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love ", the five had all received in prayer encouragement to create a more substantial church of Mariatheos in Newburyport. After discussion and more prayer they developed consensus that Kathy's original vision was the direction to go towards. They wanted to create more of a chapel than a church. They realized that they needed to support individuals in their personal purgatorial journeys and not push for group participation in worship celebration. For some reason what was possible in New Bedford would not be possible in Newburyport. They were all convinced that the angels of Mariatheos were leading them and their vision for the future church was true. Yet much was unknown and would only become more clear as they proceeded towards its reality. Although Patricia had not joined the group of five, Lucia had been communicating with Patricia about what was being discussed. For Lucia, Patricia was an invaluable consultant during the slow very gradual development of an awareness community of Mariatheos in Newburyport.

An old brick building on center street that had been used as a restaurant for decades was put up for sale. The owners had retired, the kitchen was old and out of date and business had been declining for a few years because recently opened restaurants had captured some of their customers. So it wasn't possible to sell the Saint Michel Restaurant as a business; they could only sell the building which needed a few repairs.

Theodore had made a lot of money when he shorted the market in 2008-2009. However Theodore and Patricia lived relatively modestly, they enjoyed their home and felt no need to travel. A few years after his wife's conversion, Theodore finally experienced conversion to devotion of Mariatheos. Gradually he realized his adoration of Patricia was misplaced need for communion with Mother of all Life and Love. Unimaginably Our Divine Mother Mariatheos became as real for him as Patricia was. Over time his recurring sense of some irritation or humiliation in relationship to Patricia became understood as false; but then unfortunately because those negative feelings were inextricably joined with positive feelings, he had to question those patterns of awareness also. Reluctantly eventually he had to accept that much of his awareness within his relationship with his wife was some sort of codependency and false. His relationship could continue but his awareness started to change. He could more accept that Patricia was a fully autonomous person who he could only somewhat know. Fortunately a decrease in his false codependent awareness made it easier for Patricia to relate to him. Their relationship became better. Yet all of his interior need for assurance, for love, for some feeling that his existence needed affirmation, was still a problem and was exposed as persistent low level existential crisis. The only solution available was surrender to not understood faith in Mariatheos, and prayer to Mariatheos. He read everything available on the website "Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love." Theodore needed a lot of alternative understanding of reality, of spiritual reality. He needed to realize most of his life long secular and philosophical awareness of reality had been just as false as his codependent awareness. The spirituality of the Unitarian Universalist church somehow never threatened his previously unquestioned secular and philosophical assumptions. But devotion to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos did conflict with his habitual awareness and understanding of reality. So it was necessary to develop new awareness of reality, but for a while he would have to accept his ignorance. Fortunately within the text he had been reading online from "Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love" there was much affirmation of the wisdom of ignorance.

Not long after his conversion when his certainty of faith in Mariatheos was more stable, Theodore bought the old Saint Michel restaurant building for a little under asking price. He spent almost twice that amount on renovations. The old kitchen was completely renovated, part of an outer wall of the kitchen was opened up to put in windows, new equipment installed and new work spaces with marble surfaces. The kitchen was designed to look a little old fashioned. It looked more like an upper class kitchen in a private home than an efficient white tile and stainless steel kitchen of a modern restaurant. The kitchen would be a wonderful place to work. The dining room was of course renovated. The ceiling was high and a fancy tin ceiling installed. Some of the brick walls were uncovered and the rest of the interior walls were surfaced with much architectural mill work. The paint was relatively dark and multi hued. The windows were replaced with abstract slightly geometric colorful stained glass. Everything had an elegant but slightly rustic and luxurious feel; including the carved wood tables and chairs. The floors were composed of different color tiles placed in complex patterns. From the outside the only obvious differences form before were the stained glass windows and the new sign that read:

Seabirds of the Merrimack Supper Club.

The Seabirds of the Merrimack supper club required membership but most people were accepted. It was open to its members Thurs, Fri, and Sat evening. There was a small group that played Renaissance music throughout the evening. Later in the evening when most had finished eating, for a half hour one of the women sang the most enchanting songs from centuries ago or more contemporary but with the same feel. The seating was limited and reservations required. It only took half a year before the success of the supper club was certain. It was exclusive and expensive; yet a waiting list for membership developed a year after the supper club opened.

Yet for all of its success the supper club did not make Theodore a profit. Limited hours and limited seating limited revenue. The loan payments were substantial as the commercial mortgage loan covered both cost of the building and renovations. Operating costs were high. However Theodore didn't care; he was grateful the club was breaking even. The limited hours were because the building had a second purpose that was more important.

The church of Mariatheos was open from 10:00 am to 7:00 pm Sunday. Volunteers came at 8:00 am and spent 2 hours preparing the space. The heavy wood tables were made so that their sturdy legs could be easily detached and reattached securely. A large closet / small room is where the table tops and table legs were stacked. Before that was done the altar furniture was removed from the same small room and set up on the low platform where the musicians performed the previous evening. Thursday morning the process was reversed. The chairs were rearranged into several rows facing the altar space. A colorful patterned rug had been placed so it mostly covered the platform. The altar furniture was elaborately carved

with high back panels upon which icons of Mariatheos were displayed. Mariatheos was extremely colorful and slightly abstract so that She had no identifying ethnicity. She was universal and swirls of light emanated from Her. She was painted with iridescent paint and with ceiling lights directed at the three icons each in their elaborately carved wooden nooks,

the portrayals of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos shimmered and glowed marvelously.

Members of the church of Mariatheos came to the church which was more like a chapel at any time after 10 am for contemplation and silent prayer. However from 2 to 4 pm the same musical group that played during Thur Fri and Sat evenings played sacred music that they were commissioned to compose for the church of Mariatheos. They played relatively softly and sat behind the rows of chairs that were facing the altar. The church members were not an audience. The music had the purpose of facilitating unusual heightened spiritual experience. However at 5 pm the rows of chairs were pulled back slightly and the musicians set up in front of the platform. Two women stood on the platform in front of the altar furniture displaying the icons of Mariatheos. They were facing those seated in the room. The music was wonderful but the women singing were sublime. They sang for half an hour before sitting down. Instrumental music continued for another quarter hour. Then all the musicians packed up and left. The church was still open for prayer until 7 pm.

Mon, Tue, and Wed the church was open from 7 am to 9 pm. Mostly people came to be in prayer but there might be a meeting, class, or talk scheduled for an hour and half at some time during those days. By the time the building was available for use as a church the community of those in Newburyport who had faith in Mariatheos had become large enough and committed enough to make the church of Mariatheos in Newburyport possible. The church contributed to their faith becoming deeper. People with deep faith in Mariatheos could not help but help others who were struggling on their purgatorial journeys of spiritual awareness development especially those who were on the path of discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. The faith community of the church of Mariatheos in Newburyport grew larger and more solid over many years. What the church's contribution to the larger community would be is a story not yet known.

28 First Church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Vermont

A pastor of a small Episcopal church in a small town in Vermont had the sad responsibility for the closing of his church in 2025. The few members of the congregation would have to find other churches to attend and perhaps not Episcopal if they didn't want to travel too far. John Gansevort entered the ministry because he was more religious than most young men his age and he didn't have to concern himself with making money. He already had been gifted shares in the companies his family had substantial investments in when he was 21. Becoming an Episcopal priest held much prestige when he was younger. But as America became increasingly secular being a minister lost some of its luster, and even subject to slight ridicule by more people including the well educated, perhaps especially by the well educated. No one that he interacted with showed him any disrespect; however much of the culture they engaged with had little respect for religion or the religious. Because John engaged with the same culture: journalism, literature, movies, television, podcasts, etc. he knew the low level of respect others might have for his calling.

The counter culture of the 1960's had immense effect on popular music. But its immediate effect on cultural values has often been exaggerated. The decline in religion and religious assumptions about reality has been gradual since then. After decades of an increasing portion of the population gaining more years of secular education society has become more secular in its understanding of reality. More Christian churches developed a confrontational attitude towards secular society. Such Evangelical and Pentecostal churches gained membership. The formerly more prestigious churches that tried to bridge Christianity with the best of secular culture and secular society gradually lost membership even if that was mostly by an inability to gain new members, sometimes not even those young people raised in the church.

John only retired from the ministry several years before he might have anyway if his church hadn't closed down. It was more the emotional distress of his beloved church dying during his watch that brought him into chronic low level crisis. An early retirement was not a burden. It was how it happened that was a burden. He couldn't really accept it. Something was wrong with the world that Episcopal churches were closing every year in America. No one could reverse the trend.

Laura and John married after both completed graduate school at Brown University. John was an assistant pastor at a large suburban church for a few years before John was offered the position of rector at a church in Vermont. Laura at the time was in love and joined her husband in the romance of living in small town Vermont. She was able to play the role of a pastor's wife and immersed herself in the church community as much as her husband did. Such full participation in community is inherently satisfying; so Laura was relatively happy as a young mother.

By the time her youngest child had entered college, Laura was full of bitterness and cynicism about her life. Her love for her children compensated for the quiet disdain she had for her husband, who had ceased to be thought of as a husband for years. In her heart she was already divorced. The legal contract could wait for its complex disentanglement. But almost as soon as her youngest had left the home, she packed up her car and left also. She had apologized to her two children that they might not have a home with her living there to come home to for holidays and in between semesters. But life is not simple or easy. They both agreed that Mom deserved to find the life that she wanted. They would grow up a little faster and become more independent, which is what they did. Laura headed to Boston and rented a small apartment in the Back Bay. She immersed herself in the city and was thrilled with experience the opposite of what she had put up with for decades. She wasn't foolish enough to be looking for love. But if some enchanted evening romance found her, she wasn't going to resist.

John was relieved when Laura left. Living with someone who hates you is difficult. They lived as only slightly hostile and mostly cooperative housemates for years in separate bedrooms. Their children were not noticeably negatively affected. The care and concern their parents had for them continued. To them it became normal that parents don't necessarily love each other. But their young lives were not disrupted. After everyone had moved out of the house, and John had to get used to living alone, he had ample time to read the books he had for a while wanted to read.

Because it was Laura who left and John stayed in the community, he gained some sympathy from people he knew. He never talked about details and if asked simply said Laura needed to find the life that she wanted. But people missed her contribution to the church community. The congregation was getting slightly smaller and older each year. Everyone who had abandoned the church either willingly or not, was missed. More funerals were celebrated at the church than baptisms. Most weddings were performed for couples who did not belong to the church. No one talked much about the decline of their church. Nothing could be done. The growth of secular culture, secular society, individualism were all blamed. Of course the success of Evangelical and Pentecostal churches was at the expense of the older traditional protestant churches. Yet that tradition was extremely valued by those who remained. Ironically the contemporary interpretation of Christianity as expressed in sermons and in publications was far from traditional. Changes to church policy that reflected the most liberal understanding of Christian values did contribute to some people leaving the church for more conservative churches. Because liberal theology tended to be joined with a liberal or progressive political world view, some people left the main line churches for more conservative denominations. John knew all of this, but nothing could be changed without changing deeply entrenched patterns of spiritual and cultural awareness of the Episcopal church. The church had to be true to itself. So everything continued as it was. Until a church died.

Soon after he was in retirement, John was beset with chronic low level anxiety. He was afraid of falling into despair; it seemed to him that everything in his life had died, marriage, family and recently his church. Although he spent time in prayer, he felt little experience of grace. Slowly he was beginning to accept he was in a place of sorrow that there was much spiritual literature about that he was familiar with. He didn't feel like reading much but he already knew enough to affirm that he just had to go through the dark night until eventually he would see the dawn. With such faint hope he could accept whatever his experience of life was. He could accept his sorrow.

After many months of being in a state of depression (but not so intolerable that he was tempted to seek so called professional help, which he had learned by counseling others who sought out secular and medical based treatment, either did not work or was only slightly effective) John half remembered a couple short stories about Mariatheos. They were mailed unsolicited to his church about two years before it closed. He had read them but immediately dismissed them. Mere propaganda for some new religion that probably no one believed in.

Because John was so close to despair, he was forced to accept the spiritual principle of death of self. Christian spiritual literature including the Bible taught the necessity of the acceptance of the experience of death of self. But for most Christians including himself it was a principle admired in the Saints and mystics and not expected to be seriously engaged with by regular people.

When in prayer, John was beginning to suspect that he must go through death of self somehow. Because that prospect was inherently terrifying, John became more open to anything that might help even if non-traditional. He remembered from what he read about the religion of Mariatheos, that they used the phrase "emptiness of self", which seemed more gentle than death of self. The gruesome death of Jesus on the cross was supposed to be a substitution for our death, indicating we didn't have to suffer the same way. However Christian scripture is more vague and contains more contradiction than Christian theology. So naturally theological disagreement has always persisted. Sometimes Saint Paul would say that we must suffer what Jesus has suffered. The confusion and the fear but perhaps the necessity of something like death of self pushed John to consider the possibility of emptiness of self being the solution to his persistent spiritual and psychological crisis.

So John googled Mariatheos and found on Facebook a lot to read. John's distress forced an openness to wisdom that he would have before easily dismissed as being from a source too marginal to be respected. Something was resonating with him, and he read some and would come back to it hours or a day later. The wisdom about emptiness of patterns of awareness of self and the world allowed John in contemplation to begin to realize how his habitual awareness of himself in the world was not only false but could incrementally decrease, could become empty. Over months he became convinced that the writing about Mariatheos was the source of spiritual understanding that he needed. In prayer he felt confirmation. He was not yet praying to Mariatheos, but it seemed that within prayer he was assured that it would be ok if he did so. The religion of Mariatheos affirmed that Jesus Christ was God, it was just that Mariatheos was God and Creator and Mother of Jesus Christ. John was not quite ready to fully accept this, yet he had partially accepted it.

Although reading about discovery of awareness from Mariatheos was not same as personal experience of awareness from Mariatheos, by reading John was becoming familiar with the possibility of experiencing awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Eventually after several months John could pray directly to Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love and experience enough grace to confirm the reality of his prayer life. The religion of Mariatheos had much that was similar to Christianity but it had some advantages.

What John at first needed was wisdom about acceptance of emptiness of patterns of awareness of one's self. This was both a more thorough understanding and less frightening than the Christian emphasis on the cross. It was also a more realistic understanding by emphasis on the gradual incremental nature of spiritual awareness development. The church of Mariatheos often mentioned that we live in a purgatorial realm, that both Heaven and Hell are aspects of awareness development within Purgatory. This makes irrelevant any claim that an afterlife of exclusively either heaven or Hell awaits each person after they die. Even many Christians don't really believe that doctrine. In hindsight it seemed to John that Christian churches had to maintain several different spiritual understandings full of contradiction and potential confusion. That the coherence of the Christian church was from an unconscious balance of different metaphorical descriptions of spiritual reality. Sort of like a spiritual stew that in practice was nourishing and even crucial to the life of the community of the church. The arguments about doctrine were misplaced arguments about metaphor. Obviously different churches cooked a different spiritual stew. The spiritual awareness of one church would be at least slightly different from another. Reading from Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos awakened John's appreciation of the great mystery of all religion; and the mystery of each person's spiritual path. For some mysterious purpose John had discovered a new spiritual path to walk.

After a while the sense of being in chronic low level crisis decreased for John. He accepted that his life would be about contemplation, discovery of realization and the gradual shift of foundational patterns of awareness of his self and of the world. Because patterns of awareness of self and of the world are interrelated. He accepted that he was in an endless purgatory but hopefully awareness from heaven would gradually incrementally increase. Indeed sometimes in prayer he could experience exalted love from Mariatheos and he was exceedingly grateful. But more important such wonderful grace affirmed his faith when he was much more often in the common awareness of every day life and the difficult observation of distressful experience within contemplation. For the development of capacity for emptiness usually required such contemplation.

Over years John's spiritual life deepened. A slow steady walk eventually reaches a great distance. At times in prayer John could hear spiritual guidance and at times could feel great spiritual love. He fully realized the folly of human romantic love. Without the illusion of romantic love human sexuality could no longer be deified. He saw the wisdom of the knowledge that sexuality could not be separated from procreation. He could no longer maintain a supposedly enlightened acceptance of all sexuality; instead he understood it as mostly decadent. Decadence was not avoidable in contemporary society; false awareness of the misrepresentation of what was decadent as life affirming was also unavoidable. Yet being awakened he understood at least one factor in the decline of the liberal Maine line churches. Yet condemnation of the lost was also false. If people are lost they are helpless. The church of Mariatheos was an enlightened knowledge of the wisdom of tradition yet at the same time having wisdom about what was false in tradition. He now understood the purpose for the mailing of a little of the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos to Episcopal churches. Liberal Christian theology was relatively enlightened. Yet it failed to facilitate the growth of the Kingdom of Heaven. The liberal Christian church could progress no further, it was grand and beautiful, but archaic. It needed to be replaced by a church that has knowledge of the Queen of Heaven. It needed to be replaced by a church that knows Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

Someone had bought the old Episcopal church building and turned it into a grand residence. But it never really worked as a home and after enough years of living within its limitations the owner put the building back on the market and the family moved into a more normal house. When John found out it was for sale he knew that he had to buy it. Confirmation in prayer convinced him to go ahead. But he wasn't sure what he was going to do with it. That knowledge would come in time.

How in heaven would it be possible for the old Episcopal church building to become a church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos? For that could be the only purpose for it. John was going to have to have faith the angels of the future church would bring it into being. John was going to have to accept mostly being in ignorance. John would have to wait to see what would develop. Most importantly John would have to be open to inspiration as to how he was to contribute to the development of the church.

Five months after John bought the old Episcopal church building, Laura came back from Boston. Although almost two decades had passed since she moved out neither of them had initiated a divorce. It would be too much of an inconvenience for Laura and too sorrowful for John. So as years passed the situation just became normal. If either of them wanted to get married to someone else then of course it would have to be dealt with. But the possibility of getting married to someone never occurred. John never tried to get involved with anyone. His low level depression made him both relatively unattractive and unresponsive if a woman he knew took interest in him. His experience with Laura convinced him that it was foolish to believe anyone's love was trustworthy. Even years of happiness could turn into hostility and there could be no way to know beforehand.

Laura had been burned several times by romance turning ugly during her years in Boston. She began to hate all men and began to regard the whole romantic realm as a hell that should be avoided as one would avoid entering a toxic waste dump. She even enjoyed that getting older made her less attractive to men on the prowl. However Boston had lost its charm; she had done everything of interest often enough that it became boring. When she retired she contacted John and asked if she could come back to the house she still shared ownership of. After a day of prayer John sent a reply of yes.

For months John and Laura did little else but talk. They were both older and wiser and past resentment had been dissolved by the accumulation of realizations about their lives, which to some extent were more in the past than in the future.

Eventually Mariatheos became very real for Laura. Because disillusionment with the world had grown very large by the time she moved back to Vermont, she had much potential capacity for acceptance of spiritual awareness. She was earlier in her life a devout Christian and had enjoyed much fellowship in the Episcopal church for years. After conversion to devotion to Mariatheos she was more enthusiastic than John about creating a church of Mariatheos in the old Episcopal church building. And she soon realized she was being called to lead the future church and the effort to bring it into being.

In fact Laura had been as much a leader of the Episcopal church as her husband who had the recognition from others in society. But within the congregation Laura was an informal leader of their church community. It was she who organized many of the activities other than the Sunday worship service. Laura exuded love towards all in the congregation which was not too difficult because she felt loved by all in the congregation. This virtuous self sustaining dynamic within a small community of people is what used to be relatively common and to be simple made life sustainable in the world.

The increase in wide spread alienation in society is related to the decline in small informal community as an aspect of life in the larger society and the increase of institutions as the basis for most participation in society. The extended family used to be more common and a crucial support for people especially parents and children. The freedom of the individual to shape their own destiny is a myth that is showing itself as false. However it is not possible to go back to past patterns of community. The problem of creation of community is perhaps a very important dilemma to solve for. As limited as individualism is, it will not be abandoned easily.

Neither Laura or John were much focused on the problems of the world. John was hoping for a long delayed resurrection of his church, but into a spiritual community very different from what he had known in the past. He knew Laura would be leading its development and his supporting role was not yet known. A matriarchal church was going to be a new development in spiritual community and past models of the church would not have much relevance.

Laura had a barely suppressed enthusiasm for a new church and belonging to a loving community. Yet she knew that the evolution of matriarchal spiritual community barely existed in the world because of resistance by people who were not evolved enough to participate in such a community. She must temper her enthusiasm with wisdom and compassion. Only Holy Spirit from Mariatheos could transform people's personal awareness enough so that they could join a new spiritual community in the world, so that they would create a new spiritual community in the world.

About a year after Laura discovered faith in Mariatheos she felt confident enough and was experiencing enough encouragement within prayer that she decided to give a series of hopefully inspired talks at the church. Without extensive talks with John, Laura would never have discovered faith in Mariatheos. She must accept that people at first are not going to accept a new religion and some after listening a few times might reject it completely. But if she gave a series of talks perhaps some people eventually might discover faith in Mariatheos. What at first could seem preposterous with enough time might seem a way to know spiritual love that everyone really wants. Somehow the world is set up in such a way that discovery of the creator of all Life and Love is not easy or obvious.

Before Laura would give her talks the church would have to be renovated. The previous owner had taken out the stained glass and put in clear windows. Laura and John decided to keep the windows that way. There was much to consult with the architect about but to some degree it was best just to trust the architectural firm they hired which specialized in church architecture. Laura would have to wait close to a year before giving the talks. But she could start writing even if ultimately she would talk extemporaneously.

Laura read everything available on Facebook from the (not yet in the world) church of Mariatheos. And she read the text several times. When in prayer and contemplation she got many realizations over time that she wrote down. Within contemplation much of her previous understanding of reality was revealed as false. This included assumptions and attitudes that were barely conceptual but deeply emotional. It almost seemed like that she had to relearn awareness of herself in the world as if she was a young child. She realized she wasn't at all ready to communicate about Mariatheos; she was learning much and was often in confusion. She began to doubt that she could ever be responsible for such a purpose. She was assured in prayer that she would be ready when the time came.

The town Laura and John lived in was not too far from Montpelier the capital in central Vermont. They decided to call the new church: the Church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Vermont. It was possible some people might drive a long distance to attend if they were inwardly searching and open to discovery of awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. The new church would be unique and not necessarily would it appeal to much of the local community. Laura would give a talk the first and third Sunday of each month at 2:00 pm; the talk would not be too long and it was clear it was only a talk and there would be no worship service. That would only develop if there were enough people for worship.

After a month of social media promotion in Vermont, the first talk at the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Vermont was given in September. About 30 people showed up of different ages and from diverse types of social community. People who looked like they lived in the woods or on farms, to people who looked like they lived in towns or in expensive houses.

Hello and welcome to the first talk given in the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Vermont. My name is Laura, my husband's name is John, and together we have started this yet to be church. We call it a church but a church is a group of people who gather together for worship. They have the same religion and share a common basic understanding of spiritual reality. So I am giving a talk about a new religion that has devotion to Mariatheos Mother of all Life and Love.

Thank you all for coming here. I understand that there is an abundance of diverse spiritual communication available to explore. Somehow you were motivated to make perhaps a long trip to get here. Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos might be within you without your knowledge. Now, is the Holy Spirit exclusive to Mariatheos? Of course not! Words are metaphors to a vastly not much known spiritual reality. Holy Spirit can be known within multiple diverse religions and spiritual teachings. The religion of Mariatheos is not at all the only way to know spiritual awareness or even awareness of original source of all life and love. Although it is possible to walk through a dense forest without a path it is much easier and safer to walk on a path through the woods. There are multiple different paths available. So why a new path? Some spiritual paths have become less acceptable to more people in the modern age. A spiritual path and especially religion can not be completely separate from society within which we all live. The world changes with time. Gradually we all enter a new forest and some paths have ended.

This church building we are in used to be an Episcopal church. John was pastor here for about three decades and I enthusiastically was engaged with the church for many years. However after about two decades I lost my faith in my church and my marriage and lost my purpose for living in this community. So after my youngest left for college I packed up my bags and headed to Boston to start over. Gradually living in the big city lost its charm, after almost two decades there I packed up my bags and came home. Thankfully John agreed to let me come back. (Laura paused as her face betrayed some distress for a few moments) By that time John had been retired for several years. The Episcopal church he had dedicated most of his adult life to had been in decline for many years. Finally the church's congregation was so small that the church had to be closed. For John his beloved church had died. This precipitated a chronic emotional crisis, not so severe it was unbearable but distressful enough that it forced an openness to an untraditional and alternative source of spiritual knowledge. Somehow he discovered some spiritual communication that over time he could fully accept. His faith in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos had grown so strong that when this building was put back on the market several years after the empty church was first sold, John knew that he had to buy it. Five months later I came back to live here. Gradually at first but then more quickly I too discovered the magnificence, power, compassion and great love from my Mother Mariatheos. ( again Laura paused as she looked up past those seated with a look of sorrow and joy for a few moments, and then looked back to those listening) Don't expect to experience such an exalted state often if you accept Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as your Mother of life and love. Unfortunately our personal path is purgatorial, full of distress, sorrow, confusion and frustration. Yet having at times the experience of divine grace at various levels of intensity not only compensates for unavoidable human distress but gives the realization of purpose for our purgatorial pilgrimage through life. Hopefully if enough of us discover Our Divine Mother we can gather together as a family who can love and support each other. Unfortunately from common human awareness it is less possible to gather into a supportive community. We all have severe limitations on our capacity for love, for love that is not self seeking. For love can be many many different things. The love of food is not mutual, the food doesn't necessarily love you for being eaten. (a little laughter from those listening) Human beings have very complex patterns of participation and relationship to each other that contain to various degrees: exploitation, oppression, submission, hostility, grudging cooperation, coercion, misrepresentation, lying, stealing, dissatisfaction, resentment, boredom, grief. The more subtle and unconscious this litany of woe is within all patterns of participation and relationship, the more common they are experienced. So pretense is common and it is in everyone's self interest to agree to the shared pretense of life in community.

The divine love that sustains a church community is common in the world but it is limited. Churches have different levels of capacity for openness to divine love. Divine love coexists with more limited human and community awareness. Thus if you look for it you can find much within a church community that is not divine, is limited and even hellish. Thus the litany of woe can be experienced within a church as it might be within any other group of people, institution, community, family. If a person is not experiencing much divine love within a church, the human limitations of the church community are more than enough justification for them to leave.

The church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is a new path, so new that it barely exists. If you join this yet to be church you will help discover the new path as much as you will be following a new path. Specifically we do not yet have sacred music, many prayers, ritual, song, or anything that would belong to a worship celebration. We do not yet have the community of people who informally but crucially communicate the awareness of the church, of its religion. This will be a first church, we will establish precedents that might influence the beginning of future churches of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Yet we will do little from our common human awareness. The first church must be especially open to guidance and inspiration from the angelic and heavenly realm in the creation of a church that belongs to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. So even though I welcome any enthusiasm from any of you for joining this church, the true beginning of this church must wait for a group of people who have already within their prayer life developed much awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. So I will continue these twice a month talks for a while. When we will begin the next stage in the development of this church I have no idea. Thank you all so much for listening to me this afternoon. Feel free to invite others if you are so led. May Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you greatly!

29 Church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Berkshire County

Martha Farmington grew up in a rural household in Western Massachusetts. When her parents Helen and David got married they solved for Helen's refusal to take her husbands name as hers by both of them changing their name to Farmington (which was the name of a small river that began in Massachusetts and flowed into Connecticut). They were proud to be called hippies but they were just hard working owners of a family farm. Originally a working farm but farming was abandoned and it was bought as a second home by relatively wealthy people from New York City in the early part of the 20th century.

Martha's grandmother Rachel inherited the property when her mother left the world. However Rachel by that time was living in Southern California and had no use for it. When Helen graduated from university with a relatively useless Masters of Fine Arts degree in creative writing, her anxiety about how to proceed in adult life after leaving the protective bubble of academia was solved for by seizing on the idea of moving to the Berkshires and writing her next novel in splendid bucolic isolation. She begged her mother to let her and her boyfriend move into the abandoned property and look after it. Rachel was amused at this unusual request from her daughter. Partly out of sympathy but also because of some trepidation that Helen was too much of a perhaps spoiled romantic to make it in the world in the usual ways, Rachel went one step further and gifted the property to her daughter.

When David and Helen drove across the nation in his Forester (decades ago when they were much smaller and not yet ubiquitous) full of their possessions, they were full of naive enthusiasm and love for each other. They had not yet seen the property and physical reality seldom corresponds to imagination. Their hearts sank a little when they drove up to it and beheld it in all its dilapidated glory. For in some ways it was magnificent but it would need a lot of work and hopefully it would be habitable while they worked on it. When they entered they were relieved that the plumbing and electricity worked, but it was daunting how much work it would need. Something in their hearts broke as it was immediately apparent that stepping into that house was an initiation into a life that would be harder than they had foreseen.

Helen and David had to find paying work soon after they unpacked and did a minimal amount of cleaning to make living there tolerable. Employment opportunities were limited and their expenses were larger than anticipated. Taxes, insurance and utilities meant the cost of housing was not free. They were on their own. For both of them, their parents were slightly resentful at having paid for an expensive education for their children that seemed to be a luxury that they perhaps really didn't deserve. David also had a Masters of Fine Arts but in studio art. David and Helen knew that they couldn't just continue to ask for financial help from their parents. They both carried modest amounts of student debt. So they were plunged into not quite poverty but hardship that they were not used to.

Rural bohemians and are going to look like hippies. They are going to make a virtue of necessity. And detachment from the materialistic value system common in society is going to be fervently embraced. Any and all spiritual and cultural awareness that contributes to their life to some degree separate from society will be explored and perhaps elements adopted. From Appalachian folk music to old Yankee pragmatic knowledge of living on the farm. From Buddhism to Native American inspired spirituality to even perhaps rough rural Christian gospel music. Their music is inherently folk music, played on acoustic instruments in the home and at each others homes.

Martha grew up in this milieu.

Unfortunately rural bohemia is not utopia.

All sorts of suffering and alienation can be experienced.

Because Martha went to public schools, she could not help but to experience to some extent enculturation from society different than the enculturation from her parents. Perhaps to be too simple, if her parents rejected the bourgeois values of their parents she would have to reject the rural bohemian values of her parents. So she was going to be on a journey of discovery. Her rejection of her parents was subtle; she was grateful to them and was not uncomfortable being home. But she was more than happy to go away to state university. Because her parents were relatively low income, she was eligible for financial assistance and was willing to take on the amount of student debt necessary, and she always had some part time work.

UMass at Lowel was slightly less expensive and slightly easier to get in to than the more prestigious UMass at Amherst. But also Lowel was further away from home and was in a real city. UMass was so large in Amherst that it dominated the town. Martha liked the multi ethnic small city of Lowel with some good looking older buildings in the downtown. The University was downtown and not an enclosed separate enclave. Martha thrived at Lowel. Her unusual background made it easy to accept different people. She had little firm expectation of how people should be. But slightly suppressed was the anxiety about who she should be, or become. One anxiety was in choosing a major and an implied career path.

Martha finally decided to major in history but get a Masters of Business Administration at Lowel. She wanted help in understanding the world and history supplied comprehensive knowledge about the world. But she wanted to earn decent money when she left university and wasn't afraid of the work involved that would be necessary. She knew that her parents Masters of Fine Arts did little to prepare them for living in the real world. However they did have a strength that Martha lacked. Her parents always had a strong sense of self. They didn't take on expectations from society and therefore didn't judge themselves by values common in society. Martha was a little more vulnerable. In some ways she did have an independent sense of self because of her family; but it was incomplete. It was stronger in her parents precisely because their identity was consciously in opposition to society. Martha couldn't afford to adopt that attitude. But her openness was to some extent a weakness. When eventually she did begin to work in the corporate world, she was a little vulnerable to being overworked and exploited.

At the age of 32 Martha gave up. Over work and a gradual creeping loneliness and even some sense of dread forced her to consider that she had to drastically change course. There was nowhere to go except home. Somehow her parents were stronger than she was and she would have to go home and abandon whatever hopes that had been motivating her for years. Somehow friendships and relationships always broke up. She could more resist being exploited by other people than by organizations. And it always got to the point that eventually it seemed she was being oppressed by the person she had thought loved her. She began to suspect that they loved her for what she could give them. For some reason she didn't think that there was something wrong with her for this recurring realization about people she had been close to. There was something wrong but perhaps there was something wrong about people in general. By the time she had given up about life in society she concluded that in general her parents were right to reject full participation in society. They were right to try and maintain as much as possible an alternative community separate from society. If their community had its limitations, perhaps those limitations were more from still having to compromise with unavoidable participation in society. Martha sold, gave to thrift stores or threw out most of what she had accumulated in her apartment. She packed up her Mini Cooper with what she needed to keep for herself and drove to the Berkshires on a fine August day.

David and Helen were glad to get their baby back. They loved her just a bit too much which in hindsight might have been experienced by her as oppressive, as partly limiting her development inspired by her own inner voice. Their two older children stayed in the community and hadn't needed to escape in order to find themselves. Because their sense of self developed seamlessly within their web of relationships with their parents and their teachers and friends at school and then work and marriage and their own children and extended family. For them there was less of a clear demarcation between the rural bohemians and the rest of the community. There was a more obvious difference between the year round residents and the summer people.

Martha began to softly cry at the welcome she received from her family. And she spent the next couple weeks much of the time in tears. Because she felt safe and loved, her past became more vivid as a hell she had escaped from, as an extended emotional trauma that she didn't at the time realize how distressful it was. But now it was clear that her life had been horrible for over a decade. Martha was also confused about how she had put up with it, how at the time she felt that she had no choice. She was even confused that her escape was at the time thought of by her as a failure, as a failure to make it in the real world. But now it was evident that her family lived in a much more human world, and that the world that she had been living in was not really human, in hindsight something very strange and frightening.

About a year and a half before she moved back home, she had been spending a few minutes aimlessly scrolling on Facebook when she came across a sponsored post that was strange, but she just dismissed it as unimportant. It was a photo of an abstract painting bright and colorful and above it just a few words: "Discover Our Divine Mother of All Life and Love". The post was sponsored by the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Although at the time she immediately forgot about it, for some reason she was remembering it recently and at some point curiosity motivated her to look it up on her phone, a phone she barely used anymore and felt uncomfortable when she had to.

After 6 months of living in her parents home, Martha felt that she had readjusted to her childhood surroundings that were new to her adult self. Although a welcome refuge from her former life in urban eastern Massachusetts, it was a little strange to her. She was, in spite of her childhood, an outsider and did not have the strong relationships within the community that her brother and sister had. She did not feel close to them and felt a little like she was an interruption of the normal flow of their lives when she visited them. She was grateful to her parents but could only be a friendly observer when they had guests over. She became a little reclusive and explained that she was spending much time writing in her room; which was only partly true. She was writing much in her journal trying to understand both herself and the world. But she was also spending time reading, and that included intermittent reading of the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

The Book was a bit of a mess, crudely self published. Although available free online, she bought the large hardcover book for 50 dollars. It became the most important book she owned. But it took her a long time to read it. Fortunately it didn't need to be read as a whole. It was a collection of stories and an accumulated blog.

After a year of living in her parents home Martha moved into a small apartment over the post office in the center of town. She was beginning to suspect that she had worn out her welcome. She was beginning to become a bit eccentric and she couldn't much hide that she worshipped Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and make little exclamations of gratitude to Mother Mariatheos. Perhaps her own mother was a bit jealous of Martha's love of an invisible mother who evidently was superior to the mother who suffered to bring Martha into the world and who cared and took care of her for so many years. Helen never said anything but her face would express how she felt. And Martha was observant and empathic enough to understand. Her parents had been together for 4 decades, they were mostly enough for each other and their friends and family outside of the home were very much in their lives. They really didn't need Martha to be living with them. So one day Martha hugged her parents intently and crying thanked them for everything they had given to her. She kissed her mother on her cheek, said I love you and then goodbye.

Because Martha had accumulated a large amount of savings she didn't have to worry about getting a job. She loved her freedom and independence from the tyranny of the workplace. She didn't need to scoop ice cream or take any of the other service jobs available in town. The future was not known and she accepted that.

Martha was a regular at a cafe in town. During the off season when it was not busy the owner became a regular visitor at her table. Elizabeth was about ten years older than Martha. Elizabeth had two children and an unstable marriage in her early 20's. So after her children became adults and could support their selves, she quit her stable job in Boston and moved to where she had fond memories of childhood summers.

The cafe was busy and crowded during the summer. When an adjoining retail space became available Elizabeth wondered whether it would be wise to expand. Although probably she could get a business loan for the expansion, carrying a loan on the books can be a heavy weight to bear especially if everything doesn't work out perfectly. After a week of bringing the question up for prayer, Martha was convinced that she should make an offer to Elizabeth. Martha could give Elizabeth the funds necessary for an expansion plus a cushion for operating expenses in exchange for a quarter ownership of the business. Elizabeth was surprised; after a moments hesitation she agreed.

Martha ended up working at a service job after all. But she sort of enjoyed it. The cafe was a small community unto itself and she developed a sense of comraderie with all who worked there. She got to interact with many people in town and couldn't help but become more known to people in the community including many of the second home residents. Her smile was a bit unusual. As if she was in a frequent state of amusement about people in the world. As if she didn't quite belong in the world. As if she was from beyond the world.

For whatever unknowable reasons, Martha had an unusual potential capacity for Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Two and a half years from when she first started reading the book she was so filled with spiritual awareness from Mariatheos that she could not help but to be a softly radiant expression of love and life from Mother Mariatheos. But people in the world did not necessarily notice or care. She was just one more person in the world and people are mostly focused on their own concerns. However there were a few regular customers to the cafe who were a little captivated by her. Everyone who worked with her in the cafe definitely noticed something different about her, and were often grateful for her kindness. However everyone has their own concerns and even the presence of an unusual person in their lives is not going to make much of a difference.

Elizabeth and Martha were best friends as well as partners in the cafe. Martha learned all about the business and could manage it by herself if Elizabeth needed to take a day or two off. Martha had a recognizable role in the community and it was easier for her family to find a comfortable relationship with her. She visited her parents and her sister and brothers homes just enough to maintain a sense of kinship. However Martha was obviously a unique individual and everyone felt some emotional distance from her. Although Elizabeth felt close to her, Martha was still a bit of a mystery to Elizabeth. Martha neither proselytized nor concealed her devotion to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. But it was obvious to Elizabeth that devotion to Mariatheos was most important to Martha. And although not understood, it was almost obvious that devotion to Mariatheos enabled Martha to be a kind and quietly joyful woman, but also a little strange. Perhaps to be fully immersed in the world was normal and to be always partly aware of the spiritual realm was not normal. So it wasn't really possible for Elizabeth to just choose to adopt the spiritual path Martha was on. Elizabeth knew the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos was available free online; but she had no interest in reading any of it.

Martha knew that eventually somehow she would have to facilitate the discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos by others in the community. She knew that almost everyone would not be open to awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. So it seemed an impossible development. So she just waited until it became clear how Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos was to become known by others.

Martha's older sister Linda was starting to suffer so much in her marriage that she was desperate enough to seek Martha out at the cafe in autumn when it was not too busy. She asked her sister to sit down over coffee for a few minutes with her. When they sat down Linda was looking at her mug of coffee obviously in distress. Martha prayed for a moment before she asked, "Linda my love what is troubling you so horribly?" Linda tried to keep from crying, "Oh Martha I am so afraid it's never going to get better. Joe can barely talk to me anymore and the kids don't want to talk to either of us. They have made clear that they are highly anticipating going away to college and leaving this boring town. Thank god their ambition keeps them from doing anything stupid and they are good students. So at least I don't have to worry about them; not yet anyway. But it seems my family is coming apart. It seems my whole life is disintegrating." Linda just stared at her coffee looking a bit angry. Martha waited a couple minutes before she spoke, "Linda, it is going to be ok. However it is going to be difficult for a while until you can accept that your job is mostly over. You have served your family as best you could for many years. But now they are all telling you that they don't need you that much anymore. I know that this sounds a little cold but you don't need their gratitude for you to know how much you have served them. Think of all the workers who's jobs most people don't think about but we all rely on. In this world unfortunately people have to be mostly self referential. All relationships are highly transactional. This is obvious in the workplace, but it is obscure in the family and informal participation. To be blunt any expression of love should be heavily discounted as to its value." Martha paused before she went on, "Try not to worry about the future. Just live one day at a time and see what happens. Maybe your focus will start to turn elsewhere."

Linda was smiling at Martha. Before she got up to leave the cafe, softly laughing she told her sister, "Martha, you are totally awesome!"

Slowly Linda's life began to change. She began to have the attitude that if relationships were transactional, she was going to be much more realistic about her expectations of others. If Joe was cold towards her, that was his right. She could make no claim on his affections just because they were in love with each other in the past. Ironically after her acceptance of him as he was he didn't have to be afraid of her resentment. He became friendlier and normal household cooperation did not carry the burden of tension as it did before. It was crucial that she stopped trying to seduce him into intimacy that had left her close to despair because it was awkward and false. They were becoming housemates and it was ok. Evidently her teenage sons were more deeply affected by the marital tension than they let on and she being self occupied was blind to. So after the conflict decreased between their parents the boys suffered less and were more agreeable. Evidently escaping from the boring town was code for escaping from the household.

Linda was deeply grateful that her life changed and got better. It was difficult in the beginning to accept the loss of what she assumed was necessary for her happiness; but it was a devastatingly false assumption. Formerly in talking with her friends about her troubles, everyone gave her sympathy but everyone shared in such similar false assumptions. A few of them suggested divorce but Linda knew she couldn't handle that and it would just continue her suffering. Only Martha gave her the insights she needed. Perhaps it was only then that she was prepared to hear them after suffering enough hopelessness. One afternoon in April she went into the cafe and asked Martha to sit down and talk over coffee. Linda was fully smiling and spoke, "Martha, your insights into life were extremely valuable for me to hear. Amazingly I was able to turn my life around. Thank you so much! You have my deepest gratitude." Martha was smiling also, "Linda that is so wonderful!" Linda continued, "Martha, I had talked about my problems with others before I talked with you. Forgive me, but what makes you different? What gives you insight that others don't have?"

Martha replied, "Thank you Linda. I am not that different than the many people who have been broken by life in the world and then were brought into spiritual life given to them from spiritual reality. Everyone is different and knows the source of spiritual life differently and understands spiritual life differently. Usually this gives people some insight into the folly of life in the world and how false awareness about life ensures some degree of suffering in the world." Martha went on, "I don't think that there is any shortage of wisdom available in the world, although there is much diversity in its communication. Rather there are severe limitations on people's capacity to accept wisdom. Such limitations just seem to persist in humanity. It seems to be intrinsic to being human. But you were open to the insights necessary for you to shift your awareness about your life and thus you were open to less conflict with reality."

After drinking a little more coffee Linda enquired, "But I was not aware of anything spiritual in what you said to me or in how my awareness shifted. What does spirituality have to do with it?"

Martha smiling replied, "It is a foundational aspect of spirituality to learn to accept reality, especially to accept people the way they are. To decrease our natural human tendency to hope that other people will conform to our wishes even if we are smart enough not to try and control them. Some psychological wisdom is an aspect of spiritual wisdom."

Linda replied, "Well I guess I am ignorant about spirituality. It seems like a vague term and thus a little meaningless to me. Perhaps I associate spirituality with religion and that is impossible for me to accept." Martha responded, "Yes it is a very vague word and what is worse there are thousands of different ways to understand what is spiritual and sometimes they can conflict with each other. So it's not really possible to try and understand. What happens is that for some mysterious reason someone is drawn to explore a spiritual teaching and adopt some of those understandings in living one's life. Of course people might explore several different kinds of spiritual understanding. But I believe the whole spiritual development of a person is guided from the spiritual realm. In other words you don't have to explore anything until you feel motivated to do so."

Linda asked, "I assume that you felt motivated to do so. How did that happen?" Martha paused before answering, "Really only after I came back home. For some inexplicable reason I remembered an advertisement on Facebook that I saw a long time before but at the time dismissed it as nothing. I kept remembering it for a couple weeks before I looked it up online. The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos was available to read for free on its website. I spent a few weeks reading a little at a time. After I became convinced that this was my spiritual path I ordered a hardcover copy of the book. I don't really like using the internet and avoid it if possible."

Linda, "But why this and not something else? Did you do any exploration of different approaches to spiritually? And why then?"

Martha, "No. Before I moved back home I was fully immersed in the world. I had no interest in spiritual matters and silently ridiculed those who did. It was because I had to give up on my ability to persist participating in society as I had been that I left eastern Massachusetts and came back here. And it was only when I was living at mom's house that I was open to completely different awareness than what I had before. And it was only a short time after this huge change in my life that I discovered Mother Mariatheos. So no I wasn't exploring any other spiritual teaching. Thus it is very clear to me that Mariatheos chose me. Her Holy Spirit has been revealing to me knowledge and awareness from Divine Mother Mariatheos. But that has involved much revelation of knowledge and awareness of how my common self awareness and awareness of the world has been false."

Linda was a little overwhelmed after learning of how extensive her sister's awareness was and of how different it was from her own. Linda couldn't help but have a little skepticism but also a little fascination with Martha's description of her spiritual awareness. But feeling a little weary she spoke, "Martha dear I am afraid that this is all too much for me right now. I enjoyed hearing about your life but I better be going. Thank you again for your contribution to my life." She was smiling as she got up. Martha got up also and hugged Linda before Linda left the cafe.

Martha was grateful to Linda that she was able to share with her so much about her personal awareness. She felt a little bad that perhaps she said too much; but the conversation developed as if outside of her control. She dared not hope that Linda would develop capacity for awareness from Divine Mother Mariatheos. However if that ever happened it would only be because Mariatheos had chosen Linda to experience the glory of Mariatheos. Martha could not know.

After revealing so much about her devotion to Mariatheos in her conversation with Linda, something freed up in Martha and she was more casually open about her faith. What that opened up was the possibility of ridicule from others even if mostly hidden. So Martha had to have enough faith that she was not concerned about the probability that some people would think her a fool. However because Martha had a benevolent spirit about her several people not only did not judge her, but were convinced that she was a highly spiritual woman unusually blessed. The people who respected her spiritual emanation were themselves focused on their spiritual awareness development but were open to diverse expressions of spirituality. In other words they were to some extent on spiritual search. So because of Martha a few people in town searched online for anything about Mariatheos and so discovered the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Usually people read only a little of the book at a time over a long period of time. At first personal awareness of Mariatheos was only a possibility; after a while it became tentative; and only after many months or even years did spiritual awareness from Divine Mother Mariatheos become a certainty. Five years after Martha moved back to the Berkshires there was a small community of people who worshipped Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. At times Martha was sitting in the cafe at one of the larger tables having fellowship with several people who also shared in her faith. The joy they experienced with each other was evident to others. But a few people in town judged them as some sort of new group of self deluded fools. Once in a while a Christian would stand by their table and lecture them about false religion and that Jesus Christ was the only way to salvation. No one argued with them and after a while they left them alone. However eventually the group agreed that the cafe was not the best place for spiritual fellowship. They were inspired in prayer to form a church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Berkshire county.

There was no shortage of abandoned church buildings in the larger area. The group enjoyed looking at the different churches with a real estate agent. When they visited one building several of them including Martha were certain that was the one. It took about a year of renovation work before they could hold their first worship celebration. A group of 8 musicians; three guitarists, one mandolin player and one fiddler, and three vocalists performed for most of the two hour service interrupted only a few times for group prayers and a short talk by Martha. For half of the songs the congregation were also singing. Perhaps mostly because of the music but also perhaps because people need community, the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in Berkshire county grew over a few years to several hundred.

30 Wellfleet

Jacob Carlson inherited a modest cabin on a spectacular piece of land overlooking Drummer cove in Wellfleet on cape cod. He was divorced and his two children thank God were doing well; much better than what he had accomplished in the world. They were upper middle class and he remained in the middle class. However arguably growing up with both the advantages and limitations of a stable middle class family benefited the children as they grew up. They could not overly indulge their whims and there was the clear goal of upward mobility that motivated acceptance of self discipline. Ironically without the experience of living in an upper middle class family they could not become disillusioned with it. To some degree that was the fate of some of their children. Fortunately none of Jacob's grandchildren would descend into the hell of a dysfunctional life, just a bohemian lower middle class lifestyle. But when Jacob inherited the cabin his grandchildren were either not yet adults or were just entering that phase of life.

Jacob's parents built the cabin after Jacob's Mother inherited the land that only had a small shack on it. But after the cabin was built almost immediately they rented it out each summer as Wellfleet became a place for those who wanted and could afford to spend the summer on the outer cape. The cabin became a very welcome source of additional income for his family and for his parents when they were older. So Jacob had seldom visited before he gained possession of it. Unfortunately he could not enjoy his life that much after he inherited it. Because his mother's passing into the beyond was why he inherited it, he was in no place to enjoy being there. His sister and brother did not share in the inheritance of the cabin. Their inheritance was the two family house in Gloucester that his mother and sister lived in. Although it was doubtful his brother would move into the half of the house his mother had lived in and probably he would rent it out. The three of them shared a modest amount of money. Their parents went to Europe as often as they could afford to when they were older and their mother continued to do so for a few years after their father died.

Although Jacob had little motivation to visit the cabin, he did not want to foreclose the possibility of doing so. He decided use an agency that would rent it out for 2 week periods 4 times during the summer, giving him plenty of opportunity to visit when he wanted to. However it was his grandchildren who ended up most using it. Only when they were over 18 did he allow them to do so unsupervised. Over the years more of them used it for longer periods of time. Thank god they were just responsible enough not to get in trouble. Their music was not too loud and their friends never got so drunk that they caused any damage. The uncertainty of letting them use it generated enough anxiety that he began to pray the rosary each day that he knew that they were there. He petitioned Mother Mary to watch over them, keep them safe, and keep the cabin undamaged.

Sometimes Jacob did visit the cabin. But each time he brought another icon of Mother Maria the Theotokos or Panagia. Such icons were from the Eastern Orthodox tradition and in his mind he started to pray to Holy Maria Mother of God when he prayed the rosary. Over several years there were dozens of icons securely attached to the walls of his cabin. He informed the rental agency that the icons could not be removed and to only rent it to people who had no problem with that. His grandchildren were at first amused at the icons; but they deeply appreciated the generosity of their grandfather and could not question his eccentricity.

One lovely evening in June, five young people were sitting in the living room of a cabin in Wellfleet. The oldest was 23 and worked through a temp agency in Boston. She did clerical work and although a conscientious worker didn't much like working and enjoyed as much time off as she could. And the most enjoyable place to be when not working was at her grandfather's cabin. Theresa was informally and almost unconsciously regarded as having some responsibility and leadership for whomever was also staying at the cabin. Her sister, brother and cousins were all slightly nervous about their being there on their own. The cohesion and satisfaction of a group usually depends on someone having responsibility for the group. So Theresa gravitated into that role.

After enjoying two gourmet pizzas brought home from town, the five were drinking bottles of stout and smoking a lot of fine bud. Theresa had selected nothing but albums by Loreena McKennitt to be playing slightly subdued. Conversation had subsided and one by one everyone was looking at an Icon of Blessed Mother Maria. Suddenly everyone looked in the same direction at the vision of Maria glowing in multicolored swirls of shimmering light. The profusion of light was indistinguishable from Maria's face and clothes and flowing robes and fluttering scarves.

Maria spoke:

My lovely children, you are so very much loved.

Unfortunately you have not known my Great Love because your world does not love me.

The world is lost in a fog of false awareness and false understanding.

However the joyful reality is that gradually but inexorably My Holy Spirit is pulling the world closer to My Great Love. Many people know some of My Love and are not completely lost. My children I have chosen to appear to you because in your innocence you can behold your Original Mother. Also this cabin has been dedicated to Me and so by fate you have been placed in my loving care. However you can not remain ignorant forever. You would probably join the world and become lost if you did not behold Me in My Glory! So I have chosen you to pursue awareness from My Holy Spirit. You must accept some responsibility for your pilgrimage; yet mostly you will be ignorant as you are guided every moment by My Angels. Value this moment because I will probably not appear to you again. You have been briefly lifted up to Great Glory but you will return to the deep valley and must walk a very great distance to the mountain peak. You are very blessed to be on this journey. Your Divine Mother's Love is always within you!

Loreena McKennitt's voice was a comfort to everyone in shocked silence. However the mystery of her music could also reveal the great spiritual ignorance of those listening. After the apparition of their Divine Mother Maria, everyone was very aware of their previous ignorance of Her spiritual reality. Yet overwhelmingly they were aware of how ignorant they still were; unavoidably they began to feel fear knowing how far they had been and still were from being in their Mother's Love. Being immersed in Her Love for some moments, after a short while they knew that they were going to have to embark on a very long pilgrimage to Her Love being experienced more than for some exalted moments. She had told them what to expect. Fearful and in sorrow one by one they began to cry.

Theresa felt the need to somehow comfort the group and to stem what seemed might develop and that was panic. So a little bit in desperation she plaintively spontaneously prayed out loud: "Oh Our Mother Maria, we are so amazed that You have appeared to us this blessed evening. But now we realize how lost we are and do not know how to proceed. Please send Your Holy Spirit and Angels to guide us each moment of each day from now on. Help us to be open to spiritual guidance continually. Show us how to walk the path towards Your Holy Heaven where we want to live forever. We share the confusion and ignorance of the world, we yearn to always be in your presence yet we accept that we can not and must journey towards You. Show us how to persist in the journey towards Your Holy Love."

Everyone stopped crying and listened intently to Theresa. Several were softly saying amen at times during her prayer. Encouraged, a few moments after Theresa stopped speaking, her brother Joshua started to speak:

"Oh Mother Maria, we are so blessed that you have chosen us to behold your Glory. Now we also realize it is a great responsibility. Help us in our daily walk on the path to return to your Glory."

Then their sister Meagan began to gently pray:

"Oh Beautiful Maria flowing forth Your Great Love! May we from time to time receive Your Love again. Oh now again I feel your Love! Oh how I love You! Please bless us all and lead us every moment. Is it possible to share Your Love with others? Can we five who have beheld You open the eyes of others to Who You are? Divine Maria Mother of All Love!"

All were softly mumbling Amen over and over and then Christina one of the cousins spontaneously started saying "Ave Maria" over and over as everyone joined in. After some minutes a wave of tiredness descended. They sat in personal prayer and thought for a while before each went to sleep.

The next morning everyone was in a subdued state of mild joy. Having shared such a profound experience together they could not help but have a heightened appreciation for each other. Their prayers of the evening before gave them some assurance that they could face the unknown future with a degree of faith.

They lingered over pancakes and coffee; they smiled at each other but did not talk much. Finally Isaiah who was Christina's brother blurted out:

"Ok, what are we going to do? We can't go on with our lives as we used to, being lost yet thinking we could do whatever we wanted to. Having this great experience of Our Divine Mother reveals how ignorant we all were, ignorant of everything. Our ignorance remains but we now know we know nothing. We have no one to teach us. Actually there are so many spiritual teachers that I don't know who to trust. I don't believe Our Divine Mother Maria is the same as who the church teaches she is. Anyway I don't trust the church to teach us. Our Mother did not mention the church and I don't have faith in the Catholic church for obvious reasons. I don't know anything about the Eastern Orthodox church. I am convinced She would have pointed to a church if that was the direction She wanted us to go in."

Theresa: "I agree. She came to us who are outside of any church. She must have a purpose for so doing. I for one can not submit to the patriarchal churches. My faith in Her does not conflict with that conviction. Perhaps we can pray now around this breakfast table and try and discern how Her angels want to lead us. Let me first say a short prayer and then we can sit in silent prayer. Oh Maria Our Mother please send Your Spirit to show us where we should look for wisdom. Please teach our hearts how to follow Your Holy Spirit." Except for a few mumbled Ave Maria's they were silent for a few minutes.

After they looked up and at each other softly smiling, Meagan was the first to speak: "We are a church, are we not? We are to bring forth a renewal of awareness of Our Blessed Mother without the constraints of the past including the huge institutions of the churches. Many young people are searching for what they do not yet know but they are searching outside of the established churches." After Meagan Christina spoke:

"Yes, we are the church of Our Divine Mother Maria! Did not Our Marvelous Divine Mother say that Her Divine Love would always be with us! And that Her Holy Spirit and Holy Angels would always be with us and guide us? So we do not need other people to teach us. We just need to be in prayer as much as possible and be open to wisdom from Her Holy Spirit. I know this is a bold statement but it is us who need to teach others about Our Divine Mother Maria and Her great Love! Perhaps this is why we were chosen to experience Her Glory!" Then Theresa spoke:

"Let us all pray to seek knowledge of the truth of what Meagan and Christina have been inspired to reveal." Everyone sat in silent prayer again. Then one by one they all said variations on: "Yes. It is the truth."

Jacob owned a small house on Mechanic street in downtown New Bedford. He had moved out of his home in Gloucester when he went away to college at the University of Massachusetts in Dartmouth. He loved the freedom of college life but unfortunately he overly indulged in freedom and neglected his course work. He had to drop out and moved to a cheap apartment in nearby New Bedford. He worked in the restaurant industry his whole life. Unfortunately working evenings puts a stress on family life. His wife stayed with him long enough to have two children. They had managed to buy a house near Buttonwood Park when housing in New Bedford was relatively affordable. He moved out to an apartment in town and was conscientious in paying child support. His wife was a wonderful mother and never neglected her children in the desire to pursue romantic love, which she was somewhat disillusioned with because she had loved Jacob intensely. But she loved her children more and knew it would be better for them if Jacob did not live there. He barely had lived there anyway because of his schedule. Jacob saw them often enough and had enough time Sunday afternoon to take them to the zoo or to the Whaling Museum or to a movie. He listened to them intently when he was with them to try and make up for how little he saw them each week. Mostly because of their mother the two children grew up to become high functioning adults. Their parents were obviously supportive but not controlling. They had the freedom and opportunity to succeed in America. They both married well and had families of their own in the Boston suburbs. And their children as young adults spent time at their grandfather's cabin in Wellfleet.

Jacob's father was not Catholic. But as a condition for marriage because Jacob's mother was Catholic and her whole family would have objected otherwise, Jacob and his sister and brother were raised Catholic. But it was apparent to Jacob as a boy that his father attended the Catholic church with them reluctantly, and often found some excuse not to go with them. Because Jacob was close to his father, he could not help but absorb some his father's usually unvoiced skepticism about religion. However his mother was devout. Jacob as an adult rarely went to church. But if in personal crisis he reverted to prayer. And recurringly over his life prayer was necessary.

Two days after the apparition of Our Divine Mother Maria, Jacob drove out to the cabin in Wellfleet and made a surprise visit to his grandchildren. The day before he had suffered from an unusually high level of anxiety. He spent an hour in front of an icon of Maria on a wall of his home praying the rosary. Gradually he received the conviction that he had to visit his grandchildren in Wellfleet. Once he decided that he would go the next day, he felt at peace. He silently thanked his Divine Mother Maria for Her grace. Obviously he didn't know what to expect but he wasn't worried; all he knew was that he had to go.

Jacob's grandchildren were surprised to see him. They greeted him with cheerful enthusiasm which both delighted and surprised him. They all went inside the cabin and drank coffee and ate the scones Jacob had brought with him. Soon Theresa spoke:

"Grandpa, we love you so much! You will not believe what happened two days ago. Admittedly we were all stoned but still what occurred was very real. In the evening Our Divine Mother Maria appeared to all of us! We all saw Her in Her magnificent Glory! She spoke to us and communicated Her Great Love for us. Since then we have often been in prayer and know that our lives have been changed forever. What we are to do is not clear but we have much faith that Holy Spirit and Angels from Our Mother are always guiding us. Thank you so much for dedicating this cabin to Her and having icons of Our Divine Mother Maria displayed throughout. I am sure Her love for you is abundant. This is the beginning of something important. We all sense that but do not know what will happen."

Jacob could do nothing but softly cry with joy while muttering Ave Maria several times.

Christina was overflowing with grace and spontaneously started to almost sing a prayer:

"Our Divine Mother Maria we love You so very much! You have our deepest gratitude for your great gift of Your Love for us. You are the Creator of All Life and All True Love! The world is lost and does not know You. Is this a time for Your Great Revelation? Oh help us help others to know Your Great Love! We love you and adore You, Our Divine Mother Maria! Thank You, Thank You, we adore Thee, oh Our Mother we adore You. Bless us and send your Blessed Angels and Holly Spirit to keep us and guide us. Holy, Holy, Holy You are!" then everyone joined singing, "Holy, Holy, Holy You are!" several times before bowing their heads in personal prayer only softly saying sometimes "Ave Maria".

Jacob stayed and listened to his grandchildren testify about their experiences of Our Divine Mother Maria. Yet he was reluctant to give any advice; he had the conviction that this precious group discovery of extraordinary spiritual experience must develop sheltered from others influence. Each of them had different plans for the rest of the summer and the cabin was booked for rental during July and August. They had each other in this idyllic setting for a couple weeks if they wanted to. Then they would go their separate ways. He had faith that Angels and Holy Spirit from their Divine Mother Maria would be continually guiding and protecting each of them. He drove home to New Bedford before he would be too tired to do so. Often he marveled that such a miracle had occurred for his grandchildren, and he was very pleased that he had been able to provide the place where the miracle occurred.

Theresa was the last to leave the cabin at the end of June. The others had to leave to go to their different jobs in the world, but they had all arranged to have some time in June to be at the cabin together. Two of them were still in college and would go back in September. The others had either graduated or dropped out. They had all been emotionally dependent on each other before. Their parents were so focused on their careers that any time off was focused on recuperation from the stress of the job. The cousins saw each other often as their parents visited each other at their large houses and enjoyed eating and drinking together. They all grew up sheltered and a little anxious about the world. They were not particularly adventurous and found Boston overwhelming. So they primarily stayed in their upper middle class neighborhoods and explored the world through media and books.

During their time together at the cabin they spent a lot of time in Prayer. Which often was the spontaneous inspired thoughts of one person spoken as the others listened. Thus each person revealed both their concerns and their faith in Our Divine Mother Maria. It was a way for Her Holy Spirit to answer their concerns within their minds and by their speaking the inspiration received also was a spiritual teaching to the others. There was also much conversation and tentative speculation about the future. But overwhelmingly they became certain that they must live their lives one day at a time and be guided each day. They realized the challenge would be to go back and live in and participate in the world and maintain their faith. They should neither condemn the world nor be seduced by the world. It was going to take inspired discernment to be aware of Our Devine Mother's Life within everyone and yet perceive the false awareness of others. Living in the world while knowing Our Divine Mother Maria is Universal Source of All Life and True Love might be a difficult continual spiritual education; but they had openness to continual inspiration and guidance from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Maria; and they had each other. Even if living apart from each other they would be in frequent communication. Obviously they were sad to depart the blessed cabin; but they had faith. They all knew that they were extraordinarily blessed by their Divine Mother Maria.

Christina was a junior and Meagan was a sophomore at UMass Dartmouth. None of the cousins had gone to private colleges or universities. Although their parents would pay most of the costs a more expensive school would increase their student debt burden. None of them had a clear idea of a career path and to be blunt they weren't as ambitious as their parents were. College life only confirmed their doubts about their capacity to become professionals of any kind. They would be lucky to graduate and graduate school was not possible. Meagan chose Dartmouth because Christina was there. They were as close as sisters and their experience at the cabin only solidified their bond. They met together frequently for prayer and their mutual support gave them courage to be open to their friends about their newly discovered faith. They avoided arguments with Christians and pleaded the first amendment as justification for their belief that Our Divine Mother Maria was God, Creator of All Life, Mother of Eternal Love. Often if together one of them would be especially inspired by Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Maria and proclaim her faith and deep gratitude for Mother Maria's Great Love for Her children even if in a public place like a dining hall or a lounge or the Student Union. By January Christina was able to obtain an empty classroom in the evening for a prayer group. By May over 40 people were attending. Some of them were singer songwriters and composed music and song expressing their love and devotion to Our Divine Mother Maria. The end of the semester would have dispersed everyone except most of them choose to stay on campus and enroll in the summer semester. During the summer they held frequent small festivals outdoors in celebration of Our Divine Mother Maria. In August they all contributed enough money together for a committee to be able to rent the Zeiterion theater in New Bedford for a Sunday afternoon in early November. They were ready to take their festival celebration of Our Divine Mother Maria to the world.

Early Sunday morning the day of the festival Joshua drove from Greenfield to his sister's apartment in Salem. Isaiah had taken the train from Gloucester to Salem. After a brief breakfast of bagels and coffee, Joshua drove them to New Bedford. After parking the car downtown they walked over to Mechanic street to visit their grandfather and had lunch together at his home. They were all happy to be together on this special day. They all walked over to Purchase Street to attend the Festival Celebration of Our Divine Mother Maria being held in the Zeiterion Theater at 2:00 pm. They had all contributed funds to the committee organizing the Festival. But the college students did all the work. Some money was spent on publicity but mostly it was individuals through social media who got the word out. Although the beliefs of the students who organized the festival were heretical to the Christian church, many people with devotion to Mary or Maria who were Catholic or Eastern Orthodox came to the festival. Perhaps they didn't know or perhaps they didn't care. But almost all of the prayers spoken or the songs sung from the stage did not obviously conflict with the beliefs of the audience. They were just happy to hear adoration of Our Divine Mother Maria. Some parts of the songs were sung multiple times and some songs were sung multiple times. Some people in the audience sang along after a while. About a few hundred people showed up. It was free and the food offered was inexpensive. At 5:00 pm the last song was sung. A short prayer was said asking for Our Divine Mother Maria's blessing for everyone who was there and the festival was over.

Christina and Meagan stayed with their group until they left the theater. The festival had used the sound equipment operated by the Zeiterion staff so although they helped clean up there was not much work before the group left. Four musicians played their acoustic guitars and had no electronic equipment to carry out. Although Christina and Meagan wanted to be with the group afterwards they had agreed to meet their family at a nearby cafe. So they hugged everyone and said goodbye. The Festival was an unquestioned success and everyone was joyful.

At the cafe Christina and Meagan joined Theresa, Joshua, Isaiah and their grandfather. Also there was their grandmother who at the last minute decided to attend the festival. Although Jacob and Hanna had been somewhat estranged for decades, she still lived in the house near Buttonwood Park in New Bedford. Strangely she was closer to her children than her grandchildren while Jacob had become closer to his grandchildren than his children. The awkwardness of being a mostly absent father was never closed. His children's sympathies were naturally with their devoted mother. His financial contributions to the family didn't necessarily warrant conscious appreciation. After all that was just his obligation. In any case as they became adults they didn't need him and he suffered a little unconscious humiliation in the comparison of his accomplishments with theirs. It was really only their recent shared spiritual awareness that brought Jacob and his grandchildren into fellowship.

Hanna was a generic protestant as her parents didn't take church seriously and sporadically attended different churches as she grew up. As a mother she seldom took her children to church and Sunday became the day they saw their father. Jacob wasn't sure if he was Catholic and seldom attended church. His prayer life was entirely personal and eccentric. He only prayed to Mother Mary or Maria and had no conscious theology. It was fellowship with his grandchildren that brought more into focus that Our Divine Mother Maria was the center of his spiritual awareness. Hannah only attended the festival at the Zeiterion out of curiosity about her grandchildren and the strange religious delusion they had become obsessed with. What role Jacob had in fostering their beliefs was unknown. However the festival was being held in town and it was the only way she could learn anything without some awkward conversation with one of them. She hadn't expected to grow in appreciation for the festival. She could sense the emotional reality of the celebration even if she couldn't believe in the reality of what they celebrated. But for lack of a better way of thinking about it; she accepted the anthropological reality of their spiritual culture. So she searched for her grandchildren and Jacob in the audience. They were all pleased to see her and she accompanied them to the cafe.

At the cafe Theresa told her grandmother the story of the apparition of Our Divine Mother Maria at the cabin. Although disbelieving it was real Hanna was polite and perceived her grandchildren's sincerity as the others added their memories of the experience. But what was more convincing was that their conviction persisted with time and they had developed as much religious faith as any other religious person of whatever religion. Although agnostic Hanna could not help but be familiar with the wide diversity of spirituality in America. Some of her friends valued their spirituality nurtured by a variety of alternative spiritual teachers. So Hanna could not be intolerant and had to respect the alternative religious awareness of her grandchildren.

Unfortunately the cousin's parents were more worried about their children's strange religiosity. They had been mostly dismissive of religion and any spirituality that believed in the non physical spiritual realm. They could accept any spirituality that did not make such a claim such as mindfulness. The alliance of many if not most Christians with the Republican party only fueled their suspicions that religion was dangerous superstition that blocked progress and encouraged bigotry and intolerance. They had already been worried that their children weren't capable of success in the world. Now they were more worried that they had found religion to compensate for their relative failure and lack of ambition. So their children learned not to talk about it with their parents. But it was one more factor that contributed to their sense of alienation from their parents.

As their grandmother, Hanna could not help but love her grandchildren. The contentment of having them in her life motivated her acceptance of their religious awareness without necessarily adopting it as her own. So she was more than just pleasant and her smiling attention on each of them communicated her love for them. This was an unexpected blessing for the cousins and awakened their appreciation of her love. Divine Mother Maria was blessing them with the human love of their grandparents and they were grateful.

Jacob and Hanna smiled at each other from time to time. An unspoken rapprochement developed and they knew that they had a shared purpose in nurturing their grandchildren. Jacob offered to take them all to dinner at No Problemo, a good Mexican restaurant nearby; and Hanna offered her house for them to sleep over for the night. The cousins readily agreed and Christina and Meagan wanted to be with the others as there was enough room at Hanna's house for all of them. That Sunday evening solidified the grandparents and the grandchildren as family.

Gallery X was on William Street in downtown New Bedford. It occupied an old wooden church building since 1990. However after three and a half decades a controversy developed among its membership of artists. Some of the most recently joined artists were more serious and ambitious than many of the members who were to be blunt amateurs who seemed to tolerate that the gallery had become in effect mostly something tourists wandered into and enjoyed but where very few paintings actually sold. The space was relatively small and the policy of the gallery was to try and include as many of its artists in its group shows as possible. The gallery survived because of donations from those in New Bedford who appreciated its contribution to the ambience of the downtown and by the fees of artists for membership and the fee an artist paid for the privilege of displaying a couple paintings at a group show. But some of the more recently joined members were unhappy with the status quo. The size of each painting shown at the group shows was limited so more could be included. The interior space still looked like a church and seemed a bit too old and not a great space for the display of art work especially larger work. So at monthly meetings some of these artists pushed hard for the gallery to move into a much larger space in one of the recently renovated old large brick buildings a couple miles south of downtown that in the past were used for manufacturing. Some art galleries had already opened in such buildings in the area and it had become a destination for serious art buyers and not as much for the tourists who visited downtown. It took a year for the membership gallery to agree on undertaking such a huge change. They started to investigate possible sources of funding for such a momentous project. Fortunately the owner of a very large renovated building wanted them as a tenant; it would help him rent other spaces in his building. So he approached people he knew who might want to donate to Gallery X for the purpose of the relocation of the gallery. Gallery X lost some members but the enthusiasm of those who were excited for such a change allowed for the annual membership fee to be doubled. After the gallery successfully relocated they put the old church building on the market.

When Jacob found out that Gallery X would be moving to a renovated old industrial building south of downtown, and that the gallery would be putting the old church building on the market, he knew that he had to buy it. He knew that he must obtain the building for a future church of Our Divine Mother Maria in New Bedford. Prayer only strongly confirmed his conviction. But he was immediately burdened with grief at the realization. Because the only way he could afford to do so would be to sell his cabin in Wellfleet. Although the cabin was modest the land it sat on was worth a small fortune. More than enough to purchase the old church building from Gallery X and pay for its renovation. When he told his grandchildren of his plan he was a little surprised to hear them so excited about a future church. Probably they would be heavily involved and perhaps play a leadership role. So he himself became more happy about the prospect and contacted a real estate agency in Orleans which was a major town on the outer cape to handle the sale.

Hanna had told her grandchildren that they were welcome to visit and sleep over anytime they wanted to. And they began to do so as New Bedford became a place the cousins could all gather together as UMass Dartmouth was nearby. Hesitating but almost pleading Christina

one day asked her Grandmother if she could move in when she graduated college. She would work and pay rent and be responsible for cooking and cleaning and such. Hanna smiled broadly and replied that Christina was very welcome to live there.

One day Jacob had asked Hanna if he could come over to her house at 3:00 pm; he would bring scones if she would make coffee. Although Hanna was surprised at his unusual request she agreed. Seated at her kitchen table Jacob began the conversation:

"Thank you so much for agreeing to talk. I have much to tell you but first I must acknowledge how unusual it is for me to be here after all these years." He felt some sadness and fell silent for a minute or two. Hanna let him be reflective before she gently said:

"My love, and I do mean that, I am sorry for how the past developed but I am happy with how the present has turned out. After decades of observation about the human condition I am certain that neither of us could have done anything differently. But let me now thank you for your past contribution to our family that I never acknowledged because of resentment for what seemed a necessary but painful separation. Two young people were presumed to be able to make everything work just because it was expected."

Jacob: "Thank you. That is kind of you to say." He looked at her with gratitude. "But I did come over here to talk about the future. I have heard that you have agreed to let Christina move in here when she graduates in a few months?" Hanna: "Yes, my heart melted the way she asked me, like a child. There is some quiet subdued suffering in her and perhaps in the others. Growing up seems to be especially difficult for the younger generation. Our children were full of confidence and determination when they were young adults. So much has changed that I don't know what is responsible."

Jacob: "Yes, to be blunt the nation is in a funk. No one agrees on anything. Everything persists but for some more than others there is a pervasive fear that everything might get worse. Young people can not help but absorb the zeitgeist and be burdened with it. But there are multiple sources of faith and many of them are religious or spiritual. I know that you have your doubts but are kind enough to be supportive of your grandchildren's discovery of faith that I also share. So now I have to tell you something important if you don't know already. I am going to buy the building that Gallery X is going to move out of, for the purpose of starting there a Church of Our Divine Mother Maria. The grandchildren are very enthusiastic about this and I am almost certain that they will be heavily involved in the development of the new church. So this is why I am here, I have a strong premonition that they are all going to be living in New Bedford. I am willing to take Joshua and Isaiah, are you also willing to take in Theresa and Meagan in addition to Christina? Yes, they could all share apartments but I feel that it would be best to increase the density of family so to speak. I have not mentioned this to them. I wanted to talk to you and probably it might just naturally develop as they want to visit more often. I know this is a lot to consider but how do you feel about this?"

Hanna sat in shock for a few minutes as her mind and emotions rushed through her. Her expression fluctuated between worry and a gentle joy. Finally smiling steadily she replied: "Jacob, I think it will be wonderful!"

About 1:00pm Sunday a few weeks after Jacob's visit Hanna's phone rang:

"Hello?"

" Hi Mom, sorry if I disturbed you. "

" Peter! Good to hear your voice. Don't worry, not doing anything in particular. But you sound a little distraught, anything wrong? "

"Mom, is it true that dad is selling the cabin in Wellfleet?"

"Yes it is true, but why are you upset?"

" He can't do it! That cabin belongs to me and my sister when he passes. It is not fair at all! The cabin has been in the family for generations. It must remain in the family!"

Hanna paused to consider how to reply:

" Dear, I can see how you feel but it is his possession and if he wants to sell it it is his right."

"No! He owes it to me. It is the only thing that he can give me to make up for how little he has done for me."

Hanna was afraid of the depth of her son's wound. But she needed to ask:

"My son, what do you mean? What is it that you wished had happened?" She dreaded to hear his response.

"Mom, you know he was a failure as a father; you have said so yourself in the past. He wasn't there." There was a pause and then he blurted out: "He did not teach me to be a man and I can not forgive him for that. Sorry but it is true."

Hanna was shocked, she wasn't going to ask him what it meant for him 'to be a man' nor was she going to argue with him about it. Even if it was an ideal or a romantic yearning, it was too personal and it was obviously an emotional burden he had been carrying his whole life. Hopefully that was the key belief about his life that he had needed to tell her, and perhaps she could try and clean up a bit of the mess her failed marriage had left behind. At least she could try.

"I am sorry my son. Perhaps I should have tried harder to keep the family together. But I did what seemed necessary in the moment. Peter, there are large societal and historical forces that affect us all. Everyone is reacting somewhat differently to the circumstances that they have lived in. Jacob and I were mostly on our own to figure out how to do everything. Jacob found his niche in the restaurant industry and that conflicted with the expectations of what a family man does. So he didn't do it. Probably he couldn't have earned as much money if he tried to do something that would allow him to be a family man. He didn't have your education, knowledge, skills, or perhaps even intelligence. But recently I sort of apologized to him for not acknowledging his contribution to the family. I could not have done it without him. He gave a good amount of child support all those years. And got very little in return. Some men run off out west to escape their responsibilities, nursing their resentment towards their ex-wife and grieving the loss of their children. It really is awkward to be a Sunday father. It is artificial and doesn't allow a father's real participation in their children's lives. The single mother nurtures a lot of resentment towards her ex for his failure. And I am sorry to say she can not help but communicate that to her children. So you are very blessed for you and Becky to have stayed together." Hanna's voice was starting to betray her grief. Peter felt a bit guilty so he said:

"Mom, I am so sorry to have burdened you with this. Don't worry I won't maintain my resentments unbridled. Thank you for your understanding and your compassion not just for me but for everyone. You have great wisdom. Thank you."

Hanna breathed a sigh of relief; although not a believer she replied:

"God bless you Peter. Thank you for your understanding. As you know Jacob and I have had a rapprochement. We are looking forward to the future and have forgiven the past."

Although even more not a believer than his mother, Peter sort of chuckled as he said:

"God bless you Mom! Thank you for everything! Love you."

"Love you too my son! Good bye."

The first day the cabin went on the market Peter made an offer 200,000 over asking price. Jacob didn't know who the buyer was but in prayer he was encouraged to accept the offer. Jacob didn't need to be at closing. At the end of May the real estate agency informed him over a million dollars had been transferred into his bank account. He thanked the agent and contacted his buyer's agent in New Bedford to proceed in making an offer to Gallery X which had yet to fully move out. Because a buyer had to agree to maintain the historic building there was not much of an anticipated market for the building. So gallery X was happy to accept Jacob's offer of 20,000 over asking price. The major cost would be renovations and repairs and upgrading the electrical and mechanical systems. The total cost was projected to be over half of what he received from the sale of the cabin. Although Jacob had planned to move everything out of the cabin after his acceptance of an offer but before closing, interestingly the buyer wanted to keep everything the way it was even including the icons on the walls. The buyer told his agent that they found the cabin unusual and charming and that was a factor motivating the buyer. Again in prayer Jacob was encouraged to accept the request. The icons would bless the future occupants.

After Jacob took possession of the old church building he delayed signing a contract with an architect or general contractor. It wasn't just that he didn't feel he could manage the process and make the countless decisions that would be necessary; he didn't feel that he should be the one responsible. The church building belonged to the future church, not him. So it was necessary for the leadership of the church to form before anything else.

One Sunday in the middle of August Jacob was visiting Hanna. Sitting with them at the kitchen table were Christina and Theresa. Jacob spoke: "Thank you Theresa for visiting New Bedford. I asked you to do so because there is a lot to talk about. As you know since two weeks ago I now own the building that Gallery X used to occupy. But now I am very anxious about how to proceed. I believe the future church needs to now have some sort of organization and most importantly leadership that can be responsible for all future decisions about the church. Especially the renovation of the church building. I have gotten some estimates but have made no commitment to anyone. I am not the one to be making decisions. But I believe Theresa that you are the leader of the future church. At least for me this has been repeatedly confirmed in prayer. So any organization usually has a board of directors and a president or director. So I propose that everyone at this table would be the board of directors and that Theresa would be director and Christina assistant director. Theresa, I will give you a monthly income if you move to New Bedford and take responsibility for the church. Hanna has already agreed that you can live here. Sorry if all of this is presumptuous but I do feel a sense of urgency for the church to begin to take shape. And its leadership must be clear."

Everyone was a little stunned. They knew the church building was being bought by Jacob but no one had thought much about what needed to happen. The slightly unconscious assumption was that it was Jacob's project. Finally Hanna said: "Why me? I am not even a believer!" Jacob replied: "Because you love and support the believers! But also as an advisor you probably have a perspective that could prevent us who at times might have more enthusiasm than wisdom from making a mistake. Theresa what say you?"

Theresa was subdued but much was being contemplated. Everyone waited as she deliberated. Then she closed her eyes in prayer. Finally after a few minutes she looked at her grandfather and spoke: "Yes. What you have proposed is best for the development of the church. Christina do agree to help me?" Christina was smiling, "Yes my dear cousin. As Meagan said two years ago at the cabin: we are a church. All of the people I know from Dartmouth who love Our Divine Mother yearn for a church. And we shall give them a church! Grandma you are our source of sustenance; your love is only surpassed by Our Divine Mother Maria. I am convinced you are one of Her saints even if you do not know. Will you help us?"

Hanna was quiet and close to crying. Her love was great for her family. If her family considered that they were a church then she was part of it. "Yes Christina, yes Theresa, yes Jacob." Everyone was bathed in grace and quiet joy.

A few times that summer Peter and Becky managed to take some time off from work and drive out early Friday morning to their cabin in Wellfleet. For some reason Peter insisted on keeping his ownership of the cabin a secret from his children. They had become a bit distant from him and even to some degree from their mother. He was fiercely possessive of the cabin. He just didn't want to share it with anyone else except his wife. If truth be told he had been a little envious of his children's past use of the cabin and their relationship with his father that he did not have. Now he desperately needed to be there when possible. He was in love with it. The feeling of living there was like nothing he had ever experienced. The relative natural seclusion and the stunning view of Drummer cove gave a gentle exhilaration. Becky was also very pleased with being there. Peter was always sad to drive back to his suburban house Monday afternoon.

Because he had been a little envious of his children being at the cabin he sort of wanted to possess their experience of being there. He had been envious of their youthful companionship, even their opportunity to get stoned and do nothing but listen to music. When younger he had done little of that. He was a studious nerd and didn't hang out with the cool kids. He was ambitious and feared getting caught up in a youthful lifestyle that would derail a pathway to success. Ironically his children had taken that path for themselves. They had become the cool kids. So he kept the old furniture and decor of the cabin. Perhaps it was a way to feel a little closer to his children and his father without actually having to be with them. He knew Becky and himself couldn't recreate the bohemian vibe of the cabin so he was afraid to change anything, not even the numerous icons of the Divine Mother. Although not a believer in the spiritual realm; he could appreciate religious art as culture. He wasn't afraid to keep them.

Becky and Peter lived in a suburban town north of Boston. The house was obviously too big for them after their children had moved out and were seldom visiting them anymore. The youngest had started to live with her grandmother in New Bedford when school was on break instead of coming back home. Becky was starting to feel oppressed by empty nest syndrome and was open for a change. They moved into a smaller house in Kingston which was south of Boston at the end of a commuter rail line and importantly much closer to cape cod.

Peter and Becky were a little more aware of their dependency on each other. Their children were young adults and no longer dependent on them. So they both felt a little alone in the world. Their careers were stable but not necessarily advancing. Theresa and Joshua had accepted working at low prestige jobs and seemed to have rejected ambition which was implicitly rejecting becoming upper middle class which was an implied rejection of Becky and Peter. Plus their adoption of a strange religious spirituality was an implied rejection of their parents secular world view. Lack of common awareness is felt as alienation. Alienation allows judgement of those different and fosters suspicion that one is being judged by others who are different. Platitudes of acceptance of others is often pretense; it is easy as rhetoric but difficult in life. But alienation is most painful when it arises within family; yet it is often not able to be solved for.

Everything was conspiring to push Becky and Peter out of their past dense set of patterns of awareness. To be blunt they had become slightly but increasingly more unhappy as their children became independent. Formerly they could feel confirmation that they were successful in life. Great careers, a large house, beautiful children, high income and wealth. But as their children became adults it seemed that they had somewhat rejected their parents. Perhaps that was a normal aspect of growing up, but it was difficult to accept. To be simple their parents weren't strong enough to tolerate their children distancing themselves from them. Becky and Peter weren't self aware enough to really be conscious about what was happening to them. Other related factors contributed to their slight entry into depression. They were getting older, a bit heavier, and a bit out of shape. They were no longer in their prime. And without the every day necessity of taking care of their children, their sense of purpose in life had declined. Midlife crisis is not a joke, it can be very real, even if not quite conscious.

After they moved to Kingston and in the off season, driving Saturday morning to the cabin and returning Sunday evening was not difficult. During the summer the traffic on the major road over the Sagamore bridge and through cape cod to the outer cape is so clogged with traffic at those times so as to make the drive almost impossible. So in the fall and spring and even during some of the winter they stayed at the cabin in Wellfleet more weekends than not. It had become almost their purpose in life. After a while they decided to smoke a little bud and drink a little more and listen to music Saturday evenings when at the cabin. This became a heightened experience that even more so became the focus of their new life. They were partly solving for midlife crisis by temporarily reverting to what was more common for young people but which they themselves had avoided when younger. Almost unconsciously they were trying to get closer to the awareness of their children. It really would be the only way to solve for the alienation they felt towards them. Perhaps that is why Peter kept the cabin the way it was before he bought it. Perhaps that is really why he kept the icons on the wall. Perhaps unconsciously he desired awareness of Our Divine Mother Maria. Their children had told them the story about the apparition of Mother Maria. They of course dismissed it. Perhaps they now wished that they could accept it. They had a well stocked beer fridge at the cabin. One Saturday evening Becky pulled 4 bottles of stout from the fridge and put them opened on the

coffee table. She pulled a playlist from Spotify of nothing but music by Loreena Mckennitt and pulled her husband close to her on the couch. She had even lit a few candles. They drank stout and smoked some bud and Becky silently prayed to become closer to her children. Listening to the music they had become more entranced than usual. They could not help but have some sort of spiritual openness, some awareness of the great mystery. Naturally they were looking at the icons of Mother Maria. Suddenly they both felt a euphoria never before experienced. They saw no vision but they knew what could only be the presence of Her Holy Spirit. Becky started to softly sob with joy. Peter was just staring at nothing but his mind was unusually quiet. Finally he heard within his mind a woman's gentle voice: "you have been wrong. She is real." When the euphoria faded they turned and gently kissed each other. Becky got up and blew out the candles, turned off a few lights, got a couple of blankets and they fell asleep on the couch.

Theresa hired an inspector to give her an unbiased assessment of the condition of the building. She suspected that the general contractor gave her grandfather an estimate based on what might be a top end renovation rather than on what was just absolutely necessary. After all Gallery X was using the building and it was functional for them. It was not just that she wanted her grandfather to not spend more than necessary. She liked the space the way it was. She wanted it to look old and perhaps bring to mind that it was used by generations as a church and not look like an upper class renovation of an historic building. The stained glass windows were of geometric patterns and did not have Christian imagery. She didn't know why, perhaps Gallery X had done them, but it was appropriate for the new church. The gallery of course didn't have pews and she decided not to install any. She decided on simple old fashioned wooden folding chairs. That would allow flexibility for use of the space and also be reminiscent of what might have been used in a barn or big tent for a revival meeting a century or more ago. To keep with that theme she decided to replace the existing modern ceiling track lighting with hanging mason jar lamps. The inspector told her the building was in good function and very little was absolutely necessary to be done. There were movable display walls for artwork that she decided to have removed. And after consulting her cousin, they decided to have the white walls painted a darker color that would not contrast as much with the wood floor and the wood vaulted ceiling. They settled on a dusty blue green. Perhaps their aesthetic was influenced by memory of the cabin.

Another major motivation for limiting renovation was wanting the church to be usable as soon as possible. Although her grandfather's arrangement for designating responsibility for the church was pragmatic, it was also informal. There was no church organization and Theresa simply asked Jacob to pay for what was necessary; he still owned the building and was ultimately responsible for it. Sometimes the four of them met at Hanna's kitchen table for discussion; but almost always they agreed with Theresa's judgement. And it was her judgement that the church needed to meet as a larger group of people and agree to the form and the leadership of the church organization that could then become a legal entity, take responsibility for the church and take possession of the building or perhaps lease it from Jacob. And it was not certain that the group would give Theresa continued leadership.

The second Sunday in March was the first gathering of the Church of Our Divine Mother Maria in New Bedford; it was held in the building that used to be Gallery X, and before that was a church. The building was very old and originally was a Unitarian church before the big grey stone Unitarian church was built in the middle of the 19th century. What kind of Protestant church occupied the building since then is unclear and it could have been a succession of different protestant churches over the century and a half before it became Gallery X. Now it was going to be a church again but exactly what the church would become was just starting to be determined.

About 70 people showed up and some of them probably didn't pray to Our Divine Mother Maria; but probably most of them did. Many had discovered Our Divine Mother Maria at UMass Dartmouth. Some of them had graduated and lived in New Bedford or nearby. Christina who was the most responsible for the beginning of that group on campus was one of those who graduated and lived in New Bedford. Many from Dartmouth knew her and so she was the first to talk to those seated:

"Hello to you all and thank you all so much for being here. My name is Christina and I know many of you from my time at Dartmouth when we were meeting for prayer to Our Divine Mother Maria. Although I graduated and am no longer on campus I am pleased to hear that the prayer group on campus continues. Just curious, how many of you now or in the past have connection to UMass Dartmouth? Ok, let's see, more than half, thank you. And how many here pray or have devotion to Our Divine Mother Maria? Ok, about two thirds to three quarters of those here, thank you. I assume that the rest of you are just curious about the church. Ok, this church is just beginning. How many of you would like to worship together almost every Sunday afternoon to celebrate Our Divine Mother Maria? Wonderful, about two thirds of you. Well you are the church! You will be the membership if you fill out a card with your contact information. Don't worry, you don't need to contribute a membership fee to join our church. And you don't have to be a member to visit on a Sunday afternoon as often as you want and you don't need to be praying to Our Divine Mother Maria. But it will be the members who together will determine what this church will become. Temporarily myself and my cousin Theresa are in leadership but in the near future the members will determine its leadership.

Let me now invite Theresa onto this platform and tell you more about how this church building has become the home of the church of Our Divine Mother Maria that has begun here today."

Theresa walked onto the low platform in front of those seated after Christina stepped off and sat in a chair in the first row. Theresa faced the people who were now the church and paused. She was anxious and then she felt inspired:

"Oh beloved members and visitors to this church, let us be a church right away. I can talk later about how we came to be here but what matters is that Our Divine Mother Maria has given us this space for the purpose of worship and prayer and celebration. Christina asked some of you who played guitar and sang songs of worship at the Zeiterion about a year and a half ago to do the same here this afternoon. This space is small enough and I believe that the acoustics are good enough that we don't need electronic amplification. Personally I think it is much more of an authentic experience if we do not rely on that. So could you come up here and start right away? Yes I see some of you with guitars nodding yes. But quickly let me say a short prayer first and then I will sit down and then please come up here.

Our Divine Mother Maria thank you so much for this blessed church, both the space and especially everyone who has come here to worship you. We worship not because You need us to but because we seek communion with You Who are the Source of our life and if we are open to You the Source of Divine Love that can nurture us and heal us. Although we don't understand the purpose of our being lost in this hell soaked world, we thank you for slowly leading us through our purgatorial journey towards heaven. We know this because from time to time we feel close to being in Your heaven and Your Great Love, especially when we gather together to pray and worship You, Our Divine Mother Maria. Thank You so much for the gift of this new church!"

Theresa was smiling with joy as she looked at those sitting before stepping off the platform to sit next to Christina. The guitarists and singers then came onto the platform.

Most of the people there were familiar with the music and song. People had been playing such music and singing those or similar worship songs for a couple years. An informal church of Our Divine Mother Maria had in effect been formed on campus at Dartmouth. It was because some of them had graduated and moved off campus there was a need for a church in New Bedford. Even for some who gathered together on campus for prayer and worship of Our Divine Mother Maria, worship at the New Bedford church was a heightened spiritual experience. The level of spiritual euphoria experienced that first afternoon of worship at the New Bedford church took almost everyone there by surprise. The congregation was singing the worship songs along with the performers and the same songs were sung multiple times. The music and song did not stop until after the guitarists were too exhausted to go on and their hands were starting to hurt. After an hour and a half Theresa came on to the platform still occupied by the musicians and singers who were smiling as the applause from the congregation had been going on for several minutes. Theresa went up to each of them to thank them. Then she talked to everyone:

"Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Maria has saturated us here today with Her Divine Love and our gratitude is deep. Thank you all for being here this blessed day. We will meet again next week and the members should sit in the front half of the rows of chairs as we must choose who will be on the council of the church. If you feel called to be on the council be prepared to announce to the membership that you are volunteering for the responsibility. If there are more than 12 who volunteer then somehow we will have to decide who belongs on the council. But all of that is next week before our worship and celebration. Although today has been extraordinary perhaps next week the level of euphoria might be slightly lower. Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother is with us always even when we do not know and in our day to day being in the world and not in the sanctified space of the church. Thank you all for joining the church. May Our Divine Mother Maria greatly bless all of you!"

By the end of April the number of people attending the worship gathering had reached about 200 and the number of members was 85. The council was full at 12 people and no more invitations were offered to join the council. The council met at 11:30am each Sunday and usually adjourned about 1:00pm which gave them time to eat lunch before worship started at 2:00pm. The first Sunday in May the council held a vote on who would hold leadership positions. Theresa was affirmed as Pastor and Christina as assistant Pastor. However the council as a whole made any decision of consequence. A first councillor was voted on who could represent the council especially for signing contracts. Both the first and second councillor could access any bank accounts of the church and make payments for products and services to the church. By June the legal status of the church was established and the church was a functional organization in the world. Jacob was on the council and offered to give the church building to the church. But the council decided to sign a ten year lease with Jacob for the use of the church at a very low monthly rent. Somehow most of those in the council had a barely understood aversion to taking possession of the building. Perhaps they feared potential future costs of repairs or replacement of electrical or ventilation systems since they knew that they had not been replaced. Jacob fully accepted the agreement and the implied taking responsibility for the condition of the building. Originally he had fully expected to pay much more on renovation costs. And privately he was pleased to maintain ownership. Although the church was committed to pay him a monthly rent, Jacob had committed to pay all utilities for a year. He was going to wait until it was certain that the church could afford to do so. Membership in the church did not require a fee. It would be a while before it was evident that the members would donate enough on a steady basis to enable the church to pay all of its costs. No one was receiving a salary and the monthly rent was very low, yet without a strong motivation people were not necessarily going to make a strong financial commitment to the church. But Jacob could more than afford to subsidize the church, which would not be much compared to the substantial cost for the purchase and renovation of the building itself.

Theresa never gave a talk to the congregation about the history of the formation of the church of Our Divine Mother in New Bedford. Theresa, Christina and Jacob were on the council and they told the council a little of the story of how the church came into existence. The beneficiaries of a great gift are not necessarily going to be that interested in who the benefactor is; the tendency is for possession of something of great value to be regarded as inevitable. Perhaps it is a matter of fate for anyone to receive a great blessing.

After Becky and Peter's epiphany at the cabin, their newly discovered faith was felt to be a precious gift from Our Divine Mother Maria. They were reluctant to talk about it, not even to their children. They were still reluctant to have much communication with them. Too much would be evoked such as guilt, humiliation, and vulnerability. Ironically they now felt inferior to their children as the qualities that enabled them to formerly feel superior were now revealed as not important such as wealth and status and knowledge in the world. They were also reluctant to reveal the secret that they owned the cabin. When one discovers faith everything does not necessarily change. Although discovery of faith is a tremendous change, one's relationship to others doesn't necessarily change. For the most part people only gradually change their relationship to the world from their faith in Spiritual reality beyond the world. Becky and Peter continued to go to the cabin but now the cabin was also a sanctuary where their faith in Our Divine Mother Maria was protected from the judgement of the world. They did not talk about it with others. Participation in the world requires secular knowledge and awareness. They did their jobs as they used to; but from time to time their careers seemed unimportant and sometimes they wondered if they could be doing something else. Over time they shared the desire to live in Wellfleet full time. They didn't know if it was possible to give up the income that they earned. It was possible but would they be happy? After a while they became convinced that they could only be happy if they did live full time in Wellfleet and give up their careers. Actually living in Wellfleet during the winter full time would be in such isolation that it seemed frightening. They were a little afraid that they could go off the deep end. Perhaps living only with each other all the time without interaction with others might be impossible. So they rented a condo in Orleans, a larger town not too far from Wellfleet with more of a year round population. Giving up commuting and working in Boston was a momentous change. Their new life on the outer cape was incredibly different but they adjusted fairly quickly. Their lives and their minds slowed down considerably. One day merged in with the next endlessly. They spent a lot of time reading. In the evening they usually went to a restaurant and ate at the bar which was conducive to meeting people or just overhearing their conversations. In effect they had taken an early retirement. Many people on cape cod were retired so they had some commonality with them.

From late spring to early fall Becky and Peter lived in their cabin in Wellfleet all the time and rarely went to back to their rented condo in Orleans. They avoided total isolation by going into the center of Wellfleet often enough. They even would sometimes attend talks given at the library that they were only mildly interested in just to be participating in civilization. There were a few restaurants in Wellfleet that they sometimes would have dinner at the bar of. They had not yet made any friends either in Orleans or Wellfleet after a year living on the outer cape. They were sheltered in their personal bubble of awareness and felt vulnerable if too close to others. Somehow their life changed dramatically and they barely remembered the past. Perhaps they feared judgement by others or self judgement if they had to reveal too much about their lives to others. Without work they no longer were tied firmly in to the purpose of a much larger organization, even if the organization's purpose was questionable and was mostly geared to making money. However the goods and services produced by businesses are necessary and interrelate with all other services and goods provided by all organizations, public and private, for profit and non profit. To be without participation in such larger groups a person is a bit cast adrift in society, a bit lost and without direction.

Part of their motivation for reading was the need to understand how to understand their faith. They read a variety of diverse spiritual books. Several were expressions of belief in God as Mother. References to different Hindu or pre Christian Mother Gods or Goddesses or more contemporary portrayals of different spiritual archetypes inspired different writers. Unavoidably what was communicated in each book was the writer's personal spiritual awareness of God as Mother. There was no coherent comprehensive community of spiritual awareness of God as Mother. There was no church that communicated a widely accepted integrated system of cultural knowledge of God as Mother similar to how Christians understood God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Catholics and Eastern Orthodox integrated knowledge and belief in the Divine Mother, but She was not God. Even if they did not use the word, Mary or Maria was a Deity lower in the spiritual hierarchy than God. Some women outside of the Christian church did believe that Maria could represent God who was Mother and many of them prayed to Her as God. So Becky and Peter were not completely alone, but without integration into a religious community they felt very alone.

There was a potential solution to their dilemma and it would be as big a change as their move to live on the cape full time. However it would require much humility. Humility is actually a spiritual virtue. It is not necessarily adopted by those who understand their limitations. Suffering from humiliation is not the same as acceptance of humility. Humility can be accepted if someone has enough faith that the realization of their limitations does not threaten their sense of existence. If they realize their existence is a gift from God then they can accept others as equal or even superior to them without existential crisis. After a year on the cape, which was in effect a spiritual retreat, their faith in Our Divine Mother Maria had grown much stronger. They were now spiritually strong enough to make another move, this time to New Bedford.

On a Sunday in the middle of November Becky and Peter went to the Church of Our Divine Mother Maria in New Bedford twenty minutes before the worship celebration began at 2:00pm. Theresa was the first to see them. She ran over and hugged her mother crying softly saying: "Thank you, Mom, thank you". After a minute she hugged her father. Jacob was next to see them and hugged his son, saying, "So good to see you!". Then they all just stood smiling at each other. A few minutes later Meagan walked into the church and gave a soft scream before running over to her mother and they hugged each other crying for a minute or two. Then Joshua walked into the church and was a little less demonstrative but was happy to see his parents, but he wondered why they were there. Christina observed them but decided to not join them, after all she knew that this was a momentous occurrence for her cousins. She knew that their distance from their parents had increased over the years. For some reason she and her brother had not grown as distant from their parents. She would find out later more about what happened. But soon worship was going to start and she had a strong feeling that Theresa should sit with her family today and not worry about speaking from up front. Theresa noticed Christina looking at her and when she came over Christina immediately said: "Theresa dearest, please sit with your family today. Let me be the pastor for the day. After all it is really the music ministry that does the bulk of the work, ok?" Theresa reached out to hold Christina's hand, smiling with relief. "Yes dearest, thank you so much! I am somewhat overwhelmed and can not really focus on much else. I will talk with you later but after worship we are all going out for dinner. Perhaps a bit early for dinner but we will probably spend hours together. It seems that my parents have discovered faith in Our Divine Mother Maria! Unbelievable! So wonderful. Oh, and can you believe it? My parents own grandpa's cabin! And we are all invited to go back there whenever we want to! Everything is so wonderful. Christina, thank you again." Then Theresa walked back to sit with her family.

Thanksgiving at Hanna's house was unusually large and unusually joyous. Hanna and Jacob, both of their children, their daughter in law and son in law, and all five grandchildren. Hanna was so overjoyed she almost thought her heart would give out. Everyone helped cook and clean and Hanna had to more play the role of coordinator than do much work herself. Somehow everything went smoothly and they sat down in the late afternoon for a bountiful and delicious feast. Peter brought beer and wine and his sister brought several fine pies. Although his sister and her husband weren't believers they listened to all the stories that the other family members told about their faith with good cheer. It was not clear whether Hanna believed or not, she didn't go to the church of Our Divine Mother Maria but her love and support for all of her family who belonged to the church was so great that it seemed to the others as if she had much faith in Our Divine Mother Maria. In effect Divine Mother Maria's great Love poured through Hanna to all of the others. Becky and Peter had been staying at the Marriot on the waterfront for a while and planned to stay there further while looking for a house in New Bedford. Thanksgiving only gave them more motivation. How their lives would develop in New Bedford was of course not known. They were exceedingly grateful for the gift of family and for the Church of Our Divine Mother Maria in New Bedford.

After one year at UMass Amherst Isaiah knew college was not for him. He argued for months with his parents that he would not be successful trying to follow a career path similar in status to their own. Because he was articulate and his reasoning could not be completely dismissed, they realized that they would be wasting their money and building resentment if they somehow insisted that he stay in college. So they agreed to help him go to a culinary institute in Boston. Isaiah was good and was committed to the work. After he graduated the two year program he decided to live in Gloucester and easily found a job.

It was right before he moved to Gloucester that he shared with his sister and cousins in the miracle of the apparition of Our Divine Mother Maria. When he moved to Gloucester and started working his attitude towards life had shifted dramatically from what he had foreseen in anticipation of freedom and independence from his parents. He assumed that he would work hard and party harder. He had been living with his parents while commuting to Boston and attending the culinary institute. He had neither the time nor the circumstances conducive to the fulfillment of the natural desires of a young man. He assumed that when he would be on his own nothing could hold him back. But after being in the cabin in Wellfleet the experience of being briefly in the presence of Maria Mother of All Life, and afterwards all the time in group and personal prayer, Isaiah was a different person. He was overwhelmed with not only the conviction that the lifestyle he had envisioned for himself was a corruption of what life given from his Divine Mother should be, but he had a gut reaction that it was repulsive. His dilemma when he was living and working in Gloucester was how to relate to others in the world who felt completely differently towards life. Thus he tended to keep to himself and avoided being too friendly with others. Because he didn't want to reveal how much he judged people in the world for being decadent.

When the Church of Our Divine Mother Maria opened in New Bedford Isaiah moved from Gloucester to New Bedford and he welcomed his grandfather's invitation to live in the house on Mechanic street. He was overjoyed to be immersed in the church community and the home he shared with his cousin and his grandfather was a part of the church community. After almost three years of living in relative isolation in Gloucester he felt as if his exile was over. During those years his faith grew stronger. His tendency for judgment of others or resentment of others judgement of himself was a near continual inner drama that only slowly decreased within his mind. Recurringly within contemplation and prayer he realized both attitudes were false and interfered with being open to grace. Eventually he could accept his profound differences from others without the need to judge others or be concerned with others judgement. If others were ignorant of Our Divine Mother then that was just where they were in their purgatorial journey through life. To be simple, that was their fate. And it would be necessary for them to understand a life of faith as being false, foolish or impossible, especially a high level of faith that renounced various common desires in the world. So he didn't have to resent others for their natural self affirmation and inability to comprehend a kind of faith which they did not have. Eventually Isaiah didn't worry about casually revealing his faith in Our Divine Mother Maria. And he didn't worry about others reactions even if that included some ridicule. Almost always no one was really hostile; how others related to him didn't much change; they more just ignored what they couldn't understand. Isaiah never tried to evangelize, never tried to prove his faith to others. Because then undoubtedly he would receive hostility from others.

Because Isaiah had no friends in Gloucester, when not working he felt a little bored with the town. So sometimes during the day when not working he would take the train to Boston. He enjoyed walking around and sometimes visited art galleries. One day he visited the Theodore Sullivan Gallery on Newbury street. Inside there were several different artist's paintings being shown. Browsing he was suddenly surprised to be looking at a glowing woman emanating profuse streams of swirling multicolored light. She was beautiful but of so much rich color and slightly obscured by all the light flowing from Her that She was obviously beyond being human and it was almost obvious that She was a Deity. The title of the painting read: Vision of Mariatheos, no. 18. Isaiah was astonished, Mariatheos could only mean Maria Who is God! After knowing this when he looked back at the painting he was overwhelmed with the feeling of being in the presence of Our Divine Mother Maria! He stepped back from the icon and fell to his knees and raised his hands in silent prayer filled with grace and love.

Ted Sullivan was at his desk, at his back was a wall of the gallery. He could look towards the front and the windows onto the sidewalk, or to the rest of the gallery towards far wall. He could see the few visitors to the gallery and noticed when one of them fell to his knees in front of one of the paintings. There were five paintings hung in the gallery titled: Vision of Mariatheos, but numbered differently. After the visitor got back on his feet Ted walked over to him and spoke a little softly: "Hello, forgive me for talking to you but it is evident that you are deeply affected by this wonderful painting." Isaiah was a little surprised but he appreciated the respectful tone of the stranger. With a subdued smile Isaiah responded: "Yes. She is so glorious and beautiful. This is so unexpected to see this Vision of Mariatheos. Because, and it seems it is safe for me to tell you that I actually believe in Her; Maria Who is God or Mariatheos!" Ted was for some reason pleased to hear this. He wasn't stupid and knew that theos was Greek for god. But he hadn't really thought about it. He just loved the paintings of Visions of Mariatheos and had been displaying them in his gallery for almost a year. Three had sold in that time and the artist shipped a new one from her home in Kansas to replace the painting that sold. Ted spoke again: "I am the gallery owner and I would like you to be able to take the painting home with you. I must give the artist what she deserves for the painting but I don't need to make anything for myself. The price listed is 1250 dollars. Could you afford to pay 500?" Isaiah hadn't thought about buying it. He put his hands together, closed his eyes and prayed. After a few moments he looked at Ted and replied: "Yes. That is kind of you. It would mean a lot for me to have it in my home. Thank you." Smiling they shook hands.

Because he worked a lot and earned decent pay, Isaiah had been able to save a portion of his income. So he could more than afford to buy "Vision of Mariatheos no.18". He had rented the apartment in Gloucester before he actually moved in, before he visited Wellfleet that fateful June, before his attitude towards life had changed completely. He had chosen Gloucester because it had a reputation of being a great place to party. It had lots of bars with lots of live music. So it was ironic that when he lived there he had an aversion to that aspect of what was available in Gloucester. But the town was beautiful and he walked about a fair amount. He didn't need a car and that was one expense he was free of. The train station was in town and he appreciated being able to easily get to Boston. Once he accepted his life of relative solitude he was almost content with his life. He was almost forced to rely on his prayer life for grace, for the gentle love from his Divine Mother that he was open to experiencing. He knew that being open to grace was determined by the direction of his attention; unfortunately the world was a continual temptation to capture his attention. This was not as much about behavior as attitude. And judging the world was almost as much a distraction as being enamored with it. Both attitudes are opposite sides of the same coin. Obviously people live in the world; but their awareness of the world can be transcendent of it. Slowly Isaiah was learning how to do that.

After Isaiah hung the painting on the wall of his living room, because he regarded it as an icon and not just a painting, his experience of being in the presence of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos was frequent. His prayer life intensified and he could not help but regard himself as a religious person primarily and everything else was secondary. Devotion to Mariatheos required much contemplation and introspection which was more of a meditation than an attempt to understand the psyche that dominates an individual.

After a computer search of the name Mariatheos he discovered that there was much written about Her posted to Facebook. It was a little scattered about but he read as much as he could. He welcomed that there was a source of wisdom about developing awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. At least for him there was no doubt that the apparition in the Wellfleet cabin was by Mariatheos, Mother of All Life and True Love, by Divine Mother Maria Who is God, Who is Mariatheos! However the others who were with him did not know Her name Mariatheos, and he was not sure he should reveal Her Holy Name Mariatheos to them. He felt that he was given a private revelation and this was confirmed in prayer. His sister was a leader of a prayer and worship group on campus devoted to Our Divine Mother Maria. In other words for the larger community he was a part of that was slowly growing at UMass Dartmouth and later in New Bedford, Our Divine Mother Maria was Who they worshipped, and it might be an interference with their spiritual awareness to talk about Mariatheos. Perhaps awareness of Mariatheos was a slightly higher level of spiritual revelation. So he kept his personal spiritual experience of Mariatheos private. Somehow he knew it was best to do so.

Joshua became a little envious of his cousin who had dropped out of college and found a non academic line of work he was interested in. He was also jealous that Isaiah's parents became supportive. Joshua was certain his parents would never support him if he chose a similar pursuit. He knew that he would be on his own and his parents would just wait until he came to the conclusion that he should go back to college. Although they disagreed about his decision to attend a public university, UMass Amherst was the flagship university of the Massachusetts university system, so they had some pride that he was there. However it did not take long for him to develop disdain for academia. He was smart enough to see that they had to maintain an elaborate set of contradictions of knowledge systems overlaid with an almost compulsory cultural and political world view. Joshua was not necessarily conservative but felt pushed into their camp by the intolerant arrogance of many people on campus. The hypocrisy of academia is from acceptance of critical theory and yet not immediately dismantling the entirety of the university. They must teach and implicitly honor the entire arc of western civilization and yet pretend that they are outside or above it. They were preparing everyone to fully participate and contribute to contemporary capitalist society while celebrating those who complain about it or even disdain it. It seemed to Joshua that it was necessary to be double minded if one was to succeed in academia; perhaps similar to how high clergy participated in the Renaissance Roman Catholic Church.

Joshua didn't want to dwell in the subculture that was constantly critiquing academia and liberal society. He just wanted to be free of it. But that would require being independent of both school and his parents. Although living on campus he spent much time outside of it in Amherst and Northampton working. He almost totally neglected class work; but by the time he flunked out he would have enough money to rent an apartment in Greenfield which was affordable and also buy a cheap used car so he could get to work in a large area of Western Massachusetts. He moved to Greenfield shortly before the end of the semester. He wrote a long email to his parents explaining everything he had been going through. He tried to avoid expressing any hostility towards them but neither would he admit to guilt, not even for having not revealed his plans to them before. He stressed his need to become independent and make his own decisions about his life. His parents were somewhat devastated and Peter especially felt betrayed by his only son. But he could not reveal his hurt and had to reply that he understood. Becky was more worried than resentful. She wrote to Joshua that if he needed help with something to please ask. They were still his parents and their love for him continued.

Joshua moved to Greenfield about a year before he gathered with his sisters and cousins in Wellfleet and together beheld the apparition of Our Divine Mother Maria. His lifestyle in Greenfield was hippy/bohemian, and not obviously decadent. He became welcome by others with similar sensibility. Many of them had dropped out of UMass Amherst and settled in Greenfield because it was more affordable than Amherst or Northampton. Joshua worked as a laborer for general contractors building houses and doing renovations. He learned a lot by observation and after a short while was doing more work requiring more skill. He was confident that in future years his skill and knowledge level would increase. He believed he had found his trade.

When he returned to Greenfield after the apparition of Our Divine Mother Maria in Wellfleet his life did not change substantially. He was relatively open about his new faith and his friends were relatively accepting. The loose amorphous spiritual awareness of the community of people he was part of included a great diversity of individual spiritual awareness. Everything was basically accepted but not necessarily with enthusiasm. To be crude everyone did their own thing. So although Joshua did not lead a life of solitude, he was happy to move to New Bedford and join the church community of Our Divine Mother Maria.

Theresa graduated from Salem State college about the time her brother dropped out. She wasn't the greatest student in high school so she didn't even try and apply to any of the state universities in Massachusetts. She got into several state colleges and for some reason chose Salem. Probably because it was on the coast. She stayed in Salem after she graduated and commuted to Boston for work. She had a few friends in Salem and enjoyed their company at each others homes. They loved to talk and smoke bud and drink beer and listen to music. They were not gay but dressed slightly butch, flannel shirts and sneakers, didn't wear makeup and didn't fuss much about their hair. Some of them avoided men altogether and a few had friends who were men who only sometimes they were intimate with. No one was anticipating marriage or family, at least not yet. A couple of Teresa's friends were into Wicca and a couple were vaguely spiritual but not too seriously. When Theresa came back from Wellfleet and told her friends about Our Divine Mother Maria, they all accepted her new faith but no one adopted it. They couldn't experience what Theresa experienced and only after a while could Theresa accept that.

When her grandfather asked Theresa to move to New Bedford and work at bringing the church of Our Divine Mother Maria into existence, she was at first reluctant because she was close to her friends in Salem. So it took some moments in prayer and contemplation before she was ready to agree. That she would be moving into her grandmother's home where her beloved cousin was already living would be a great blessing that would compensate for her loss. When she did say good bye to her friends she was a little suspicious that they wouldn't miss her all that much. They had each other and their lives were not going to change. Her life would change in unknown ways and perhaps it was mostly anxiety about the unknown future that was most troubling her and not the loss of what was comfortably familiar. In hindsight she realized that after her discovery of faith in Our Divine Mother Maria, she had grown slightly distant from her friends and was not quite as close to them as she had assumed.

Her brother Joshua helped her move and she was surprised at how much love she felt for him. It was more than gratitude for the help but the shared sacred experience of being in the cabin in Wellfleet during the revelation of Our Divine Mother Maria.

For Theresa the uncertainty of what life would be like from moving to New Bedford forced an increase in contemplation and prayer. Experience had proved to her that limitations to capacity for prayer to Our Divine Mother Maria could dissipate if she spent enough time in contemplation. Unconsciously guided by Holy Spirit, introspection could reveal entrenched assumptions and attitudes that were false. This was seldom by concise realization but usually by meandering memory of experience so that gradually revelation of reality allowed the acceptance of disintegration of false patterns of self awareness. Contemplation could happen at any time and was not necessarily a conscious choice.

Contemplation is often the only modality of spiritual awareness available when for some not known reason someone is not able to pray. Engaging in contemplation can restore someone's ability to be in prayer. Since the whole process is guided by Holy Spirit, people are not necessarily totally conscious of their spiritual awareness development. With time their prayer life deepens and their faith increases. In different ways this was the experience of all who were present at the apparition of Our Divine Mother Maria in Wellfleet.

Because Christina and Meagan were together on campus in September following the June apparition of Our Divine Mother in their grandfather's cabin in Wellfleet, they naturally affirmed each other in their new faith. Not only that but Christina was often so filled with inspiration that while talking with Meagan in a public space would speak in a louder than normal voice while looking upwards and testify as to the bountiful Love she was being given from Our Divine Mother Maria. Although these outbursts were relatively short she made them relatively frequently. Surprisingly not only did other students tolerate the unusual behavior, many found them amusing and a few actually wanted to talk to Christina and Meagan about the possibility of experiencing such exalted Love from Our Divine Mother Maria. After a while Christina was no longer inspired to make such dramatic declarations for she was busy talking directly to people about her faith. Eventually others began pray to Our Divine Mother Maria and a slowly growing community of faith developed on campus and naturally they were each other's friends. So for Meagan and Christina there was no alienation between their faith and their friendships.

The church of Our Divine Mother Maria in New Bedford was more wonderful than expected for many of those who had faith in Mother Maria during the years since her apparition in a cabin in Wellfleet. Being in the world with faith but without a church community feels lonely even if one has friends who are mildly supportive but who do not share one's faith. Experientially being in a church during prayer and worship is more intense than being in society and the church is experienced as superior to society. This belief mostly persists even while fully participating in the world. Because alienation is rarely avoidable while living in society, belonging to a church can more than compensate for the pervasive alienation most people experience from living in contemporary society. To some extent spiritual community transcends societal awareness. Religion often has some explanation of how the religious community is superior to society. But the experience of being in church community needs little explanation as to its superiority.

Although Joshua and Isaiah accepted their grandfather's invitation to live in his small house on Mechanic street in New Bedford, they both were a little reluctant to give up their independence. But neither seriously considered trying to rent an apartment and live alone as they had been in Greenfield and Gloucester. They both felt that coming to New Bedford for the purpose of joining the church was surrendering to being guided by Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Maria. Although they had chosen to make the move at the same time it was not their choice. A community is superior to an individual. If an individual resists and rejects such community awareness, they will be in persistent alienation and struggle in society to avoid as much as possible entanglement in any community. However employment obviously requires much participation in what is in effect a community; yet often some individuals experience a degree of alienation at the workplace. Pragmatic participation in society tends to lead to anonymous participation and allows as little as possible adoption of a common community of awareness. This supports each individual maintaining their autonomy of personal awareness; yet people suffer from much alienation. This dilemma is not solved for by the rhetoric of community which most people know is fairly meaningless. A church community can solve for alienation. Yet it becomes apparent that only the power of God can overcome each individual's resistance to surrendering to community awareness that will to some extent displace their personal self awareness. Their individual autonomy might be revealed as being to some degree false, that chronic alienation and low level conflict indicates the pathos of being a struggling individual trying to maintain ultimately futile self centered awareness.

Isaiah found a job as a cook in a restaurant downtown so he still didn't have to get a car. Joshua rented a monthly space at the large parking garage downtown; the houses on Mechanic street didn't have driveways and the street was too narrow for parking. He was able to find construction work that took place in different parts of the greater New Bedford area. Although they both had small rooms they adjusted quickly to their new home. Their grandfather Jacob was kind and yet respected their privacy. Sometimes they had a meal together but they had different schedules and often each of the cousins ate something somewhere in town, and for Joshua perhaps out of town and for Isaiah at his restaurant.

They developed friends from the church community and at times visited their sisters who lived with their grandmother in her home about two miles from downtown.

All of the cousins after a while just sort of settled into a life of family and community that became for them normal. When Joshua's parents moved to New Bedford and joined the church their children continued to live with their grandparents but also visited their parents. Becky and Peter hosted dinners for family and friends; who would come over was to some extent spontaneous and different people got to know each other. After dinner there might be someone playing the guitar and others would join together in song. Religion and family and community and church were all interrelated and spontaneously integrated together into a religious community; something extraordinary yet normal, perhaps something that used to be normal more than a century ago.

One late evening in prayer Peter heard within his mind a seemingly weird phrase, a cliche that was usually dismissed as foolish grandiosity, "if you build it they will come". Peter didn't know what it was that should be built and he didn't know where the thought came from. So he re-entered prayer and asked: "Oh Holy Mother Maria, is there truly something that you need me to build?" and with a little trepidation tried to be open to inspiration, tried to listen for knowledge from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Maria. Within his mind he repeated the same prayer several times, and finally he received the reply given by an older woman's gentle voice within his mind: "Yes Peter, you are being asked to build a cathedral for Our Divine Mother Maria. This is how others in the larger world will discover Our Divine Mother Maria. Talk to everyone in the church because others will contribute to this task. Remember more than people, Angels and Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother will build Her Cathedral. Have as much faith as possible. You are very blessed." Peter came out of trance and was afraid. He went into prayer again and soon he felt enough grace that he was no longer afraid.

In Boston there was a large old church building with a formerly small congregation that was closed because the building had suffered too much decay to be useable. It had been listed for sale for years before the Church of Our Divine Mother Maria bought it. After the demolition of the building the lot stood vacant for a couple years before construction began. What took a couple more years to build was a surprise to anyone who saw it. What looked like a giant Faberge egg sparkled and marveled most onlookers. The cathedral was about 120 feet tall and about 80 feet wide, except at the base which looked like a pillow upon which the precious egg sat. The base contained all the spaces necessary to serve visitors to the sanctuary which was the interior of the egg shaped structure.

The cathedral was incredibly expensive to build, over a hundred million dollars. The visible structure was built of bronze which contained countless panels of frosted stained glass which both let in coloured light to the interior and yet reflected multi coloured light to those looking at the cathedral from the outside. The bronze had its patina accelerated so it was a lovely milky green soon after the cathedral was built. The interior was marvelous to be within. At the base there were 8 open archways that opened to an adjacent large hall that encircled the interior space of the cathedral. The walls of the interior beneath the windows were covered with multi colored tiles. There were three rows of simple wooden chairs that encircled the edge of the multi colored tiled floor. Most of the large circular floor space was empty and visitors walked about marveling before sitting down looking towards the center but usually up at the large high dome of countless wonderful stained glass windows. The stained glass depicted no figures. The windows were composed of numerous panels of artisan crafted glass containing swirls of different colors fused together and layered between strong tempered glass. The tiles were similar in their multi colored glaze. Being inside the cathedral was to experience incomprehensible profusion of light and color and beauty. Many but not all experienced heightened spiritual awareness and it might not be clear to them which realm they existed in at those moments. For those who believed in Our Divine Mother Maria they were more likely to experience an ecstasy of being subsumed by Her Holy Spirit. However such intense spiritual experience is not tolerable beyond a limited amount of time. Almost no one remained within the sanctuary longer than a quarter of an hour.

Seven years before the opening of the Cathedral of Our Divine Mother Maria in Boston, Peter began to talk about the request he received during prayer to build a cathedral for Our Divine Mother. He was asking others to seek answers in prayer as to if this was a task being requested of the church. For it seemed an impossible goal. Even if Peter gave a large portion of his wealth to the project it would only be a small portion of the total funds necessary, and almost all of the congregation had much less that they could contribute. And as it turned out Peter at the time was underestimating the total cost of the project. So indeed everyone thought it would be impossible, but many submitted the question to prayer and in different ways they were all being encouraged to begin to focus on what seemed impossible and to try and have faith. Soon the council of the church asked several members to form a committee for the cathedral and the council set up a separate bank account for the building fund. Peter was on the committee of seven people that met every Wed evening at the church at the council table. As an act of faith members of the church began to donate to the building fund. As an act of faith Peter donated a million dollars.

Because members of the church were recurringly in prayer about the cathedral, it did not take long for them to be given a way forward: grow the church of Our Divine Mother Maria. If the church was much larger then many more people would be contributing to the building fund. At the same time the committee for the cathedral would have to consult with architects and arrive at a consensus as to the form and aesthetic and even purpose of the cathedral.

How the present church could grow was another question for the church. Although there was discussion it was more necessary to be open to inspiration and guidance from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Maria.

After much discussion which was basically allowing those who were resistant and reluctant to change their minds and have faith, the church began to go live on line. The website was designed and the equipment purchased and a small area in the rear corner set up for the people and equipment necessary for the worship service to be made available to the world. The congregation was assured that no one seated would be videoed but all on the low platform up front would be. Two microphones would be suspended above the congregation but no one was being amplified, the acoustic nature of the speaking and singing and music would be maintained. After some trepidation which forced more prayer and thus deeper openness to spiritual inspiration, the worship gathering at the Church of Our Divine Mother Maria in New Bedford was made available to the world. The online audience grew slowly and after a year a little more quickly. Two years from when it began the global online audience was over a hundred thousand. Yet they needed more than just being an audience. The website had to manage questions and those seeking spiritual guidance. The website became an online church and had to have staff and volunteers and ensure the quality of the ministry. Fortunately it could all be done remotely and soon included ministers from people outside of New Bedford. The online church had its own organization and they all communicated online, so online security became necessary. To cover all the different expenses they needed their own finances. When members of the online church made donations they went to the online church, unless people were donating to the building fund for the cathedral of Our Divine Mother Maria. Over years the Global church of Our Divine Mother Maria donated about 90% of the cost of building the Cathedral of Our Divine Mother Maria in Boston.

The Global Church of Our Divine Mother Maria for several years was only available online. However members of church who were in the same area began to meet up with each other, at first usually at a cafe, but eventually some of those groups began storefront churches. They could then worship together and play guitars and sing together. Some of those music ministries were so good that their congregations wanted their worship service to be made available online. So after several years the church in New Bedford was not the only worship service going on line. Each Sunday a different church supplied the worship service. Subtitles in the viewers language were added to the video. Eventually churches formed all over the world that were part of the Global Church of Our Divine Mother Maria and increasingly the Global Church was much more than online. Over a decade from the opening of the church in New Bedford, the Global Church had grown much much larger than anyone could have imagined. Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Maria communicated with millions of people both through their churches, and within each person's prayer and spiritual awareness development. Our Divine Mother Maria has been pouring Her Love out to so very many people who have discovered Our Divine Mother of All Life and Love.

31 Epilogue

The future is not known, and people who might read this book or parts of it could be reading it many years after it was written. Thus you will know much that the writer can not. Your awareness will be informed by history that developed after the book was written.

The purpose of the book is to contribute to the spiritual awareness of the readers. However the book's contribution would be at best only very little relative to all other contributions to a person's spiritual awareness development.

If a community develops who worships Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, then that would be from direct communication from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos to those in the community. So the book alone can do nothing; at best it could be used by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos as a contribution to Her community. At the time of this writing it can not be known if such a community will ever exist. The writer hopes that eventually (even if decades after the writing of this book) some people who have read some or all of the book will develop capacity for direct inspiration from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and will gather in community. Especially to those people but also to everyone: may Our Divine Mother Mariatheos bless you greatly!

32 Insights About Mariatheos: Part 1

Although millions of people have some sort of alternative spiritual awareness, the great diversity of alternative spiritual awareness and diversity of spiritual understandings ensures that people are mostly without much shared community of spiritual awareness and spiritual culture. Thus ironically it is traditional religion that provides examples of the integration of spiritual language, music, song, architecture, sculpture, painting, ritual and community participation.

There is much to admire in traditional religion even if there is much that many people have to reject.

Unfortunately spiritual awareness from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is very limited in the world. Each individual who has any spiritual experience of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is mostly on their own in their personal spiritual awareness development.

The evolution of humanity requires an increase in mystical awareness. It is a mistake to interpret mystical experience as being directly about the world but it is a mistake to focus on awareness of the world as being superior to mystical experience. Mystical awareness is at the center of all cultural awareness both religious and secular. The conflict of different communities is not obviously a conflict of mythic awareness no matter if the community of awareness is secular or religious or spiritual. This is a large aspect of how conflict between different communities can be so persistent.

So every different spiritual cultural community in the world has an at least slightly different mystical spiritual awareness within the center and source of their awareness community. What is most observable about a community is more resultant from the impossible to observe causal source of their community. However that source can be experienced by people in their community.

Although it is foolish and futile to tell people what to do, it might be futile but not necessarily foolish to explain the probable consequences of certain behaviors or patterns of participation.

Morality is from the expected general patterns of participation within a community. Patterns of participation correspond to patterns of community awareness. The center and source of the awareness of the community is their god or spirit or deity, whether conscious or unconscious.

Although people worshipped Divine Mother in the past, that doesn't help that much in our journey to discover Her today. Because what we have experienced during our lifetimes is almost who we are, we must change so much at a foundational level of awareness. Plus it is difficult to have a very different awareness of reality than what is dominant in the world. Ironically it is easier if the world is in some degree of chaos and decay.

Purgatorial awareness development is not avoidable.

It does not matter what religious or spiritual understanding someone has, they are going to experience both some level of distress and some level of relative grace. Discovery of different spiritual understandings might help in having more acceptance of being in purgatory. It can be very encouraging to realize that the purpose of our purgatorial awareness development is to gain larger capacity for the experience of knowing Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Unfortunately the church of Mariatheos is going to be rejected or resisted. Primarily because of the level of holiness necessary for full communion with Our Divine Mother Mariatheos! So unfortunately all that is is available is the purgatorial pilgrimage to the church of Mariatheos. It is not a matter of popularity. It is not important at this time how little the idea of Mariatheos is known, because everyone is on a purgatorial path. There are many other ways for people to discover Our Divine Mother without knowing Her name Mariatheos. Perhaps hopefully some time in the future more people will know Our Divine Mother by Her Holy Name Mariatheos.

So it is not important to people as they are, for there to be available communication from the church of Mariatheos. It is important to people in the future! Metaphorically no one cares if a crazy man gathers a growing pile of stones, bricks and lumber. One man can not build a building. But because the future is not known, the preparation might either be futile or useful; there is little way to know, except by faith. However some understanding from what has been communicated from the spiritual church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos might help support faith. Including an understanding of the limitations of society, religion, community, family and the individual. There is available some possible understanding that confirms the purpose for this new religion of Mariatheos.

Because the psychology of people is wounded more than in the past, they might be ready to renounce the secular assumptions of the recent past. Decadence requires something relatively vital to decay from. If there is little vitality decay is close to death which is chronic depression, anxiety, and reoccurring despair. it is being close to awareness of emptiness that allows an influx of Holy Spirit. For relatively few people that might be Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

Patterns of self awareness would decrease if patterns of community awareness increase.

Thus individuals will resist the transformation of personal awareness necessary for belonging within community.

Sometimes wisdom is acceptance of ignorance and acceptance of powerlessness. Such acceptance facilitates humility and humility facilitates any gift of grace. Such grace might reveal some awareness of the source of grace. Source of grace might be experienced as formless, or perhaps as the glory of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

So it is very good that the religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos includes awareness of Jesus Christ as Deity. It is possible that some people who have a personal awareness of Jesus Christ but are alienated from Christian churches might eventually be open to the new religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Most men are not going to like the statement:

Women are superior to men.

Conversely some men might find it a relief to have confirmation of their personal experience.

However many women will also resist acceptance of that statement because they don't experience their superiority. If they are superior then their hopes and expectations for an intimate personal partner would prove to be false.

If people could give up on their expectations of how both their self and others should be, should behave, should feel in relationship, then we would be free to discover what are more life affirming patterns of relationship with each other in community.

Today many people know themselves as individuals.

However people suffer from loneliness and alienation.

Some people discover that spiritual awareness is available, but understand spiritual awareness differently. But it might be that alienation can only be solved for by developing spiritual awareness within community, and that might involve the shared worship of the same deity. If enough people discover Mariatheos as their Divine Mother, they could experience each other as sisters and brothers. They would all experience being loved by their Divine Mother Mariatheos, and therefore would be able to have high level love for each other. Although such a community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos does not yet exist, and might seem not possible, it could only be possible if some people experience enough transformation of their limited patterns of personal awareness. This possibility is an interim goal for our mostly personal purgatorial awareness development. Thus hope is balanced by realism. Our alienation indicates limited capacity for community. We are on our individual spiritual paths and will remain mostly alone until we arrive at the community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos reveals reality as matriarchal.

Matriarchal community is a goal of this matriarchal religion. There is a vision for very different patterns of participation in community. It is obvious that people resist being in such a community. It is obvious that people resist full spiritual awareness from Matriarchal religion.

Although holiness seems an amorphous awareness and is often dismissed as either difficult or impossible to attain, upon reading or hearing the word : holiness, most people will have a little experience of the idea of holiness. There is reality to the idea of holiness even if it is only vaguely comprehended and assumed to be unattainable. Although some spiritual paths offer the possibility of attainment of holiness, most people are either not able or unwilling to follow those spiritual paths. Although the choice of following a spiritual path is a mystery, it is because one experiences something very compelling while on that path that motivates focus and attention to that spiritual path. In other words it's not really about the future but about inspiration in the moment that confirms our commitment to any spiritual path.

So it is experiencing, even if intermittent, love and life from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos that motivates us to accept our journey of discovery; which is our day to day awareness development. However some spiritual understanding of purgatorial awareness development can be helpful even though experience of confusion, frustration, distress and even despair is not avoidable. Realizations, insight, grace, and even transcendence are also not avoidable! So our purgatorial pilgrimage contains a wide range of patterns of awareness and it is not necessarily obvious that we are making progress on our journey or even that there is a greater purpose for our being on our spiritual path, which is the path of our life.

Although many people know Divine Mother, almost no one knows

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Because there is no community of Mariatheos in the world, there is very little knowledge of the community of Mariatheos in the spiritual realm. Because we live in the world, without much representation of knowledge of the spiritual realms in our world, it is difficult to have much experience of spiritual reality. So although many other spiritual communities exist in the world; and they have relatively full experience of spiritual awareness; for some not understood purpose this different set of awareness of spiritual reality (awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos) barely exists in the world.

Probably because the church of Mariatheos teaches that celibacy is best, most people will reject the church of Mariatheos. Unfortunately this is so. It is a very difficult attachment to accept emptiness of. Ironically many women might have trouble accepting this realization. So the church of Mariatheos is not feminist but it definitely is not patriarchal. But it does belong further in the future because it can not be accepted by many people today. So it is going to be easier for those who are a failure in the world of sexual intimacy to accept Mariatheos! It is easier to accept slow gradual purgatorial decrease of attachment to sexual intimacy for those not engaged within the realm. So yes, it is a hellish realm but many will not realize that. The church can teach that, but few people will accept the teaching. So how do people realize this? Much experience in purgatorial awareness development. However children who are born into hell are going to search for a way out. Perhaps they are given dysfunctionality that decreases their ability to participate fully in the hell of the world. Now although many people think sexual intimacy is sanctified by marriage; only some can prevent the failure of their marriage. So after enough failure people accept a de facto celibacy; this makes it possible to accept the decrease of attachment to marriage, romantic relationship, and sexual intimacy. So it is very possible for many people to eventually accept celibacy. Because the church of Mariatheos teaches the value of celibacy and specifically does not offer marriage as sanctification of sexual intimacy but only procreation as sanctification of sexual intimacy, for those who don't anticipate marriage they might be able to accept the teaching of the church of Mariatheos. So the church of Mariatheos is Not going to change this teaching but plenty of people could ignore it and still worship Mariatheos.

If people are lost, they are in purgatorial awareness development.

To be crude: people leave the Christian church or their parents left it. They are dumped into the chaos of secular culture and perhaps also spiritual culture. They wander around and by both choice and fate they explore, engage, participate, in a diversity of cultural and spiritual cultural awareness.

Upon hearing or reading just the words:

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, or

Mariatheos Divine Mother of All Life and Divine Love,

Someone might experience a little spiritual awareness from Her!

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos can evoke some awareness of being available to be trusted; so a little experience of prayer is revealed!

Just over a century ago women gained the right to vote in the United States of America. At some point women gained the right to vote in other nations. Now it is inconceivable that only men would have the right to vote. There are a lot of other changes that have developed over the past century that have decreased the patriarchal aspects of society. Most people would find the patriarchal nature of society over a century ago intolerable and incredible. We have a tremendous bias towards the assumption that our experience of contemporary society is what is normal. However society changes over time. So it is difficult to imagine how society might evolve especially over many decades. What are just ideas at this point might be adopted by community in the future. What today seems like a fantasy might be close to lived reality in the future. In other words what is impossible at this time might be possible at some time many years from now.

Marriage has been an ideal for a long while. It has been an important social pattern of relationship for a long time. Yet any understanding of marriage must take into account both the psychology of individuals and the larger social and cultural context of marriage from community and society. So the ideal is often very different from the lived reality of marriage by millions of different people; yet the ideal is partly motivation for people to be married. Disillusionment with both the ideal and lived experience can allow people to reject marriage as either desirable or even possible. Although many people avoid either marriage or informal domestic partnership, and many mothers do not live with the father of their children, most people have judged anything other than the two parent family as unfortunate and as less than ideal.

The church of Mariatheos communicates an alternative ideal for family: the matriarchal household. Not all women of a matriarchal household would have to be mothers. But all in the household would be contributing to the love and care of each other and of their children. However the matriarchal household would not be possible without both Matriarchal religion and matriarchal community, which would include men. Since all of this is just an ideal, it is not known if this is possible. It is not even known if a church of Mariatheos is possible in the world.

Because purgatory is continual, that realization yields hopelessness; ironically hopelessness facilitates acceptance of emptiness. Sometimes emptiness allows the experience of grace; but realization that purgatorial awareness development is continual, allows acceptance that experiential grace will at some time dissipate.

Although the future is not known, there is usually some awareness of the future which has great influence on our awareness in the moment. Usually there is some expectation of the continuation of patterns from the past into the future. However everything gradually changes. Some patterns change more than others but because everything has relationship with other patterns which have relationship with other patterns, everything at least slightly changes, and thus the totality of everything evolves with time.

Conversely any pattern or small set of patterns is limited in the extent of their evolution by the limitations of the totality of everything. Specifically a community from Mariatheos, inspired by Our Divine Mother Mariatheos can not develop faster or grow larger than what is possible given the limitations of the world; as both a community of awareness and participation. However patterns of awareness can evolve faster than patterns of participation.

Mariatheos will become known by other people. Millions of people are on some degree of spiritual search and some people might eventually discover Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Although very few people know of the possibility of awareness of Mariatheos, many people have some awareness of their Divine Mother. Thus many people already have some spiritual awareness from Mariatheos. So it is not crucial for people to know Divine Mother as Mariatheos. Awareness from Mariatheos will grow slowly over years. Faith is possible but only very little knowledge of the future is possible.

It can not be known if there will develop a community of awareness from Mariatheos. There is a lot of alternative spiritual communication available for people to explore and most people might have no motivation to engage with any of the communication about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Yet there could be much purpose for this communication about Mariatheos.

So the opportunity that the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos offers is a set of alternative stories that might generate alternative awareness for you. Especially the Myths about Mariatheos as Mother of all life and Divine love need no proof for you to believe in Her. There is no historical evidence for the Myths of Her Divine Incarnation and Her Motherhood of Maria Magdalena and Jesus Christ; they can be believed as extremely powerful Myth that can generate intense personal awareness of spiritual reality and spiritual life and love. Ironically we can rely on post modern understanding of language and narrative and story as justification for belief without any need for evidence in the historical record. We can have the modern sophistication to fully embrace the intense wisdom and spiritual awareness of folk religion. In fact if the religion of Mariatheos develops in the world probably it will look much like a folk religion.

Because the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos fully exists in the spiritual realm but not yet in our world, the church of Mariatheos is a great mystery. It seems that the church does not exist. However anyone who gains some awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos contributes to the slow gradual growth of the community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in the world.

The value of celibacy is a subjective determination. However as more people become disillusioned with sexual intimacy, perhaps the more people will accept myth that supports that subjective realization. Thus the myths from the spiritual church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos support this realization. If people don't have this subjective value determination obviously they will reject the church of Mariatheos and its myths. They will have different myths.

Myth is more subjective than objective. It doesn't matter how much evidence, argument, complex theory support the myth, it is adopted because it fits our awareness of reality. Even if much if not most of our awareness is from the community we are in, everyone has subjective knowledge of reality. Thus the myth of a community indicates shared subjective awareness.

Although it seems preposterous to offer a new religion of Mariatheos, and it is easily dismissed by people, after a half century of spiritual search and contemplation it seems to me that this religion of Mariatheos is the basis for very deep spiritual awareness of spiritual reality. Obviously there are many other ways to develop spiritual awareness of spiritual reality. However many people are on spiritual search for ways to discover deeper spiritual awareness. Unfortunately spiritual paths do not stop relentless purgatorial awareness development that often includes some degree of suffering. So it is easy to dismiss the value of any spiritual path because the benefits are not obvious. Yet mysterious motivation for spiritual search is persistent for some people and hope for spiritual grace might be persistent even if experienced rarely. So please do not entirely dismiss the possibility of experiencing for even a moment Eternal and Universal (and yet personal) Life and Love from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

As thin threads of understanding prove a failure in comprehending reality, there appears awareness of vast mystery of reality. This great mystery includes the mystery of who you are.

The Titanic is slowly sinking.

Time to get in the life boats.

Unfortunately not everyone will find a lifeboat.

All of the comforts and luxuries of the great ship must be given up.

All of the distress and uncertainty of waiting for a rescue ship is not avoidable. When we eventually get to a place where we can rebuild our lives, how that develops might be very different than what they were before.

The mountain of grief that we all have our back to controls us every moment, but almost always without our understanding. Like in an old fashioned theater a large painted canvas background hung from above hides the grief with an interior or exterior scene that is a convincing image that is not real. Everyone acts as if the theater is reality and if you tire of the play you become an outcast wandering around lost because the endless series of drama and comedy is seemingly all that anyone knows. But the mountain of grief is still there and if you're not in the play it is harder to hide from. But it is not possible to become much aware of what is really existential grief without help. Because the miracle is that it is possible to have awareness transcendent of existential grief. Call it existential grace. This is the spiritual path where moments of realization solve for the larger persistence of any degree of distress. This alternation of some sort of grace and some sort of distress develops perhaps not understood but ongoing indefinitely.

So it seems like everyone rejects awareness of Mariatheos. But resistance to awareness from Mariatheos can slowly decrease. Who doesn't really want to experience Love from the Source of their life? However unfortunately the distance from our normal patterns of awareness of life and such exalted spiritual awareness of life, is huge. That distance is not traveled easily or quickly. Yet the pilgrimage to Divine Love from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos might not be a conscious choice.

It is unclear what this pilgrimage to life in heaven requires of us.

It is very clear that we live in a purgatorial realm, and it is not certain that we are on pilgrimage to anywhere better. Thus any faith that we have is vulnerable to ridicule. Ironically we might suffer more grief if we compare our life in purgatory to the hope of life in a more heavenly realm. Cynicism can protect us from any grief from hope. So hope has to sneak in when our normal certainty about how life is grows weak for some reason. This is the unwanted development of emptiness. Our normal patterns of awareness fail to be self sustaining because some levels of distress become intolerable and we have to give up. We have to give up habitual patterns of awareness for some moments and then we realize that we still exist, we still have awareness but it is temporarily empty of the familiar. There are other ways that we become open to emptiness. Perhaps boredom or new patterns of circumstance from traveling.

So there is no way to prove that Our Divine Mother exists. Any language that states that the Original Source of All Life can be known as Our Divine Mother, can more easily be dismissed than accepted. We have to have some experience to confirm that something in language is true. It is our experience of life that affirms any description as true. Otherwise something in language could be ignored, dismissed, judged as false, or just not understood.

However even if not experienced, something in language might neither be accepted or rejected, but considered possible to be true. And it is possible that eventually someone gains experience that to some degree affirms the truth of something they previously did not accept as true.

Metaphorically a scout goes into the wilderness and discovers a path. The path enables others to travel through the wilderness. Eventually a path can become a road and travel is faster, more people can make the journey.

Humanity persists no matter what happens. Recovery from past crisis indicates humanity is more successful than at times seems apparent to some people.

Because humanity persists for decades and centuries, it is not possible to know how it evolves in the future. But necessarily antecedents, even if obscure, must all exist before growth of evolving patterns. Thus this seemingly futile evangelism for the church of Mariatheos.

The Church of Mariatheos will be from holy spirit from Mariatheos in the purgatorial awareness development of other people.

This is necessarily over time. This necessarily includes much awareness development that does not immediately reveal Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

There is nothing that false self in the world can hope for. A community of Mariatheos is discongruent with false self in the world awareness.

No one wants to be in intense purgatorial spiritual awareness development.

Thus it is not a choice. The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is a map. But walking on the path is not a choice. One is in purgatorial awareness without choice or much understanding; different maps are available but people search for the map that seems it will be most useful. But even their finding a different map is not their choice.

So it seems like everyone rejects awareness of Mariatheos. But resistance to awareness from Mariatheos can slowly decrease. Who doesn't really want to experience Love from the Source of their life? However unfortunately the distance from our normal patterns of awareness of life and such exalted spiritual awareness of life, is huge. That distance is not traveled easily or quickly. Yet the pilgrimage to Divine Love from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos might not be a conscious choice.

Awareness from Mariatheos is the highest spiritual awareness possible. This explains why awareness of Mariatheos is scarce.

This seems to mean it is futile to hope for much awareness from Mariatheos. But other slightly lower awareness is more possible. Thus everyone is on their purgatorial journey to awareness of Mariatheos. The Book implicitly states that slightly lower level spiritual awareness from Our Divine Mother and Our Divine Mother Maria is more available. The large churches of Mariatheos that develop in some stories are pentacostal in nature; suggesting that elevated perhaps ecstatic spiritual awareness of Mariatheos is possible especially at worship but that experience is not ones normal awareness. In other words cycles of spiritual experience allow moments of high level spiritual awareness but most moments will be at lower levels of awareness. And probably some difficult purgatorial experience must be tolerated.

People's ignorance of the necessary contributions to their life does not affect the reality of life and their life in the world. But their patterns of thought might easily ignore reality. Even behavior might ignore reality. Attitudes and assumptions might be to some extent false. But mercy to only some degree can compensate for ignorance and false awareness. But mercy can be withdrawn to force understanding of what is false.

So it seems to common awareness that the world has so much religion and spiritual communities already that the world does not need the church of Mariatheos. Metaphorically it certainly seemed 140 years ago that the world didn't need the airplane or the automobile or the radio or the motion picture.100 years ago the world didn't need television or computers. So the world is fine the way it is but it changes if there is opportunity to do so and some motivation for it, which is not necessarily need but want. People might want to experience love from their Divine Mother if there is opportunity to do so and if they have the capacity. Unfortunately a major contribution to such capacity is disillusionment, extensive disillusionment with existing religion, spiritual community, culture, available patterns of participation, etc. However total disillusionment might not be necessary for some capacity for spiritual awareness from Mariatheos. It might be necessary to have some capacity for spiritual awareness from Mariatheos before further disillusionment is possible.

It seems probable that the average level of disillusionment increases in the future. To be crude the more that people are unhappy with the world the more they will be open to what is beyond the world. Doreen Virtue shows that disillusionment with alternative spirituality might be significant. Disillusionment with Christianity is definitely significant. Even though she had conversion to christianity perhaps not all who are disillusioned with alternative spirituality can accept christianity. So many people might be in spiritual search. So it is possible that some people could discover some spiritual awareness from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

So is the Book prophetic?

Although the future is not known, problems and decay in society are obvious.

What can not be known is will anyone adopt any of the solutions provided by the Book? Unfortunately only when everything else has been recognized as not providing enough of a contribution. Disillusionment with:

The world

Society

Sub cultures within society

The Christian church

Other alternative spiritual culture

One's self

Relationships

Marriage and family

It is possible that such general disillusionment exists for some people.

But more importantly than what might be pushing some people into acceptance of some spiritual cultural awareness from the spiritual church of Mariatheos is what awareness is pulling them towards Mariatheos, and that is awareness from Mariatheos. Love! Life!

Thus even a little capacity for Her Love and Life will contribute motivation to be on the path to Mariatheos. So the Book does portray such awareness. The Book is not ones purgatorial path which is very difficult. The Book helps inspire one to be on that path.

Mariatheos is the Divine Mother of both

Maria Magdalena and Jesus the Christ

Divine Sister and Divine Brother

Divine Daughter and Divine Son

This new myth better portrays mystic awareness available from the tradition.

Some people will resist adoption of this interpretation because they resist detachment from the romantic and erotic awareness many people have that is idealized in the more popular awareness of the Myth of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. However because the spiritual church of Mariatheos rejects marriage as an ideal (but not as a pragmatic domestic partnership in society) we don't need to have any romantic notion about this Great Myth.

Seemingly futile missionary work mostly is for the spiritual formation of the missionary. Awareness from the spiritual church is relied on during the almost continual rejection from other people. Thus the missionary is almost continually rejecting contextual awareness from other people, from the world.

But once in a while someone gains a contribution from the communication of the missionary. Not necessarily conversion, but some awareness from the spiritual awareness community of the missionary. Some people might gain some spiritual awareness from the communication. So humility accepts the seemingly very limited contribution of the communication. The missionary might be entirely inward focused on their spiritual awareness, and if that is limited, then on their purgatorial journey of awareness development.

Unfortunately the world goes on with all of its conflicts and decay. But journalism has focus on conflict and decay. Life in the world is massive and persistent. It doesn't really matter what political conflict exists. It doesn't much matter what the leadership of governments are. Growth and decay coexist. Births and deaths both occur millions of times a year. Children grow into adults and adults become older. Humanity is massive. 8 billion people are a huge number of people. Conversely each individual is relatively very very small.

Now, although millions of people experience some love from Divine Mother Maria (Mary), mostly their religious awareness is of Christ and even Yahweh (Jehovah) as higher in the spiritual hierarchy than Mother of Jesus Christ. For them, Jesus Christ is superior to His Mother.

Thus a religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is substantially different. The religious awareness of a person is very important because community awareness is religious, it is awareness that is common to groups of people.

The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos remains mostly unknown. So how will it become more known? The book is really an aspect of the not yet in the world church of Mariatheos. If people discover Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and gain some spiritual awareness from Her, then and only then is there the beginning of the church of Mariatheos in the world.

Unfortunately false but persistent self in the world awareness must decrease to the extent that spiritual contextual awareness increases. It should be obvious that common awareness of the self and of the world, including other people, blocks and limits spiritual awareness. So spiritual language can not help, except when common awareness decays.

Spiritual awareness of Mariatheos is unique. It is different from other communication of Our Divine Mother especially the Christian. Although everything else has purpose, there is unique purpose for communication which comes from the spiritual community from Mariatheos. So far almost no one uses the name Mariatheos to refer to Our Divine Mother. Some people know their Divine Mother as the highest deity. Many people have spiritual awareness from Jesus or the Divine Father that is equal to or superior to the Divine Mother. Also many people have much spiritual awareness from Maria Magdalene who is in union with Jesus Christ. So most people who have spiritual awareness of their Divine Mother do not think of Her as God.

However the church of Mariatheos explicitly states the superiority of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as Original Source of Life and Divine Love. Jesus is created by Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and is both in union with and distinct from Mariatheos. Maria Magdalene is the Divine Daughter from Mariatheos and is in union with both Mariatheos and Jesus but without any human projection of Eros or romantic love. Thus the church of Mariatheos incorporates much myth from the Christian tradition but recreates a new myth that supports this new and still evolving religious awareness from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

So...after starting with the statements:

Original Source of all Life can be known as Divine Mother and

Divine Mother can be known as Mariatheos,

everything else flows from those axiomatic understandings.

In this religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos every other understanding conforms to these presuppositions accepted because of deep intuition that they are true. It helps to realise that every other system of knowledge also has presuppositions that are accepted as true because they are self evident. Argument and justification does not necessarily prove any axiomatic understanding is accepted by any other means than faith. But faith can be very powerful conviction of the truth of what is understood to be real.

Decay is often an opportunity for change.

Sometimes people discover different opportunities for both participation and awareness. Different kinds of awareness can be discovered if past patterns of awareness decrease. Most important is contextual awareness which is the set of awareness from which people know who they are and have some knowledge of reality. So contextual awareness contains various assumptions and attitudes that are deeply emotional and even foundational. The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos communicates different contextual awareness from what are more common patterns of contextual awareness. So although most people do not have the capacity to accept new contextual awareness from the Book, eventually they might, after enough purgatorial experience they might be more open to the spiritual church of Mariatheos and contextual awareness communicated by the Book.

Acceptance of emptiness is resisted by the self that will become incrementally empty. So because the Book communicates the necessity for emptiness, the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will be resisted. However patterns of awareness decay from a multitude of forces, and eventually one might seek resolution of the experience of distress by some degree of acceptance of emptiness of those patterns of awareness.

A major contributing force to the decay of patterns of self awareness and awareness of one's circumstances is the decay of community. The decay of communities happens over generations. In other words people participate in patterns of decay and growth that are of society. The awareness of being an individual is primarily from the decay of community awareness. Although the organization and institution are functional forms of community and readily incorporate individuals. However the individual can still suffer from lack of community. Various churches and spiritual communities can to some degree compensate.

Everyday life is purgatorial and is about the slow gradual decrease of habitual, persistent, and common self in the world patterns of awareness. Dysfunctionality, failure, or the disappointment in attaining desired goals, does not necessarily decrease common awareness. It is the increase of spiritual awareness coexistent with dysfunctionality or failure that allows acceptance of the loss of common self in the world patterns of awareness.

Insights About Mariatheos: Part 2

Although millions of people have spiritual and religious awareness, there are many people who are still to some degree on spiritual search. Although the path of discovery of Mariatheos is very obscure and difficult; some people might find the path and tentatively follow it. Although everyone's spiritual path is personal, to some degree there can be spiritual community awareness also. Most probably spiritual community awareness from Mariatheos might be more mystical than expressed within participation in a community of Mariatheos in the world.

Because the world is not yet ready to accept awareness from Mariatheos or accept community inspired by holy spirit from Mariatheos, individual spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos not only is possible, individual awareness development is the only modality of spiritual awareness from Mariatheos possible in the world for years. How many years before a community of Mariatheos is possible in the world is unknowable.

Ultimately the same source that wrote the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is the same source of others spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos! Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is the Source of all communication from Mariatheos both directly within people and indirectly via spiritual culture especially the Book.

old vagabond has been just an instrument necessary for communication of the Book into the world.

Common awareness observes rejection of Mariatheos in the world. But from the perspective of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, time is an aspect of evolution. Because true religious awareness is comprehensive, both personal and community awareness from holy spirit from Mariatheos must become comprehensive. Unfortunately that is purgatorial and therefore takes much time.

Thus the Book is a map, it is not the path. The path of the development of the church of Mariatheos in the world is a very obscure path that almost no one is on. Many people will not know that they are on the path of the church of Mariatheos. It can not be known who is on the path of Mariatheos.

The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is huge.

No one will be able to read the whole book in the same way that they would read most books. Most probably someone would read some of it at a time probably over a long period of time, maybe years. So it's not really about the Book, spiritual purpose is for each person to develop more spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos over time. Which unavoidably will be purgatorial.

Mariatheos is a distinct Deity.

In other words Mariatheos is way beyond anyone's experience or awareness of Her. This is not yet apparent because one way for people to have awareness of their Deity as being beyond their knowledge is if different people in community worship the same Deity. It becomes real to those people that because they all have different awareness as individuals but the same awareness as a community, their Deity has reality beyond any of them.

Thus until there is community awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, there will be not much religious experience of Mariatheos. A religion requires community. Metaphorically it requires an orchestra to perform a symphony.

Although one person can create beautiful music on one instrument, that is not the same as an orchestra playing a symphony.

So because Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is Deity different than other Deities (even those known as Divine Mother), a community that worships Mariatheos will be a different spiritual awareness community than other communities; not better, but distinct and different; unique.

The coexistence of different Deities in the spiritual realms is not directly known but can be inferred by observation of the human realms of religion, spiritual community and spiritual culture. The secular assumption is to only consider what is observable and dismiss what is impossible to observe. But if we accept the reality of the spiritual realms even if we can experience little, it is inescapable that the vast reality of the spiritual world contains at least all that corresponds to the vast complex diversity of religious and spiritual culture and community in the world.

Humility allows one to accept the relatively limited spiritual cultural awareness of their own spiritual path and not dismiss the huge diversity of spiritual cultural knowledge of others.

At the time of this writing, it is impossible to know how a community of awareness from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will develop in the world. Such spiritual awareness might have so little adoption by people in the world that any communication about it might seem futile.

The religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is different from awareness common to most people in the world. The gift of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is not easily recognized as possible to be experienced. In fact such awareness might be impossible to be experienced unless one has previously experienced such a depth of emptiness of habitual patterns of awareness that the unusual gift of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos can be received.

Spiritual and religious awareness is both personal and of community. However if there develops a growing divergence between the religious awareness of many of the people in a church community and the awareness of the clergy and of the church as an organization or institution, there will develop a decline in support of the community for the institutional church and perhaps a decline in participation. This development has become obvious in many Christian churches in many nations. Because of this ongoing decline of Christian churches, alternative spirituality has been growing in participation and new expressions of spiritual and religious awareness have been communicated.

An individual has diverse patterns of awareness but mostly they have some degree of integration. Although it might not be self evident to someone, their personal set of patterns of awareness is inherently limited. So it is difficult to possess patterns of awareness that are much in conflict; if possible someone will reject patterns of awareness that conflict with what they already know and understand.

After the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos was posted on blogspot, it was not possible to know if people were reading any of it beyond the introduction. Because the introduction states that the purpose of the Book is to contribute to people in their discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, it is unlikely that many people would read more from the Book if they dismiss the possibility of discovery of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

The problem is that common awareness is tenacious but unavoidably decays. Reality relentlessly but gradually breaks down resistance to awareness of ignorance and powerlessness. Thus if someone is to discover Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as greater than their self and world awareness, then it will be necessary to lose much of their self in the world awareness and experience. However humility can recontextualize most individual participation and experience so that it might appear to be similar as before conversion, but it loses its self centered orientation. Awareness of reality as contextual of the individual is extremely different from usual self centric awareness. Participation of an individual might not change much but their new awareness of reality might at least slightly alter the quality of their participation with others. However any preconceptions about how people would relate to others after spiritual conversion might be false. People are not necessarily obviously nicer or kinder; for such attitudes and behavior are often motivated by codependent personal awareness which is really self centered. Being self centered is Not a choice. It is an unavoidable result of growing up in dysfunctional family and community and in society which to various degrees is limited, oppressive, exploitative, ignorant, mechanistic, and unnurturing. In other words society is severely limited in wisdom and spiritual awareness and compassion. Unfortunately there is no simple solution to the problems of the world. Thus the individual can at best transcend the limitations of common awareness in the world and discover reality greater than the world.

Although there are thousands of different spiritual paths what is being offered in these writings is the path that leads to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. At the time of this writing it is primarily an individual path of discovery; it is not yet a path of community, except in the spiritual realms.

So to be blunt, the church of Mariatheos is not about understanding, the church of Mariatheos is about having faith in Mariatheos as creator of reality, eternal life and universal love. Common awareness rejects faith in any Deity and any path of gaining faith.

If the individual has learned enough about different understandings of reality held by different people, they might eventually conclude that it is impossible to understand reality. In other words not only is it not possible for them to understand reality, but they begin to conclude that no one else does. That at best some people have some awareness of reality but it will be limited.

So it is wisdom that knows understanding is either not possible or very limited. To give up on futile attempts to understand reality allows one to accept faith and to know that faith is much more valuable than understanding, which could be unknowingly false anyway. People might have skepticism about faith; but experientially faith can solve for distress when other attempts to find solutions fail.

There is little possibility of much acceptance of the church of Mariatheos in the world. However the world is changing mostly in not known ways. Some have limited but new understanding of what is changing. However all the new understandings even if seemingly contradictory, discongruent, diverse, unrelated, mostly unknown beyond some relatively small number of people; these different communities of awareness coexist and contribute to the evolution of the world.

It seems like other religion and spiritual cultural awareness should be more than enough for people in their development of spiritual awareness; and it seems like the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is neither necessary nor wanted by people. However unknown spiritual forces created the Book; old vagabond was a necessary instrument but it should be obvious that he was not causal of the Book being created. Thus the Book has not observable spiritual origin and purpose. Only if someone has faith would they accept that the not observable spiritual realm is causal of the Book and has purpose for the Book being in the world. Even if it seems that no one is interested in the Book. But perhaps years in the future it might be evident that some people are interested in the Book.

Although the growth of spiritual cultural awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will be very slow and totally obscure, that growth has not understood purpose. Unfortunately growth of new patterns of awareness corresponds to decay of older patterns of awareness. Older patterns of awareness usually have been integrated into patterns of participation. Thus the decay of awareness patterns is often from the decay of patterns of participation; usually without the choice of people in participation. Decay could be in families, organizations, institutions, communities, societies.

Sometimes some people to some extent are forced into eschatological spiritual awareness; because society contains so much decay. In fact mostly people in society just live with a massive amount of decay. However evidently people are able to live in a society with much decay. Ironically the capacity to participate requires various patterns of codependency. People are dependent on others and intuitively know what is required. Thus even if having various limitations, patterns of participation exist. But they might decay at some time, might end at some time. In modern society for most people participation within institutions and organizations is feasible. It might be a little easier than interpersonal relationships. To a large degree people ignore each other for electronic device mediated communication and cultural participation.

Although it is possible to have a little understanding of the purpose of a growing community of awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos developing in the world; because it is totally obscure and growth is so slow, it is easy for common self in the world awareness to completely dismiss it as nothing, totally unimportant, foolish and futile.

Purgatorial awareness development seems to have much distress and discomfort and depression; grace seems relatively little. However grace allows suffering to be mostly tolerable and survivable; even if not understood; even if purpose is not known.

Thus unfortunately many people are in their purgatorial awareness development and their suffering is not avoidable. Discovery of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos by people does not yet produce a joyous church in worship and celebration. What exists is an unknown purgatorial pilgrimage for people not yet in community.

Because the spiritual church of Mariatheos is transcendent of the world, yet it is within the world to a very small degree, the world will be far from the utopian vision of the spiritual church of Mariatheos.

Only very gradually is it possible for humanity to progress towards utopia. However some faith in that progress contributes to toleration of living in the world as it is with not much evidence of such progress.

Implicitly the revelation of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos contains much from Christianity; Mariatheos includes Her Son! But Who Her Son is is not much known. Thus any awareness of Jesus Christ within the spiritual awareness community from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is to some extent different from the awareness of most Christians. The future church of Mariatheos includes some continuity of spiritual awareness from Christianity; the future Church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is evolutionary.

Because many people have to some degree limited trust in clergy to tell them how to think, if they choose to follow the clergy of a church, they might at some point reject their authority. Specifically adults who have had much immersion in alternative spiritual culture might at some point embrace Christianity. However they don't necessarily loose their autonomy of awareness even if they are fully Christian for some years. Thus some of them might continue on spiritual search if at some point they begin to suspect that Christianity has some limitations that yield some persistent dissatisfaction.

Thus since everything has some degree of spiritual causality and much more so for spiritual communities, and even more so for spiritual community creation that is evolutionary; the creation of the church of Mariatheos in society is almost completely from spiritual cultural creation; in other words from the spiritual church of Mariatheos.

It is impossible to separate all the interrelated aspects of the patterns of life of people in society. It is not possible to understand much and it is often not possible to change much; because many times all of those interrelated patterns restrict any specific pattern from changing much. Conversely because life in the world is dynamic, many patterns of life in society can change much. So it is a mystery as to what can not change and what can not avoid changing. It might be a mistake to assume that the individual is causal of their patterns of life in society; whether those patterns are changing or staying the same. However change might be either of growth or decay.

The church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos does not exist in the world. Implied is that the church will exist in the future. If this is so, then the development of the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is going to greatly influence and perhaps determine the path of development of each person who has some awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

If one accepts their unavoidable vast ignorance about reality, then what might be revealed is the great mystery of reality. If one is aware of the great mystery, then one might accept that their own existence is a great mystery. In spite of having many stories and understanding about their own existence, one might realize beyond all of that is much more that is not known and not understood. If one accepts that reality and their own existence is mostly not known or understood, then faith is experienced. Not necessarily faith in any belief system but faith in reality and existence. However people need some metaphorical representation of faith. Thus what is observable about any religion is joined with the inherent mystery within any religion. Thus to argue against any system of metaphorical representation of great mystery is futile.

Because we are in the middle of a huge evolution of society, not much is known about society as it is now. Society contains a huge diverse multiplicity of individuals, communities, and especially cultural communication. It is a common tendency to mistake one's very limited understanding of society for comprehensive knowledge about society. Because all these different understandings of society conflict, either one more forcefully defends one's understanding or one begins to accept their ignorance.

The church of Mariatheos develops in the future.

It doesn't exist in the world at this time. It mostly exists just in stories. But unlike most stories, the awareness portrayed in the stories of the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is potentially available to people beyond what they experience while reading the Book.

People could possibly pray to Mariatheos in their day to day lives.

Prayer is beyond just the awareness communicated by a book even if the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos makes a contribution to people in their development of capacity for prayer to Mariatheos Mother of eternal life and divine love.

So the not yet in the world church of Mariatheos is more important than just the Book.

Hope for an utopian vision of community is joined with unhappiness with community as it is. However this unhappiness must decrease if one is to avoid too much depression and even bitterness towards the people in community as it is. The solution is to cultivate compassion for the severe limitations both of oneself and others. Usually compassion requires transcendent awareness. This is how religious awareness can have both an utopian vision and some acceptance of the world in its vast limitations. Purely normal human awareness seldom has this capacity for both compassion and transcendence.

So the facts on the ground are sufficient evidence that marriage and two parent families are not possible for most people in spite of how much advice, opinion, judgement, moralizing, etc. there is about marriage and family.

The religion of Mariatheos does not offer a solution for marriage and family but a critique of marriage and two parent families. However at this time the ideal of a matriarchal household as a solution for family is both not available and not known if it is possible. Implied is that the church of Mariatheos supports people in rejecting having families until the church of Mariatheos has grown much larger and deeper in supporting the attainment of holiness by people in the community of Mariatheos. However more traditional communities with larger extended families are much more nurturing for children than the small relatively limited families found in more technologically economically advanced nations.

In other words at this time of decay of archaic patterns of community but before the evolution of community closer to the utopian, avoidance of family formation is appropriate for some people in these times. Obviously people have children in less than ideal circumstances. However understanding the reality of society at this time; one might expect limitations to the experience of life in family and in community. Hence one can not avoid both personal purgatorial awareness development and community or collective purgatorial awareness development in society as it is.

The conflict of two very different worldviews can not easily be solved for by synthesis. The result of conflict is decay. Experientially the solution to decay is awareness of emptiness. Into emptiness might develop awareness of new patterns of awareness that transcend conflicting worldviews. Thus revelation is not necessarily synthesis of limited sets of awareness and understanding. Revelation often includes elements of past diverse sets of awareness and understanding. However Revelation is from creation, from mysterious sources of creation.

Although the future is not known, recent trends can be projected onto our awareness of the future with no certainty but some unknown degree of possibility or perhaps probability. One interesting recent trend is an increase in young people experiencing conversion to traditional Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy. Although still only a relatively small portion of young people, it might indicate that the very long trend of increasing secular awareness in society might have slowed and might possibly reverse. However alternative spirituality is also in growth. But that includes a great diversity that could be changing continually but is difficult to know much about.

So the church of Mariatheos enters the vast diverse realm of alternative spirituality without any gathering of people that would be recognizable as a church. At this time church just indicates people who have some spiritual awareness from Mariatheos. However who they are and what awareness they have is impossible to know.

The church of Mariatheos exists in the future. So the church only exists as language today. But eventually, probably unknown years from now, many more people will have so much spiritual awareness from Mariatheos that some will gather together in community. It will be communities of people who form churches.

There are different communities of awareness in society. The more they are in conflict with each other the more that society is experiencing decay of whatever amount of integration of communities of awareness that society has had.

The spiritual church of Mariatheos is responsible for its spiritual (within people's awareness) communication. Obviously spiritual cultural communication is a necessary aspect; but it is not as important as moments of direct experience, awareness, realizations, transcendent experience, and especially any experience of Mariatheos (as contextual awareness).

Unfortunately the awareness community of Mariatheos in the world is not observable. Often all that is available are limitations to having spiritual experience from holy spirit from Mariatheos. Only experience in the moment is observable. But usually not much understood. Unfortunately purgatorial awareness development is continual. Thus experientially what is most often the context of our awareness of life is purgatory. Both heaven and hell are aspects of awareness development in purgatory.

Observable historical changes take many years of not observable participation by those inspired by a vision of change in the world. Important, vision is given to people; both as individuals and communities. To an unknown extent in the world there already is some community spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. However it is not observable and thus it seems like there is no awareness community from Mariatheos in the world.

At this time the religion of Mariatheos is not easily adopted. But a few people might be on the difficult path to discovery of awareness from holy spirit from Mariatheos. Unfortunately the purgatorial path is difficult. It is especially difficult if human communities are to be crude, deeply in hell. This is because the decadent phase of the evolution of societal civilization contains more alienation, conflict of awareness communities, decay of cooperation in community, and an increase of individualism. These are all widespread social forces and individuals are relatively powerless. Ironically individuals who are relatively without connection to community might be more open and even motivated to discover their own personal development of spiritual awareness. Thus engagement with diverse obscure spiritual culture is more probable during the decadent phase of societal evolution.

Society has been changing fast and furious. So it will continue to change rapidly and relentlessly. Ideology might change slower than the facts on the ground. Ideology contains mythic and mystic awareness patterns. In other words Spiritual awareness. So people have different kinds of spiritual awareness and there are different kinds of spiritual communities in the world.

It is possible that others will discover and adopt spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

Although not observable, spiritual reality is causal of human spiritual awareness and religious awareness.

Thus spiritual culture is created by Spiritual Cultural Realms; some people become open to communication from those realms. But the development of spiritual cultural awareness communities are also from those spiritual realms.

All religions coexist and evolve in relation to each other and societies in the world. The not known spiritual church of Mariatheos is communicating to people both directly within their awareness and indirectly via the spiritual cultural communication available in the world that is about the religion of Mariatheos. In the world traditional religion is slightly declining and hopefully religious awareness of Mariatheos will slowly grow. Even if that growth is little in the world and only a little spiritual awareness of Mariatheos develops within others. And that growth is almost entirely not observable.

An advantage that the protestant churches have is diversity and no pretense of universal agreement. The Catholic church has an uneasy coexistence of diversity and pretense of unity. How this works out in the world is only observable year by year. But more importantly differently in different societies. To be crude, it doesn't matter. Some communities of awareness are inside the very very large institutional church that allows various kinds of autonomy for expression of different spiritual awareness, and some communities of spiritual awareness are outside of the institution of the Catholic Church.

Not everyone can follow the same religious path.

So the church of Mariatheos is a new path.

However it includes much from the older path of Marian Christianity. So the church of Mariatheos is in a way Marian Christianity. However Mariatheos is Original Source. However Christ is an aspect of Mariatheos. Jesus Christ is a manifestation of Christ. However Maria Magdalene is a manifestation of Christ. Mariatheos is Source of Christ!

Because it is not possible to know how awareness of Mariatheos increases in the world, only faith can have some awareness that Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is in communication with people in the world. However some people are affirming Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. The depth of their awareness of Mariatheos is not known, yet possibly their awareness of Mariatheos will develop and evolve.

After the full Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos had become available on blogspot in 2023, there was no way to know if anyone was reading any of it. Although free online it was not available as an e-book or printed book. So there was not a record of book sales that usually is used to judge the degree of success (or failure) of a book. In fact the purpose of the Book could not really be separate from the development of awareness by some people in the reality of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. The Book might only somewhat contribute to dispersed inchoate mysterious awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos that some people might have.

Although people focus on politics, much suffering is from either interpersonal relationships or alienation from other people.

Often there are no solutions to such chronic suffering.

What the possibility of awareness from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos offers is the displacement of the futile yearning, seeking, hoping for love from other people with the gradual purgatorial development of awareness of being loved by

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. If we have large enough capacity for Her Love, we can to some degree share Her Love with other people. However we must be careful not to be oppressed by people desperately seeking love from us. Thus it doesn't do much good to give other people love. This is a counter intuitive realization. The best we can do is show people the Source of Divine Love and teach them about their purgatorial path which contains suffering. In other words a church community is limited in the amount of charity that they can give. False assumptions about what a spiritual community is can make the formation of a cooperative spiritual community impossible.

To be very blunt: If it is prophetic that society will evolve so that there is growth of egalitarian matriarchal communities, then it would have been necessary for the decay of what were before perhaps more stable patterns of community. However those patterns included so much coercion, oppression, and exploitation (both of people and the environment) that they were inherently unstable. Forces of change are in hindsight inevitable. However it is obvious that not much is stable today and thus further change is inevitable.

The decadent phase of society is not avoidable. Mostly because people don't have alternatives or do not desire alternatives or can not comprehend alternatives to all of the diverse patterns of awareness and participation that are mostly unknowingly decadent.

Thus decadence is not usually recognized until persistent recurring suffering forces people to accept the loss of patterns of awareness or participation that they formerly assumed were ways to experience life, perhaps to most fully experience life.

Religion is faith.

It is a representation and reminder of faith.

Religion does not provide answers to all questions.

Religion allows acceptance of Mystery.

Religion allows us to live without understanding everything.

Religion facilitates faith.

Faith accepts ignorance.

Yet faith provides the wisdom to discern false certainty.

Somehow just starting from two axiomatic awareness patterns:

Original Source of All Reality can be known as Our Divine Mother,

Our Divine Mother can be known as Mariatheos,

flows forth all of the different patterns of awareness and understanding that can be discovered in the:

Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Because the religion of Mariatheos is so different from most people's awareness, people will mostly reject it. People will only start to accept it if, to be crude, there is no better alternative; if they have not yet discovered a set of comprehensive spiritual cultural awareness and understanding that they can accept. Most probably the most that some people will be able to accept is only incremental or partial acceptance of the religion of Mariatheos. However over years and decades it is possible that more people might more fully accept Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and Her religion.

The Book is eschatological, but not obviously so.

The Book communicates a very radical set of utopian/spiritual/religious/social and cultural community awareness. So because it is only awareness being communicated and not yet any opportunity for participation in the world beyond reading or listening, it seems entirely inconsequential.

But because decay in the world is relentless, the world can not provide satisfying comprehensive community awareness. Thus people to some extent experience decay in the world, perhaps in their circumstantial world, or probably their experiential world. Decay as contextual awareness motivates search for help. There are many diverse offerings of help. But some people become disillusioned; their suffering persists. So the Book is unique in that it has much recognition of the persistence of suffering and yet offers an alternative contextual awareness that is transcendent of the world that contains suffering. There are other spiritual teachings that offer the same kind of knowledge. The differences are what gives the Book unknown purpose. One difference is the kind of high spiritual awareness that is possible for someone to experience at least a little. Heaven is potentially experiential in an unique way. Yet only if more people discover Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will it be evident that this unique communication of spiritual knowledge has any importance for others.

Because of how much time it takes for conversion to new spiritual awareness, people are not necessarily going to acknowledge their process of conversion. A book is not a church service; and actually only some protestant churches have an opportunity for a demonstration of personal conversion during the church service. A book can a little bit at a time be read. Contemplation develops incrementally; true conversion develops incrementally and slowly, gradually, and even tentatively. Thus true conversion is uncertain.

Humility solves for most problems.

Humility accepts how very small each individual is in the world.

Humility accepts whatever limitations that the person has, and does not expect to escape from the common limitations or suffering most people in the world experience...however,

Humility being relatively free from frustration that comes from false expectations, allows people to experience life as it is, which might include the joy of life.

Being somewhere in the very long transition from patriarchal civilization to matriarchal civilization requires evolutionary awareness to coexist with archaic awareness. We must exist within society as it is and at the same time hold awareness belonging to our future hopes for society. In other words we can have faith.

Mature eschatological awareness realizes and accepts the inevitable decay of extensive, complex and seemingly comprehensive patterns of societal awareness. At the same time we can have comprehensive awareness of utopian life in community from heaven. So what might seem to be unrealistic spiritual awareness is actually realistic awareness that society changes over time. Unfortunately change includes suffering and decay. Spiritual hope is not an expectation that life in the world is utopian; but a recognition of any pattern of life in the world that affirms life or is an expression of life, no matter how small or seemingly not important. Because the future is not known, it is possible to have hope for the evolution of community closer to the utopian.

Although conflict in the world might generate anxiety and uncertainty for people not directly involved in such conflicts, history is full of war and conflict. Humanity continues none the less. Anxiety and uncertainty motivate search for awareness beyond the troubled awareness of the world. Spiritual search can go on for years and decades.

Although we are powerless over the suffering of others in war zones, we who are relatively blessed with safety are none the less deeply affected. Uncertainty about the state of the world is to some degree just being conscious of how impossible it is to regard the world as being the ultimate causal reality. In other words although awareness of the world can be dominant, if in effect the world is god, we are in trouble. If we despair (without hope) in our awareness of the world, we can shift our focus to some awareness of causality beyond the world. What we can not observe in physical reality can become experienced as real. We rely on technology that incorporates invisible realms of physical reality all the time. That spiritual reality is invisible should not deter us from discovery of spiritual experience and especially spiritual grace that are potentially available.

A necessary but potentially frustrating type of spiritual awareness is eschatological. Popularly known as the end of the world as we know it. But the key words are: as we know it. Even though our awareness of the world is foundational within us, and it seems very real, it is possible for foundational awareness to change. If that does change substantially and at a foundational level, then we would enter a new realm of awareness of reality; we would have a new awareness of our selves in a new awareness of the world.

Usually the transition from a previous comprehensive awareness of reality to a new transformed awareness of reality is a difficult distressfull long purgatorial process. But because it is more about the world than of our self, we are going to be very aware of hell as well as some awareness of heaven. We are going to be very focused on the hellish aspects of the world and have utopian hopes for the future of the world. It doesn't matter if we are focused on spiritual culture or journalism, movies, books, video, it is all cultural communication. Our psyches can be immersed within such awareness and slowly unconsciously experience gradual transformation.

Insights About Mariatheos: Part 3

No one is beyond the situation of civilization at the time of their being alive in the world. With just a little recognition of reality, it would be obvious that at this point in history an incredible diversity of awareness and understanding of reality exists. In other words all of the at least partly conflicting sets of awareness coexist. This is so for all individual personal awareness and understanding, and also for all communities of awareness and understanding (shared and common within groups of people who may or may not know each other). To be crude society tolerates all the different critiques of society. Society is like an ecosystem; it is probable that no community of awareness and understanding has more than a little knowledge of what exists in society.

Although all of the available communication about Mariatheos might not seem relevant to people, perhaps some people might begin to recognize the limitations of much of the great diversity of existing spiritual cultural communication that they are aware of. A spiritual teaching must be comprehendible to people. If with time some people have evolved in their personal spiritual awareness, they might be able to comprehend new spiritual cultural communication. Perhaps in the future more people might be able to become aware of the spiritual reality of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Because so much within modern society is in decay many people experience much uncertainty. This can motivate some acceptance of awareness transcendent of the world. Obviously there is a great diversity of possible kinds of transcendent awareness. However sometimes a person finds a path of discovery that seems more valuable for them than other paths. Somehow all the spiritual paths coexist; but usually people can not walk on more than one path at the same time. Spiritual search can be a search for the path that is best for each individual. However after walking on one path for a while it is less likely one is still going to be engaged with different spiritual cultural teachings. One stage of spiritual search is over and the day to day walk reveals experience and awareness for the person moment to moment.

So because one's purgatorial path is endless, and experience of grace is recurring but seldom sustained, and experience of distress of various degrees of intensity is frequent, one's level of faith might not be at a desired level. Faith might not be very convincing even to oneself and even less so to others.

The spiritual church of Mariatheos is metaphorically an utopian city deep in the wilderness. Only a narrow hiking trail two hundred miles long goes through forests and mountains before it reaches the small city. No one in the world has ever been there. Although it would be very difficult to walk the path and it would take time and skill, strength, stamina, and the right supplies that could sustain the pilgrim for a month but not be too heavy to carry; there are some people who have made similar journeys into the wilderness for as long and survived. The reason no one who has the ability to make such a journey ever has done so is that no one wants to. Because some of the descriptions of the utopian community do not seem appealing to people. No one wants to go there. Because it would be such an arduous journey, it would be close to impossible to carry enough supplies for a trip back. Anyone who would make the journey would know that they were not coming back to the world. They would not want to after being in the heavenly community. But ironically people can not accept the prospect of rejecting the world no matter what bliss might await them.

The Book is not the path. People are going to be almost entirely in their purgatorial journey without necessarily engaged in spiritual cultural communication only at times useful for their purgatorial journey. Prayer doesn't need anything from outside of the person in prayer. Contemplation is the same, although hopefully this Book provides a little wisdom to help in contemplation.

Unfortunately what is only available now is personal spiritual awareness development and not yet participation in a community in the world fully inspired by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Thus we must accept our purgatorial path in the world as it is. However our path is not always difficult. There are times of relative grace. Although our path is endless our awareness does evolve. Perhaps in the future people will gather in community to support each other in their purgatorial journey. Which would be a joint pilgrimage to a more full awareness of being in spiritual community blessed by Our Divine Mother Mariatheos!

Understanding community awareness allows acceptance of the world as it is. People retreat into their community awareness in response to alienation. Conflict with other awareness communities is experienced with fear which generates hostility. Evidence is found to justify the hostility but the evidence is not the source of the fear. The fear is from resistance to experience of grief from alienation. Alienation is from decay of community including especially family. So it might seem that political worldviews are about the world; but the emotion is extremely personal.

The beginning of the story Spiritual School of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos portrays how Donna became disillusioned with both her job as pastor at an Episcopal church and with her Christian spiritual cultural personal awareness that was actually lacking in faith; and how she developed faith in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. But crucially the story has her having read the book a half year before personal experience of crisis forces her to quit her job as pastor and how after another 2 years she re-experiences personal crisis and remembers wisdom from the Book and then seriously reads the Book as a guide to her slow development of faith in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

This indicates that it will take years before any communication to the Episcopal church has any observable influence for anyone from the Episcopal church.

So it is not that the spiritual cultural awareness of the Episcopal church is false, it is that it is not able to be adopted by a community in growth. But actually much of their liberal spiritual cultural awareness is held by many people outside of the church. Especially academia and other cultural communication has similar awareness. However most people don't want the traditional Christian church culture that is joined with liberal cultural awareness within the Episcopal church. That tradition is not part of their cultural awareness. So the Episcopal church has community awareness that has declining adoption by people in society. Evangelical and Pentecostal churches have much more contemporary cultural expression joined with relatively conservative religious and inevitably political awareness and understanding. Liberal awareness has much cultural expression outside of the church. So the Episcopal church is archaic, it persists yet it is in decline. This is the reason that the church of Mariatheos is communicating to the Episcopal church. Although no one has yet adopted the spiritual cultural awareness of the church of Mariatheos, it is possible that some people will realize that the religion of Mariatheos is even more evolutionary than liberal Christian spiritual cultural awareness. Although the evolutionary is not possible now, awareness from what is evolutionary can provide great inspiration. And the growth of awareness that is evolutionary has spiritual power that slowly but inevitably displaces and transforms archaic community awareness.

Everyone has their different awareness of society. Although large tribes of similar awareness exist, most people are only to some degree going to be in agreement. Awareness of day to day life is going to be dominant for people and everyone has different circumstances and cultural awareness. Especially because of the internet each person has a different set of cultural communication that they engage with. So society can not be known in any degree of detail. Society is near infinite in the number of people and different sets of personal awareness.

So it is not really false to hold utopian awareness as superior to awareness of society. What is false is to expect or even much hope that society can become utopian. What is beneficial is to include your self within your community of utopian awareness but to recognize the necessity to participate in the world or society as it is. It is possible to accept society as it is if one excludes as much as possible awareness from society which seeks to include your self in their awareness communities. So although this can be a source of conflict, what develops is much necessary distancing of awareness of self from awareness of the world. If someone belongs to a spiritual community it is easier. So if someone does find a spiritual community that they can belong to, often their appreciation and dedication can be intense. Obviously others outside of that community would not comprehend that commitment. So suffering judgement and ridicule from others is not avoidable.

It might seem sad that Episcopal churches are closing. But all patterns of life in the world grow, persist, decay. The Evangelical and Pentecostal churches grew much over the past half century; the older traditional churches declined. However many of the traditional churches became very liberal in their spiritual cultural understanding especially of its leadership. These liberal cultural awareness patterns have some alienation from traditional Christian spiritual cultural awareness. This bifurcation of awareness is more possible at the intellectual level. But it weakens the spiritual cultural social awareness community of the church. Conservative Christians leave or do not join. Liberal educated young people don't necessarily need traditional Christianity especially the traditional music and liturgy of the church.

So how does the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos become real? It must first become contextual awareness. Which means it at least partially displaces other contextual awareness, especially awareness of society as contextual (causal). Thus the church of Mariatheos must necessarily be experienced as spiritual community awareness that to some degree absorbs awareness of self. To some extent this awareness is mystical. Thus some mystical awareness is necessary, and can be experienced via spiritual cultural communication. This is the purpose of all of the communication available about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Hopefully some people will experience at least some of the Mystery of the spiritual church of Mariatheos.

So what could happen?

Maybe several people will start to pray to Mariatheos!

Especially people who don't have too much secular contextual awareness or traditional religion. In other words people who are on spiritual search or are open to spiritual discovery. People are very diverse in their patterns of awareness and in their patterns of spiritual awareness development. Thus it is possible that for some small number of people, they could discover the path of development of spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Not everyone will totally dismiss the church of Mariatheos because it is a difficult path. But it could offer something that someone might chose if nothing else seems to work. Because there is nothing to do, nothing to participate in. The church of Mariatheos is just about personal awareness development, personal purgatorial spiritual awareness development. Thus the mystery is how everything in one's life, awareness and participation and circumstance, contributes to one's awareness development that recurringly reveals grace and even at times experience of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Although it might seem that the way of the religion of Mariatheos is too difficult to accept, and obviously millions of people are on other spiritual paths, some people can become discouraged on their path and perhaps become disillusioned to some degree with their spiritual awareness community. It is possible that some people on spiritual search might discover some communication from the church of Mariatheos. The church of Mariatheos claims that the path of discovery of Mariatheos is purgatorial. It is stated a lot and even more important it explains that people have deep or even foundational patterns of awareness that must decrease, must incrementally become empty, before it is possible to have some experience of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. So it is possible that some people have accepted that their awareness development is unavoidably purgatorial and might consider communication from the church of Mariatheos could be a contribution to their personal spiritual path.

What is evolutionary is mostly known in hindsight. People can look back at how changes in society developed and recognize what was evolutionary in the past. However many of those with an alternative and perhaps utopian awareness of community or society may hope that their vision is evolutionary. This is certainly true for the church of Mariatheos. The future may reveal that almost nothing from communication about Mariatheos has been adopted by anyone. Or it is possible some of the communication will make some contribution to some awareness communities in the future. Or perhaps maybe the communication will inspire actual communities to develop that have much spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos! At the time of this writing it is impossible to know.

Utopian awareness is awareness of possible alternatives to society as it is now. It doesn't matter if the utopian is unattainable, it can inspire smaller possible changes to participation in community. And utopian awareness can displace awareness of society. Thus one can become independent from society at least to some degree within one's personal awareness. Awareness of decay within society does not have to be as distressing if one has utopian awareness that seems superior to awareness of society. If one knows the source of utopia is spiritual reality, then this is eschatological spiritual awareness. So it doesn't matter if society persists in massive decay; eschatological spiritual awareness can be the focus of personal awareness. It is not necessary for society to become utopian in the world. However communities of utopian awareness contribute to the evolution of society. How this develops is not necessarily much understood or observable.

It just seems like the church of Mariatheos is futile. But ironically it takes eschatological spiritual awareness to realize that it is modern society that one can have transcendent awareness of. It doesn't matter that modern society is huge, massive, complex, and persistent. It can not persist in the same patterns. Every year it changes. It can not be known how it will change over decades and centuries. But it will not be the same.

Therefore the church of Mariatheos can contribute to eschatological spiritual awareness. Which can contribute to one having less dependency on the world for providing stable dependable supportive awareness. Having transcendent awareness allows some detachment from awareness of the world and thus some alternative spiritual personal awareness that is less vulnerable to the troubles of the world.

It is obvious that the evangelical churches grew at the expense of the traditional churches. Very ironically the clergy of the traditional churches became very liberal in their theology and in their Christian value system. They could not help but be caught up in the evolution of values especially by academic cultural awareness. Which claims moral high ground. It seems self evident, partly because the value and freedom of the individual seems obvious, but also because of knowledge of global diversity. Liberal educated cultural awareness has developed over many decades and centuries and seems to be an aspect of human progress. However in reaction conservative cultural awareness has evolved its own criticism of the elitism of liberal culture. The problem is that the elite culture of society is dysfunctional; it contains a massive amount of hypocrisy because it incorporates a value system of ideals that can not be much adopted by people in society. It has become a vast realm of awareness that is cultural but not social. The social realm is a vast hierarchy of mostly economic relationships and participation in institutions. The hypocrisy is that the liberal cultural awareness community is almost entirely language and cultural work. It is entirely bourgeois. It is a bourgeoisie that has incorporated the bohemian.

Although what seems to be the alternative to the limitations of liberalism is the restoration of conservative Christianity, that also has many limitations. By and large most young people can not accept it. What is less obvious is the great diversity of cultural worldviews that attempt to be comprehensive and therefore an alternative to either of the two dominant liberal and conservative worldviews which are not only in conflict within secular society, but are in conflict within the Christian churches. The alternatives might not seem important but it is possible that what evolves within society in the future might develop from what is today obscure.

It can not be observed how Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is becoming known by people in the world. People already have much religious awareness from Holy Spirit but within Christianity and other religious and spiritual awareness communities. The patterns of awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos will be different and to some extent similar. So the potential awareness community that could discover Our Divine Mother Mariatheos might include people who have partly deconstructed their Christianity but not completely and who began spiritual search after rejecting Christianity.

Most probably it will take a lot of purgatorial awareness development for more people to develop enough disillusionment with common ways to know reality, both society and the spiritual realm, before people will have capacity for much spiritual awareness of Mariatheos and the spiritual church of Mariatheos.

So it is not really about humanity. Religion of Mariatheos can not yet make humanity better because humanity can not yet accept religion of Mariatheos! Unfortunately revelation of and from Mariatheos must wait until many people have capacity for such revelation. Until then people will persist in a great diversity of awareness communities. Some people will engage with a succession of different sets of spiritual and religious awareness communities. Because an individual's psychological patterns of awareness correspond to their spiritual or religious patterns of awareness, both usually evolve over a lifetime.

The creation of community awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is from beyond the world but into the world. People are not causal of this evolution of community awareness. Very little can be understood as to how this develops. Obviously its development is totally obscure. Only when this spiritual awareness community from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos also becomes a community of participation will it become more observable. However a small community of participation is obscure to most people; only for its participants is the community important.

It can not be known how Holy Spirit from Mariatheos will develop the spiritual cultural path to Mariatheos through the contributions of others. Although people who discover any spiritual awareness of Mariatheos are part of the growth of diffuse awareness community from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, those who contribute more to the development of the community in the world are probably going to be people who have much focus of their awareness on religion and spirituality. Thus clergy have a calling to focus on their service to spiritual cultural and social religious community in the world. Thus the seemingly futile evangelism to the Episcopal church. Hopefully eventually some from the Episcopal church will contribute to the development of the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in the world. So it doesn't matter how many years it takes for someone to experience conversion. Even if in the beginning they think that is impossible. If any capacity exists for spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos that capacity could gradually, incrementally, slowly, increase.

At some point new patterns of life develop. The Source of creation of new complex integrated patterns of life is from beyond the world; this includes community.

Creation replaces decaying complex integrated patterns of life. Unfortunately much of our experience of life in the world is within the decay of community. We might not yet be fortunate to be participating in the creation of community.

Because the church of Mariatheos does not yet exist in the world, if it ever does develop in the world, it is not now possible to know what the church of Mariatheos will be. It is not possible to know when it might start to develop in the world. Until then there could be the growth of a diffuse awareness community from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos within people in the world. Such an awareness community is impossible to be known. Almost entirely the most that someone can know is their own personal spiritual awareness of Mariatheos; because there is not yet a community that expresses a shared awareness of Mariatheos.

Thus Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is communicating to the Episcopal church in a seemingly futile effort of evangelism. However because any spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos that develops within the personal awareness of someone in the Episcopal church would be to some degree in conflict with their dominant awareness from their participation in their church, they might not welcome such spiritual awareness development. It might take a long time before the evolution of new religious awareness of Mariatheos grows large enough that it is fully accepted. Thus it is possible that over years some people will experience growth of religious awareness of Mariatheos while the Episcopal church continues to decline as a religious community. This does not necessarily mean they will develop a church of Mariatheos in the world; but they might contribute to the growth of spiritual awareness of Mariatheos in the world.

It is because the Episcopal church is at a high level of spiritual awareness, but it is archaic, and the church is in gradual decay, those in the Episcopal church might be to some degree on spiritual search; not necessarily for their personal awareness, but for their community awareness. Because partly they already have gone beyond the limitations of traditional Christianity and accept the diversity of human spiritual community. But as a church community they accept the patterns of traditional Christian community. This enlightened traditionalism allows the persistence of the traditional church but satisfies the modern understanding of diversity in the world and the equality of different communities in the world. But pragmatically the church community persists as a privileged community. Partly that is because the traditional church culture is difficult for those outside of the community to accept. Thus the hypocrisy of the communication of acceptance of diversity coexisting with a relatively exclusive church community is implicit to others who feel alienated from such churches. It also indicates how these churches can not change and seem unable to reverse their gradual decline.

Because many people need to experience spiritual awareness but they can not experience spiritual awareness as an aspect of community, they are probably going to experience spiritual awareness as an aspect of their self. Unfortunately this can allow much false confusion of spiritual awareness and self awareness. Because mostly such false awareness conflicts with reality, many such people are going to experience some suffering . This might force some acceptance of the limitations of their spiritual awareness and their self awareness. However spiritual awareness is inherently valuable, provides a necessary alternative to much false community and societal awareness, and can affirm awareness of life. Thus even if it seems obvious how some patterns of cultural spiritual awareness are false, because they are often a necessary part of spiritual awareness development, they will persist. However the great diversity of cultural communication of spiritual awareness contributes to the chaos and confusion people experience on their spiritual search.

Although a spiritual community in the world is helpful for a person having religion, it is not as necessary as it might seem. To some degree the protestant stress on the Bible being all that is necessary to support religious faith indicates that for many people it is very possible to have faith without participation in a religious community in the world. A community of religious awareness can rely on religious communication that inspires people to have focus on a shared way to know spiritual reality, especially the same Deity. Hopefully communication about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will inspire a growing community awareness of Mariatheos.

Although society is full of different sets of awareness that to some degree conflict with each other, no one can know more than a little of the vast diversity of sets of awareness. Each person has their unique and necessarily limited set of awareness.

However there can be some development or evolution of a person's awareness. This is also true for communities of awareness. Although society is beyond any person's ability to know, society as an aggregate of numerous different sets of awareness also evolves over time.

Although at this time almost no one has accepted Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as their Deity Whom they worship and pray to, many other people worship God as Mother or pray to a Deity who is Divine Mother, or pray to their Divine Mother without necessarily regarding Her as god or as a deity. There is a lot of similar spiritual awareness of many people who might have slightly different spiritual understandings.

Although it is possible almost no one will accept Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as their focus of prayer, it is still possible that more people will discover some sort of spiritual awareness that includes some spiritual awareness of the Divine Mother. So it is probable that the religious and spiritual awareness of people already has and will continue to evolve in ways that are significantly different from the spiritual and religious awareness more dominant in the past.

Because at the core of the religion is all encompassing spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos; there is no duality of male and female gods. Less obvious there is no duality of Eros and common awareness, because mostly eros just is a form of common awareness. There is duality of Life and Void, but Mariatheos is Mother of All Life, and thus All Divine Love! Divine Love is from Original Source of Life no matter which Deity reveals Divine Love. Although it is possible for sexual intimacy to be within Divine Love, almost all sexual intimacy in the world is void of Divine Love. However people do not accept that. The problem is that unless one realizes the lack of Divine Love in sexual intimacy, it is not possible to accept celibacy as a virtue, and instead celibacy is felt to be a limitation; and for many people the false assumption is that it is a severe limitation. So it is not possible to convince those who don't believe celibacy is liberation from suffering unless suffering has taught them that, or they have the innocence to be repulsed by sexual intimacy and perceive it as a violation of their awareness of life.

Usually it is almost indistinguishable experientially the difference between religious awareness and community awareness within a church. Although many Christians have religious awareness without belonging to a church or their experience of going to a church has some degree of alienation from the church community. However the immersive experience of being in church can give intense spiritual experience. Thus both the blessings and the limitations of their community awareness are joined. It is those limitations that some people eventually reject and unfortunately might lose some of the blessings of belonging. Some completely lose their religion and some retain some religious awareness.

Unfortunately the religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos does not yet have church community in which people can experience spiritual religious awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. It is more difficult to attain such awareness totally reliant on individual personal awareness. However because unfortunately the limitations of a church community are impossible to separate from the blessings of belonging to a church community, the development of a church community from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos must wait until it is possible for such a community to exist with relatively few limitations. At least a community with enough potential to evolve and grow into deeper intensity of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. In other words humility would be necessary so that awareness of limitations could be realized as the community evolves and is open to incremental transformation.

It is exactly that we who rely on Mariatheos don't need to have responsibility for our spiritual awareness development, that ensures that what we have is religion. Most of alternative spirituality is not religion, in that the person must be responsible for their spiritual awareness development. They might probably be learning from spiritual teachers, but those teachers have developed their spiritual awareness from their own experience. In other words there is usually some self that is responsible even if some acknowledge the help of spirit guides. So what we have is religion in that we don't have to take responsibility for our spiritual awareness development. Seemingly many people who have some kind of alternative spirituality have much life affirming spiritual awareness; they don't need religion. In other words they do not rely on unknown spiritual reality to give them grace, they are not dependent on not much known spiritual reality to give them awareness of life. They are not dependent on Deity.

Because probably most alternative spirituality is not religion, the church of Mariatheos has more in common with various Christian churches than it does with much of alternative spirituality. Although the church of Mariatheos is definitely alternative to the Christian church, there is much recognition of spiritual reality communicated and experienced within the different Christian churches. Thus the Christian church will persist. The growth of alternative spirituality is not sufficient to displace the Christian church. In fact many people who become disillusioned with alternative spirituality rediscover the Christian church as a solution to their spiritual search; even as many people become disillusioned with their experience in their Christian church and engage in spiritual search within the great diversity of alternative spirituality.

Although it might seem presumptuous to claim that there is an emerging religion from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, only much time will reveal if a community of Mariatheos develops in the world. No matter how small a community, it would coexist among thousands of new religious movements, as the religious studies departments in academia understand them. So at this time it is reasonable to doubt the claim that an emerging religion from Mariatheos actually exists.

If we accept our ignorance about the world, but have just enough knowledge so that we can dismiss other people's claim to have knowledge and understanding that is probably to some degree false; we can accept that only not known spiritual mind knows the world. We can have faith in not known spiritual mind responsible for the world because we are wise enough to know that people in their ignorance can not be responsible. Some people might have numerous ideas about human responsibility for the world but conflict between people prevents almost any of those ideas from being adopted. Somehow human societies in spite of their limitations allow human life to exist and evolve in the world. Faith does not need to understand much about spiritual reality which is causal of observed reality in the world.

Although trying to understand the world is futile, it is possible to accept that the world contains an almost infinite number of patterns of participation and awareness that people have; 8 billion people. So it is wisdom to know that it is impossible to know more than very little about the world and impossible to understand more than very very little; and whatever understanding one has might be to some degree false.

Although the vision of community from the church of Mariatheos would solve for the failure of family in society; that vision might be very difficult to develop in the world. It would require a very substantial existence of the church of Mariatheos in the world at the heart of a substantial community of Mariatheos in the world.

Thus that which does not yet exist can not solve for the limitations of community in the world today. So at best it will take time before the church of Mariatheos develops in the world.

Unfortunately every day life is purgatorial. Recurring often distressful experience pushes one into incremental acceptance of emptiness (decrease) of patterns of self in the world awareness, much of which is deeply habitual.

The amount of truth in any metaphorical description of spiritual truth can not be known. Spiritual truth is primarily experienced within personal awareness and community awareness. So there is almost no objective way to know the awareness of a different individual or a community that one doesn't participate within. There is little way of observing in the world the spiritual awareness of other people. Ironically any awareness of others' spiritual awareness is difficult to disentangle from one's own subjective personal and community awareness. Unfortunately the only knowledge that is close to being objective is secular knowledge. But secular knowledge about what is in effect the subjective experience of people is probably going to be false. So it is unavoidable that spiritual awareness and experience is a mystery.

Because the evolution of human societies is continual, but because society is incredibly complex and vast, we can not even guess how societies will develop. The further in the future most probably the more that will change. However cultural communication can be about hope, and hope for how society might evolve. So ironically the more audacious the portrayal of the possible future development of humanity, the less seeming relevance to society as it is. This is specifically so for communication about the religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. It is preposterous exactly because it's patterns of awareness are so different from those intrinsic to human society as it is now. Most probably spiritual awareness about Mariatheos will be rejected by most people in all societies of the world today even though they are very different from each other. In many ways all human societies have some similar limitations. However some societies might have different potential opportunities for evolution than others.

Thus although patterns of life in the world change, whatever persists and whatever changes can be accepted as continual but changing patterns of life in the world.

Not only can there be faith in the source of life, there can be acceptance of source of patterns of life. Source of life can be known as Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Source of patterns of life can not be known. However, if people accept as their purpose the growth of community from Mariatheos in the world, then they can have faith in the spiritual community of Mariatheos as source of growth of community of Mariatheos in the world.

So even if almost no one reads the Book,

or even if almost no one prays to Mariatheos,

Many people know of the name Mariatheos!

Some might remember having read the name Mariatheos ? years from now; and

Some might search for language about Mariatheos in the future.

Some might pray to Mariatheos in the future.

So because awareness of Mariatheos is so very totally absolutely obscure; it seems as if it doesn't exist. But really much larger sets of communication of spiritual culture are very much totally obscure to most people. Even churches (denominations) of millions of people are barely known by other millions of people. Even most nations are totally obscure to most people in the world. Vast ignorance of that which is beyond personal knowledge is unavoidable. Thus mind beyond the world is responsible or causal or knowing of this vast diverse humanity. Although it is possible to understand the limitations of other sets of contextual awareness and understanding, all of them obviously exist and not obviously have purpose that might be to some degree different from the way that community of awareness understands its own purpose.

Although it is possible to be a Christian and fully experience holy spirit from original source, ironically the success of Christianity limits its development. It has gradually declined in some parts of the world and becomes archaic in much of its manifestation as diverse Christian churches. Arguably Christianity is most vibrant in Africa where it is most recent historically and in the Pentecostal churches which are also relatively recent historically.

Yet the decline of many Christian communities has corresponded with the growth of secular awareness communities and alternative spiritual awareness communities.

But it still is difficult for many Christians to accept that Christianity is not ultimately universal, in the sense of that it would be best if Everyone was Christian.

Original Source of Life somehow is joined with all patterns so that there is unity that is mostly not observable. We can know Original Source as Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, and Mariatheos is source of the ultimate unity of all patterns.

So Mariatheos is ultimately (not necessarily directly) source of the patterns of the world. So the development of a church of Mariatheos is both interrelated with the patterns of the world and separate from the patterns of the world. In other words the Church of Mariatheos develops slowly and gradually; the community of awareness and participation belonging to Mariatheos must evolve in the world both limited by the constraints of the world and transcendent of the world.

Insights About Mariatheos: Part 4

Unfortunately because the church of Mariatheos is so evolutionary it will not be accepted by more than a small amount of people for an unknown amount of time. It is unknown how the growth of the church of Mariatheos will develop. Most probably as an awareness community for many years before any communities of participation develop. As this is being written it is impossible to know almost anything about those future communities of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

So we don't know the future. Because there is enough communication from enough different people describing their sometimes detailed foreboding about different possible changes or disruptions to the status quo, many people in society might have some recognition that there is little certainty about the future. Although many people probably have some anxiety about the future it is possible that some people have some hope, or both. However any hope for more utopian communities to develop in the future must recognize that would require that much must decay in order for the growth of what is hoped for. However the decay of dominant communities of awareness is not the same as the decay of pragmatic patterns of participation. Arguably the separation of awareness communities from communities of participation is a potentially beneficial aspect of modern society. Conflicts of awareness communities can hopefully be contained mostly within the realms of cultural communication. Eventually communities of participation can coalesce from the growth of awareness communities formerly mostly known primarily by cultural communication. Perhaps this will be so for the growth and development of the church of Mariatheos. Probably for many years spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will be limited to cultural communication before any community of participation develops that would be closer to what have been commonly known as churches in the world.

Because society has much of communities of awareness in decay, and there is little understanding that those patterns of awareness are archaic and thus in decay, there is metaphorically much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, because those patterns of awareness are deeply emotional and even foundational to people's experience of reality. Because the church of Mariatheos provides contextual awareness which is so radical and different from all of the existing large awareness communities that are suffering from decay, the spiritual awareness community of the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is not subject to those forces of decay. However obviously the church of Mariatheos is not accepted by more than a few people in the world; so it seems as if the church of Mariatheos is not a substantial community of awareness in the world. The church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos belongs to the future. Perhaps after enough people become disillusioned with most of the existing awareness communities both spiritual and secular, they will be more open to the radical and different spiritual cultural awareness of the church of Mariatheos. What exists in the future must have antecedents that exist now, no matter how obscure and small, no matter how seemingly inconsequential. So the audacity of communication about the church of Mariatheos can only be justified by faith. Faith in the development of the slow gradual obscure growth of the awareness community from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos needs little evidence from the world.

Abundant available communication about Mariatheos portrays the outlines of comprehensive contextual awareness; in other words the possible set of awareness that includes the context for most personal experience of psyche, self, the world, spirituality, deity, original source, reality, etc. Although the communication about Mariatheos offers this, most people will reject and dismiss the offer. The only way that someone would begin to fully engage with the available communication about Mariatheos is if they experience some mysterious inspiration for doing so. The validity of the language must be affirmed by the inward spiritual experience of the person engaging with it. Thus for some huge mysterious purpose only some people will have capacity for inspiration from the spiritual church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Because communication about Mariatheos does not at all solve for one's experience of being in continual purgatory, purgatory is contextual awareness. So there is little to do but observe both awareness and participation as anything is experienced. Perhaps it is necessary to accept that the Buddhist aspect of the church of Mariatheos is greater than the Marian aspect, experientially. But they both interrelate; both aspects are important; to be crude acceptance of emptiness is mostly resisted and experience of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is mostly less than is hoped for.

Unfortunately a lot of spiritual cultural communication is overly optimistic. Few people want to listen to or read communication about how long and difficult our spiritual path is nor how our every day moment to moment awareness no matter how limited, frustrating, uncomfortable, and so on, is indistinguishable from our spiritual path. Few people want to give up on the false hope that somehow someday everything will be wonderful. Ironically we can in moments experience that everything is wonderful or have overwhelming awareness of divine grace; however because moments of high level spiritual experience dissipate in time, at some point we have to accept that our spiritual path is inevitably purgatorial and never ending.

Because the acceptance of emptiness is crucial for capacity for grace from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, yet resistance to acceptance of emptiness is habitual, distress is unfortunately what usually is necessary for personal awareness to shift from habitual patterns of self in world to acceptance of emptiness of habitual patterns of self in world awareness.

Unfortunately the amount of decay in society is and will continue to be vast; much too much to even fully know about and mostly impossible to reverse. Solving for massive decay for people in society is difficult or impossible. However coexistent with decay is growth. The most obvious is that some people die every year but some babies are born every year. Thus infants and children grow over the years and some adults suffer the decay of their health over some years, usually when they are older. If we can accept that the great diversity of patterns of growth and decay both exist at all times, then perhaps we can accept that in spite of our personal focus on some patterns and vast ignorance of others, we can have faith that beyond our understanding great causal forces have not known purpose.

Because emptiness is foundational for other kinds of spiritual awareness especially spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, we must accept that probably most of our spiritual awareness development will be the purgatorial decrease of resistance to acceptance of emptiness of our habitual patterns of awareness, especially of our self in the world. It might be valuable for some sort of discovery of religious language that portrays emptiness. Perhaps some spiritual cultural communication which portrays spiritual awareness of the Great Void.

The church of Mariatheos is not (yet) being communicated by a charismatic woman who gathers a group of people around her and establishes a church community that would grow and develop over time. So far the church of Mariatheos is being communicated by language that is easier to dismiss than to accept.

Because the church of Mariatheos requires an average level of holiness probably rare in the world, and it is probable that many other religious and spiritual communities in the world have some people with very high levels of holiness, it is not likely that anytime in the foreseeable future will there gather together the necessary people for a church of Mariatheos to develop in the world.

The future is not known. The future evolution of human societies can not be known. Thus any assumption that familiar patterns within society will persist without much change is most probably false. The past century has experienced much change much of which would not have been foreseen. Yet much can be understood as the continuation of trends that have existed for over a century. Although it is not possible to know what will evolve, it is possible that some very small trends in society now might grow much larger over the next several decades. Thus although hope is not necessarily an indicator of future developments, because the future will be very different from the present, it is false to assume that some hope for the future is impossible. In other words our assumptions about what is possible in the future might be limited by our awareness of the present and recent past.

Although life in the world is inherently purgatorial, some moments of grace are experienced. Unfortunately it is acceptance of emptiness which is usually most resisted. But it does not have to be as difficult if one's contextual community of awareness continually reminds one of the necessity to accept emptiness. This is what Buddhism does. Thus an evolving contextual spiritual cultural awareness community from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos must provide continual encouragement to accept emptiness. Otherwise there will not develop much capacity for the inflow of experiential Love from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

There are many aspects of, and there are diverse awareness communities within, the zeitgeist; and the zeitgeist evolves continually. Thus awareness communities that are evolutionary could grow over time and could develop over time. So although there is vast diversity, everything also changes over time. Thus perhaps in five years there might be more people who have some capacity for spiritual awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos than there are today. Thus if the total zeitgeist has no micro capacity for a spiritual awareness community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, then no one except its prophet can know Mariatheos. But perhaps in five years there is some micro capacity for a spiritual awareness community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos and a relatively small amount of people will know Mariatheos to some extent. Only Holy Spirit from Mariatheos knows how the awareness community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos will grow and develop in the future or how this awareness community interrelates with other awareness communities and with the larger evolving zeitgeist of the world.

The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is of no value to someone who is not on the path to Mariatheos. A physics book is of no value to someone who is not interested in physics. So how might some people start on the path to Mariatheos? The answer is that first they must know that there is available much communication about Mariatheos; second they must undergo crisis, probably prolonged crisis of uncertainty about their patterns of contextual awareness, so that they would be on spiritual search; then they must remember a little from past unsolicited communication about Mariatheos; then they must have some inspiration to engage with available communication about Mariatheos. If by engagement with communication about Mariatheos they sometimes experience some awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, they will probably from time to time continue. However being on the path to Mariatheos will be inherently purgatorial. So the gain in awareness of Mariatheos will be gradual, slow, and incremental. In other words their spiritual awareness development from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos might not be obvious either to their self or to other people.

People change gradually, they can explore new spiritual cultural awareness communities; they can start to walk on a new path, they can become less satisfied with engagement in various spiritual cultural awareness communities that were previously important in their personal awareness development. Spirit guides can nudge people onto new paths. This is usually a gradual process; dissatisfaction increases with previous engagement with specific spiritual cultural communication, and resistance to a new community of spiritual cultural awareness decreases, and capacity for inspiration from spiritual mind from the new spiritual cultural awareness community develops. Thus although it seems like as of yet there is almost no interest by people in engaging seriously with the spiritual cultural communication about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, this might slowly change over the years.

It seems like no one can experience enough spiritual awareness of Mariatheos so that they will believe in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. But that indicates that they have other spiritual or secular awareness, or both, that are contextual, that they believe represent causal reality. In order words we have some perhaps partly unconscious set of awareness and understanding of what is causal of our experience, existence, and even circumstance. Conversion to a new belief system is gradual and both an old and new way to comprehend reality coexist even if one system is in decay and the other is in growth.

Because awareness development is not much understood, but people often resist accepting their ignorance, they often adopt some system of understanding available. There is no shortage of different and often conflicting sets of understanding about different aspects of reality from which people can learn and perhaps accept as their own. There is always a non conceptual set of awareness that corresponds with any set of understanding. Thus the motivation for adopting any system of understanding could be unconscious. Because of how different sets of awareness and their corresponding understanding can conflict, sometimes people will argue with others who have a different set of awareness and understanding. Argument seldom changes anyone's mind; but those who are most eloquent in argument often find an appreciative audience or readership from those who already agree with them.

Since a person might sometimes realize that they don't know anything, all they really have is their moment to moment experience and limited awareness; however awareness evolves without being understood. So if someone can accept their unavoidable ignorance about anything and everything, they might have to experience existential fear and grief. They might experience a little of it, not necessarily much, certainly not all of it; but enough so that they could be aware of it. If then they experience their ability to witness existential grief they might experience emptiness. Emptiness is the experience of awareness without content in the moment of awareness. This is not sustainable, but it increases capacity for awareness development. Perhaps more experience of one's common self in the world patterns of awareness but perhaps with a little detachment; or perhaps some spiritual experience of Divine grace, life, or love. No matter what the content of awareness that enters what emptiness was experienced, faith in purpose for one's awareness development might faintly continue.

It is not known how the church, community of awareness, of Mariatheos develops in the world. Other awareness communities have some patterns of spiritual awareness similar to, or perhaps even common with, awareness of the church of Mariatheos; much awareness development in the world is evolutionary and perhaps corresponds with the unconscious development of the spiritual awareness community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Attachment to the world prevents attachment to the spiritual church of Mariatheos; but patterns of awareness of the world decay. Conflicting patterns of awareness of the world can not be resolved except by detachment from more general assumptions and attitudes of self in world awareness. This decrease of common patterns of awareness corresponds to increase in acceptance of emptiness of self in world patterns of awareness. This increase in emptiness is foundational to any increase in experience of grace, faith, presence of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, and service to the Church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Capacity for service can be limited because grace, faith and presence of Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, are all limited if foundational awareness of emptiness is limited. Although acceptance of emptiness of self in world patterns of awareness alternates with experience of faith, faith encourages acceptance of emptiness and acceptance of emptiness allows gaining faith; so they are both joined. There is some awareness of the necessity for accepting emptiness of self and world patterns of awareness within some Christian teaching, but because of reliance on the sacrifice of Jesus as the way to receive faith, the believer does not have to engage in contemplation and discover their capacity for acceptance of emptiness; although many of those more seriously religious will do so.

Unfortunately spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is very very much resisted. Specifically people resist chaste divine love. Often people resist traditional religion because they resist acceptance of pre marital celibacy. But because sexual intimacy is sanctified by the religious awareness of marriage, sexual desire motivates marriage even if there are many real limitations on the viability of many marriages and the families formed by those marriages. The myth that people rely on is that their love will triumph over all problems and limitations. The reality is that such families can survive problems and limitations; but survival is not necessarily joyful and life affirming; and often enough children grow up with significant limitations on their capacity to participate in the world or experience the joy of life. However most people can not imagine any other way of family formation. Thus a major alternative is just not having children. Which is an increasing pattern in the modern world in many nations throughout the world. Although some people regard low birth rates in their country with alarm, as an indicator of societal decline, there seems to be little that can change these trends.

Although there is a very brief portrayal of an alternative myth of Divine Incarnation within the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, it is possible for much more alternative myth to be created for the church of Mariatheos. Because myth communicates the spiritual awareness of a community of faith, perhaps over future years much more myth of Mariatheos, Her Son Jesus Christ, and Her Daughter Maria Magdalena will be created by others in the future community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

It is possible to accept society as it is, and yet be able to accept the evolutionary awareness of Mariatheos. Although it seems difficult to accept both, society is in continual development. Millions of patterns of life decay, many millions of patterns of life persist, millions of patterns of life grow. Life is both patterns of human awareness and patterns of participation. Life is every pattern of biological, natural, and physical existence. The future is almost entirely unknown. However some knowledge is possible. Ironically because of artificial intelligence, it is almost certain that much will continue to change that we can not foresee. It is possible, actually probable that many patterns of human life in the world will change. The past two centuries have demonstrated how much has changed that could not have been foreseen two centuries ago.

Thus it is possible to have faith in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, and yet accept ignorance of how community awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos will slowly and gradually develop in the world, probably in almost total obscurity for many years.

Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is source of life. If we can experience Her as our life we have some awareness of eternal and universal life. Whatever patterns of personal awareness of life we have are not as important as our eternal and universal life. Also we will have the humility necessary to accept how micro are our personal patterns of life relative to the infinite multiplicity and diversity of all other patterns of life.

Because our personal patterns interrelate with many other patterns of life, we should also be able to accept the patterns of our relationship to other people and groups of people without much focus on trying to change them; however some change is inevitable.

If The Christian religion was fully transformational, it does not seem that human history would have developed as it has. It is possible that Christianity has been partly transformational. Thus it is false to deny the spiritual power of Christianity, but perhaps it is false to claim that Christianity is the fullest manifestation of spiritual awareness possible. It might be very necessary for much evolution of religion. Because we can not ignore the widespread dissatisfaction with Christianity in the modern world but we can not ignore the millions of people with deep faith who are Christian. Although it might seem grandiose, the religion of Mariatheos claims to be an evolution of Christian religion. Only those who worship Mariatheos would agree with that claim. Even more suspicious is that claim because almost no one does worship Mariatheos, however many people do pray to Our Divine Mother and Mariatheos is just one way to know Our Divine Mother.

Although at the time of this writing no church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos exists in the world, it is possible that eventually churches of Mariatheos will develop in the world. Perhaps several decades after this is written. Since such churches will be created by the Holy Spirit from Mariatheos more than the people who create them in the world, only Holy Spirit from Mariatheos knows when or how they will develop.

Decay of patterns of community in the world yields fear. But fear doesn't change anything and neither does anger solve for decay. Unfortunately because self awareness is dependent on awareness of the world and specifically how the self participates in the world, decay in society can severely threaten our self awareness. But because we can not solve for decay in society the only available option is to accept changes in our self awareness. If these changes are deep enough, then it seems like the changes are caused by a source beyond our self. Thus enough awareness of crisis forces some sort of spiritual revelation. Usually spiritual awareness develops within some sort of religious or spiritual community's awareness, teaching, system of understanding, cultural portrayal of spiritual reality, etc. Obviously there are a great diversity of such spiritual or religious awareness communities. Often the gradual process of personal self awareness transformation coincides with search for the spiritual or religious awareness and understanding that seems most useful and acceptable to the individual on their purgatorial journey of personal awareness development.

Since personal and community awareness are very diverse, no individual or community can comprehend all of that great diversity. Although some of others awareness can be known, it is necessarily very little in reality. Although all of the diverse sets of awareness coexists, unavoidably there will be some degree of conflict, and unfortunately it is often the conflict with their own patterns of awareness that is what is most known by someone or some community.

Because the church of Mariatheos awareness community is so different from other awareness communities, there is the potential for much conflict. So it is wise to understand that all communities of awareness have purpose and it is not possible to argue anyone into agreement with one's own patterns of awareness and understanding. The Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos exists for those who have an inner motivation to engage with the unique spiritual cultural awareness of Mariatheos.

Unfortunately all that has decayed in society has been unavoidable. Although there is purpose to every pattern of decay, it is almost impossible for someone to accept patterns of decay that affect their self. It takes incredible humility to accept the decay, decrease, or disintegration of patterns of existence that one considers necessary. Usually distress and suffering are experienced as we resist that. However it is possible to eventually transcend our sometimes fierce attachment to what we have the assumption is necessary. Often cultural or spiritual cultural portrayal of the drama (which is sometimes communicated with humor) of attachment, suffering, detachment helps us in our awareness development which can generate new patterns of experience that we might have assumed were impossible.

Mostly unconsciously but very extensively our understanding of society is contextual for understanding our self in the world. Almost always our relationship to society is mediated by our relationship to various communities both of awareness and participation. So there is a vast mostly not much known web of patterns of awareness and participation that each of us is within. This explains how powerless we mostly are in society as well as how different we are from others. However within relative isolation and solitude we can experience patterns of awareness different from the usual; we can be in contemplation. Some patterns of awareness that appear within contemplation can be distressful, but at the same time we can have just enough capacity for detachment that we can discover our capacity for acceptance of emptiness. Emptiness is the foundational awareness from which other kinds of spiritual awareness can develop.

The future can not be known. However stories about the future can be numerous and diverse. Our participation in the present is influenced by what we believe is possible in the future. The church of Mariatheos has so much alternative awareness to that of the present precisely because the limitations of the present are so severe. Utopian awareness of the church of Mariatheos is alternative to awareness of society as it is. So it is possible to have pragmatic participation in society as it is and also have much utopian hope for the church of Mariatheos in the future. This utopian hope could displace much of the futile false hope that people engage in to compensate for the limitations of life in society as it is.

In general decadence has been an aspect of modern society every decade for the past century, so the level of decadence has been gradually increasing. Since everyone in society is affected by decadent awareness, it is futile to blame any specific people or group of people. So although it is possible if not probable that society can experience renewal, how that develops can not be known. The evolution of society incorporates much diversity of spiritual awareness. Many communities of spiritual awareness are obscure or barely understood. They are all contributing to the growth of people's awareness and participation in life.

Although many people are aware of the decay of community and that it is probably a major contribution to the increase of loneliness and alienation; there is little awareness and no consensus on how to create community. Many people might agree that the heart of a community is common spiritual awareness. However every existing religious and spiritual community could claim that they are sufficient for the creation of community. Even if this is so, the intensity of community might differ; and since many people don't belong to any spiritual community, they can not benefit from the various religious and spiritual communities that exist.

The claim that the Church of Mariatheos would be the heart of a community that would solve for alienation and loneliness seems especially difficult to assert because there is not yet a church of Mariatheos in the world. Yet because it is possible that the church of Mariatheos will exist in the future, the future church would be the heart of future communities of people. Although it is not possible to know if those communities are going to develop, it is possible to have hope that they will.

It might be a long time before the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos becomes known by more than a few people. Although the Book has much to offer people, the purpose of the Book is to contribute to those people who are slowly gaining spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. In other words people who are not in that process of awareness development are most probably not going to read much from the Book, probably at most just enough to realize that the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is not for them.

Because the development of spiritual awareness will bring changes in all kinds of patterns of awareness, we can not expect to gain the blessings of spiritual awareness without experiencing changes to so much of our habitual patterns of awareness that we will unavoidably resist those changes. The decay of that resistance is often experienced as suffering to some degree. Thus ironically it is mercy that limits the rate of gain of spiritual awareness. Rhetoric about spiritual awareness often misrepresents how slow and gradual incremental transformation of personal awareness is, and how purgatorial the process of spiritual awareness development is. Thus true religion not only doesn't over promise the benefits of the spiritual path being portrayed, true religion often doesn't much focus on the individual who is seeking new spiritual knowledge. Religion is about awareness of spiritual reality. Although spiritual language is mostly metaphorical, spiritual reality is beyond the language. This is especially true about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Her reality is beyond our limited experience of Her Reality, and beyond any and all spiritual language about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. So a paradox is that you can only know your experience of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos yet Her infinite reality is way beyond your experience. Religious communication about Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is only experienced if the individual has some capacity for such spiritual awareness. So there must be some teaching about how the individual can gain such capacity and yet the purgatorial development of capacity for spiritual awareness of Mariatheos is probably so slow, gradual and incremental that such capacity will remain limited. So the religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos can not promise anything to anyone. Unfortunately it is perhaps going to be perpetually frustrating that we will be limited in our spiritual experience of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Society is an ecosystem within the ecosystem of all of humanity.

Within the ecosystem of society different awareness communities coexist and conflict. The pragmatic can persist; even if catastrophe develops new pragmatic patterns quickly develop. What is pragmatic might not grow, because if cooperation is very limited, then the integration of societal purpose and the pragmatic doesn't develop. So it seems that over decades the diversity of awareness communities has purpose even if an integrated unified societal purpose doesn't exist.

To be blunt, the church of Mariatheos as a distinct awareness community needs the freedom that exists ironically because there has been much decay of consensus of societal awareness of reality. This decay has been persistent for many decades so many people can not imagine that consensus ever existed. But perhaps there is developing some limited agreement for the pragmatic coexistence of this diversity of communities of awareness of reality.

Because spiritual awareness is inseparable from psychological awareness, the development of spiritual awareness alters patterns of psychological awareness. Necessarily this must be gradual, slow, and incremental. Thus we must both accept our awareness patterns as they are and accept our awareness patterns will develop, change, and evolve mostly without our choice or even much understanding of what is happening to us.

Insights About Mariatheos: Part 5

It is extremely important that god is Mother and Not father. This difference is what makes Christianity archaic and the church of Mariatheos evolutionary. Thus the church of Mariatheos is extremely different from Christianity. However the church of Mariatheos is only somewhat different from Marian devotion; however it is very different when Marian devotion is understood to have a Christian context. So it is important that the church of Mariatheos separates Marian devotion from Christianity and elevates Marian devotion to worship of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos; Who is creator of all reality and all life.

So although the Episcopal church can decline at about 3% a year without much awareness of imminent crisis, some people might feel more recurring experience of crisis than others. The Myth of Fredonia portrays a church community in decline but then a foundational change that leads eventually to growth. That change is from Christianity to a new matriarchal religion. Implied is this is the change that should be accepted by the Episcopal church. It seems preposterous that they would do that. They would never consider it as an idea offered from anyone especially someone outside of the church. However if and only if some people from inside the church begin to experience conversion to the spiritual church of Mariatheos, they might advocate for such a change.

So only communication from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos will evolve the Episcopal church into the church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos! Thus the Episcopal church will evolve only by the power of the Holy Spirit Who reveals Mariatheos to enough of the community of the Episcopal church so they would communicate to the rest of the community the possibility of conversion to a new religion of Mariatheos.

Conversion to the church of Mariatheos is not a choice. But how that develops is that some people have no choice about how much incremental decrease of common patterns of awareness of self in the world develops over time. Not only can we not observe the conversion of other people, especially because it would be very slow, incremental, purgatorial, gradual; we can not observe the developments of spiritual awareness communities in the spiritual realms; we can not observe angels and Holy Spirit shift their patterns of communication with people within communities in the world. So conversion always has spiritual causality even as the development of people's spiritual cultural awareness takes convoluted patterns of change over time.

One purpose of the spiritual church of Mariatheos is to convert the Episcopal church to the church of Mariatheos. Thus there is purpose for the recurring mailing of copies of the Myth of Fredonia to Episcopal churches. Purpose is not necessarily limited to finding a few individuals who might be open to conversion to the emerging religion of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Since all church communities also exist in the eternal spiritual realms, it is possible that there is communication in the eternal spiritual realms between both the spiritual church community of Mariatheos and the spiritual community of the Episcopal church. What develops in the world in the future already has corresponding existence in the eternal spiritual realms. Faith is just the limited capacity of people in the world to have some knowledge of what exists in spiritual causal reality. Although there is no evidence of this spiritual development in the world, the recurring mailing of the Myth of Fredonia to Episcopal churches in the world indicates the beginning of the development of some awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos by people in the Episcopal church. Although such evolutionary spiritual awareness is perhaps very small within the Episcopal church community, the new awareness has the potential to grow larger over time.

The spiritual church of Mariatheos is a mystery. It is not known what it is or how it communicates into the world within the awareness of other people. Communication about Mariatheos, although totally obscure in the world, persists in the world, so to an unknown extent some people have some awareness about Mariatheos. Obviously the development of an awareness community of Mariatheos in the world will be resisted, dismissed, judged, and remain obscure.

It might seem foolish to mail copies of the Myth of Fredonia to Episcopal churches. But since the story contains a lot of potential awareness, someone could remember much from what they read, even years after it is received in the mail. Although it is impossible to know the awareness of not known other people who get a copy of the story, it is possible for someone to have some spiritual awareness potentially available from reading the Myth of Fredonia. And that spiritual awareness is potentially important, transformative, wonderful, eschatological, ecstatic, and a revelation of a new basis for human community and eventually society. Obviously people will have very limited awareness of this potential revelation; thus it will take time for such spiritual awareness to develop and grow for some fortunate people.

Unfortunately people in the world experience much suffering. Chronic suffering often motivates spiritual search. The possibility exists some people in Episcopal churches might be somewhat open to other spiritual cultural awareness because they have some level of disillusionment with what they already know. Important, A religion can have some vision of transformation of the world. In other words some eschatological awareness. Thus the obvious desire of people for a better world manifests in different communities of spiritual cultural awareness and understanding. Although the liberal Christian churches have their combination of spiritual, cultural and social patterns of awareness and understandings that contain some vision of an utopian future; the church of Mariatheos has a different set of utopian awareness and understanding. Utopian awareness is inherently eschatological. Implied in the communication from the church of Mariatheos is that the church of Mariatheos is more fully eschatological than the Christian church; and that the growth of the church of Mariatheos in the world will more contribute to an utopian future than the Christian churches have. Implied is that the church of Mariatheos is the evolution of the Christian church. Obviously this idea will be rejected by most people except perhaps for a few people who awaken to revelations from Angels and Holy Spirit from Mariatheos!

Metaphorically the purgatorial path to relatively full awareness of Mariatheos is a hiking trail a thousand miles long. Mailing a copy of the Myth of Fredonia to Episcopal churches communicates the opportunity for some people to start walking on this difficult path. It might seem very doubtful that anyone will be motivated to begin walking the path of discovery of Mariatheos. But life in the world is inescapably purgatorial, even if everything is going very well for years; because when well established awareness patterns of self participating in the world start to decay, the grief will be persistent, chronic, variable in degrees of intensity of suffering, and recurring, even if multiple distractions obscure the emerging existential crisis. Because the former success itself solved for potential existential problems. Especially the success of a job in a liberal Christian church. To be simple, clergy of the Episcopal church know too much to accept participation in a conservative church. But the liberal church is in decline mostly because there are smaller congregations that support liberal Christian churches. People who have liberal awareness including spiritual awareness are not necessarily going to want to participate in the liberal Christian churches. So to be simple, liberal Christianity is a smaller part of Christianity and a smaller part of all other spiritual cultural awareness communities. However they are still very large. Their decline is very slow. So because decline is not severe, the Episcopal church as a whole is not in crisis. Only some people who anticipate further decline in their church might be experiencing some level of crisis. But more likely what is common for people especially otherwise successful people is crisis in their primary relationship or marriage.

So the stories in the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos often focus on the failure of marriage. Although a person who is just finding out about the Book would not know that, what this indicates is that the discovery of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is healing for the existential grief often experienced by the decay of relationships including marriage. What is implied by communication from the spiritual church of Mariatheos is that Love from Mariatheos is what people need when their past experiences of human love are revealed to be illusory. What is subtly implied is that Divine Love from Mariatheos is superior to other sources of spiritual love.

Although the new testament speaks of the Kingdom of Heaven, the church of Mariatheos is the realm of Heaven we can have some experience of. The descent of the New Jerusalem could be interpreted as the development of the church of Mariatheos in the world. Thus we could hope that eventually people will experience so much intensity of life and divine love within the future church of Mariatheos, that the past purgatorial journey (necessary for becoming able to participate in the growth of the church of Mariatheos in the world) will be somewhat forgotten. This implies that there is an historical aspect to community purgatorial awareness development. That people in their alienation and suffering have an unknown common purgatorial journey and unknown common purpose and destiny.

Unfortunately because all personal patterns of awareness are interrelated, it is very difficult to gain more than a little experience of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Unless we understand that our difficult purgatorial awareness development is all ultimately from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Thus it is possible to accept that much of our awareness is mostly Not of heaven but that our awareness development is ultimately guided from heaven because the purpose of our purgatorial awareness development is gaining capacity for fuller awareness from Heaven of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

So unfortunately it is difficult to integrate spiritual awareness of Mariatheos with awareness of being in the world. If we consider that somehow we are participating in the creation of the church of Mariatheos in the world, then we can have some awareness of the integration of our spiritual awareness with our awareness of life in the world. It might seem the world would not accept a community that knows Our Divine Mother Mariatheos, but there are countless different awareness communities and even communities of participation in society. So it is because it is difficult for personal awareness to accept the awareness community from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, that the church of Mariatheos does not yet exist in the world. New very unusual patterns of personal awareness must evolve as people become engaged with the awareness community from Mariatheos.

Mariatheos becomes known as Our Divine Mother when we give up on anyone in the world, either individuals or communities, being the context (which is also the center) of our life. So much disillusionment is necessary for us to realize other people can not be the source of our awareness of reality. Thus although spiritual awareness might seem ephemeral, insubstantial, unbelievable; patterns of awareness of our self and of other people might at times disintegrate. This can be experienced as crisis, distress, even panic. It is then that we might dramatically shift our focus to what previously seemed not real, the realms of spiritual awareness. It is the shift in our focus that allows us to discover very different experience, awareness, and understanding of reality. However it is likely that at some point we will shift focus back to the world and perhaps partly forget the spiritual awareness we had, and enter the illusion that other people can be the center of our awareness of reality. Until disillusionment develops again.

Ironically during the decadent phase of societal development, spiritual awareness can be more transcendent of awareness of the world because decaying societal awareness communities are more obviously false. In other words it's more obvious society can not provide comprehensive awareness of reality that affirms life and can provide help for people's growth of awareness of life and participation in life.

Thus the spiritual church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is not in the world because it is so much in conflict with existing dominant awareness communities (even though they are in some degree of decay, decline, or fragmentation). So especially in the near term future, awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos must be mostly spiritual awareness beyond normal awareness of society. Thus although we are all dependent on society for our survival and circumstances, we can become less dependent on society for our awareness of reality. Thus millions of people have been discovering different ways of knowing reality, different kinds of patterns of awareness, and in different ways participating in the development of communities of awareness that together contribute to the evolution of society. Thus the beginning of the renaissance phase of societal evolution is in the decadent phase of societal development.

Unfortunately the path of or to Mariatheos and the church of Mariatheos is purgatorial. It is not necessarily an enjoyable path.

Some protestant pastors have converted to Catholicism.

So perhaps some clergy from the Episcopalian church could eventually convert to the church of Mariatheos. Possibly years after reading the Myth of Fredonia. Perhaps via a difficult convoluted purgatorial path of spiritual awareness development over several years. Or perhaps they have already been on such a journey, and their attachment to the Episcopal church might already have been decreasing and their openness to alternative spiritual cultural awareness might have been increasing. So perhaps for some people the reading of a copy of the Myth of Fredonia might awaken some personal awareness not able to be quickly dismissed. In other words, interior communication (not necessarily in language) from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos might develop for some people; and that could develop over time.

Although the amount of wisdom available in all diverse spiritual cultural communication is huge and beyond comprehension; the amount of wisdom available in the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is very large. Because the spiritual church of Mariatheos is unique, the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos is unique. Because it is a mystery which spiritual cultural awareness community different people discover as their primary source for wisdom and inspiration, it will be a mystery as to who discovers the spiritual church of Mariatheos and the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Although it seems impossible for people to discover Mariatheos, the awareness patterns that block such discovery can decrease. Because actually those awareness patterns developed historically; and some of them can dissipate over time. Thus it is not really individuals who discover new patterns of awareness but awareness communities that develop into the world. Although in the beginning a new awareness community seems to develop by the communication from an original writer or speaker, the introduction of a new awareness community is always a mysterious development with spiritual origin.

So the development of the awareness community of Mariatheos is a mysterious process of gradual acceptance by a small amount of people at first. However because the not observable community of Mariatheos in the spiritual realms is causal of communication of awareness to some people in the world, the mystery of how the community of awareness of Mariatheos develops in the world does not need to be understood.

The decay of relationships as the basis for family has become widespread and thus measurable in statistics. The decay of family is reaching the point where there is less family formation in the first place. However it is possible for children to be born from women who don't rely on a domestic partner for family, and often the mother and her mother and perhaps friends or other family members are the informal support system. Or worst case scenario, foster care. Because in many of the most modern societies the birth rate is falling, the problem of the decay of family is known but can not be solved for. However some communities have less of this problem and often they are the most religious communities in societies. Secular knowledge can not much understand this development; but half joking, a secular understanding of cultural social development could come to the conclusion that secular cultural awareness is dysfunctional for communities especially over generations. So although those who have a primarily secular understanding of reality might be reluctant to conclude that secular awareness and knowledge if comprehensive, if it displaces religious and spiritual awareness, is dysfunctional in society to a large degree; young adults who have not yet settled upon their own set of comprehensive knowledge of reality, might from observation of society conclude that indeed secular comprehensive awareness and knowledge must be somehow false. This might be a gut level conclusion not necessarily formulated conceptually. This is the multifaceted crisis in modern societies. The decline of sets of secular knowledge as able to claim authority and gain unquestioned acceptance by people in modern societies.

So unfortunately because spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos is at a high level of holiness and transcendence of the common awareness of people in the world, it will be in conflict with most of the common awareness of people in the world. So people will reject having awareness of Mariatheos. Thus unfortunately some people will have much purgatorial suffering from the decay of their patterns of awareness of self in the world, so that they might develop capacity for some spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Although obviously purgatorial spiritual awareness development is experienced by many people in different spiritual and religious communities, it is possible that some people will discover the spiritual church of Mariatheos as their community of spiritual awareness even if the church of Mariatheos does not yet exist in the world.

People have much resistance to awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Unfortunately because such awareness is eschatological, awareness of reality must decay. This requires substantial awareness of emptiness of both self and the world. Thus it is extremely difficult to gain much faith in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos; because She asks for Everything! So if someone accepts the path of discovery of spiritual awareness of Mariatheos then they have accepted the path of full transformation from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Unfortunately this is difficult purgatorial process of changing foundational awareness patterns. So because the path of discovery of spiritual awareness of Mariatheos is so purgatorial, it is very slow, gradual, difficult to tolerate and difficult to accept.

People have little control of their awareness patterns; both common awareness and spiritual awareness. Ultimately no one has control even if they are very functional in the world. Because there is so much strange, even bizarre awareness community in the world, much of which is very popular, that could indicate that it is not impossible for some people to adopt some awareness from the church of Mariatheos. So it is not impossible but probably not necessarily easy, because many other more bizarre awareness patterns are probably psychologically more similar to existing awareness patterns that people have. So although the myth of Mariatheos is closer to the well known myths of Christianity, its core awareness is further away from peoples awareness than some strange spiritual (galactic, 5 dimensional, alien, new age, Gaia, other spiritual realms, etc.) cultural myth. So the church of Mariatheos seems to be at a disadvantage. So people must have some development of their personal awareness that not only allows acceptance of the church of Mariatheos but needs the spiritual cultural awareness awareness only available in the Church of Mariatheos. Pragmatically many people must know that the church of Mariatheos and the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos exist; before a few people are, from some mysterious causality, pushed into purgatorial awareness development that develops capacity for revelation of spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos.

People will only have their personal experience to confirm how different is spiritual awareness of Mariatheos from other kinds of awareness. Everyone else belongs within other sets of comprehensive awareness, both personal ad hoc eclectic aggregates, or existing secular or spiritual or religious comprehensive awareness communities. So the church of Mariatheos claims to be one, but so far there is no confirmation of it. Except for spirit guides claiming it is important. So the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos explicitly portrays the church of Mariatheos as being important; at least to its participants. But that doesn't exist yet in the world. It requires significant incremental increase in faith for people who only have personal spiritual awareness of Mariatheos to have faith in the eventual development of the church community of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos in the world.

Thus capacity for faith develops incrementally. In other words it is not experientially stable; the cycles of spiritual awareness development must turn over repeatedly, recurringly. Thus experientially common awareness will be persistent at times. In other words lack of faith will be experienced often.

If people look to the world for the church of Mariatheos, they won't have much awareness of the spiritual church of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Spiritual purpose is for some people to gradually, incrementally, and unfortunately purgatorially discover spiritual awareness of Mariatheos via spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit and Angels from Mariatheos! One can Not expect anyone to quickly fully become filled with faith in Mariatheos. It is possible but not probable. Although the fictional stories portray some people quickly experiencing full conversion to faith in Mariatheos, it is actually not knowable if that is possible; most probably it is a portrayal of an ideal; which really is often the way stories communicate. So the reality of how others develop faith in Mariatheos will be different from the ways portrayed in the stories. Since most probably people will discover faith in Mariatheos gradually, slowly and incrementally; it is probable that no one will much communicate that they have developed faith in Mariatheos; unless their faith becomes so large that they must communicate about their faith in Mariatheos to other people. So eventually it is possible that several people will go public in their communication about faith in Our Divine Mother Mariatheos.

Because conflicts in the world between nations or between people are often persistent and often any eventual resolution of a conflict leaves some persistent discontent, the world is not the area of awareness where there is an absence of conflict, distress, and suffering. Although it might seem wrong to ignore the world and focus on the spiritual realm for a solution to suffering in the world; humility and wisdom accepts that suffering will persist in the world no matter what the individual does or does not do. In other words we are helpless to change the world. Paradoxically gaining some spiritual awareness transcendent of the world can reveal how creation develops in the world and it becomes possible to participate from spiritual purpose in life in the world. Spiritual awareness accepts the coexistence of both growth and decay in the world. Humility accepts participation in the growth of what is possible and accepts what is in decay that is unavoidable.

Hundreds of copies of the Myth of Fredonia have been mailed out to Episcopal churches. Some people must have had some spiritual awareness of Mariatheos! There is a probability that some people have some spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos. Because others' personal spiritual awareness of Mariatheos might not be communicated to others or only to relatively few people; because such awareness might be very little and very tentative; because such awareness might be considered likely to be judged, ridiculed, or dismissed by others; others' spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos might remain almost totally personal for a long while. In other words it is not likely that people with some spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos will coalesce into known community awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos, for a while. However an unusual individual might have so much capacity for inspiration and motivation from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos that they might be a leader of community of Mariatheos in the world.

Many different books are read decades after they were written. But unfortunately most probably the number of people who read some of the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos might be very very few for years before more people read a portion of the Book beyond the mailing of the Myth of Fredonia. But the Myth of Fredonia contains succinctly the most important ideas from the Book. Thus the Book is not yet the focus of the development of the spiritual awareness community from Mariatheos among people in the world. The Myth of Fredonia is mostly all that is necessary for there to develop some spiritual awareness of Mariatheos or from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos for the unknown people who are beginning on the path to Our Divine Mother Mariatheos. Since purpose is mostly direct communication from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos within the awareness of other people, mostly other people will not need and importantly will not have the capacity for much spiritual cultural communication ( the Book, video talks ) from the church of Mariatheos in the world. At this time the major public manifestation of the church of Mariatheos in the world is the Book of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos; but relatively few people have motivation to read much of it.

Some people might not be able to understand their personal history unless they accept spiritual purpose from the spiritual awareness community from Mariatheos. It is possible that some people can accept that they have been continually guided for all of their life time by spiritual mind and spiritual forces aligned with the not observable spiritual church of Mariatheos, and the source of their awareness development. Perhaps it will be some of the people who read the myth of Fredonia ( hundreds of copies of the Myth of Fredonia have been mailed to Episcopal churches ). Maybe just very few out of the many people who receive the mailing.

Unfortunately it is probable that someone who is open to spiritual awareness from Holy Spirit from Mariatheos would have to at least partly accept celibacy. Although it might seem that severely limits the number of people who could consider spiritual awareness of Mariatheos, that assumption about other people might be false. Many more people might more easily accept celibacy than what is apparent from common societal assumptions about what desires are intrinsic to being human. Mostly that is because decades of decadence have disillusioned and even psychologically traumatized many more people than is much realized by the awareness communities of secular society which are much more archaic than can be accepted by these dominant secular awareness communities. Thus it is within more marginal cultural and spiritual cultural awareness communities where there is knowledge of the extent of the tragic aspects of decadence. To some degree the rejection of secular worldviews (which have contributed to decadence in society and in many people's lives) is an aspect of the motivation for many people to embrace traditional religion. So ironically many older people who have a personal history of rejection of traditional religion when they were young are surprised when some young people reject secular assumptions about reality and seriously engage with traditional religion.

Only full eschatological awareness fully transcends awareness from the self in the world, or both self and the world, this is inherently mystical awareness that experientially is superior to our everyday common awareness. Although perhaps this experience seems impossible to gain, there is mostly unconscious mystical awareness at the center of people's worldviews; that is awareness that understands the world and someone's existence within their world. So a comprehensive worldview is implicitly or explicitly religious or spiritual. Secular worldviews usually imply the world or society is causal and contextual for people. Although secular worldviews conflict with the spiritual or religious, pragmatically most people have both kinds; they coexist within their total awareness and conflict is minimized by compartmentalization of different sets of awareness and understanding. However sometimes that conflict becomes unavoidably partly conscious. Awareness and understanding is forced to develop. Perhaps the religious and spiritual awareness of a person must evolve and increase and their secular awareness and understanding must change and decrease.

The church of Mariatheos is a narrow and very very long and very difficult path out from Hell. Hopefully the path gets a little easier the more people who have started walking the path and begin to help each other. Hopefully some time in the future actual communities of Mariatheos will develop. Because such communities are closer to Heaven of Mariatheos, participation in a community of Mariatheos should be to some degree experience of being in Heaven of Mariatheos.

Unfortunately spiritual contextual awareness is very distressfull to transition to. Much fear of loss of habitual common awareness patterns, even if very limited are considered real and unable to decrease or become empty. Thus they do persist but if conscious can also be witnessed even if just a little. So incrementally such persistent common awareness, assumptions and attitudes, can gradually dissipate. Thus because foundational patterns of awareness are very deep they are very difficult to transform. Such transformation develops purgatorially, gradually, incrementally, and it should become obvious that the self has no control over the life long process. At best and only sometimes can one cooperate with purgatorial spiritual awareness development. So even though mostly we are ignorant of how our patterns of awareness develop, we could sometimes have faith in not known spiritual forces which transform us. Thus paradoxically, no matter what our experience, even if at some level of chronic suffering, we can have faith in glorious love from Holy Spirit from Our Divine Mother. Because after a while we can have faith that we not only survive our purgatorial awareness development, but we know the purpose is glorious transformation of the totality of our awareness.

Only Holy Spirit from Mariatheos knows how the spiritual awareness community from Mariatheos will develop within some people in the world. Only after much growth of the awareness community from Mariatheos will there develop some corresponding social participation from the spiritual awareness community from Mariatheos. Although the word church is used the forms of the future communities of participation inspired by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos could be very different from the patterns of churches in the past. Almost nothing about the growth of community inspired by Holy Spirit from Mariatheos can now be known. Only faith can inspire hope that there will develop spiritual cultural social communities of Mariatheos in the world in the future.

Because we can not really understand much about the world or society; and the future is almost completely not known; we really don't have anything to rely on but memory. But memory is not reliable, neither for understanding the past or the future; personal experience disregards memory for providing much certainty about anything, especially the future. So we really don't have any solution except faith but experiential faith is often not available. So the only real solution is acceptance of emptiness. But there is a lot, a lot of resistance to emptiness. So chronic various degrees of distress are not avoidable. It takes time (and limited necessary participation) for distraction to turn into contemplation. Contemplation of experience implies having some limited experience of emptiness in order for having some capacity to witness and observe experience; which eventually develops into some moments of fuller experience of emptiness or acceptance of emptiness. Emptiness of patterns of self knowledge (emotional and conceptual, attitudes and fundamental assumptions ) .

Such incremental transcendence of patterns of self in the world awareness is so alternative to normal personal awareness that any experience is not only welcome but reveals compassion for the extent of resistance to emptiness. But because resistance occupies time, and experience of transformation is only incremental, one also might realize that the future will continue to contain much resistance to further incremental acceptance of emptiness. Thus we should realize that our purgatorial spiritual awareness development will continue in time indefinitely.

No one is causal of their awareness, but many people believe that their understanding of at least part of reality is true, but there are a large amount of different sets of understanding in society; so the total great diversity is not known by anyone. Thus society contains great alienation and much low level conflict and some high level of conflict. However everything that exists have some patterns of inter-relationship and coexistence. Even if it is impossible to have knowledge of all of it. We are usually more ignorant of reality than we acknowledge. We are especially ignorant about what is causal.

The church of Mariatheos does not offer much detailed knowledge of what is causal, especially of patterns in the world. The church of Mariatheos offers a path to experiential knowledge of universal and eternal life and awareness of Our Divine Mother Mariatheos as original source of universal and eternal life. This includes some experiential awareness of Divine Love.